Who should say hello first? Learning to greet correctly: the meaning of greeting words in the culture of different nations

Any meeting begins with a greeting. We say words appropriate to each other for the occasion, shake hands, accompany phrases with a bow, removal of a hat, and a kiss on the hand. By observing greeting etiquette, we express our friendly attitude and disposition and show respect. And, on the contrary, the absence on our part of welcoming phrases and/or appropriate actions when meeting a familiar person may be regarded by him as an insult.

Greeting etiquette: turn

1. According to generally accepted rules, the first person to say hello is

♦ man with woman;

♦ younger in age with older;

♦ the one who approaches, with the one who stands;

♦ the one who arrived later than the appointed time, with those who came earlier;

♦ subordinate with manager;

♦ located at a lower level in the social hierarchy with someone who occupies a higher level.

2. According to the rules of etiquette, a man greets both women and other men while standing. Saying a greeting phrase while sitting is permissible only in cases where he is sick, has reached an advanced age, or is in an official setting.

3. If a man is much older than a woman, she greets the older man first.

4. There are generally accepted norms for married couples. The ladies should greet each other first, then the men say greetings to the women, and after that to each other.

Handshake

In ancient times, this action served as a signal of peacefulness. By extending his hand, the man seemed to say: “I came with good intentions, there is no weapon in my hand.” IN modern society a handshake is a sign of goodwill. It is not a mandatory ritual, but is often used to complete words of greeting.

5. When meeting people of different sexes, the right to decide on a handshake belongs to the woman. She should be the first to offer her hand. But if a man does this first, his action will not be a gross violation of the norms of greeting etiquette (in a number of European countries, an initiative on the part of a man is quite acceptable).

6. The elder should be the first to shake hands with the younger. In any case, the outstretched hand should not remain hanging in the air. Not returning a handshake is tantamount to an insult.

7. Served for a handshake right hand. If she is busy, dirty or injured, you can perform a greeting ritual with your left. But at the same time you should apologize.

8. Greeting etiquette allows women not to remove their gloves either indoors (if it is part of the toilet) or outdoors.

9. In a situation where you approach a group and shake hands with one person, do the same with the rest of those present.

10. When shaking hands, follow the “golden mean” rule. You should not demonstrate heroic strength. This is especially inappropriate for women. However, a too weak, limp handshake can hardly be considered a greeting.

Words

11. It is customary to say “hello” in a friendly tone or, depending on the time, “ Good morning", "Good afternoon", " Good evening" If in a normal setting it is enough to use just this form of address, then in an official setting you should call the person by name and patronymic (for example: “Hello, Olga Vasilievna!”, “Good afternoon, Pavel Petrovich!”) or add a surname or title.

12. When greeting someone, look into their eyes, and don’t wander around.

Knowing the rules of greeting etiquette is an opportunity to act relaxed and confident in any society. Ours is a guarantee of a warm welcome, friendliness and sympathy from others.

Young people often avoid communicating with the opposite sex not because they lack self-confidence, but because of a simple lack of knowledge of etiquette. How to greet a girl? Oddly enough, not everyone can answer this question.

Of course, if the girl is an old acquaintance, for example a classmate or neighbor, then such a question is irrelevant. But when it comes to a pretty stranger whom you want to make a good impression on, the rules of etiquette become important.

What do we have to do?

The main points of the rules on how to greet a girl do not depend on the closeness of the relationship. When greeting a young woman, you should:

• look into her eyes;
• raise your headgear, if you have one;
• say after “hello” a general phrase, for example, about good weather or “glad to see you”;
• smile.

These are the basic rules that you need to follow when greeting a girl.

What can't you do?

As a rule, when a guy greets a girl, he makes the following mistakes:

• violates her personal space by coming too close;
• shows familiarity in speech or uses obscene, slang words, or slang;
• grabs her by the arms or tries to hug her by the shoulders or waist;
• looks to the side or at the ground;
• does not smile;
• mutters through clenched teeth, speaks too quietly or, conversely, loudly;
• says something unintelligible.

All this happens due to anxiety and lack of a clear understanding of how to behave. But not every girl will understand this. Most young women will come to the logical conclusion: in front of them is “some kind of idiot,” an ill-mannered boor or a bore. If a guy doesn’t make eye contact and doesn’t smile, then the girl immediately decides that she’s not interesting, and, of course, won’t strive to communicate.

