How to increase a woman’s self-esteem: advice from a psychologist. How to raise a girl's self-esteem

Women with low self-esteem suffer from insecurity, are afraid of criticism and do not know how to accept compliments. The habitual role of the victim does not allow us to perceive life in all its colors and boldly look into the future. We learn not to give in to manipulation.

As you know, self-esteem is how a person evaluates himself, his personal qualities and capabilities in comparison with other people, what place he assigns to himself in society. Self-esteem is not inherited - it is formed in preschool age under the influence of the people closest to the child - the parents. It primarily depends on them whether the baby will have adequate self-esteem, high or low. And how his future life will turn out, how successful it will be, whether he will be able to set goals and achieve them or whether he will constantly doubt his abilities and come to terms with the stigma of a loser - all this depends on the level of his self-esteem.

It is not easy to live next to people who have high self-esteem, because they are convinced that they are always right, do not see their own shortcomings and do not admit their mistakes. They believe that they have the right to control others, strive to be the center of attention and show aggression if someone disagrees with them. “You are the best,” they were told in childhood. “You are a queen!” Dad repeated to a girl he knew. He believed that by feeling like a queen, she would make everyone around her believe it. But for some reason those around her did not want to play the role of her subjects, and there were fewer and fewer people who wanted to be friends with her.

Life is not easy for those whose... For some reason that is understandable to them, parents humiliate the child, showing their power over him, break him, making him obedient, and ultimately turn him into an infantile, weak-willed creature on which everyone wipes their feet.

“It’s terrible what you’ve done, you can’t be entrusted with anything!”, “You’re just ruining everything - better leave”, “Look at Anya, she’s a girl like a girl, and you’re disheveled and a slob”, “Now you’ll get it from me, it’s such an infection ! - criticism, threats, comparison with other children, unwillingness to take into account the child’s opinion and see him as an individual, talking to him in an orderly tone reduces his self-respect and self-esteem. His own life attitudes have not yet been formed, and he considers his parents’ beliefs to be an immutable truth. Psychologists call this direct suggestion, and children in early age very suggestible.

If mom and dad call a child a fool and a nonentity, then that is exactly how he will perceive himself. As the proverb says: “Tell a man a hundred times that he is a pig, and on the hundred and first he will grunt.” Others will perceive him the same way.

Another test for a child's self-esteem - adolescence. At this time, he is very vulnerable and takes criticism painfully. If you repeat to him that nothing good will come of him and that his only choice is to go to prison or to jail, then you shouldn’t be surprised that this will happen.

Ultimately, people with low self-esteem justify all the nicknames and epithets that were awarded to them in childhood. They really become losers, losers, outsiders. They lose, sometimes without even entering the game, because they are indecisive and do not believe in themselves. “I’m not worthy,” they explain their loss.

Women with low self-esteem - which men choose them?

Women with low self-esteem, just like men with the same character, do not achieve significant success in life because they “know their place.” However, psychologists have noticed that they, in addition, attract men of a certain type - domineering, authoritarian and selfish. It is beneficial for them to have such a woman at their side, because she is not demanding and is easy to manage. It is easy to convince her that her main task is to create comfortable conditions husband, to raise children, and she has no right to demand more than he can give her.

A woman with low self-esteem is also convenient because she does not need to be jealous - she is grateful to her husband for marrying her and does not look at anyone else. And even if she does look, she believes that she herself does not deserve the attention of men. The husband can relax, because if he were married to a woman with adequate or high self-esteem, he would have to strain to measure up. And so he is forgiven a lot - pettiness, rudeness, and sloppiness, because a woman believes that she does not deserve better.

A woman with low self-esteem is treated negatively not only by her husband, but also by those around her. Knowing that she cannot refuse, they sometimes sit on her head, hanging their problems on her and shifting their responsibilities onto her. Moreover, women with low self-esteem are often perfectionists who strive to do everything in the best possible way. in the best possible way.

It is especially easy for them to instill in them a feeling of guilt. In an effort to make amends for this really non-existent guilt, they try even harder to please in order to earn praise.

What are they like - women with low self-esteem?

Many women have no idea that all their depression and failures are associated with low self-esteem. They think: this is how life turned out, the unfavorable circumstances are to blame for what prevented them from becoming happy, successful and loved. “You can’t escape fate!” they resign themselves, instead of working on personal attitudes with the help of which they can change their attitude towards themselves - to love themselves. Are we not worthy of this love? “I’m alone at home,” says psychologist Ekaterina Mikhailova, who wrote a book with the same title. If we want to be understood, valued and loved by others, we must learn to understand, value and love ourselves.

