Why are girls always born into families? Gender of the child - testing a new theory

There is more than one theory that explains this phenomenon. There are several of them. The first is that a girl is born so that a man can learn to understand the opposite sex.

The second theory includes several points that complement each other:

• When the mother is not feminine enough, an imbalance of energies of different sexes occurs in the house. The appearance of a girl regulates this balance.
• The state of femininity must be regulated when raising our own kind. Mothers learn from their daughters, and daughters from their mothers.
• Father, without male support, must be so courageous that the energy of the mother and daughters does not exceed his energy.

It turns out that girls are born in order to make up for what is missing in the family. feminine energy necessary for the balance of masculine and feminine. The same can be said about the birth of boys.

Scientists' opinion

Researchers have recorded a curious phenomenon. If some kind of cataclysm or political event occurs in a certain area, within a year after it there are much fewer boys than girls. For example, this was observed in the USA after September 11 and in Germany after the fall of the Berlin Wall. These events led to changes in the economy, which became stressful for many women.

It is estimated that in 75% of cases, a woman who has experienced stress gives birth to a girl.

According to scientists, factors influencing the appearance of girls can be both external and family events . For example, loss loved one. Or even a banal move.

As a result of the experiments, it was found that those women whose levels of stress hormones were higher gave birth to girls. In particular, the hormone cortisol played a major role here. Why this happens is still unknown to scientists.

Additional research that is still underway in this area will help confirm or refute the opinion of scientists and psychologists on this matter. Who knows, maybe we will learn to program the gender of the future baby?

People try to plan gender, follow diets, calculate the required periods using tablets, and then they may be disappointed that instead of a son, there is “just” a daughter. Our expectations of the child's gender create additional stress on both him and the space.

One of my friends really wanted a girl, she really really wanted a girl. She already had a boy. This was her fixed idea, and she could not get pregnant. Whole year passed in attempts, she was already getting ready to see the doctor. And then I jokingly suggested to her that the boy’s soul might come to her.

At first she was very reluctant and opposed to the idea. What a boy, I need a girl! And I suggested that she think about the fact that she has boys on top of her. And either boys or no one at all. Well, you never know, suddenly this is the plan for her. She thought about it. A month later, it flashed into the conversation - yes, I still want another child, even if it’s a boy. In the same cycle she became pregnant. Guess who?

It was as if he was waiting for his mother to be ready to meet him, for her to come to terms with it and stop chasing images in her head. And as soon as the acceptance happened, he came.

The mechanisms for issuing a child of one gender or another are unknown to us. This is not an automaton whose algorithm can be calculated and manipulated. We are trying to gather some kind of research base for this, creating a lot of myths. From what I have personally heard (and which makes me laugh at times):

• To conceive a boy, in ancient times men put an ax under the pillow and at the decisive moment they frightened their wife with it (the thought immediately arises - if you give birth to a daughter, I will kill you!)
• To conceive a girl, the father needs to engage in extreme sports, jump with a parachute, they say adrenaline kills “boyish” sperm
• To conceive a boy, you need to eat meat. Lots of meat (that's probably why I have three sons)
• If a man loves more, a boy is born, if a woman, then a girl is born (I immediately want to remember the scriptures, where almost all Holy women have only sons. Probably, they did not know how to love at all)
• If the child’s hair is in the back corner, the next one will be a boy, and if it’s straight, then it’s a girl (our eldest has a corner, the middle one has a straight corner, but not a single girl has been noticed :))
• A cucumber belly is a boy, a round belly is a girl (I didn’t have any of them :))
• If you become ugly, you are expecting a girl, if you become beautiful, you are expecting a boy (for me, all pregnant women are beautiful)
• Boys are born where the weak masculine energy, and girls are where the weak female (although there is also the opposite statement - who is right?)
• You need to calculate using a table - Chinese or Japanese (then my eldest would be a girl for sure, the middle and youngest would be half)
• Boys are given for merit, and girls are given for sins (here they took the Vedic concept and perverted it into the most terrible form)

And so on. Many absurd superstitions and beliefs have been invented. And all in order to get not just a child, but a child of the gender we need. Why do we need such a floor? Because we initially have expectations from the child and everything connected with him. A son is a continuation of the family, a daughter is so that no one abandons her in old age. Or any other templates and options.

If you have a point about the gender of the child, then ask - why son? Why daughter? For what? I tried one, want to try another? Where is the concern for the child’s happiness and love? Or do you need it to be like everyone else? To have someone to play cars with on the remote control? To have someone to dress in princess dresses? Or…? And it's all? Are there so much noise and worry over such little things? But they really are small things compared to the life and fate of a child.

