How to develop positive personality traits in a child. How to develop the necessary qualities in yourself

There are many qualities that must be nurtured (formed) by education. Willy-nilly, we have to highlight priority ones (from the Latin prior - first). Priority will be given to educational tasks that reflect the eternal values ​​of life. The eternal human virtues have value today and will always have it.

Among them:

– goodwill;
– moderation;
– activity;
– accuracy;
- politeness;
– friendliness;
– discipline;
– performance;
- call of Duty;
– a sense of national pride;
– patriotism;
- responsibility;
– culture of communication;
– respect for nature;
– respect for the rights and freedoms of other people;
– honesty (truthfulness);
– sensitivity (mercy);
– responsibility for one’s actions;
– organization;
– hard work;
– persistence (commitment);
– modesty;
– collectivism (the ability to work together);
– initiative (independence);
– efficiency (enterprise);
- responsibility;
– tactfulness;
– ability to behave in society;
– neatness (cleanliness);
– diligence;
– gullibility;
– responsibility for your health;
– active image life;
– versatile education;
– following spiritual commandments;
– ability to improve family relationships;
– respect for parents;
– diligence;
– tolerance.

The school educational process is aimed at instilling virtues.

Important dependencies have been established that manifest themselves in the formation of personality traits and without which the educational process does not achieve success. Let's consider this using the example of the formation of the quality “trust”. As you know, today there is a “crisis of trust”, as a result of which the eternal values ​​that once cemented relationships between people are literally crumbling before our eyes. People's trust in everyone and everything, and in themselves too, is approaching zero. Unless people begin to trust each other again, the future of the world may be in doubt.

A gene for gullibility has been discovered in humans; it is activated under the influence of external factors. Upbringing and life experience can switch him into a state of “mistrust,” and then a person perceives the entire external environment as a “hostile environment” in which one must survive and with which one must fight. It's not hard to imagine what it turns into human life.

Experiments conducted by Frankfurt University professor M. Kosfeld led him to the conclusion that “trust is biologically inherent in humans.” Kosfeld discovered that when two people interact with each other, their brains release the hormone oxytocin, which encourages trust. Kosfeld argues that this is one of the distinguishing characteristics of a person. When there is no trust, people in a certain sense cease to be people.

Research has identified factors influencing the development of trust. The first of them is greed. People resort to countless forms of deception, overwhelmed by greed, passion for money and power. Sooner or later their intentions and actions are revealed, and trust decreases.

If prominent public figures in political, economic, social and cultural circles are far from blameless, then so are ordinary people there is no reason to be perfect.

The second reason is success at any cost. German university students are reportedly paying thousands of euros in bribes to professors to earn a doctorate, which is considered a sign of prosperity in that country. According to a study reported in The New York Times, many students who commit ethical violations say they "plan to strictly follow ethical laws" after they succeed.

The third most important influence is the lack of a role model. Much has been written about how young people have no moral compass. Only the reason is kept silent. In fact, neither teachers, nor mentors, nor anyone else in society have helped young people create this moral compass within themselves and live by it.

The fourth reason is double standards. In a study of 30,000 high school students, 98% said they believed honesty was an important component of human relationships. Yet eight in 10 admitted to lying to their parents, and 64% said they had cheated in exams in the past year.

Of course, there are other reasons that influence the formation of this quality, and these reasons are not random, but of a natural nature.

To summarize, we formulate the law of developing trust. The effectiveness of instilling trust in schoolchildren depends on:

1) from knowledge of the reasons;

2) personal example of mentors;

3) targeted exercises;

4) self-education.

To begin to develop character in yourself, you first need to understand what it is. The term once referred to the minting of coins, but in modern world means nothing more than the sum personal qualities person. These include such characteristics as honesty, courage, friendliness, openness, patience, cunning. They can be both positive and negative. The set of these qualities determines the essence of a person, his personality, what he is. How to develop will and character?

What is a person's character based on?

