There are men with whom women literally fall in love at first sight.. And such men don't necessarily have perfect appearance.
Remember the same Casanova - he had a big nose, which did not suit him at all, but he was a huge success among the ladies. How to make a woman fall in love and how to know that she is not indifferent to you?
Don't rely on her to make the first move.
The girl understands that you have more than just friendly feelings for her, but she will not take the initiative because she expects it from you. A woman, even one in love, will flirt, flirt, show various signs of attention, but she will not invite you on a date. If you can't do this, then you're terribly shy and insecure, and who wants an insecure life partner?
Be persistent but not intrusive
Obsession will only push a girl away from a guy, especially if it’s his ex.. Need to let the woman know that you don't just give up that you will fight for her affection, and not beg, “Well, come on a date with me, why are you being stubborn?”. Have you been refused a proposal to go on a date? There is no need to start persuading, try another time, after first analyzing your actions and understanding what you did wrong. Perhaps you have been courting the lady for too short a time for her to allow you to invite her.
Present yourself correctly
In a conversation with her, smoothly switch to your person, telling her about your achievements, what parts of the world you have visited, what you have been doing, where you have found your calling. Just try to present this information carefully so that it does not look like empty boasting.
Be reliable
Let the girl know that you are a reliable person that you keep your word. Try to promise something more often and always keep those promises.. If you are asked to help, do not refuse, agree immediately. About my ex conversations don't start it, especially if these conversations boil down to comparing advantages and disadvantages ex-wife and your new passion.
Take care of yourself
You need to be especially careful about your appearance if you are trying to return the love of your ex, because it is possible that she left you because of your untidiness and carelessness.. Of course, if you communicate by correspondence, here you need to monitor your communication style. In no case do not use jargon and swear words in your speech, it is advisable not to use professional slang. Remember that love by correspondence is possible. There are cases when people fall in love with each other by correspondence, and then the lady in love goes to her Romeo for the first personal date, and they never part again. It even happens the other way around.
Don't be shy don't waste your time so that no one takes your potential life partner away from under your nose. The main thing that is required of you is not to be afraid to take the first step.
It all started when the girl he loved very much left him. And he still couldn’t get rid of her, he kept running after her and running. Well, she kept reproaching him and reproaching him. And because of this, he developed complexes: I'm a loser, girls don't like me, etc. But, by his nature, character and principles, he is very dependent on girls. He is not capable of fleeting and one-time, short relationships with girls. Always strive for serious relationship. And when he doesn’t have them, he doesn’t even know what to do with his life.
Because of this, I was in constant active search. I kept dreaming about my soul mate. But he wanted it so much that in the end he became a very desperate guy. He was less and less successful in meeting girls, and he stopped enjoying success with them altogether. And when someone finally agreed to go on a date with him, he scared her away even before it began, or after the first meeting, there was never a second one. Over time, watching all this, I realized that when a guy really wants a girl, he wants a serious relationship with her, and not for one night. And when he begins to attack everyone who agrees to meet with him. He scares everyone away from him, and it’s as if it’s written on his forehead for them - a desperate guy, I really want a girl, almost no matter what kind.
Women feel very well the success of a man with women. And they don’t perceive such a guy at all, they are not interested in him in any way. Precisely because of his obsession and great desire. And as soon as he realized this himself, he decided to work on himself and change, in better side. He found a lot of things to do, kept himself busy as much as possible, was doing something all the time, and over time he lost such an obsessive idea of getting into a serious relationship. Of course he wanted them, but it was no longer written on his forehead. And he was already calmer towards girls. And then, everything changed.
The women seemed to sense a change in him, and it’s true what they say is that girls can sense it a mile away. successful men. They themselves began to get to know him as soon as he scored. Everyone suddenly became interested in him, and he started going on date after date. And all because the energy that frightened everyone no longer emanated from him.
