Raising a 4 year old child. Advice from a psychologist to parents of five-year-olds. Patience is the key to success

It is usually suggested to a man to raise a son in the saying; “Build a house, plant a tree and raise a son.” However, men do not always take or can take part in raising a boy, especially when he is 2, 3, 4, 5 years old. Psychologists say that the upbringing of future men is initially done by mothers, who spend all their time with their children in the first years of their lives.

Every mother wants to raise a healthy, happy and successful person. But since the approaches to raising boys and girls are different, we have to consider separately how mothers should develop their babies, depending on their gender.

Boys and girls are future men and women. True representatives of their gender are not born, but become. The site will tell you how to educate what to develop in a boy so that in the future he becomes a real support for his parents and future family psychological assistance website.

How to raise a boy without a father?

It is a misconception that only a father can raise a real man. What really matters is the quality of parenting, not who is doing it. Single mothers do not always raise their sons to be weaklings and losers. However, boys are quite detrimentally influenced by alcoholic fathers, tyrants, parasites, etc. Psychologists do not see the connection between what gender a parent should be in order to raise a son to be a real man. However, the importance of approaches in education is noted.

Not every woman can guarantee her unborn child that his father will remain by their side. There are frequent cases when future fathers leave women, leaving them in interesting position. How then to raise a boy to be a real man? Naturally, before the eyes of the son there should be a living example of a man whom he will look up to. If that example is not the father, then he must be found. It could be a neighbor, a grandfather, a friend, another man, etc. If the son and the other man establish a good bond with each other, then the boy will try to be like him.

You can send your son to the “men’s” section or to a place where there will be a lot of men. This also compensates for the lack of a father.

• Don't try to replace a father who is not with his son. It is better to cultivate independence in him from childhood. If he doesn't succeed the first time, let him try again after analyzing the errors.
• Don't scold, don't babysit, don't encourage the boy's whims. Don't treat him like a pathetic creature who was deprived of his father's attention.
• The son should be praised with the same words that apply to men (protector, breadwinner, etc.).
• You should put yourself in the role of " weak woman"so that the son fulfills roles and responsibilities where he shows strength (like a real man).

How to raise a boy correctly?

From birth, future men develop qualities that they will later use in adulthood. It depends on the parents (or parent) what these qualities will be and how “courageous” they will be.

To properly raise a boy, psychologists recommend:

1. Give some freedom to my son. He must feel the space of choice and gradually understand that his actions have consequences, for which he is also responsible.
2. Give your son freedom of choice. Let him make his own decisions on some important issues.
3. Give your son both affection and coldness. Usually boys are raised in harsh conditions where they are not supposed to cry or give in to emotions. However, this often leads to deviations in behavior and character that are characteristic of unhealthy individuals. In the future, someone begins to abuse alcohol, someone indulges in drugs, someone turns into a gigolo, etc. All forms of unhealthy personality are a consequence of the fact that boys were not allowed to experience and show emotions, as girls are allowed to do. But emotions are a natural reaction of the psyche that must express itself.

How to raise a 2 year old boy?

The age of two is considered the period when children begin to understand that they are different from children of the opposite sex. Boys realize that they are somehow different from girls, and therefore their upbringing begins to change from the age of two.

• Firstly, the baby should not be beaten or severely punished, as this can cause distrust of the world and a feeling of dislike for oneself.
• Secondly, the baby begins to improve his physical skills. The boy should not be prohibited from jumping and running, getting bumps and bruises.
• Thirdly, do not punish your son for taking the initiative. Children are already gradually wanting to do adult things, helping their parents around the house. Encourage their desire so as not to grow them into incompetents.
• Fourth, set limits. Gradually, the child should be taught the word “impossible”, showing that some words and actions are prohibited and may lead to unpleasant consequences.
• Fifth, allow your child to develop at his own pace. If he is somehow different from other boys, this does not mean that you need to sound the alarm or compare him with them. Let your baby grow to the point where he learns something.

My son's main activity is playing. It is in a playful way that you show him the world, teach him the skills and rules that are inherent to his gender.