Is it necessary to shake hands?

You should only shake a girl’s hand if she initiates this action. The handshake ritual itself is significantly different from that of men. If a young woman extends her hand, the man has two options on how to react to this action.

Option one is to shake your fingers. It is the fingers, and not the entire palm, as is customary when shaking hands between men.

Option two is to kiss the hand. As a rule, middle-aged men resort to kissing; such a gesture is rare among young people. But he makes an impression on the girls. Of course, there is no need to slobber on a young woman’s fingers or make smacking sounds. A kiss from a distant man should be on the outside just above the bones of the base of the fingers. From loved one- on back side palms or wrists. If a young man courting a girl kisses her hand, then it is appropriate to touch her fingers with her lips.

What to talk about?

The concept of how to greet a girl correctly involves not only the greeting itself, but also a couple of general, non-binding phrases. This important point which should not be neglected.

For example, if you say “hello” and nothing more than that, then there will be no reason for further communication. In response, the same short “hello” usually sounds, the girl continues to go about her business, or, if the meeting happened on the street, she moves on. Guys, as a rule, sigh and also continue the actions that were interrupted by the meeting.

But the situation can completely change if you add the same banal “how are you” to the template “hello” and at the same time look the girl in the eyes, waiting for an answer. Usually young women say that everything is fine with them and ask a similar question. You can answer anything, because the dialogue has already begun.

That is, the meaning is in any phrase that complements the greeting. This is a chance for communication. These phrases may not lead to a long conversation, but in any case they will help establish contact. This means that after a couple of such greetings, the girl will begin to perceive the guy as a good acquaintance or even a friend.

What to consider?

Modern etiquette is not particularly restrictive young man how to greet a girl. It was much more difficult for young gentlemen of the century before last, because there were many more different conventions in life.

When considering how best to greet a young woman, you should clearly understand who she is. You need to greet a friend or neighbor differently than you do with a lover or a girl you like. The greeting said to a colleague should be different from the way one greets a friend's girlfriend or one's own girlfriend. And, of course, the greeting is influenced by the degree of proximity and length of acquaintance.

What to focus on?

There is a little psychological trick in how to greet a girl so that she is pleased and communication develops. It consists in the perception and repetition of her communication style, the so-called mirroring.

This means that you need to greet a young woman the same way she does it herself. For example, if a girl hugs or kisses you on the cheek when you meet, you shouldn’t assume that this is a sign of showing feelings. Most likely, this is how it is customary to greet people in her family or company. There is no need to be embarrassed or put off the young woman; on the contrary, you should behave in a similar way, but without crossing the boundaries. That is, do not squeeze the girl tightly and for a long time.

The same can be attributed to the manner of speaking, and to many other things. However, this style of greeting, that is, duplicating the girl’s behavior, is only suitable for communicating with relaxed and active women. Shy people should be greeted according to the traditional rules of etiquette.

Etiquette requires greeting other people by following certain rules. With your greeting you need to demonstrate to people your good disposition towards them, as well as your good upbringing and culture. Let's take a closer look at how to greet correctly.

Who should you say hello to?

A well-mannered person should greet not only people he knows, but also strangers, especially those with whom he periodically meets. These are neighbors, store clerks, bank tellers, waiters in cafes, taxi drivers, etc.

What words to start a greeting with?

Depending on how well you know the person and what status he occupies, the greeting can be either as laconic and simple as possible, or emphatically respectful and official.

With people you don’t know well, it’s enough to exchange classic greeting phrases like:

• Good afternoon/evening/morning!
• Hello!

They greet management and people of advanced age, adding an address by name and patronymic. For example:

• Hello, Alexander Alexandrovich!
• Good afternoon, Natalya Filippovna!

You can greet people you know well, with whom you have no age or social differences, using simpler forms of greeting, including colloquial and slang forms. So, you can greet friends, for example, with the following words:

• Hello!
• Great, etc.

Only friends and relatives can be addressed as “you”. In all other cases, it would be more correct to address it as “you”, unless there is another agreement in the team. A simplified address to a person by name (without a patronymic), but with “you”, is often used. However, before using such a form, it is better to study in more detail the rules that apply in a particular social environment. If you want to move on to addressing a person on a first-name basis, you should first ask his consent.

Who says hello first?

The first to say hello is always:

• Those who have just entered the room with those who are already in it;
• Younger with older;
• Men with women;
• Subordinates with superiors;
• Students with teachers.

