It often happens when the feelings of lovers cool down over time and cease to play an important role in life. What to do if feelings have cooled? After all, at a certain point, even couples living in peace, harmony and understanding come to a period when it becomes a little boring.
What to do if feelings have cooled?
Firstly, there is no need to make scandals, be offended by each other, ignore each other in any situation, avoid conversations or go off to the side in search of thrills.
On the contrary, you need to try to renew the relationship, warm up those feelings that have cooled down, dispel, change the situation that has been blinking before your eyes for so many years.
If a woman asks the question “What to do if your feelings have cooled?”, it means that she cares about her loved one and is trying to fix it.
6 tips for those whose feelings have cooled
In order to return cooled feelings you need:
Try to remember what exactly heated up the situation between you, remember everything conflict situations. What did it all lead to and where did it all begin? Understand the reasons for your quarrels and conflicts.
After all, scandals, quarrels, conflicts, negative emotions- this is the first thing that is the cause of cold feelings in distant life. After all, negative communication has two continuations - either a quarrel causes passion, or a quarrel alienates each other;
Try to understand yourself and your loved one. Evaluate yourself, your character, find the flaws and good character traits in yourself. Find the same thing in your spouse.
If your feelings have cooled, try to understand what exactly you like about your spouse and what you cannot stand in his actions and character. Ask him to do the same. After analyzing yourself and your spouse, think about what you can change from the list you receive;
Remember all the good times you had with your spouse. It was those moments when you and he just felt good being together, and nothing more. Good memories will bring you back towards your spouse and help some feelings return;
Call your loved one directly and straight Talk. It should take place in an atmosphere of complete calm and peacefulness. Do not express a negative attitude towards the actions of your significant other, do not make claims or reproaches. It is quite possible that the distance in your relationship arose for reasons related neither to your loved one nor to you. It is possible that your loved one has problems at work or is being pestered by relatives. The created psycho-emotional mood most likely affects your relationship.
Get closer. Spend some time alone, go out of town, go on a hike together in nature or another quiet place. Forget for a while all your everyday problems and get rid of everything that annoys you. Enjoy being with each other.
Also change something about yourself. Be around more often, sit together, watch a movie, go out into nature, change everyday life for wild weekends. If your feelings have cooled, try to diversify your life.
How to renew a relationship?
Over time, family or love relationship tend to be “covered with a slight patina of everyday life.” You no longer kiss each other while watching a good old melodrama, you won’t get flowers from him for no reason, and there’s no talk of surprises at all.
Bouquets of flowers, kisses while watching your favorite melodrama, surprises disappear. How to renew a relationship using simple means? The answer is quite elementary.
Your significant other deserves your constant attention. Most couples are simply bogged down in their everyday routine, forgetting over time to even ask about how her or his day went, what’s new at work (at training, studying, etc.).
But romantic relationship They are based on mutual interest. Even if you are unbearably exhausted by a working day, and your only goal is to fall into bed as quickly as possible, do not deprive your significant other of your attention - even half an hour will be enough for this.
A gentle touch, a romantic kiss will give you two unforgettable moments of joy and satisfaction and help renew your relationship;
Do not forget about the interests of your beloved (lover), trying to diversify your life romantic actions. Let's say you planned to go to the theater or watch a new comedy, and he has already bought a ticket to the final match of the season - make concessions to him.
Reschedule your visit to a performance or film screening to another day. Just tell him about your plans and together reschedule the cultural trip to another date convenient for the two of you;
Take care of your other half. Simply caring for each other can make your relationship very romantic. A cup of aromatic coffee in bed, prepared before waking up, a bath with aromatic coffee - and tenderness in your relationship can be guaranteed.
From attention to concrete actions
Let's move on to a more specific plan to "renew the relationship." Organize romantic dinner, for no reason, just like that. Such actions are very romantic. Return from work a little earlier, cook his favorite dishes, decorate the apartment. Be sure to buy candles and fill your glasses with sparkling wine. This turn of events will greatly surprise your lover;
We write love notes like in childhood. Leave romantic messages for each other on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, or nightstand. Just draw a heart or write a declaration of love. Try to correspond, correspond, each time indicating why you love each other.
