Little is known about the moral standards that reigned in Rus' before the adoption of Christianity. Scientists-historians and philologists learn some things from ancient chronicles and birch bark letters, but they only guess about other things, relying on legends, songs, epics and even nursery rhymes.
In pagan Rus', brides were simply kidnapped
Thanks to the Tale of Bygone Years of the 12th century, it is known that in pagan Rus', before baptism, there was a custom of “kidnapping the bride from the waters” - that is, stealing a girl or woman at the moment when she went to a lake or river for water by prior agreement with the bride.
This method of marriage was carried out for several months a year: they began to “kidnap the girls” in the spring on the holiday of Lada, the pagan goddess of the hearth, and ended on Ivan Kupala.
Such “marriage” was greatly facilitated by pagan festivities, and both unmarried girls and married matrons took part in them - Abbot Panfil wrote about this with bitterness (“Message on the Kupala Night”); It is quite natural that at this moment it was convenient to “kidnap” the bride he liked.
It is difficult to judge what the age at which women entered into marriage in pagan Rus' was, but historians are inclined to believe that on average it was 13-14 years old - the age of physical maturation of a girl.
And later they “brought” him to her husband
The author of the work “Women of Ancient Rus'” Natalya Lvovna Pushkareva, who in Russia is considered the founder of the Russian school of historical feminology, writes that in the 8th century women in Rus' were not the object of violence and had the right to choose their husband, giving personal consent to “kidnapping” .
However, this custom was soon replaced by the violent theft of women, and perhaps in connection with this, a tradition arose of limiting a woman’s freedom - her parents found a husband for her, and the wife was “brought” to her husband.
At first this spread among the princes: this is exactly how the Prophetic Oleg “brought” a wife to his pupil Prince Igor: “Igor grew up...< ...>...and brought him a wife from Plesokva, named Olga.” Prince Svyatoslav also “brings” his Greek wife to his son Yaropolk: “Yaroslav has a Greek wife... …. his father Svyatoslav brought him,” as the chronicles write.
Among common people, the custom of “wife abduction” survived until the 15th century, along with other remnants of paganism - sorcery and idol worship.
The bride becomes betrothed
The adoption of Orthodoxy by Russia entailed a complication of the marriage ritual - a preliminary conspiracy of relatives, matchmaking, and betrothal appeared, after which the young man and girl became the bride and groom before people and before God. Several years could pass from the agreement to the wedding, such synonyms for the word “bride” as “betrothed” or “betrothed” appeared,
In the 14th–15th centuries, the Russian Orthodox Church was forced to issue a decree stating that it was unacceptable to marry girls under 12 years of age.
Perhaps early marriages were also associated with survival, when parents in a poor family could not feed their children and got rid of extra mouths by giving girls away in marriage. This could not have a positive effect on women’s life expectancy - early childbirth led to complications, “puerperal fever” and the death of young mothers.
Early marriage as salvation
In the Middle Ages in Rus', girls were married off from the age of 12 to 18-19; in the peasant community, an unmarried 16-year-old girl was already considered “old.” It is interesting that the church entrusted the parents with the responsibility of arranging their daughter’s personal life - if the girl remained an old maid, they could be fined.
However, the parents were also responsible when choosing a groom: if a girl was forced into marriage and after that she took her own life, they could be asked, and it would be good if they got off with just a fine.
The youngest bride
According to the chronicles, in the 12th century, the bride of the Polish prince Boleslav was an eight-year-old princess from the Rurik family, the daughter of Prince Vsevolod Mstislavich from Novgorodat - Verkhuslav.
True, the child was not given to the prince; the marriage took place only in 1137, when the girl was 12 years old. The marriage was quite successful - in the end, Verkhuslava became the Grand Duchess (her husband Boleslav became the Grand Duke of Poland, taking control of Silesia) and gave birth to her husband three children - two sons and a daughter, but did not live long and left this world at 37 years old.
But there was another bride, who was only five at the time of engagement! We are talking about the five-year-old daughter of Tver Prince Boris Alexandrovich, who, for political reasons, betrothed his daughter Maria to the young son of the Grand Duke of Moscow Vasily II the Dark, Ivan III, the future sovereign and Grand Duke of All Rus'; the groom was only seven years old.
The betrothal of seven-year-old Ivan to Maria took place in Tver and was accompanied by celebrations: the local bishop Elijah and all the princes and boyars who were under the authority of Prince Boris were present here. The groom's side was attended by his father and many boyars from Moscow. “And the Tferichi rejoiced... and the Tpherichi rejoiced, as Tpher Moscow and the two sovereigns united together,” wrote the chronicler Monk Thomas in a laudatory word to Prince Boris.
The young couple got married in 1452 in Moscow, when the bride was barely 10 years old, and Ivan III was 12. The young couple did not have a child right away; Maria gave birth in 1458, when she was 16 years old, which was considered the norm in those days.
Her son Ivan was an appanage prince of Tver, more than once accompanied his father on campaigns and died in 1490 from “ache in his legs.”
After the birth of her son, Maria lived another 9 years and died from poisoning. The poisoners were never found; perhaps the cause of death was a quarrel between women in the family.
The youngest bride of Rus' was buried in the Ascension Monastery on the territory of the Kremlin. Chronicles spoke of her as a quiet, calm and very educated young woman, an excellent needlewoman - a church shroud embroidered by the young wife of Ivan III, who, having grieved, soon married Sophia Paleolog, has been preserved.
Abu Umar:There was a lot of talk here about the fact that the Prophet (alayhi sallallahu vassalam) married Aisha (radiallahu anha) when she was 6 years old and began family life with her, when she was 9...
Out of curiosity, I decided to see how this matter stood in Rus'... it turned out to be quite interesting. It turns out that the usual age for girls to get married was 12 years old.
http://nedorazvmenie.livejournal.com/1071838.html
As for the age of the brides, at the beginning of the 18th century. An attempt was made to move away from the old tradition of a low marriageable age for brides: the Decree on Single Inheritance of 1714 defined 17 years as the age limit for girls at marriage. However, the custom of getting married early, at the age of 12, when girls were not independent and dependent not only on the will, but also on the everyday experience of their parents, continued to persist, despite any decrees. Church rules they continued to oblige “relatives” to marry girls and children in general without delay, as soon as they “come of age”: “It is fitting for every parent to marry his son when he is 15 years old and his daughter is 12 years old.” Thus, the decree raising the marriageable age of brides to 17 years violated not only tradition, but also the church (Byzantine) rule of law. As in the 17th century, in the time of Peter the Great, few people observed the legal regulations on the marriageable age of brides.
