• How to regain a man’s interest in himself, advice from a psychologist. How to regain your husband's interest: secrets of experienced wives

    26.07.2019

    If your life has become more dreary than Mongolian melodies, and your beloved man is only interested in you when you need to put a plate of borscht on the dinner table, it’s time to revive this rotten family swamp.

    Those who firmly believe that in order to regain their husband’s interest, it is enough to meet him in a fur coat once naked body, we have to disappoint you - you won’t get off that easy:

    Work on your appearance

    15 years ago you ran on a date with your husband in a cute dress, “breathing perfume and mists,” and now you scare him at home with a stretched out T-shirt or a greasy robe? Do not do it this way!

    After all, he walks your streets, surfs the Internet, and visits his friends. And everywhere he is surrounded by well-groomed beauties of all ages and body types. We will have to enter into an unequal battle with all these beauties.

    But my husband's interest is worth it, right?

    And in general, life usually gives more pleasant surprises young ladies with toned abs and French manicure than girls a la Katya Pushkareva:

    Work on your intelligence.

    Tell me honestly, can you maintain an intelligible conversation with your husband about something other than utility prices? Oh, excuse me, excuse me, there is also a signature pie recipe, your favorite television shows and the fascinating life of your hated neighbor Irka. Have we forgotten anything?

    And your husband really wants you not to blink your eyes like a cow in a meadow when he talks about marketing strategies in his own company. And he is also not averse to philosophizing about the meaning of life, looking at night.

    So if you want to warm up your husband’s interest in you, exchange Daria Dontsova’s romance for “ A short story Universe" by Stephen Hawking, Malakhov's show - on documentaries National Geograchic, and a video with cats from a TED lecture.

    Those who are especially diligent can master the game of billiards, and even better, chess.

    Eliminate "jambs" in the household.

    It is difficult for a husband to show interest in his wife on a sofa littered with unironed linen. And a mountain of unwashed dishes along with an empty refrigerator also does not set the mood for a romantic mood.

    After 23.00, turn into a sexy little thing for your husband, and not into a hippopotamus with a green clay mask on your face.

    From now on, if you want to regain your husband’s interest, the entire beauty routine should be securely hidden from male eyes (the bathroom is exactly for this purpose).

    And even if you and your husband don’t have anything particularly interesting planned for the night, you need to go to bed in cute pajamas or a silk slip, but certainly not in a worn flannelette shirt that you inherited from your grandmother;

    Find yourself new hobbies.

    What can light up the eyes of any young lady? No, the correct answer is not the 35th gold ring or a shot of tequila. These are short-term measures. But what will help a woman truly glow is doing activities she enjoys. You can knit, weave bast shoes, or play on a washboard - just to get a kick out of it.

    A self-sufficient woman who lives an interesting life has no need to think about how to regain her husband’s interest - let him “worry” about how to keep up with such a bright wife in life.

    IN Spoil your husband with pleasant surprises from time to time.

    A 40-year-old friend of the author of the article, Tatyana, has been putting love notes in her husband’s lunch box every day for 10 years now. At the same time, as a candidate of philological sciences, he considers it his duty not to repeat himself. Ask if your husband is tired of it?

    “What are you talking about! I feel chosen. Show me another man who has been married for 10 years in a row Love letters writes. And in general – envy in silence!” – Valentin jokes.

    You can adopt Tanya’s idea, but even better - come up with something of your own - pancakes in the morning, sweet text messages, romantic dinner for no particular reason and other “cute things”. Your husband's interest is guaranteed.

    Sing your husband's praises.

    Do you want to regain your husband's interest? Then show him that only you are capable of so highly appreciating fried potatoes cooked with love (even if half the kitchen curtain burned in the process), a tidy apartment (to hell with him, with a cat screaming on the chandelier) and hard-earned money (exactly one more). Italian boot).

    Such emotional support stimulates the husband to new achievements better than a couple of liters of energy drink. And next time your husband will cook for you not potatoes, but roast in plum sauce. Why not interest in your person?

    3 things you both will have to do to “reanimate” love

    We are not going to force your husband to dance with a tambourine by the fire, but he will have to work a little harder to regain interest in you:

    You and your husband cannot do without a shared hobby.

    The author of the article knows one wonderful couple who acquired fitness bracelets and competed with each other to see who walked the most kilometers in a day. Further - more: in this house they believed in proper nutrition and daily routine.

    So now Oleg and Valeria, with their toned figures and radiant appearance, are driving those with beer bellies into depression.

