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Being a parent is great! But those of us with kids know that it's not always easy. In order for children to be well brought up, educated, adapted to life, you need to devote enough time and effort to this. Next to children, we understand that we ourselves do not always know how to behave in a given situation.
We are in website decided to understand the most common problems of children's behavior, which often worry parents and which in no case should be left to chance.
Covering
Sometimes children are afraid to talk about having witnessed something bad because think they will get in trouble for it. Some children deliberately keep silent about this in order to teach or gain approval. Others really consider, what so they do better help others.
Solution: the child needs to be taught the difference between talkativeness and vigilance. It is necessary to calmly listen to the child, not to condemn, to help understand the situation and solve the problem.
Rivalry between siblings
Sometimes parents themselves provoke such conflicts, labeling children(e.g. that one of them is smart, handsome, athletic) or making one of the brothers or sisters his favorite.
Solution: find out the root of the problem and prohibit the infliction of physical pain. Help children feel like a real team, teach them how to fairly resolve conflicts. Explain the importance of respecting each other's feelings. Try to regularly spend time alone with each of the children, this will help maintain warm bonds in the family.
Theft
The child may begin to appropriate someone else's from a lack of attention from friends and family, due to strong desire to own a thing you like, from a lack of development of moral ideas and will.
Solution: what matters is your attitude to what happened. Keep calm. If your child took someone else's for the first time, find out why he did it, explain that it is absolutely impossible to do this, and ask him to return (or pay for) the thing and apologize. If this happens over and over again, seek professional help. psychological help. Otherwise, a persistent habit may be fixed.
Disrespectful attitude towards others
Disrespectful behavior can occur not only in teenagers, but also in children as young as 2 years of age. Younger children often repeat what they saw on TV or copy adult or older siblings, because they think it's normal.
Solution: find out what is causing this behavior. Teach children to express their emotions and desires correctly and to remain calm; be able to listen. If the child behaves defiantly - deprive him of the privileges that he enjoys.
Deception
The age of the child matters a lot. After all, children under 7 years old, as a rule, just have a very active imagination. Among the reasons for lying, experts cite the desire to avoid trouble, the need for attention, the fear of authoritarian parents, or the desire to get what they want.
Solution: stay calm. Explain to your child the importance of honesty and trust in a relationship. Think of an adequate punishment that will show the child that lying is unacceptable. If deception becomes the norm for him, this may be a sign of a more serious problem - it is necessary to work in this direction with a specialist.
whimper
This is a signal that some need of the child is not satisfied. Primarily make sure what with child everything is fine. He may also miss your attention or something to disturb. In this way, children can get what they want if the parents are hesitant or present too high requirements.
Solution: try to keep a straight face. Remind your child to speak in a normal voice. If this behavior becomes permanent, you need to figure out what is happening in the family, perhaps discuss it with the child so that he feels that he is also part of it.
Rude manners
It may surprise us why children slurp or show no basic respect for others. You may be surprised, but manners are laid exactly in family. The words "please", "thank you", "sorry", like the most simple rules behavior at the table - quite reasonable expectations.
Solution: do not pressure children when teaching them manners, but often remind them to be considerate of other people. It is also important for parents and loved ones to behave correctly, because children repeat what they see.
Why is it important to make time for your child?
So many people claim that a child is the most important thing in life, and that their love simply knows no boundaries, since there is nothing more expensive. However, as practice has shown, modern parents devote more time to the apartment, car and cottage, but not to their beloved baby. In fact, taking care of minor things for the good of the child has become more important than himself!
All parents shouldgive the child time, because it is extremely important for his development, upbringing and formation as a person. It should always be remembered that our life is short, and therefore, it would be extremely stupid to devote it entirely to work and not pay attention to loved ones.
We cannot let our lives slip through our fingers, pushing away those who truly love us. After all, if you are gone tomorrow, another person will quickly take your place at work. But your children will not be able to replace you with anyone, because for them you are already valuable by your very existence.
Save time for your child! is a priority position. For the rest, we distribute time according to the residual principle.
Most often, young children are given increased attention, but as soon as the child grows up, parents begin to devote minimal time to the child, thus trying to teach him to be independent. However, children's independence and the manifestation of parental attention are two different things. According to statistics, the most independent and caring children grow up precisely from those who received a lot of parental attention.
In practice, giving time to a child is very easy and pleasant. It is enough to talk to him, accompany him with hugs and a look, all this will be simply priceless for the child, no matter how old he is. Be sure to let us understand that it is more important than your work, car and everything that you devote a lot of time to. Thanks to such simple ways the child will gain confidence and self-respect, and this will certainly come in handy in the future. Just systematically debug all your affairs and devote yourself to your child. Of course, to feed, clothe and give space for development is very important. But this cannot replace parental attention, and at the same time, your attention should not turn into close control, which develops inferiority in children.
Be sure to think about how much time you devote to your child and try to devote at least a minute more to him every day. Remember that the child will be the main support for you in old age.
