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Architect of dreams Eteri Chalandzia
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Adultery Natalya Ivanova
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A couple of months ago, I decided to stop being in contact. To be more efficient, I stopped going there altogether. This surprised some of my friends.
The final reason why I decided to do this was because I felt like VK was turning me into a depressed robot.
Why a robot? Because I'm caught in an endless loop. I was annoyed that I constantly went there to read “a little” news, but it all ended with a lot of time being wasted and the longer I sat there, the weaker my connection with reality became, I could not stop wasting my time.
One of the best solutions
Since I left VK, I have never returned there. You will probably be surprised at how much you can change your life if you stop using VKontakte and other social networks.
No, this is not just about increasing free time and increasing productivity.
7 changes in my life after quitting social media
1) You will become more aware
Usually, I think for a long time about whether I should share a new post from my blog on a social network or not. I was afraid that people would laugh and criticize me. That's why I always hesitated.
Maybe it's just me. But I believe that removing your photo and hints of your personality and separating the virtual world from the real one can help you find freedom and focus on anything in your life. This freedom allows you to focus on any area of activity in your life.
2) There will be no need to check yourself on the site
Sometimes this behavior is not even consciously realized and acts as social currency. Let's face it, there's some truth to this, right?
When you leave social networks, you can change, stop looking for approval from your followers and online friends. Instead you will return to real world and begin to value yourself according to real things like passion, health, fitness and even money.
And we both know that focusing on real things brings real benefits.
3) Your mood will improve
No matter how many friends you have online, there will always be something that will ruin your mood.
Typically, it could be bad news or a stupid, violent video.
One click on them and you will be absorbed in it and your emotions for a while.
Not to mention that most of what you see may not actually exist. Why let negativity consume your mind? There are already enough shortcomings in the world. You don't need to invent more.
4) See your friends in a new light
I once shared a photo of a friend of mine with the comment: “This guy looks retarded, he probably has Down syndrome.”
I was a little disappointed in my friend. In life he is a good and decent person.
As I said before, most people are looking to establish themselves online. I think that for the most part, people today base their friendships and communication on the Internet. We judge people based on what they share with us, their likes, and other online activity.
5) You will be more aware of your surroundings
After all, when you're not on social networks, you don't need to constantly check your phone, expecting to see new notifications. You will be more present in the world around you and enjoy your surroundings. When was the last time you did this?
As you become more aware of your surroundings, you may notice many surprising things. For example, what beautiful house built by your neighbors or watch a mother interact with her baby on the train and perhaps allow warmth to penetrate your heart.
These are the things that create life. The network can't give you that.
6) Life literally becomes more real and you stop doubting yourself
I don't care what you think about the Internet, but here's the honest truth: You can't believe everything you read and see on a website.
Even a “trustworthy source” may in fact be unreliable. These words can be used by anyone.
It always amuses me to hear how amazed friends are when they read new conspiracy theories and begin to think that they have acquired a piece of amazing knowledge.
Learning is good, but accepting everything, can you accept everything you see on social media as truth? No, you probably shouldn't do this. You should not base your life on what others think or say.
Those who decide to give up social media regain their freedom and begin to focus on their lives. You know that all this is real and you no longer rack your brains over riddles. You create new experiences that you can store in your memory and share with others.
7) You will be deeply grateful for everything you use.
Tell me. When was the last time you watched an entire movie or TV series without being distracted by checking your phone?
When was the last time you surfed the Internet without being distracted by opening a tab on social networks?
It's not that you're distracted. The point is that you don't value what you do.
All these benefits can be obtained by giving up social networks. For those who doubt the veracity of what is written, here is proof for you - try giving up the social network for a few days and mobile applications and see what comes of it. If you're not ready to quit yet social networks, you can start with small steps, for example, deleting the mobile application.
You will definitely see significant results.
If every single man begins to analyze his thoughts about his personal life, then, most likely, sooner or later he will catch himself in a peculiar way of self-flagellation. Hidden in a very simple-looking thought: “I can’t find a girl because...”, and then, after this “because” everyone finds a million reasons that, in theory, should justify his loneliness.
And it’s difficult for people to admit to themselves that the basis for all these reasons, as a rule, lies in their lack of confidence in their abilities, their inability to communicate with women, and sometimes even their reluctance to learn this.
