The Swedes have a rather free attitude towards marriage ties. Modern Swedes for the most part do not enter into an official marriage. In Sweden, two types of so-called civil marriage are common, in which the relationship is not formalized. This is a "sambu" - a civil marriage of cohabitation, in which a man and a woman live under the same roof, register with the local tax office and run a joint household. And “Serbu” is something like a “guest marriage”, in which a woman and a man live separately, each on their own territory, but spend some time together, for example, holidays, weekends or certain days of the week. In both forms of marriage, there may be common children. The main difference from Russian civil marriages is that these relationships are recognized legally, and only property remains separate.
As in most European countries, the creation families in Sweden, including civilians, falls on a fairly mature age - somewhere in the region of thirty years. Also, over the years, the tendency to have children late has become quite strong - also by the age of thirty, or even over thirty. In the average Swedish family usually no more than two or three children.
Swedes easily break off relationships, especially in case of infidelity. The country has a very high divorce rate. The so-called serial monogamy, that is, the repeated change of partner, has become a common phenomenon. Accordingly, Swedish children tend to have half-siblings in their parents' newly created marriages, and more often than not in one.
In the families of Sweden man and woman are absolutely equal. This is not just a cultural tradition of the country, or an element of the worldview of society, it is the policy of the state, enshrined at the legislative level. In Sweden, there is a whole ministry for integration and gender equality, and more than thirty years ago, in 1980, the institution of the Ombudsman for gender equality was created. For example, parental leave in Swedish families is granted to the father on an equal basis with the mother, and he does not have the right to refuse to take care of the child in favor of the woman. In a divorce, children are required to spend equal time with each parent.
In Sweden, it is customary to raise children in a special way. This is not a country where parents are indisputable authority. The child is initially given great personal freedom. Regardless of age, it is customary to listen to him and take into account his opinion. It is customary to educate on his mistakes, and not on the direct teaching of an adult. If a child does something wrong, he must feel the consequences of wrong decisions, and no longer be mistaken.
Physical punishment in relation to a child in any form is strictly prohibited by law. You can't even have a child 
lightly spank for wrongdoing, because if this becomes known, then a trial and a fine will follow. Another characteristic of Swedish parenting is that the child is taught the nuances of adult sexuality at an early age, usually at the age of five. Sex in Swedish society and within Swedish families is a topic for open and free discussion. The Swedes believe that it is better to explain everything to a child at the age of five, when sexual functions are not yet active, and there is no increased interest in this topic of human relations.
As already mentioned, along with the estimates families in Sweden as the most modern and meeting the needs of the time, there is also an opinion according to which Sweden is experiencing the deepest crisis of the institution of the family. On the one hand, the "socialism with a human face" that Sweden has achieved has a direct expression in the economic question. The Swedes are a fairly wealthy nation, this country is known for its large-scale social programs for vulnerable segments of society. Sweden has the world's highest share of gross domestic product spent on social security for pensioners, health care is free, and about 80% of income taxes go to finance health care. In addition, Sweden has free and generally accessible higher education. On the other hand, Sweden is a country of lonely people. Individualism and freedom, which Swedish society has come to and is proud of, have their other side. Sociologists state that a large number of funerals of the elderly are held without ceremony, they are cremated, and none of the relatives take the ashes. The absence of funeral ceremonies is an important indicator of the breaking of emotional and sensual bonds in many Swedish families.
Due to the low birth rate, Sweden has a high proportion of the elderly population. The average life expectancy in the country for men is 78.6 years, for women - 83.2 years, at the moment the percentage of the population aged 80 years and over has reached the highest rate among the countries of the European Union and is 5.3%. In turn, people over 65 make up 18% of the Swedish population.
In addition to the fact that the birth rate in Swedish families is quite low, 60% of all Swedish children born are illegitimate, 20% of the total number of children are raised by one parent. In Sweden, the number of divorces is very high - for 38,000 marriages that are officially registered every year, there are 31,000 divorces. Behind the shoulders of the average Swedish parent, as a rule, three marriages. At the state level, studies are even funded to prove the positive impact of this type of relationship on children, who, when moving from one parent to another after another divorce, gain experience in social relationships and life experience that will be useful to them in adulthood. Since the words "stepfather" and "stepmother" in the public mind are associated more with negative feelings, in Sweden it is practiced to address new family members as "parent one" and "parent two".
