Postman Pechkin at the anniversary
Presenter: Good evening Dear guests, today I want to welcome you all to this hall. Do you know why we have gathered here today? (guests must answer).
Presenter: That's right, today we will celebrate the birthday of one wonderful woman, this evening is dedicated to you, our beloved Anna Alekseevna, because today you are the hero of the day, dear. So, dear guests, let us dance, sing songs and congratulate today!
(there is a loud knock on the door).
Presenter: Who is that knocking on our door? Who's there?
(answer from behind the door).
It’s me, Postman Pechkin, who brought telegrams for your hero of the day.
(Postman Pechkin comes out from behind the door, with a large bag with telegrams, dressed up like in the cartoon Prostokvashino).
Presenter: Hello, Postman Pechkin. Come to us and make yourself at home.
Postman Pechkin: Yes, yes, whose are you? Where did you come from? (addresses the hero of the day). In addition to the telegrams, I have this newspaper, which says the following: A woman has disappeared, height 170 cm, brown eyes, light brown hair, 55 years old. A bicycle awaits the finder. And excuse me, this lady is very suitable, now I will measure you here (takes a tape measure and approaches the hero of the day and begins to measure her). Excuse me, how old are you today? (The hero of the day answers 55). Yes, it’s definitely you! Hooray, now I will have my own bike.
Presenter: Just wait, it’s our anniversary here, and you’re with your bike.
Postman Pechkin: Well, excuse me, they don’t give bicycles for everyone.
Presenter: You’d better tell us congratulatory telegrams read out.
Postman Pechkin: In front of all the guests, I confess,
Why do I become soft with women?
And I won’t be harmful anymore.
After all, I came to the anniversary,
Congratulate the birthday girl quickly,
And read telegrams from friends to her.
Presenter: Well, come on, dear guests, we will hear telegrams for our hero of the day.
Postman Pechkin: I brought you telegrams, but I won’t give them to you.
Presenter: Why is that? Come on, give us our telegrams?
Postman Pechkin: I will give you all your telegrams only when you treat me to something tasty and after celebrating my birthday, the hero of the day comes with me. I want to return it to those who are looking for it. And finally pick up your promised bike.
Presenter: Well, okay, okay. And we will treat you and you will return your hero of the day to good hands! Well, dear guests, shall we treat our dear Pechkin to something tasty? (all guests must answer). Our dear Postman Pechkin, please sit down at our table. (Pechkin goes to the table and sits next to the hero of the day, they pour vodka for him, and everyone sings together for our birthday boy).
Postman Pechkin: Thank you for your treat. Well, now let's get down to the congratulatory telegrams.
Here is the first telegram for you:
Here's Anyuta for your anniversary,
A telegram from Galya Blanca as soon as possible,
She sent you as a gift,
This cube is precious!
(Gives a bouillon cube from Galina Blanca).
Second telegram:
Dear hero of the day,
You are simply super, there is no one more beautiful than you,
So accept greetings from me, from Rasputina Masha.
Third telegram:
Greetings from Putin here,
He sends you an envelope of money. (gives an envelope with money).
Fourth Telegram:
Telegram from Tatyana Ustinova,
She gives you as a gift,
This book is for leisure,
Read it and don't be bored at all.
Fifth telegram:
My compliment for you Anyuta,
Organ organ You are my soul!
Basque Kolya writes this to you!
Please accept my congratulations.
Sixth telegram:
Greetings from Vinokur,
You are super, artistic nature,
Accept from me on your day,
Quick kiss.
Seventh telegram:
I'll write in a telegram
That I love only you very much,
Open this heart,
And always be only you with me.
And Kirkorov also sends you lipstick,
Put on your makeup, put on your makeup -
Filippchik will like you. (gives lipstick and a mirror in the shape of a heart).
Eighth telegram:
May everything always be fine for you,
Take a kiss from me, Kseni Sobchak.
Postman Pechkin: That's all my congratulatory telegrams. And now, dear guests, let’s drink to our dear, beloved, dear hero of the day.
(all guests raise their glasses, and Postman Pechkin says a toast).
Postman Pechkin: Dear Anya,
I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart,
And I wish to see you again,
Come to Prostokvashino now,
I will be glad to see you, the door is always open for you.
(this ends the scene with Postman Pechkin).
Pechkin: Congratulations, hostess! I wish you to bloom and grow younger! And I didn’t come empty-handed. I have congratulatory telegrams for your hero of the day.
Leading: Give them to the hero of the day as soon as possible.
Pechkin: Look how smart they are. But I won’t hand it over.
Leading: How can you not hand it over? If telegrams are addressed to Olga, they must be delivered.
Pechkin: You never know what I have to do. I won’t just give these telegrams away. (holds the mail bag to himself)
Leading: All clear. Let's sing a song or perform a dance for Pechkin.