In the middle, and especially at the end of the 18th century, the discrepancy between tenacious tradition and legislation became especially obvious. The decree of the Synod of 1774 returned to the old practice, lowering the age of marriage for girls to 13 years. Peter's innovation turned out to be unviable: the majority of nobles, not to mention other classes, chose for themselves in the 18th century. 12–13 year old women. The famous memoirist Andrei Bolotov said that he wooed a 12-year-old bride and got married a year after the matchmaking. Prince Yuri Dolgoruky married an eleven-year-old girl. The Danish ambassador Just Yul noted in his notes that the wife of the governor with whom he was visiting was not even 12. Similar messages can be found in letters from the secretary of the English embassy L. Weisbrod. Even Peter I himself announced the coming of age of his daughter Elizabeth (the future ruler of Russia) when she turned 12 years old. What can we say about “ordinary” subjects! At the “tender” age of 12 years old, she married the famous scientist A.M. Karmyshev A.E. Labzin, E.P. Yankova’s grandmother was Princess Meshcherskaya, and Mrs. Lafon, a teacher at the Smolny Institute. Examples can be easily multiplied: 26-year-old nobleman G.S. Vinsky married a 15-year-old girl; his contemporary E.R. Dashkova wrote that “at the age of 15 she fell in love and got married,” giving birth in due date first child, at 16 years old - second. At the age of 22, she was already a widow (Ekaterina Romanovna’s mother, by the way, also married Prince Dashkov when she was 15).
Here's another:
http://ricolor.org/history/rt/os/1/
According to ancient Russian laws and customs, it was possible to get married at the age of 15, and to get married at the age of 12. Upon reaching marriageable age, the boy’s parents began searching for a bride. Having found her, they sent matchmakers from among their friends or acquaintances to the girl’s parents or relatives to find out whether they wanted to marry her off and how much of a dowry they would give for her. If the girl’s relatives did not want to marry her to this person, they would make some excuse and refuse. But if they said that they would think about it and then give an answer, consent to the marriage was received.
In Rus', it was customary for young people to marry early “so as not to be spoiled.” It happened that the groom's age was from 12 to 13 years. When getting married early, it was completely natural that the bride and groom did not know each other before marriage. At all moral concepts At that time, young people of both sexes were not allowed to see each other and negotiate with each other. The groom did not even dare to say that he wanted to get married; everything was decided by his relatives.
Usually, the fathers and mothers of the groom personally chose the girl, informing their sons about this when the wedding was already being prepared.
But sometimes, the first step began on the part of the bride’s parents. Wanting to sell their daughter, the parents sent a person close to them to the groom as a matchmaker; if the groom's parents agreed, then they proceeded to matchmaking in the usual manner. She looked to see if the bride was good-looking, smart, “whether she was speechless and full of speech in everything.” There were cases that if the daughter was not beautiful, then another or even a maid was brought instead. The groom himself could not see the bride before the wedding. If the deception with the bride was subsequently discovered, the marriage could be dissolved, but this happened very rarely.
Sometimes the groom insisted on seeing the bride himself; if they valued the groom, they could allow it, but then it was almost impossible for him to get away with it. After the review, a conspiracy took place - the first part of the marriage celebration or the introduction to the celebration. The arranged day was appointed by the bride's parents. The parents sat opposite each other and were silent for several minutes, as was customary. An agreement was drawn up, a series of notes were written, which indicated that at such and such a time the wedding would take place, and the bride would have such a dowry.
A dowry has always been an important condition of a Russian wedding; it included: bed, dresses, household utensils and jewelry, people, money, real estate. Nothing was required from the groom. This conspiracy had legal significance. If the bride was from a poor family and could not bring a dowry into the house, then the groom himself “made the dowry” or transferred a certain amount of money to the bride’s parents - an ancient custom did not allow taking a bride without a dowry.
On the morning of the celebration (sometimes the day before), the bride's matchmaker went to the groom's house to prepare the wedding bed. There was a belief that dashing sorcerers and witches could bring damage and drive evil spirits into the house where the wedding was being held. Various measures were taken against this. The hay barn, often unheated, was chosen as the wedding room. Chests of grain and barrels were brought to the hay barn.
Before the wedding, guests and newlyweds were invited to the table, but even there, sitting next to them, the future husband did not see the bride’s face - she was wearing a thick veil - a prototype of today’s veil. Usually, after 4-5 changes of dishes, the imprisoned father, turning to the bride’s own father, asked permission to lead the newlyweds “scratching and twisting,” i.e. to marry. After the wedding, a feast was organized again, the bride was already unveiled, the maiden crown was replaced with a “woman’s headdress” - a warrior, and she had to cry, and the women and girls sang sad songs. Before leaving the wedding feast, the husband, as a sign of his power, struck his future life partner on the back with a whip received from his father-in-law. This symbolized the young woman's transition from one "master" to another. After this, at the appointed time, the young husband took his betrothed to the hay barn. The newlyweds were accompanied by all the guests, and if someone accidentally crossed the path of the “wedding train,” they could end up under the saber of the manger leading the procession.
Left alone, the newlyweds had to perform another ancient custom: between the bride and groom, the ritual of taking off shoes took place, a very ancient ritual that came down to the Russians from the times of paganism. It consisted in the fact that the wife, as a sign of submission, had to take off her husband’s boots. There was a coin in one of the boots. If she managed to take off the boot that had the coin in it first, it meant that she would be happy, otherwise it meant that she would have to please her husband and take off her shoes. Another extant version of the ritual of taking off a spouse’s shoes, which existed in Siberia and beyond the Urals, is the wife washing her husband’s feet. When the newlyweds were in the hay barn and the guests were feasting in the room, the manger walked around the hay barn with his weapon drawn to protect against any recklessness. After some time, he inquired about the health of the groom, if he answered that he was in good health, this meant that a good deed had been accomplished, the manger told this to the guests and they went to feed the young people.
After the wedding, festivities continued for several days (sometimes up to a month, depending on the wealth of the families and local customs).
XVI-XIX centuries
In the Russian state, until the 17th century, marriage and family relations were built and regulated on the basis of Domostroy. There were no fundamental documents or decrees regulating this aspect of the life of the population. The era of Peter's reign marked the beginning of the development of family law as one of the components of the general legal structure of the state.
One of the first decrees proclaimed the principle of voluntary marriage. According to this decree, relatives of persons entering into marriage were required to take an oath that they did not force the bride and groom to marry. In 1714, Tsar Peter tried to introduce an educational qualification for nobles marrying, requiring at the wedding a certificate of knowledge of arithmetic and geometry. And in 1722, this idea was expressed in the form of a Charter, the essence of which was that it was forbidden to marry “fools who are not fit for science or service.” From the same year, all parish priests are required to register all acts civil status.
In the mid-40s. In the same century, the Decree of the Synod prohibited marriages of persons over 80 years of age. “Marriage was ordained by God for the continuation of the human race, which is something we desperately hope for from someone over 80.” Since 1775, “family legislation” has been supplemented with new rules. Since 1775, marriage could only take place in the parish church of one of the parties to be married. The wedding was preceded by a mandatory announcement. The marriage took place in the personal presence of the bride and groom. An exception was made only for members of the imperial family marrying foreign princesses. The age for marriage was set at 18 for men and 16 for women.
