Following these rules will help you and your baby quickly find a common rhythm of life, without, however, violating each other’s personal space. Remember your indignation when you urgently need to go to work, and your child is very leisurely tying his shoelaces. Or, for example, when a child is reluctant to go to kindergarten, accompanying the farewell with tears and attempts to follow you. All these examples speak, first of all, of untimely accustoming of the child to generally accepted rules. Let's look at what are the most important rituals any child should memorize early.
5 rules (rituals) for the proper upbringing of a child
1. Go to bed on time
This rule turns into an almost eternal problem for many, especially when the apartment is constantly filled with fun and noisy conversations until the morning. Remember that a small child needs full sleep up to 9 hours a day, and precisely at night. Otherwise, the next day he will be capricious, eat poorly, or even not want to get up in the morning. At 6 pm the child should already be dressed in a sleeping suit and brush his teeth. At 20 o'clock in the evening, his stay is accordingly moved to the children's room, where it is recommended to engage in light, non-active games, for example, counting cubes or looking at a picture book. This way, your baby will get used to being quiet in the evening. Which, accordingly, will help him fall asleep faster, without reacting to extraneous noises. Do not give heavy foods at night, such as old kefir, raw vegetables, fruits, chocolate, beans, etc. The cause of insomnia may well be poor nutrition, which causes fermentation in the tummy in children.
2. Wash your hands
In addition to the benefits of hygiene, this habit creates in the child a sense of cleanliness towards himself. Which, of course, will subsequently affect his external and internal development. Mourning “edges” under the nails can also cause the appearance of worms, which will subsequently be very difficult to get rid of. In addition, this appearance does not make the child attractive compared to his more well-groomed peers, which initially affects his position in society itself. Teach your child to wash their hands before eating or after using the toilet. Buy for him a cheerfully colored towel, soap in the form of bunny or heart figures, and also buy a small basin just for his use, on which you can stick funny figures so that the child understands where only “his” things are. Hand washing in the morning and evening is considered an absolutely necessary minimum standard of daily hygiene for a baby. Many young children also often put their hands in their mouth, which provokes a variety of unpleasant infections.
3. Brush your teeth regularly
Starting from the appearance of almost all milk teeth, it is necessary to persistently begin to introduce the habit of caring for them. Of course, it is very difficult to explain to a child what a dentist is and why teeth hurt. However, in in this case It wouldn’t be out of place to even resort to harmless deception. Buy a game for your child that he can only play if he brushes his teeth. Show the game and tell him he can play with it when his breath smells like toothpaste. Brush your teeth yourself and blow on your baby. Say this: “mm.. fresh breath!!”... When the baby feels how pleasant the smell of toothpaste is, invite him to also brush his teeth, after which he should “blow” on you. Here, of course, you should also “admire” the fact that the child has fresh breath.
Let us remind you that it is very important to strengthen emotions when rewarding or punishing so that the child understands their true meaning. Since, unlike an adult, a baby is not able to think about words.
4. Put everything in its place
A very difficult habit to develop, but absolutely necessary for you. First, the child develops a sense of organization, which will have a positive impact throughout his life. How to develop it? - Gradually. It is impossible to force a child to do what he does not want. But he can be motivated. For example, because he cannot watch a cartoon or read “this” book until he collects all the cubes in “this” box. Children may not understand all the words, but they are by no means stupid. The child will immediately understand that he is being deprived of fun if the blocks are left lying on the floor. Thus, in the future, he will clean up his toys, things and room himself without any reminders.
5. Don't take your parents' things
For this to truly become a reality, it is not enough to remove everything from sight. Here, in addition to rewards, unfortunately, it is necessary to apply small harmless punishments. For example, not only put the blocks in a box, but also put all the toys or stand in the corner. Why are incentives not appropriate here? Everything is very simple. Having become accustomed to receiving candy for such “good” behavior, the child will, on the contrary, deliberately take and hide powder compacts, keys, matches in the most unusual places in order to earn a treat. Develop respect for your parent’s private sphere from an early age in order to retain it in the future. Make a small cabinet with a door for your child using cardboard, scissors and glue. Color it with colored markers and sign who it belongs to. Invite your child to put his favorite things there and never take them out personally. Simulate the situation as if you needed a teddy bear from the locker to “feed” it. Ask your child to take the teddy bear out of the cabinet and put it back as well. Over time, his commitment will develop a sense of ownership, and he will enjoy using it.