Making excuses to yourself, of course, is easier than taking responsibility for your lack of ownership and starting to do something to change the current situation. As life shows, however, it is to those who, after all, casting aside doubts, begin to work with their own character, study female psychology and try to apply the acquired knowledge in practice, success comes. Such men very quickly notice that, in general, they could not find a girl earlier only because they were afraid... of their own far-fetched fears.
Getting rid of which, however, is just the first step towards a full-fledged personal life with many (yes, yes, of course, because the world cannot always revolve around the same young lady) beautiful girls in all respects. The second step, and it is also the main one, is to comprehend not only the depths female psychology, but also in honing the ability to manipulate them with the help of your knowledge.
What could such manipulation consist of? Absolute control over the actions of representatives of the fair sex is, of course, impossible to achieve - there are always objective factors that prevent this. Learn the basic rules proper dating Any guy who really wants it can learn how to organize dates and beautiful seduction.
The reasons for difficulties in communicating with girls can be divided into 2 categories:
- appearance problems;
- problems understanding how to meet people and build relationships.
Let's look at each of them in more detail. 
Solving appearance problems
The role of appearance in communicating with the opposite sex should not be underestimated. Not everyone is lucky enough to be born with the face and body of Brad Pitt, but each of us can dress well, take care of our figure and take care of ourselves. You shouldn’t rush to extremes and believe that girls are only attracted to handsome men - a man who has a 10/10 appearance and does not know how to build relationships will be much less successful than a guy who is ordinary in appearance, but at the same time experienced and confident.
Let's look at the main problems appearance, which you need to work on first:
- Acne. The presence of acne not only has a critical effect on your appearance, but also greatly affects your self-esteem. This is extremely complex topic, and the advice to pay more attention to hygiene is of little use here - anyone who has had acne knows how difficult it is to get rid of them. Find out the reason first acne– these could be hormonal problems, poor diet, or excessive oily skin, requiring special care. Invest in going to a cosmetologist - if the specialist is smart, he will tell you what and how to do. The combined use of Zinerit + Baziron and regular intake of vitamin A tablets helps many people get rid of even severe stages of acne.
- Cloth. No girl will accept a poorly dressed guy who neglects his wardrobe. There is no need to use the services of stylists or spend money on inexpensive designer items; you can get by with simple, but neat and tasteful clothes. Get a standard wardrobe set - jeans that fit your figure, good shoes, several plain shirts, a leather jacket. For the first time this will be more than enough. Choose items strictly in size so that they fit well on your figure, wear only clean clothes and always iron them before going out. Also consider the appropriateness of a particular style in the place you plan to visit.
- Hairstyle. Don’t even think about walking around with untrimmed, greasy hair - wash your hair regularly and go to to a good hairdresser who will make you suitable haircut. The right hairstyle can make even an ugly face more attractive.
- General grooming. It's funny, but such a little thing as uncut nails or bad breath on the first date will make any girl give up on you. It is extremely important to take care of yourself - take regular showers, use perfume or eau de toilette, do not neglect brushing your teeth, watch your posture, fight dandruff, if any.
Many guys who can’t find a girl attribute the problem to their own figure, but this is far from the primary factor. You should be concerned if there is excess weight, which, with appropriate effort, can be eliminated in a few months in the gym. Big muscles are only valuable a small amount girls, so you shouldn’t make them an end in itself, it’s enough to just have a slim and toned body.
Male beauty is an extremely subjective concept. Ask 5 girls how they see their standard guy, and in each case the answer will be different. Remember, no one will demand that you look like a model from the cover of a men's magazine, the main thing is to correct the main flaws in order to look NORMAL and well-groomed.
The importance of social status
The girls' reaction to you will largely be determined by your social status. And now we are not talking about your financial condition or having an important position in the bank, but about how your environment perceives you. An indicative situation is when one guy’s joke makes all the girls in the company laugh until they cry, and another guy responds to similar humor with “What are you, a clown?”
The reason for this is precisely social status– girls are drawn to those who are respected among their friends and seem to them to be an interesting person. It doesn’t matter how you earned this position - you can stand out for your intelligence, athletic achievements, unusual hobby, or ability to perform magic tricks.
The main thing is not to be a typical representative of the gray masses - stop wasting all your time on the Internet and wasting your days, choose an area of your own interests and develop yourself, trying to become the best in it. And in the future, girls themselves will express a desire to meet you. 
Learning to interact with girls
But even handsome and somewhat successful guys wondering “why I can’t find a girl” are not that uncommon. An example is an athlete who spent his entire youth training and did not gain experience in relationships with girls in his youth, who simply does not know what and how to do.