How to raise a 3 year old boy?

The age of three is already marked by a greater understanding of the child about who he is. To raise a future man, you need to tell your son that he is a boy and that is good. Let him value himself as a man. Praise him like a boy, like a representative of the stronger sex: “You are brave... You are strong... You are brave...”.

For a three-year-old son, the father (or the man who represents a representative of his gender) becomes important. Since the son is a man, he must learn to be a man from a member of that sex. This is why fathers should take an active part in their sons' lives as early as three years old in order to otherwise the boy did not reach out and look up to his mother.

At this age, your son should be given free space. This can be either a corner in the room where everything is controlled exclusively by the baby, or space in movements and choices. The son must gradually acquire his own territory in every sense of the word.

Parents should be calm about the following things:

• The child begins to say “I myself.” Gradually the son begins to separate from his mother. This should be encouraged as the boy begins to become his own person. He should be helped with this.
• The child is somehow different from other children. If your son is hyperactive, speaks little or is a poor learner, you should not punish him for this. Love him for who he is and help him adjust his skills or character.

How to raise a 4 year old boy?

Despite the fact that the boy has reached the age of 4 and is trying to be independent, he continues to remain a child who needs the love of his parents.

Therefore, the first thing adults need to do is love their son.

1. Punish no more than praise. Otherwise, low self-esteem or aggressive behavior may develop.
2. Allow the baby to show emotions. He is still a child who vividly experiences all his inner experiences. They should be allowed to show, even though men don’t cry.”
3. Expand the baby's free space. Let his circle of responsibilities become larger, as well as his range of entertainment.
4. Continue to develop a positive attitude towards the gender of the baby. This should be done in such a way that there is no neglect opposite sex. Both genders are important and the child should be taught this.

How to raise a 5 year old boy?

The age of five is the final period when a boy begins to understand who a man is. He increasingly begins to copy the habits of men, treating girls lovingly. The son begins to relate especially interestingly to his own mother, whom he begins to love and even wants to marry.

At this age you should continue to develop masculine qualities in the baby. This is done by increasing free space, assigning more and more responsibilities, allowing you to do more and more things, making decisions on your own on more and more issues. Toys should be “masculine”; it is advisable for the father or the child’s friends to play with them.

The boy will soon go to school, so he should be prepared for this period both intellectually and psychologically.

Already at this age, boys can begin to be told how to treat girls, what kind of relationships to build with them, how they differ from boys, etc.

How to raise a teenage boy?

The most difficult period in raising a future man is adolescence. The previously sweet baby no longer obeys his parents, whom he perceives as an obstacle to his happiness. Now he obeys the opinions of his friends more than his mom and dad.

Gradually, obedient, cheerful, sweet boys turn into aggressive, unfriendly rebels. However, we should not forget that even during adolescence, you should raise your children, making them future men.

In order to avoid the problems that are often seen in families with teenagers, fathers should take an active part in upbringing. Mothers should take a back seat, since an aggressive boy can only be dealt with by an aggressive father, a representative of his gender, who will teach him the real state of affairs.

Bottom line

Raising a boy is not as easy as it seems. If in early age While boys are obedient, in adolescence they become uncontrollable. It is good if both parents participate in upbringing. However, a mother (or father) can cope with a child on her own, if you don’t forget about one thing - you are raising a future man, so treat him accordingly.

Mothers should remember that they are raising future men. This means that some manifestations should not be expressed in relation to sons. What is good in raising a girl may not be necessary in raising a boy. You should keep a picture of what kind of man you are raising so that you understand how to do this while he is small and pliable.

In this article:

At the age of four, children become more understanding, compliant, softer, their feelings become deeper, and their thoughts become more complex. Children at this age exhibit stable sympathies and, accordingly, antipathies.

They value the attention and love of their parents and people close to them. However, not every parent can notice all this. Therefore, you should take an interest in the topic of toddler development in information sources. We propose to talk right now about raising children 4-5 years old.

