Have you ever wondered why unapproachable girls first attract and then scare men? Our psychologist Natalya Morgunova has her own opinion on this matter.
Many girls, having read articles in glossy magazines that a woman should be an unread book for a man, become as impregnable as a fortress. They first attract the attention of a man, and then: they disappear, do not answer calls, are not fooled by expensive gifts, etc. It would seem, what is the interest in this?
Why unapproachable girls attract men
The interest here is in the shortage of goods, and this is how unapproachable girls position themselves. Usually, relationships between a man and a woman are built according to the following scheme: they met, got to know each other, got married/separated. The process of getting to know each other involves frequent meetings, gifts, and spending time together.
Unapproachable girls at this very stage ignore their partner, creating the illusion that they are not like others, that is, a scarce commodity. It's like a discount in a store. You came, you saw the box chocolates. They have a discount that is valid only for today, and there are only 30 boxes left on sale. Most likely, you will buy these candies, although you did not plan this purchase, and the taste of the candies, due to the fact that there are few of them, has not changed. But their value has increased due to scarcity.
Why unapproachable girls scare men
At the dating stage, a girl who notices a gentleman, but does not respond to his advances, attracts him to her. The natural instinct of the male is triggered: to conquer this impregnable fortress. He throws all his strength and money at this, in the end, the defense will be broken, and, to his surprise, in 99% of cases it turns out that this fortress is no different from the others. Moreover, a man may even be disappointed, because inaccessibility and mystery can lead to high expectations that will not come true. It will be a shame for the wasted time and effort.
In addition, a number of representatives of the stronger sex run from unapproachable girls like fire. They think that since she is so incomprehensible and snorts in response to my spending and advances, then let her sit alone with her cockroaches. There must be something wrong with her.
Anyway, As practice shows, unapproachable girls most often end up with nothing . They attract men, receive gifts and attention from them, and then the ardent lovers disappear somewhere.
Therefore, if you want a serious relationship, it is better to adhere to the classic “met and get to know each other” scheme. By sincerely responding to the feelings, attention and gifts of another person, there is a greater chance of not being left alone. And when playing games and wearing the mask of an unapproachable girl, it is worth remembering that when the mask falls off, the fairy tale is unlikely to end with a happy ending.
Every man has a natural instinct of a hunter, so it is generally accepted that unapproachable girls are considered the most interesting among the opposite sex. After all, winning her is very difficult, and this “turns on” real men.
All means to achieve the goal are included - gifts, flowers, often even persecution. And all this just so that the person you like will pay attention to the person.
Make a man conquer you!
It happens that this does not even happen from « Great love», but purely out of sporting interest. In most cases, this same interest develops into something more. And sometimes the development of such relationships is much more productive than with mutual sympathy. After all, as you know, a man gravitates most towards precisely the lady who he got through particularly persistent efforts.
How does that same unapproachable stranger behave, and in general, by what signs can one recognize her in ordinary communication?
What means "be an unapproachable girl"?
This means being a real problem for men. Being untouchable, you will inspire them to exploits, pump out all their strength and energy, mentally devastate them, but... greatly interest them! Nobody likes approachable girls, even if they are incredibly beautiful. How can something be valuable that came into your hands on its own, that you didn’t have to desperately seek, and that, in the end, you didn’t have to spend money on? Of course not! In any case, for a man, with his "hunting instinct".
Even if you are madly in love with some guy, you should not demonstrate your readiness to hang on his neck right here and now. IN otherwise, you will irrevocably lose his interest in you, even if there was one at first.
What is an unapproachable girl?
Sometimes it happens that ostentatious inaccessibility for a woman is something like a tool for obtaining a certain profit. This applies to those who turn the good “dynamo” into men. They willingly communicate with representatives of the opposite sex, flirt, and even make hints about intimacy from the side of the appeared fan, but they are delaying with all their might "moment of truth" as much as possible.
During that very “delay,” a woman receives a lot of personal benefits - trips to expensive restaurants, theaters, concerts; purchases of equipment, clothes, fur coats and other things; holidays abroad. Some women do not pursue material gain, and do it simply for the sake of obtaining moral satisfaction due to the constant admiration of their persons (which does not make it any easier for rejected men). Is this how an unapproachable girl behaves? Not really.