How to raise a child: practice
Now let's move on to situations where, in addition to you and your baby, third parties are involved in what is happening - children or adults. Let's look at a few everyday situations from practice and analyze them.Situation 1. Your child is offended by another child
In such cases, it is recommended to hesitate for a second with protection on your part (unless we are talking about physical damage, of course) and try to understand how your child will react to this. Based on the results of such a test, you will either not pay attention to such situations in the future - if the child is able to stand up for himself, or correct his behavior - if this is not the case. Feel free to teach your child a few self-defense lessons at home. Intellectual conversations at this age will not help the baby much.
Since small children, due to the immaturity of their thinking, decide almost everything by force, the principle of all their actions is based on the “possible - not possible” scheme. AND Teddy bear as a result, the one with more power will take it. However, there is no need to cultivate excessive aggression in this case. Just show the child that his toy is his thing and that you can actually squeeze it forcefully in your fist, and if necessary, give back for it. The sense of leadership is especially evident in boys. Their games are mostly noisy, full of sudden movements, and come down to pushing, taking away, conquering etc. Do not stop children’s activity unnecessarily, especially in front of strangers. All this must be done calmly and in private.
Situation 2. Your child bullies other children
Such grievances are usually accompanied by pain to the opponent. If this happens often enough, you need to contact a child psychologist. However, in some cases, a child offends children in return - if they offended him, or maybe based on your behavior, that is, the behavior of his parents and other relatives, if, for example, his older brother offends him or his dad offends his mother.
Sometimes children are prone to autism, as a rule, they do it almost unconsciously. Because they don't know that the opponent feels pain. Observe your baby's reaction when he sees people crying or laughing. Does his facial expression change at the same time? Is he also trying to indulge in such emotions? If a baby almost always maintains the same neutral reaction to different emotions, it makes sense to really take an interest in such a phenomenon as autism. Autistic children are inherently completely healthy.
However, their reaction to the manifestation of the external world may be distorted due to an insufficient sense of reality. They may often get burned on a hot frying pan, or walk across the road completely ignoring traffic. Such alienations can and should be corrected. With the help of special games that a speech therapist or child psychologist. Try to explain to your child what pain is. Place the teddy bear on a chair, sit down yourself and have your child sit next to you. Pinch the bear so that the child also repeats this action. Then ask to pinch yourself. After which you must certainly pinch the baby. When a child pinches you, depict a feeling of pain on your face and accompany it with a bitter sigh. When he pinches the bear, “take pity” on the bear, blow on its paw, show sympathy, so that the child is also forced to follow your gesture of condolences. If it happens that the child himself real life experiences discomfort, for example, in case of a fall or injury, do not forget to express emotions of sympathy. This is how you show your baby what condolences are and how they differ from joy.
Situation 3. The child feels uncomfortable around his peers
When such a situation occurs, it is necessary to clearly identify the reason why this is happening. If there are so-called “child provocateurs” in a group of children, then do not rush to label your child as an aggressor. Take a close look and listen to how your baby reacts to provocations from overly active children. If he strives to avoid such communication with only one playmate, then consider yourself lucky. It would be inappropriate to take any measures, since the baby must understand all feelings, including grievances and frustrations, and even anger. Otherwise he will be completely unprepared for adult life.
If your baby avoids basically all the children in the group, it is recommended to immediately change the group. A prolonged stay in such uncomfortable conditions can seriously damage the psyche. small child. Having once felt disappointment from communicating with all his peers, he will try to avoid contact in the future, which makes the child withdrawn, and therefore weak. No matter how much you like the teacher or kindergarten, remember that a smile between adults when meeting and picking up a child from kindergarten is not worth even a second of thought if your child seems uncomfortable with his group.
In addition, it is recommended that children who lack self-confidence be offered group games where they could not do without a playmate. This could be football, tennis, hide and seek, etc. Group games with peers are very important for a child. His world is at the level of his eyes, which means that big uncles and aunts will not be interesting to him because “this little girl with bows,” although she still cannot speak. In a group, kids together experience various emotions, including disappointment, comfort, joy, and competition. For this reason, it is not recommended to limit a child’s communication with peers.