To get married, it was necessary to obtain parental consent, regardless of the age of the bride and groom. A woman has the opportunity to go to court to demand protection from abuse.
The personal rights and obligations of spouses are established by law, and attempts are made to regulate the internal relations of spouses in marriage. All official documents relating to family and marriage relations are included in the code of civil laws. Here, for example, is what Articles 106 and 107 say: “The husband is obliged to love his wife as if he were his own body, to live in harmony with her, respect, protect, excuse her absence and alleviate her infirmities,” “the wife is obliged to obey her husband as the head of the family , to remain in love and unlimited obedience towards him, to show him every kind of pleasure and affection as the mistress of the house.” The place of residence of the spouses is determined by the place of residence of the husband, she is obliged to follow him, otherwise she could be forcibly placed in her husband’s house.
Early 20th century
In pre-revolutionary Russia there was no uniform “family code” for persons of all religions. Issues of marriage and civil registration were the responsibility of the church. Therefore, persons of different religions are subject to different laws depending on the precepts of their religion. Couples belonging to different faiths required permission from the highest officials of the state and the church to which they belonged to marry. In most cases, the spouses accepted the same faith.
After the revolution of 1917, a new stage of development begins family law. On December 18, 1917, a decree “On civil marriage, children and the introduction of civil deed books will take place” was issued. According to this decree, the only form of marriage for all Russian citizens, regardless of religion, was civil marriage in government agencies. A marriage concluded according to a religious rite after the adoption of the decree did not give rise to legal consequences. Marriages concluded in church form before the adoption of the decree retained legal force, and they did not need to be re-registered. The conditions for marriage have become much easier. It was enough to reach the age of marriage: 16 years for women and 18 years for men and the mutual consent of the future spouses.
The following circumstances were recognized as obstacles to marriage: the presence of mental illness in one of the spouses, the condition of the bride and groom in the prohibited degrees of kinship (marriages between ascending and descending relatives, siblings were prohibited), as well as the presence of another undissolved marriage.
The second most important provision contained in this decree was the equalization of the rights of legitimate and illegitimate children. (In pre-revolutionary Russia, often recognized illegitimate children of noble parents did not have the right to bear the surname of their real father, but only its shortened version - one example is Ivan Betsky, a famous figure of Catherine's times - the illegitimate son of Prince Trubetskoy). In addition, in accordance with the decree, it was possible to establish paternity in judicial procedure.
At the same time, the decree “On Divorce” was adopted. Based on this decree, divorce cases were removed from the jurisdiction of church courts. Divorce cases initiated by a spouse's unilateral application were transferred to the jurisdiction of local courts. Before the revolution, obtaining permission to divorce required permission from the Synod (for married couples who professed Orthodoxy) or the Pope (for Catholics). Divorce was not welcomed by the church and society. So, for example, church repentance and a ban on subsequent marriages were imposed on the divorced spouse who was found guilty.
On October 22, 1918, the first “Code of Laws on Civil Status, Marriage, Family and Guardianship Law” was adopted. It is established by law that a civil (secular) marriage registered in the registry office gives rise to the rights and obligations of the spouses. The marriage age remained the same: 16 and 18 years. The list of obstacles to the brother’s imprisonment was expanded compared to that provided for by the decree of 1917. Conditions in another undissolved marriage were now also considered as an obstacle. A clear distinction was made between divorce, which terminates the marriage for the future, and annulment, which is retroactive and annuls the marriage from the moment it was concluded. The following circumstances were considered grounds for declaring a marriage invalid: marriage with a person under marriageable age; lack of consent to marriage of one of the spouses; marriage between persons, one of whom is in another undissolved marriage; the presence of prohibited degrees of relationship: marriage with a legally incompetent person. Marriage was declared invalid in court.
According to this code, the choice of a common surname or a double surname was made by the spouses themselves, whereas before the revolution, the adoption of a double surname or the wife's surname required the highest permission. The divorce procedure has become even simpler. As before, with the mutual consent of the spouses, the divorce was carried out by the registry office. Cases of divorce at the request of one of the spouses were considered as indisputable by a single judge without the participation of assessors. If both spouses failed to appear, the case was heard in absentia. No evidence of family breakdown was required from those divorcing.
Legitimate and illegitimate children have equal rights in relation to their parents and their relatives. The mother of a child born out of wedlock had the right, no later than three months before the release of the burden, to file an application to establish paternity. The person indicated by the mother could challenge his paternity in court within two weeks. If the mother's statement was not disputed, paternity was declared established.
II half of the 20th century
In 1923, the development of a new code began. The project was not accepted the first time, and in 1925 it was submitted for public discussion, and was submitted new code laws on family and marriage. A year later he was accepted. The most significant innovation of this Code was giving legal significance actual marital relations. Marriage registration was not abolished, but actual marital relations were in many ways equivalent to a registered marriage. However, there was no complete equality between them, but later judicial practice equalized them. The Code established a single marriage age for men and women - 18 years.
The divorce in court was completely canceled. The marriage was dissolved by the registry office, and without calling the second spouse, he was only informed of the fact of divorce.
The record of the father of an illegitimate child was made at the request of the mother, submitted after the birth of the child. No evidence was required from her. The father was only informed about such a recording and given the right to appeal it in court within one year.
In 1944, unexpectedly regressive decrees were adopted: prohibiting the establishment of paternity of children born out of wedlock and recognizing marriage as existing only for registered couples, and not those actually married, and therefore such couples were required to immediately register.
The divorce procedure was complicated: from now on, a marriage was dissolved only if the court recognized the need for its termination. The divorce procedure itself has become more complex. An application for divorce, indicating the reasons for the dissolution of the marriage, was submitted to the people's court. After this, an announcement about the initiation of divorce proceedings was published in the local newspaper. The People's Court considered the case and took measures to reconcile the spouses.
In 1968, the all-Union family law act “Fundamentals of legislation on marriage and family of the USSR and republics” was adopted for the first time. In general, the discrepancy between the legislation of individual republics was not too significant.
Since 1969, the Code on Marriage and Family of the RSFSR has been adopted. In accordance with this code, only registered marriages were recognized.
The actual marriage still did not give rise to any legal consequences. The grounds for divorce were considered to be irreparable breakdown of the family. If the spouses did not have minor children or disputes over property, divorce by mutual consent was carried out in the registry office.
Significant changes were made in 1995 to the legal regulation of adoption. However, by introducing individual changes to the 1969 Code of Laws, it was impossible to carry out the necessary reform of family legislation. In this regard, in 1994, the State Duma of the Russian Federation created a working group to prepare a new Family Code, which was adopted by the State Duma of the Russian Federation on December 8, 1995 and came into force on March 1, 1996.
