Among the comments to several of my opuses, there is one special one. It inevitably appears under each of my publications, and from different people.
“Baba wrote!”
Well, this is obvious, you must admit, all women write under the pseudonym Oleg Batluk.
I always wait for this comment and even get a little nervous if it doesn’t exist for a long time. And when he finally comes out full height, all so beautiful, I’m happy. And I am sincerely happy.
“Baba wrote!” - for me this is a big, huge compliment. Even if it was not such as intended by its author.
These qualities make me fuller as a person, more voluminous, more prominent in a figurative, not physical sense. I forgot about the three-dimensional personality, of course, you are asking for immodesty - drama demands it.
I have always envied women because of these qualities.
I suspect that women are generally richer technologically and more interesting than men. Which is understandable, because, according to legend, they were created after men, which means they were endowed with higher quality firmware.
For example, I envied women because of their ability to see 360 degrees. This is what is now known as augmented reality technology, or VR. Men can only see 180 degrees. Their necks don't turn any further. Women turn around.
Why, I was jealous of the most basic installations. The ones that make men often make fun of women. That same feminine emotionality - I envied her. A woman initially has a whole palette of colors inside her, and not just one jar of black gouache that a man stole from his dad’s table as a child.
Living with a rainbow inside - how can you not envy that?
Men compared to women in this aspect are emotional beggars.
A woman is like French cuisine, where a whole separate menu has been invented just for shades of sensations, and men are English cuisine, fish & chips, don’t eat it (may the English forgive me).
So these fish & chips are not to be honestly envied like I am, they also make fun of them! Like, women are still Malvinas with purple hair, turbulent and unpredictable. But we are not, we are different, Pinocchio made from a single piece of wood, an ebonite stick.
Only this seemingly simple and solid ebonite stick will become so ebony over time that it won’t seem too small. Because every Pinocchio has two Malvinas inside, locked with the key of “masculinity.” And when the firecracker explodes, the average man cannot understand why there is so much confetti in him.
Finally, with the birth of my son Artem, the maternal instinct awakened in me. Perhaps I will now blurt out the most absurd of my heresies, but it seems to me that, in a certain dosage, the maternal instinct is initially inherent in every father. It’s just that fathers resist him terribly when they discover: what nonsense is this, what if the milk starts flowing now?
Our women's site "Beautiful and Successful" is always ready to give advice, how to succeed, become better, improve and cause admiration in the eyes of men! But what to do if success has come, life makes you happy? pleasant surprises, everything is going as well as possible, but... all this and he can’t just be sincerely happy for his beloved wife?! Let's figure it out!
Why do men envy women?
In fact, if a husband is jealous of his wife, you shouldn’t immediately start a scandal on the topic “Ahh, what kind of womanish behavior, real men don't envy women! They are jealous.
But if he a real man- He won’t show it because he’s well-bred. In reality, 99% of men have stereotypes firmly in their heads that are very difficult to banish!
The main stereotype is that a woman should not be more successful than her man. Or rather, on the contrary, he a man simply must be at least a little more successful than a woman!
And if at a certain moment in life this is not the case, then the husband begins to feel like a complete loser (even if he is still far from being a real loser!). Hence the envy. This envy cannot be called unconstructive - it is in male nature!
The man begins to feel that he ceases to be support and hope for his beloved wife, it seems to him that he will no longer be able to protect, save and help her, because she is able to solve all the problems herself, without him... And this is very bad for relationships!
But this type of envy can be called “healthy” - as a rule, it encourages a man to do something to become more successful himself.
There is another stereotype that awakens “unhealthy” envy, which is difficult to get rid of and even more difficult to channel into a creative direction. This stereotype “Women have an easier life”. It’s easier to get a job, it’s easier to gain the respect and admiration of others, to “earn the trust” of to the right people etc.
This opinion usually arises among real losers - simply lazy people who want to somehow justify their own idleness and reluctance to change something in life for the better.
How to stop your husband from being jealous?
I warn you right away. Wrong tactics- timidly look up and say: “What am I doing? And I'm okay! All my successes are complete nonsense, a coincidence and luck that I didn’t even deserve! Of course, of course, everything will definitely be in chocolate, and I will soon receive a blow from fate in the back of the head again!”
Your husband will not stop being jealous, but in this way you are doing yourself a disservice.
- Firstly, you lower your self-esteem and disrupt your mood for success.
- Secondly, you suggest to your husband the easiest way, but not at all The right way get rid of envy: suggest that there is absolutely nothing to envy, the wife has achieved nothing, all her successes are an accident, she doesn’t deserve it...
In fact, envy can become a motivation for a man to take action and your own achievements! If you hear again from your spouse statements like “You’re lucky, you earn more than me...”, answer like this: “Yes, and it wasn’t easy for me, I have to do this and that, sometimes I get tired... But you can - I I know what a great guy you are!”
But there is another common mistake, making which you can completely discourage an envious husband from conquering any heights!
These are statements like: “Yes, I did it, I achieved success.” , I'm great, but you don't know how to do anything", except to lie on the couch, and nothing will ever work out for you." Wives who often repeat this “spell” have husbands who actually lie on their couches for years and... silently envy!
If a husband is jealous of his wife, then it’s bad for both. Therefore, if you understand that this feeling has crept into your relationship, try... in general, remember this less often and not emphasize your superiority over your husband!
Are you earning more? Don’t yell at the entire supermarket: “No need, I’ll pay for it myself, my salary is not as good as yours!!!”
Just whisper in your ear: “Can I pay? It will be a wonderful dinner! But you are responsible for the restaurant... as much as you can, invite me...".
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Any woman marries with the hope that her husband will eventually become an independent, successful and responsible person who can provide for her and her family material well-being. But, having lived next to their husband for several years together, many wives, on a subconscious level, begin to fear that life with a successful and independent man may be accompanied by the risk of leaving her alone.