Children's initiatives

Children try very hard to be “good”, and at the age of 4-5 years it is especially important to use and consolidate these efforts so that they turn into the habit of doing good. It is very important during this period to teach children to do good deeds correctly, that is
consulting with parents. This is necessary so that children’s initiatives evoke positive emotions in the people around them, and therefore are joyful for the child himself.

It’s bad when a child, in his opinion, did something good, but his parents scold him for it. If such situations are repeated often, you can completely discourage children from helping or pleasing their neighbors. In order to support and develop in children the desire to care and do good, parents need to unobtrusively advise, correctly direct their initiatives, tell children different stories with the correct and instructive examples. And to do this, you need to communicate with your own child, find time for walks and conversations together, and enjoy the company of a little person with a rich inner world and unlimited possibilities. After all, you haven’t yet limited them with your categorical attitude and prohibitions?

Let's be patient

How else does the psychology of a 4-5 year old child differ from the psychology of younger children? What advice can experts give to parents on raising their children to help raise people who are healthy both mentally and physically? In addition to love and wisdom, for this
It will take a lot of patience! This is the key quality that mothers and fathers need in raising children.

First of all, patience will be needed with regard to falling asleep in babies of the fourth year of life, or rather, their reluctance to fall asleep alone. The fact is that at this age children develop a heightened sense of love for their parents. They want to be close to their mother, play near her or within walking distance of her, even if she is not currently interacting with them.

Try leaving the room where your child is, even if he is busy and doesn't seem to be paying any attention to you. The little one will immediately leave the game and go looking for you. For this reason, children 4-5 years old begin to be afraid of the dark. And if you don’t want to put your beloved child’s nervous system at risk and don’t want to turn fear into a disease, don’t leave him until he falls asleep. And if a child wakes up in the middle of the night and cries or comes to you, do not scold, but calm him down and take him to your bed or take him back to the nursery and wait until the child falls asleep. The children's room is the baby's world. Try to make it as safe and attractive as possible.

Remember: this will not always be the case, this period will end. Your favorite little one will grow up and will no longer be afraid of the dark. All that is needed is to show patience, love, understanding and help to get through this difficult period of life.

Want to know everything

How else is the psychology of children aged 4-5 years different? Active development of the sphere of knowledge. This fact must be used as fully as possible for the development of thinking. Right now, kids ask a lot of questions about the objects and phenomena around them. In their minds, cause-and-effect relationships begin to appear and develop, which should guide correctly and on time. So hurry up to answer all the questions as accurately and completely as possible. Don’t brush off your “why.”

Children learn to make inferences about the various positive and negative behaviors they observe in their environment. This is the period when mom and dad can become “life teachers” for the child, unless, of course, they redirect their beloved child to a grandmother or grandfather, aunt or uncle, and even sadder - if to the street.

Children of the fourth and fifth year of life ask a lot of questions. Sometimes they ask the same question several times a day. Don't get tired of answering your children. Your long-suffering, coupled with love, will develop in your child the corresponding qualities of character that will return to you in multiplied form, when you will ask him the same questions several times, but much later.

Questions that the little one repeats over and over again, and the convincing answers he receives to them, will allow him to better understand and assimilate what he heard. Answers must be given truthfully and comprehensively. If you don’t know for sure what the baby is asking you about, don’t be afraid to admit it and promise that you will definitely look for the answer to his question in books or ask knowledgeable people, and then you will definitely tell him.

Self-awareness in society

Raising a 4-5 year old child is a very important and responsible period of life for parents and for the child himself. Child psychology focuses on great attention this stage of personality development, primarily because it is at this age that children begin to realize their social position in this world. They understand that they are not the center of the universe and their desires are not a priority. For the first time, they are faced with thoughts about the need to give in, to sacrifice their well-being for the sake of their neighbor.

At this age, children actively begin to develop such important character qualities as kindness and sensitivity, responsiveness and generosity, a sense of friendship and a sense of duty. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to developing an adequate attitude towards society and the world around us. An optimistic perception of life is characteristic of this period of children's lives. In an increasingly complex environment, it must be supported
him and teach the baby in any difficult situations look for exits. In this way, it is possible to lay the foundations for an individual who is socially resistant to all sorts of troubles in society.