Pechkin: Am I some kind of Santa Claus? I can sing and dance myself.
Leading: Then please tell me, dear postman Pechkin, what needs to be done in order for you to give us these telegrams?
Pechkin: I love cultural treatment and hospitality.
Leading: Postman Pechkin, join our company, relax, taste a delicious treat.
Pechkin: Thanks for the treat! (takes a glass and says a toast)
Leading: Wonderful toast! We all join you.
Pechkin: Now is the time congratulatory telegrams hand over.
CONGRATULATING TELEGRAMS
Option 1
Congratulations on the anniversary!
Wait for an increase in your salary.
I haven’t decided yet by what percentage,
I haven’t visited Merkel yet.
Your boss.....
Who want to be a millionaire,
he must visit the First.
You come to Moscow,
Ask where Galkin is, that is, me, Maxim.
Then catch your luck!
I'm waiting for you at the show.
You become an example for the Motherland
And just be a millionaire!
Maksim Galkin
I wish to appear to you like the phantom of the opera.
Have some vodka, caviar and a cup of tea.
Congratulate you on the holiday and sing “Hurdy Organ” for you.
But it’s very hard to wake up early.
You yourself drink and, having eaten the sausage,
Congratulate yourself! Kolya Baskov!
Option 2
More congratulatory telegrams were sent to our birthday girl, but all of them were unsigned. You need to guess the sender. These are people known to everyone.
I wish I could sing with the guitar more often!
Have a nice company!... ROTARU
Live life, Olga, fun and cool!
Don't forget about your childhood!... QUEEN
I wish you a lot of music and laughter!
Love and eternal youth!. ..PIEHA
May there always be plenty of money!
And Kurinwe's legs!... BABA YAGA
You look like a painting today!
I'll send you the key to happiness!... Pinocchio
Don't get into emergencies or firefights!
We wish you a long life! Group.. .ARROWS
Option 3
Happy birthday!
I wish you happiness!
I leave all the clear days to you,
I take all the gloomy days for myself.
I promise you without deception
You trust me.
(Oleg Gazmanov)
***
Congratulations on your anniversary!
I won't be able to come.
I'm in the hospital.
You ask in the car park,
So that the green-eyed one. Taxi
People haven't been driven so fast,
But it slowed down and slowed down.
(Mikhail Boyarsky)
***
Congratulations on your anniversary!
I wish you health!
I'll come visit you
And together with you I will give “chic”!
(Philip Kirkorov)
***
Happy birthday!
I didn't forget about the gift. By mail
I sent a rabbit sheepskin coat.
Wear it and don’t forget about “Lube”.
Greetings
(Nikolai Rastorguev)
***
Congratulations on your anniversary!
Let us note, friend, that the years
They run like our walkers.
And life is neither sugar nor honey
Who is fattening and who is dying.
But, my friend, don’t be discouraged,
Sing songs with us!
(Balagan Ltd group)
***
Happy birthday!
Good luck!
I'll give you a jar of coffee and a box
I'll send it.
I drink it myself in the morning...
Together with your loved one.
(Marina Khlebnikova)
***
Congratulations on your anniversary!
You have no reason to be sad.
After all, you are celebrating your name day today.
Your men are next to you,
Pour more into their glasses.
Well, they'll get drunk; What's wrong with that?
I agree with them.
(Alla Pugacheva)
Texts of comic telegrams for birthdays, anniversaries
“Happy Birthday. I’m already on my way. I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”
(HANGOVER)
“Although I am fickle and changeable, I am never bad. So accept me today as I am.”
(WEATHER)
"Drink, go for a walk, just to have enough of me"
(HEALTH)
“It’s indecent to squeeze and stroke me for so long. Finally make a decision.”
(SHOT OF VODKA)
"I'm as devastated as always on your birthday."
(FRIDGE)
"Don't drink without me"
(TOAST)
“I want to cuddle up to your knees or chest”
(NAPKIN)
"Happy Birthday dear, I will be with you for three more days"
(OLIVIER SALAD)
"You're still drinking and you're thinking about me"
(LIVER)
Ask your friends not to scare me like last time."
(TOILET)
I'm already deformed, when will the dancing start?
(POP)
Oh, and I’ll unwind today.
(TOILET PAPER)
“Oh, when will everyone leave, when we’ll be alone and you’ll start looking at me.”
(PRESENT)
Be careful, we might not be able to keep you."
(LEGS)
Thank you for the holiday, I will come back next year"
(BIRTHDAY)
“Such physical exertion can make you go crazy.”
(JAW)
“If I hiss, don’t be offended, because it’s because of the feelings overwhelming me.”
(Champagne)
“We report: we started work with a bang!”
