How Chechen women get married: traditions, customs. Chechen men are ungrateful despots and tyrants

Dear girls, site readers!

You need to value yourself, and they will value you in return, but the result is the same - a Chechen man will run to his wife, leaving you in the ashes... You just need to respect them for this.

I met a Chechen man, over 40. I got married a year ago to a 22-year-old girl. While she is sitting at home pregnant, he walks left and right, with friends, with girls, does not spend the night at home - is this life? Phrases - “I’ll send her to Grozny, and we’ll go on vacation,” or, for example, she asked where he was going at night, i.e. spoke, so in response he went to spend the night with me, and said that he wouldn’t spend another night at home after such words of hers, in general, he’s a complete freak.

In general, it seems to me that the wives of Chechen men are a maid + a birthing machine, two in one bottle, and give this old fart a virgin. At the same time, it’s also great that there is also a second wife, because he begged my son from me!

Moreover, the approach is this: you give birth to his son, he is with his mother until he is 3 years old, and then he takes the son away! HORRIBLE, I couldn’t even believe my ears. They don't value their wives. He had already started to educate me, and he said it directly: take my things away, wash them, I might hit you, he said. Although these were only words, all this is indicative, well, etc., despite the fact that the relationship was just beginning, and I was generally unbending.

They are also great consumers, everyone is looking for some kind of benefit. Okay, I haven’t fallen for it yet, I stopped it right away. I started dating him, I didn’t know that he was married, but I didn’t care at that moment, I broke up with my husband, I wanted new experiences.

He liked that I was Tatar, beautiful, wealthy, with an apartment, with an excellent career, in a prestigious car, I had time to give birth to a son, I looked my best. Psychologists They are great, they can deceive anyone, I myself initially perceived him only as fleeting entertainment, like don’t care about him, there are enough fans already...

All this continued while I just didn’t “give a damn” - he was interested, and I was interested, because he never caved in to me. I thought - finally a real man I finally met, I was weaker... I didn’t even notice how I got involved, I didn’t even want to meet others.

Glory to Allah, my husband decided to return to the family, and then the real “Song of the End” began. At first he calmly reacted to his husband, like it was okay to be with him, although I was faithful only to him. But he didn’t believe it, and gradually everything faded away, like: “we need to return to the family, girl.”

In the end, we talked about everything, I understood perfectly well that there was no future and I didn’t need it, but it was terribly painful that he would disappear from my life. He tried again to restore everything, but I no longer needed it.

I don’t know whether the feelings somehow went away on their own, or whether in his understanding I was no longer free, he, according to him, could not interfere with someone else’s family, and my conscience did not allow me to leave the house to join him with my husband. I suffered only for 2 months, torn between them.

A month after parting, there were no more tears and pain, and this was not love at all - just passion - and nothing more, I told him so, and that’s how it was. Thank you that Allah prevented me from continuing this nightmare, everything could have ended even worse, it would have been more painful. By the way, my husband and I also separated, he realized that I was no longer his, but that’s another story, I haven’t been worried about this for a long time.

Here and now will be the culmination...

“Russian girls, they are sometimes VERY AVAILABLE, and despite the fact that they are beautiful, smart, they often have a low opinion of themselves (!!!). Chechen girls proud, know their worth. And a woman’s pride and high self-esteem always evokes male respect...”

That's it, curtain... Silence, no applause... Here come my quiet tears...

Dear girls! Listen to the words of the wise eastern unmarried man- this message is for you! No one could say more precisely... I foresee a surge of female indignation: “He insulted us, he humiliated us...”. No, my dear compatriots, no one and nothing can insult a woman until she allows it.

How many times have I watched a picture - a young guy and a girl are walking (standing, sitting), hugging each other - he behaves freely, hangs on it - it is used as a support, while the man is very drunk, or, at least, at the same time helping himself to a bottle beer, swears, behaves unworthily... And the sweet girl miraculously endures all this (more precisely, she is not bothered by such male behavior) and continues to accept his advances and kisses... What can I say - such female self-esteem will lead to many serious problems later... I'm afraid that not many girls will understand what I am writing about here.