It’s good to tell your little one about the rules of behavior in society, in children’s groups, in kindergarten, in the family, on a walk in the yard, at a party, in in public places, in transport. But it’s even better if you back up your words with personal example: children absorb it much faster than words.

At this time the child is very pliable, he can be good student Therefore, he can be quickly taught to give up his seat in transport to older people, patiently wait his turn in games or in a store with his mother, share toys or delicious food, defend his interests and listen to the wishes of his neighbor.

How to become a friend to your child

Raising friendliness in a 4-5 year old child is not a difficult task, because children are very inclined to be friends. With everyone. Especially with parents. Their psychology allows them to happily listen to the advice of their elders and try to follow them. It is important to use this period of life to lay the foundations for a long-term friendship with your baby. Remember that friends do not frighten, but love, so try to instruct your child through love. Even if the baby does not obey you, he should still feel that he is dearly loved by his parents, regardless of his behavior and how old he is. Do not allow irritation in your conversation with him. Carlson's advice is very appropriate in this regard: “Calm! Just calm!” This is the only way to lay the foundation of a child’s trust in his parents.

There is no need to go to the other extreme, trying
fulfill all the children's wishes. This way you can turn your child into a little tyrant. If mom and dad for some reason cannot fulfill the child’s wishes, then they must try to explain to him exactly why: they are busy, or do not have enough finances, or believe that fulfilling his request will not bring him any benefit or will harm others. Children at this age are already able to understand explanations, so do not be lazy to explain your actions and actions.

Remember: children learn to understand everything that adults do. And the formation of the child’s correct thinking depends on how skillfully the refusal is explained to the child. Be sure to show the baby the best way out or a replacement for his desire. And when the child agrees to give in, be sure to praise him. But don’t always try to insist on your own. Whenever possible, fulfill your baby's request or desire even in excess - this way you will teach him to make surprises and give love to other people.

Seven methods of cooperation with a child according to John Gray for parents

Love, appreciate and understand your child. After all, you were already children, and they were not adults yet. That is, they do not have your experience. Let them acquire it as they grow up, and not from your words, and even at 4 or 5 years old. This is an unbearable burden for a child.

The grown-up baby has become so inquisitive, endlessly asks various questions, is interested in the world around him and, like a sponge, absorbs everything he sees and hears at home. That is why the importance of parental actions and words cannot be underestimated, because the child understands everything perfectly. Moreover, one day a word spoken by chance can be imprinted on the baby’s mind for a long time, and his behavior can change dramatically not in the slightest. better side. Let's discuss.

How to raise a child at 4 years old

First of all, you should understand that the baby has grown up and has long had the right to his own opinion. You should not constantly tell your child what to do and how to do it: there is a risk of receiving negative feedback. Even if you are sure that you know what is best, allow your son or daughter to express their point of view or do what they think is right (of course, if this does not threaten their safety). This is how you send a signal that you trust them, respect them, and perceive them as equals. Subsequently, you will understand that in this way you are instilling in your child independence and responsibility for his actions. By the way, children are very sensitive to the position of being looked down upon, and they try with all their might to change the situation

How to behave correctly with a 4 year old child

• don’t be shy to show that you love him and accept him no matter what. Unconditional acceptance means no judgments like “I will love you if you are obedient/good/help me, etc.” Love is an independent feeling and should not be based on receiving something in return. By broadcasting this behavior, you show your child that he must earn your love, and his self-esteem and self-confidence drop;
• Give freedom of choice to your baby, gradually expanding the boundaries of his capabilities. According to the discovery of L.S. Vygotsky, this expansion occurs due to the initial interaction with an adult who shows how it should be (“zone of proximal development”). Gradually transfer the leading role to the baby, and very soon he will cope with the new task on his own;
• do not forget to ask your child’s opinion on issues to which he is directly related. Ask what he wants for breakfast, what clothes he plans to wear for a walk, what he wants to do. At the same time, offer a choice yourself, so it will be easier for him to navigate his desires;
• Praise for every good deed or intention. Don’t be afraid to spoil the baby, he so needs your approval to strengthen his own self;
• arrange joint games and in the process pass on new knowledge and skills to the child;
• if a misbehavior occurs, condemn it, and not the child himself (“I’m so upset that you don’t want to put away your toys, you’re usually so neat”);
• Compare your children only to themselves, but at an earlier age. Refrain from criticizing and comparing with others, this does not contribute to the formation of positive self-esteem;
• hug, kiss and do not refuse affection, especially when the baby asks for it. This is how he makes sure that he is safe, loved and good.