How to renew a relationship after many years of marriage?
The lack of new impressions and sensations turns a happy life together into an everyday routine. How to avoid this phenomenon and how to renew relationships?
The correct answer to this question, and mainly the ability to answer it correctly, can save any marriage from an inevitable split.
To begin with, remember the times when you just met - you will agree, then there were more smiles, jokes and other pleasant and interesting little things.
In other words, then, in order to please your partner, you tried to be interesting and original. In order for your relationship to last long and happily in the future, nothing prevents you from repeating your past experience and going back to the beginning;
Change your habitual and disgusting home environment– to renew your relationship, add some zest to your relationship. Such changes can be of different scales. You can simply rearrange the furniture in the apartment, start renovations, buy new things, or move altogether - the surrounding life is also of great importance;
Try changing your image. For example, start with your hair - visit a salon and get a model haircut. You can change your hair color, do make-up. Come up with an individual clothing style for yourself. If until now sports or classics were your everything, try it on yourself romantic image. Take the risk of wearing something you’ve always dreamed of but never dared to wear.
Joint goals, leisure and a little psychology
Nothing brings people together like doing something together. Draw yourself a plan or set a long-term goal, the implementation of which will require joint efforts. You can, for example, learn to play tennis and from now on visit the court together. Another option is to start saving money with your husband to buy a new house, car, etc.;
Analyze the current state of affairs in your relationship, your behavior, actions. The same scenario for every day, the same holidays, shopping trips and other “everyday routine” drags you into a gray routine. To renew your relationship, add something long forgotten to your daily routine.
For example, go with your significant other to a restaurant, have a candlelit dinner in your apartment, dance somewhere like in your youth. Take advantage of some original approaches: you can attend a joint cooking class, take part in a bowling tournament, or go to a couples fitness class. Cheer on your local (or favorite) football team - it will awaken you former passion;
In the end, just have a heart-to-heart talk with him, sometimes even this is quite enough. Share your thoughts, doubts, fears, discuss the situation together and decide on further actions.
The easiest way to return the feelings that once made you choose this particular person as your life partner is to go back to the past. Your memories and feelings will help you with this. What you experienced when he first took you by the hand, invited you on a date, kissed you - all these feelings and circumstances serve as so-called psychological “anchors”.
These could be tunes that you both loved, restaurants or public gardens where your first dates took place. Don’t set yourself the task of resurrecting everything, try to observe what feelings you are experiencing now in the same circumstances. While looking through photos of your first new year or vacation together, stay together, tell each other about your feelings and think about what you both miss.
Secret 2. Accept each other completely
With all the shortcomings and annoying habits. We know that there are no people without disadvantages. At first we don’t notice them, because falling in love blinds us. But everyday life gradually opens our eyes and turns sweet features into the horrors of living together. Many things no longer cause waves of tenderness, and some things become more and more difficult to put up with over time.
At first we see only the good and love for it. However, those relationships that cannot be destroyed also develop happily because in them we know about the bad and accept it. How to do it? First, talk about it. Do not offend your partner, explain that you value his feelings, are grateful for them, but there are also things that can be changed for the better. This will allow him to show his love without causing discontent. The more compromises you find, the less irritation will remain in your couple. What to fight and what to ignore - you must resolve these issues together, without emotions and mutual accusations.
Secret 3. Create something new
Walking into the past may not be enough. After all, the evening of memories will end, and you will have to return to everyday life. Everyday life takes away strength, and feelings fade. Years after meeting each other, the feeling of novelty that was so exciting and captivating at the beginning begins to be missed. In addition to memories of the past, you can come up with new traditions for your couple, creating pleasant events for both of you. the easiest way is to stay at home, in best case scenario you download the movie and watch it sitting next to you.
But this will not resurrect the passion and those emotions that you want to experience again. Undoubtedly, any attempts to refresh the relationship, even perhaps not the most successful ones, are better than inaction. But it’s more important to try to understand what you can give each other here and now. The experience of breakups teaches us to appreciate what we have lost, and this is not just passion. After divorces ex-spouses More often they regret such simple things as communication, care, ordinary human warmth. Try to understand what in your partner you would be sad without - this is what can become a solid basis for a relationship of a new order. Stronger, more serious and stable.