    Needless to say, Lera doesn’t need to think too much about how to regain her husband’s interest. Such a beauty interests not only him, but also other people’s husbands within a radius of three kilometers;

    Share news, experiences, thoughts so that interest in each other does not disappear.

    Gentlemen, God gave man speech precisely so that they would learn to quickly understand each other. And nothing unites and brings back interest in each other like intimate conversations late into the night in the kitchen or on the bank of the river. And if all this “blunder” is also a shame, it will be simply “bombshell”!

    However, we warn you right away: sometimes you will have to listen not only to your husband’s tenderness about “roses and frosts,” but also to a half-hour chat about a tyrant chef, a pike that got off the hook, and a new version of a computer game.

    Consider it an investment of time to regain your husband's interest.

    WITH make speech when talking to each other.

    And we are not talking about the correct emphasis in words, but about not insulting each other.

    Agree, the phrases “Forget it, let’s buy a new cup!” and “Enough already! Why are you so handy!” they sound completely different.

    Now the husband, who was expecting another “brainwash,” looks invitingly towards the marital bedroom. And that’s right - the fragments will wait.

    And as a result of many hours of gatherings in cafes with friends and liters of coffee (hello, angina!).

    Have you already learned something interesting?

    Secrets of experienced wives: 3 tips on how to regain your husband's interest

    Real “Stepford wives” use the following secret techniques to regain their husband’s interest:

    AND Sometimes they press the “Jealousy” button.

    Is your handsome colleague such an insensitive blockhead that he will refuse to give you a ride home on a rainy day? And then the idle gossips on the bench will do their job - they will convey invaluable information to your husband about your inappropriate behavior. So let him suffer, what and how, show interest...

    But there are also no less attractive neighbors, former classmates and other good-looking male representatives.

    N let a little fog around them.

    To keep your husband's interest, do not report to him, like a recruit to a general, about every second of the past day. And there’s probably no need to talk about two mojitos at the bar either. Like what your amazing beautiful eyes- not a gift from nature, but the result of eyelash lamination in the nearest salon.

    “Rarely, but accurately” they push their husbands on an emotional swing.

    A character as smooth as the surface of water is, of course, wonderful from the point of view of the mother-in-law, but terribly boring for the husband.

    Try to play with your mood a little if you want to regain your husband’s interest: today you are unapproachable The Snow Queen, tomorrow - a naughty girl, the day after tomorrow - a discreet lady. It is not necessary to rent appropriate costumes.

    This is what a set of rules from psychologists and experienced wives looks like for those who are concerned about the issue: “How to regain my husband’s interest?”. The mission, frankly speaking, is not easy, but very doable.

    How to return your husband's interest if he has clearly lost interest in you?

    So arm yourself with our advice and lace stockings - the family boat should not crash on household appliances!

    Long after life together, two people in love may begin to have some problems in terms of interest in their other half. Your husband doesn't pay enough attention to you, doesn't notice you, or simply turns away. Let's talk about how to get your husband's attention back?

    Psychologists recommend looking at your life and understanding whether your husband has really lost interest in you or whether you are just screwing yourself over. If your husband really has lost interest in you, then you need to completely change your life together.

    How to understand that your man has really cooled off?

    1. The man you love has forgotten about compliments, is not interested in how your day went, and has stopped making even the most insignificant surprises and giving gifts. Here you need to understand that men cannot so easily lose the desire to do something nice for their woman, so you need to act.

    2. In the company of friends, he is always cheerful, sociable and attentive. But alone with you he is angry and cold, does not show interest or signs of attention.

    3. He stopped worrying, calling and writing. The man does not want to carry on a conversation with you and avoids meeting you.

    4. Your sex has become very rare and uninitiative. A man has accepted the role of a woman and is looking for many excuses not to make love to you. Here you need to seriously think and start changing your life!

    How to get your husband's attention back to you?

    Let's look at the basic tips on how to regain interest in the man you love so that he wants and loves you again?

    1. Recognition

    You can accept the fact that most men eventually stop giving compliments, gifts and other niceties. Today, men come home from work, watch TV, surf the Internet and are not at all interested in everything that happens around them.

    2. New look

    Go to the mirror and look closely at yourself: you must make sure that your married life has not affected your appearance. If she influenced, even very strongly, then you need to change your image. Go shopping and buy beautiful and sexy things. It is also recommended to buy a subscription to the gym, swimming pool, fitness and others.

    Get back your old self beautiful view the one you had before married life. Men love well-groomed girls who take care of themselves and if you appear before him in a completely new image, he will definitely pay attention to you. Perhaps this is the reason.

    3. Sleepwear

    Before you go to bed, try to wear something beautiful and sexy. underwear. This should grab your loved one's attention. Go to the store and buy some lace negligees that should make a man want them.