How to get a four year old to obey?

Parents often ask this question, and here are some tips:

• approach the child;
• sit down next to you or take your baby in your arms. Don't be condescending or you won't get the contact you want;
• touch the child: put your hand on the shoulder, stroke the head. This will be a kind of signal that it’s time to take a break from your affairs and listen to mom or dad;
• Now the child is ready to listen, you can say your request. Do it something like this: “I see you are very busy, you are so interested in playing! But it's time for lunch, let's take a break for a while. I understand that you want to continue the game. You’ll definitely come back to her after lunch, and I can keep you company if you want.” The key phrase is “I understand you.” The child should feel that you are on his side and know what he is experiencing. This technique endears you and builds trust.

If you regularly cannot find mutual language With your child, it may be worth working on parental authority. This means that your words and actions should not contradict each other and cause doubts in the child. You are the best guide and example for your baby.

How to raise a four year old boy

Special attention should be paid to the issue of raising 4-year-old boys. At this time, the father occupies an important place in their lives. It is he who introduces his son to male role and shows how to behave in society. In order for a little boy to develop harmoniously, dad should regularly spend time with him. Find a common hobby, go for walks just the two of you, teach your child the real men's affairs(fix something, build something, start something role-playing games and boldly defend the weak). Even with minimal but systematic male communication, the problem of how to raise a boy at 4 years old will not arise.

Daily routine for a 4 year old child

The daily routine largely depends on whether the baby goes to kindergarten. If yes, then everything is clear and clear here. Let's look at an example of the correct daily routine for a 4-year-old child at home:

• 7-8 am - baby wakes up, gets dressed and goes to wash
• 9:00 - breakfast
• until 11:00 - games
• from 11 to 13 o'clock - walk
• 13:30 - lunch
• 14-15:30 - afternoon nap
• 16:00 - afternoon tea
• until 19:00 - games
• 19:00 - dinner
• until 20:00 - games
• 20-21 - evening rituals (bath procedures, quiet games, reading a book, light snack)
• 21:30 - good night, kids!

Naturally, in each family the question of how to accustom a four-year-old child to a routine is decided individually, and the time of classes may vary, but a clear schedule is required. This way the child feels calm and confident because he knows what awaits him at one point or another of the day.
We hope our recommendations will help you in raising a happy and cheerful baby!

Much has been written and said about the three-year crisis, yet it takes many parents by surprise. Psychologists deservedly call it the most important stage in the formation of personality, along with adolescence. When raising a 3-4 year old child, psychology gives advice designed to help family members overcome this difficult period, they are presented in this article.

Development of the nervous system and motor skills

By the age of three, a child's brain is already developed enough to make several movements at the same time and coordinate the work of the body. This is the greatest achievement of a three-year-old child. He begins to master the skills various activities, and what he learns now will stay with him for the rest of his life. Both large and fine motor skills. You can and should gradually involve him in household chores, send him to a baby development group or kindergarten.

Awareness of one’s “I” and the beginning of personality formation

The body and psyche are actively developing during this period: speech, playing skills, and communication with other people are being formed. The most important mental process of this period is the formation of one’s own “I”. The main reason for the crisis is that there is a qualitative leap in development, the formation of an independent personality.

The previous model of behavior of the mother and father ceases to satisfy the little man; now he wants to be treated in a new way, and defends his “I” before others. The extent to which loved ones show wisdom and patience during this period determines what their pupil will become in the future.