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“How important it is to pay attention to children!” Advice for parents
“To raise a happy child, you need to spend half as much money and twice as much time on him.” Esther Sells Don
I often remember this quote!
Indeed, first of all, the child needs parental care and most importantly, love Attention! The most important thing is that every child should feel that he is loved. parents! Only in this case he will feel happy. We are often due to lack of time "pay off" "we answer" from children with gifts and expensive toys. But there is question: And will they replace live communication, will they give as much positive and joy as joint games?
Sometimes, while walking on the playground, mothers' thoughts are somewhere far away. Some think over the menu for lunch and dinner, others think about how to have time to check the lessons from the elder, iron a bunch of laundry, someone goes headlong into social networks…. and the children themselves, entertain themselves as best they can! After all, this is what happens - we will give the child a shovel in the hands, and we ourselves are somewhere far away, in our thoughts, household chores. Take a walk and run home!
And just imagine how much happiness a child would have if you played with him! How much delight you would see in children's eyes! We got toys, set up towers, roads and garages, laid out the dishes and then dad would join and here is the perfect evening with the family, and most importantly, the child would be brought so much joy! If he does not feel love parents then you won't feel happy. And this is very important for its development, becoming a complete person.
And then the child is not a hindrance in household chores, involve him in household chores, if dad took up some housework, then let him ask the child to give him all possible help, that is, to hold some tool. If you want to fry potatoes, then ask the child to help you, and in return, after the cooked dinner, promise to play his favorite game with him. If you are going shopping, tell your child that you really need his help.
I am sure that it is impossible to spoil a child with joint games and time spent together, but it is quite possible to make it happier! Just be able to break away from household chores for 20-30 minutes and be with your child! And warm hugs are provided to you! Your caress, kiss, hugs can replace literally everything for a child, because first of all you give him support in life.
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Advice for parents "Children lack attention"
CHILDREN LACKED ATTENTION
In 99 cases out of 100, the cause of disobedience, misunderstanding, tantrums and other difficulties in the relationship between parents and children, is not a child, but parents.
If the child does not obey you, the reason is in you, not in the child. You need to understand exactly your behavior, and only then think about how you can help the child.
So, the very first and main reason - lack of attention. No matter how trite it may sound. Think right now how often you pay attention to your child, if he does not scream, does not throw tantrums, fully acts the way you want it? Usually these children are not paid much attention to. attention. The child is busy with something, mom or dad are doing their own thing. This is the simplest situation that suits everyone, first of all parents.
Today it is very difficult to give a child much attention and time. Parents usually spend a lot of time at work. However, it is not necessary to spend 24 hours a day with a child in order for him to receive so much attention how much he needs. Just become a friend for him, a person who loves him under any circumstances, and whatever happens. Become someone who truly loves, appreciates and supports in any situation.
For children, the most important and valuable thing is to be loved. Plants reach for the sun in order to live. Also, our children are drawn to those who sincerely love and appreciate them. Therefore, if you show them your love, devotion, warmth and care, not in words, but in deeds, they will never commit an act that can upset you. And when making an important decision for them, they will first of all consult with you, and not with friends.
Many believe and teach people who are still on the steel parents that life after the birth of a child in the family does not change in any way. This is fundamentally wrong. With the advent of a new man in your life, everything changes. Everything that used to be in the first place goes to the background. For the next 15-18 years, the most important concern in your life is children.
Children are the greatest joy, but at the same time, the greatest responsibility. Children are what will stay with you forever. Friends, work, thoughts and beliefs, even a spouse can come and go, but children stay forever!
The hardest thing about raising and caring for children is giving up some, and sometimes many, activities that were important to you before. Gradually, you will give up everything that wastes your time.
Many married couples, especially those who have lived a long life together before the birth of a child, they believe that it is possible to combine entertainment, hobbies, active image life as before and be beautiful parents.
It's a delusion. Yes, without children, you can travel, communicate unlimited time with friends, girlfriends, relatives, engage in your favorite hobby, and so on. But when a child appears, there comes, if not the end of all this, then at least a temporary lull. This is absolutely normal and natural.
In fact, from the moment you have a baby, your life changes. All things go to the background. First of all, you now need to take care of the child. You and only you influence 99% of his character, development, feelings and emotions, in general, how his whole future life will turn out.
Every child, and yours is no exception, needs attention. This is a common truth, but few parents understand it.. And some people just forget.
Attention from parents- the same need of each child as the need for food and walks on fresh air. Give your child as much as possible attention. Every day! Every spare minute!
How can you give so much attention how much does a child need?
Of course, the answer suggests itself - to increase the number of attention. Easy to say but hard to do! And how to determine this level?
We all work, we have a lot to do, both men and women. Millions of women around the world go to work every day, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner, wash and iron, clean. There are a thousand more things to do!
1. Make it a habit from today to give each of your children 15-30 minutes of time over the next 90 days. Not just turn on the cartoon and go to the kitchen, but read a fairy tale, draw together, sculpt together, cook food together, listen to the child, talk about how your day went. Go to the theater, cinema, skating rink, park. Come with the whole family! You yourself will not notice how this 15-30 minutes every day will radically change your life and your relationship with your child! You will experience incredible happiness and pride in what you do. After all, only 15% parents Spend 30 minutes a day talking to your child! Be better than the other 75%!