Irina Khomchenkova, source edem.ru
On the process of formation of Christian norms matrimonial law and wedding rituals in Ancient Rus' had a great influence as the ancients pagan traditions, and Byzantine legislation on family and marriage. For the conclusion of the Christian marriage in ancient Rus', according to church canons, it was necessary to comply with certain requirements. These included the age of the bride and groom, as well as the consent of the newlyweds and their parents to the marriage. Obstacles that could serve as grounds for declaring a marriage invalid are the presence of a priestly rank, monasticism, exceeding the permitted number of marriages (three), guilt in the dissolution of a previous marriage, physical inability to family life, the unacceptable age of the spouse and the lack of parental consent; in addition, the stay of the bride and groom in family relations, the lack of their mutual consent to marry, as well as the non-Christian religion of one of the newlyweds.
The most important condition for the conclusion marriage was the achievement of the bride and groom of marriageable age, giving them the opportunity to legally create their own family. In Ancient Rus' The marriageable age was determined based on the norms of Byzantine law, according to which the marriageable age was set at 15 years for boys and 13 years for girls.
There is information about the marriageable age of 40 princes and 13 princesses upon entering the first marriage in ancient Rus'. Largest quantity grooms (57.5%) were aged from 15 to 20 years. Most brides were married before the age of 17 (92.2%). Average age of those getting married (19.5 for boys and 12.8 for girls) practically corresponded to the established standards. Nevertheless, 10% of the princes and almost half (46.1%) of the princesses married in violation of the established age restrictions. Thus, the Vladimir prince Vsevolod Yuryevich (XII - early XIII centuries) married his son Konstantin when he was only 9 years old, and the son of the Novgorod-Seversk prince Igor Svyatoslavich (second half of the 12th century) Svyatoslav married at the age of 11 years. There were even more deviations from the norms of marriageable age established by the church when princesses were married off. The daughter of the Vladimir prince Mikhail Yuryevich (second half of the 12th century), Elena was married off when she was only three years old. At approximately the same age, the daughter of the Kyiv prince Svyatopolk Izyaslavich (late 11th - early 12th centuries) Sbyslava was betrothed, but she entered into marriage later, at the age of 7 or 8 years. Suzdal Prince Vsevolod Yuryevich the Big Nest married his daughter Verkhuslava at the age of 8. As the chronicler reports, “her father and mother cried for her, she was dear to her, and she was young, she was old.” Agrafena, the daughter of a descendant of the family of Chernigov princes Rostislav Mikhailovich (XIII century), was married at the age of 9 years.
So early marriages in Ancient Rus' were more of a political nature than personal. Their conclusion was most often associated with the need to unite families, strengthen peace agreements or expand international contacts. Life together such children-spouses cannot be called married in the full sense of the word. All their relationships were limited to relationships with their parents or older members of the family in which they lived after marriage. Despite the fact that the clergy had a negative attitude towards such early marriages, they still persisted in Rus' for a long time. Even at the beginning of the 15th century. Metropolitan Photius, in his message to Novgorod, urgently ordered that “not to marry girls less than twelve years old, but to marry as in the third year.”
One more a necessary condition to join the Christian marriage in ancient Rus' According to Byzantine law, there was consent between the spouses and their parents or relatives. In pagan society, for a long time, marriage was, first of all, a property transaction between the parents of the bride and groom, so the consent of young people to marriage, with very rare exceptions (such as the matchmaking of Prince Vladimir to the Polotsk princess Rogneda), was not asked. But even after the adoption of Christianity, the attitude towards marriage and the consent of the spouses themselves remained unchanged, especially in the case of its conclusion between a young groom and bride, which excludes the very possibility of deliberate voluntary consent.
Even marriages of adults, according to the concepts of that time, of children (both daughters and sons) in princely families, judging by numerous mentions in the chronicles, were also very often concluded at the will of the parents: “Izyaslav gave his daughter to Polotsk for Borisovich for Rogvolod”; “Rostislav of Smolensky asking the daughter of Svyatoslav of Olgovichi for Roman his son Smolenskou and was led quickly from Novagorod in a week along the water khreshchi”; “Svyatoslav Vsevolodich married 2 sons. For Gleb I sing to Rurikov, and for Mstislav Yasynya from Volodymer of Souzhdalsky to Vsevolzh.” If an adult son independently found a bride, he still had to obtain his parents' permission to marry. Thus, the son of Yuri Dolgoruky Mstislav “in Novgorod, having fallen in love with the daughter of the noble Novgorodian Peter Mikhailovich, asked his father for permission, which, having received, he arranged the marriage with great joy.”
In the absence of parents, their powers in matters of imprisonment marriage in ancient Rus' were transferred to the closest relatives, primarily brothers and uncles. For all the conservatism of the marriage tradition, there were exceptions. Sometimes the love of parents for their children was so great that they left them the opportunity to independently choose their life partner. Thus, the Volyn prince Vladimir Vasilkovich (12th century) in his dying handwriting bequeathed not to give his beloved adopted daughter Izyaslav in marriage against her will, “but where would my princess like to go, then give her.”
The requirement of the church to adhere to all Byzantine decrees regarding marriage led to the appearance in the Church Charter of Yaroslav the Wise (late 10th - early 11th centuries) of a number of articles that spoke of the need for free expression of the persons entering into marriage: “Even if a girl does not want to get married, the father and mother will give by force, but what to do to themselves - the father and mother will give the bishop wine, and the historian will pay him. So is the boy.” In other words, in Ancient Rus', parents were responsible for violence against children in matters of marriage only if the latter either committed suicide or attempted suicide.
Parental consent, apparently, was of decisive importance only in marriages among the nobility. In the lower classes of ancient Russian society, the basis of marriage was probably, first of all, the mutual sympathies of the bride and groom, and not the desire of their parents. This is explained not so much by the lack of need to enter into “dynastic marriages” among the lower strata of the population (their representatives could arrange such marriages in order to obtain additional labor), but by the long-term preservation of the remnants of paganism, especially the freedom of communication between the sexes during pagan festivals, often accompanied by kidnappings. mutual agreement. The threat of flight forced parents to consider the will of their children when entering into marriage.
Serving people in Ancient Rus' for marriage the permission of the prince was required, the rest required the “local authorities” (i.e., a representative of the princely administration). This requirement arose due to the fact that in Rus' marriage was considered not only a personal, but also a public matter. Such a requirement was formed on the basis of the custom of informing the head of the clan or “superiors” of one’s intention. This point of view is indirectly confirmed by the existence of the so-called “crown” fee paid to the prince by the bride and groom, which was probably a payment for a marriage license.
Hearth Keeper
Marriage, when a husband and wife love each other, and their rights and responsibilities are equal, today seems to us the norm, it simply cannot be otherwise. But a couple of centuries ago, women could not even dream about this; they had no rights at all. All that women were allowed to do was housework.