(Chairs)
“Today you will listen only to us”
(Congratulations and Wishes)
“How we hate your birthday. If your friends treat us like this, you will be left without us.”
(Ears)
"Congratulations. I wish you to have fun with me on your birthday.”
(Shashlik)
“I want to capture this wonderful birthday” -.
(Camera)
“I’m ready to shed tears about your passing years.”
(Rain)
“I want to congratulate the birthday boy, no, step on my throat.”
(Song)
“I allow you to get drunk today, you won’t get me drunk anyway.”
(Talent)
“I am happy for you and melt with happiness.”
(Jellied meat or Ice cream)
“I wither in comparison with your charm.”
(Bouquet)
“Ready to blow into your sails!”
(Wind)
“We wish our dreams come true.”
(Dreams)
“Sorry that I’m wearing a fur coat. Help me remove it."
(Herring)
“I’ll take care of the festive illumination.”
(Chandelier)
“You’re still drinking, but are you thinking about me?”
(Liver)
“Those who wanted to congratulate you cut me off!”
(Telephone)
“Don’t be sad that you parted with us. IN next year We promise to visit more often.”
(Money)
“If you get drunk, there’s no point in blaming me later.”
(Mirror)
“I may be a fool, but it feels so good to be stuffed.”
(Stomach)
“I spread out into black rivulets of joy.”
(Mascara)
“You celebrate, we’ll wait.” .
(Affairs)
“I promise not to wake up on your birthday.”
(Salt)
“I forgive you for not noticing me.”
(Time)
“Forget your sorrows, give yourself to me.”
(Fun)
“Already ready to ignite.”
(Cake)
“Knock, knock, knock, it’s me!” Open the door!"
(Happiness)
“Darling, I know that on this birthday you wanted to break up with me. I beg you, don’t leave me.”
(Nicotine)
“I’m waiting for everyone to leave so I can say: “You’re mine now!”
(Dirty dishes)
SMS - FROM VARIETY STARS
On the eve of our holiday, pop stars congratulated us. They gave her their compliments for a long time and sincerely. Now I invite you to listen to the audio recording of these phone calls.
1.
Alla called first.
She found out about the anniversary.
And sends greetings to you all.
Advice to the birthday girl:
Rest...
2.
And immediately after Pugacheva Allka
Her friend called, Galkin.
In his heart he could not contain his admiration,
The hero of the day repeated only one thing:
I've seen a lot of girls in my life...
3.
Kirkorov Philip, not sparing words,
Declares his love on the anniversary day:
I don't sleep well at night...
4.
And the Basques are not far behind him.
Today he sings to Olga:
My lovely...
5.
Prime Minister's musicians
Today the secret was revealed to everyone.
That song where the eyes are like diamonds
They dedicated to our Olga:
Two diamonds...
6.
Another man was sobbing.
And Olga is the reason for this:
I love you to tears...
7.
Kirkorov did not calm down.
I went to a tavern and got drunk there.
He called Olga again
And he said into the phone:
I raise my glass...
8.
And Dima Malikov tenderly, in secret,
I sang this line soulfully:
You're alone, you're so...
9.
Piekha Stas was in a hurry somewhere on business.
Let's listen to what he tells us:
I'll give you...
10.
Missing the birthday girl
In cold and snowy Moscow
Sang with longing by Soso Pavliashvili
"Where are you, honey? Where are you?"
A Georgian is waiting for you...
11.
As time went. Kirkorov drank.
The wine did not cool the ardor:
My only one...
12.
And all the men, burning with love,
They repeated, without hiding their admiration:
Ah, what a woman...
13.
And the congratulations continued.
And, all illuminated with happiness,
The culprit on her birthday
I could only hear the words:
I wish you...
14.
And at the end of the concert of stars,
Whose congratulations were heard in the hall,
Allegrova Irina will say a toast
For the birthday girl - let it sound in the finale!
Happy birthday...
Texts of humorous posters - telegrams.
Welcome to the Pentecostal Club! The sixties are preparing for the meeting. Sixties
Yes, it's gold because it glitters! Bald
My years are my wealth. We wish you to become a millionaire! Bill Gates
We will call the autumn of life, like the autumn of the year, golden! Russian Green Party
To find out your truthth age, sum up the numbers indicating it (check with numerologists for the interpretation of the result obtained). Department of Applied Mathematics
Oh, how many wonderful discoveries our granddaughter (or grandson) is preparing for us. Trade Union of Russian Grandparents
Why, if “wise”, is there always a “scarecrow”? Opponents of the writer A. Volkov
Age and wisdom are twins - brothers! Who is more valuable than our grandfather? Loving grandchildren
And the gentleman is quite enough for me... Wife of a full holder of the Order of Glory
Tick-tock walkers. Years fly by.