We should start with the fact that the basic characteristics of a person are laid down at the genetic level. The next stage is raising a child. But you should not adhere to the opinion and say: “What has grown, has grown,” any qualities can be quite consciously instilled. Or even vice versa, get rid of the shortcomings that interfere with life. This is where self-education, character building, and willpower training come into play. Even the most modest and insecure people can become strong personalities, cultivate will and determination. There are many ways to build character.

Where should I start?

To begin to cultivate all the necessary qualities in yourself and figure out what your strength is, you need to determine what this very strength of character consists of. First of all, these are the factors that enable a person to control himself, his instincts, emotions, and resist temptations due to his beliefs. It is worth noting that strength of character is freedom from prejudice, tolerance, respect for others, and so on. Before you begin to develop a strong character, you need to answer two basic questions: why do you need it, and what does strength of character mean to you. Character building activities are based on the following principles.

What should you consider?

To begin to develop character, you need to understand the following:

• Willpower and character will give you the opportunity to achieve all your goals, help you overcome obstacles along the way, take failures lightly and move forward. Ultimately, you will be able to achieve anything you want.
• You will no longer want to whine and complain about it and without it, as many do. A strong character will allow you to analyze your condition, mood and as soon as possible eliminate the causes.
• You will work more productively, since strength of character is the courage to admit, first of all, your own mistakes, analyze your weaknesses and build a new strong-willed personality.
• Another important life quality is the ability to maintain a sober mind when circumstances turn against us. You will be able to swim against the current and move on, no matter what. All great people did this.

Once you decide which of the listed characteristics are paramount, it will be easier to begin the process of self-education. Step by step, brick by brick. Now you have to work hard on yourself and there will be no turning back.

Learn to empathize with others

Qualities such as empathy and the ability to love people around you no less than yourself help you feel, first of all, harmony with yourself. These qualities should especially manifest themselves in relation to the weaker. But don't confuse empathy with sympathy. The point is that the first option is characterized by participation in a person’s fate, help not in word, but in deed. While sympathy is a passive reaction that involves emotional comfort. As psychologists say, by helping others, you yourself will grow and develop as a person. The developing and nurturing nature of learning is the basis of empathy.

Know how to resist fleeting impulses

This includes such banal things as craving for sweets, constantly putting off until tomorrow, and so on. Aristotle also wrote that every person has the following fundamental qualities: love, hatred, desire, fear, joy, sadness, anger. In fact, each of these qualities is normal for a person. But it’s not so simple here, there is a certain amount of insidiousness here, because they can even be above our minds. And here we, such smart and highly intelligent individuals, begin to eat everything indiscriminately, make unnecessary purchases, give vent to fleeting anger and emotional impulses. We are all human and each of us has our own weaknesses and passions. And only by developing character and strengthening willpower can you stop being a slave to your habits. Indulging in fleeting desires is a sign of weakness, and only the ability to restrain whims and passions is already a sign of willpower and character. This is the only way to develop character.

Apperciate things which you have

If we constantly think that somewhere the sun is brighter, the grass is greener and everyone around us lives better, happier and richer, we may simply not notice how we will no longer be pleased with what is around us. Remember that each person has their own problems and these are just your assumptions about how great others are living. Don't look at others, focus only on yourself, look only for the good around you. This is probably where character building activities need to begin.

Control your feelings and emotions

Only common sense and rationality can and should guide you in Everyday life. Only a person with a strong character can look at everything that happens only from the position of reasonable perception, with a rational attitude to every little thing, and not through the filter of his emotions. Cultivate the ability to leave emotions in the background and control the chaos of sensations that arise. At first it will be very difficult, and at times it will even seem impossible, but even this you can learn to control and suppress. Restraint and common sense are the basis of willpower.

Leadership skills

Pessimists rarely achieve anything truly great. But it’s not enough to just be an optimist. As they say, a pessimist will whine that the wind has started, optimists will wait for it and only the leader will do everything possible to adjust the sails and be ready for any weather conditions. They say that leaders are born, but psychologists say that this is not so. You can develop a character that suits your lifestyle and your goals.

