How do men test women for their “suitability” as a spouse? What qualities are important for a future wife? How to behave to make a positive impression? Let's talk about it! Angela Kharitonova, practical psychologist.
Anna (Maria Golubkina) fell in love with a pathetic homeless man. And the fact that he turned out to be the rich Baron Paul de Rousseau was a pleasant addition to the sincere feeling! (Still from the film “The Frenchman”).
I have been dating a man for two years and I really want to marry him. But he says he needs to make sure I'm a good wife. I try to show myself both as a mistress and as a lover. But he is in no hurry to propose. How long can you test me? Evgenia, 27 years old, Tula.
Is it a man's business to check?
It is normal for a woman to “test” a man. This has always been the case. Men, unlike women, rarely check their chosen ones. They are more direct and specific than women. Cunning is a woman's tool. If a man is in love, he is unlikely to check his lady; rather, he will not even notice the flaws. But now there is a type of man who may not marry for a long time and constantly “test” his chosen one for the role of wife, and sometimes at the same time “test” other women. Of course, such a man, deep down in his soul, does not want to get married, but wants to prolong his free state. This happens in those whose mind prevails over their feelings. Divorced men are especially prone to checks (they don’t want to get burned a second time).
What types of “tests” are there?
For sincerity of feelings
Every man wants to be loved sincerely, simply for being who he is. After all, there are now many women who dream of getting married for convenience. The calculation varies (does not necessarily mean for the rich). Leave your parents, move to nice apartment, just get the status married woman- it's all calculation. In general, everything except love.
Very wealthy men who have “eaten down” on fake love are especially comfortable with such tests “for the sincerity of feelings.” For example, he may not immediately disclose his financial situation, business, or come to old car, dress simply. If a woman expresses disappointment, she gets a bad mark!
Advice. Be more interested in the personality of your chosen one. Ask everything about him, starting from childhood and adolescence - what he was like, what he dreamed about, what and who he loved most. How does he live now? What are his spiritual needs? But this should not look like empty curiosity; be sincerely interested. And ask him less about his position, money, house, car, etc. If you are interested in this question, just watch.
To hysteria
No man dreams of marrying a hysterical woman. Men can't stand women's tantrums. Unfortunately, hysteria sometimes comes along with passion in bed, and then the man who marries a hysterical woman out of passionate love has to endure it. How can a man test you for hysterics? Do something that you clearly don't like. For example, flirting with your friend, forgetting to call you, being late for a date, giving you a stuffed monkey instead of a long-awaited ring for your birthday... Sometimes these situations don’t even need to be created on purpose, they happen on their own. If your reaction is to scream, cry, or swear, you may be labeled “hysterical.” But if such situations are repeated too often, maybe this man is just selfish or does he like to torment you?
Advice. If this happens, talk about your thoughts and feelings, but calmly. Pretending that you don't care is also not worth it.
For alcohol
One of the most popular tests is: how will a lady behave under the influence? To do this, you need to get your chosen one drunk and listen to what she says about herself, how relaxed she behaves, and whether she flirts with others. Men don't like it when a woman drinks like them and behaves inappropriately.
Advice. You yourself know how alcohol affects you. If you become too liberated and your tongue loosens, you tend to freak out, cry or make unnecessary revelations, limit yourself, even if the man persuades you a lot.
For housekeeping
If a man considers you as a future wife, this topic is very important to him. To test your thriftiness, all he needs to do is watch you. The first thing is to come to your home. There is order, cleanliness and comfort - wonderful! The second is to invite you to my place. Will you act like a guest all the time or show some housekeeping - cook something, wash the dishes, take part in creating comfort in his apartment?
Advice. Don't invite a man home if you're a mess. Host his house yourself only if the man has made it clear to you that he sees you as a potential wife. If a man looks at you as a temporary option, your active desire to “show housekeeping” in his home can drive him crazy! He will think that you are forcing yourself on him as a wife. If you are not sure, you can ask him if he would like you to help him clean up, cook a delicious dinner in his house, etc. You can show your thriftiness in a different way - invite him to your place for pies or pancakes.