Do these women remind us of anyone? They:

1. Trouble-free

But not because they are compassionate and feel satisfaction from fulfilling other people’s requests. On the contrary, they scold themselves for not being able to refuse, they get angry and irritated. But they are unable to say “no”: suddenly the person asking will be offended or think badly of them, but someone else’s opinion is very important to them, and it must certainly be positive;

2. They take criticism painfully.

Women with adequate self-esteem also adequately perceive criticism: they accept it or not, without falling into hysterics. If you tell a woman with low self-esteem that she is wrong, it will almost become a tragedy for her. Resentment, tears and indignation will follow, because she perceives criticism as an insult and humiliation, hints at her inferiority. After all, as you know, people with low self-esteem want to please everyone and be good to everyone;

3. Overly critical of your appearance

They do not tolerate criticism from others, but they themselves are never satisfied with themselves and their appearance, therefore they strive not to stand out, to be in the shadows. They don't like their figure, their face, their body, their hair - nothing. At the same time, they often engage in public self-criticism, obviously subconsciously expecting that those around them will begin to dissuade them, assure them otherwise and give compliments;

4. They don’t know how to accept compliments.

They love them, but they don’t know how to accept them. It is possible that in response to praise that she looks great today, a woman with low self-esteem will fuss and say something like: “Yes, I washed my hair today” or “Oh, this is an old dress, so it doesn’t show who I am.” became a cow";

5. Feel like a victim

Their vulnerable psyche reacts painfully to every sidelong glance and crooked word. They exaggerate their importance in the lives of other people; it seems to them that others are only thinking about how to offend them. They often feel sorry for themselves, repeating when they fail: “Well, not with my happiness”;

6. Giving up their own desires

They have their own dreams and desires, but they are driven somewhere so deep that they no longer remind of themselves. And all because women with low self-esteem live by other people's desires. Have you been waiting for the day off to take a walk in the park with your husband? But he said: “We’re going to the dacha to clean the garden, weed the vegetable garden.” Tired and want to take a break? “What a vacation! Look, my old mother is working, and you’re lying down?!” “Tomorrow my friends will come to visit. Do not want? Can't be. Let’s run to the kitchen, to the stove!”

They do not know how to refuse, because this means disappointing others, not meeting their hopes, which women with low self-esteem cannot allow;

7. Inability to make choices and take responsibility

They too often utter the words: “I can’t,” “I won’t succeed,” “I don’t have the right to decide this.” It is not surprising that making a decision is incredibly difficult for them, because you can make a mistake and earn disapproval and receive a negative assessment. Therefore, they hesitate for a long time and, if possible, shift this task to others: “What do you recommend? I will do as you say";

8. Unsatisfied with your surroundings

They often complain to colleagues and friends that their husband suppresses them, their mother-in-law finds fault with them, and their relatives do not appreciate them. At home they cry that the boss does not take their point of view into account, and that the employees offend them. Psychologists say that subconsciously women with low self-esteem themselves attract people who do not value them, and thus further strengthen the opinion that they are worthless losers.

We increase our self-esteem

Women who are tired of being a puppet and an object of manipulation, who want to live their own lives and not depend on other people's opinions, can correct their character. It's not difficult - you just need to want to change.

1. Minimize or stop communicating with people around whom self-esteem decreases

We doubt, constantly seek advice, show uncertainty, show how someone's remark hurts us, constantly make excuses and easily take the blame upon ourselves - and in the end we become such a whipping boy, an eternal scapegoat that no one takes seriously. and which is not usually taken into account. People easily figure out someone they can treat condescendingly, condescendingly, and begin to manipulate him.

To a large extent, we are to blame for the current situation: they say that we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

But if we are no longer satisfied with this state of affairs, we must “show our teeth” - of course, not with the help of hysterics. We control our reactions, not giving any reason to consider us a spineless mumble.

Changing the attitude of those who are already accustomed to our “toothlessness” towards ourselves is more difficult than starting to build relationships from scratch, but it is possible. However, if those around us stubbornly continue to assert themselves at our expense, then we have no need for such communication. We will spend time with those with whom we become better and gain confidence in our abilities.

2. Love yourself

Nowadays a lot is said and written about the need to love yourself. Loving yourself does not mean not giving a damn about others and carrying yourself, your beloved, like a sack. This means understanding yourself, learning to live in harmony with yourself and the world, respecting yourself and not engaging in self-flagellation and self-criticism.

Louise Hay, a famous American psychologist and author of several books on psychological self-help, suggests going to the mirror in the morning and looking at your reflection and saying: “I love you. What can I do for you today to make you joyful and happy?” At first, this phrase will be hindered by some internal protest, but soon it will sound natural and free.

As Louise Hay writes, “I’m not trying to fix the problem. I am correcting my thoughts. And then the problem corrects itself.”

3. Set ourselves positive attitudes

We do this with the help of visualizations. The above phrase by Louise Hay about self-love is one of the possible affirmations. Some people complain that affirmations don't work for them. “I repeat the same thing ten times a day, but nothing changes,” they say.