Life is neither sugar nor honey...
... Maybe the hero of the day will pour it? Group "Balagan Limited"
If you're not sure, don't overtake! /advice from the hero of the day to his younger brother/
If I were a sultan, I wouldn’t live to see the anniversary... Eastern wisdom
Always dance, dance everywhere, until the last days! The motto of the frisky hero of the day
Tolley will still be there, oh - oh - oh! Your new anniversary
For anniversaries and their guests! A new heel repair service center has opened! Shoe factory
And there are no words in the world that express our feelings! Overflowing with feelings
Stop bending over to your boss, it’s time to get serious about your garden! Neighbors in the countryside
Long live the new Russian pensioners! Just new Russians
What makes you think that we are tired of each other? Your favorite job
Today is considered a dress rehearsal. The main performance in five years. Next anniversary
So I waited for the anniversary and signed up for pensioners! Your favorite hero of the day
Hooray! The shelf of our readers has arrived! Dontsova, Dashkova, Polyakova
Well, now can we count on you? Children and grandchildren
Down with planning meetings and reports! Give me fishing and hunting! Friends - pensioners
Work, everything is given to you! But best years I'll keep it for myself. Jubilee
Guests of the hero of the day, do not hesitate to gather around the table more often! Anniversary Sponsors
Work is not a wolf, it is not afraid of pensioners. Humane bosses
The door will always be open for you! Watchman from his favorite job
What is mature age? This is a miracle! Yu. Shevchuk
So what if my temples turned grey! If only the guests could sit longer! Sentimental hero of the day
Don’t get sick, toughen up and don’t give in to illnesses! Health group activists
Did you wish great happiness to the hero of the day? Othello
The wishes of the hero of the day are the law for guests! Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation
Now his star has risen! Planetarium staff
It’s not a shame to be the hero of the day, the trouble is that you can’t invite guests! Experienced guests
Give the hero of the day a foothold - and he will set the table. Archimedes
If the granite of science is no longer too tough, switch to the nectar of art! Hermitage staff
Congratulations are good, but gifts are better! State repository of the Russian Federation
Gentlemen! The 5 years following the anniversary are rounded down! Research Institute of Statistics
Save yourself, who can! Weeds and garden pests
Relaxing is also a science! Research Institute of Balneology
We are not the prosecutor's office, but you can't hide from us either! Your anniversaries
Don't forget to celebrate the anniversary in the old style! Supporters of the Julian calendar
The last one to leave dances well. Rock and roll fans
The hero of the day who celebrates such an anniversary is awarded the rank of general. The general's orders are not discussed. General Staff
All ages are submissive to love, celebrants are doubly submissive. Amur
Be careful! The lights in the eyes of the hero of the day are a fire hazard for the ladies! Fire Department
Guests! Have mercy! I may not live up to my expectations! A vase for flowers
Some of the sayings that touch the soul can be written on cloths that are stretched from one wall of the hall to the other. Some of them should include invitation cards to create the appropriate mood, etc.
A universal technique for decorating a room is to hang it on the walls of the hall. “telegrams” from famous, worldly people, as well as messages with humorous content.
... this hour is in our hands. Own the present. R. Burns
Time does not pass in vain and does not roll by without any impact on our feelings: it does amazing things in the soul. St. Augustine
At no age can we acquire a talent that we lack, but at any age we can correct our mistakes. F. Voltaire
At twenty, feeling reigns, at thirty, talent, at forty, reason. B. Gracian
You can always find enough time if you use it well. I. V. Goethe
Good use of time makes time even more precious. J. J. Rousseau
Regret over the unwisely wasted time that people indulge in does not always help them to use the remainder wisely. J. Labruyère
One today is worth two tomorrow. B. Franklin
Only a very few live for today; most are preparing to live later. D Swift.
To live means to act! A. France
A great man... loud in his deeds. I. Krylov
Doing what you enjoy means being free. F. Voltaire
Blessed is he who has adorned his fleeting life with a series of glorious deeds. A. Tolstoy
If something is worth doing, it is only what is considered impossible. O. Wilde
That's why old people love to give so much good advice that they are no longer capable of setting bad examples. F. La Rochefoucauld
The wise man does not fight with anyone, and therefore no one is angry with him. Lao Tzu
LET THEY WHISPER ABOUT LOVE IN TANYA'S EAR!
QUEEN NAMED...... FROG
I WISH TO DRINK ONLY FINE WINES!
HAVE FUN, TANECHKA! ........ MALVINA
LET YOUR FIGURE BE SLIM!
HELLO HOT FROM THE NORTH! ..... SNOW MAID
I WISH YOU TO SING WITH GUITAR MORE OFTEN!