“A woman’s whole life boiled down to managing this household. In fact, women often simply did not have time to even go outside,” says Ivan Davydov, Candidate of Philosophy, Associate Professor of the Faculty of Philosophy at Lomonosov Moscow State University.
For centuries, husbands treated their wives as their property: they could easily lock them up or drive them away, accusing them of adultery or theft.
“If we are talking about treason, say, of a commoner, then she could simply be hanged for stealing an apple, say, in the main square or on the outskirts of the city,” says artist-gallery owner Valery Pereverzev.
The husband's word in the family has always been law - this was an exemplary marriage. But who and when decided that this should be so, and why did people even come up with the idea of getting married?
Even 200 years ago, this ritual was commonplace - brides said goodbye to their girlhood, family, and a way of life to which they could never return. According to folk custom, every bride in Rus' had to sincerely mourn her carefree youth. This ancient ritual has been strictly observed for many centuries.
After marriage, the girl will forever move into someone else's house and begin a completely different life. Even her hairstyle will speak about her new status.
“A very important moment was when the bride’s hair was changed. That is, they unraveled her braids, she always walked to the wedding with her hair down, and then they twisted her hair, put a woman’s headdress on her, put a scarf on top, her hair was forever hidden under this headdress , it was believed that a married woman should no longer show her hair in public.
And here she was already turning into a married woman, precisely from that moment, and not, so to speak, from wedding night", says Deputy Director of the State Republican Center of Russian Folklore Ekaterina Dorokhova.
Every Russian bride went through a long chain of various rituals, and not a single one could be neglected. Marriage in Rus' was a central event in the life of every person - a special ritual that was taken extremely seriously. It is not surprising that girls began to prepare for marriage from childhood.
From the age of 10, each girl began to work on her dowry; without it, it was very difficult to find a groom. The absence of her own property, as a rule, testified to the girl’s poverty, and this automatically crossed her off the list of eligible brides.
According to generally accepted norms, the future wife was obliged to make a considerable material contribution to her husband’s household. Therefore, most girls spent their entire youth sewing.
Jan Steen. Wedding of Tobias and Sarah
“First of all, these were pillows, blankets, towels - she had to make all this with her own hands. She had to a large number of Give gifts to all your future relatives. And these gifts were, in general, regulated. That is, it was believed that she must sew and embroider a shirt for the groom. She gave big, long towels, also embroidered, to his friends, they were tied up with these towels. I gave belts to some, scarves to others,” says Ekaterina Dorokhova.
To impress the future husband, the bride's family showed not only sewing, but also livestock as a dowry: the more of it, the more enviable the bride. Well, what would a dowry be without truly valuable things, for example, wooden chests.
“All these items, these boxes, caskets, chests, a casket - all this was included in the bride’s dowry. Chests were expensive gifts, common gifts.
They were given not only by the groom to the bride or by the bride to the groom, the father of the daughter getting married. That is, this tradition of making a gift from a chest is absolutely normal phenomenon. Therefore, they were both gifts and a mandatory component of the bride’s dowry if she got married,” explains leading researcher at the State Historical Museum Natalya Goncharova.
Pavel Fedotov. Major's matchmaking
Matchmaking without a bride
No matter how rich the girl’s property was, she almost never took part in choosing her future husband.
“These were really agreements between relatives, in some situations the young people did not even know each other and were not acquainted. That is, even during my field practice I already found people who got married without knowing their future in person (I talked with woman) husbands.
There were marriages when young girls were married to adult men, and these marriages were not always unsuccessful, and quite often they were actually happy,” says Dmitry Gromov, Doctor of Historical Sciences, leading researcher at the Institute of Ethnology and Anthropology of the Russian Academy of Sciences.
Oddly enough, the role of the main cupids in Rus' was played not by parents, but by matchmakers. It was these people, most often relatives of the family, who were entrusted by the father and mother to choose the fate for their children.
At the same time, matchmakers were never guided by the preferences of the young; when concluding marriage contracts, neither love nor sympathy mattered. The main goal was to find a person from a decent and wealthy family, without visible physical defects. As for the rest, he will endure it and fall in love.
“Matchmaking always took place late in the evening, when it was already dark, in the dark. And in some places even at night. Let’s say, in the forests of Bryansk there are such remote villages, so they told us that the matchmakers arrived after 12 at night. They woke everyone up and walked through .
You know, the situation is kind of mysterious: it’s dark, some people arrive, then they sit the whole night, talking about something. Parents, mostly fathers (more often siblings or godparents), shook hands. That is, they sealed their consent to marriage with such a ritual handshake,” says Ekaterina Dorokhova.
Pavel Fedotov. The picky bride
Then, from this moment, when they agreed, until, in fact, the wedding itself, it took somewhere from two weeks to a month.
Since ancient times people got married in Rus' folk costumes. No whites lush dresses It hasn't happened yet. Sundresses and shirts were sewn in the traditional colors of their region. By the way, these suits were worn even after the wedding: it was customary to wear them for any special occasion in life. Rare pieces from the wardrobe of newlyweds of the past have been preserved in the State Historical Museum.
“At the end of the 19th century, the traditional Russian costume was greatly influenced by urban fashion. What can we see in this wedding costume of a peasant woman from the Arkhangelsk province? This costume was made according to the fashion of the late 19th century, around the 1890s.
The influence of urban fashion was reflected in the fact that instead of the traditional sundress and shirt, girls wore fancy suits- a skirt, a blouse with a belt, which was called, in general, a couple,” says Alexandra Tsvetkova, a researcher at the State Historical Museum.
A Russian wedding was the affair of the whole village. And the festivities continued for more than one day. But this holiday was not intended for the young, but for parents, matchmakers and numerous relatives. The bride and groom did not have fun at the wedding, they were silent, did not eat or drink anything.
During the wedding feast, the new husband was often worried about only one thought: will he be able to pass the test of the first wedding night with dignity? After all, at that time it was not customary to delay the appearance of offspring.
“Here we must also understand that the grooms at that time were inexperienced, and accordingly, after all the events of the wedding, they really could not have succeeded purely due to inexperience. There is a general suspicion that in traditional society, including the medieval one, there was something something like such a mental illness, such a neurosis, associated precisely with the fear of magical influence, that is, the suitors were really afraid of this, they suspected that this could happen,” says Dmitry Gromov.
The wedding night was given great importance; in fact, it was the first opportunity, approved by society, to enter into an intimate relationship, because intimacy before marriage was condemned. By the way, in some regions of Russia there was a custom when a girl had to prove her innocence.
Grigory Sedov. The choice of a bride by Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich
“They made sure that the girl led a very dignified lifestyle, that she didn’t go out with guys, that she didn’t allow herself anything unnecessary. They made sure to check her honesty on the second day of the wedding. But, it’s true, in connection with this there is always a lot of talk, how she and her fiancé will kill some rooster there to pretend that she was honest,” says Ekaterina Dorokhova.