True touch-me-nots do not actually pursue any goals. And all their “icy” visual component, as a rule, hides completely different problems. For example, failures on the personal front in the past, or psychological trauma. And some women, indeed, are almost impossible to please because of their wisdom or life experience. Young girls are almost always greedy for “sweet” guys. They like a pretty appearance, and for the sake of it they are ready to endure many character flaws, just to meet the “king” of a school or university.
As she grows up and experiences, a woman gains worldly wisdom and learns to automatically “weed out” everyone who would not be a good candidate for her hand and heart. And sometimes this process becomes so fanatical that a woman completely ceases to notice any objective merits in men.
All elements of courtship seem funny and comical to them, all attempts to win their hearts are stupid, all are real positive sides– insignificant.
So what is inaccessibility - a gift or a vice?
It's impossible to say for sure. What is known is that each "Snow Queen" Sooner or later, exactly that fan appears who deserves her 100%.
Unapproachable girl definitely values himself. She doesn’t exchange money for everyone she meets and doesn’t fall into the arms of fans on the first date. She may not be intentionally “stirring up” interest in herself with her behavior, but she always knows exactly what kind of man she needs and is looking exclusively for him. More precisely, she waits for him to find her himself.
What do men think about inaccessibility?
From the point of view of men, an unapproachable girl is one who:
- “Waiting for its finest hour”;
- “Tries to present herself as unique”;
- “Acts like she has a stone instead of a heart”;
- “Not interested in guys at all”;
- “He wants everything at once.”
Despite unflattering remarks, it is for such women that men are ready to give not only all their dignity and pride to the last, but also, if necessary, their lives. It is these women who fall in love once and for all, having learned the value of owning them. These are the women who inspire men and keep them going "on a short leash", and so skillfully that you can never tell about it from the outside.
If a girl loves herself, others can see it, and people are drawn to her. But loving yourself doesn't mean "put on the crown" and be prejudiced towards others.
How to love yourself and become hard to touch?
In this context, the expression “love yourself” means not at all what is usually meant by it.
Moreover, this must be done so that self-esteem grows. But loving yourself means not wasting your time on every man. There are girls, looking at whom you might think that they are desperate to look for love.
They can be incredibly beautiful, smart, caring, loyal and economical, but suffer constant disasters in their personal lives. Partly because they don’t love themselves, and give all their warmth to men who skillfully use it.
The expressions on the faces of these women seem to bear the stamp of loneliness and suffering, and of course, they are ready to rush towards anyone who offers to while away a summer evening together.
The logic of men when it comes to choosing a partner is extremely simple - if no one needs her, then why do I need her? This is why inaccessibility always wins. Do you want to be “on horseback” and become the one « snow queen» ? We'll be happy to give you some tips!
How can you become an unapproachable girl?
- When meeting a man, don't act like he's your last chance;
- Make it a rule not to call or text first;
- Pretend that you have many fans and are constantly being conquered (but not directly, but indirectly);
- Take your time when making a date - deliberately delay the date and show that you are a busy woman;
- Do not allow yourself to be touched during the first meetings, even if you like the man very much;
- Don’t agree to have sex on the first date (and in general, it’s better to wait at least two weeks with this matter);
- Love yourself. Truly value your personality, and under no circumstances let a man offend you;
- Let your companion constantly think about how to win such an unapproachable girl like you. But don’t go too far and don’t ask for anything in return for your attention;
- Give all the initiative into the hands of the stronger sex. Don't humiliate yourself and don't ask for anything. Don't insist on another meeting;
- If you are already in a relationship, do not make a scandal or engage in “quiet” pressure. When a man really does something wrong, pretend that you are very disappointed in him. Better yet, say it directly. Works flawlessly;
- Always remain unapproachable! Don’t get bogged down in everyday life and don’t sacrifice your personal time on the altar of household chores. You must be constantly busy with something. And be sure to be among people so that your man “wooes” you permanently, for fear of losing your attention when rivals appear.
Among pick-up artists, there are many versions of how you can conquer the “top” in the person of a loving and self-respecting woman. These include stupid SMS to unapproachable girls, and no less stupid gifts for them, and, even worse, aggressive actions "taking in stride".