Louise Hay compares affirmations to a grain or seed - it is not enough to plant it, it needs to be watered, it needs to be looked after. Having planted, for example, a tomato, we don’t expect to get fruit tomorrow, do we? The same can be said about affirmations and visualizations - they stimulate us and keep us focused on the goal, but for them to work, we must take real steps.

4. Meditate

For example: we relax, close our eyes and mentally transport ourselves to some wonderful place where we once were and where we felt good. We will feel it very clearly - sounds, smells. Then let’s imagine a wandering wizard who tells us: “My dear, you are beautiful and unique. You have the right to your opinion, you may not know something or be wrong. You can judge for yourself what is good and what is bad, and take responsibility whenever you wish. You have the right to decide for yourself what and when to do. You have the right to be who you are! You came into this world, on this planet for your own sake!”

The wizard smiles at us and says goodbye to us, and we take a breath, open our eyes and return to reality.

5. We don’t save on ourselves

Remarque wrote that “A woman who saves on herself evokes in a man the only desire - to save on her.”

Nothing raises a woman's self-esteem more than the confidence that she is good and desirable. (Obviously, this is why some men are satisfied with an unpretentious and undemanding wife, around whom they can relax without fear that she will leave or be taken away.)

A gym, swimming pool, beauty salon, SPA salon, etc. are not only about external beauty, but also about health, and above all mental health.

How to increase your self-esteem: 17 ways to do it yourself + 5 tips for guys who want to increase their girlfriend’s self-esteem.

Self-esteem is a very difficult thing.

If it is too high, this is not very good; if it is too low, it is even worse. So how to achieve harmony? How to evaluate yourself correctly?

Psychologists say that it is better to have a higher opinion of yourself than you actually have, than to consider yourself a complete insignificance and engage in constant self-flagellation. It is especially dangerous for the fair sex to have low self-esteem.

So how can you increase a girl's self-esteem if it is too low? You need to use an integrated approach and carefully work on yourself. Banal auto-training or simply trying to convince yourself won’t help matters.

How to increase a girl’s self-esteem: external and internal changes

Few girls can increase their self-esteem out of the blue. I very much doubt that it could happen that just yesterday you considered yourself a complete nonentity, and today you woke up as a queen.

No amount of auto-training or self-hypnosis will help in this case.

The easiest way is to change for the better.

1) To increase our self-esteem, we change externally.

Go to the mirror and look carefully at yourself.

What exactly do you not like?

No, no, you don’t need to get off with the general phrase: “I’m ugly.” Name what you consider to be shortcomings in your appearance.

For example: excess weight, hair color and haircut that don’t suit me, bad teeth, problem skin, long nose, small eyes.

Now let’s think about how a girl can fix all this in order to increase her self-esteem:

1. Excess weight can be lost if you start eating right and exercising.

   If you're really too lazy to do this, you can at least the right clothes choose to hide figure flaws. Although the first option is still more reliable.

2. Hair color and haircut are generally as easy as shelling pears: we went to to a good hairdresser and he will fix everything.
3. Bad teeth are the job of a dentist. Are you afraid of dentists and have no money?

   Well, then stay with your low self-esteem. If you want to increase it, you will have to do something you don't really like.

4. Skin problems can be solved if you visit a cosmetologist and carefully care for your face at home.
5. Small eyes and a big nose - these “flaws” can be smoothed out with the right makeup.

Make your own list of external shortcomings and write down step by step how everything can be corrected in order to increase your own self-esteem.

2) A girl’s career and self-development as a way to increase her self-esteem.

Very often, girls who were unable to receive a proper education, realize themselves in a profession and become financially independent suffer from low self-esteem.

If the husband earns money in the family, if he holds a leadership position, and you are a saleswoman in a stall without education, then complexes and low self-esteem cannot be avoided.

The same goes for unmarried girls. Are women your age making careers and earning good money? Well, how can this not affect self-esteem?

To increase her self-esteem, a girl needs:

Get a good education.

If you are in school or university, spend more time studying and get good grades. But not only grades are important, but also real knowledge that will be useful to you in the future.

No one is stopping older girls from getting a higher education - it’s never too late to study.

Books give us knowledge. You can find answers to many questions in them. They increase our erudition.

Read not only fiction, but also specialized literature, books on self-development and psychology - they are irreplaceable if you want to understand yourself.

Grow and develop.

This applies to everything: studies (if you are still studying), and your chosen profession (if you have already graduated from yours), and hobbies, and personal growth, and so on.

You can grow and develop both independently (for example, by reading books, watching videos, participating in cultural events) and under the guidance of experienced mentors (regularly attend courses and trainings).

If you become a successful, erudite girl who does what she loves and has no financial problems, then your self-esteem will increase on its own.

3) What other changes does the girl need to increase her self-esteem.