Changes in behavior

Typically this stage of life lasts from several months to two years. A sign of an approaching crisis is recognizing oneself in the mirror: if earlier the little one spoke about himself in the third person, calling him by name - for example, “This is Sasha,” now he says: “This is Me!” The main symptoms that the crisis has already begun:

• negativism;
• stubbornness and obstinacy;
• self-will;
• autocratic behavior;
• devaluation of adults;
• hysterics.

The main phrase at this time is “I myself.”

Difficulties in education

Drastic changes in character

Parents are often shocked when their baby, who has been so obedient until now, suddenly begins to behave in a sharply negative manner. Tastes change, and those toys and activities that were previously liked become unloved, the little rebel contradicts his elders, sometimes as if he does it on purpose out of spite, or it’s the other way around. For example, he doesn’t go for a walk, even if he wants to. He gets angry, capricious, and sometimes behaves badly in public.

Hysteria, manipulation

Probably everyone has seen a similar scene: a toddler falls to the floor in mall and begins to scream loudly, demand to buy something, and becomes hysterical. Parents are often lost, and if those around them also insert judgmental remarks, then an unbearable feeling of shame forces them to follow the child’s lead. This behavior can take hold: a 3-4-year-old baby becomes a manipulator who twists his family as he wants, feeling his impunity and power.

Suppression of natural activity

But there is another extreme: when the father and mother “defeated” their offspring, he becomes quiet, obedient, fearful and completely lacking initiative. Any natural manifestation is followed by an angry shout: “Where did you go?” "Don't run!" "Do not touch!" In the end, the baby stops trying to do something and decides that it is better to sit quietly and not poke his head out. After all, he really needs his mother’s and father’s love, and being bad in the eyes of his family, he will not be able to get it. This is how learned helplessness is formed.

Contradictory upbringing during this period, for example, the combination of a controlling mother and a father who allows everything, has a negative impact on the formation of personality. The little person begins to understand that adults themselves do not know how to cope with him, and the rules of behavior are not the same for different people. Therefore, he adapts to seek protection from one of his relatives from the other. It often happens like this: the baby went to his grandparents, got “spoiled” there, then the parents just can’t teach him to be obedient again, and such educational “swings” are repeated time after time.

Fear of losing loved ones

It happens that a father and mother drag their son or daughter into their marital conflict and force them to take sides, which is extremely painful for the child, because they have to take on a responsibility that is beyond their strength for a small person. Such a child, out of fear of losing his mom or dad, tries to be good and fulfill all the requirements, but in fact he is in constant anxiety or, on the contrary, with his whims, deliberately bad behavior unknowingly forces his family to rally around him.

You need to know that parental divorce at this age is extremely destructive for the child’s psyche. If the baby feels that his mother and father do not love each other, but stay together for his sake, he experiences an unconscious but deep feeling of guilt. Children at this age understand much more than is commonly thought, and any imbalance in the family system is reflected in the child’s behavior.

Ways to get out of the crisis safely

Time for internal change

First of all, mother and father need to understand that what is happening to their child now is a completely normal part of his natural development. This does not depend on whether the child is raised correctly or incorrectly, or what kind of mother and father he has. In addition, sometimes a crisis passes very quickly and unnoticed, this is also a variant of the norm. But usually this stage passes rapidly, and at this time very important things happen in the child’s psyche:

• speech development;
• socialization;
• development of will and independence;
• formation of a basic sense of security;
• creative development;
• imitation of elders.

Speech development: little why

A three-year-old already knows up to 1,500 words and learns something new every day; a description of the surrounding picture of the world is actively formed in his mind. That is why he asks so many questions and trains his speech skills in communicating with his family. “Why does the bird fly and not fall?” “Where does the rain come from?” – such questions often baffle adults. It is necessary to answer as truthfully as possible, not to laugh it off, because the baby takes everything literally. If the answer is unknown, then you need to be honest about it, but promise to find out.

At this age, the so-called “language window” opens: if a child grows up in an interethnic family, he can easily master several languages. But don't get too carried away early development, everything should happen naturally. The main activity at this age is play, and overwork leads to loss of interest.