In Asia, especially in China and even India, there is a boom in abortions after ultrasound. They see a child of the wrong gender and have an abortion. Not wanting to feed the girls. Not wanting to waste the only chance to have a child “in vain.” This is not just stupidity, this is a real crime against the soul that has already come. So this mania is international, not just ours.

To be completely honest, I will say that in Vedic society there was also planning for the gender of the child. In a lighter form. It was believed that boys represented the piety of the family, and girls carried with them the practice of old sins. Boys accumulated karma, and girls worked it off. Therefore, when a daughter was born, a purge usually began, and life became more difficult. But with the boys, on the contrary, everything grew and turned out better. Boys continued the family line and traditions, worshiped their ancestors, while girls went to their husband’s family forever.

Therefore, many wanted to have sons - and more. And there were rules for conceiving boys or girls. This happened on certain days of the female cycle (girls on odd days, boys on even days). But there are also many exceptions. This approach requires enormous piety so that conception, as in former times, happens once, on the exact date chosen by the parents. But even then, there was still the possibility of having a child of a different gender - if karma dictated so. How should we do it and why?

Now everyone wants sons too. But it’s no longer clear why. We don’t make offerings to our ancestors, and if anyone does this, it’s only women. Nowadays no one has good karma, so both boys and girls often suffer difficulties and purification. Sons are increasingly abandoning their parents, and daughters are dragging both their own and their husband’s parents to the very end. We also don’t really have any traditions to continue anything. And it turns out that it certainly doesn’t matter to us who we give birth to. There is no difference in this century. It is unknown what is better and what is worse. Just in different ways.

But we are again trying to control something about which we understand nothing, which does not depend on us and where we should not interfere. At all. Our attachment to the idea of ​​having a child of the gender we want gives rise to many problems. The attitude towards a child should not depend on the body in which the soul came to us. How many times have I seen these girls who were expected to be boys (I’m the same). How difficult it is for them to then accept their female body, how much hatred they have for everything feminine, rejection, fear. The same thing can happen with boys. Boys who would like to be girls. Out of love for their parents, they can also become softer and more flexible, and give up their masculine power. But who will benefit from this?

Parents want to play with different types children. If there is a son, but no daughter, then mothers sometimes dress little boys in dresses and attach bows. For what? And why dress little girls like boys? Play with dolls, if you want to buy something, buy it and give it to your friends. Why does a child need to attach his own labels?

Children are a gift from God. A real gift that can only be accepted or rejected.

How do we accept gifts? Whatever is inside, thank you. So, for some reason I need this. And this “why” can be different for everyone.

Some people are taught by their sons to accept and respect men, others they push with their “yang” energy and force them to live. Girls teach some how to be a woman, some discover creativity, some are taught to simply love, to love with all their hearts. Sometimes a child of a certain gender helps you solve your parent-child problems. Sometimes it takes you to another level of understanding of life. Sometimes God saves us from repeating the most difficult scenarios of our kind by bringing children of a different sex, where these scenarios will be softer. And sometimes, on the contrary, it is precisely those whose ancestral ties it is time to treat that come.

In any case, everything is not accidental. Nothing happens by chance. If your son comes, it means that there are some tasks for you related to him. If your daughter comes, she also brings her tasks to you. But we don’t want to solve these problems; we like others better. Others seem more interesting and easier. Just like those who live in the south like mid-latitudes for their balance, and mid-latitudes dream of the hot south.

One of my friends really wanted a son. She had two daughters. She really didn't want the scenario to repeat itself. And then she decided to do everything for sure. There is an expensive medical procedure like IVF, where only embryos of one sex are selected. After this procedure she became pregnant. Son. She was very, very happy. But apparently she was not destined to have a son, since the child inexplicably died in childbirth.

There is another story. Ancient, demonstrative.

In ancient times, there lived one emperor, Akbar, who was known for his qualities and virtue, also dreamed of a son. But nothing happened, only daughters were born. And the emperor was in grief and sadness. One astrologer told him that under no circumstances should he have a son, a son would ruin his life. But the emperor was blind to his desire. He did everything possible so that his son would come to him, pray, and collect blessings. And the son still came. But it happened exactly as they said. He suffered from his own son, who destroyed the entire empire and staged a rebellion against his own father. And subsequently he was overthrown by his own son.

Do you really care what gender the child is? This is again the concept of “having a child” - an expanded version of it is “having a child of the right gender.” Or do you still want to become a mother again?