1. Be socially active, have friends, attend interesting events, and not hide at home with the cat.

.
Girls without problems in their personal lives rarely suffer from complexes - it’s normal for them anyway.

2. Stop berating yourself over trifles.
3. Learn to rejoice in your victories and accept defeats with dignity.
4. Communicate more with cheerful optimists and less with whiners and pessimists.
5. Do good deeds and do charity work.
6. Live your life, and not adapt to the opinions of others.
7. Avoid negativity, don’t get hung up on other people’s problems, don’t get into stupid quarrels, don’t waste time on TV that feeds you horror, etc.
8. Do what brings you pleasure and gives you happiness.
9. Eliminate from your life those components that negatively affect your perception of yourself, from some responsibilities to people.

It will not be superfluous for girls who want to increase their self-esteem:

• watch special videos, for example:
• read books on this topic: R. Bach “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”, R. Poletti, B. Dobbs “Self-esteem. The main good”, A. Koryagin and others “Self-esteem and confident behavior”, D. Preston “Increase self-esteem. How?" and others;
• attend trainings and seminars on this issue.

How to increase your girlfriend's self-esteem: 5 options

If you are dating a girl and you are afraid that her self-esteem is too low and could use some improvement, then you are a wonderful young man.

Alas, very often a low self-esteem is precisely the result of a girl’s failures in her personal life and communication with the opposite sex.

You can increase your girlfriend's self-esteem:

Loyalty.

Don't cheat on her with others. Do not admire others in her presence, do not openly devour her with your gaze long legs or the elastic ass of some young nymph.

Respectful attitude.

You cannot humiliate your beloved either by words or actions. You can’t try to hurt her more in quarrels. You cannot mix her with dirt, suggesting that she is an empty place, a complete insignificance.

With compliments.

Say them as much as possible and do it as often as possible. In this case, you definitely won’t spoil the porridge with oil.

Is your girlfriend really not worthy of you helping her? difficult situations to support her when she feels bad, to try to make her life easier? By taking care of your significant other, you can definitely improve her opinion of herself.

Love your girlfriend with all your heart and tell her three more often cherished words: "I love you".

Video about

how to increase your self-esteem and learn to love yourself?

“To increase self-esteem, a girl needs to learn to respect herself”

My regular readers know that I am trained as a psychologist. One of the seminars at the university was devoted to the topic of self-esteem.

My teacher, the most luxurious and smartest woman, said, “I suffered from low self-esteem in my twenties.” It was simply impossible to believe. To our surprised roar, she answered with a smile: “True, true.”

At the age of twenty, I suffered from low self-esteem, considering myself stupid, ugly, unworthy of love, a good job with a high salary. Realizing the danger of such beliefs, I decided to act.

After studying some literature, I found a suitable recipe for myself: learn to respect myself. At the same time, I realized that I needed to respect myself for something.

And so I tried to give myself a realistic assessment:

1. My appearance: overweight, bad hairstyle and inability to dress.
2. My education: I do not have a higher education.
3. My job: not prestigious and poorly paid.
4. My manners: well, they are so-so, even with a knife I have difficulty wielding them.
5. My erudition: very mediocre.
6. My advantages: yes, but there could be more.

I understood that in order to begin to respect myself and increase my self-esteem, I had to correct myself:

• change your hairstyle, lose weight, get a new wardrobe;
• to get higher education;
• after graduating from university, find a job that I liked, was prestigious, and provided an opportunity for increased income and growth;
• improve your manners to look like a lady;
• read more, be interested in art, follow the news to know what is happening in my country and in the world as a whole;
• Find yourself a hobby, learn to cook well, ;
• stop avoiding guys, start going on dates.

The minimum plan was written, and I set about implementing it. You see the result in front of you. I am quite happy with my current life and the way I perceive myself.

If you still don't understand how to increase a girl's self-esteem, then you should not be afraid to seek help from a psychologist. He will tell you which path to take.

Useful article? Don't miss new ones!
Enter your email and receive new articles by email

Low self-esteem is a very serious problem for many girls, because it threatens them not only with disappointments in their personal lives, but also with failures in the professional field. What kind of self-esteem can be considered low and is there a way to increase it?

What is self-esteem

Normal self-esteem

So, if you have adequate self-esteem, then we can say that you are very lucky. For people similar type characterized by a realistic assessment of one's capabilities. Such girls are not afraid to set serious goals for themselves, and have a clear idea of ​​how this goal can be achieved for them. There is also an opinion that only a truly mature person can have normal self-esteem - this is possible both at sixteen and at forty.

A high self-evaluation

Perhaps, people of this type are considered more unpleasant personalities for others than others. It is noteworthy that often they do not even realize that their self-esteem is truly inflated. However, some believe that only such people are capable of achieving great goals - with a certain amount of luck this is true. However, the main problem of arrogant people is that they quickly lose true friendships due to their own reluctance and inability to admit their mistakes. Also, such people greatly overestimate their importance in the world around them - at work, among friends, in the family, and so on. They are rarely able to sincerely apologize, because they are often unaware that they may actually be doing wrong. As a rule, one makes friends and communicates with such people only because of possible benefits or out of hopelessness.