Under equal conditions, the first person to say hello is the one who managed to do it earlier, or the one who turned out to be more polite and friendly.

How to greet a man and a woman?

Etiquette introduces clear rules on how representatives of the same sex, as well as representatives of different sexes, should greet each other.

• Man to man. Usually they greet with a handshake, and the one who is younger or lower in rank should shake hands. social status(subordinate to boss). You can also limit yourself to a small bow. Students and teachers greet each other without shaking hands. If a man greets a person many steps above him on the social ladder (for example, a junior manager with the CEO of a company), or a man much older than him, then it would be appropriate to raise his hat or slightly touch it (this does not apply to other hats). ), get up from your seat. You can sit down only after the person suggests it, or after he has sat down himself.
• Woman with woman. If the meeting is of a business nature, the ladies can exchange light handshakes. If you meet friends or relatives, you can exchange kisses on the cheek and hugs. If two couples meet, the ladies always greet each other, then the women greet the men, and then only the men greet each other.
• A man with a woman. In most cases, the man greets first. If it happens on the street, then the man should pause a little, lift his hat or touch its brim. If a woman offers her hand in greeting, the man can kiss her. To do this, you need to shake your hand, lean slightly towards it and lightly touch your lips for a couple of seconds. Previously, such a ritual was mandatory for all gentlemen, but today you can do without it, limiting yourself, for example, to a slight bow.
• Woman with man. A lady should greet a man first if he is higher than her in social status or significantly older. In these cases, it would be quite appropriate to even get up from your seat. Also, the woman is the first to offer her hand to the man for a greeting handshake - regardless of whether there are social or age differences between them.

How do people from other countries greet?

Handshakes and polite bows and greetings are used almost all over the world. However, according to ancient customs, some countries still have their own greeting traditions.

• Americans may give you a friendly pat on the back or shoulder.
• The French actively practice quickly touching their cheeks, while their lips make the sound of a kiss.
• Eskimos lightly touch their friend's shoulder and head with their fist.
• Polynesians rub noses together.
• Thais bow in greeting by touching their faces with folded palms (as in prayer).

Most of us work in teams and spend long time in an office full of other people. Even very reserved people still have to communicate and interact in one way or another with colleagues and management - and at the same time follow an unwritten set of rules that govern such relationships. What can you do and what should you avoid in your habits to make life in the office comfortable and relaxed?

Strangers: to say hello or not?

Often office premises are located in a large building - accordingly, on the way to workplace and back again you constantly meet a lot of complete strangers. Do you need to say hello to every person you meet?

No, no one is obliged to say hello to everyone, but a slight smile and a nod of the head will not make it too difficult for anyone and will lift the spirits of all participants in the meeting. Rules good manners and common sense advises not to ignore the people in the building—especially those you pass in the morning on your way to the office every day.

Open space: how to welcome everyone?

This kind of workspace organization occurs quite often - so what to do in this case? Should I greet everyone at once or approach everyone personally to wish them a good day?

The first option is correct. You need to greet everyone in the open space at the same time, using neutral phrases like “good afternoon,” or even “hello” if the relationship between colleagues is quite informal. After this, you can calmly go to those colleagues with whom you have closer relationships or do things together for a detailed greeting and discuss your plans for the day.

Outerwear and things: where to leave them?

We show up at the office fully dressed - and the climate most of the year is such that it’s easy to move around the streets. business suit not too comfortable. Where to put and where to store raincoats or fur coats and other clothes?

As a rule, there is some kind of dressing room in the office - and any additional clothes and accessories should be stored there. You shouldn’t hang a fur coat, even the most luxurious and expensive one, on the back of an office chair, much less put it on the table. It looks pretty sloppy in the case of even the most beautiful things and will distract both you and your colleagues from work processes.

Umbrellas should be folded and hung on a hook or hanger - when open, they can only stand in a utility room or where they definitely won’t disturb anyone. You definitely shouldn't leave an open umbrella, forcing your colleagues to jump over it, next to their desk - it's inconvenient for everyone and will give the whole office an odd look.

Desktop: what can be on it?

At work, they evaluate your professional and business qualities first - and only then they love you for your character traits: kindness, responsiveness and a penchant for collecting cute elephants or funny ones. soft toys. It is very important to remember this when you intend to place on your desktop some valuable object or thing that is not directly related to the work process.