There is no good-bad, right-wrong here. Here God gives you a child - and you accept. The same as they gave. The gender they gave you. And thank you sincerely. Learn to give thanks. Go through your lessons, open up and develop in what you already have.

In this place, society will “help” you with its stereotypes. If you have a girl, you need a boy, if you have a boy, you need a girl. And if you have two children of different sexes, then why a third pregnancy? Don't be offended by them, they really don't know what they are saying.

When they tell me that I’m poor and unhappy, that I’ve given birth to nothing but men and now I’m suffering, that I need a girl and there’s no life without her, that God forbid I’ll ever have a boy again, I smile inside. Now I'm smiling. When I learned to get out of social norms and trust God.

I also smile because I know how cool the boys are who bring me flowers in the morning, kiss my hand, love me very much, care for me and protect me. Boys who call me princess. For whom I am the most beautiful and most beloved in the world.

And next to them I want more boys, boys, boys, because they are a great happiness for me, as for a mother. I already know what to do with boys, I know how to handle them, in our house everything is done for boys and for boys. Both the fourth and the fifth boy will be very useful for me.

Of course, girls are probably great too. I’m still more of a theoretician when communicating with them (I’m practicing on my inner girl). I don't know if I can become a good mother for my daughter. Will I be able to joyfully share with her the attention of all my knights? Will I be able to overcome the scenario? female relationship mothers and daughters of my kind. Will I be able to protect her and save her? Maybe God is saving me now by giving me sons. Saves me and her. So that we are both ready for the meeting - if it happens.

And if this doesn’t happen, and I never have a girl, it’s not a tragedy. Each of my sons will, I hope, have a wife. And I will be ready to accept them as my daughters. With love. What I myself once lacked. To become for them not just a mother-in-law, but a loving second mother. Loving with all my heart. So I will definitely have girls - a little later.

For me, there is always the option of adoption, which I often think about. Maybe this is how the girl should come to me? To play with princess bow dolls and at the same time completely heal the trauma of your childhood orphanhood? I don't know God's plans for me and our family. But I trust Him.

He knows exactly what I need, when, how much and how. I know that God is wiser than stereotypes and rules - he knows who, to whom and how much to give. Whoever gives - all are mine. I will accept everyone with love.

I will open my heart to everyone. I will try to give everyone the maximum. And therefore I will be happy in any case, even if I have ten sons and not a single daughter. So it's necessary. Why and why is not for me to decide.

A child is a gift. Surprise. One hundred percent surprise in the package. You carry the box for nine months and then open it. And there is a miracle. A miracle that could camouflage and hide on an ultrasound. But in any case, a miracle is the most necessary and most important. Exactly what you need.

One man once shared with me that he desperately wanted a son. Was obsessed. When I found out that my wife was pregnant with my daughter, I almost got a divorce. He got on her nerves, tormented her. And then she was born. Girl Anechka with huge eyes. It so happened that he was the first to take her in his arms. Absolutely by accident. His wife gave birth so quickly that he did not have time to leave the hospital. And they brought it out to dad. He told how he, a forty-year-old man, stood in the corridor and sobbed, watching her look at him. What space is in her eyes. And how could he not want her so much? And how happy he is now that his wife has forgiven him, that his daughter is with them, how this has all changed his callous heart.

Who cares what we deserve. The child has arrived - welcome him with open arms. And love him for who he is. That's all.