According to statistics maintained by the Swedish Association for Sexual Equality (RFSL), over 40,000 children in Sweden have homosexual parents (or one parent). Same-sex marriages in Sweden were legalized in 1995 and initially it was stipulated at the legislative level that these would be exclusively civil marriages (without consecration by the church), but soon the state made an exception in this matter: homosexual couples were blessed in the church, but without witnesses and prayers . In addition, lesbian couples, again according to the laws of the country, have the right to in vitro fertilization, which is paid for by the state.
The Swedish state is very actively involved in the process of raising children. This is facilitated by the fact that in the vast majority of Swedish families both parents work, as very high taxes make it impossible to support a family on one wage.
Interests and rights of children in Swedish families protected by a special ombudsman institution. There are also a number of organizations: BRIS ("Children's Rights in Society") - on duty electronic and telephone lines for teenagers and children; Friends ("Friends") - help if peers offend, etc. Corporal punishment of children is prohibited in any form, and this rule has been introduced since 1979. Parents do not have the right to raise their voice at the child with impunity, pull the ear or give a slap. For beating a child, the legislation provides for 10 years in prison. Children have been informed in detail about their rights since kindergarten, and they know that they have the right (and should) report such cases to the police. In Sweden, there is such a body as the Central Board of Health and Social Protection. Every year, by his decision, families in Sweden about 12 thousand children are taken from their parents. The pretexts for this may be mistakes in education, incompetence of parents in matters of education, and even excessive guardianship.
swedes don't know what a "Swedish family" is
"IN THE CITY of Stockholm, on the most ordinary street, in the most ordinary house, lives the most ordinary Swedish family named Svanteson. This family consists of the most ordinary dad, the most ordinary mother and three of the most ordinary children - Bosse, Betan and Malysh" Astrid Lindgren, " Carlson who lives on the roof"
WHO came up with the idea that Swedish families are when there are two wives with one husband, or with two husbands - one wife, or a family of two husbands and two wives, everyone lives together and children are common? I asked the Swedes, and they raised their eyebrows in surprise, frowned, asked again without understanding, and then laughed: “Is that what they say about us in Russia? Well, well ... Of course, a husband can have a mistress, and a wife can have a lover. family ... and that it was considered a common thing and not condemned by society - this does not happen. Groupensex - it happens. But, as far as we know, you have it too. You could just as well say "American", "Dutch", "French" family Of course, 30 years ago, what you mean might have been in vogue, but now it’s out of the question.
Together - a friendly community
HOWEVER, liberated and uncomplexed Sweden at all times was distinguished by freedom of morals and democracy in gender relations. With a high degree of confidence, the Swedes can be called the pioneers of the European sexual revolution. The Swedish film "Yellow Curiosity", released in the 60s, added fuel to the fire, full of frank erotic scenes.
Recently, scandalous director Lukas Moodysson, the main hope of modern Swedish cinema, decided to turn his eyes to the era of the 70s and talk about a certain commune called "Together". Sweden, mid 1970s. Ten years of sexual freedom markedly affected the evolution of morals in a country "raped" by an economic miracle. Moodysson could be accused, if not of epigonism, then at least of secondariness, because only two years earlier Lars von Trier shot "Idiots" and, as they say, closed the topic. However, the Swede, unlike the Dane, chose a completely different intonation, offering instead of radical extremism a sentimental pastiche, nostalgic for recklessness and gaining new unusual experience.
FAMOUS Swedish journalist Per Dahlberg, who works for Radio Sweden, spoke about his experience of living in such a commune.