From generation to generation
The custom of demonstrating the chastity of newlyweds was not observed for long and not in all regions of our country. For some time this was completely forgotten, until Peter I decided to return this tradition for all court ladies.
But the greatest importance was attached to the morality of the bride and groom in the Middle Ages in Europe. The Church, which then had a great influence on society, prescribed a sinless lifestyle before marriage.
In England there was even a custom when, after the wedding, a witness was present at the spouses’ bedside, who was supposed to record not only the consummation of the marriage, but also confirm that the newlyweds really adhered to strict morality.
“There are a lot of myths and legends around the marriage bed. Things like removing the chastity belt, or, for example, this feudal right of the first wedding night.
As for the special people who were present during the wedding night, then most likely there was a matron, an older woman, indeed her duties included witnessing that the wedding night took place. She was engaged in confirming the virginity of the bride herself,” says Ivan Fadeev, master of history, candidate at the Faculty of Philosophy of Moscow State University.
Today such wedding rituals seem harsh and quite humiliating. However, in the history of marriage there were many shocking customs. For example, in ancient Rome, a husband had the legal right not only to completely control his wife’s life, but also to decide when she should die.
In those days, the fate of a woman was rather unenviable. Each was obliged to fulfill any will of her husband. And not only him: first of all, the wife depended on the decisions of the paterfamilias - the father of her husband and the head of the entire clan.
Konstantin Makovsky. Down the aisle
“This is the only householder, the ruler over the entire clan, the eldest of the men, and while he was alive, he, as a leader, decided the fate of each member of his clan. In his hands was, among other things, the solution to the issue of life and death of newborns, and independently , these newborns came from him or, say, from his sons,” says Ivan Davydov.
In ancient times, this was absolute power, which was limited relatively late, only in the era of the “laws of the 12 tables”, and this is somewhere in the 6th century BC. Moreover, here too women were deprived of their rights. The life of the first girl was necessarily preserved, but the rest of the women born could be treated very cruelly.
Marriages between men and women have been arranged by their parents and relatives for many millennia. But when exactly did this model for marriage become generally accepted? Who invented it? Unfortunately, scientists cannot find answers to these questions. We don’t even know when people even came up with the idea of getting married.
“When the first marriage took place on Earth is unknown to science. And I think it will never be known. We are forced to rely on written sources, preserved, first of all, in the religious tradition. Well, according to the Bible, the first marriage is the marriage of Adam and Eve, who lived in paradise, and God himself blessed them to be fruitful and multiply, to populate the Earth and rule it,” says Davydov.
Although the date of the first wedding on Earth is unknown to us, the origins of some forms of marriage can be traced. For example, the infamous arranged marriage is actually very old: this type of marriage originated in the early Middle Ages, and then it was called a dynastic or royal union.
Royal marriages were always carried out according to their own rules and usually served only one purpose - political. Any king or king sought profitable alliances, and he concluded the most important ones through marriage contracts with other rulers.
Sergei Nikitin. Bride's choice
"Any marriage was associated with very strict obligations, which we cannot always even say for sure, but it is quite obvious that they were. For example, you could always count on the support of your son-in-law, you could always count on the fact that your matchmaker , even if it is a Hungarian king or a Polish dynast, if necessary, if they are trying to overthrow you from the throne, for example, he will definitely come to your aid and give military support,” says Fyodor Uspensky, Doctor of Philology, leading researcher at the National Research University Higher School of Economics.
Dynastic marriages helped solve many problems in the state, including expanding borders. So in the 12th century, King Henry II of England became the largest feudal lord in Europe only because he very successfully arranged marriages for his many children. As a result, he annexed Normandy, Anjou, Aquitaine, Guienne and Brittany.
The heirs to the thrones, even in infancy, repeatedly changed their betrothed. For example, Queen Mary Stuart of Scotland, at the age of 12 months, was promised by marriage contract to the son of King Henry VIII of England, Prince Edward.
Five years later, due to political conflict between the states, the Regent of Scotland entered into a new marriage contract: six-year-old Mary Stuart became the bride of the Dauphin Francis II in exchange for military support from France. It is not difficult to guess that no one asked the opinions of the heirs themselves.
“The opinion of the father, the reigning monarch, and his, if you like, desires, which were determined by political necessity, first of all, they had much greater significance, much more weight. The Middle Ages is not an era where, let’s say, such individual feelings were something that was taken into account first,” says Ivan Davydov.
Konstantin Makovsky. Boyar wedding feast in the 17th century
The great princely dynasty of Rurikovich, which ruled the Old Russian state for about 700 years, also succeeded in the field of dynastic marriages. Throughout the 10th and 11th centuries, the Rurikovichs not only successfully married off their daughters to prominent heirs of European states, but also took foreign wives themselves. By the way, intermarrying with the Russian princely family was considered very promising at that time.
“Firstly, the Rurik dynasty and Rus' at that time were extremely powerful from a military point of view. The Russian princes were armed, equipped, perhaps almost better than others. Therefore, military support - there is nothing even to discuss here, one could count on it she was very powerful.
And although Rus' was in many ways perceived as a kind of remote territory (not by everyone, of course, but by many), nevertheless, still, of course, the Russian dynasty had a well-known status and a certain prestige, so marrying your daughter to a Russian prince is a step quite important,” says Fyodor Uspensky.
Unequal marriage
For many centuries, games of thrones were decided through dynastic alliances, and no one was interested in the personal happiness of the monarchs. In the Middle Ages, little importance was attached to emotions and feelings. But does this mean that all couples were deeply unhappy in their marriages? Is it even possible to build strong family without experiencing falling in love with your spouse?
“Sexologists know very well that if people do not match on the sexual factor, this may not have any effect on the climate in the family. People can live a completely incomprehensible sexual life, far from any such normative one, not live at all, but at the same time get along well with all other factors. If suddenly some other factor flies, especially if the psychological, sexual factor comes into play very quickly. So, in fact, sexual function is not that important, strange as it may seem,” says the candidate of medical sciences. Larisa Stark.
Surprisingly, the model of ancient marriages is recognized by many scientists today as far from being the worst. Moreover, historians assure us, meaningful and mature love between spouses could well exist, despite the lack of sympathy and attraction at the beginning of marriage. Most likely, such a scenario was not uncommon.
Vasily Pukirev. Unequal marriage
However, be that as it may, marriage remained for many centuries an enviable goal for both men and women. But why was this so important? For a girl, an alliance with a man was often the only opportunity to receive social protection and maintain a good reputation. The man almost always received a rich dowry, and sometimes lands that belonged to his wife’s family.
And yet it is believed that, first of all, marriage was necessary for a woman: the household, of which she became the head, and subsequent motherhood were the only areas of life where she could realize herself. It is no secret that wives all over the world were not spoiled with rights and freedoms until the 18th century.