    Forget about robes and pajamas, change these clothes to a more attractive one.

    4. Make him jealous

    This method is not very reliable, since the man can get very angry, but it helps many. Make your husband or loved one jealous. Do everything within reason and maybe your loved one will feel threatened and understand what he could lose.

    It is worth understanding that many men are very tired at work, when they come home They only want attention or rest. There is no need to criticize them often because they forgot to do some housework or stopped paying attention to you. Communication is key here - pour 2 glasses of wine in the evening, prepare delicious snacks and just talk about everything that worries you, it really helps.

    One of the common causes of relationship breakdown is boredom. As the emotional intensity gradually subsides and the partners get used to being together, a routine is born. It begins to seem that you know everything about each other, and you can no longer surprise your loved one with anything. How to regain a man's interest in yourself?

    Let's figure out why this feeling occurs, how to deal with it, and whether you need to always be new and unexpected for your lover. Let's try to understand how, after you have gone through fire, water and copper pipes together, you can remain attractive and interesting to a man.

    Why is interest important in relationships?

    Is it worth worrying at all if you have the feeling that your loved one’s interest in you is decreasing? On the one hand, this is a natural process - the closer you become to each other, the better you understand your man, and he, in turn, you. And returning to the stage of initial recognition and the highest point of attraction becomes more and more difficult over the years.

    Balance is important in relationships. Intimacy and personal space, stages of violent passion, emotional storms and calms. If you feel like your man is no longer interested in you, check if your suspicions are true. How long has this been happening, what are the external circumstances all this time, how has his attitude towards you changed during this period. And only after that draw conclusions and start working on the situation.

    Signs that a man is starting to lose interest

    How to understand that a man’s interest is melting, especially in situations where at first glance it seems that everything is fine in the relationship? After all, when it gets to the point where they stop answering your calls and start avoiding meetings (if we are talking about the beginning of a relationship), or (if we are talking about marriage), it will become much more difficult to regain a man’s attention and attraction to you.

    In the initial stages of a relationship

    He does not (stopped showing) initiative. You don't feel like you're getting closer, you find it difficult to find a topic to talk about. He no longer admires you - your appearance, your humor, the thoughts you share, the actions you take. He does not respond to requests for help, brushes aside your emotions, and does not offer solutions to issues in which you ask for advice or support. A man's eyes don't light up when he looks at you.

    In life together or in marriage

    Why does the news of a husband’s mistress come as a shock to many wives? Because, living with him, being, it would seem, his closest person, they manage not to notice that they are no longer interesting to their man, that the focus of his attention has partially or completely shifted to another woman.

    By what signs can a woman understand that something is wrong in her relationship with her husband, even if at first glance everything is fine?

    Increased attention

    We need to create a space of interest in each other. A very simple recipe to regain the interest of your beloved man is to regain your own interest in him. Do you know what his thoughts are, what he dreams about, what he wants? From relationships, from life, from yourself? Do you know or think you know?

    We are interested in those who are interested in ourselves. If it seems to you that your husband is not paying enough attention to you, ask yourself whether you are paying him attention, and is this the attention he needs? Does he now need you, or does he need to move away a little for some personal reasons?

    If you want to be sensitive to yourself, become sensitive to him, and the interest will return, just as it never disappeared. Sensitive does not mean imposing yourself and your support. This means responding to his need for you at the moment when it arises, and receding into the background when necessary.

    Finally

    Getting a man's interest back often means getting your own interest back in him. In relationships, periods of revival are naturally replaced by periods of emotional calm, a kind of distance from each other. This is not the end of the world or a tragedy - don’t panic and don’t create scandals and scenes, it’s better to direct these efforts to learning or mastering something new that you can later interest your man in. And remember that both situations and people are different, and you need to start from individual characteristics and the qualities of your partner, and not from your own.

    If you want to be with the man you love, you need to figure out whether you are compatible according to your zodiac sign?

    Find out your exact compatibility with a man by clicking on the button below.

    The topic is very difficult - otherwise there would not be so many divorces, betrayals and unhappy families. Answer to the question “How to regain my husband’s interest?” is possible only if there is love, even if it is deeply asleep. If she also left, then—I don’t like the word “impossible”—the complexity increases significantly. A good deal won’t be called marriage - that’s the truth. We should all remember this when deciding to take this step, and not keep in mind the example of rare exceptions about which we still do not fully know everything. Almost all fairy tales end with a wedding and there is no word about what happened after, other than “they lived happily ever after.” At the same time, it is necessary to clearly distinguish between the concepts - to return (or maintain the interest) of the husband, as a man to a woman; return or maintain the husband's interest in his wife; how to save a family and your husband’s interest in the family is with you. There is a huge difference between the first, second and third. And the fact that we don’t see it is one of the main reasons for our mistakes.