GOOD COMPANY TO YOU! ....... ROTARU
I WISH NOT TO MEET UNPLANNED LOVE!
HELLO TO YOU MUSICAL FROM..... BULANOVA.
LIVE, TANYUSHA, HAVE FUN AND COOL!
DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD! ............ QUEEN
I WISH LOTS OF MUSIC AND LAUGHTER,
LOVE AND ETERNAL YOUTH! .......... PIEHA
LET THERE ALWAYS BE MONEY TO THE FUCK!
AND CHICKEN LEGS! ............. BABA YAGA
YOU LOOK LIKE A PICTURE TODAY!
I PRESENT THE KEY TO HAPPINESS!..... PINOCOCIO
LET THE WHITE FLUFF FALL TO THE GROUND,
AND YOU BLOW LIKE A ROSE! …. WINNIE THE POOH
BE IN THE FIELD AND FOREST MORE OFTEN!
GOOD HEALTH TO YOU! ......... ALSU
NEVER ALLOW DEPRESSION!
BIG HELLO FROM MOM! .........ORBOX
DON'T GET INTO EMERGENCIES OR SHOOTINGS!
I WISH YOU A LONG LIFE! GROUP.........ARROWS
LET OUR FRIENDSHIP GET STRONGER EVERY YEAR!
ALWAYS BE SO SWEET! …… NATASHA
You might be interested in:
The proposed version of video congratulations is the next version, already the third, in the series we have planned for a variety of occasions and events. IN in this case, the most wonderful reason for congratulations and one of the most suitable for this format is anniversaries and birthdays. This option consists of two different videos and texts, one is offered for pre-retirement and retirement age, and the other is for birthday people who still have everything ahead and are young, full of hopes and plans. So, the essence of entertainment called “A comic video congratulation from the president for the anniversary and birthday” Teleconference with V.V. Putin - 3" the same as in the previous versions: “Teleconference with Putin - 1” and “Teleconference with Putin - 2”, and the content is new.
Script of video congratulations from the president for the anniversary.
Since this teleconference is a continuation of the series, details about the essence of the entertainment, the necessary equipment and tips for conducting it can be found in the announcement of the first version - or in the full version of this scenario. I would like to emphasize that, despite the fact that the idea of congratulations is repeated, questions and video excerpts, i.e. like the president’s answers, completely new, specially selected and invented for specific occasions: anniversaries and birthdays.
1. Comic video greeting for anniversaries “Teleconference with V.V. Putin - 3.”
(IN full version congratulations include: a video clip, a summary of the congratulations, tips for conducting and the text of questions, especially for holding at the anniversary)
5. But we heard that the hero of the day there should have been some kind of large MONETARY GIFT from the management of a certain financial organization, but he’s not there, YOU DON’T KNOW what’s the matter?
- « Ha-ha, the circus, and they just quit, but without their signature the money is not transferred.”...
2. Comic video greeting for young birthday people “Teleconference with V.V. Putin -3”
(The congratulations are similar to the previous one, but the text and video were invented specifically for young birthday people).
Excerpt text for illustration:
On the screen there is a shot where the president is listening, the presenter asks another question.
9. Vladimir Vladimirovich, your relatives are so touched by your attention to (name of the birthday boy) After all, he is, in fact, a simple guy, and not some kind of ELITE.
On the video screen is an excerpt with the words of the president:
- « Do you know what the Russian elite is, it’s a hard worker, a peasant, it’s a person on whose shoulders the whole country rests, has held on for centuries, is holding on now, and will hold on!” .
Text and videos for congratulations on weddings and anniversaries can be downloaded in the full version of the script
To get the full version with musical accompaniment, it is enough to contribute a small amount (400 rubles) to the site development fund. - conditions and details on the AUTHOR'S SCENARIOS page
P.S. Dear users, the document below provides detailed information on how to obtain the full version of this script.
(download by clicking on the document)
Bonus discount for video greetings:
This video greeting partially duplicates the videos of "Teleconference -1" and " , therefore, for those who purchase one of them in addition to this, a bonus discount is provided - 200 rubles. Each option separately (400 rubles), if you order two, then - 600 rubles, a bonus discount is also provided if, at the same time as this teleconference, you purchase the anniversary "(separately costs 300 rubles), and together - 500 rubles, respectively, if you purchase only teleconference - it is enough to contribute 400 rubles to the site fund.
Gifting a gift to the birthday girl can not only be solemn, it can also be used as a playful or entertaining moment. For example, any holiday is greatly enlivened by various congratulations from guests with a scattering of humorous or useful, but presented with a humorous twist, gifts and little things. Despite the fact that the reception is quite common, it invariably pleases both the hero of the occasion and her gathered guests, especially since you can come up with “gifts” for her specific habits, passions or profession.