What is it like to have only daughters or only sons? And why nature cannot be outsmarted.
You are expecting a child. Along with the joy over the upcoming addition to the family, tension also grows: who will be born - a boy or a girl?
Previously, this remained a secret until the birth. Today, it is often possible to accurately determine the gender of the unborn child with an ultrasound examination. True, some married couples ask the doctor not to tell who they will have, but this does not mean that the sex of the child is indifferent to them.
Brother is the best friend in the game
As a rule, most married couples want someone specific - a girl or a boy. Most often, a wife dreams of a daughter, and a husband dreams of a son, subconsciously wanting in a child to relive his own childhood.
It is believed that for complete happiness it is better to have two children: a boy and a girl. And it’s more interesting to raise offspring of different sexes. If only sons or only daughters are born in a family, parents are often disappointed. Although they truly love their children, it is difficult for them to give up the dream of having children of both sexes.
Only boys or only girls - this determines the atmosphere in the children's room. Observations by psychologists show that brothers stick together more often than sisters and quarrel less often. If boys have a brother, their jealousy usually does not go beyond what is acceptable. Girls behave more capriciously and compete with each other more. Parents who have only sons or only daughters should ensure that their offspring are introduced to children of the opposite sex as early as possible. This will eliminate communication problems in the future.
A widespread misconception: if only sons or only daughters are born, the reason is in the mother. In fact, it is the father who determines who will be born - a boy or a girl. The gender of a person depends on the set of chromosomes: an X chromosome plus a Y chromosome means male, two X chromosomes mean female. An egg always contains an X chromosome; sperm can contain both X and Y chromosomes. Everything is decided during fertilization: if the sperm with the X chromosome “wins the race,” there will be a girl, if the sperm with the Y chromosome comes first “to the finish line,” it will be a boy.
And the moon has nothing to do with it!
People have always dreamed of being able to influence the gender of their unborn child. Many of the most ancient
representations are still alive. For example, that the movement of the moon and constellations plays a certain role. Today it is reliably known: sperm with the Y chromosome are fast but short-lived, and those with the X chromosome are slow but persistent. As for the idea that conceiving on the day of ovulation increases the likelihood of having a boy, then, as recent research shows, this is just a myth.
The fact that sperm die in an acidic environment is a scientifically established fact, but it has given rise to an unfounded assumption that by washing the vagina with a weak solution of acetic acid, one can eliminate the Y chromosomes and thereby ensure the birth of a girl. But this is as doubtful as special diet to give birth to a child of the desired gender: more salt, less potassium and magnesium - there will be a boy, if on the contrary - a girl. But who will be born is still decided by nature...
Hoping for daughters-in-law
“When our second son was born, we were very happy that Igor now had a brother and playmate,” says Victor. His wife Rimma adds: “And when, during my third pregnancy, I found out that, apparently, this time there would be a boy, I was very upset at first: I would never, never
you won’t have to dress up your daughter when going with her to visit or go for a walk...”
Until now, no, no, and she gets sad when a friend gives birth to a girl. Rimma believes that girls are more attached to their parents than boys: “After all, boys are completely different. In games they are louder, they frolic more unbridled, they make more noise, they do not have the same need for tenderness as girls. Now my husband and I are already dreaming of... daughters-in-law. This is the only way we can “get” daughters!”
A touch of sadness
“A boy or a girl - we never thought about that. We didn't even want to know the results of the ultrasound. When our second child was born, the worries associated with childbirth overshadowed everything so much that at first I didn’t even ask who the stork “brought” to us,” says mother of three girls, Nina. “I thought two daughters was just wonderful. And I was very annoyed when friends asked if I was upset because I had a girl again.” Nina’s husband felt a slight sadness only after the birth of her third daughter: “Apparently, I am not destined to relive my boyish childhood. It's a pity". His wife, too, had internally given up on the dream of a son: “Three children are enough. And then: after two sisters, the boy is “the last and long-awaited”? It would be difficult not to spoil him. And it would have been difficult for him: not everyone can handle the high expectations associated with the birth of a son...”
Joy in the "men's club"
When they were expecting their first child, Alexei dreamed of a successor to the family, and his wife dreamed of a daughter. A boy was born. During the second pregnancy, the spouses' desires changed. This time my husband was unlucky: it was a boy again.
The same thing happened the third time. Alexey still regrets a little that he doesn’t have a daughter, although he is well aware of the advantages of having only male offspring: “Our “men’s club” has one big advantage: when we do something, we don’t have to think about it Both boys and girls liked it."
His wife Lena is most irritated in this situation by caustic remarks like: “We tried so many times - and not a single girl?” Well, what is your answer? Well, the sons are absolutely delighted with the fact that there are three of them and that they are all guys.

After many years of working as a psychologist in a hospital, I suddenly (?) caught an idea: to analyze the issues of the gender of children in married couples. I never specifically asked myself why some people only give birth to boys, while others only give birth to girls. But there is a pattern, and I will try to show it! Please note that these are just my assumptions.

I came to the main conclusion that a woman is “given” a boy if, during the period of preparation for childbirth, during gestation and birth itself, she had problems that were unclear life situations in relation to masculinity. In other words: if a woman had difficulties communicating with men at that time (father, first love, husband, etc.). And then she gives birth to a boy, so that over time, step by step, she can again go through her life lessons in relationships with the male sex from the very beginning - from the birth of her son!

I can say the same about men: if there are difficulties in communicating with women (his wife), then he will definitely “get” the girl. In every woman, a man, whether he wants it or not, is “looking” for a mother. Many men even try to please their daughters, since daughters represent the feminine gender?!

But what about families with children of different sexes, you ask? I can make the assumption that the family is in relatively harmonious relationships, so everything is equal!