After all, everyone knows that having achieved real success in life, they begin to look for more in relationships with women, they want novelty and acuity of sensations. In most cases, they leave their wives and marry young girls who are actively hunting for rich men. Psychologists say that the presence of this kind of fear in women can become a serious obstacle to their husband’s career path. Next to such wives, a man throughout his life remains at the same level as he had before marriage
Where did it go? limitless strength and energy, which immediately after the wedding “bounced out of him”? Why doesn’t he now believe in himself, in his dreams and doesn’t strive to become successful person? The reason most often lies in the woman he married. Because of the fear of being left alone, she does not allow her husband to develop and cannot achieve success herself. Reading these lines, many women may experience a sharp wave of denial and the thought that the wife cannot be to blame for her husband’s failures; if he was born so “indecisive,” then no one can change him.
If you have such a thought arose, then you can be sure that we have already found one of the main reasons why your husband cannot develop and achieve success in life. The fact is that if a man is constantly told that he is indecisive and incapable of anything, while doing everything himself, without waiting for any action from him, then he will not strive to achieve anything in this life. You just don't give him a chance to succeed.
At first after my wife's wedding They rejoice at their husband’s success, because the fact that he earns well is an excellent opportunity to save for housing, invest in the financial independence of the family and think about the future. Moreover, before the birth of her first child, the wife herself also has the opportunity to work, because of this she feels more confident. But with the birth of a child, the husband pulls ahead, and the wife begins to fear that such successful man Other women may also look at it.
This is where it begins claims addressed to the husband: “Why don’t you devote time to us?”, “You are not interested in our life!”, “You never help me around the house,” and so on. The worst thing is when a wife periodically says to her husband: “You will become rich and find someone else.” In this case, the man really gets tired of his insecure wife and finds a replacement for her. Even if a man remains close to his wife, he will no longer have the desire to become successful. Perhaps he will come home from work earlier and help with the housework, but at the same time he will complain that his manager at work does not like him because he mistakenly considers him a bad employee.
Desire to control husband and subjugating it is the main obstacle to a man’s success. If you really want to see your husband as a successful person in life, do not try to subordinate him to your desires and whims, give him more freedom. Admire his achievements and let him know that you truly believe in his success. Do not be afraid that he will become a happy and contented person in life. After all, he is trying to earn more only so that you can enjoy life with him. Tell him more about what you really like, how he works and that he is doing well, then he will have a desire to make your life even better. You cannot try to pin your husband on your skirt, demand that he do all the housework, be accountable for spending his money, and unconditionally fulfill all your whims. Such a husband, of course, will always be by your side, but he will never become a successful person.
If you have fears lose your husband, don't let these fears ruin your happiness. Share your insecurities with your husband and talk to him about how you can help him achieve his success. After this conversation, you will feel great relief and your fears will seem simply ridiculous to you. If your family has a separate budget, then make it a joint one and stop constantly controlling your husband. Set new goals for yourself and start implementing them yourself. Take care of yourself and learn to live for your own pleasure, and when you are satisfied with yourself and your husband, then you will not have time to waste time on all sorts of ridiculous fears.
When a man is jealous of a woman...
Horrible, isn't it? It even sounds ridiculous. To what extent should a man feel insignificant in order to recognize female superiority... Of course, I don’t mean such obvious things as beauty :))) I mean personal self-realization, success, inner strength.
Envy is essentially a feminine quality.
Women's envy, men's envy
More precisely, it is inherent in the fair sex, who are weak by nature. Women always envy if they are even a little bit of it! And most often - to each other. Even I would say this is natural. Naturally for those women who do not strive for internal improvement. The rest are trying to cope with it, because envy is a thing that destroys us, depriving us of a better life.
Women's envy is slippery, petty, bitchy. It can be harmless, like a mosquito bite - it seems uncomfortable, but it doesn’t really do any harm. And it can be poisonous, like a snake bite.
But it is not a match for male envy, since it is a destructive and merciless thing. At least that's what it may seem at first glance.
A man envies a woman when he cannot understand the reasons for his failures that haunt him. He is tormented, angry, and may even put a spoke in his wheels, but this envy, despite its destructiveness, continues to remain funny, since it is dishonorable for a man to desire a feminine thing.
No less surprising are the cases when a husband envies his wife. It would seem - be proud of her successes, are they in your throat? No, no, where is it going? He should do better! So who's stopping you? Wife?
Most often, this envious man is a victim of lost love from his mother, who does not know how to forgive and knows nothing about love. You can sympathize with him - no matter how he tries to interfere with the successes of others, his lack of self-confidence and confidence in his karma as a loser entails continuous failures.
Bringing pain to others, and most often - giving revenge to women for the lack of this love, the unfortunate person suffers himself, becoming weaker and weaker. With each of his failures in atrocities, he becomes more and more angry, hates more and more, and pours out his anger more and more often. It’s scary that all these machinations of a man and the problem of envy lead to the fact that the representative of the stronger sex himself receives all his negativity back. After all, be that as it may, male envy cannot match feminine cunning or a woman’s ability to forgive the unfortunate and disadvantaged.
Therefore, in cases where a man envies a woman, the offended envious person is most often left with nothing. And at the same time he does not understand that the reason for his envy is his own reluctance to grow internally and increase his strength of spirit. He is too lazy to admit the need for improvement. His thirst is to blame everyone except himself for his failures. For envy is an insidious and vile feeling, behind itself it hides many subordinates, such as atheism, dislike, despair, despondency, anger, malice... and so on. No wonder there is a wonderful saying by Confucius:
“If someone wants to seriously offend you, then it’s even worse for them.”