Sometimes such congratulations with gifts are rather frivolous in nature, but since they are given by very close people, this does not embarrass anyone, but, on the contrary, amuses and gives pleasure. If congratulations with gifts are arranged by colleagues, then the tone is usually more restrained, and the gifts themselves are more practical and stylish.
Collected here comic congratulations - happy anniversary gifts for women various authors (thanks to them for the ideas!), which, if suitable, can be used in full or take them as a basis and come up with your own funny gifts and eyeliners for them, focusing on the age and tastes of a particular birthday girl.
1. Comic congratulations on the anniversary for a woman
"And we have a gift for you!"
This is a fun table chant for an anniversary with the presentation of various gifts. After the host’s words, the guests should shout together:
"And we, and we have a gift for you!"
We are here today for a reason
Come together, friends!
There are jokes and congratulations everywhere,
Birthday wishes.
Just the birthday girl
Let's congratulate you now!
Come on, guests, join in
And scream as much as you can,
As if someone is after you for something
Bitten very hard.
Today Tanya got up early,
So that she doesn't have to rush later.
Start before it's too late
Get yourself in order.
Tanya approaches the white bathtub,
To wash your hair,
And shampoo - well, not a drop.
What to do, how to be here?
Guests in chorus (takes shampoo out of the box).
I'm so tired of dressing up
She began to make her way to the kitchen,
To drink coffee,
Strength to restore.
But yesterday a neighbor came in
And today there is no coffee.
Guests in chorustakes a bag of coffee out of the box).
We know Tanya has a sweet tooth,
She loves sweets.
She didn't eat candy for the day
And I’m already upset.
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” - (handed over sweets).
So Tanya began to cook,
I got the best meat.
What to pepper the dish with?
So as not to upset the guests?
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” - (handed a bag of pepper)
Finally lunch is ready:
One hundred salads, cake and pilaf.
Here are all the dishes on the table,
Only salt mistress, where?
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” - (handed...a bag of salt)
The last guest has left,
And a whole cartload of dishes.
What to do here, how to wash,
Where can I get a sponge?
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” - (they give...a sponge)
Don't take it as an insult
This joke is a congratulations.
Smile, sing songs,
Know that friends are always with you!
(Source: nsportal.ru)
2. Comic congratulations with gifts for a woman from friends.
1. Happy Birthday, 
We wish you all the best.
We give you equipment
And fashionable clothes.
To quickly clean the apartment
Take a wonderful car,
Very easy to use
Our "Roventa" vacuum cleaner.
He will wipe anyone's nose,
Will remove all your chaos.
You will take it gently in your hands,
You'll wave in different directions
Instantly dirt from the entire apartment
If it scatters, there is no dust.
It won't take up much space,
It will fit into any crack.
Saves kilowatt
Doesn't buzz and is lightweight.
Everything in the house will shine,
No place for dust to fly (they give a broom)
2. Here is the device “Just in case”,
In life he is the best assistant,
With him, grief is no problem.
He will always help you.
And the name is sonorous
Enema - scientifically.
It's not difficult to apply
We will attach instructions (give an enema).
Use it every day
And your migraine will go away,
He will remove all the toxins from you
Your body will look slim.
In general, we tell you
He is irreplaceable in life.
For extensive angina
You can gargle
When renovating an apartment
You can spray paint.
Finding ourselves at the dacha with him
You spray the bushes.
And then how crazy
Flowers will bloom everywhere.
I think you're convinced
What kind of miracle are we giving you?
And now through life boldly
The two of you will go with her.
3. Regarding the outfit
Put it on quickly
You'll be a gorgeous woman in it
And Madonna is just a shadow.
Winter panties with cotton wool
Will fit just right
Because in November
The cold is bitter outside.
Put it on quickly -
Attract men to sex.
It's not so difficult to warm up together
And it's impossible to freeze
Putting on hot leggings,
You will survive any cold (they give diapers).
4. And the boots are from Versace
The last squeak is no different.
You carry them all winter
And you won't freeze your feet (they give slippers or socks or shoe covers)
You will highlight your figure in them
I twisted my long leg.
Klavka Slate itself
I would go crazy with envy.
In a headset with panties
It will be hot like the Sahara
You carry gifts
And bless fate.
There will be a reason to drink
We'll get together again
Women's happiness is endless.
We wish you a happy birthday.
(Source: mastervo.ru)
3. Cool congratulations from friends with gifts “Country treats”.
1. If the stomach wants to eat, do it the honor:
You spread pate on bread, there’s nothing tastier (they give a jar of pate).
2. If you like delicious soup, boil some cereals,
Throw in a sardine here, maybe even half it (they give a can of sardines).