    The difference between keeping your husband interested in you as a WOMAN and keeping him interested in you as a WIFE is that the fundamentals are different. In the first case, the wife is simultaneously a wife, a sexual object, a lover and the only woman. In the second case, the wife is simply main woman in a man’s life, sexual interest, love, even passion may remain in her, but the only woman she won't. No matter what anyone says, for a man the concept of “wife” is very strong - unless, of course, we are talking about a union of mature individuals, and not young people who want to play family or get married on the fly. Since men do not have such a pursuit of status and they are not as much “brainwashed” as we are, they approach marriage a little more consciously. Not every woman can become a wife - even though great love. And that is why love and passion are not the strengths of a woman in marriage (although without them things are bad). A woman must realize this when getting married - that with marriage she acquires a status and a certain role in a man’s life, which will now come first before everything else. And this is good. If a man proposes, guided primarily by love or only by love, then such a marriage will be happy exactly until his next love. At 25 years old, a man still has a long way to go whole life, 25-30 years of which he will definitely experience different degrees of hobbies. I’m not talking about betrayal now, for now I’m just talking about the fact that a lot will happen – even if only in thoughts. The same thing will happen to you. Maybe to a slightly lesser extent - because a significant part of the thoughts will be occupied by children, but still. Think about it - you won’t be able to be the most-loved-desired-only one, as you were at the beginning of the relationship. But if you are smart and loving husband, you will never feel that anything has changed.

    In marriage, you will have more “everyday life”, worries, less sex - unless, of course, your husband has such a sexual constitution that he needs 2 times every day, and also squeeze the secretary in the corridor, because “his loins are burning.” And this is normal, this is life, you have to be prepared for this. Here we come to the second part of the topic - that a man and a woman have different goals in marriage. A girl gets married for the sake of stability - it only seems that in order to live with her beloved all her life and share joys and troubles. All this too, but after stability, proof that you are the one - after all, you were chosen as his wife among all his previous girls, and safety, security. Then it’s “until death do us part.” And then, if this point is not ahead of the notorious “ticking clock”, give birth as soon as possible. A man, if he does not belong to the narrow circle of those who are supposed to have a family by status, gets married primarily based on feelings. Hence the main problem of all couples - we enter into marriage guided by different goals, and therefore do not allow our other half to be what he/she wants. Family is not stability or love; first of all, it is a distribution of roles. You are a husband - that means you are a breadwinner, a father, earn money, provide, spend weekends with your family, pay attention to your children and forget about your wants and hobbies. You are a wife - that means cook, clean, do the laundry, it doesn’t matter that you’re tired after work, take care of the children, manage the house wisely, be kind to relatives and friends and forget about your wants and hobbies. Terrible? Terrible. How about trying something different? Let me tell you a secret - everyone gets married, promising themselves and those around them that they will not nag their husband or offend their wife, or forbid each other anything, that they will have common interests, trust and they will together meet all adversities. How many people succeed in the end? That's it.

    Marriage is daily work. You heard it. But have you ever wondered what exactly this work is about? After all, it’s not about staying beautiful, cooking deliciously, being in good mood and have joint affairs. Marriage is, first of all, working on yourself, the ability to pull yourself in time, control, and think about what is happening. Also the ability to sacrifice a lot. Don't you have the best picture of married life? The way it is. When they tell you that you shouldn’t rush there, they are not lying to you. In general, marriage is primary, love is secondary. People entered into marriage out of necessity, calculation and other reasons, and only recently they sweetened the pill and allowed it to be done taking into account feelings. Why was this not allowed before, and in some countries it is still not allowed - parents choose a wife and husband? Because feelings are not the basis. And inexperienced young people are unable to build a solid foundation on them, while simultaneously maintaining love and experiencing irritation from all sorts of problems. A person grows up, changes, his feelings change - he can “grow out” of his childhood love. That's why they're so fragile early marriages. And all this must be taken into account; all this has an impact on married life. It would be logical to say - if you want to maintain the severity of feelings, do not get married. But this is impossible. And it’s not all bad, it’s difficult, yes, but nothing is impossible.

    I can't give you a universal recipe for maintaining love and interest in your marriage, but I can point out a few points that are worth paying attention to.