Anecdote on topic
One man wanted to get married. He had three contenders. He decided to check them to see who would be better suited for the role of wife. He gave each one a thousand dollars and saw who would use it how. The first spent everything on herself, the second spent everything on him, the third spent part on herself and part on him. He thought, thought and married the one...who has longer legs!
This happens in life too. Checks are checked, but your sexuality will still play one of the main roles, and often a decisive role! Don't forget about this.
By the way
How will you behave in difficult situation?
Any man may experience temporary difficulties in life - financial losses, job loss, illness, troubles with relatives, etc. If you are aiming for a future wife, a man should be sure that he can rely on you. That you will not change your attitude towards him, that you will support and help him. It is unlikely that a man will deliberately create difficulties for himself in order to test you. But he will clearly pay attention to how you behave in difficult moments of his life. Do you care when he is sick? Do you support him when he is upset? Can you sacrifice your interests in some way?
Dear readers!
Have questions for a psychologist? Write to the editorial office: 300026, Tula-26, PO Box 1431 marked “Very personal” or to . Psychologist Angela Kharitonova will answer your questions, and we will publish them on the pages of the newspaper.
A man rarely dares to serious relationship, guided by feelings alone. Distrustful by nature, representatives of the stronger sex want to be confident in their future life partner.
The verification process begins unconsciously: during communication, a man pays attention to his ability to behave in society, behavior in an unexpected situation, reaction to jokes, communication with his friends. From such unconscious checks, a preliminary image of the chosen one is formed.
Deliberate checks are another matter - having encountered deception once, a man will think through a complex system of tests for a new acquaintance.
Loyalty is a sore point
The most common test on the part of men is the test of fidelity. Loyalty is the main quality of a woman for a man, which can outweigh beauty, intelligence, and good manners.
The simplest verification option: SMS from an unknown number with an offer to meet. A modified method is communication in in social networks from someone else’s or fake profile, an attempt to start flirting, invite you on a date. A woman may view this as an innocent joke, meaningless communication, but the man is already drawing conclusions.
Another favorite male trick is to be late for a date. And at this time to suitable for a girl his friend will try to charm her, get her phone number. So you need to be on your guard and not succumb to provocation.
A cunning lover of checks can send an anonymous bouquet of flowers, a cute trinket by courier, and wait for a reaction: if the girl thanks him for the gift, then she has no one else in mind.
Commercialism check
Many men, especially wealthy ones, are afraid of arranged marriages and want to see a girl next to them who is not obsessed with money. Therefore, they give the chosen one a test of commercialism. The scenario for such a test has been known for a long time: just remember the fairy tale about King Thrushbeard. Over time, only the details change. A man hides his financial situation: he can come on a date in an old car, or even on a bicycle, dress simply, and bring a girl to a “dead” Khrushchev building. At the same time, he carefully observes the female reaction.
If you suspect a man is deliberately emphasizing his financial insolvency, do not show obvious interest in financial situation. Be more interested in his personality, ask about his hobbies, dreams, plans. Observe his behavior carefully, and the falseness will immediately become noticeable, since most men are by no means brilliant actors.
Test for reciprocity of feelings
At the beginning of a relationship, when a man is not yet completely sure of a woman’s feelings, he can arrange a test of reciprocity to understand how much he is valued. He may intentionally disappear for a while, stop calling, and will wait for your actions. Thus, he hopes to get an answer: are you worried about him, are you ready to take the first step.
One more check: he may have a light affair with another girl right before your eyes. For example, at a party he will pay special attention to her, whisper something to her while dancing, and hug her. But at the same time, you will quietly observe your reaction: anger, jealousy will convince him of your sincere feelings. Also, a man will highly appreciate your ability to restrain your emotions and not cause a loud scandal in front of strangers.
Checking the limits
At the beginning of dating, a man tries to check what he can afford in a relationship with a woman. For example, raising your voice during an argument, forgetting about a date, or not notifying that it will be delayed. Thus, the man outlines the boundaries of future behavior and checks the possibility of manipulating the woman.
In these cases, your reaction is important: you tolerated it, ignored it, which means that such situations will appear in the future. Remember that a man treats a woman only the way she allows.
Business exam
If a man sees you as a future spouse, he turns on the “Inspector” mode and arranges a check on your thriftiness.