The conclusion is this: firstly, in such cases, you need to find something to do so as not to constantly think about girls and relationships with them. Secondly, stop treating them as something most desirable. And over time, they themselves will feel your changes, and if you were really able to overcome your simple thirst for girls, then you will have a different energy that will not frighten off all representatives of the fairer sex. So don't be intrusive. I wish you success!
First of all, it is worth understanding whether this particular girl is what a man needs. It may be that he is just carried away, and this fleeting feeling will soon pass. Then it’s better not to make efforts to woo a woman, because it may turn out that she will still reciprocate, believing the guy’s promises and vows, and after some time he will understand that he was hasty in his choice and wants to break up. This situation will be unpleasant for both parties.
Many men are faced with a situation where they really like a woman, but she pointedly ignores all the gentleman’s signs of attention. Or even openly declares that she does not like the guy, and she does not intend to build a relationship with him. And what should a guy do, should he continue running after the girl or give up all attempts and forget her? First of all, you should take a close look at the subject of your desire. If a girl behaves ambiguously and does not say a categorical “no,” giving hope that all is not lost, then there is still a chance to achieve her. There is no need to give up, it’s just that the girl, apparently, shows her inaccessibility and pride in this way. Or it may be that she herself does not yet know what she wants, and whether she needs this relationship. You need to be patient and give her time.
In the event that a woman directly says that she is not ready for a relationship, or this is not the man she needs, she should back off and not impose herself. IN otherwise, you can cause even more negativity in the girl.
It’s also not worth it to impose yourself frankly. If a girl does not accept advances, it is better not to run after the woman, but to remain friends for a while. Otherwise, you can cause her aggression and irritation. Perhaps in the future, the situation will change, and the girl will reciprocate. It is necessary to make the girl perceive the guy as loved one who will always help and come to the rescue. Very soon the woman will get used to it and will not be able to imagine her life without this man. As soon as this happens, you can try your luck again and start courtship. A man should show that he is not too keen on romance, thereby giving his chosen one complete freedom of action. In any case, if you like a girl, you can run after her.
If a man is able to pull himself together and pacify his ardor, then attempts to achieve reciprocity from a girl will most likely be successful. Otherwise, there is nothing left to do but not run after the girl and leave her alone.
A good way to get reciprocity from a girl is to make her jealous. As soon as she sees that other ladies are also looking at the man, not a trace will remain of her coldness. In any case, whether it is worth it or not to run after a woman is up to the man to decide. It all depends on how this girl he needs what plans he has for her. If this is just a sporting interest, then it is unlikely that the man will be very upset if his chosen one refuses.
Have you ever been told that you are obsessive or clingy? Have you ever been so excited about a new relationship or friendship that you pester the person for attention and in return they simply pull away from you? Have you noticed that you want to call, write an SMS or write a letter to someone much more often than he does in response? If so, you've probably already discovered that obsessiveness is a turn-off for most people. In this article, you'll learn how to find the source of your obsession and become confident enough to mitigate it.
Steps
Find balance
- If you had a wonderful Friday night, you'll probably want to do it again as soon as possible. But instead of calling a friend on Saturday morning to make new plans, wait a few days. Relish the fun time you had and let your friend enjoy the memories too. When it's time to hang out again, you'll both be looking forward to seeing each other, making your time together even more enjoyable.
-
Take off your rose-colored glasses. Part of the reason we become overly infatuated with someone is our tendency to idealize the other person early in a relationship. When you first meet someone you've formed a connection with, it's very easy to get caught up in fantasies about how great your friendship or relationship could be. However, these fantasies lead to high expectations, which are sometimes unrealistic! Right now you are thinking that you want to spend all your time with this person, but by doing so you are only setting yourself up for disappointment in the future.
- Constantly remind yourself that new person in your life - this is just a person, that is, not ideal. He will make mistakes and you need to be willing to deal with that and forgive rather than be shocked that the person is not capable of being perfect.