Typical mistakes that prevent you from finding a girl are:
- Fear of meeting the girl you like. Not a single girl who is approached by a nice guy, giving her a compliment and inviting her to meet her, will ever disgrace him or do anything negative. The worst thing you can count on is a banal refusal if the girl has a boyfriend or she simply doesn’t like you. And even in this case, you will get the experience of dating and will become less worried in the future. If this doesn’t convince you, try to find a girl on VKontakte, chat with her online for a few days and invite her on a date - communicating live with a person whose interests you more or less know is much easier.
- Uncertain behavior. Girls love confident guys who take relationships into their own hands and constantly take the initiative rather than waiting for them to make the first move. Don’t be shy about your desires, don’t be afraid to lead her, making fun of her and knocking down the arrogance of a seemingly unapproachable lady. Arrogant guys are much more likely to be liked by girls than those who praise them to the skies and act from a position of helpfulness. Forget about the generally accepted rule that you need to woo a girl - if you are an interesting enough person, then she herself will be interested in you and try to earn your favor.
- Obsession with a girl. If, after meeting a girl and going on a couple of dates, she begins to ignore her, it means she has lost interest in you. This can happen either because of your lack of self-confidence (what girl would date a guy who is afraid to kiss her on the third date, when experienced guys will put her to bed on the second), or because of excessive importunity. Constant calls, SMS, gifts and signs of attention - all this indicates that the guy puts the girl above himself. Girls quickly reject such individuals, since any of them wants to see next to them self-sufficient man, not a guy with the behavior of a helpful puppy. Therefore, in relationships with the opposite sex, you need to show adequate selfishness, be guided your own desires, interests, and not be afraid to realize them.
Many guys have no problems finding girls, but do not understand how ordinary communication can be translated into something more. In order not to remain at the level of friends, from the very beginning of dating it is necessary to demonstrate that you are interested in her as a partner for a relationship.
This is done using kinesthetics, in simple terms - touch. A guy who expects only friendship is limited to communication alone, while a man who sees a woman as a sexual object is not afraid to close the distance with her. You need to start everything with banal, socially acceptable touches - touch her elbow and take her to the right table in a cafe, when crossing the road, take her hand, touch her shoulder to point to something.
In the process of communication, the intensity of such touches must be increased, up to mutual squeezing that leads you to bed. The pace of kinesthetics depends on many factors - how interested she is in you, what place you are in (obviously, kinesthetics in a cafe and a nightclub will be completely different), whether the girl is sober. The main thing is to do everything in accordance with the moment, so as not to scare the girl off with inappropriate behavior.
Motivation for self-development
Most inexperienced guys can be baffled by such recommendations, they say: “I’m afraid to look girls in the eyes and constantly look away when making eye contact, what kind of arrogant and self-confident behavior are we talking about?” Indeed, if you suddenly begin to behave like a dominant, without being one, at the first check the girl will dump you, since most of them are excellent at determining the real personality of a man.
It is worth understanding that the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex is a common skill that can be acquired as a result of constant practice. When someone wants to learn to stand up for themselves, they go to boxing and after just a year or two of training they can beat up any bully. In seduction, things are similar - set a goal and start regularly communicating with girls, asking them out on dates and going through all stages of a relationship - from dating to bed.
Yes, you will receive rejections and fail, but learning from your mistakes is what ultimately leads to success. Use the knowledge gained from this article in practice, and soon the question “why can’t I find a girl” will remain a thing of the past.
About hopeless situations and complexes
Many guys, aware of their own failures in relationships with the opposite sex, do not even try to change anything. They have no desire or motivation to leave their comfort zone because they believe that they will not be able to cope with their problems.
In fact, only people with cancer have unsolvable problems, and then anything can happen. The reason for your difficulties in 99% are complexes and negative beliefs that simply prevent you from reacting adequately to things.
Let's look at the typical “unsolvable problems” of guys who don’t have girlfriends:
- Girls don't look at me because vertically challenged . First of all, there is no need to go and meet the women's team of the local basketball team; you are surrounded by a huge number of beautiful petite girls. Secondly, remember Al Pacino, Tom Cruise or Daniel Radcliffe, really? short stature(all of them are under 170 cm) prevented them from becoming world-famous actors? Height is absolutely not important, especially charisma.
- U I don't have a girlfriend because I live with my parents. Living together with parents after 20 years is not good for any guy, as it suppresses the sense of independence and independence. Don’t think that there is no way out - rent an apartment, if you don’t have enough money, rent a house together with friends. This is the first thing a mother’s son who wants to become a man needs to do.