So, as you can see, raising a child is quite a painstaking task. However, the site wants to point out that we should not forget that we bear the greatest responsibility in our lives for our children. Do not waste time with your child, do not push him away, even if you are very busy listening to his still incomprehensible words. Remember that you were once very small. Errors and gaps in education can lead to very negative consequences, which will be very, very difficult to fix, if not impossible. Give all the time you can to your children, they will appreciate it as they grow up.
All young parents need to know how to properly raise a child from birth. The opinion that it is necessary to raise a baby at the moment when he is already walking and talking is quite erroneous. It is on what foundation is laid in the child’s character in the period up to 1 year that his further development and perception of the world and society will depend.
Conventionally, the development of a baby in the first year of life is divided into 4 stages, each lasting 3 months. One can only imagine how much effort it will take for a baby to learn so much in just 1 year. Therefore, a huge responsibility falls on the shoulders of parents; advice from pediatricians and child psychologists will help here.
The first stage of child development lasts from the moment of birth until he is 3 months old. It is at this time that it is very important to help the child get used to the world around him, hygiene, and teach him the first skills of communication and sensory perception.
In the first weeks of life, the baby needs nothing more than satisfaction of hunger, good health and sound sleep. However, then there comes a moment when, in addition to basic desires, the child begins to look around, studying and observing. It is important from now on to teach him to contemplate everything with his head held high, for which you need to turn him over on his stomach, even if this causes protest. Over time, this will become a good habit.
Particular attention must be paid to hygiene. Already from the cradle, you need to teach your baby to wash his face every morning. Even a simple diaper change will gradually accustom the child to cleanliness, and over time he himself will show that it is time for hygiene procedures.
Must be included in the development and upbringing of children early age. To do this, all procedures must be accompanied by gentle conversations and humming songs. Each of your actions needs to be voiced, commented on, and told what is happening to him right now. A smile in conversation will lay the foundations of a culture of communication and will make the child happier.
We must not forget that from birth it is necessary to teach the baby to be independent. To do this, you need to accustom him to being alone in the crib for some time, cooing and playing with his first toys. Hanging carousels are perfect for this, as they both entertain and develop a child’s visual and sensory skills.
Second stage of development
When the baby reaches 3 months, the second stage of development begins. At this stage, kids begin to learn in depth to talk, communicate, and distinguish between things around them. It is very difficult for them to do this on their own, so the responsibility for such an important period of growth and upbringing falls on the shoulders of mom and dad.
It is very important to turn on music for your child at this time, especially classics and children's songs. In addition, you need to draw the baby’s attention to the sounds of the surrounding nature, while accompanying all this with comments.
It is necessary to talk to your baby as often as possible, especially during active play. Be sure to include toys in the form of animals, while trying to involve him in the game Who Says What. Already at such a young age, children begin to distinguish colors, shapes, and materials by touch. In addition, they actively begin to study their body, so it is very important to pronounce the names of body parts during a daily developmental massage. Do not forget that all conversations with the baby should be conducted in a gentle and affectionate tone.
Do not forget about the importance of physical development in children 3-6 months old. At the beginning of this period, all babies are already holding their heads tightly, trying to concentrate their attention on some object and trying to grab it and hold it tightly. But a strong desire to learn everything new makes the baby sit up and try to sit down in order to see as much space around him as possible. They increasingly demand attention, ask to be held, and it is much more difficult for them to lie in one place for a long time.
Toys occupy an important place at this stage of children's development. Balls, soft cubes with colorful pictures, and rubber squeakers will help parents develop tactile, sensory and auditory reactions in their baby. And teethers will help cope with the discomfort caused by the appearance of the first teeth.
Growing up after reaching six months
Methods of raising children of six months of age are radically moving into the active phase. At this age, babies begin to sit up, learn to crawl, try to stand up and even walk. Very often it is at this stage if they do not know the rules of raising young children.
It seems to adults that the safety of the baby is the most important priority, while forgetting that encouraging curiosity and research is no less important.
Constant prohibitions will confuse the child. It would be more correct to allow him to fully study everything around him, but to remove everything dangerous items out of reach. Cabinets and shelves should be filled with toys, and not locked and constantly following the child, repeating the words of prohibitions.
It's time to start potty training your offspring by sitting him down after sleep, feeding, or walking. Over time, it will become clear to him what they want from him, and it is quite possible that soon he himself will begin to give signs of natural needs.