Surely many of you have witnessed the communication of young couples, when a pretty girl who does not fit into the standards of glossy magazines accepted the boorish advances of an arrogant gentleman who is no match for her... Again - I want to shout - “Where is mom looking? Why didn’t she teach her daughter?” - but can the mother herself do this - to carry herself through life with dignity... If only you could take a filthy rag, you would drive away such a gentleman, but only the girl would stand up - what if she never meets anyone else on her way? Well, with such self-esteem, he definitely won’t meet you, yeah...

I have been convinced many times from my own and other people’s experience that “a woman’s pride and high self-esteem always evokes male respect”, that a man treats a woman the way she allows him to. More than once I have heard revelations from young beauties that a man treated her ugly, unworthy, and when you start to find out the circumstances, it turns out that from the very first day of communication, the woman allowed the man too much, forgiving things that are unacceptable for a woman with high self-esteem...

I remember the phrase of one young lady, who had long ago lost her feminine appearance, said in the direction of her more successful rival: “What did he see in her! Okay, I’m scary, but this one is even scarier - she’s absolutely ugly!”…

Dear ladies - respect yourself! Only a woman with high self-esteem and clearly defined personal boundaries will not humiliate herself and will not allow others to be humiliated.

God, how tired I am. As a Russian, I want to appeal to those men who teach us. First of all, look for the beam in your own eye. And then, why, immediately if a woman has sex, or gets into a car, then she’s a whore. Then, logically, men are whores too, even more so. I want to appeal to Caucasians. You understand that we Russians consider YOU for the most part as entertainment without serious intentions. You compare us with your clubs, forgetting that we are more independent, know how to support ourselves, are able to physically stand up for ourselves and make our own decisions. I assure everyone that the Caucasians are supporting us is a myth invented by them. This is a rare exception rather than the rule. Unlike their women, we do not need such support from men and, as life shows, we survive just fine without them, raise and raise children. Such a woman cannot be called a whore, because... It's mostly she who has men. I don’t envy Caucasian wives, they are just food processors. And I don’t understand why they glorify their often worthless, stupid and self-confident men so much. Russians are a thousand times better. They are much more intellectually developed, much more honest and generous, and these stereotypes about widespread alcoholism were invented by our television and national people, because for lack of own merits they actively look for faults in other people. And to satati about super sexuality, this is also a myth. As lovers, Caucasians are not even up to the mark. Basically take off the sex, you can’t even call it sex. It's just a hookup. Our Russians are much more skillful and interesting in bed. So, spraying seminal fluid to the right and left speaks not of sexuality, but of incontinence.
Addressing the Russians, I’ll say this, guys, we love and respect you, it’s just that YOU lack activity and perseverance when getting to know your other half, and we also miss your compliments, Caucasians are skilled at this, and even though their compliments are like water, it still hurts , but then you realize that it’s just verbal diarrhea for them. And it’s a lie that the Russians are hanging on to the Caucasians. Basically, their contingent is little gray mice, saleswomen from stalls, and these guys also do not disdain homeless people. Dear girls, be careful, behind the feigned sexuality from the Caucasus, there is a bunch of sexually transmitted diseases, because despite their washing their butts, which they especially boast about, these people are extremely sexually unclean. They are similar to public dildos. I don’t know about those present, but personally I treat them with extreme disgust. Those who once had a connection were ultimately extremely disappointed. Basically, these women, realizing that they were wrong, refused to have a relationship with them.

Vakha Usmanov, engineer (name and surname are fictitious)

— You have lived in Moscow for more than twenty years. Who do you feel like: a Muscovite, a Moscow Chechen, just a Chechen?

Of course, I am Chechen. And, of course, I am a Muscovite. But I understand what you want to ask: is there a difference between Moscow Chechens and those who live in the Republic?

Here it is necessary to stipulate: we are talking about current times, and not about the USSR. Because when I came to study in Moscow, and this was in the mid-80s, everything was different. After the army, I went to university, and my whole family was proud of me. I acted as an army soldier, and not according to a national quota. My fellow students didn't really care where I was from. From the Caucasus, and okay. No one distinguished the Dagestanis from us. There were difficulties like all provincials: a huge city, new people, it was difficult to learn to live in a different everyday culture. I will emphasize: household. Because then there was a common culture. And it’s not just about literature and cinema, but about how to behave.