- I'm 20 and a virgin, I have no chance of finding a girl. You will really be a laggard if you do not have the experience of relationships with the opposite sex, which you had to get in high school, where young people usually date, have sex, swear, and everything repeats itself in a circle. However, if you get down to business thoroughly, you can not only catch up, but also surpass ordinary guys. Work on your appearance, learn pickup theory and practice, and soon your personality will change. The main thing is to start, and at first you can be content with the most simple girls, and if you do everything right, gradually the level of women will rise.
The list of such problems can be continued for a long time, but any of them can be solved. In this article, we described in detail what to do if there is no girlfriend. Read it and forget, start working on yourself or go to
Ladies and gentlemen unanimously recognize convenience as the main advantage of the Internet; the vast expanses of accessible information are also unanimously placed in second place. But everyone uses these benefits in their own way.
Who sits at the computer longer?
HE: Men love to sit in front of a large monitor so they can read the news without haste and comfortably or look for an answer to a question of interest. They spend about 42% of online time on a desktop. The share of smartphones accounts for a little more - 44% - only because during the day it is not always possible to access the desired page from a work computer or it is simply not at hand.
SHE: Women are much less likely to use computers and laptops (35%) and most of the time they chat in instant messengers or check updates in social networking applications from smartphones.
Who is more likely to be on social networks?
HE: Gentlemen more often use them for work purposes, although they are not too ahead of businesswomen in this (27% versus 22%). But 14% of gentlemen (versus 7% of girls) guessed to use Facebook for romantic dating.
SHE: We are primarily interested in Facebook for the opportunity to stay in touch with loved ones - 65% of women go to social networks precisely for this. This is probably why women’s accounts are 8% ahead of men’s in the number of friends and one and a half times ahead in the frequency of updates in the feed. Almost a third of us learn world news from social networks, without bothering to go to thematic sites.
Who spends more time on the Internet?
HE: Guys spend an average of 19 hours a week on the Internet (that is, almost a third more than young ladies). Most of the time is spent on typical male interests like sports reports and online poker, but here’s a sharp turn: the guys spend 26 minutes of their leisure time studying news from the lives of stars. (Watching porn only takes 10 minutes more!) At the same time, they are not shy in their expressions: they boldly troll in the comments both the heroes of the notes and those who come to hand. Not like us cultured ladies.
SHE: Women are more willing to part with the Internet at the end of the day (although, perhaps, they are simply distracted by family matters) and, in general, spend no more than 14 hours a week on it. In addition to social networks, girls are interested in articles from useful tips, which can be independently applied in practice. But women spend only 1 minute more on secular news than men. By the way, we don’t forget about porn either, although a modest 11 minutes a week are spent on this matter.
- 25% of men watch YouTube videos daily (and 17% of girls).
Mistake 1: Being too “nice guy.”
Have you ever noticed that really attractive women are not attracted to “cute” guys? Of course, I noticed. I'm sure you have charming friends who date "scumbags"... but, for some unknown reason, these girls were never interested in YOU. Why is this happening? It's actually simple...
When choosing a partner, girls are not guided by how “nice” a man is. Attraction to masculine guys arises on an instinctive level. Even if you are a hundred times nicer than your opponent, a woman simply WILL NOT FEEL ATTRACTED to you and, accordingly, will not choose you. I admit, this may sound pointless, but you just have to believe and accept my words... Unless you are ready to give up success forever with desirable girls.
Mistake 2: Don't try to make her like you.
What do guys usually do when they meet the girl of their dreams... and she doesn't even look at them? Right! They try to “convince” the girl to feel differently. Try to remember... YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A GIRL'S FEELINGS IF IT'S ABOUT SYMPATHY! Understand, NEVER. It is impossible to make a girl feel - neither by logic nor by reasonable reasoning. Think about it.
If she simply doesn't feel anything for you, how are you going to convince her to think logically? However, everyone is trying to do this. We beg, we chase, we try to influence girls' minds... It never works.
Mistake 3. Don't expect approval from a girl every time.
In their desire to please a girl (thinking that she will like us this way), men very often make this mistake. Women don't like guys who suck up to you all the time! However, don't get me wrong. You can't treat girls BADLY. You just need to understand that constantly waiting for permission to act does not help good mood of the fair sex. On the contrary, women are often irritated by such behavior. Do you doubt it? So ask any attractive girl about it.