Every man has a natural instinct of a hunter; therefore, it is generally accepted that unapproachable girls are considered especially fascinating among the opposite sex. Tea is extremely difficult to win her over, and this “turns on” real men.
All means to achieve the goal are included - gifts, flowers, often even persecution. And all this just so that the person you like will pay attention to the person.
Make a man conquer you!
It happens that this does not even come from “great love”, but purely out of sporting interest. In most cases, this same interest develops into something more. And sometimes the formation of such relationships is much more fruitful than with mutual sympathy. It turns out that a man, more than anyone else, gravitates towards the lady who he got through particularly persistent efforts.
How does that same unapproachable stranger behave, and in general, by what signs can one recognize her in ordinary communication?
What does it mean to be an unapproachable girl?
This means being a real pain for men. Being untouchable, you will inspire them to exploits, pump out all their strength and energy, morally devastate them, but... powerfully interest them! Nobody likes approachable girls, even if they are unimaginably charming. Can something really be valuable that came into your hands on its own, that you didn’t have to desperately achieve, and that, in the end, you didn’t have to spend money on? Definitely not! In each case, for a man with his “hunting instinct”.
Even if you're madly in love with a guy, you don't have to show that you're ready to hang around his neck right then and there. Otherwise, you will irrevocably lose his interest in you, even if there was one at the beginning.
What is an unapproachable girl?
Sometimes it happens that ostentatious inaccessibility for a woman is something like a tool for acquiring a certain interest. This applies to those who turn men into good-natured dynamos. They eagerly communicate with members of the opposite sex, flirt, even allow hints of intimacy from an emerging admirer, but with all their might they delay the “moment of truth” as much as possible.
During that same “procrastination”, a woman receives a lot of individual benefits - trips to expensive restaurants, theaters, concerts; purchases of equipment, clothes, fur coats and other things; holidays abroad. Some women do not pursue physical gain, and do it easily in order to receive moral satisfaction due to the continuous admiration of their persons (which does not make it easier for rejected men). Is this how an unapproachable girl behaves? Not at all.
True touchy-feely people do not really pursue any goals. And each of their “icy” visual components, as usual, hides completely different tasks. For example, failures on the personal front in the past, or psychological trauma. And some women, indeed, are virtually impossible to please because of their wisdom or life skills. Young girls are almost invariably greedy for “sweet” guys. They like a pretty appearance, and for the sake of it they are ready to endure many shortcomings of character, just to meet the “king” of the school or institute.
As she grows up and becomes more experienced, a woman gains worldly wisdom and learns to mechanically “weed out” everyone who would not be an excellent candidate for her hand and heart. And sometimes this process becomes so fanatical that a woman completely ceases to notice any unbiased superiorities in men.
All elements of courtship seem funny and amusing to them, all attempts to win their hearts seem stupid, all the real right sides seem insignificant.
So what is inaccessibility - a gift or a flaw?
It's impossible to say for sure. What is certain is that every “snow queen” sooner or later has exactly the right admirer, the one who is 100% worthy of her.
The unapproachable girl definitely values herself. She doesn’t trade for everything she meets and doesn’t fall into the arms of fans on the first date. Admittedly, she does not intentionally “kindle” interest in herself with her behavior, but she invariably knows correctly what kind of man she needs, and is looking for him extraordinarily. Or rather, she’s waiting for him to discover it himself.
What do men think about inaccessibility?
From the point of view of men, an unapproachable girl is one who:
Despite unflattering remarks, it is for such women that men are ready to give not only all their superiority and pride to the last, but also, if necessary, their lives. It is these women who fall in love once and for all, having learned the value of owning them. It is these women who inspire men and keep them “on a short leash,” and so skillfully that you can never tell from the outside.
If a girl loves herself, others can see it, and people are drawn to her. But loving yourself does not mean “putting on a crown” and being biased towards others.
How to love yourself and become hard to touch?
In this context, the expression “to love yourself” does not mean at all what is usually meant by it.
Moreover, this must be done so that self-esteem grows. But loving yourself means not exchanging yourself for any man. There are girls, looking at whom you might think that they are desperate to look for love.
They can be incredibly beautiful, reasonable, thrifty, correct and economical, but suffer continuous failures in their individual lives. Partly because they don’t love themselves, and give all their warmth to men who skillfully take advantage of it.