— What do you mean by “household”?

Basic things: we have completely different traditions of communication, for example, with elders. At first it just killed me when I saw my classmates smoking in front of their parents and arguing with them.

And our communication with the weaker sex is different. More precisely, that was how it was then. I don’t know how this happens among young people in Chechnya now.

- Well, let's get back to your feelings...

So, despite, as they said then, “a single Soviet people,” I always knew who I was. I don’t want to talk about the war and everything connected with it, sorry. But I have lived in Moscow for 28 years. This is my city. I know all the traffic jams and the whole center here. I, like any Muscovite, am wildly irritated by Sobyanin tiles and migrants.

- Wait, where are the migrants from? From Central Asia or your compatriots?

Yes, all those who behave here differently from an ordinary resident of the metropolis. Do you think that if a Caucasian guy cuts me off on a tinted 9, I think something different from you in this situation? Yes, I won’t yell: “Drive like this in your village,” but, believe me, it’s just as infuriating.

And when people are outraged that sheep are slaughtered in the street on holidays, I am on the side of those who are outraged. Mark, cut - but only where possible, so as not to disturb others.

— Do you often travel to Chechnya? How do you feel there?

I haven't been for a long time. This is how the circumstances develop.

— Do you feel a negative attitude towards yourself when people find out your nationality? Have you ever faced open hostility because you are Chechen?

Again, divide the question into the USSR, the 90s and the present time. I said about the Union. The 90s were strange. My non-Chechen friends, and these are the majority, diligently pretended that nothing was happening - they never talked to me about the war. It was getting ridiculous. At some party I go out to smoke - everyone there is heatedly discussing the seizure in Budennovsk. My friend, seeing me, immediately interrupts and says: “The bandits have no nationality.”

There was also a situation in the bathhouse. And I go to steam once a week at the same time. Everyone got used to me, where I was from - they didn’t ask. The men are sitting in the steam room, arguing about the army. I also got involved and in the conversation I said where I was called from. There was silence for about five minutes. They were all digesting what they had said over the years about Chechnya and the Caucasus in general. I say: “Relax, guys, you didn’t tell me anything new.” We laughed, of course. But now they try not to talk about what they think are slippery topics in front of me.

Everyone at work knows where I'm from. There, even during Nord-Ost, I never felt any negativity toward myself personally.

To be honest, with strangers too. Maybe because I don't have an accent. Although the first and last name are clearly Caucasian. But no, I won’t lie, I really haven’t faced any outright fear or hostility because of my nationality.

— We all read about “shooting weddings” and the behavior of guests from the Caucasus. Why are your compatriots behaving so demonstratively wildly in the capital?

Listen, these are minors. If I now start giving you examples of Russian teenagers with cans of cocktails yelling obscenities at my entrance, you will say that’s a different matter. And the truth is different. Sorry, but you get used to your bullshit. That is, I recently had to pull two youngsters out by the scruff of their necks on a train - they were drunk, they were swearing so hard that their ears were limp. But this type of behavior is familiar to Muscovites.

Another opinion: the history of relations between Russia and Chechnya throughout recent years has no analogues, not even far-fetched ones. Any attempt to imagine something even remotely similar in history only emphasizes the absurd uniqueness of the Russian-Chechen situation. ()

And “shooting weddings”... I wouldn’t call it wild, it’s just inappropriate in the city. Again, a question of culture. Aborigines walk naked somewhere in Africa - you wouldn't call them uncultured, would you? This is a different culture. The trouble is that no one explained to the youngsters who came to Moscow how to behave.

My teeth grind when I see “mine” in sweatpants somewhere on Manezhka. But this is a generation that grew up after the Soviet Union. They didn’t really study there. They grew up during the war. With all the atavisms of this war and with the broken psyche of the “children of war.”

Again, Moscow Chechens do not behave this way.

