• What should I do if my husband said he doesn’t love me anymore? Why does a loving man leave and why do people leave loving women? My husband said he loves me but wants to leave

    20.12.2023

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    “A man’s love comes in three forms: he publicly declares his rights to you, he protects and provides,” says Steve Harvey, author of the acclaimed book “Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man.” One can partly argue with this - in our time, not all women need support or protection from a man. But they definitely need love if they are already having an affair. True, sometimes women tend to see love where there is none at all.

    It happens that the partner does not say anything, but the woman feels that something is wrong. We are in website We have collected 10 sure signs that a man does not have strong feelings for you. Carefully analyze his behavior in the situations described below.

    Tender words and caresses

    The language of love is gentle words, touches, hugs and kisses. When we call our partner “bunny”, “sunshine” or “babe”, we create a special intimate atmosphere that is accessible only to two. The choice of a pet name occurs unconsciously and shows how one partner treats the other, who dominates the relationship and how balanced it is.

    By the way, Men need “calf tenderness” no less than women. Researchers from the United States surveyed a thousand married couples and found that those husbands who often kiss and hug their wives feel 3 times happier in their marriage than those who do not kiss. So, if your man winces when you hug him and call him “my cat,” the reason is not due to innate male severity. As sad as it is, most likely he just lost interest in you.

    Criticism of appearance

    There is such a wise saying by Omar Khayyam: “Even the shortcomings in a loved one are liked, and even the virtues in an unloved one are annoying.” For a truly loving man, you are always beautiful, even disheveled and in pajamas inherited from your grandmother. He won't even notice that you've gained a couple of extra pounds after the winter holidays unless you say so yourself. But if a man constantly drives you to the gym or hints that you need plastic surgery, do not rush to indulge him. More likely, if he is not satisfied with your appearance, he is not satisfied with you yourself. And even if you lose weight, he will still find something to complain about.

    Discussing your shortcomings with friends

    Women often tend to discuss problems in relationships or their partner's shortcomings with their friends, but men try not to air their dirty laundry in public. None of us are perfect, but truly loving people focus on their partner's strengths rather than their weaknesses.

    If your partner allows himself to publicly humiliate you and laugh at your mistakes, do not expect anything good from such a relationship. Your partner does not respect you, and without respect, a reliable, strong union is impossible. By criticizing you in front of other people, he unconsciously tries to prove to others (and himself) that you yourself are to blame for the fact that he stopped loving you.

    Attitude to your habits

    Women love to complain about men's socks scattered around the house, but they themselves sometimes have unnerving or strange habits. We love to occupy the bathroom for 2 hours and chat with mom on Skype for the same amount of time; fill the entire closet with your things, climb into a guy’s plate in a restaurant to try his dish; singing the same stupid song all day. At the same time, loving men, as a rule, endure all this steadfastly and remain silent or react with humor. If a man begins to constantly make comments to you on any little things, then the only feeling he has left for you is irritation.

    Pay attention to what you say

    Men absolutely cannot stand the sight of women's tears. And recently a scientific explanation was found for this: it turns out that women’s tears contain special volatile substances that reduce the level of testosterone in the blood of men (accordingly, sexual desire decreases). So you shouldn’t often use crying as a way to influence your chosen one.

    In fact, when you cry, a man wants to run away and not see it. But, if he loves, he will pull himself together and try with all his might to console you, even if the reason for tears seems trivial to him. He will be calm only when a smile shines on your face again. But if he doesn’t love you, then your tears will be just another reason to get angry with you.

    Flirting, flirting, love correspondence

    For a loving man, the requests and desires of his beloved girl (and not his friends or distant relatives) will always come first. In fact, men like to help women - it gives them the opportunity to demonstrate how tough, strong and responsible they are. Of course, there are situations when a man is not able to help himself, for example, he does not know how to fix a leaking faucet, but he definitely should not leave you alone to deal with this problem, he will call a plumber. If the most innocent request like “honey, please screw in the light bulb” is perceived with grumbling as another impossible task, it’s worth thinking about whether your man is helping some other woman, and with much more enthusiasm? . Therefore, it is quite natural that your man begins to get nervous when another “male” pays attention to you. Another thing is that people, of course, are not monkeys, and attacks of overly violent jealousy will only harm relationships.

    But when a man is absolutely indifferent to the signs of attention that other men show his lady, this is an alarming sign. He no longer wants to fight for her, try to become better so that she doesn’t leave for someone else.