Move forward no matter what

Absolutely any person always thinks about their interests first. This can happen both on an unconscious level and absolutely consciously. Don't let anyone force their opinion on you and don't do it yourself. Every person deserves to live his life the way he wants, and not according to other people. Just accept for yourself as a basis the fact that every person has the right to his own opinion, to his own truth. As they say, you are not a million dollars to please everyone and it will never be the case that everyone around you will accept your point of view, your opinion. Determine the right course for yourself and follow your goals and principles without retreating.

Learn to avoid conflicts and do good

You can live in harmony with yourself only if there is harmony with the world and others. Strive for this with all your thoughts, your soul. And this can only be achieved by cultivating willpower and character. Going over your head, plotting and ignoring everyone around you is not the best and certainly not the only way to get to cherished goal. In search of exclusively personal gain, people often enter into conflicts and make enemies, which sooner or later turns against the person. The boomerang law, simply put. To meet your needs 100%, you need to think about what your actions will entail.

Calm, just calm!

First of all, take care of your inner state, only calm will give you the opportunity to concentrate as much as possible and gather your thoughts in order to act rationally. And here everything is interconnected - inner silence and contemplation leads to opportunities, which, in turn, make it possible to achieve success. No matter how strange it may seem, calmness is the first condition for developing a strong character. An excess of emotions, following fleeting weaknesses is the absence of an internal state of silence. This is a kind of regulator of strength and will and an opportunity to develop character.

Only positivity and faith in one’s own strength, and not in the villainous fate

Only positive emotions will bring luck and self-confidence, leave all the negativity behind and remember only the good. Even doctors say that the best thing a patient can do for himself during an illness is not to think about his problems, but to enjoy life and believe in the best. It’s not for nothing that they say that with the help of willpower you can drown out even physical pain, you just need to distract yourself with other things. This applies to every day of life. If you constantly think about the bad, then your everyday life will be so gray and dull. Only with your own hands can you bring color and joy to your every day. Each person is responsible for his own life and how events develop in it. Do not think that everything is predetermined by fate, but change anything in better side you are unable to. Don't give up on the initiative, change yourself and the world around you. And remember: no one will do it for you.

Be patient and overcome all fears

Only strong character and willpower enable a person to overcome all difficulties no matter what. Do not think about fleeting pleasure, especially if it will be to the detriment of the most important goal. Learn not to indulge your emotions, learn to wait. Try to cultivate fortitude and overcome fears. Unfortunately, many of our fears are the main enemies on the path to success. And we are most often afraid of something far-fetched, based on superficial observations. As soon as you overcome even the smallest fear, faith in your own strength will increase several times. This is how character is developed.

Clear your mind and be honest with others and yourself

Every person can be called a gardener. We all grow ourselves. Therefore, what needs to be done first is to get rid of the weeds in order to allow something pure and beautiful to sprout. Keep yourself busy with something exciting, new and interesting. Something that will help you develop and grow, develop will and character. Be honest with others and with yourself. What kind of character strength can we talk about? The love of telling a lie is, first of all, cowardice.

It's time to act!

Now that we have figured out how to develop a strong character, it’s time to start taking action! Self-education is not an easy task. In any case, when you want to give up everything and give up, remember the following:

• The principle of nurturing character - try, try and try again! No one can answer the question of how many attempts will have to be made to achieve desired result and cultivate strength in yourself. But one thing is clear - you need to do it until you can achieve your plan.
• Accept defeat and never give up - the principle of the educational nature of learning. There will be no willpower and character if you do not learn to overcome defeats. The ability not to give up after a series of failures is something that parents should instill in a child’s character. Error or failure is the way to comprehend the truth.
• Get rid of any negative influence on you from the outside, remember that no situation or event should affect your condition. Set a plan to work on yourself and learn to speak correctly. Lexicon is one of the principles of character education.
• Surround yourself with people who are similar to you in goals and aspirations so that they help you reach upward.