And the shooting... In the Balkans they shoot at weddings and christenings, bless you. Traditions are like that. By the way, I don’t remember anyone shooting in my childhood. I’m not sure that there are many such holidays in the Caucasus - with volleys. This is also incomprehensible to me, although their motivation is clear - for courage.

One more thing to consider: alcohol. We used to be a light-drinking nation. More precisely, drinking wine. Although there was moonshine and cognac, everything was in moderation. I didn’t know about drugs at all when I was young.

I won’t be unfounded, I don’t know how things are going with this in Chechnya. But I myself have witnessed it many times: young people come here to study, and gradually both excessive alcohol and weed begin to appear. But they don’t know how to drink at all, so here we go...

— Do your colleagues discuss this in front of you?

Yes. I tell them the same thing that I tell you now.

— Are there any values ​​in your life that your Russian colleagues and friends do not understand? Do you explain them? Are you defending?

Well, I probably have universal values. There is a difference in traditions and mentality. But let's do this: I'm talking about myself personally.

We have a strict taboo on public discussion and conversation on the topic of gender and sexual relations. Even in purely men's company this is vetoed.

And thirdly: relationship with parents, elders and family in general. Here is my wife, when my relatives arrive, she silently serves them the table and goes to her room. But this is nothing more than traditional behavior. Although when we are at home alone or with friends, everything is different.

And on all these three points I have to argue terribly with my Russian friends. They don't understand it, but they don't want to accept it. My explanations are that this is customary, that it is a custom as a custom, for example, that the bride is not present at own wedding, do not work.

But I’m already accustomed to such questions and bewilderment, such as: how is it possible, you’re drinking with us, why you, an adult, educated person, can’t do as you want in the presence of relatives. Yes, the point is that I want them to be comfortable! So that you don't feel ashamed of me.

In the end, this is a habit from childhood - the habit of unconditionally obeying elders. Yes, probably, a lot of things in my personal life would have gone differently if I had been able, not just to argue, but at least not to take my parents’ advice as a direct instruction to action, but it sits inside me: my elders said, I have to do it.

— How would you solve the problem that is delicately called “attitude towards immigrants from the Caucasus”? Can it be solved in principle?

It would be easy to decide in Moscow. Let only those who come here to actually study or work, and not loaf around with their parents’ money, be allowed here. Strictly control the employment of visitors from the Caucasus.

And then I’ll tell you why I asked for the anonymity of this interview - people in my homeland are unlikely to understand this. I would ban fraternity. That is, not fraternity as such, but this clannishness. After all, just like in universities now, all Caucasians hang out together. They communicate with each other, show off to each other, and then what you called “wild behavior.” And so it is everywhere. For example, someone got a job in the police in Vorkuta. Immediately the relatives send their nephew: they say, an extension. And you, what to do, arrange it - that’s how it’s supposed to be.

It should be like this. Let's say you own a store. Great. But your sellers should not be your...cousins ​​and nephews, but local ones. Because when young Chechens come to Russia, they essentially don’t know anything about it. They are boiled in the cauldron of relatives, and Russians remain strangers and complete strangers to them. Here they see: a girl is walking in a miniskirt and with a cigarette. And their thoughts are simple: it is accessible. They don't know anything about you, they only see the outside.

And if they had plunged them, like me in my time, into a different environment, they would quickly understand what’s what.

There will be no fraternities - there will be no situation when a crowd comes to ransom a Caucasian detained for something.

It’s the same in the army: I had one Chechen in my company, and everything was fine. We must not serve together with our fellow countrymen. It’s involuntary – you get lumped together with your own people. And then it’s logical: the rest stand on the other side. And in the army the sense of community is heightened.

You can talk a lot about education in Chechnya itself, however, I am incompetent in this. But no matter how you were raised at home, you have to adapt when visiting. And you will do this if you know: no uncle will help you out or pay for you.

I assure you: if people come here only on business and live independently, without this eternal grouping, everything will quickly get better.

Oh, and also - no national quotas for studies. Let them come and enroll on a general basis and study in the same way, so that they can be expelled. According to the quota, they are trying to give them three rubles... You will see: there will be many times fewer young people wandering aimlessly around their universities.