Hygiene rules during this period begin to include mandatory hand washing before eating and after going outside. In addition, the formation of a culture of cleanliness at this age can be achieved through teaching teeth brushing. For this purpose, in our time there are special toothbrushes that are put on the finger and, at the same time as cleaning, perfectly massage the gums.
Since the baby is already sitting up and most parents are starting to introduce additional food, bibs are necessary. At the same time, it is imperative to verbally pronounce the negative aspects of dirty clothes and positive sides cleanliness and neatness.
Play activities are also very important at this age - with its help the child learns about the world. The games of palms and cuckoos and the study of parts of the face are relevant. You need to start by studying them on your favorite toy, and then searching for them on your own face. Playing with toys will become more complicated: it’s time to explain to the baby that the ball can roll and the wheels of the car spin. He will be interested in receiving a musical entertainment center, toys from different materials and size. Bath toys will be of particular interest.
Period from 9 months to 1 year
Features of raising young children, especially when they are almost 1 year old, consist primarily in physical development. Babies are already starting to walk, holding onto objects or their mother’s hand, and they may be able to get up from a sitting position. Although very often, after the baby begins to crawl, he loses interest in moving on his feet. In this case, it is the parents' responsibility to encourage him to want to stand and walk. Toys that need to be held with both hands and the need to reach them from a standing position will help with this.
Closer to the age of one, children actively respond to conversations with adults. Have a positive effect on them mental development playing with other children of the same age.
Toys are becoming more complex. Folding pyramids will help you understand the difference between colors, sizes, and develop fine motor skills hands, tactile sensations. Joy is caused by unexpected discoveries, and the child begins to understand and desire surprises, as in the case of playing with nesting dolls.
The baby is already ready to perceive such words as impossible, bad and good. It is important to point out to the child those things that are prohibited, to encourage good behavior. You definitely need to teach your child to love by example. the world, animals and other children. When children fight, you need to strictly explain that this is bad and that you cannot do this. The main thing in this case is the child’s persistence and commitment to the words of adults.
Proper upbringing of children from birth is an important basis for the further development of a full-fledged member of society. Home
There is no ideal method of raising children. Kids, like adults, are different. Some are calm and thoughtful, others are active and overly curious. Still others are capricious and disobedient, while others are withdrawn and silent. Only the mother knows the character of the child, and it is she who chooses the methods and advice that work and help her develop the baby. Psychologists and teachers can only suggest what not to do in order to protect the fragile child’s psyche from injury.
Mom, don't swear
Physical punishment has long been out of fashion. Babies can be stubborn and slow, they drop or scatter something, making mom nervous and angry, but small pranks are not a reason for a spanking on the butt. Belt - beautiful accessory, which is not intended for raising children. As well as twigs, jump ropes and other torture devices.
Anger is vented at the gym or on mommy forums, where parents complain about fatigue and unruly babies. In real life conflict situations with the child they decide through conversations and civilized punishments:
- A boycott that lasts 20–30 minutes.
- A chair for thinking, from which you are forbidden to get up until the time is up.
- Deprivation of their favorite toys: dinosaurs and dolls are taken away from small children, phones and tablets from teenagers.
You cannot allow a child everything in the world and approve of him bad behavior, but they don’t recommend shouting for small mistakes. Children who are spoken to exclusively in raised voices grow up nervous and withdrawn. It is difficult for such children to get rid of low self-esteem and fear of doing something wrong.
Moms are ordinary people, not robots, so they have breakdowns. Yelled, slapped and sent to the corner? It’s not scary if the woman then cools down, calms down and asks the baby for forgiveness for her bad behavior.
I myself
Children who can walk are able to take care of themselves or even help their mother. They try to sweep, wash dishes, make the bed, eat and dress without their parents. They put their right shoe on their left foot, break a few dishes and spread trash all over the house, but no big deal. They learn to be independent, and the mother’s task is not to interfere, but to prompt and quietly help.
Children cannot be protected from household work. Did your son offer to wash the dishes after the family dinner so that mom could rest? Give him a sponge and show him where the sink is. The daughter decided to make bookshelf? Not to prohibit, but to provide with boards, nails and everything necessary.
Preschoolers are able to make the bed and put their toys away, bake pies under their mother’s guidance and walk the dog. Teenagers can earn money by delivering newspapers and helping pensioners. And it’s not scary if the child early years became independent. You need to be happy and not afraid that he won’t have a childhood.