    Protection from dangers

    The need to protect their loved ones is also basic for a man. And to be protected is a woman’s natural need. And although modern men no longer have to protect the fairer sex from predators and wild tribes, there are still plenty of dangers in our troubled world. Therefore, it is quite natural that a loving man worries when his significant other returns late from work or is alone in an unfamiliar place or company. If he can't be there, he'll at least call her and make sure she's okay. By protecting a woman from threats (no matter real or imaginary), a man feels like a superhero.

    Therefore, if you do not receive protection and support from a man in difficult situations (for example, you get home alone at night or get lost in a strange city, or your boss yelled at you and the man doesn’t care), this is a very bad sign. Your chosen one is either a coward or simply doesn’t love you. Why do you need this?

    What kind of behavior from a man would alarm you personally?

    Why does a loving man leave and why do people leave loving women?

    Despite the fact that love reigns in the family, its disintegration is quite often observed, and in some cases the initiator is a representative of the stronger sex. What is the reason? Why does a loving man leave?? After all, he very quickly gets used to the comfort created by a woman:

    • to her care;
    • washed, ironed items;
    • delicious delicacies;
    • fresh, clean bed.

    Parting with pleasant amenities is quite difficult. If a loved one finally got up and left, this indicates that he had already decided everything a long time ago, created a rear in advance and was considering the decision about who it was and what was dearer to him. In order to know and understand why do men leave women who love them, it is necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of the situation, characterize the behavior of both partners, and only after that it is quite possible that the true reason for what happened will become clear.

    Possible reasons

    1. The man got another one. In this case, breaking up with your beloved man is the most difficult to bear. After all, this greatly hurts the heart of a representative of the fairer sex and hurts her pride. But it is very important to come out of this situation with your head held high. If a man fell in love with another, then nothing can be done about it. The best thing is to let go and not try to get him back at any cost. When someone is involved in a case, most often it is a passing hobby.
    2. Why does a man say he loves him but leaves? Sometimes, after several years of living together, spouses realize that they are completely different, as are their goals and aspirations. When this understanding comes, such relationships are simply doomed to collapse, even if there are children in the family. And a rich joint economy here will not keep the relationship from falling apart.
    3. If a woman becomes uninteresting, then it is quite possible that the man will leave. For long-term relationships, men choose wise representatives of the fairer sex, who are able to carry on a conversation at any time and pleasantly surprise with their knowledge in certain areas. Of course, everything should be in moderation.
    4. If a woman stops taking care of herself over time, then it is likely that the man will lose interest in her. The result will be one that smells like perfume and looks great. He will not make constant comments to his wife on this matter.
    5. A negative atmosphere is another reason why a man does not want to return. Life is full of worries and problems, as a result people forget what it means to smile and almost do not communicate with their loved ones. It is important to remember that your loved one needs affection and care, he needs to be given maximum attention. A man should be greeted from work with a warm smile, and a delicious dinner should be waiting for him in the kitchen. In order to save the family, you need to be positive more often, no matter how many problems have accumulated.

    Loving and being loved is the dream of all people, it can become a reality if you put in just a little effort. You just need to always remain yourself, pay attention to those around you. It's always easier to deal with problems together.

    We are all accustomed to the fact that people break up when love passes. “I love, but I leave” is a paradox, but often a woman can leave a man while loving him.

    Love is a feeling that does not tolerate judgment, it cannot be measured and compared, you should not be biased towards it, as well as extol it. Love for each of us is individual and incredibly relative. Until now, no one can give this feeling a specific definition.

    Love has no boundaries and no prohibitions - no one will ever be able to unite two people if there is no cherished feeling between them - love. And, conversely, in order to destroy what exists, it does not require much effort. Love leaves, leaving a painful mark every time. And time after time people ask the question: what happened, how could this happen? Why did love leave if everything seemed to be fine?

    6 main reasons why women leave men when they love them:

    1. Woman feels lonely.

    For every woman in a relationship, it is very important to know and feel needed, to know that she matters to you. If the one with whom she walks hand in hand does not provide her with support, then she will look for it in her friends, mother, close people, and herself. But does she need a relationship without the most important thing - mutual return and support of her loved one? And sooner or later, despite her love, a woman realizes that there is no point in such a relationship.

    For a woman, her beloved man is the whole world, this is her life. But for men, simple comfort is enough to get complete satisfaction. The moment a woman realizes that her importance in a couple is not equal to the one she gives to the man, she leaves. A woman needs to be needed, and a union in which she does not receive this is no longer love or even reciprocity. This is the main reason for her decision to break off the relationship.