Of course, there is no classic recipe for developing willpower and character. Try, strive, learn.

What will help you on the way to your goal?

Developing one character trait is not an easy task. Take note of the following rules:

• Overcome difficulties, no matter what. Character is built by difficulties.
• Read books and not only your favorite ones, experiment with different genres. Grow and develop.
• Have your opinion and express it.
• Set goals and, most importantly, achieve them. A person with a weak character does not know what he wants. Contradictions, doubts, hesitations prevent you from living a bright and full life.
• Learn to say no. Failure to answer directly is a sign of weakness.
• Form your environment correctly.

We educate, grow and develop ourselves. Don't get stuck in a corner and build strength and perseverance.

Education of a child’s personality is the formation in him of such qualities as self-confidence, feeling self-esteem, strong character, high morality. This process cannot be organized according to any clear plan, since the development of a child’s character occurs throughout the entire period of childhood, and not only parents, but also other family members participate in it. However, parents need to know about the principles of nurturing the child’s personality and devote time to developing positive qualities in him.

Child upbringing and personality development

How should a child’s personality be nurtured? Let's consider the basic principles that parents should adhere to so that their child grows up to be a self-sufficient person.

Adoption. The child's character begins to manifest itself already in the youngest preschool age. It is important to understand that each child is individual, and much of his behavior depends on his temperament. If parents want to see their baby active and lively, but he loves quiet activities, you shouldn’t try to change the child by forcing him to do something he doesn’t like. From an early age, you need to accept him for who he is, without comparing him with other children, and especially with his ideas about what a good child should be.

Patience. Parents should carefully monitor the baby and gently correct his character, but this must be done delicately. If any negative qualities are observed in his behavior, this is not at all a reason to panic. In the early years, any child can be capricious, stubborn and disobedient. Such qualities appear during transitional periods of child development and are a temporary phenomenon. Educational techniques necessary during such periods are soft and unobtrusive suggestion and explanation. Of course, this will require enormous patience from parents, but it will bring much better results in nurturing the child’s personality than prohibitions and punishments alone.

Personal example. From a very early age, children copy the behavior of their parents - this is a natural process that plays a decisive role in developing the child’s character. Therefore, it is important for parents not only to explain to their child what is good and what is bad, but also to ensure that their own behavior complies with these rules. How to raise a child to be kind and tolerant if you constantly show aggression or irritation towards him? You should not demand from your child to show qualities that you yourself do not have.

Comfortable climate in the family. Harmonious personality can only form in the appropriate atmosphere. The development of a child’s personality should take place in normal conditions. psychological climate. IN family circle he should feel calm and supported. If conflicts often occur in the family, the child will grow up closed and distrustful of the world, and many positive traits his character will be suppressed.

Development of independence. The child’s activities should be organized so that he learns to choose games and activities for himself. The role of parents should be guiding: they should give the child ideas for games, engage in some kind of joint activity with him, but at the same time give him opportunities for self-expression, allowing him to do what he likes. It is also important from an early age to encourage any initiative of the child when he wants to learn how to do something himself. Small errands and chores around the house gradually develop in him responsibility and a sense of self-worth.

How to develop certain qualities in a child?

Education of a child's character includes the formation and development of specific qualities in him. The best way This also means leading by example. But parents should also adopt other techniques. They depend on what quality they want to instill or strengthen in the child’s character.

How to raise a kind child? You need to cultivate kindness in a child from an early age. You should patiently explain to him how to act correctly in various situations and why it is important to show kindness and compassion. Very good method Raising kindness, sensitivity and the ability to compassion in a child is reading fairy tales. They help the baby understand what good and evil are. It is best not just to read fairy tales to your child, but also to discuss positive and negative characters with him, while explaining why good always wins and evil gets what it deserves.