Children who are overprotected grow up childish and lazy. They are in no hurry to look for work and move away from their parents, to achieve something in adult life. Forty-year-old men and women go to the doctor hand in hand with their mother, and remain lonely and unhappy.
Curiosity is not a vice
How does a child experience this world? Asking questions. Interested in why birds fly so high, how fish live underwater, and where he came from. Children's curiosity needs to be satisfied. Tell stories, show examples, conduct experiments and look for answers together. If mom or dad doesn't know how the plane works, it doesn't matter. They have the Internet at their fingertips, smart books and the magic phrase: “Let’s watch it together.”
You can talk to your child about any topic, even “adult” ones, but choose your words carefully. There is no need to replace the names of the genital organs with “pistils” and “bells”. But it is enough for a five-year-old child to know that children appear only to adults who have fallen in love and exchanged bodily fluids. Teenagers are recommended to talk in detail about the process of fertilization, sex and other nuances.
One of the main mistakes parents make is to brush off or react aggressively to children's questions. Gradually, the child loses interest in the world around him and understands that mom and dad will not satisfy his need for knowledge. He stops trusting adults and seeks support from peers or other people, to whom he will later come for advice if problems arise.
By talking with children, parents become closer. They turn into friends and mentors with whom you can share secrets and experiences, ask strange and exciting questions and not be afraid that you will be judged or misunderstood. Children should be curious, because this trait makes them geniuses.
Young talents
Moms once dreamed of becoming ballerinas or singers, and dads wanted to score penalties or knock down an opponent with one blow. Adults try to turn their children into models and football players if they themselves have not been able to master this profession. But children do not always share the interests of their parents. Sons want to dance, and daughters stubbornly cram chemistry and cross indoor flowers.
It is not illegal to be different. There is no need to enroll your child in violin lessons if he prefers astronomy or drawing. Children have own preferences that should be taken into account and developed. Give them colored pencils, musical instruments or karate uniforms. Encourage any endeavors and be happy if the child manages to take second or third place.
And if your child doesn’t like to draw and bang on the drum, don’t be upset. Perhaps he will become a businessman or music critic, a famous engineer, or open his own restaurant.
Golden children
Pasha has a tablet, Seryozha was bought a radio-controlled helicopter, and Masha was given gold earrings. Parents try to make their children look no worse than their neighbors and buy five year olds and expensive toys for schoolchildren. You can spoil your child, but in moderation.
The latest model computer will not make him happy. Yes, children are happy with luxurious gifts, but then they demand more and complain that their parents do not pay attention to them. Smartphones and jewelry will not make kids happy.
Parents should ask themselves, what moments from childhood do they remember? Buying a tape recorder and jeans? Or a trip to the mountains with your parents? A campfire in nature, when dad taught you how to fish and mom showed you how to cook a delicious fish soup or make a fire?
Children need impressions and the feeling of a fairy tale. Memories of how she and her parents made a snowman, received chocolates from the bunny and waited for Santa Claus. How they roasted marshmallows and slept in tents. The first time we fell out of a bicycle, and mom smeared her broken knees with brilliant green, and dad blew to keep it from getting hot.
Yes, sometimes children want to look no worse than their classmates, boast about fancy phones and trips to Egypt. But if you indulge all the whims, the child will grow up spoiled and unprepared for real life, where what you want must be earned through hard work, and not asked from mom and dad.
Socialization
You can’t confine a child within four walls. Communicating with peers or older children, he learns the rules of behavior in a team. Develops communication skills that will be useful to him in later life. Gradually gets rid of shyness and finds friends.
It is not necessary to send your child to kindergarten, because there are playgrounds and other mothers who will happily go for a walk together. You can organize holidays and invite your child’s friends, take him to sections and development centers.
The child will have to join society, where he will come into contact with bad and good people. From the age of 3-4 years, they explain to a child that he cannot be silent or just stand and cry while he is offended. It’s better to fight back against hooligans or too arrogant people who take away his toys. At the same time, they explain to the child that it is very bad to offend weak children and animals. They need protection and care. They share toys and candy with them, help them build sand castles and solve math.
Active children find it easy mutual language with strangers. To prevent trouble from happening to the baby, the mother talks about evil uncles and aunts. They deceive children and then hurt them. Smart kids never take toys or candy from strangers, but always run home or call other adults if bad guys try to drag them somewhere.