- In Sweden, there really is no such well-established concept as a "Swedish family" - in the sense that you mean. In the 50s, there was a designation "married or married in Stockholm." Then people lived together without signing, and this was not considered an official marriage. Further, in the 1960s and 1970s, the "leftists", closely associated with the hippie movement, brought a new shade to the so-called cohabitation. They were looking for an alternative to a normal harmonious family. It was a "red" socialist-communist movement, at that time very popular not only in Europe and Scandinavia. A direct challenge to the cell of bourgeois society and its well-being - a normal family, where the pope is the head, that is, the so-called patriarchy. We were children at that time, teenagers, and even at school this influence was noticeable. Almost everything that was masculine was considered negative, the masculine principle was laughed at, mocked. By the way, many of my friends recognized themselves and their childhood in the film "Together". I also lived in a collective or commune, call it what you will. It was in the city of Karlstad. We slept together in the same bed, although each had his own room. And, of course, nothing strange if I "was" on Monday with Sussi, and on Tuesday with Anna. The main thing is mutual desire.
We ate cereals, cheap food, didn't want to work, lived on welfare, we even had our own Ford car. It was considered "Freedom". An unavoidable side effect was the riotous flowering of venereal disease at that time. For many, this alone brought them back to “normal” at once. Another detail that subsequently had a dramatic impact on the return to the patriarchal family was a slightly different freedom, economic: the introduction in the mid-80s of insurance-paid free working days for child care for the father. Three months for dad, while we were also actively encouraged to take advantage of this opportunity. Gradually, the equalization of the rights of women and men in Sweden took such a course that both could work and pay attention to children.
Although living in a "Swedish family" in our view would probably be interesting ...
Somewhere, having heard the phrase "Swedish family", associations with traditional parents and a couple of blond children rarely arise. Most often, such a term is used as a description of several (usually three, but always more than two) sexual partners living under the same roof. So, what is the "Swedish family" really and where did the name come from?
Main version
The emancipation of the Swedes is known in many countries and mainly due to the fact that since 1955 compulsory sexual education has been introduced in their schools. Nowhere else in the world did this even occur when the inhabitants of northern Europe decided to teach their children the wisdom of carnal pleasures. Of course, if you look at the modern Swedish family in reality, you will never say that it can evoke such associations.
In Sweden, families traditionally consist of two parents of different sexes and children, and such comparisons even annoy many, or at least
conjectures
In fact, the concept of "Swedish family" (what it means is known to almost everyone) has many variants of appearance. Among the guesses of ordinary people, the version with the attribution of lovers to the family is most often found, because often women who are dissatisfied with the financial situation of their official husband resort to the financial assistance of another man. A similar situation can develop on the other hand, when a wealthy man is able to support several women and, in general, uses this.
Most often, such situations arise among celebrities and legal spouses are often aware of the love affairs of their “believers”.
Real option
In fact, one cannot say about the Swedish family as an unconventional or overly liberated unit of society. The reason for the appearance in the life of one of the spouses of a new partner is the banal lack of money for the legal dissolution of the marriage. The fact is that in Sweden this process is very expensive and most citizens simply do not marry or, if necessary, leave, remain married to one partner, and in fact cohabit with another.
In such situations, it is important for both parents to respect the rights of the child, so children are not divided there, as is customary in our country, for example. The child lives alternately with each parent and all of them are obliged to communicate well so as not to injure him. That is, a divorced Swedish family (what it really is now clear) is forced to play the role of full-fledged parents and communicate well with the new family of each spouse. For many citizens, this is at least strange, which reinforces the rumors that the Swedes are not traditional.
First representatives
The expression "Swedish family" originates from the 70s, when the youth of this particular country began to oppose traditional families, and openly cohabit with several sexual partners. Interestingly, by that time such "triangles" were not an innovation, and the first officially registered case of such cohabitation occurred in Spain at the end of the 18th century.
At that time, this case was simply outrageous, because in a Catholic conservative country such behavior was unacceptable and all participants in the “triangle” could be executed if they were not the ruling dynasty. Yes, yes, the king and queen took the young guardsman into their arms, who later was awarded a bunch of titles. One of them was even invented especially for him - the Prince of the World. Apparently, the prince had the strength and imagination to please both spouses with his presence for such a long time.
Of course, the guardsman was not seen in direct contact with the king, but the ruler himself spoke of him very tenderly and affectionately.