To develop a child's self-confidence and self-confidence, parents should use positive assessment. It is important to listen to his opinion, and also always praise him for the work done, knowledge acquired and any other successes. You should not overload your child by forcing him to do everything at once - dancing, sports, music, foreign languages... It is better to give him the right to choose to do what interests him. How to educate confident child what if the baby grows up quiet and shy? Firstly, you need to accept these features of his character, and secondly, organize the child’s activities in accordance with them. If the child likes quiet games and classes, there’s nothing wrong with that. Feelings of confidence may not manifest in the form of loud speech, being sociable and active, but your child will still learn to feel confident in his abilities if you show him your unconditional love, which is not dependent on whether he meets your personal expectations or not.

How to raise a child to be a leader? To develop leadership qualities in a child, parents are advised to instill in him an interest in competitive activities, as well as actively develop the child's social skills and self-confidence. If he does not strive to be the first always and in everything and does not show leadership qualities when communicating with peers, the upbringing and development of the child’s personality should take place according to the same rules, but taking into account individual characteristics his character. Many parents who are concerned with the question of how to raise their child to be a leader forget about this and show their disappointment if they do not see the child demonstrating leadership abilities. The child will definitely feel it, and this will negatively affect self-esteem. Allow him to develop those qualities that are given by nature, as well as independently decide who to be friends with and how to build relationships with peers.

Nurturing a child’s personal qualities is the transfer of knowledge about correct forms behavior in society, focusing on generally accepted norms and values. Therefore, raising a child primarily involves personal examples, from which the child will learn from his teacher.

Stages of personal qualities development

So, let's talk about what stages there are in developing a child's personal qualities.

The first stage is the formation in the child of the need for knowledge social world and the development of certain qualities.

The second stage is the child’s assimilation of knowledge and concepts about personal qualities.

The third stage is the formation of various skills, abilities and habits of behavior.

A child will be able to go through all these stages only if upbringing includes various shapes vigorous activity. Therefore, the teacher’s task is to organize some kind of activity, and then motivate the child to take an active part in it. It must be remembered that from time to time, the goal of developing the necessary qualities may change, depending on what the child learns, what conclusions he draws and how he reacts to situations. The development of personal qualities is also influenced by changes that occur in society. The teacher must monitor them in order to correctly orient the child. But it is worth noting that in any society such qualities as humanity, spirituality, freedom and responsibility are valued. To cultivate these qualities, the teacher must clearly understand the goal and find an individual approach to each child. This is the only way he can quickly achieve results and be sure that the student has received all the necessary skills and can correctly set life priorities.

Multifactorial character of personal qualities education

Remember that parenting is always multifactorial. The personality is constantly influenced by a wide variety of life factors. Therefore, you cannot try to raise all children the same way. It is necessary to select methods depending on what external factors can influence the child’s worldview and the formation of his values. Also, do not forget that all children different tempers. For example, some are stimulated to action by strict treatment, while others, on the contrary, are frightened. Anxious and vulnerable child will perceive this form of education as humiliation and insult from the teacher.

Another important fact that a teacher should always remember is that education never gives an immediate effect. Therefore, you should not try to instill in your baby all the necessary qualities at one time. Children do not always understand what teachers are trying to convey to them due to a wide variety of factors that influence them. Therefore, you need to show your child how to behave and react to certain events by your own example, repeating this until you see that the child consciously repeats your behavior model.

Positive emotional background for education

When working with children, it is necessary to create a positive emotional background. Therefore, the teacher must carefully ensure that there are good relationships in the team. There should be equality between them. Also, in no case should you focus on the child’s mistakes and mistakes.

During the preschool period, children learn standards of behavior and criteria for their assessment, i.e. whether this behavior is desirable or not. At the same age, the ability to evaluate one’s actions and their results, to compare them with the expectations of those around him develops. significant people(for example, parents), self-esteem is formed and manifested, based on such moral feelings as shame, embarrassment, pride.

Moral feelings and qualities are manifested in a child when communicating with peers, adults and in any of his activities. The tasks of parents and teachers undoubtedly include the formation of healthy self-esteem in the child and the development of his socio-moral qualities.