-
Practice quid pro quo (a Latin phrase meaning “this for that,” a quid pro quo). Imagine that your interaction with a person is a tennis or volleyball match. Every time you initiate contact, you throw the ball to the opposite side of the court. Then you wait for him to return. You don't have to throw a bunch of balls to make sure he/she still wants to play. If you're in the role of someone in need, you're probably nervous while you wait. When this happens, take a deep breath. If you've already reached out to someone (by emailing, texting, or calling and leaving a voicemail), there's no need to do it again. As much as you might want to contact him again, keep in mind that there are only a few options in this situation:
- The person has not yet received the message.
- He was too busy to answer you. If you trust this person, do not immediately blame him, but assume that this is exactly the case.
- He's not interested in talking right now.
-
Don't push or choke. No matter how close you are to a person, if you spend all your time with them, it will become overwhelming. Even if a person loves you, he does not want to be with you every second, day and night. If you find it difficult to be away from someone for even a few minutes, it will become a big problem for you in the long run. Although it may be very difficult, force yourself to step back and give the person some space. Spend a few days away from him, do things that you enjoy, and don't demand contact for a while. Your relationship will definitely improve because as the old proverb rightly says, “love grows stronger in absence.”
Notice the signs that the person is no longer interested. This happens for many reasons, but one thing is true - showering a person with attention will not change his attitude. Perseverance is not the answer! Ignoring you may be a person's way of avoiding communication without direct confrontation. Pushing on your part won't change how they feel, and deep down you know that. If a person does not deign to answer you, you should not waste time on him. You deserve better treatment.
- Consider whether the person behaves changeably. Some people are simply unable to maintain friendships or relationships, and are sometimes lazy or forgetful. Although most often a person does not show responsibility not because he forgot to call you back, but because he decided so.
- Maybe the person just needs a little time to focus on other things for a while. This doesn't necessarily mean the end of your relationship.
-
Respect other people's wishes. If a person ignores you or has become cold towards you, you feel rejected - yes, it really is rejection, and it really hurts. But if a person has decided that it is time to move on, there is nothing you can do to force things. Do your best to get through this phase yourself, and resist the urge to be pushy. If you lash out at the person or try to hurt them in return, this will only increase the distance between you.
Notice if your needs are being met. If the person you're thinking about isn't rejecting you outright, but is acting untrustworthy or pretending, consider whether you really want this person in your life. Just because you want to spend time with your friend or significant other does not make you obsessive. Maintaining a relationship takes time and effort. If a person makes you feel like you're asking for too much, but you know you're not being too pushy, it may mean that the problem is not with you, but with the other person.
- Decide how much time and attention you are willing to give to the relationship, and figure out how much you expect in return. If your expectations are reasonable, but you constantly feel disappointed and neglected, maybe it's time to find a new friend or lover who will make you feel valued and loved.
- Relationships are not easy to balance—it often feels like one person is putting in more effort than the other. There are times when one person is busy, and the other writes and calls more. However, if this situation is persistent in your relationship and you don't think it will change, end the relationship before it damages your self-esteem.
Increased confidence
-
Keep yourself busy with other things. Busy people simply don't have time to be intrusive; they are always preoccupied with other things, and guess what? All these "other things" often make you more interesting friend or partner for romantic relationships. If you can't find best activity Rather than wait for someone to call or text you back, chances are you're bored (and you know what they say - if you're bored, you're boring). What are you waiting for?
- Become a volunteer. Learn to dance. Start jogging. Learn to paint with oil paints. Join the club. Do it all, express yourself and have fun! All your worries will go away, and when this person gets in touch, it will be a pleasant surprise, not crazy relief!
-
Communicate with other people periodically. Centering your life around one person is not good for your mental health or self-esteem. Invite other people into your group instead of putting all your energy into one person! Get a few people together and go to a movie or dinner instead of spending the whole time worrying about volume person. Enjoy communicating with different personalities that fill your life - you have enough for more than one friend.