    1. A woman expects action from a man, not empty words.

    Surely you have heard that a woman loves with her ears and is extremely sensitive to affectionate words. Don't throw your words to the wind. Having promised something, you must confirm your words. I'm not talking about heroic deeds. These can be habitual things that you can do every day to prove and strengthen your connection with her.

    You don’t have to be a Hidalgo, but you have to be a man in everything: don’t allow a woman to carry bags, wash shoes and take out the trash, do simple household chores without a woman’s reminders or requests.

    Only by realizing that the one to whom a woman has opened up and trusted can support her and protect her from any adversity does she blossom, develop and always move forward.

    1. A woman does not feel attractive.

    The intimate side of a relationship is very important for both partners, and it is also important to maintain and maintain interest in each other. It is necessary that its manifestations always have a place in everyday life. Women always appreciate attention, little surprises, pleasant words, and spontaneity in a man. So don't be surprised if you pay attention to others or linger in front of the TV before heading into her bedroom and find her asleep. The woman sees and feels that the relationship between you has changed. It is at the moment when she realizes that you do not want her, but some nurse from a movie, that the relationship comes to an end. This means that the woman needs to move forward, but without you.

    1. Enormous changes in life .

    As a rule, not all women are materialistic. They don't care about a car, a fur coat or expensive boots. These are all stereotypes. The main thing that is important for a woman to receive from a man is confidence. As they say, in both sorrow and joy he should be alone with her. But life goes on, and significant changes periodically occur, which become a strong psychological test for a woman - menopause sets in, children grow up and move away. It is during such periods that she must be firmly convinced that these are only temporary difficulties, but he always remains nearby - a strong and worthy man who respects and shares her experiences.

    If a woman does not feel this support, she is capable of destroying everything that has been built over the years in one day in order to start everything from scratch alone. It will be much easier for her this way.

    1. Lack of recognition

    Typical behavior of men: with age, they practically lose interest in matters and things that do not concern them personally. A woman, on the contrary, at any age needs these moments. It is important for her to hear a compliment from a man about a new dress, hairstyle, or to see basic manifestations of care. Such seemingly small things make her happy. Make it a rule - don’t be lazy in relationships, maintain energy balance and don’t let boredom become your constant habit. A man should always remain his woman's companion.

    1. “I’m not on the same path with him!”

    Those times when a woman needed someone who would fully provide for her and satisfy all her needs are long gone. The modern woman is strong, patient, self-sufficient. She herself fully realizes her potential and wants a suitable man nearby. With hobbies, interests, easy-going, with similar spiritual values ​​and intelligence. If a woman feels that these things do not match, then she thinks about whether this is her man. And she can leave.

    You will find out what kind of man you need at

    With love,
    Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

    “Love is the main value”, “love conquers everything”, “true love never fails” - I can continue this whole series of sugary phrases that we learn in childhood.

    No, I'm not a cynic. I believe in true love. Moreover, I even believe that I myself married my soulmate. But I also believe that love is not everything. After all, before my eyes there are hundreds of examples where truly loving couples still got divorced. Yes, these were real feelings, but, alas, they were never able to preserve them.

    As a result, the relationship ends, and every second woman in such cases asks only one question: “What went wrong?”

    After all, everything was perfect, you both invested heavily in the relationship, but suddenly - bang! - and everything went wrong. Why did love end? I have seven answers.

    He doesn't feel appreciated by you

    If you have at least once in your life been interested in male psychology (at least superficially), then you probably know: men do not just desire, they crave recognition. If they do not receive it, their existence becomes meaningless, and the soul simply dies. Well, okay, not everything is so dramatic, but, seriously, never forget: the feeling of being needed is what keeps a man in his relationship with a woman. If he understands that you don’t value him, then no matter how much he loves you, he will leave.

    And it's not about just saying “thank you.” You must truly, from the bottom of your heart, appreciate everything that he does for you, support his goals, ambitions and desires. Yes, perhaps you will not agree in some ways, and it will seem to you that there is simply nothing to praise him for. But this is a mistake - because whatever the result, his original intentions were positive.

    When I was working on my books or articles, I talked about this topic with countless men - and the vast majority admitted to me that they left their lovers as soon as they stopped feeling needed. They just didn't like the relationship anymore. End of story.

    You've changed

    Of course, when two hearts begin to beat in unison, life around them begins to change. You become family to each other, your relationship becomes more stable, but this does not mean at all that now you can not try harder.