I looked at couples who persistently wanted a baby of a certain gender, but received, for example, only girls!
I have had and still have to advise women with North Caucasus, where this situation is more clear. There are three or four girls in the family, but the man maniacally demands from his wife a boy - an heir! That poor woman suffers, sometimes even undergoes IVF, but still a girl is born. But a man just needs to “change” his thoughts regarding Women in general, and then maybe he will have a chance!?

Story 1: Woman (42 years old) director of a real estate agency. At the age of 15, her father left the family, and for the girl it was a tragedy. She wanted to be a historian, but she entered medical school “to become a surgeon” in order to prove her father’s guilt (her father was a surgeon). I graduated from the institute, but I didn’t work for a day in my specialty, because the smell of iodine and the sight of blood bothered me! At the age of 20, she married a rich man, with whom she gave birth to two boys of the same age. Over time, her irrepressible energy made itself felt, and her husband bought her a real estate agency. But this does not stop her from constantly meddling in the lives of her men and controlling them for any reason!

Story 2: A man (50 years old), was married three times, and in all marriages he had boys. When he was psychoanalyzed by me, we “pulled out” a recurring pattern: all of his wives had difficult relationships with fathers. And they all tried to subjugate him and crush him under themselves. He is a very soft and compliant person. But, at the same time, very amorous and sociable, and most importantly, wealthy! And always - desirable for almost any woman!

Story 3: Woman (45 years old), married, two girls. The husband is a tyrant and usurper, works in the security forces. Completely “subjugated” his wife. Before that, he had a family with a daughter, whom he does not help financially. As a child, he experienced betrayal from his mother, and then from his first love - and therefore does not trust women, and transfers his unfulfillment in life and resentment to his daughters!

Such stories can be told endlessly, and I am sure that if you “rummage” through your memory, you will remember a lot of things!

There is a cool and common phrase: Whoever is born, do not drown him! All children are given to us by God, they must be loved and raised. What about the gender of the child? This is just a hint for the parent of the opposite sex. But the decision: whether you need to understand yourself is up to you.

Why do some people only give birth to boys, while others only give birth to girls?

I think it definitely has nothing to do with this. It's all in God's hands! True, I heard that the sex of the child depends on the father, or rather on his sperm. In some men they are more mobile, active, but with a short life expectancy, while in others they are slow but tenacious. So, in the first case, a boy is more often born, and in the second, girls are born.

I have a son.

Based on the above experiences and theories, I can’t even say now who loved whom more at the time of conception and birth of a child: me, my husband, or my husband, me. And the concept of love for men is one thing, for women it is another.

It was the will of the higher powers and no matter who is born, a boy or a girl, it is God’s gift.

The other day I read an article on the Internet about the lack of rights of women in Saudi Arabia. They don't care about women there! And if she gives birth only to girls, then she is generally considered inferior. And the husband will look for new wives until one of them begins to bear him sons.

It seems to me that this has nothing in common with love. The genes of one of the spouses simply win.

By the way, one more information to the question. At first, the fetus has no sexual characteristics. Only by the eleventh week of pregnancy can the sex of the child be determined.

I also heard that there will be a child of the same sex, which of the parents loves more at the time of conception. Nice version, but...

It's hard to believe that in the history of my family they always loved more than a man, since in four hundred years we have had almost no girls.

It seems to me that love has nothing to do with it, everything depends on genes. After all, it also happens in animals that more boys or more girls are born. I myself know families where only boys are born, and I know families where only girls are born. I don’t think this is affected by the love between spouses.

Yes, Anfiska, I heard about it too. According to this theory, if a husband treats his wife with love, gives all of himself to her and, as it were, dissolves in her, a girl is born. If the husband loves more than himself, and the wife is more like a piece of furniture or nice decoration If a child only needs a few minutes of attention a day, then a boy is born. It's no secret that the sex of a child depends only on men. Therefore, psychological harmony between spouses is quite capable of determining the gender of the unborn child.

It seems to me that it depends on the man’s heredity and health. It is known that the male gene is very susceptible to death from unfavorable conditions - smoking, alcohol. That is why, if a man does not drink or drinks little (especially before conception), then a boy is born. If she likes to drink, then it will be more likely to be a girl, because... female genes are more resilient.

Well, heredity also has an effect on the inherited activity of spermatozoa. If you trace one family, you will find that most of the relatives were born in the same period, for example, all birthdays in the family are in the summer or autumn.

I have not heard of such a theory, but I have read in various books that the sex of a child can be planned. On certain days of the month you can conceive a girl, on others - a boy. I don’t remember the details, I read it a long time ago, but this fact seems to be real.