What are these qualities? Despite the relevance of this issue for teachers and psychologists, today there is no unified classification of the types of moral feelings and qualities in children. Nevertheless, there is a certain systematization, and it is with this that we will take a closer look.

One of the important moral feelings of a preschooler is sense of truth: The child really needs his ideas about the world around him to be truthful and correct. It is for this reason that he is so eager to master the truth. The discrepancy between facts, reality and their verbal description is perceived by the child with distrust and antipathy. Of course, the desire for truth alone is not enough for a child to grow up honest and conscientious. An innate desire to know the truth is considered, but a sense of truthfulness needs to be cultivated. It is this that contributes to the feeling of spiritual comfort for the individual. Sincerity and truthfulness are important manifestations personal development. Nurturing conscience and a sense of truthfulness are quite subtle things, especially in preschool age, when the child is prone to inventing and fantasizing. This process requires an adult to have sound thinking, pedagogical competence, tact, and to establish and maintain mutual trust.

Feeling of trustmanifests itself in a preschooler in relation to those who evoke positive emotions in him. This feeling is expressed in the child’s openness, his desire to contact others, in the feeling of spiritual comfort from communication, in his willingness to trust a person with his secrets and desires, to share thoughts and experiences. The basis for a child’s manifestation of this feeling is his positive attitude towards the environment, experience of communication (primarily with parents), and the belief that he can always be supported in difficult times.

Sense of justice - this is a child’s experience of his desire to bring the truth to life, to comprehend the truth, to relate to peers and adults at ease. It is based on the child’s perception of the concept of “good” and “bad” norms. They are operated during banal actions (distribution of toys, roles), external examples of the manifestation of these norms, when the child, under the influence of the instructions of his parents, must determine this or that himself. The formation of a sense of justice is facilitated by the objectivity of the assessment of the child’s actions, as well as the child’s development of an adequate assessment of himself.

Feeling of empathylies in the preschooler’s ability to understand the experiences of others and consciously strive to help, show responsiveness, and empathy. The ability to empathize shapes a child as a part of society. The development of this moral feeling limits the manifestation of our egoism and helps us feel ourselves in the place of another. Raising empathy involves supporting a child if he has done something for the good and without self-interest, without expecting excessive praise for it, but perceiving it as a natural act. The feeling of empathy also contributes to the preschooler’s perception of the concept of “humanism”, helps to adequately understand the opinions and criticism of others, and helps to become responsive.

Feeling of sympathy contained in the child’s ability to give preference to some people over others. The more supportive a person is, the more likable he is. This feeling is manifested by the child in small actions and deeds: sitting next to each other, greeting joyfully when meeting, playing and talking together, telling others about the object of his sympathy. However, in his disposition towards a person, a preschooler is guided not only by the “force of attraction” or childhood love, but by quite significant motives - recognition of the authority of a particular person, the perception that together the probability of achieving what he wants increases.

Such a moral feeling as self-esteem manifests itself in a preschooler during criticism from others, especially people who are authoritative for him, in accordance with his moral standards. This feeling occurs when a child tries to defend his “I”, his rights as an individual or performer of a certain job. This feeling is closely related to the character trait of honesty and is an integral part of moral emotions.

Close to him are feelings of self-respect And pride. A preschooler's self-esteem is formed under the influence of a polite attitude, which is based on the recognition and identification of the child's positive qualities and his success in any activity. Self-love combines a child’s self-esteem and his attitude towards the assessment of others. In general, instilling in children a sense of self-worth, self-respect, as well as other moral feelings and qualities, including conscience, altruism, responsibility, contributes to the child’s development of the ability to adequately evaluate himself and others, the ability to restrain himself, to act not impulsively, but consciously. The task of adults is to create and maintain an atmosphere of love of life, an optimistic mood, a positive emotional condition, a sense of security, interest in the world around us.

Victoria Pyshnaya, teacher at the ABC for Parents network of family centers.