    I'll explain. If your relationship now is radically different from how it began, then it’s time to think about it. Maintaining the “memory of the past” allows you to preserve the spark in the relationship, those special feelings that you experienced when you first fell in love with each other. The brain will remember all those emotions when you were simply getting to know each other, and accordingly fuel your interest in your partner in five, ten and twenty years.

    Another important sub-point here is also banal self-care - something that many of us neglect when we begin to believe that love has already survived all the trials. Of course, no one asks you to always be in full dress (relaxing is normal), but still don’t forget about yourself. Emotionally, you yourself will feel more confident, and your partner will constantly feel interested in you.

    In a word, of course, there is no need to go headlong into the 80s. But still, try every time to draw a parallel between how you behaved when he fell in love with you, and how you behave now. Men forgive us for aging or extra pounds after pregnancy. What they don't forgive is apathy.

    He feels that you are unhappy with him

    This is due to a man's basic need to be needed. Roughly speaking, the logic is this: if you are unhappy with him, then you don’t need him. Therefore, he will leave you - no matter how beautiful you are.

    If, on the contrary, you appreciate everything he does for you, he begins to feel his own importance. Moreover, he begins to feel the need to develop in order to be even better. And this is always a good sign.

    On the other hand, don't expect that making you happy is his responsibility. Then it will be a substitution of concepts. Your feelings are your feelings. His task, from his point of view, is to help ensure that his presence or any actions are significant for you in the most positive sense. In other words, if you are equally happy both with him and without him, he will leave.

    Your communication is completely negative

    If there is not a single good note in communication between partners, the relationship begins to seem like a complete burden. As a rule, this happens when both partners view their union as the only possible source of happiness, instead of feeding on positivity from the outside and bringing it into the house.

    Believe me, a woman who deliberately waits to be made happy becomes a burden to a man.

    There are almost no neurotics among men, because their logic is extremely simple: you need to avoid the bad and develop the good. Yes, everyone has difficult times - it is naive to think that your couple will never face them. But if negativity and eternal problems have become your daily reality, you need to take action. Otherwise, you will break up very soon.

    You have different goals

    And do not underestimate this factor. Perhaps, once upon a time, you decided that “love will survive all obstacles,” but here it is important to understand that different values ​​are one of the most insurmountable obstacles. In my lifetime, many couples have broken up, and many because of such an obvious reason that both decided to ignore. Don't doubt it: sooner or later it will make itself known.

    A good friend of mine left his girlfriend a couple of days before he was planning to propose to her. The girl was beautiful, but, alas, she was too fond of spending money on all sorts of little things, while my friend, on the contrary, loved to save, since he felt stable only when he had at least something in his soul. And they, of course, could have compromised - but no one wanted to give in.

    The difference in life goals can manifest itself in everything: in the desire or reluctance of children, in their number, in the choice of urban or rural housing, in religion, and so on. If you don't communicate your values ​​and compromise up front, chances are you won't succeed. Be realistic and don't think that everything will resolve itself.

    You're constantly trying to change him

    “I will change him” is perhaps the biggest mistake of all women who enter into a relationship. It doesn’t matter how sensitive you are, he will still feel that you are trying to judge him and mold him into someone who he by definition is not, or even worse, someone he simply does not want to be.

    I don’t argue that you and I have a phenomenal ability to change our lovers. But still, do not forget to give your man his own space so that he can develop the best in himself. Don’t put pressure on him, don’t grumble or nag him - a permanent feeling of guilt has never had a good effect on a relationship.

    You are not independent

    If you are emotionally dependent on your man, expect trouble. As a rule, such relationships very quickly become so toxic that they simply explode. Believe me, no one will be pleased to constantly serve as your vest, and especially not a man who, as you know, values ​​his own time and space. Plus, if you depend on him for everything, he will feel too much pressure. And he will leave. It won't stand it.

    Emotional abuse is a very great sin. Value autonomy in relationships, develop yourself in order to bring new things into your union. Men are not always able to explain that they don’t like something. They just feel it and leave.

    Summary

    Still, if you feel that none of these reasons apply specifically to your situation, maybe you should think about the fact that he simply did not love you enough? After all, human relationships do not always lend themselves to logic or any intelligible explanation. But what is certain is that if people truly love each other, they will fight for their union.

    Just love, however, is not everything. Factors such as compatibility, characters, and values ​​cannot be deleted from relationships. You need to invest in your feelings every day. As soon as you stop doing this, everything will collapse.

    Remember: men don't just leave. They leave at a moment when nothing can be saved.

    Sabrina Alexis, coach, psychologist, columnist and author of He's Not That Complicated.

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