Etiquette allows the use of one or two photographs of people close to you in a neat frame or a small and not too noticeable object like a box. It’s better to put everything else in desk drawers or a cabinet.

Telephone: how to conduct personal conversations?

The mechanism here is very simple: in the event of something really important or urgent, a personal conversation can be carried out without leaving your workplace. The dialogue should be conducted in a normal emotional tone, in a low voice and last no longer than two minutes in a room where there are no planning sessions or meetings - especially if you are directly involved in them. The need to talk to someone at home or friends may arise at any time for each of us; this is normal and does not raise any questions for anyone.

In all other situations, you should go out into the corridor or another room where you will not distract anyone with your conversations or ask the interlocutor to call back at another time - you are not obligated to specify the reason for this.

If you need to record a conversation on a voice recorder using a speakerphone, you must definitely warn your interlocutor and colleagues about this - it is you who are responsible for confidentiality issues during recording and for the problem of maintaining the comfort of others, so you must adapt to them, and not vice versa.

Comments to colleagues: is it worth doing?

None of us are perfect—and your colleagues may be understandably irritated by the way they mis-emphasize words or misuse professional terminology. Is it worth expressing your dissatisfaction out loud in front of the whole team or do you need to find another way to convey information?

Etiquette suggests the need to resort to the second option: in the first case, you will probably put the person in an awkward position and make an enemy among your colleagues. It is unlikely that you need this, even if your initial intentions and motives were exclusively good and aimed at improving a particular colleague.

It is reasonable to sensitively raise the issue you are interested in in a friendly manner for general conversation during a break, without specifying the identity of the person making the mistake. If this doesn’t work, you can invite your colleague for a cup of coffee one-on-one and calmly, politely point out the mistake, starting the conversation with the fact that you wish him well.

Closed office door: should I knock?

You can easily enter common areas without knocking. If we are talking about separate offices, then in this case it is necessary to maintain the privacy of personal boundaries. Before entering, you need to knock - not too loudly and persistently, even if the door is slightly open.

If you have received a positive response-invitation, you can safely enter. If there is no answer, but you know that the person is definitely at work, it makes sense to wait a few minutes and try again. After knocking, a simple question is appropriate: “Can I come in?” If an employee is busy or talking on the phone, he will let you know this - verbally or with signs. In this case, you need to make another attempt to achieve contact, but not earlier than half an hour later, so as not to seem intrusive, even if your matter is of exceptional urgency.

Strangers: how to behave with them?

Sometimes you may find yourself alone with people you barely know - they could be colleagues, visiting employees, or some clients or partners who were invited to negotiations or a planning meeting. What to do if the event doesn’t start at all, and you spend time in the confined space of your work room?

Try to have an easy and non-committal conversation, introducing yourself clearly and clearly. If your interlocutor is also in the mood to communicate, he will gladly seize this opportunity to talk - and great. In the case when your counterpart’s answers are stingy and clearly reluctant, it is better to stop imposing communication and occupy yourself in any other way - drawing in a notebook or looking out the window, for example.

During such a dialogue, try to leave space for answers, refrain from making jokes that are too flat and hackneyed - then you will not look like an obsessive chatterbox and idle talker.

Lunch at your desk: yes or no?

A definite “no”. This will distract other employees with sounds or smells, which is inappropriate for them. If your office does not have a special room for eating, go to a cafe or restaurant for lunch, take a walk to a bench in the park, or find some other way to satisfy your hunger. The maximum allowed in the workplace is a cup of tea or coffee; etiquette completely allows this.

Gifts for colleagues: what and how?

Fortunately for many of us, most companies have an established tradition of giving gifts for significant events or dates; they either collect a strictly certain amount from all employees, or find some other way to congratulate the birthday person, for example.

If you want to give a gift on your own behalf, you should think several times about how appropriate and correct it will be. There is no definite answer here; everyone is guided by their own intuition and sense of taste and proportion. No one is obliged to bring gifts from a trip for all colleagues at once, and you can give almost anything to those employees in the office who are close or pleasant to you, but you should not give too expensive or specific gifts.

WHO SHOULD HEALTH FIRST

When meeting people you know or people you want to talk to, be sure to say hello. On the street, it is customary to bow not only to acquaintances, but also to people who live next door, walk the same road and at the same time to work, or use the same vehicle as you. They also greet those to whom you or who have done some service for you.