Secret 4. Realize the changes in yourself
Longing for past feelings for a long time, we remember ourselves as the people we were. Although in reality the dissatisfaction concerns today. It is not always possible to immediately understand how people in a couple have changed, but the important thing is that it was the relationship that made them different. If you had another husband, you would not be the same as you are now. Growing up and wisdom is a necessary stage for full life, otherwise we would all remain naive and infantile boys and girls. Remember that your luggage is partly the merit of those who are nearby.
Secret 5. Miss each other
How long have you been bored? We looked forward to seeing each other, just like we did for the first time, and shuddered at phone call. IN modern world it’s difficult: the Internet and a bunch of useful gadgets create the illusion of full communication and presence. But real separation can still be arranged. At least agree that you will not bother each other and disturb your partner for some time. Talk to each other only when you actually have something to say. Stay a little further away from each other.
Together with the channel’s experts, we’ll figure out what to do if a relationship is going through a crisis.
The human psyche adapts over time to any events and emotions. Therefore, over time, love and passion become more familiar, and if they are fueled by nothing, the feelings may fade away. And then living together will become quite dull and joyless. You don’t want to part with your loved one, but you’re not ready to put up with the cooling that has occurred, which means it’s time to start reviving old emotions.
Why do feelings pass
Don't want to lose your chance happy life, losing the love that brought joy, putting up with the fact that even if he doesn’t go anywhere, but is increasingly withdrawn into himself and moves away, it’s time to prepare for changes in his life. Otherwise, without reciprocity, passion, love, life will turn into a painful pastime, because you are unlikely to accept it calmly and continue to live as if nothing had happened. Everyone wants love and passion, warmth and care, to see the eyes of a loved one burning with love and to feel his love and admiration.
Feelings tend to become less strong in any situation, even if people live in harmony, do not try to correct others, or impose their own rules and demands. Due to the features human psyche, physiology, the body tries to save its strength for the sake of survival. When people fall in love and start living together, after some time, as soon as they get to know each other better, the passion goes away, otherwise their psyche simply cannot withstand such intensity as at the very beginning of the relationship.
And at this moment, many habits that at first did not cause any emotions and could even touch you, because the desire to be close overshadowed everything, begin to irritate. And if you can’t cope with yourself, don’t change your attitude towards them, stop reacting too negatively, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to maintain or bring your feelings back. In a relationship where negativity predominates rather than mutual respect, love, support and understanding, this is impossible.
Keep your relationship warm
To preserve or return the feelings of your beloved guy or man, your relationship should not be filled with indifference, habit and fatigue, but with warmth that warms both, helps to overcome life’s difficulties, solve assigned tasks, and achieve goals. They should be comfortable for both. They must stop being a battlefield where everyone dreams of defeating the other and turning him into that ideal person for himself who does and does everything his partner wants. It is impossible to change a person when he himself does not want it.
Love a man for who he is
Everyone has their own characteristics, unique traits, they may be incomprehensible to others, but this does not mean that they are bad. loving person accepts his partner with them because they are an integral part of him. He recognizes the right of the chosen one to have his own view of what is happening, his habits, his dreams, desires and way of behavior. Doesn't criticize, doesn't mock, doesn't compare with others. If you did this, even if not on purpose, it’s time to stop, abruptly and now. It’s difficult, habits are a strong thing, but there’s no other way. So control yourself if you want to again give him an example of someone successful, so that he also tries to become the same.
Some of his habits may be puzzling, but think about whether they have such a strong influence on your life. Is it really worth risking relationships and killing the feelings that still remain because of them? When a woman tries to get rid of what irritates her in her chosen one with the help of claims, insults, demands, reproaches, it is not surprising that he perceives this as aggression, non-acceptance. This fight is obviously losing for both sides, even if someone gives in, it is unlikely to make him happy, and he will be able to maintain love. By destroying the individuality of the other through constant criticism, the chosen one risks exceeding the number of good memories and moments that connect them, and finally destroying the last chance to get everything back.