Low or low self-esteem (reasons and symptoms)

Life is hardest for girls who are prone to low self-esteem. Most often the reason lies in improper upbringing from parents or other problems in school years. What is characteristic of a person whose self-esteem is clearly low? As a rule, it is almost immediately apparent that a girl is unsure of herself. Most often, she is uncommunicative and rather reserved - she is very afraid to voice her opinion, even if she is asked about it. In addition, such a girl shows initiative only in the most extreme cases, preferring to act on someone else’s orders. She often thinks that she looks stupid or inappropriate, and if representatives of the opposite sex begin to show interest in her, she immediately begins to look for some kind of interest in her. or a catch. Girls of this type prefer not to attract attention to themselves, and if they have to be in some company, then they will be calmer if they remain practically unnoticed.

Family relationships

Many people know that most complexes follow a person from childhood, and if parents do not notice or even provoke some kind of problem in the child’s self-esteem, then it will probably fully manifest itself in adulthood. If your parents did not give you enough attention and love, but at the same time found the opportunity to criticize and regularly make various demands, then probably now your self-esteem is somewhat low. Also, comparing your child with his friends, in favor of the latter, does not have the best effect. The child gets used to feeling worse than others, and this habit continues into adulthood.

Peer relationships

Very important factor, which is worth paying close attention to. If as a child you had any characteristics or talents that were treated with ridicule by your peers, then this is a very serious reason for concern. Due to the disapproving attitude of friends and classmates, it is difficult for a child to accept himself and this feeling of some “wrongness” accompanies him into adulthood. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that if family relationships are good and the child receives adequate upbringing, then the influence of peers will most likely not affect his future life. If you notice that your children are uncomfortable in the company of their peers, then this is a serious reason to change the environment of your kids, as well as carry out psychological work with them.

First love

First loves - in childhood or adolescence– can also have a big impact on self-esteem. In general, here we can mention relationships with the opposite sex, in general. If a girl was liked by boys, then this would probably have a positive effect on her own self-image. However, if the boys not only did not notice her, but also mocked her, this could negatively affect the formation of female self-esteem. In addition, it also matters what the girl’s first love was - mutual or not. If love turns into romantic relationship, This good sign, however, if a girl is rejected, this will probably affect her self-esteem.

Ways to increase self-esteem in a woman or girl

Accept and love yourself

If you suffer from low self-esteem, then the conclusion suggests itself - you urgently need to increase it. First of all, realize that no one is perfect, even if you think they are not. Don't dwell on your shortcomings, many of which you probably created yourself - these are just your characteristics. Instead, pay attention to your strengths. If you think that you don’t have any, then you are mistaken. Look for the virtues in yourself until you find them! It is also possible that you are one step away from some kind of advantage. Perhaps playing sports will give you an ideal figure, makeup lessons will teach you how to use cosmetics as effectively and successfully as possible, cutting and sewing courses will allow you to create winning outfits for yourself. Be that as it may, in your case it is very important to love yourself under any circumstances, even when it seems to you that you are not worthy of this love. Become your main support, and your life will begin to improve.

Stop comparing yourself to others

People with low self-esteem, when comparing themselves to others, usually do so to their detriment. Realize that any comparison is an absolutely useless exercise that will not lead to anything good. Of course, it’s another matter if, by comparing yourself with someone, you gain an incentive to become better yourself. In the case when everything ends only in self-flagellation and bad mood, this habit must be abandoned. Everyone is different - everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, even if it seems to you that there are exceptions. Don't compare yourself to anyone - just take care of yourself and improve yourself, without looking at anyone.

Down with self-criticism

Self-criticism can only be useful if it stimulates you to some new achievements. Unfortunately, girls who suffer from low self-esteem only make things worse by criticizing themselves. Mentally returning to your imperfections again and again, you only drive yourself into depression. Instead, find a reason to praise yourself. Also encourage any of your small victories - buy yourself some goodies, take care of yourself.

Be a little selfish

Many women with low self-esteem are very prone to sacrifice. Believing that they do not deserve love in themselves, such individuals try to “deserve” or “earn” love and attention. This may manifest itself in relationships with your husband or friends. You may be susceptible to this too. Examples of such behavior: you give expensive gifts to people, infringing on yourself; you spend time on their affairs, pushing your own concerns into the background; you regularly adapt to other people's plans, even if it is inconvenient for you, and so on. If you notice something like this in yourself, then it needs to be changed urgently. Learn to put your needs and desires first - at first it will be unusual for you, but then you will feel all the benefits of such tactics.