According to established custom, the man greets the woman first, the junior greets the elder, and the subordinate greets the boss. A young girl or young woman is the first to bow to an older man. A man will not fail to be the first to greet a woman he knows, a young man to an older colleague, etc. It happens that, without waiting for a greeting, old man the first greets the younger one, although it should be the other way around. If someone inadvertently does not greet you, you should not see this as malicious intent.

It’s another matter if an acquaintance deliberately does not greet you or does not return your bow. In this case, stop greeting him. If you know the person well, directly ask him for an explanation.

It is not customary for a woman to be the first to greet her boss who is the same age as her or younger. In society, a boss should be the first to greet his employee.

When a person younger than you in age or occupying a lower position in the service is in the company of one or more women, you are obliged to bow first.

If you want to ask a stranger to give some instructions or provide a service, then first say hello politely, and then state your request.

If you cannot understand whether you know the person you meet or not, then do the right thing by bowing to him. In the village it is customary to greet everyone, even people you have never seen before. This is a good custom. When strangers greet you, answer them kindly. In the village, nothing prevents you from greeting everyone you meet.

You can perfectly say hello to strangers people you meet on the stairs of a residential building or in an elevator. When entering a doctor's waiting room, a railway carriage compartment, etc., be sure to bow.

When you meet someone you just greeted a short time ago, you can say hello again if you intend to engage in conversation with them. If not, just make a slight bow, raising your hat.

Say hello to your acquaintances not only when you are sure that they see you, but also when you do not know whether they will notice your bow. It doesn't matter if you don't get a response in this case. If you happen to meet the same person again soon, then say hello again, which will give you the opportunity to determine whether he deliberately did not return the first bow or not. If you see someone avoiding eye contact with you, don't say hello, as they obviously don't want that. It may happen that you are late to notice an acquaintance whom you should have bowed to. At your next meeting, apologize to him.

Greet acquaintances whom you see in a window or on a balcony while walking down the street. You should not call them loudly or engage in long conversations. If you see from the window that an acquaintance passing along the street wants to talk to you, then invite him to enter the house or go outside yourself.

When a company has gathered in a house, the newcomer usually greets everyone present. If there are many guests sitting around a large table, you should, upon entering the room, say a general greeting loudly and clearly. Close friends and table neighbors can once again bow separately.

A guest who arrives when everyone is already sitting at the table should first greet the women, then the men. With her husband - if he is among the guests - she greets the latter. A man who arrives when the whole company is already assembled greets first all the women present, then his wife if she is sitting at the table, and then the men. An exception is made if some prominent person is present - he is greeted first. It happens that in such an environment spouses forget to greet each other - this is a mistake. Of course, hugging and kissing is not appropriate here.

When all the tables in a restaurant are occupied, but there are some free places, then before sitting down, greet those sitting at the table and ask permission to take a chair. When leaving the common table, say goodbye - just nod your head slightly. In a theater or concert hall box, before sitting down, bow to your neighbors.

When passing someone on the stairs or in the corridor, do not forget to bow. When answering a greeting, always turn towards the person who is overtaking. It happens that people who meet begin to bow to each other from afar. It also happens the other way around - one waits for the other to bow, and as a result they greet each other when they are already equal, or do not greet at all. It doesn't look nice. You should always bow politely and naturally; you should not defiantly and defiantly wait for the other to say hello - this way, many misunderstandings will be avoided.

A man walking down the street accompanied by another must bow to the one who greets his companion, even if he himself does not know him. In this case, the woman responds to the greeting, unless it clearly refers to her. If the person you are walking with greets someone you don't know, you should also bow. Spouses bow together on the street with another married couple, even if they do not know one of the spouses. Friends walking down the street together both greet someone they meet, whom only one of them knows.

When coming to visit, they greet first the mistress of the house, then the owner, the rest of the women, if possible by age, starting with the older ones, and finally the men (in the same order). Young children should be taught to greet adults and children politely. You should talk to your children a little and reach out to them.

An outstanding person is always given preference and greeted first. Entering a room where guests have already sat down at the table, first of all they greet the hostess, the owner, and then the guests in the order in which they are sitting, without distinction of gender or social status.

Even one who was not personally introduced to him can bow to a public figure or artist - this is an expression of respect.

Following the rules on how to greet people when communicating with people will help avoid many misunderstandings during everyday meetings. The point here is not about formalities, but about real respect for people, without pretentiousness and unnatural bows.