“The emancipation of women begins with the Renaissance and continues during the Enlightenment, but we can also see echoes of the previous tradition in the French law of the Napoleonic era. For example, according to the Napoleonic Code, a woman did not have the right to enter into any sales contracts without the written permission of her husband to spend money.” , says Ivan Davydov.
Later, of course, this norm was revised and annulled, but if we read the Napoleon Code, we will see that this norm is preserved there, then there is a note that it does not apply, and at the end of the Code appears new phrase, which regulates the modern position of a woman, namely her complete equality with her husband.
But in one thing a woman could not achieve equality with a man: throughout the entire period of the existence of the institution of marriage, she had to put up with her husband’s infidelity. Adultery may not always have been forgiven, but marriages did not break up.
All because divorce was an unaffordable luxury. Without an obstacle, a woman could receive it only if she intended to devote herself to serving the Church until the end of her days. This right was reserved for women during the Roman Empire, the Middle Ages, and the Enlightenment.
“Moreover, Christian historians have already emphasized that a woman who voluntarily renounced marriage in favor of Christian service acquired more social rights. For example, she had the right to free movement around the city and outside the city, if this was connected with her already Christian mission.
It is clear that if she took a vow of eternal seclusion already in the monastery, then her future life in the monastery was not much different from married life,” says Davydov.
Pieter Bruegel. Peasant wedding
Black widows
It was also possible to free oneself from the burden of an unsuccessful marriage in the event of the sudden death of the husband. In this case, widows received freedom and even the opportunity to remarry. Some wives skillfully used this right, deciding to kill their husbands. Black widows – that’s what these women were called.
For example, the Italian Teofania Di Adamo was a representative of an entire ancient dynasty of poisoners. Like all her relatives, she was engaged in the production of poisons under the guise cosmetics- colognes and powder compacts. Some historians believe that the most famous victims of Theophany were the French prince Duke of Anjou and Pope Clement XIV.
In France, the most famous black widow was the Marquise de Brenvilliers. She poisoned not only her husband, but also her father, two brothers, a sister, and even several of her children.
One of the most famous poisonings of the 19th century also occurred in France. In 1840, Marie Lafarge poisoned her husband with arsenic, but was caught and convicted. The Lafarge case became the first in world judicial practice when the defendant was sentenced on the basis of a toxicological examination.
Of course, not everyone decided to commit a crime. Many women tried to get a divorce officially. As a rule, these attempts ended in nothing. At that time, only the Church could divorce spouses, but it was not interested in this.
"The Church sought to give marriage a special character. There are different opinions among researchers about the reasons for this, but the main thing is that the Church seeks to give marriage an indissoluble character: it was argued that marriage is indissoluble, and the Church very carefully monitored the fulfillment of those conditions, fulfillment which were necessary for the marriage. And often the Church participated and directly monitored the situation within the marriage itself,” says Ivan Fadeev.
It would seem that in such matters the aristocrats had a better chance with their money, connections and titles, but the queens were not able to dissolve the marriage. The spiritual authorities preferred to turn a blind eye even to egregious cases.
This happened with the famous marriage of Princess Eupraxia Vsevolodovna from the Rurik family and King Henry IV of Germany. Unable to endure her husband’s bullying any longer, the princess turned to the clergy with a plea to free her from this union.
Adrien Moreau. After the wedding
“The Church had to have a sanction for divorce, some reason, it cannot just divorce people, at least in that era. So the Church organized something like hearings about this. And these hearings are often almost pornographic character, because she really spoke about monstrous things. We still don’t know what of what she said is true and what is not, I do not have the role of an arbiter to judge what is true and what is not. , and, of course, my heart still leans towards the Russian princess, and not towards Emperor Henry. But, nevertheless, in some ways she may have lied to him, because it is so monstrous (there is a black mass, too, and sodomy, and anything else),” says Fyodor Uspensky.
This marriage was never dissolved. Aristocrats received approval for divorce only if the spouses proved that they were closely related. For example, if they were each other’s second or fourth cousins. But cheating on a spouse has never been considered a valid reason for annulment of a marriage. Such behavior was not even condemned in society.
Infidelity could only become a reason for condemnation if the wife was convicted of it, especially if this happened in medieval Europe. Adultery, as we know, was a grave crime and a mortal sin. But even when adultery became public, the spiritual authorities were inclined to blame it primarily on the woman.
Harlots and temptresses
The Middle Ages were generally characterized by a special attitude towards the weaker sex: every woman, first of all, was the embodiment of evil, a harlot and a temptress. The man was often the victim, unwittingly seduced by her charms. At the same time, the person accused of seduction may not have been seductive at all, but this did not matter for the verdict of the Church.
A harlot could be punished very cruelly. This torture device is called the "iron maiden". It was installed in the center of city squares for everyone to see, so that the townspeople knew what an unenviable fate awaited adulteresses.
“The metal sarcophagus in which the traitor was placed was measured in height so that her eyes were at the level of these metal slits. Then the sarcophagus was closed, and the spikes pierced her torso. The spikes were made so that they did not touch her vital organs, so that she would suffer longer ", says Valery Pereverzev.
The history of the origin of this monstrous instrument of torture is quite mysterious. No one knows exactly where, when and by whom this metal sarcophagus was invented. And most importantly, what purposes did it originally serve? In the chronicles of European capitals there is almost no mention of the “iron maiden”, and the information that is still found is very fragmentary and confusing.
Vasily Maksimov. Family section
“The “maiden” itself appears only in the 14th-15th centuries in Nuremberg in Germany. Again, the rumors are very contradictory. That is, at first they use it as something closed, they say that in order to see the “maiden” you need to go through seven cellars, that is open seven doors, and then you can meet her.
But in the same early Middle Ages there is evidence that such a sarcophagus was also used for unfaithful wives, including in Sicily, say, in Palermo,” explains Pereverzev.
Unlimited rights, medieval husbands could legally control intimate life their wives. Thanks to devices such as a chastity belt. By the way, the key was made in a single copy.
Thus, going for example to long trip, the husband could literally lock up his wife and receive a one hundred percent guarantee of her devotion. After all, it was impossible to remove the belt without his consent and participation.
“The chastity belt, everyone usually imagines it this way, maybe it’s such a stereotype, and when they make reconstructions in museums, this particular place in the belt is considered the main one, it is made in the form of such a pike’s mouth. That is, you know, pikes have very flexible teeth , curved inward and very sharp.
That is, something goes into the pike’s mouth very well, but it doesn’t come out again. Everyone wants the chastity belt to be designed according to such a principle, so that it not only protects her from love pleasures, but that it can also expose, can, so to speak, catch the adulterer,” says Valery Pereverzev.
The iron belt injured the skin, causing infectious processes. Many wives died painfully from illnesses without waiting for their husbands. But in the history of marriage, other ways of using a chastity belt are known.