The expressions on the faces of these women seem to bear the stamp of loneliness and torment, and of course, they are ready to rush against anyone who offers to while away a summer evening together.
The logic of men when it comes to choosing a partner is extremely primitive - if no one needs her, then why do I need her? This is why inaccessibility invariably wins. Do you want to be “on horseback” and become that “snow queen”? We'll be happy to give you some tips!
How is it possible to become an unapproachable girl?
- When meeting a man, don't act as if he is your last chance;
- Make it a rule not to call or text first;
- Pretend that you have many fans and are constantly being conquered (not directly, but indirectly);
- Take your time when making a date - deliberately delay the date and show that you are a busy woman;
- Do not allow yourself to be touched during the first meetings, even if you really like the man;
- Don’t agree to have sex on the first date (and in general, it’s better to wait at least two weeks with this matter);
- Love yourself. Really value your figure, and under no circumstances let a man offend you;
- Let your companion constantly think about how to win such an unapproachable girl like you. But don’t go too far and don’t ask for anything in exchange for your attention;
- Give all the initiative into the hands of a strong attorney. Don't humiliate yourself and don't beg for anything. Do not insist on a further meeting;
- If you are already in a relationship, do not get rowdy and do not engage in “quiet” pressure. When a man really does something wrong, pretend that you are deeply disappointed in him. Better yet, say it directly. Works flawlessly;
- Remain impregnable always! Don’t get bogged down in everyday life and don’t sacrifice your personal time on the altar of household chores. You must be constantly busy with something. And be sure to be among people so that your man “wooes” you permanently, for fear of losing your attention when competitors arise.
Among pick-up artists, there are many versions of how it is possible to conquer the “top” in the person of a loving and self-respecting woman. These include stupid SMS to unapproachable girls, and no less stupid gifts for them, and, even worse, hostile actions of “taking things in stride.”
But we know that if a woman really knows her worth and respects her superiority, she will not fall for such maneuvers. Moreover, she remains (to some extent) unapproachable even if she has been married to a man for more than a decade. By the way, these are the ladies that men adore and idolize at any age and condition.
And the main thing you should remember: inaccessibility is not hatred or aggression towards men. This is not avoidance of their society. This is not neglecting their attention. This is a whole art of presenting oneself in moderation, proudly, carefully and well. Be joyful!
Acting unavailable is a great way to get a guy's attention and show him that you are worth his attempts to win your heart. But in all this a very delicate balance must be maintained. Your task is to look mysterious and difficult to approach, but not to overdo it, otherwise the guy will decide that a date with you is simply impossible for him. So, how can you portray yourself as unavailable in a way that will make him want you even more? Read on and find out!
Steps
Part 1
Make him want you- When a guy sees how you enjoy your single (or rather, free) life, he will want to become a part of your world even more.
- Enjoy your time as a single lady - it won't last forever.
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Flirt with him (a little). If you want a guy to want you, you should at least flirt with him a little. If it seems to him that you are an ice queen who is not at all interested in him, the guy will quickly lose his enthusiasm. Therefore, flirt with him, a little, at each meeting, but not for too long - look eye to eye, smile and exchange a few playful phrases, and then tell him that it’s time for you to run errands. Don't be rude to him, but being overly enthusiastic is also inappropriate.
- Play with your hair while talking to him.
- Laugh and look at the floor - let him see that you are a little embarrassed.
- If you know this guy well, you can playfully push him or pat him on the arm.
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Flirt with other guys. If you want to appear unavailable, you can't let the guy feel like he's the only thing on your radar. You should flirt with a few guys, but you shouldn't take advantage of them; also, the motives for your actions should not be too obvious; show the guy that you are desired by the opposite sex, that other men want you too. This doesn't mean you have to do anything inappropriate or cheeky; just show him that you like talking to other guys too.
- Look at flirting with other guys as a way to keep several options open.
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Impress him with your self-confidence. Guys love girls with a certain amount of arrogance and self-confidence. Nobody wants to date an insecure girl who constantly needs help to overcome her feelings of insecurity and anxiety. It's normal to feel insecure. However, the more you work on loving yourself and accepting your appearance and actions, the more attractive you become to a guy.