If you feel like you want to lash out again at the socks scattered around the house or the garbage that hasn’t been taken out, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s important for you that the atmosphere of love reigns in the house again, and not to force him to clean up after himself.
If you don’t hate a man, you can’t call your boyfriend a tyrant or a bad person, think about whether it’s worth risking what you have, is he really that terrible? If not, then your love has not faded away yet, it has only died down a little and should be awakened. And believe me, these efforts will not be in vain! Well, let's try to return the feelings of our beloved man?
The most effective ways
Say no to insults and suspicions
It is impossible to revive the former feelings of a beloved man in an atmosphere of mistrust, resentment, dissatisfaction and suspicion. Eliminate them from your communication and behavior, although this is not easy. It will not be possible to quickly change the situation that has developed over the past years; most likely, the problems, grievances, misunderstandings, claims, unspoken and unheard reproaches, requests and wishes that have accumulated over the years have already managed to cause harm, overshadowing the memories of your first meeting, the period of courtship. So, find a way to remember them.
A pleasant evening of memories
Have an evening of memories or discuss them over dinner instead of another conversation about problems and troubles. Let something urgently need to be done, find a moment when you don’t have to talk about what you need, talk about something pleasant, about a first date.
More time with the man you love
Since the cooling was preceded by unpleasant events, memories, bitter words spoken in the heat of a quarrel, which inflicted their own wounds, many of them, most likely, had not yet healed, otherwise he would not have become indifferent, it will be necessary to speed up the process of their healing. And this can be done through a pleasant time together.
Rejoice together
Try to laugh together as often as possible. Find topics or memories that will make you both smile, or better yet, have a good laugh. Watch together a comedy, a humorous program, cartoons, funny videos on the Internet. Nothing heals like laughter.
Go back to the beginning of the relationship
Choose a place for your date that is the same or very similar to where you first met. And go to it as if you had just met. And do this more often. You don’t have to go on a date to a restaurant, take a walk in the park, go to a museum, or walk along the streets of the evening city.
Let pleasant memories unite you again, which will displace the grievances and disappointments that have accumulated for both. But don’t rush things, don’t expect drastic changes. It is unlikely that it will change quickly. Once feelings have faded, reviving them is not easy and will take a lot of time. Therefore, be patient and prepare to calmly accept his surprise at the changes in your behavior until he believes that your attitude towards him has changed for the better.
Embrace unpredictability
The variety of your usual communication will also help to return cooled feelings. Bring more unpredictability into life, activities that are interesting to both of you, so that he will enjoy spending more time alone with you again.
What are the complaints against him?
Be sure to deal with your grievances and claims against him, which definitely sit somewhere deep in your soul. Free yourself from accumulated grievances and disappointments in order to do everything with your soul, so that your eyes reflect the love you feel for him and the desire to improve your relationship.
How did you offend him?
Think about how you could have offended him. This is necessary so that you don’t react like that again. And then, as soon as everything gets better, you will relax again, and since he remained the same person, he will continue to do what caused you criticism and resentment, and was the reason for quarrels. And all your efforts will go to waste. Because, having decided that you are now happy with what he does and accept him for who he is, no longer demanding what he cannot and does not want to give, he will be severely disappointed, hearing again the same complaints as earlier. And he won't believe you anymore.
Don't give up
If we are talking about saving the family, do not give up if you decide to rekindle love. Now you are responsible not only for yourself, but also for your children, for whom it is very important when their mom and dad live in perfect harmony, it gives them confidence and helps them feel safe. If your husband is still cold, have a heart-to-heart talk with him, without reproaches or complaints, try together to find something that will help bring back feelings and love.
When feelings fade, you cannot lose heart and give up. If you decide that you want to return your feelings, then try to do everything in your power to make this happen. It doesn’t matter whether it works out or not, it’s important that you know that you didn’t retreat or resign yourself, but showed willpower and fought for your happiness. If all else fails, a meeting awaits you ahead of you with someone with whom your feelings will no longer fade away. If you managed to return love, rejoice, you were able to cope with a truly difficult task.