Mistake 4: Don't try to “buy” her location.
Remember how many times you received a refusal, despite a candlelit dinner, expensive gifts and flowers? I dare say more than once. You know, this is completely NATURAL. That's right, you heard right. It’s as if you’re letting the girl know: “I don’t think you like me for who I am, so I’ll try to buy your attention and sympathy.” Even your good intentions can turn against you - a woman will think that you are trying to MANIPULATE her.
Mistake 5: Don't share your feelings with her ahead of time.
Unfortunately, this mistake is made by b O most of the stronger sex. Remember, truly attractive women are rare. And each of them gets a HUGE amount of male attention. Often guys don’t understand this, but they try to meet such girls all the time - several times a day turns into dozens a week and (oh, horror) HUNDREDS a month.
Do you know what? Girls go on dates with many suffering people. They already have EXPERIENCE. They know exactly what to expect. And some things make these poor little ones run away from a guy in fear - for example, the phrase “See, I really, REALLY like you!” She understands one thing - that you are one of many, just like the rest. Don't repeat other people's mistakes. Behave in a relaxed, dignified manner.
Mistake 6: Not understanding what attracts women.
In some ways, women are very different from us men. You should just accept this fact.
What happens when a guy sees a young, beautiful, sexy girl? That's right, he's attracted to her. Is a similar condition fair for the fair sex? Does a man’s appearance have the same power over a woman’s consciousness? Or is there another factor?
Having devoted almost five years to studying this topic, I can say with confidence that usually a woman reacts to criteria not related to appearance. I am sure that you have paid attention to seemingly unremarkable, even unattractive men with charming companions. Think about it.
Women are attracted to certain qualities in a partner... they care about how they FEEL when they are around that person. With masterful use of body language and proper communication skills, you can make a woman feel sexual desire, similar to the one you experience when you see a hot young beauty. But it is impossible to master this art spontaneously. It takes a long time to STUDY. And ANY guy can learn...
Mistake 7: It's not all about money and looks.
One of the most common mistakes... Guys assume that women are only interested in the size of their wallet and stunning looks... maybe even a certain age or height. I am absolutely sure that there are girls in the world with such criteria. However, the reasonable majority cares, first of all, not about the wallet and appearance, but about the personality of the partner. This is what attracts them like a magnet.
Learn to identify personality traits that are valuable to a particular girl, and YOU will become their ideal. DON'T GIVE UP if you are not an oligarch or short in stature. Let me repeat my earlier point: with masterful use of body language and proper communication skills, you can make a woman feel the same sexual desire that you feel when seeing a hot young beauty.
Mistake 8. Don’t put all power in the hands of a woman.
I already mentioned earlier that you should not expect permission from a girl for this or that action. In the same way, you cannot indulge them in all their desires. The guy constantly does what the girl wants - this is a mistake. She will step over you and go on to new adventures. Remember, girls don't like weaklings.
Mistake 9: Ignorance of your behavior options when communicating with a girl.
Do you want me to surprise you? A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. The fair sex has about TEN TIMES better understanding of body language. I know this is hard to believe.
Well, for example, if on a date you want to kiss a girl, she already knows about it. And if you have no idea HOW EXACTLY to do this, you sit next to her and are nervous, she won’t help you!
This idea is true for all aspects of relationships with women. Getting to know her, getting a phone number, asking her out on a date, physical contact... Everything!
Everything will be ruined, everything will be LOST, if in each specific situation you do not have a clear plan of action. And you yourself KNOW this. It is vitally important to be aware of every step you take in establishing and developing relationships - from dating to the bedroom.
Mistake 10: Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Perhaps the biggest mistake. It often prevents guys from achieving success with the girls they want. I know, I know, we don't like to look weak and helpless. We hate asking anyone for help.
I want to tell you a little about myself and how I became successful with women... About five years ago, I was already fed up with the fact that I couldn’t meet girls properly, let alone ask them out on a date. I can honestly say that this depressed me terribly.
One evening, my friend and I went out to the club, and there I saw HER... But I was so nervous that I simply could not approach. I still remember that evening... It was then that I decided that I would apply ALL my abilities, I would try everything, but I would achieve results.
After a lot of effort and hard work, I finally did it. Now I don’t experience any problems - for example, I receive my phone almost immediately after approaching. I had dates with models, and actresses, and simple cute girls.
Never again have I experienced that feeling of insecurity and uncertainty. At any given time I can meet a great girl.