Remember that it's okay to be alone. Many people do not date anyone and still enjoy life to the fullest. They have freedom and fun, and in many cases they are just as happy as the people in the relationship. The deeper truth is that relationships are a want, not a need. The problem comes when you turn them into a need and start to believe that you won't survive without them.
- Do this exercise: when an obsessive thought comes to mind, repeat the mantra. Says: “I am strong,” or “I have everything I need.” Repeat mentally anything that helps you feel like a complete person who doesn't need someone else to live.
- It also helps to listen to music and watch films about freedom and strength of spirit.
-
Work on your self-esteem. Most likely, if you struggle with compulsion, you have problems with self-esteem. You may be looking for someone to make you feel better, but the truth is that you are the only person who can truly do that. Don't base your happiness on another person. Of course, it's good that someone makes you happy, but if that person is the only source of your happiness, you will be angry and sad when they are not around, and this can be quite difficult for a person! He will feel guilty, obligated to you and, ultimately, resentful of you.
- The only way to get rid of obsessiveness is to prove to yourself that you don't need anyone by doing things on your own, spending time alone for a long time, until you feel confident. Act like you want to have a friend or loved one, but definitely not need in that.
- Don't look for a new relationship until you're sure you won't repeat yours. old model behavior.
-
Learn to trust. Once you understand yourself, you can deal with any problem in your relationships with other people. Clinginess is often associated with a lack of trust and sometimes with feelings of rejection. When you find yourself questioning someone's feelings towards you or someone's loyalty, ask yourself why you don't trust them. Is it because he did something questionable? Or because someone hurt you in the past and now you expect this new person to behave the same way?
- If the last statement is true, remind yourself that it's not fair to judge someone based on the actions of a completely different person, right?
- If you truly care about this person, then he has earned your trust, give it to him.
-
Take advantage of your independence. Being confident and unobtrusive makes you more attractive. This is the trick: the more confident you are and don't really need others, the more attractive you become to others. Once you become truly independent, you will feel it. You will be confident enough to handle a relationship without worrying too much about what the other person thinks. You will treasure time alone as much as time spent with your loved one.
- Give the person their own space, respect personal boundaries.
- Step away for a while and mind your own business. Be a busy person.
- Do whatever brings you joy and happiness. Don't spend too much time alone. Get out of the house and spend the evening with friends. The more interests and hobbies you have, the more attractive you will become!
- Appreciate yourself!
- First, you must learn to be alone while feeling comfortable. Then your time will become more valuable to you, and you will be able to look at the relationship more objectively.
- Excessive intrusiveness can only cause rejection. This will lower your self-esteem, deepening your feelings of loneliness.
- If you love the person you are in a relationship with, show it to him easily and unobtrusively, do not put pressure on him, otherwise he may push you away.
- Love yourself
- Aggressive stance on early stages very repulsive. Learn to behave in moderation and start with small steps.
- Obsession wastes your precious time. Learn self-control. You can.
- Realize that some people are just not very nice. It's not about you, it's about them. Find new friends.
- The love of your life will be knocking on your door sooner than you think. Just be patient and optimistic.
Warnings
- Needing others can become a vicious cycle. You seek attention, the person gets scared and pushes you away, you feel worse and start new circle with even greater obsession. Realize this and change your behavior.
- If you are impatient, you start thinking about things that don't really exist. Stay calm and try to focus on what you love.
- The need for a relationship can lead to depression, and we all know that depression has extremely negative side effects, That's why the best way out- this is to start new hobbies in order to shift the focus to them.
Slow down. All relationships develop at their own pace, so there is no need to strive to become " kindred spirits" or " best friends forever" just because everything is going great. Cherish the newness of it all and the excitement of something new, because that feeling of newness will not happen again. You may be nervous because you don't know how the relationship will unfold, but... it's so interesting! Be patient and learn to enjoy this excitement. Don't try to push the relationship further than it is ready to go, otherwise all the joy will disappear and stress will arise.