First option: being your guest, he will certainly pay attention to the order, cleanliness, and comfort in your home. Offering help in the kitchen, he will check that the dishes are washed well.
Second option: Having invited a girl to his home, he deliberately makes a little mess, complains that he is tired of semi-finished products, and so wants home-cooked food. In such a situation, it is appropriate to offer to put things in order together and prepare something together. Thus, you will have the opportunity to evaluate his business skills.
A variation of such a test could be an offer to make joint purchases. At the same time, the man observes how rationally the girl uses the allocated amount. In this case, try to observe the measure: do not save too much, choose quality goods, and be sure to please him with some pleasant little thing.
If you understand that a man is testing you, do not show that you have figured out his tricks. It is better to turn too obvious tests into a joke. The best reaction on your part is complete self-control. But in the case when the checks are constantly repeated, you need to think: why is he doing this, what prerequisites did he have to check your feelings? The answer to these questions will help you understand whether you need such a distrustful, suspicious chosen one, and in what direction to develop your relationship.
The question of how to check feelings is probably familiar to many people in love who feel discomfort. They, doubting the love of their other half, always try to look for ways to check how sincere and honest their love, attention and care are.
How can you check your feelings and are there ways to do this? In fact, psychologists have developed a lot of options for how you can quickly and reliably check whether a person really loves you or whether he simply derives some benefit from communicating with you.
Ways to check feelings
The first and most practical is separation. You don’t have to adjust everything, anything can happen in life. For example, a business trip or a trip to visit your mother is one of the excellent options. The essence of the experiment is that you separate for a week or a month. During this time, a guy or a girl, a man or a woman can either stay with their soul mate or break up. It is already becoming clear how to check a man’s feelings for a woman. It really works. There were cases when such a separation ended in divorce, someone simply left for another person.
However, most often, even with such separations, people remained faithful, thereby proving that their love was more than mutual and sincere. You can easily experiment and see whether your significant other loves you or not.
The second way to check the sincerity of feelings is as follows. You have to somehow create a prototype of the girl or guy. The bottom line is that your actions should be aimed at seducing your other half. If you see that a person is ready to leave for someone else, it is unlikely that his feelings can be called sincere and pure.
How to check the word feeling, or rather people’s feelings, but already resorting to other methods? You can simply observe the behavior of your other half. If he or she loves you, it means:
- You will be touched. To be honest, he will always want to hug the one he loves, simply touch his body, his arms. If no one wants to take your hand or hug or kiss you, they are unlikely to love you, and the relationship is not sincere. Be careful in such situations so as not to be the one or the one whose heart and trust in others is broken.
- You will receive compliments for any reason. If you don't know how to test a guy's feelings, just pay attention to how often he tells you pleasant words. If he said something nice with a fake smile on his face, it means he just doesn’t want to tell you about his lack of love just yet. Compliments are a sign of sincerity and reliability.
- They will always understand you and help you in a difficult situation. If you are not loved, then they are unlikely to share your experiences and troubles. However, if there are sincere feelings, the guy will always hug his girlfriend and say some words, and will help everyone in any way he can. And the girl, in turn, will definitely support the guy and help him cope with any difficulties.
How to test a man for the sincerity of his feelings? This is a somewhat unfortunate question, since in such situations it is easier than ever to understand whether there is love between you. The one who loves will appreciate you and value the relationship that was created. Pay attention to what exactly the relationship means to you. young man or older men. If he always tries to be with you and helps you cope with problems in every possible way, then he really loves you.
How to check the sincerity of feelings
How to test a girl's feelings? It’s not worth talking about individual methods, since they were listed above, but a good example can be given with the army. If a guy goes into the army, he will not be home for at least a year, the girl can only wait for her beloved. If she hasn’t left or cheated on anyone, that means her feelings are more than sincere. However, in otherwise You can’t talk about love or anything else.
Ex's feelings: can they be verified?
The question often arises: how to check the feelings of your ex? What if he still loves and we can reunite again? Such questions haunt many girls, since often breakups are unfounded and simply meaningless. It is worth noting that it is quite easy to put everything in its place.
You need to make an appointment, this is the first and main stage. If you meet, everything will be very clear. The one who still loves you will look at you in a special way, talk in an unusual way, but in love. You yourself understand what we are talking about. If a guy doesn’t really want to be with you, he will quickly leave without leaving a single compliment addressed to you. The lover will tell you how beautiful you are, start making compliments and give you a loving look.