Nikolay Nevrev. Kindergarten
“A certain Conrad Eichstedt published a book in 1405, that is, the beginning of the 15th century, a book, simply, about European fortifications. That is, imagine, these are all kinds of defenses of city walls, these are all kinds of devices for repelling attacks on these walls, and so on .
And in this book he sketches for the first time the belt that he sees in Florence, this belt is worn by Florentine women from attacks on them, from sexual harassment", says Pereverzev.
In ancient times, society was extremely patriarchal, and the attitude towards betrayal was largely imposed by male psychology. Research by scientists has shown that in a man’s mind his own infidelity is not perceived as a terrible act; he is often not inclined to associate his adventures with serious feelings.
Intimacy with another woman can only be a physiological act, and nothing more. But if they cheat on him, then this is no longer regarded as a harmless prank.
“Men usually perceive events such as cheating on their spouses more painfully, because, again, we remember the biological component - women give birth. And in this case, there is a kind of threat to their reproduction: aggression, that is, an encroachment on territory, on the future.” , says sexologist and psychotherapist Evgeniy Kulgavchuk.
By the way, such a mechanism of behavior was inherent in men in primitive times. At the dawn of humanity, men and women already had different life strategies. The female was in no hurry to choose a partner and carried out a kind of selection in order to produce healthy and strong offspring.
It was important for the male to continue his lineage as quickly as possible, so the woman was perceived as property. In case of any encroachment on the chosen one, the male reacted extremely aggressively; he had to firmly defend his right to procreate. The harsh living conditions of ancient people and their short life expectancy forced them to act decisively.
However, the special attitude of men towards betrayal does not mean that a woman treats her easier. Quite the contrary, at all times, betrayal was a deep tragedy that was experienced hard and painfully. Such a strong emotional response is due to physiology.
Vasily Pukirev. Reception of dowry by painting
“During sexual relations, a woman produces more oxytocin, the hormone responsible for affection. And the woman literally grows her soul into her chosen one. And in these cases, of course, divorces affect mental health, because there are both reactive depression and anxiety “phobic disorders, and, of course, self-esteem very often drops significantly,” says Evgeniy Kulgavchuk.
Respect for women
And yet, throughout the history of marriage, few people cared about the hurt feelings of wives. As soon as the girl became legal wife, she had to completely submit to her husband's will. Signs of a matriarchal society can be found only in some areas inhabited by the Eastern Slavs. From their ancient customs it follows that women were treated with great respect, not only in marriage, but also in society as a whole.
“Moreover, I want to say that gradually with age the woman in the family became very important, the main one. And even in some places, I personally had to meet with this, there are echoes of such ancient beliefs, quite in origin, when a man who reached a certain age , say, somewhere around 60-65 years old, it was no longer needed.
And they told us very often: “Look,” he says, “in the old days they used to bully old people.” They were simply put on a sled, taken to a ravine, hit on the forehead with a stick - and they lowered them into this ravine on a sled,” says Ekaterina Dorokhova.
Such stories are, of course, the exception to the rule. Even during the Enlightenment, when women received more government rights and freedoms, social etiquette ordered them to tolerate their husband’s infidelity.
“The woman understood in advance that this would happen, and she got married, understanding that she had to endure and forgive, that this was work, like another job, such hard work. Therefore, we meet in the memoirs the concept of “the terrible duty of a wife,” “It’s a terrible responsibility of a spouse,” says Olga Eliseeva, Candidate of Historical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of History at Moscow State University.
Another sad situation took place here: the woman did not have the right to show what she knew. If she shows that she knows about some sins of her husband, then, as numerous mothers taught her, he will already do this before your eyes, in fact.
Firs Zhuravlev. Before the crown
But you shouldn’t think that a woman always loses in marriage. Being in a legal relationship with a man, she received what she had dreamed of since childhood.
“A woman, most often, gets married precisely in order to gain enormous strength and enormous power, which she did not have as a girl. She actually receives, she becomes the administrator of this entire considerable household.
And it’s not for nothing that everyone who described Russian women of this period writes that they are tougher than men, they are much tougher. They know how to make their servants and their men obey them. The man serves almost all the time. But, nevertheless, most often, women remain on the estates. What are they doing there? They control,” says Olga Eliseeva.
In addition, the girl of that time was no longer a silent victim and could refuse to marry someone who was not nice to her. Most often, when choosing a betrothed, women looked at rank, so it was customary to take very mature men as husbands.
“The fact is that in the Empire the system of ranks was accompanied not only by universal respect, not only were dishes served according to ranks, but the length of the bride’s train was determined, naturally, by the ranks of her husband, the height of her hair was determined by the ranks of her husband. On silver or gold, or The porcelain she would eat was determined by the rank of the spouse,” says Eliseeva.
And naturally, when she saw an eagle, a hero, a handsome man in front of her, even if not with a lot of money, but she understood that he would go further up the career ladder, of course, this could serve as an incentive for her.
And yet, modern brides and grooms in Europe can consider themselves perhaps the happiest in the entire centuries-old history of marriage. Never before have they been so free in their rights and desires.
Modernity according to old customs
It no longer weighs heavily on modern couples public opinion. Modern laws, unlike medieval ones, make it possible to get a divorce quite quickly and easily. Today, lovers can generally live in free unions. But does such an evolution of views threaten the collapse of the institution of marriage?
Giulio Rosati. Wedding
“Amazing facts: according to statistics, there are more women in marriage, and fewer men in marriage. When sociologists began to find out why, women assessed all so-called civil marriages as follows: that she was married. The man believed that “I’m still living with this woman,” says Evgeniy Kulgavchuk.
Oddly enough, but according to the same studies, Russian girls, like 100 and 200 years ago, deep down in their souls strive to get married according to all the rules at least once in their lives. And people working in the wedding industry know this very well.
“In my opinion, Russian girls are focused on the institution of marriage, which is not the case in other countries; such an obvious institution of marriage no longer exists. In America we have feminists, in Europe too, in general, everything is fine with this, they come out very late Our girls actually dream of becoming a bride from college. Therefore, I think that this is just such a traditional upbringing, this is our way of life, in general, it’s in our brain,” says the designer. wedding dresses Olga Loidis.
Despite the popularity wedding ceremony Today, those getting married see this holiday differently; superstitions and fears that have sunk into centuries no longer interfere with turning a wedding into a celebration for themselves, and not for relatives. The modern groom is no longer afraid of the consequences of his wedding night, and the bride does not want to hide her beauty under a scarf.
“Our brides prefer the most open neckline on the chest or a very low back. Our brides want to look more beautiful than ever at the wedding, on this day. And Russian girls associate this incredible beauty primarily with nudity,” says Olga Loidis.
Despite the great popularity of free unions in society and the infantilization of the male population, scientists are confident that the institution of marriage is not in danger of collapsing. The ancient habit of getting married will not go away, and weddings, no matter what they look like in another 100 years, will be managed for a very long time. Customs that have been formed over many thousands of years cannot disappear so easily.