- I was just about to ask. Look: in everyday conflicts between Chechens and Russians in Moscow, young Chechens usually participate. It seems that they are the ones who are more aggressive than more mature, adult Chechens, say, your age and older. Are you trying to solve the problem of young Chechens?

Yes, there is such a problem. I don't know how to decide. With us they are quieter than water - words will not allow unnecessary things. Those who did not live in the USSR are terra incognita for me - that is, I see that we speak the same language, they know my customs, but that’s all. People are from another planet for me.

I have a friend who is a computer scientist. His 18-year-old nephew from Shali came to visit him. It would seem that no IT specialist will find common language With modern teenager, which sticks out from the laptop from morning to evening? Not found. “I don’t know what I can talk to him about. It's completely dark. That is, it’s not easy to be illiterate, but tabula rasa,” a friend later complained. And the boy, by the way, has excellent Unified State Exam scores.

Again, the young Chechens you are asking about arrived. Those who grew up in Moscow are naturally different.

I really don’t know, I’ve thought about this many times already. I wish I could flog them... I repeat: with older Chechens, that is, with us, they are mega-correct.

— How do Chechens—both those who come to Moscow and those who live in Chechnya itself—treat Russians? Many Russians say that they are best case scenario they feel disdain mixed with ridicule, and, at worst, aggression.

I won’t say anything about modern Chechnya. But when I hear that we are a monoethnic nation, I laugh. They always married Russians. Yes, we rarely got married. But mixed marriages it was full. Remember Dzhokhar Dudayev. So everything was fine before.

And to ask how Moscow Chechens treat Russians... I don’t even formulate it that way for myself. For me there are specific people, everything depends on them. Do I think you're Russian? You are you, that's all.

- “Stop feeding the Caucasus” - do you support this slogan, so popular among many Russians?

Again, I don't know. I don’t really have a good idea of ​​the economy of Chechnya right now. On the one hand, everything was destroyed. On the other hand, I myself think all the time: where do 18-year-old boys get Mercedes? And there are many of these people traveling around Moscow.

I’ll say a banality: if only bribe-takers, kickbacks, “let’s agree” and everything that you journalists call corruption were removed everywhere, then we would have to feed less. But someone here also benefits from this feeding?

Turpal Sulaev, businessman (name and surname fictitious)

— Two decades in the capital is a considerable period. Are you a Muscovite, a Moscow Chechen, or just a Chechen? Who do you feel like?

How do I feel about self-identification? Is this what the question must be? I will answer simply, without anything: the way I was born is the way I was born.

I'll try to explain. For a Chechen, freedom is the main thing. We are all born free - we understood this long before the Declaration of Human Rights. Far for a long time. “Hello” in Chechen translates to “walk free” The Chechen Everything is based on this.

— When people in Moscow find out your nationality, do you feel apprehension or negativity on their part?

I felt both, and even in Soviet, extremely international times. Natsmen is a Soviet euphemism. Like "chocks". Although I am Caucasian by type. In English, if anyone doesn’t know, caucasian. Caucasian, that is. This is what zealots of racial purity once called the standard of the white race. The Irony of Fate...

If someone tells me to my face, the gods will not envy him. I'll sweep it away. The Scots, by the way, are also basically Highlanders, say: Nemo me impune lacessit (“No one will touch me with impunity”).

But I won’t say that I’m particularly worried about this, I’ve already grown up.

- “Shooting weddings”, dancing in the streets, racing in cool cars... Why do your compatriots periodically behave so wildly?

“Shooting weddings” - to be honest, it’s in the genes. Read Russian classics. In particular, the most worthy one - Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov. Why do I call him by Father? But because, being a boy of about 25, he showed miracles of courage and masculine, military dignity. Warrior, in a word.

Well, also Tolstoy’s “Hadji Murat”. If it’s not enough, then German Sadulaev, if anyone is not familiar. A man who has never fought described how a Chechen feels a weapon. For example, at one time I relieved an acute toothache with shots from the Shmel. This is who we are.