Preventive conversations will protect the baby’s life and teach him to be careful, because his mother will not be able to constantly watch him and protect him from everything in the world.
Little adults
Children are smart and quickly learn new information. They can be serious and thoughtful, they know how to plan and dream. You need to talk to a child like an adult. Ask for opinions, discuss family problems. Teach your child to be responsible for his own actions. If he wants a dog, and the parents give him a puppy, then the young owner is obliged to walk and feed the animal, bathe and clean up after the pet. Does your child need a phone? Let him collect money donated for birthdays and other holidays, save and plan his budget, and look for part-time work.
At the same time, parents cannot prohibit their children from doing something, using the argument: “You are still small.” The child is equated either with an adult and smart family member, or with a stupid and dependent one, but he also acts accordingly.
No criticism
Who do children tell about all their achievements? To parents. The child shares his dreams and demonstrates his first results, expecting to hear praise. Criticism kills children's dreams and aspirations and lowers self-esteem. If adults want to raise a talented artist or a brilliant singer, they must support and admire his first inept attempts. Carefully suggest what needs to be corrected, what needs to be learned.Some children reveal their potential even under a hail of condemnation and criticism, but there are only a few of them. The rest simply make two or three attempts, and then give up on their dream, because their mother considers it bad and unattainable.
Real hero
Kids imitate their parents, schoolchildren and teenagers copy only some character traits. In order for a child to understand what kindness and wisdom, fortitude and the desire for the best are, adults must become an example for him of all positive qualities.
Moms and dads are advised to develop and never stop. Don't sit on the couch waiting for something to happen, but move forward. Demonstrate to your children that anything in the world is possible if you really want it and work hard.
Little children are like soft clay, which in the right hands will turn into a beautiful vase. It depends on the parents what kind of child will become: confident and purposeful or frightened and infantile. Under the influence of mom and dad, his life priorities and character are formed. They, like all ordinary people, can make mistakes and experiment, but the main thing is to do it with love.
Video: how to raise a child correctly
One day a woman came to a psychologist and asked a question:
Tell me, at what age should you start raising a child?
How old is he now? – asked the psychologist.
So, you are exactly 2.5 years late.
This short but very instructive story concerns almost every mother. From our very birth, our parents dreamed of making us full-fledged individuals. And now we ourselves, being parents, are wondering how to raise a wonderful child?
There are no uniform rules in education. Every nation, culture, tribal community and individual family has its own upbringing traditions, which are invariably copied and passed on through generations. In other words, the upbringing that was put into you and me is the consequences of how our great-great-grandparents were raised. However, modern mothers are increasingly looking for progressive ways to solve the issue of raising a strong and independent personality in their child. In this regard, the question of how to properly raise a child requires careful consideration.
How not to raise children?
Let's start with negative examples. Unfortunately, all generations of parents have made one mistake or another, trying to raise a new generation by their own example. Let's look at these mistakes so we never make them.
How not to raise children:
- Remember - your child is a separate individual. Don't expect him to become the same as you, and don't demand it from him. There are plenty of examples of how parents who did not realize their life plans ruined the destinies of their own children.
- Do not take out your fatigue, resentment and irritation on your child. As a result, you risk getting a depressed person, unsure of yourself and unfulfilled in life.
- Don't laugh at your child's fears and don't scare him yourself. Forget forever phrases like: “If you behave badly, I’ll give you to that guy over there.” What adults find funny is a real tragedy for a child. To avoid raising a neurasthenic in your own home, teach your child not to be afraid and to be able to deal with fears.
- Don't stop your child from doing what he likes. Let it be a construction set, a young mechanic’s club, or something that doesn’t fit in with your ideas about what your child should be like. Do not forget that he is a separate person with his own interests, and you do not have the right to dictate your terms to him.
- Don't criticize. If, instead of supporting and strengthening self-confidence, you tear your child to smithereens with criticism and dissatisfaction, in the end you risk getting a gray personality with a huge inferiority complex.
There are a huge number of examples on the topic of “what not to do.” And it’s better if you never encounter these examples. It is much more important in the first stages of your child’s development to find the answer to the question: how to raise a child without punishment and make him a real person?
The formation of a person’s personality is a long process; it can be influenced until the person turns 23 years old. However, the foundation of all education is laid before the age of four. As a rule, everything that you managed to invest in your child before the age of four, you will eventually receive in his adulthood.