Socialization: what is good and what is bad

At three years old small man finds and tests the strength of the boundaries between himself and others, learns to understand what is possible and what is not. This is a subtle point that should not be missed: the child must learn that in the adult world there are certain rules, that others also have needs, and learn to sympathize. Gradually, an understanding should come that he is not the center of the universe, but occupies a certain place in it, along with others.

Manifestation of will: first independent victories

During this period, the baby often says: “I do it myself!”, tries to do something, still ineptly, slowly. It can be unbearable for adults to watch these awkward movements; they so want to quickly do everything themselves in order to quickly go about their business. But you need to give the baby a chance to prove himself, to feel proud of his small victory. In this way, self-esteem is formed, and an understanding of one’s capabilities occurs, independence is developed, which is important for later life.

Self-service: cleanliness and neatness

A three-year-old child should already have mastered hygiene skills: washing hands, eating neatly, sitting on the potty himself, brushing his teeth, getting dressed with a little help from an adult. He explores the world, acquiring skills, and can accidentally or intentionally break things. One should not be scolded for this - after all, he does not do this out of malice, but only wants to understand how everything works.

Basic Sense of Security: Unconditional Love

For a three-year-old, contact with mom and dad is very important; he must know that they love him not for something, but just like that, and they will not stop loving him if he suddenly makes a mistake. He needs to feel needed and important. If you do not pay attention to the baby during this period, he may begin to act up and thus get what is missing.

It is important to be consistent in upbringing, not to punish your child just like that, because of your bad mood, be sure to reward for success and patiently explain what is and is not possible, and why. Too many prohibitions create anxiety and resistance in a child, but he must clearly understand those prohibitions, the violation of which is associated with danger to life and health.

Important: in no case should you punish before meals or bedtime, when the baby is in pain or physically ill - basic needs must be strictly observed.

Creativity: time for funny drawings

A three-year-old child draws “cephalopods” - strange creatures with a large head and string-like legs, and can enthusiastically depict “scribbles” or colored stains on paper. This is how fine motor skills develop and familiarity with by different means creative self-expression, while active development of the brain occurs, the establishment of new neural connections, which will be very important when the child will go to school. The main thing is not to destroy these shoots of creativity in the bud; children's work should be praised, but in moderation, and efforts to do better should be encouraged.

Important: you cannot laugh or judge what the baby has done with his own hands. In early childhood, everyone willingly draws, but later many stop doing it precisely because of the fear of criticism.

Imitation: the game of adulthood

At this age, gender differences are not yet realized, and it is too early to instill in a child the idea of ​​a female or male role in society. A boy or girl strives to imitate their parents and take their example in everything - they can play adult life and in the profession, imitate the actions of significant elders. For example, loading a dump truck with cubes and building a house, transporting dolls in a toy car to the country, treating, feeding, and so on.

Toys during this period should be as close to reality as possible. The child, of course, understands that this is all make-believe, so he acts out role-playing scenes from life, creating his own little world - a semblance of an adult. Parents can guide and suggest the plots of games, thus participating in the life of their child.

Reminder for difficult situations

In order not to get lost in a critical situation, you need to keep in mind the following useful tips: what you definitely shouldn’t do, and what, on the contrary, will help you achieve success.

Way out of the crisis

Lead by positive example

Thus, having gone through a crisis, all family members should take away the main thing from it: the child - a sense of himself as a separate, individual person and self-respect, interest in learning about the world and independence, adults - the ability to negotiate and maintain the child’s trust, adequate boundaries of what is permitted and emotional contact.

And the main thing is to always remember that children copy their parents in many ways. Therefore, you need to educate yourself and set a good example for them. Then you can not focus on parenting, but simply love your children.

A psychologist will help you cope

But if, despite all your efforts, you cannot cope with the problems, or you intuitively feel as if something is going wrong, there is no need to postpone your visit to the child’s or family psychologist. The second is preferable, because children’s problems usually only reflect the difficulties of the entire family as a system. An experienced specialist will help identify the causes and overcome disagreements. Perhaps not immediately, but after several sessions of fruitful work, the skills of new, more effective behavior will be developed.