The appearance of the term in Russia
For the first time the concept of "Swedish family" in Russia was mentioned back in the 70s of the last century. It was then that foreign artists, films and magazines began to make their way into the expanses of the USSR closed from the outside world. Just at that time, in Sweden itself, the so-called communes were popular, consisting of several sexual partners of representatives of the "leftist" youth. At the same time, in the vastness of the Soviet state, free-form magazines and films became widespread, which reinforced the myth of the sexual emancipation of the Swedes and the widespread distribution of such non-traditional families in Europe.
At that time, popular artists who, in their understanding, were also representatives of the "Swedish family" were able to strengthen the association at that time. Everyone already knew what it was, because they sang beautiful songs about love and consisted of two loving married couples. Yes, everything is true, only these couples still changed partners once, so it’s impossible to call them true conservatives.
Conclusion
Today, almost everyone knows the answer to the question of what a “Swedish family” is, only this information is based on stereotypes and associations of past years. Now the bulk of the inhabitants of this European country is no different from their conservative neighbors, and such communes are found in isolated cases. By the way, today you can meet them in almost every country.
The very concept of a "Swedish family" is a symbol of permissiveness, not only in our country. In almost every state there is a certain expression meaning inappropriate behavior with a reference to Sweden. So in the UK, the cohabitation of several sexual partners (necessarily more than two) is called the "Swedish sin", and such a family is perceived as a symbol of debauchery.
The Swedish family is a colloquial name for a form of polyamory, which allows a person to have multiple love affairs with the consent and approval of all participants in such relationships. In practice, this implies the cohabitation of several people of different sexes, for example, one man and two women (or vice versa).It is immediately worth noting that this form of relationship does not necessarily imply group sex. This is a slightly different concept, which has a scientific name - triolism. Relations in a Swedish family can be very different - banal affection, friendship, platonic love or rivalry.
Swedish families are not as rare as it might seem at first glance. This form of human relationships is quite widely represented in various works of literature and cinema. The most famous films: "Dreamers" dir. Bernardo Bertolucci, The Third Meshchanskaya, dir. Abram Roma, "Jules and Jim" dir. François Truffaut.
By the way, such a designation as a "Swedish family" is found only in Russia and some other states of the post-Soviet space. In most European countries, a term is used that, literally translated from French, means housekeeping for three.
Birth of a stereotype
Where this term came from in the conservative Soviet Union is not known for certain, but in the 70s of the last century the concept of "Swedish family" was the main synonym for Sweden throughout the entire USSR. There was a stereotype that in this mysterious Scandinavian country, cohabitation of several couples is quite common.Perhaps the whole point is in the wave of the sexual revolution that reached the union and rumors about representatives of the leftist Swedish youth, who in those years did not differ in puritanical behavior and behaved very frivolously. Scandinavian hippies did not recognize any family values \u200b\u200band moral principles. Some of them really lived in groups, peculiar communes, promoting free love. In the same years, the mega-popular Swedish musical group ABBA, consisting of 2 married couples, appeared on TV screens. They sang about love so sweetly that Soviet citizens could not help but believe them.
Of course, it is difficult to call the Swedes conservatives in an intimate sense. This is the only country in the world where sexual literacy began to be taught in schools in the early 1950s. Communication of spouses after divorces and joint pastime of "new" and "old" families for liberated Swedes is a common thing. But it would be a big exaggeration to say that in terms of building family relationships, they are somewhat different from other Europeans.
Olga, 27, told the site how she lived in an apartment with two men, each of whom was her lover.
When I was 22, I got a new boyfriend. Let's call him T. He came to our city from another country to enter the medical school, but did not pass the competition because of his poor knowledge of Russian and stayed for a year at preparatory courses.
From the moment they met, T. behaved very modestly and was noticeably shy. He even blushed when he accidentally touched me. It all looked very funny. I think he himself did not really understand how handsome: blue eyes, long black eyelashes, slightly dark skin. I told him he looked more like an actor than a medical student, but he probably thought I was joking. Our dates were the most chaste. In my opinion, he kissed me only at the third meeting, and then on my initiative. I definitely wanted more. Somewhere in a month of our platonic relationship, I could not stand it and asked for it to go to his house.