3. If you need lunch, there is no problem here:
Your millet will be delicious if you have stew. (they give stew).
4. Pour tea into cups and serve the loaf!
Let the children laugh loudly, since there is condensed milk. (they give condensed milk)
5. If you invite the cream of society to the dacha,
Don't rely on potatoes, open olives as soon as possible (give olives)
6. If you didn’t buy bread, don’t be sad, it’s nonsense!
Open a can of beans, you will always be full! (they give beans)
7. So that the picnic does not become a burden, so that you eat to your heart’s content,
open a can of corn and feed the salad! (give corn)
8. Having offered the guests a snack, the same sandwich:
Put a cucumber on the bread and a couple of sprats from a jar (they give cucumber and sprats)
9. Unsuccessful fishing will be made pleasant,
Fish meatballs in tomato sauce (they give meatballs)
10. If it grew up in a garden bed, then we won’t give it to you,
We'll eat this jar of peas in winter! (they give peas)
11. In addition to the treat, squash caviar!
There are a lot of vitamins, you should always eat it! (they give squash caviar)
12. The sun is hot this summer. Even if there are a lot of berries,
Decorates our picnic, fruits as a gift to you from the south
We present at this moment (give fruit)
13. If you are too lazy to cook, but your stomach is howling,
Porridge with meat will come in handy to curb his ardor! (they give porridge with meat)
14. A useless thing, if you take it alone,
But it will be useful for soup, it needs to be in the house (they give you tomato paste)
(Source: na-bis.com)
4. Congratulations on gifts " Women things"
1. He will frankly show you the beauty of your face and body, and you will see in him what you didn’t want to see in him. (give a mirror)
2. Your iron friends, long-legged, long-armed, hold their hair perfectly, and you look so crowned! ( give hairpins)
3. Everything will be trimmed, trimmed and put in order. - on the big number “five”, the manicure will shine! ( give nail scissors)
4. You won’t find truer girlfriends - and don’t go to a fortune teller - whatever you say or not, everyone really needs them... (they give curlers)
5. Gently removes makeup, gives a light massage - and will help at any time good friend ours is soft... (they give a sponge)
6. Always take them with you so that they are at hand and their work is unnoticeable. And if there is no water nearby, they are so important, these..... (they give you wet wipes)
7. It is many hundreds of years old, but it looks fresh, we hold an irreplaceable object at hand. Like a pure wind, a thin stream... (they give a handkerchief)
8. Like a whole battalion of soldiers, they stand in a box - they will remove unnecessary touches and cosmetic sins (they give you cotton swabs)
9. There’s just so much missing in it: shadows, pencil, tweezers, hairpins, mascara, comb, varnishes, and there’s also all sorts of garbage. A very necessary thing for the housewife... (they give a cosmetic bag)
10. There are plastic and gold, iron, silver and bone - he holds the hair with a strong hand, behind him they are like behind a Chinese wall. He helped every woman at least once - he was so irreplaceable... (rim)
(Such a congratulation can be completed by presenting the crown and awarding the title “Beauty Queen” or another nomination - watch)
5. Congratulations to the birthday girl from colleagues with gifts.
Perhaps you were planning to run away,
But your lot is to continue working! (give soap)
Who gets a can of beer?
Live happily all year! ( give beer)
Eat bananas and coconuts
And expect rewards from fate! ( give banana)
While the boss is “taking the shavings off” us,
Calmly brew a mug of tea! ( give mug)
Receive this tube as a gift,
So that every tooth shines in the sun! (give toothpaste)
Since you got a chocolate bar,
It won’t be bitter for you - it will be sweet! (they give you chocolate)
When you drink cranberry jelly,
Forget about the merry-go-round of the world!
Let the world, as they say, wait!
And you will be healthy all year round (they give jelly)
Although this cream is inedible,
But the smell is simply incomparable! ( give hand cream)
To the one who receives this candle,
You'll have to travel around the world! (give a candle)
To record where the pay went,
You will really need this pen! (give a pen)
We'll have to live with grief,
And forget about the days of the calendar! (they give a calendar)
And great love awaits you
And kisses all year round! (they give a set of sponges)
Do you understand what the meaning of the gift is?
Life will be joyful and bright! (they give markers)
And you are “in the juice”, in the prime of life!
Among your friends you have no equal! (they give you a bag of juice)
You are good at work
And you will be held in high esteem by us all year (they give a horseshoe)
You will walk around with a beautiful hairstyle,
Captivating everyone with a thick, fluffy mane (they give shampoo)
You will be cheerful and energetic,
And therefore the whole year will be great! (give coffee)
(Source: tamada-julia.narod.ru)
6. Photo session of the hero of the day in hats.
This is a very funny one that is more suitable for a home party or a holiday at the dacha, so that the culprit would not be upset because she might ruin her hair (after all, she needs to try on each hat, show it to the guests and, if desired, take a photo in each one as a souvenir)
Eyeliner: The French say that a real woman can make three things out of nothing: a salad, a scandal and a hat. Our (name of the hero of the day) can do much more, she can also arrange a a real holiday for yourself and your guests. Which she will now brilliantly demonstrate to all of us.