To ensure your children’s psychological health, you need to fully satisfy the children’s need to play with adults:
- Work with kids from one to 1.5 years old object games(rattles, Stuffed Toys, nesting dolls, games with a shovel in the sandbox).
- In the period from 1.5 to 3 years, role-playing games (putting the doll to sleep, feeding the mother, etc.) would be more suitable.
- Children aged 3 years and older will gladly accept role-playing games(playing in the hospital, going to the store, visiting toys, etc.).
Discipline plays a huge role in the proper upbringing of children. Here, knowledge on how to raise a child without crying will help you:
And finally, the most main secret How to raise a child correctly - every day instill in your child faith in himself. He needs your support every minute of his life. Remember the phrases: “I believe in you,” “I’m proud of you,” “You can do it,” and then, hearing them from your closest and dearest people, your child will grow up to be a strong, self-confident and purposeful person.
So how to educate happy child, what rules should mothers follow? In this article we will deal with all the complex issues of raising children and consider comments from leading psychologists.
Who is a good mom
True understanding of the concept good mom» – deposit proper education your child. Some people tend to reduce this definition to the woman who satisfies literally all the whims and desires and encourages not the best actions of her child. All these actions on the part of the mother are, to one degree or another, destructive not so much to the child as to herself: this miracle can turn into mature man or an adult woman who never want to get off mom and dad’s neck to start a new life.
What does it really mean to be a good mother? First of all, it is worth thinking about how to raise children. Attention to your baby, love, patience and respect are the key trust relationships between parents and children. After all, warm feelings do not arise from donated toys or gadgets. It is worth spending more time with your baby so that he understands how valuable and important he is to his family.
Unfortunately, the modern rhythm of life and almost round-the-clock work do not allow a mother to fully spend time with her son or daughter, or spend more than a couple of hours a day on him. Many parents believe that it is enough that they provide financially for their children - the child is well-fed, has shoes, and lives warm. However, thinking this way is far from correct. And if you are going to become a real mother, you will have to make an effort. You need to understand a very simple thing: the baby will grow up to be a happy person with an adequate assessment of the world and himself only if the mother takes care of this.
How to properly raise a child from birth: age characteristics
Raising children of one age or another is significantly different: either you demand independence from a one-year-old baby, or you coddle with an almost adult girl - and what is right? Let's take a closer look at age characteristics.
How to raise a baby up to one year: more love and affection
It is important to understand how important a mother's love is at this age. It would seem that the creature is very small, what can it be aware of? Psychologists say that up to one year little man a very significant foundation of trust is laid in the future. And not so much to the parents, but to the world around us and people in general.
Don’t worry when you become a “witch” for your baby: this will happen in any case, since this is a natural moment. When you cannot help your baby and feel completely helpless, do not scream, do not take out your anger, just resign yourself. Remember that it’s not only hard for you. The only thing you can do to help is to delay this moment as long as possible. And, of course, forgive yourself: there are no omnipotent people.
Cortisol is a hormone produced during stress to adapt to changed conditions; it is very harmful to infants. Therefore, the only possible upbringing strategy at this age is to simply love your child and protect him from various diseases.
How to raise children from one to three years old: do not give in to provocations
A child’s behavior at this age changes somewhat: many people think that he is trying to do everything to please his parents. Very often the child is capricious, breaks things, demands, and throws tantrums. And here many parents commit main mistake: they are trying to literally hammer into this little person what cannot be done and what can be done.
Another important building block in a child’s mental health is the will, which is formed at this age. It is important not to completely suppress the initiative of a small person - this promotes his independence in decision-making. That's why the right decision at this age will allow him to express himself, but within the framework of such control that the child would never have guessed about. Don’t be fooled by his tantrums, but don’t spank him in the event of another scene. Observe and remain calm.
How to properly raise children from three to five: we protect, but do not interfere with development
At this age, children develop communication skills: they need to communicate not only with their parents, but also with their peers. Therefore, you should make sure that your son or daughter has a small group of friends; this can also be organized by sending your child to a kindergarten or nursery.
Remember that it is peers who will help you learn to obey the concept of “no”: various games introduce rules, the violation of which excludes the child from the action. Such roles will help your child learn to comply with the norms by which the whole society lives.