    1.Your family should always come first. Parents - later. Don't let them interfere with your family, even if you are sure that they want the best. Don't take on their problems. If you are not Abramovich, you will not be able to provide decent life to all your close people, no matter how much you want it. You have your own children - they are your priority. Parents at one time were young, healthy and had to think and take care of how they would live in old age. No one says that you should forget them or not help, but everything should be in moderation and not to the detriment of your family.

    2. Husband/wife should be a priority over children. Do not let children become more important to you, except for the first 2 years of a child’s life. You are more important to each other. Children are the result of your union, and you did not come together in order to have children. If you live by the principle “husbands come and go, but children are forever,” then my article is not for you. Don’t read it and then don’t be surprised by the collapse of your family. Moreover, children leave in the same way - to their own families.

    3. Do not decide for your spouse what is best for him and what is right for your family. All issues are resolved jointly. Either they are not resolved, or the agreements are not preserved - well, then the question is whether such a marriage should be preserved.

    4. Don't try to instill your values. This should have been done BEFORE the wedding. And by signing a marriage certificate, you automatically accept the person as he is. So you shouldn’t have questions: “I’m a believer, but my husband is not, how can I convert him?” “How to convince your husband to communicate more with his son, and not disappear at work?” The husband himself will decide what is more important to him - at work he earns money for your family and good life son. So he thinks that this is more important. The main thing is that he tells you about it.

    5. Stop going crazy over common interests. After all, that's what friends are for. In a family, the harmonious coexistence of different hobbies is more important than forced joint activities.

    6. Every marriage - with rare exceptions - has its crises. This is a natural process. I'll tell you about it another time.

    7. There is a very difficult point, which is that, on the one hand, there is no “I”, there is only “we” - this is very unpleasant, but there is no other way, because each family member is responsible to the others. You cannot spend money thoughtlessly or carelessly about your health - because the burden of caring for you will fall on others. On the other hand, constantly following common interests to the detriment of one’s own is depressing to the point of impossibility.

    In marriage, two different and independent individuals coexist and have obligations to each other. Golden mean very difficult to bear. There is only one way out - both to develop, both to move forward, then at least you can minimize the suffering from the fact that “your husband has changed so much.” You yourself have changed. It is impossible to live your whole life with the roles of “I give birth and raise, you take care and provide.”

    To support them, it is important to be interesting to your spouse. And not only sexually, but also intellectually.

    Cleanliness every day

    It’s not for nothing that they say that representatives of the stronger sex love with their eyes. That is why it is important to be desirable to your husband in this regard, always taking care of your appearance. You shouldn’t even walk around the house in dirty and stretched clothes, with unwashed hair or peeling nail polish. Even despite his feelings, a man may get tired of this picture over time, especially if he is surrounded by ladies “on parade” at work.

    Men find themselves outside of our interests, and therefore they themselves lose interest. It is important to give enough importance to your personal life. Let's watch the video!

    Seductiveness

    Well, from time to time it’s generally useful to wear some exciting male gaze outfit, and under the dress - stockings and stilettos. Then your partner will begin to admire you, and not other women. In addition, using beautiful outfit, makeup and hair styling can attract the attention of other men, which means you can show your husband that you are still desirable to other representatives of the stronger sex.

    Experiments in bed

    It is worth updating periodically and intimate life with her husband, listening to his and your desires. Even just new beautiful underwear can arouse the interest of your spouse, especially if you demonstrate it unobtrusively and at the right moment.

    Sincere interest

    However, only one beautiful appearance It’s not enough to interest your husband for a long time, because he will simply get used to the way you look over time. That is why it is necessary for your spouse to be interested in communicating with you. It is easier to achieve this if you know the nuances of his work activities. Then he will be able, if necessary, to discuss problems at work with you or get practical advice from you.

    Ability to carry on a conversation

    It is equally important that you yourself have something to tell your husband, and not only about various women's things or children, but about what might be interesting to him. For example, about books, music, football, cars, art, computers, etc., depending on his and your hobbies. The ideal option is when both spouses can discover something new and exciting for each other.

    Independence

    To interest your husband, you should also be independent and self-sufficient. You should also have your own personal life, activities that you like, hobbies. Then you will have a reason to brag about your small or big victories to your husband, and he will have a reason to be proud of you and tell his colleagues and friends about your achievements. But the main thing is that you do something for yourself, and not in order to keep your spouse.

    A little provocation

    It is important to let your husband know that you love him very much, appreciate him, and he and the children are at the top of your list of interests, but you also have other things to do. There is no need to constantly call your spouse, asking what he is doing and whether he ate on time. Sometimes it’s useful not to even “notice” a message or call from your husband in order to regain his interest and make him think about himself once again. However, you should not play such games often - this can lead to a quarrel.

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