Perhaps not everyone present knows that we are in constant collaboration with the great couturier of our time, Zakidon Shlyapnikov, and offer the hero of the day a personal all-season collection of his hats. Hats, mirror, photographer, everything ready? Then let's begin!
First model: sports cap “Champion”(Children's hat with a toe or baseball cap.)
Sport will relieve us of stress
And it will add health to everyone.
To stay young
You need to play sports.
Summer, autumn, winter
Take up race walking.
To move the bus,
You need to put on a hat.
Second model: swimming cap “Dive” (Rubber bathing cap or shower cap)
To always be healthy,
So as not to cough, not to sniffle,
You can run for a long time in the park
Or hang on the horizontal bar.
Since water is given for life,
Then rather into the river, into the shower.
Just try on the hat,
After all, it suits the person too.
Third model: housewife’s hat “Clean” (From a sponge or washcloth)
If in household chores suddenly
It turns out that two legs and two arms are not enough,
And everything she needs to wipe off.
Fourth model: hat for work “All Visible” (An option for the teacher is to sew glasses on four sides of the hat.)
You need to have a hat like this
To see everything, to watch everyone,
So that work will soon be in full swing,
So that not a second for laziness, yawning.
( Option for teachers.So that the student cannot cheat,
“Lick everything from someone else’s notebook”
He wouldn't be able to pull out the spur...
Such a hat will fit).
Fifth model: miracle hat “In the garden, in the vegetable garden” (Old straw hat)
The sun beats down mercilessly at the dacha
Is there someone standing there on all fours?
In the hottest, sultriest time
Save your crown from harmful rays!
Avoid overheating -
Put on your miracle hat!
Sixth model: “Legend” hat for the weekend (Any original hat)
If, (name of the hero of the day), suddenly
A friend will invite you for the weekend,
Don't think, don't guess,
Accept the offer!
Be gentle, be cheerful,
Just don't forget your hat!
Weekend hat -
Not a hat, but a legend!
Model seven: eco-hat for environmentalists (Spotted khaki Panama)
We know you love animals:
Squirrels, hares, wood grouse,
You take care of your native river
And you don’t kill the fish in it.
So that the trees turn green,
So that the birds sing songs,
Join the Greenpeace society
To us, the “greens”, such -
Blues are no match for us!
Eighth model: “Visa for a cruise” hat (Old men's hat)
This hat is not worn on the head, but in the hands.
If you want not to wither,
See the pyramids
Collect capital
And you'll go to the station.
You can easily get a visa
And go on cruises!
And finally, the ninth model: the invisibility hat (Hat big size, creeping over the eyes, or a knitted hat).
The grandiose model was made in a single copy, has no analogues in the world and has the supernatural property of invisibility. Let's try it on...wonderful! If you try in vain, you won’t see anything anyway!
This collection of hats is designed for all occasions and will help you feel a real woman in any situation
7. Comic congratulations for a woman with gifts from close friends.
Hello, dear little woman, you are such a pretty girl. 
Although no longer 25, the years are ticking away, the mother is vigorous,
We are sending you, my dear, a package for your birthday.
A little here, a little here, take it and don’t blame me.
If there is no CANDLE in the house, here it is when the light goes out.
MATCHES and a BAR OF SOAP to wash your face,
But a PACK OF CIGARETTES, maybe you’ll light it, maybe not.
Life here, you'll understand, you'll smoke and drink here.
Here is PIVASIK for order after the bath, or for tiredness.
We all blow it ourselves and recommend it to you.
Here's 3 pieces of SALA, eat it or cook it,
Stretch it out until summer, now it’s a gem.
Don't get fat, better feed your guests.
Let your stupid friends eat
If they don’t feel sorry for their figure.
A BOTTLE OF HOLY WATER, drops in your mouth before eating.
Don’t give it to anyone, say: “It’s not enough for yourself.”
If your back suddenly hurts, rub it and hold it.
If you get sick, lie down, period, there is a grandson and a son-in-law and a daughter.
Let them wash and wash themselves, and don’t bother mom.
As soon as you receive the parcel, quickly take the bottle,
And quickly write an answer, what you liked and what you didn’t.
If there is no money in the house, tie a BROOM to your leg,
You need to wave a broom and collect money in a pile.
That's all, goodbye girl, you are like a sister to us, well,
Pour vodka into glasses and invite guests to drink.