Although there are tons of clowns. I'm sure they don't know how to shoot a slingshot. Seriously.

— The problem of Chechen fathers and Chechen children: young people seem sharper, more aggressive, and behave defiantly. Is there really a problem with the younger generation of Chechens? If there is such a problem, are you, adult Chechens, trying to somehow solve it?

They behave this way because I am not them, sorry for the tautology. They are the children of the wrong parents. Children of the nouveau riche-light, offspring of thieving bureaucrats from the colonial administration. Subsidized, in a word. What do you want from them in the capital of the metropolis, eaten up by the terrible corrosion of decline?

— Are there any values ​​in your life that your Russian colleagues and friends do not understand? Are you defending them?

The values ​​of a Chechen are actually not very different from the values ​​of a man of any nationality.

We also respect our elders.

— What is the hardest thing for you as a Chechen in Moscow?

Xenophobia is off the charts. And so we are tolerant. Although it should not be tolerated in the capital of a state of 150 million people. "I think so!" - as Frunzik from Mimino said.

No, nothing heavy here. I have been living here for over twenty years. If it were unbearable, I would fade away. Although, to be honest, the family has not been in Moscow for a long time (our interlocutor’s family lives abroad - Ed. ). I work here, all alone.

— Is it even possible to solve the problem of xenophobia, which is off the charts, as you say?

Solve the problem of people from the Caucasus? You screwed up! It sounds medical. I can guess how many people think exactly this way!

Seriously, I would put the people responsible for this very decision in London, New York, Toronto or Paris for a couple of years. Maybe we could learn something useful. Although I suspect that their families are learning multiculturalism there. They melt, so to speak, in a cauldron, like cheese in butter.

— How do Chechens feel about Russians?

Attitude towards Russians? More than 200 years of confrontation, two genocides in one twentieth century. How to treat your older brother, as Soviet propaganda said? Not really. Far from it.

Although in the distant 80s, when I was a shepherd high in the Caucasus mountains (I didn’t want to go into the army in the fall), one adult (sounds like the beginning of the most banal toast?) told me: never underestimate the Russian Ivan. That's what he said. And he knew what he was saying: he had been in prison for 25 years in the Turukhansk region, and he himself was far from timid. Almost like the “father of nations” - a raider.

There is probably a problem with the attitude of young Chechens towards Russians. It would be strange if, after two wars, there had not been almost extermination throughout their young lives.

How am I trying to solve this problem? Married a Russian. No kidding.

— There is a slogan: “Stop feeding the Caucasus.” What do you think of him?

“Stop feeding the Caucasus” is the election cry for the Okhlos. If we were smarter, we would look through the statistical data...

Material prepared by: Ksenia Fedorova, Alexander Gazov

I admit, I doubted for a long time whether it was worth pursuing this story at all. And then the Internet is full of remarks, they say, it is unacceptable for a Chechen to marry a Russian, that this is a disgrace to the whole family... But there were other statements... Russian women and men talked about how happy they are in marriages with Chechens . By the way, my friend’s sister has been married to a man of this nationality for 20 years, and she has never regretted it in her life. She dotes on her husband, and is especially proud of her mother-in-law, who blows away specks of dust from her... We hope that our story will also join the happy list of mixed marriages...

Andrei spent his childhood in the Yaroslavl outback. Like all boys at that time, he loved to play war games. “We dug trenches, made machine guns from improvised materials and shouted “Hurray!” they rushed into a fight with the boys from the neighboring yard,” Andrey recalls. “Our team always won, which earned us honor and respect among our peers throughout the region. We especially loved to show off to the girls; for them we were real heroes.”