Stand in line with the best planet's parents!
2. Plan your day in such a way that enough time for work and family. Do each day first things related to these two areas of your life, and only then do the rest.
3. The most important thing you have is your family and home. Spend as much time as possible at home with your loved ones.
At work, the main thing is quality, at home - quantity!
4. Always spend free time with benefit. For example, when traveling with a child in a car, I do not turn on the player. It is much more important to talk with a child about his feelings, plans, events in his life than to listen to your favorite song or news on the radio.
5. When a child wants to tell you something, listen to him. carefully. Instead of trying to listen with half an ear, turn to him, leave all your affairs and listen carefully! Don't pretend to listen, just listen.
6. Always go on vacation with the whole family. Many people want to take a break from loved ones on vacation. Yes, there is some logic in this. But! Take a break from everyone, that is, spend time alone with yourself regularly. To do this, make it a rule in your family to release your husband twice a week for 1-2 hours. (wife) from all worries, and do the same yourself. Spend twice a week time with and for yourself. Take a walk, go with a friend to a cafe, go shopping, to the pool, etc. And spend your vacation with the whole family. Of course, many parents want to take a break from the children and be alone with each other. Also do it regularly and don't tie it to a vacation.
So the most common reason bad behavior is a fight for parental attention. As soon as the child starts misbehaving, parents they are immediately distracted from their important and necessary affairs and rush to raise a child. If the child does not receive the required amount attention the only way to deserve it Attention he sees in disobedience.
Your child needs attention is also strong like eating or sleeping. This is a normal need, which is simply necessary for him to grow normally.
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Lack of attention for children is common cause children's whims, disobedience, conflicts. Not only small children, but also teenagers of any age require a lot of parental attention and warmth.
The main reason for misunderstanding, whims and disobedience in children is the lack of parental attention. No matter how trite it sounds. It is necessary to consider the question of whether the mother often pays attention to the baby when he sits silently without whims, does not bother anyone, and his behavior suits the parents.
Usually such a child rarely attracts attention. He plays himself, and his parents always have urgent business. This is a very comfortable situation, suitable for everyone, especially mom and dad.
In addition, as the child grows, parents less and less devote their time to him. But at any age there are nuances of upbringing and problems, therefore psychologists do not advise limiting communication. Small children are helpless and unable to help themselves, so parents devote all the time to caring for them without a trace. But growing up small man can already occupy itself for the most part.
Nowadays it is not easy to give children the attention they need. Parents work from morning until late, but children do not require all 24 hours a day.
You need to become a friend to your child so that he knows that no matter what happens, he will be understood and supported.
For children, the love of parents is the most important thing. As a flower turns towards the sun, and therefore lives. So the child needs to be appreciated and loved sincerely. Therefore, you need to tell him about it, and every moment show care, warmth, affection. Then he will not want to upset his loved ones with bad deeds and he will not seek advice from friends, but to mom and dad.
Children are the highest joy, but also a huge responsibility. This is what is given to parents for life. Friends, work, opinions and thoughts, even a husband or wife can come or go, but children stay forever.
There are many young couples, especially those who did not have a child immediately, but after a long time, who believe that it is possible to go to parties, live vigorously, as they used to, and at the same time perform well the duties of parents.
But psychologists are skeptical about this. You can go traveling, and leave the child at home, get involved in your favorite activities, but when a baby is born, you may not need to stop living like this, but stop for a while. And this is considered the norm.
With the advent of a baby in the family, life changes. All matters become secondary, and the main time is occupied by the child. After all, only mom and dad are now responsible for the formation of character, feelings, emotions, and for his future.
Every child needs attention, but not everyone understands it or even remembers it.
After all, our children need participation in the same way as they need food, walks in the fresh air. Parents should give every free minute to the baby.
How to give children enough attention?
It is natural to say that you just need to pay attention often. But it is one thing to say, and another thing to do, and how to correctly determine. Every woman and every man goes to work, cooks, cleans, and does laundry at home. And plus a lot of other things:
1. Psychologists advise mothers to make it a rule to give their child half an hour every day.
2. Make plans in such a way that there is enough time for the family.
The first place is taken by the family, then work, and then other concerns. After all, loved ones are the main thing in life, and they require maximum time.
3. Time should be put to good use.
For example, if you go with a child in a car, then do not listen to music or think about problems at work, but talk with the child, discuss his affairs, school, classes in circles.
4. If the child wants to talk, then you need to leave things, turn around and listen to him, and not just pretend.
5. Go on vacation with your family.
Sometimes people leave their loved ones to relax, unwind. Maybe this is justified, but you need to give yourself a rest alone not only on vacation, but every week. Go to friends, girlfriends, shops. From children, too, spouses can sometimes relax, go to a restaurant, visit. But the main holiday is spent with the family.