Believe in yourself and your success

Don't doubt yourself and don't belittle your worth. If you want to achieve something, then do not deprive yourself of this opportunity! If you don’t make an attempt, then everything will remain the same, but if your efforts are crowned with success, your life will sparkle with new colors - believe that this is exactly what will happen! To put yourself in the right frame of mind, periodically read biographies of successful people.

If you don’t like something about yourself or your life, then only you have the power to fix it! Self-development and self-improvement will never be superfluous. Take time to learn new things and take care of your well-being and appearance. Be attentive to your health, periodically sign up for healthy cosmetic procedures, expand your horizons. You can really start living interesting life, if you so wish! Very few people have it easy, and if you think that someone is very lucky, but you are not, then most likely it is not a matter of luck at all, but of hard work on yourself. Think about what qualities you don't like about yourself, leave a plan by which you can fix it, and stick to it.

Forgive yourself for defeats, praise for victories

Many girls are very sensitive about their defeats. Such a development of events most often drives them into a depressed state and significantly undermines self-confidence. If this is your case, then it is useful for you to learn to ignore such mistakes, only to learn the necessary lessons from them. At the same time, you should develop a completely different attitude towards your victories. Remember your achievements, reward yourself for them by giving yourself small or large gifts.

More positivity and optimism

It is very important for a girl suffering from low self-esteem to learn to think positively. On the Internet you can find many techniques in this regard, but the essence is the same - no matter what happens, look for the positive aspects in it, even if it is quite difficult. Try not only not to talk about negative topics, but also not to think about them. Control yourself - after thinking about something bad, immediately switch to more pleasant thoughts. In any situation, initially set yourself up for success, and it will accompany you!

Fight your fears. If you feel uncomfortable in large companies and get lost in conversations with people you don’t know well, then this can be fixed. Public speaking courses and periodic visits to crowded places can help you. Try to meet your fear halfway, and then it will begin to recede. Acquire new knowledge. If you are not yet comfortable attending any courses or master classes, look for the necessary lessons on the Internet. So you can learn a foreign language, learn to sew, dance and much more. The more new skills you acquire, the higher your self-esteem will be. Do not communicate with people who lower your self-esteem. If there is even the slightest possibility of this, completely cut off contact with them. Such communication will only be to your detriment, and under such circumstances it is very difficult to achieve positive result. At the same time, try to be more often in the company of people around whom you feel confident and comfortable. Spend time Special attention taking care of yourself and your appearance. People who are afraid of drawing attention to themselves are usually afraid that some shortcoming will become obvious to others. You don’t have to live with this feeling - find any way to correct in yourself what confuses you and limits you in communicating with other people. If you have enough time to engage in self-criticism and indulge in despondency, then it’s better to direct it completely a different direction - set big and small goals for yourself, make plans on how you can achieve them, and then start implementing your plans. And under no circumstances think that you won’t succeed. If you really want something, then it is achievable, even if not on the first try. The main thing is to start taking action, because usually the first step is the most difficult.

Low self-esteem is a common problem among modern teenagers. For some, it manifests itself in exceptional shyness, for others – in exorbitant aplomb, used as a protective cover. Both interfere with life - personal, social, spiritual. It is especially difficult for girls in this regard, since everyone expects something extraordinary from them. This guy may be a little more handsome than a monkey, and the young charmer must be, at a minimum, Natalia Vodianova - beautiful, fashionable, rich, surrounded by fame and numerous fans. Should it?

Where to begin?
Remember once and for all: comparison with a world-famous top model is not the best way to increase a girl’s self-esteem. Perfection is hard to compete with. Next to him, you will almost always lose. Therefore, the first thing any representative of the fair sex needs to do is focus on herself.

No matter what a girl is, there is always something good in her, something attractive and something elusively beautiful. This is where we need to stop, since increasing self-esteem is invariably associated with developing love for one’s appearance. Yes, unfortunately, we must admit that in our world we still “meet people by their clothes,” so you need to be, if not beautiful, then at least charming. Moreover, this is not easy to do, but very simple!

A girl's beauty begins with her physical health. Curvy, shiny hair, clean, smooth skin, strong, white teeth, a slender, toned figure - all this can be achieved in a matter of months. Well, if something does not lend itself to natural correction, then you can always... hide it. Fortunately, today women have an entire fashion industry on their side, which includes not only stylish branded items, but also a huge number of modern, extremely effective cosmetics. With the help of the latter you can even the most problematic skin make it clean and transparent, and most importantly pale face– bright and expressive. A correctly chosen hairstyle and a good outfit will complete the image of a charming inhabitant of the 21st century.

Remember: the easiest way to increase a girl’s self-esteem is when she likes her reflection in the mirror!