- Your job is to show your guy that you are already a wonderful person and that he will be an addition to your amazing personality; The guy should not think that only with him you will become a complete, harmonious person.
- If you want to feel confident, you need to look confident. Walk with your head held high and look straight ahead - no need to look at the floor and smile shyly at every opportunity.
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Be the life of the party. This doesn't mean you should dance on the table or laugh too loudly just to get men's attention. But this means that wherever you go and whatever you do, you need to have fun, do crazy things and enjoy every moment of your life, living it to the fullest. Guys are drawn to girls who attract fun, and if you are the life of the party, the guy you like will want to be around you even more.
- And if you're in a bad mood or just not interested in what's happening, go home. It's better to allow yourself to be a little angry than to force yourself to have fun.
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Don't give him your number when you first meet. If he asks for your phone number, act embarrassed first. There is no need to readily dictate numbers to him at his very first command; make him work for it. Don't be rude, but you also don't have to show that you're ready to ride off into the sunset with him if he just asks.
Don't say yes to his first date. If he asks you out on Saturday, tell him you have something to do. Give him another opportunity to invite you.
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Show him that you are okay with being alone. Exactly. For a guy to appreciate you in all your glory, you must feel comfortable as a single lady. Freedom is fun: you can meet lots of new people, have explosive parties with your girlfriends and go out without knowing what the evening has in store for you. Let your boyfriend see you laughing, dancing and enjoying life. free girl, instead of looking around in despair or being upset that you don’t have a loved one.
12th place - Sagittarius
The honorable 12th place goes to Sagittarius, who do not need to be conquered at all. Calm down, no need to open the champagne and celebrate the upcoming easy victory in advance!
First, write down in your ball books the principle that the Sagittarius young lady is guided by in relationships: “Sks is not a reason for dating at all.” Well, just so you know.
Because after sex with a Sagittarius, men, as a rule, want to immediately jump out of bed and run to the nearest jewelry store. wedding ring. And now this - excuse me.
Persuade the Sagittarius young lady to serious relationship- this is not a bug for you to crack, but a feat.
11th place - Aries
11th place goes to Aries, who are fiercely, furiously irritated by all these ridiculous male antics such as bouquets (such money for such vulgarity, forgive the Universe!), gallantry (you’ll give your great-grandmother your hand, smart guy!) and dinners in obviously expensive restaurants (walk , flaw, pension accrued?).
So Aries does not need to be conquered at all. Aries prefers to conquer herself. And now either give up or quit. Make your feet quickly!
Well, that is, it still won’t help, of course, because “if you don’t know how, we’ll teach you, if you don’t want to, we’ll force you,” but we were obliged to give this advice. You can’t, in fact, just like that, right away, deprive people of all hope of salvation.
10th place - Virgo
In order to win Virgo, you don’t need to do anything. Nothing at all. You just need to meet her requirements for a man. Yes, to all three volumes of requirements, each of which is as thick as a telephone directory of Moscow and the Moscow region.
If you comply, Virgo will do everything herself. If not, they will sincerely and honestly cut you off on approach.
But if you seem to correspond, but are trying to add points to yourself by demonstrating the techniques of a kitchen macho, beware: even if Virgo doesn’t need you, she will grab onto you. He'll grab hold of you and won't let go until he knocks all that extra crap out of your pretty little head.
The effect of treatment is lifelong. The result is not much different from a lobotomy.
9th place - Scorpio
Unexpected turn! For some reason, everyone thinks that winning a Scorpio lady is an incredibly difficult task, but in fact it is done in an easy way.
The principle of action is familiar to any man from early childhood: you go to the Emerald City, find Goodwin there and ask him for his brains, heart and courage.
You need courage to be able to approach Scorpio at all, brains so that she doesn’t immediately kill you with her tail, and then she will fry your heart and eat it with good Chianti.
8th place - Cancer
The question “How to win a Cancer lady?” - the stupidest question in the world. They would also ask how to breathe, for example. Just marry her, dude. There is no other way anyway, and who really needs it?
Another question is much more difficult: how to win yourself back from her if such a need suddenly overtakes you? And, to be honest, we don’t know the answer to this question.
That is, you can win yourself back using the same principle: just divorce her, dude. But science doesn’t know how to do this without leaving the most valuable thing in a tightly clenched claw. If the claw snaps into place, that's it.