Based on the situation, it will be extremely clear whether it makes sense for you to restore connections and create relationships or whether it is a waste of time.
Scorpio and feelings
How does a Scorpio test a girl's feelings? If you evaluate such a zodiac sign, you can note special pickiness and fastidiousness. It's not so easy to prove your love to a Scorpio. After long communication and analysis, a person will be able to understand whether you love him or not. So in relationships with Scorpios, it is important to be active and try to convey the fact that you really love the person.
How to check your ex's feelings Here's the last question – how to check a husband's feelings for his wife? Everything is already clear here. Loving man will give gifts even after 30 years life together. Anyone who does not love will not give anything in the first year after the wedding. By the way, loving husbands very caring, they always try to do the best for their other half. Those who do not care about their wife are immediately noticeable among everyone. They won't do anything for the sake of creating strong family. The most they are capable of is quarrels and scandals over some nonsense.
Checking feelings is actually not that difficult. It is important to simply show special care, since this is the only way to understand whether a person loves you or whether his feelings are not mutual at all and do not exist.
Good day!
It happens in life that whether you like it or not, every girl has to undergo various tests from men.
It would seem that if a man likes you or he loves you, why check?
It's simple, because
male feelings tests are different:
- conscious,
- unconscious.
To the question you are interested in, I will try to give answers as simply and clearly as possible, so that each of you can respond in a timely and correct manner to the man’s next check.
And further. What to do with the information received and how to use it in relationships with men, each girl will decide this question for herself independently. I am not forcing you to take specific actions, since your relationship with men is purely individual.
How a man tests a woman for availability
Conscious checks- these are checks specifically initiated by a man if he doubts a woman’s feelings, is jealous, suspects cheating, or simply wants to make sure that he is the only one for her dear person(I have some doubts about the last point).
These checks are quite banal:
- "SMS" from unknown phone numbers rooms with jokes, gags and an invitation to get to know each other better;
- messages on social networks, about the same;
- unexpected gifts, flowers sent by courier (without a note from anyone or with a note, but without the name of the sender). I think everything is clear here. If you thank him for the gift, it will let him know that he is the only one you have.
- spying on a friend, when he is away, to see who you communicate with, what places you visit when he is not with you.
- Well just questions: “where was you”, “what did you do”, “why is it so late”, etc. This is where jealousy comes into play. It doesn’t matter what the excuse is, the main thing is how you do it and in what tone. IN in this case, verbally attacking a man will only worsen the situation. Therefore, it is necessary to control yourself.
- a very difficult option is send a friend so that he gets to know you and agrees to meet or call you.
How a man tests a woman's feelings
Unconscious male tests of female feelings- this is when your behavior subsequently forms in his head an image of how you treat him, respect him, etc. Thus, after the event happened (with you or with you), certain concepts arise in the man’s head. It's somehow difficult.
Therefore, below are indicated simple examples unconscious male tests of women for feelings for them:
- When you often talk on the phone, it’s not clear with whom (and if you’re also on a date): with a friend or a guy (man) you know. If you are talking to a friend, then everything is fine. But if with a man you know, a guy, a work colleague, a childhood friend, in general, with any male individual who is not your relative, then this is bad. No normal man will tolerate rivals in your environment, even unlikely ones. This check should give him the understanding that he is the only one for you.
- When he asks you about guys that you had before him and why did you break up . Why does he need this? Just find out what he will have to do with you in the future and how to behave so that this does not happen to him. Among other things, from your answer to these questions, he needs to make sure that he is the best for you and that you value him and your relationship.
- When you defend his point of view in a dispute, even if he is wrong. In this case, he is convinced of your devotion.
- When you scold him for bad habits , then he develops an understanding of your concern for his health.
- When you scold him for spending money on all sorts of nonsense. (some men are like children - they can carry all sorts of “crap” home, even if they don’t use it). Here he develops the understanding that you want to have a very long and permanent relationship with him (in general, this question is philosophical, since in this case there is a lot to think about).
What to do if a man checks out a woman?