How to continue?
Self-esteem is inseparable from self-respect. Only internal self-sufficiency makes us individuals. Accordingly, you need to love not only your body, but also your soul along with your mind. And for this it is also worth working on them. We won’t talk about the importance of education - and it’s clear that a smart girl always looks much more advantageous than a blonde silly girl. And it not only looks, but also feels the same.

A smart girl does not need to explain the truism that if she is abandoned, then it is not her fault at all, but the dissimilarity of characters, circumstances, or something else. A smart girl will first of all look for logical explanations in everything, and not blame herself for something that is completely uncharacteristic for her. Finally, a smart girl will easily navigate how they want her to be: she will be able to act according to the circumstances and will never get into trouble. Well, if she gets in, she won’t be too upset, because she knows for sure: everyone makes mistakes.

A broad outlook makes us confident in conversation, which means it also increases self-esteem to some extent. Internal tact allows you to fit into any society and be on top both among your peers and older people. The ability to feel your interlocutor and basic knowledge of psychology can even perform a miracle: nothing gives self-confidence more than the realization that you understand another.

How to finish?
You can start working on yourself at any age, but the sooner this is done, the better. In order to increase self-esteem, a teenage girl partly needs the help of her parents. But she can do many things herself. The most important thing at this age is to learn to feel, accept and love yourself for who you are. Everything else is a matter of time.

It is not for nothing that they say that other people begin to love us only after we ourselves discover our own personal beauties. Therefore, before shedding tears because no one likes us, we need to try to find ourselves - in school, in hobbies, in work. A fun activity allows a person not only to spend time usefully, but also to be interesting to other people. A girl who practices dancing, figure skating or standard cross-stitching looks much more attractive than the one who only loves Dom-2 and shops.

A job, even if it’s not the highest paid one, allows you to feel needed and financially independent – ​​from your parents, from your boyfriends, from your unfulfilled desires. And if a hobby allows a girl to develop as an individual, then work makes her a real person. What else is needed to raise self-esteem? Know that you are interesting, in demand and independent!

What to do if you feel unworthy, ugly, boring? And many, many more negative adjectives. It is important to look inside yourself and want to fix it all. How to raise self-esteem for a girl, woman, teenager?

Perfect balance

Good and adequate self-esteem consists of 2 components: autonomy and adequacy. It is important to find balance in this so that every day, hour and minute you can be in harmony with yourself.

Autonomy

The first component is autonomy. Usually a girl knows everything about herself: who she is, what she can do, what kind of specialist she is, she knows her desires and goals. And even if the world, friends, colleagues and relatives turn 180 degrees away from her, she is always confident in her position in life. Autonomous self-esteem does not depend on critics, advisers, other people's experience, or any external stimuli.

Examples

Wrong:

• Mom, dad, I want to fly to Paris with my friends for the weekend.
• Oh no, what are you talking about! This is an unknown country. You will get lost there/your money will be stolen/you will be attacked by aliens.
• Well, yes. Then I won't fly to Paris.

Right:

• Mom, dad, I'm still flying to Paris. I have great friends. I know the language well, I know how to approach people. I know I can.

Adequacy

How to increase a girl's self-esteem and self-confidence? Your self-esteem should be adequate. You must evaluate yourself the way the world around you evaluates you.

If you dream of singing, but one of your friends told you not to do it, then don’t stop, this is just one opinion. But if a large group of authoritative people who understand music tell you something like this, then you should think about it. There is a possibility that your self-esteem is inadequate. And maybe you need to discover some other talent in yourself.

Although... that didn't stop me. And the girl rushes ahead. By the way, she is a good example of high self-esteem. A girl who has raised her importance and is making millions from it.

Never criticize yourself out loud in front of other people. Eat Great chance convince them of this.

There is such a misconception among people: they think that their self-esteem will increase only when they lose weight, when they receive an Oscar or become a top manager at Gazprom. It's a delusion. You need to have adequate self-esteem here and now. It grows from within. And only to such people who know their importance, what they ask for comes.‼

Looking for reasons

Before we tell you how to raise a girl’s self-esteem, it is important to identify the causes of this condition. What led to the fact that you are forced to fight with yourself every day and overpower yourself?

Everything comes from childhood

This is such a hackneyed phrase that many do not pay attention to it and ignore it. Despite all its intrusiveness, in most cases all problems come from childhood.

If you had a happy childhood and you think that your problem definitely does not lie in your family, then just skip this point.

It is impossible to identify one reason for all, so we tried to collect some phrases that could be heard in one interpretation or another from the lips of your relatives:

• What a pest you are! You broke the TV/iron/don’t put toys back/don’t clean up after yourself, etc.
• Oh, you'll never be able to lose weight! No one in our family has ever lost weight. It's all genes.
• Look how well Yegor does it, and you have... hook hands.
• Well, what do you have there? Drawing? Yes, some little scribbles, stay. Not up to you now.
• There’s no need to go there, don’t even think about it. Pirates will pick you up and take you to the Caribbean!
• Well, the standard: “But son mom's friend already sits in the government and makes laws. What have you achieved, level 80 elf? But Natasha, Aunt Lyuba’s daughter, has already gotten married, given birth to triplets and has taken out a mortgage on her apartment. Well, it’s true that I’m already divorced, but that’s not that important.”