Your important task at this stage of development is to instill communication skills so that the baby can understand and accept social rules and norms. And he must learn the latter on his own: it is very difficult to impose this little man.
How to properly raise a schoolchild: simple psychology and affection
This section is very important, as it touches on aspects of parenting and a teenager, which is often enough to cope with. And if for the first 6-7 grades this miracle follows all your advice, rejoices at every excellent grade, then a sudden change in mood and habits should not frighten parents - although it does frighten very often. The child grows up and tries to understand what the real world is and how to survive in it.
The gap between generations is more visible in high school. Hormones and puberty also leave their mark on behavior: an easy-going child can become angry at the whole world. Every parent wants the best for their child, but remember that the more you insist, the stronger the opposition you will receive. Therefore, it is important to be calm about the decisions of your son or daughter - let them make mistakes, they need to gain experience and understand how important it is to listen to the opinions of their parents.
Let us turn to the advice of experts who have studied the issue of raising children for many decades. They have developed a certain structure of communication with the child, which allows them to most effectively resolve most conflicts without devaluing the feelings of both parties.
How to raise a happy child without yelling and punishment: mutual respect
If you want your child to love and respect you, treat him the same way. Many psychologists argue that the foundations of future self-esteem are laid in childhood. How can a person who has been overlooked and devalued for many years discover his talents and become an outstanding person?
On top of everything else, if a person was “disliked” in childhood, then he can compensate for this himself by becoming a cynic and an egoist. This person is capable of destroying many other people's lives before he realizes how deeply his parents hurt him in childhood - this could be revenge on all people on a subconscious level.
Remember that if a child feels valuable and special, then he will treat other people, and especially his parents, the same way. In this matter, the main thing is to know when to stop.
How to show respect for a child? It's simple: when he asks for help, don't refuse, but put things aside and help him finish the airplane model. Or politely ask to wait until the weekend. Children remember everything: and especially your manifestation of love for them. Reading a bedtime story, helping with a complex trigonometric equation, or chatting about the guy sitting at the next desk - any adequate attention is regarded as important to the existence of this little one as a member of the family.
Words can hurt, but they can also give a lot. warm feelings: especially words of love. And it is the affection of parents that is the key to proper upbringing of children. But how can you not spoil them? How to express your love correctly? In everything you should adhere to moderation.
Remember that your love is the basis for building self-confidence. It develops the ability to set goals and achieve them. How to express your love? These don’t always have to be words, they can also be gestures: a pat on the head, a kiss on the forehead, a hug just like that.
We have already touched on the topic when parents believed that supporting their baby financially is the most important thing. However, more important than this is time, which is placed above money. Yes, you can keep him busy with various clubs and sections so that the child comes home and immediately goes to bed. However, a comprehensive education can never replace what parents provide when spending time with their child.
IN adolescence this problem can worsen: if you don’t communicate, the gap between you and your baby will only grow. In this case, psychology gives the following answer to the question of how to raise a child: the foundations should be laid in childhood.
Among other things, the parents themselves become an example for children in relationships: they almost completely copy the behavior of their mothers and fathers, almost repeating the same words and expressions.
How to raise children: whether to give freedom
If you overprotect your baby, controlling his every step, then you can raise a dependent person who will do nothing but live at your expense and constantly ask your permission with or without it.
Don’t be afraid to give your child freedom: this is how he learns from mistakes, gaining irreplaceable experience. It is freedom that can give your little person ambitions to solve impossible problems.
It also happens that mothers, being too carried away by the care of their already adult child, forgot about their own husbands. This is one of important aspects the issue being covered. When raising children, it is important not to forget about the family and its traditions and values - after all, marriage is a union of a couple of people, loving friend friend and capable of raising a worthy personality.
How to properly form a child: the most important advice from a psychologist
Every parent is a role model. For him, you are a whole indestructible world, the decisions of which should not be questioned. And that's why. Suppose you forbade your child from walking on the playground today. And the next day you abruptly change your ban, without justifying it in any way. The child may think that you can be manipulated - and with his screams or tears he can change the parent’s decision.
Remember that it is important to adhere to the line you have chosen in order to build the authority of mom or dad in the eyes of the little person.
Having considered how to raise small children and teenage schoolchildren, having learned the basic advice of a psychologist, we can draw a very simple conclusion: it is enough to love, appreciate, respect the child, and spend as much time with him as possible.