If you understand that a man is testing you, then the most important thing is not to tell him about it. And if he does this all the time, then you need to understand why he does this and what were the prerequisites for his testing your feelings.
Understand this. All your suspicions about a man (whether he is checking you or not) will look to him like a red rag to a bull. So act like you don't know or notice anything. Even if the verification is explicit. In this case, turn everything into a joke and look him in the face with honest eyes.
As I wrote above, this is your personal relationship. Therefore, just take all these points into account when communicating with a man. And most importantly, be natural and unique and everything will be fine.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the topic “How a man tests a woman’s feelings for him” has been covered, but not in full. Please add your comments to the article. I think those who are interested in this issue will find it interesting to read them.
You can find out more about (the girls) by clicking on the link.
Thank you all for your attention! Love, respect each other and everything will be great!
Continuing the topic, I would like to offer a video about how men evaluate women.
Good afternoon, dear readers! Do you trust your partner? Are you sure of his feelings? I often hear complaints from clients about their partner’s insensitivity. And men are increasingly asking the question - how to test a girl for love? Today I will tell you what such checks can lead to, how you can make sure of your young lady’s feelings and how to understand what she loves.
Warning
I’ll start right away with the dangers of such tests of feelings. Especially those that are carried out just like that, for the sake of the test itself.
There are men who want to keep everything under their control, know about every step of their lady, do not tolerate competition and sometimes put girls in golden cages.
A large number of methods are described in the article “”. There you can find not only about feelings, but also commercialism, selfishness, thriftiness, and so on.
Remember that the girl may find out about the test. This may tell her that you don't trust her and she will leave you. In such a situation it will be very problematic.
Think carefully about whether your idea is worth this relationship. And ask yourself the question - how will I behave if I find out that my passion is testing me. Put yourself in the shoes of the person being tested. Do you like it? Are you experiencing pleasant emotions? I think no.
Don't do anything rash. In love, of course, as in war, all means are fair. But you shouldn’t go too far. Let's think together about how you can understand the feelings of your chosen one without testing.
Excellent replacement for checking
Now I will tell you a great secret - instead of checking, you can learn about the feelings of another person by becoming more attentive to him. Very simple and banal. But it works one hundred percent every time. You just have to take a closer look at the young lady’s behavior, hear what she says, notice details and little things, and you can easily put two and two together.
You can find out what a young lady is experiencing by her behavior. Take a closer look at how she dresses for meetings with you, puts on makeup, and combs her hair. If a lady spends a lot of time on her appearance, then this suggests that she wants to be attractive to you.
There are some signs of behavior that indicate the young lady's sympathy for you. She listens to you carefully, is sincerely interested in your life, and tries to get to know you as best as possible.
If it is still difficult for you to recognize such signals, then the article “” will come to help you. In it I describe everything in detail feminine tricks, which we resort to to show sympathy to a man.
Learn to recognize such things and you will never doubt the sincerity of your lady. Be careful, notice even the smallest actions. More often than not, it's the small details that matter the most.
Moments that will help you be 100% sure of love
Let's talk about more serious things that will really tell you what's next to you loving woman.
Sincere feelings are manifested in the attention and care on the part of the young lady. She can set a table out of nothing, just like grandma made a bun. I scratched the bottom of the barrel - dinner is ready. She will keep an eye on your things so that everything is in order, there are no holes in your socks and so on.
In addition, difficult times and difficult situations help identify feelings.
When there are problems at work, with friends, with relatives. loving person will be there, will support, help, calm. He will not abandon you at the first minor failure. He will overcome obstacles with you and move forward.
Just don’t create these obstacles deliberately in order to test a person. I have already said what such checks can lead to.
A girl who loves a man will want to change for his sake. She won’t have to be forced, change or break her character. She will slowly do it herself, of her own free will.
In addition, a faithful and loving woman supports her husband in difficult endeavors while he gets used to life. new job or starting his own business.
If you feel that your relationship is fading, but cannot come to a final conclusion, I advise you to read the article “”.
Remember that a woman’s love is a mirror that reflects your feelings for her. Love a woman and she will give you the best that she has.
Have you ever checked your women? What did they lead to? Did you get the answer to the question that was bothering you? Have you ever been the victim of a woman's check?
Trust your lover and love her as much as possible!