Alena is a regular expert on the PupsFull portal. She writes articles about psychology, education and learning and games for children.

Articles written

What do you know about your child, about his individual characteristics in this age. Knowledge of a child’s psychology is very important, as it helps not to make certain mistakes in parenting. It is important to know and understand what is available to a child at this age and what is not. With the help of psychology, you can correct your baby's behavior. Also give him the information and the amount of material that he is able to learn at 4 years old.

Four years is the time when many mothers take their child to a child psychologist for the first time. Something appears in behavior and character that makes parents worry. Sometimes pessimistic moods appear; a child may say that no one needs him, that he is bad, that no one loves him. All of these are manifestations of adolescence, when early childhood gives way to a more conscious childhood. In most cases, the provocateurs of such unhappy thoughts are, paradoxically, the parents themselves, and for some reason they leave the problem to psychologists. The fact is that the child’s psyche is now extremely vulnerable. He is capable of experiencing emotions such as resentment, disappointment, shame, sadness - something that was previously unfamiliar to him due to the fact that the main engine of development was instincts, not consciousness. Lack of praise is perceived very acutely.

Watch yourself. Perhaps you, taking advantage of the fact that the baby has grown up and no longer requires tireless attention, have stopped giving him any attention at all. The child is busy - and that’s good. You can spend time on your own business. IN best case scenario You can expect the person on duty to say “Well done! Now go play.” Here's your answer. Now, when a child’s behavior is based mainly on imitation of an adult, joint activities are more important than ever. The child should have his own part of responsibility in the common task, and do not skimp on praise if he managed to cope with the task. But if it doesn’t work, look at the situation. If you tried, but didn’t succeed, praise anyway. If you are simply lazy or careless about the matter, scold him - strictly, but without shouting. But under no circumstances be indifferent.

How does a four year old child play?

At this age, children often play together, and their interest in role-playing games continues: they can play “kindergarten”, “doctor”, “drivers”, “shop” and “family”.

Both girls and boys play “family” with pleasure - they change dolls’ clothes, put them to bed, roll them in a stroller and feed them, preparing dinners from scrap materials.

What does a child learn at four years old?

We study letters: start with those that are easy to pronounce (“a”, “o” and so on), and end with those that are difficult to pronounce “ch”, “f”, “sch”. Letters can be drawn, made from plasticine (and played with), from dough, cotton wool, or made from cereals and beans. Use this period - between the fourth and fifth years, the child remembers very well what is offered to him, but what is best remembered is what is interesting to him.

That's why game uniform will the best option to study anything - poems, songs or foreign words. Do not forget to explain to your child what is happening in the poem - he must understand what he is talking about. This is how semantic memory is formed.

How does a four year old child behave?

Thanks to the fact that the child communicates a lot with his peers and plays with them, a group of children develops their own world, their own secrets, which they may not share with adults. However, communication with adults is very intense - a 4-year-old child can ask about 400 questions in a day. At this age, the baby also develops an increased interest in himself - what kind of person he can grow up to become. There is no need to suppress the child’s activity in asking questions: take time to find answers, which may not be very detailed - at first, an inquisitive child will be satisfied with brief ones.

How does a four-year-old child develop speech?

The baby's speech is already sufficiently developed to be well understood by strangers. If a large number of sounds are pronounced incorrectly, then you should contact a speech therapist. At this time, the child begins to actively use in his speech the words that he heard from adults.

One kid will say something like “incredible,” another will say an obscene word. The child, as a rule, does not understand the meaning of these unfamiliar words, so there is no need to immediately scold or admire him - it all depends on the environment.

Cognitive processes in children

Speech becomes more complicated by including large quantity adjectives, adverbs.

In the process of perception, the child relies on sensory standards (round, square, triangular) and is able to compare objects by size.

Memory and attention are still involuntary.

Visual-figurative thinking - can compare objects, see hidden connections without manipulation or special actions with them.

Imagination begins to actively develop: objects in the game are used in a symbolic form, they represent someone or something, they replace them; the child learns to separate the “real I” and the “I” as a play role.”