It was winter, I froze and directly offered to go to him. He refused, saying that he did not live alone, but I insisted, and we took a taxi. He rented a beautiful three-room apartment in a new building. I shot not alone, but with an acquaintance from his hometown - O. The acquaintance was over 30, and he had lived in Russia for several years. T. introduced us to each other, and I immediately liked O. very much. He was very open and sociable, unlike the shy T. There was football on TV, they were showing some kind of match that they both wanted to watch, and I had to keep them company.
We drank beer and chatted about something. At some point, I felt O.'s hand on my thigh. He seemed to accidentally touch me, but did not withdraw his hand, but began to lightly stroke me. If we were alone at that moment, I would kiss him with pleasure, but I came with T., and decided to kiss him. He was taken aback, but responded to my caresses. I kissed him again and again, and O. continued to stroke me unnoticed by T. At this "party" ended. To my dismay, T. did not offer me to stay with them, but called a taxi home. I don't know what exactly I was expecting, but obviously not such a denouement.
The next time I was back at their house, T. and I finally broke our “chastity vow” and had sex. It wasn't that bad, but it certainly wasn't great. While T. admitted that I was almost his first, I imagined in my fantasies how I would go out into the kitchen in one T-shirt and meet O. There I did not meet. Although he knew that I stayed with them.
I spent the night in this apartment more and more often, and it already began to seem to me that I invented the story with football and secret caresses for myself, because O. simply greeted me and asked at most if we needed anything to buy for dinner.
There was a party at their house one weekend. I drank too much and the next time I ran into O., I dragged him into the bathroom. He closed the door and kissed me. We kissed for quite some time and I still remember how great it was. I wanted him so much that I agreed to his offer to come to them when T. was at school. In general, this is how O. and I slept together and started dating T. behind his back.
O. was super in everything, but one could not expect romance from him. No tender words, confessions, compliments. Just sex, although very cool. T., on the contrary, bombarded me with messages with poems in English, constantly saying how beautiful I am, how much he loves me. I don't think he knew anything until one day he caught O. and I kissing in the kitchen. He cried, asked me to confess whether we had something with his friend or not, and I told him almost everything. Declared that I like O., and I can not choose one of them.
I expected him to get angry and send me to hell, but T. asked me not to leave him, saying that he loved and wanted to be with me. I jokingly said: let's try to live together, so that it would be easier for me to decide. And he agreed! So I settled in their living room.
This whole situation worried me in a good way. I felt like a femme fatale, I wanted to try something new, and I was ready to experiment. Now I think that O. was not happy with my move, but then this thought did not occur to me.
We didn't have any rules or meeting schedule. Everything happened naturally and without conflict. Sex with T. even got better, perhaps because he continued to be jealous of me. But O. was not at all jealous, he always behaved a little aloof, which attracted me all the more.
We didn't have any domestic problems. They bought food, I cooked, cleanliness was maintained by a visiting cleaner. It used to be fun to hang up our clothes after washing, like I had two husbands.
We lived together for almost half a year, even T. managed to get used to our trio, although he continued to be nervous. I think he was a little mentally masochistic, so he didn't leave me. In part, I understand him, because I myself suffered when O. brought other girls home. It didn't happen often, but it hurt my self-esteem.
In general, T. and I suffered in our trio, but O. simply enjoyed life. I did not arrange a showdown with him, I only made fun of his tastes in regard to female beauty.
It all ended when I realized that he was serious with one of them. How serious could it be in the case of O. The girl began to stay with us for the night several times a week and even tried to make friends with me, being sure that I was dating only T. I tolerated this, but one day O. refused me sex , said he was not in the mood. And that was the end of our already not very fun romance. The situation began to seem like a farce to me: T. runs after me, I run after O., and O. does not run after anyone. He does not care. I left them without explanation, just said that I was no longer interested in continuing. O. calmly said goodbye to me, T. offered to rent an apartment and live together. I did not agree, and we broke up, although he tried to return me for a long time.