All of this can also include hypo- and hyper-custody, when a child runs around on his own or a parent is too protective of his child.

The tomatoes have wilted

Quite often, the reason for low self-esteem is our dearest and closest (once) person. If you start a relationship with an unconscious and unfulfilled person in life, then he will throw out all his mistakes on you.

Your shortcomings bother you because you attach excessive importance to them.

As soon as his fantasies, which he created in his head, do not coincide with reality and with your behavior, he will immediately be dissatisfied. Your partner will label you as something different. This gives rise to a huge number of complexes, because you understand that your dearest person is telling you this.

Have a nice day, everyone

Social networks and #luxurious life– these are now the main factors that can significantly reduce a person’s self-esteem. You get up in the morning, scroll through your feed and see that yesterday Lyuska said that she couldn’t lend you 1000 rubles because she doesn’t have any money herself. And today she has already posted photos from Cyprus, where she wishes everyone #GM. And many people who have some merits rate themselves very low.

Practices and techniques

How to raise self-esteem for a girl at 16 years old, at 25 years old, at 35 years old, at 40 years old? We have put together some tips for you that will help you become stronger and find yourself. You can use everything at once or just one.

Enjoy your victories

You should always start small. Keep a diary or notepad, notes in your phone will do. And every day enter your achievements, good deeds there and celebrate your positive traits:

• I took the little kitten from the tree;
• I can wash all the dishes in 20 minutes and a frying pan too;
• I found the strength to get out of bed and go to study;
• I can last 3 hours without cigarettes;
• I can eat 1500 calories to lose weight;
• I may not respond to my ex’s messages, no matter how offended I may be;
• Today I was offended by a classmate, but I was able to remain silent and adequately respond to this problem.

Try to turn everything that happens to you into advantages. If you do this technique for at least a week, you will be very surprised how much good is hidden in you. How much more can come out?

Hidden gift

In your notebook, you can write down your goals. What exactly do you want? A house, a car, a family, a vacation in the Maldives, a new iPhone... What’s stopping you from getting all this? What beliefs and blocks? But the answer to this question should be short.

• What do I want?
• Meet a status and wealthy man?
• What's stopping me?
• I `m ugly.

• What do I want?
• New phone.
• What's stopping you?
• I earn little.

As you say these phrases, you should ask yourself: Where does this belief live? How does it make me feel? Next, you need to dive your inner gaze, inside yourself, and see how exactly it lives there? What is this? Swamp? Damp hole? A dark room? Sludge? Everyone has their own association.

Try to describe this place as best you can. Just don't get distracted. Dive to the very bottom. After a couple of minutes, you should knock on the bottom and the second bottom will open. Free yourself from this state completely.

How can a girl increase her self-esteem with the help of affirmations? After the work done, write down on paper your antipodean qualities:

• Was: I `m ugly. Became: I am beautiful, I am worthy of love.
• Was: I'm irritable. Became: I react adequately and calmly to any things.

Learn to accept compliments from others. Never give them up.

Dig yours hidden gift, which is at the root of your deficiency. Visualize and visualize yourself making these positive achievements as you step from your right to your left foot. You can also say motivating phrases before some extreme actions: skydiving or diving. These techniques will help you “anchor” your beliefs in your mind.

Custom stickers

How to increase a girl's self-esteem? Once you have collected your cool qualities, try to draw your own symbol in this state, which will reflect your positive aspects. It could be a heart, a star, your zodiac sign, a unicorn, a princess, a crown, whatever.

Make about 20-30 of these stickers and simply place them throughout the room. As soon as you see them, you will remember your positive aspects or purposes. They will definitely play a role in your development.

Facing fear

How to raise the self-esteem of a teenage girl and a creepy introvert? Even if you are the most introverted introvert in the world, face your fear. Start an Instagram, post your selfies, your looks, your food, share your music. It's crazy hard to do, but encourage yourself to do public speaking. In adequate quantities. Let them admire you, let them evaluate you.

Turn your problems into dust. Reduce their importance.

Chakra pumping

Anyone who is interested in this can try to pump up their 3rd chakra. The chakra called Manipura is responsible for our self-esteem and is located in the navel area. During meditation, you must plant the seed within yourself with the “I can!” program. It is this phrase that strengthens self-esteem and makes it autonomous.

There are two ways to pump up the chakras:

Sport

If you like to play sports, then during physical activity, scroll through your positive qualities in your head: I can cook well, I can help animals, I can enjoy life, etc. During such activities, your energy is strengthened and your self-esteem increases.