However, as a consolation, we can tell you that after your divorce from Cancer, you will probably be hired at a film studio. Voice over cartoons.
7th place - Taurus
Write down the recipe: to win a Taurus lady, you need to be a cheerful goofball. Her favorite guy, with whom she will never get bored. With whom you can talk about anything, and he will understand everything.
With whom it is easy and there is no need to pretend to be something. With which you can drink a Zhiguli with fried sausages at your grandmother’s dacha with a “hole in the ground” toilet.
You must first put a platinum ring with a carat on the sausage. Where does the cheerful goofball get that kind of money? Yes, to Taurus, what does it matter where it comes from? This is not her problem at all, so you understand.
She just needs to pretend to be something tomorrow, so come on, throw yourself like a hog!
6th place - Leo
An honorable central place in the horoscope and a very, very simple recipe for a conqueror. Just give her some time more attention bro. Even more attention!
If you want to do without the exercise “I’ve been crawling behind you on my knees for a thousand miles, dear!”, you can depict the same thing in monetary terms. In general, long or expensive, choose one of the two.
Both options are without any guarantee, by the way. Welcome to adulthood!
5th place - Libra
The top five is opened by Libra, who is absolutely impossible to conquer without possessing a set of basic qualities: good education, excellent upbringing, a developed sense of beauty, well-readness and - oops, man, you weren’t standing here, get out of line! - the appearance of a beautiful elf. Do you comply? Then everything is fine.
Now stand under the balcony and wait for her to decide whether she needs it at all or not. Just first sweep up the ashes of your predecessor, who died of old age exactly in this very place. You'll get dirty again.
4th place - Gemini
Unexpected turn! Frivolous and lightweight Gemini have almost reached the top three. Because conquering Gemini is a no-brainer: Geminis are ready for a relationship only if they are interested.
And in order for the Gemini lady to become interested in you, you will have to stuff your brain with information until it boils.
And then learn to continuously deliver it to the Gemini on a platter of outstanding eloquence, seasoned with sarcasm, cynicism and black humor. And then she will think again, of course. What if you're crazy? In the sense that if not, if you are not crazy and normal, then pass by.
3rd place - Aquarius
Third place, bronze medal and certificate of honor“For outstanding services in the dynamo of the 80th level” goes to Aquarius.
Yes, bro, it's a dynamo, but what a dynamo! Aquarius completely sincerely likes you, and your ridiculous shy antics, and stupid gifts, and flowers.
She really takes great pleasure in going on a date with you - be it to the theatre, or to a restaurant, or to sit on a bench in the park. And she likes to hold your hand, and flirt, and laugh at your jokes.
All this is completely sincere, there is not the slightest lie in it. And just as sincerely, she doesn’t want to go to bed with you. At all. Haha, screw it up!
2nd place - Capricorn
The silver medal goes to Capricorns, whose winning is a dead task. Even if you bring her a dragon's head on a platter, you won't get the princess's hand.
Well, if only the hand of some stranger princess who happened to be lying around in Capricorn’s household since the time of his passion for the science of anatomy (don’t open the jar, by the way, formaldehyde is very smelly).
The thing is that Capricorn does not need fleeting romances. Capricorn needs a serious relationship with an eye to “living happily ever after and dying on the same day.” But first she wants to live happily ever after on her own. But if anything happens, come in.
Well, what if she is now passionate about the science of psychology and she needs a drug like “A man in love, a desperate man, one thing”?
1st place - Pisces
Ta-dam! First place and Golden medal goes to Pisces! Which, as everyone knows, are very cold, thoughtful, self-absorbed and, it seems, generally a little out of this world.
So you need to win them in some special way, but no one knows how exactly. Surprise! We know. You need to hang in the water and pretend to be an old holey sock.
Then, perhaps, the Fish will swim out and, looking at you with curiosity, wag its tail and disappear into the world’s oceans. Because she's not really self-absorbed. She just sits in ambush in beautiful corals. So if you try to conquer, she will do “AM”.
Well, then, depending on your luck. Either he’ll gobble it up right away, or he’ll torture him first. Because playing with conquerors, like a cat and a mouse, is her favorite pastime.