As a child, Andrei fell in love with a girl from the neighboring yard. She declared that she would only marry a soldier. Then the young man decided that he would never shirk the army. He was drafted in November 1999 and sent to serve in the city of Chistye Prudy. “I was lucky, I became the personal driver of my commander, Colonel Grigory Fedorovich Efremov. - says Andrey. - He was an amazing man! I bring him for lunch, and he says to his wife: “Give Andryukha two servings, he worked for two today!” And try to refuse the treat - you will be seriously offended! When my mother visited me, she was surprised at what they feed us in the army, that I became twice as big! The news that the commander was transferred to the reserve came as a real surprise to me. But, as they say, trouble does not come alone... There was a rumor in the unit that they were recruiting soldiers for Chechnya. In the barracks, we often watched the news and knew that there were battles going on... One frosty winter morning, we were alerted earlier than usual and ordered to get ready for the road. Officially they said: we are going to an exercise. In Yekaterinburg we received equipment, machine guns, and equipment. They only told us that we were being taken to Chechnya when we crossed the border. It was then that they informed us that desertion and looting would be punishable by execution, and from now on we live according to the laws of war.”

– How did you feel about coming to war?

– When I was young, it was interesting at first. I wanted to show myself, to be a hero. Well, I was a little afraid, of course. After all, war can kill you. But there was no great fear. Everything became clear when they first came under fire. Then I simply counted the days and hours. In war there are no plans, you just live every minute as if it were your last. There was no permanent location - we moved around: Gudermes, Argun, Shali, Chechen-aul. I remember there was a plane on the road, an overturned excavator, and cars. At the entrance to the village we saw corpses - legs in the car, a body on the side of the road... We arrived at the scene. There were scouts there. We look - they are crawling. We ask: how are you, what’s going on here? They: “What, you should fall, there’s a sniper working here!” And when it started whistling...

– Did you have to come face to face with militants?

- No, they didn’t come close to our unit, there were tanks in front, and infantry in front of them. There were serious fights. Before my eyes, our guys were shot at and blown up, but the militants were 500 meters away. The fighting took place mainly at night, so you could only see the lights of the shots. Although once near Chechen-aul, when the Wahhabis went to break through neighboring positions, it was as bright as day from flares and shots.

One early spring morning, Andrei took the commander to visit the local district police officer, Said. It was especially quiet that day. It seemed that the war was left somewhere behind... Spring in Chechnya was gradually coming into its own, lovingly revealing the indescribable beauty of the local nature. A narrow mountain road led them to a good-quality brick house with an attic. A middle-aged man with a thick black beard stood on the threshold, arms outstretched in greeting. “Oh, what people! Said exclaimed. “Please, as they say, come to our hut...”

While the men were talking at the table, Said's wife and the black-eyed girl - his stepdaughter - brought food. “You’re a good guy, Andrey,” the hospitable host joked. - Maybe I should marry Zarina to you? We would become related!”

“Yes, I’m ready to get married even now,” Andrey laughed. - When should I carry the bride price? “Zarina looked furtively at the fair-haired guy, their gazes crossed... “Okay,” the girl said and immediately ran away to the kitchen. They saw each other for the second time only in October. This meeting turned out to be decisive. “We went to visit Said again, and I accidentally ended up alone with Zarina,” recalls Andrey. – We started talking. It seemed to me that I had known her for an eternity. I realized that I love her."

Andrey began to come to Said almost every day. The lovers almost did not communicate in private. During their conversations, someone was always present: either a stepfather, or a mother, or elder sister. Andrei tried not to violate local traditions; he gave gifts to the girl only with the permission of his mother. And then he asked for Zarina’s hand, having previously secured the consent of the chosen one.

“I approached Said and said that I wanted to take Zarina as my wife and was ready to pay any bride price,” continues Andrey.

- Zarina is not for me own daughter. “I can’t decide for her,” Said replied. – She has a father and a mother. Only they can give consent to the marriage.

But Zarina’s mother flatly refused to even talk about the wedding. “I know that Zarina likes you very much. All her conversations are only about you. I like you too, that’s why our family treats you like family. But there are traditions. My relatives will curse me; if she marries a Russian, I will not live. My daughter will never become your wife."

The lover approached his relatives more than once. There was only one answer: no. Then Andrei invited Zarina to run away with him to Yaroslavl...

Telephone number for searching people and placing advertisements in the “Looking for You” section: 8-910-278-76-80.

Up ▲ — Reader reviews (1) — Write a review ▼ - Print version

It would be better to do something useful