Dad caring for baby
Sooner or later the moment comes when mom needs to go away on her own business, and dad and baby are left alone for a while. What kind of knowledge and skills might a dad need in such an important matter?!
Newborn children look so small and defenseless that many young fathers are afraid to take them in their arms, preferring to wait until the time when the children have grown up and become stronger. But still, the sooner dad begins to take part in caring for his child, the better.
This will facilitate the faster establishment of psychological contact between father and child and provides the parent with very useful and necessary skills. After all, to raise a child, you need to be able to do a lot.
Fatherly duty
Perhaps you like loving husband, eagerly stroke the diapers, help your wife bathe the child, but you just can’t decide to be alone with him. Believe me, this does not give you the right to prohibit your wife from leaving home for her own needs.
It is very important to know that after a certain time after pregnancy, every woman should visit a gynecologist. If the birth was natural and nothing bothers the mother, then a visit to the doctor is scheduled after 6 weeks. If the woman had a cesarean section, then a visit to the doctor is scheduled earlier.
Under no circumstances should such visits to the doctor be postponed. They must be timely in order to avoid possible problems with reproductive function.
As a rule, dad's role as a nanny coincides with mom's doctor's visit. This is a very important moment, because the baby is still very small, but you need to watch him as closely as you would a child who already knows how to roll over and crawl. In any case, this is a great opportunity to get to know your baby better.
Dad and baby care
It would be great if dad and baby have already gotten used to each other. It’s even better if dad has already gotten used to carrying the baby in his arms. You can find a lot of information about ways to carry a child in various sources. But the main thing is that you and your baby feel comfortable and safe. Without experiencing stiffness in movements and fear of harming the baby, you will quickly learn to understand the needs of the baby. And this is a very important achievement.
Of course, it is very convenient to leave dad and baby alone when the baby is sleeping. If the weather is good outside, then you can try and walk for the entire allotted time. To do this, you should choose uncrowded places, far from road transport and roads, but not very far from home or from mom, because children can unexpectedly wake up with an acute feeling of hunger.
During your walk, regularly check to see if your child is cold or sweaty. And if necessary, take appropriate measures to eliminate such troubles.
If your child is bottle-fed, then it will not be difficult for you to feed him. The situation is much more complicated with infants who are completely breastfed. In this case, your wife probably expressed milk into a container, explained to you how to heat it to the desired temperature, and even showed you the volume that the baby should suck in one go.
But the baby may simply refuse to eat with a pacifier if he has never done this before. Therefore, if you have such an opportunity, then a few days before the planned event it is advisable to introduce the child to a bottle. If the baby does not eat milk this way, then at least let him drink water or baby tea. This will help you buy time. But, of course, it’s better not to leave such a picky child for a long time without his mother’s breast.
Be prepared for the fact that very young children often begin to cough because they do not yet know how to swallow quickly, and liquid gets into the windpipe. If it seems to you that the child has choked, immediately tilt him forward so that his head is lower than his body, press with your hand in the stomach area and pat him a little on the back.
It is much worse if the baby chokes on solid food. So if the child is already a little older. then don’t let him play around, laugh or even talk while eating.
Hygiene procedures
During the mother’s absence, there may be a need for hygiene procedures. Of course, it would be best to wash the baby every time you change your pants. But, most likely, you received it dressed in disposable diaper. In such a situation, it is very important to change diapers in a timely manner, because contact of delicate baby skin with urine or feces is fraught with irritation, sometimes very strong.
If the child has soiled his diaper, it is convenient to wipe the bottom first wet wipes, and then rinse it under running water.
Very important: girls are washed from front to back, and boys - vice versa!
If you need to bathe the child entirely, then he is not that small. However, bathing a newborn is very difficult to do without skills and an assistant at hand.
How to put a baby to sleep?
So, you have given your baby a bath and are ready to sing him a lullaby as you put him to bed, but suddenly the baby starts crying for no apparent reason. It's not scary. Most likely, the baby misses his mother and his usual way of life. But perhaps he is suffering from increased gas formation and intestinal colic.
A good way to relieve pain is to put the baby on his tummy on a warm diaper, or even better - on your chest. Pat the baby on the back, talk to him in a gentle, calm tone as if the baby understands everything (and he really does). And the baby will definitely calm down and fall asleep.
Child's age: 2.6
How to help a child cope painlessly with the passing of his father?
The daughters are 2 and 6. The father left the family, but wants to continue meeting with the child. The daughter is very sensitive to her father’s farewell to her after walks. He calls both parents home, persuading his father to stay. How can you help your child get through this stage of life painlessly? Should my father come more often or, on the contrary, reduce his meetings? Where is the best place for them to meet? On the street (on the playground) or at home so that this time is only their time? So that no one distracts you from communication?
Natalia
Hello, Natalia.
I am very sorry that such an event happened in your family. And, sad as it is, it cannot be completely painless for your daughter. If it is no longer possible to prevent, then at least it is in your power to help the girl survive this situation with minimal losses.
In my opinion, it is not so important where and under what circumstances father and daughter meet. It is more important that they occur regularly, by prior arrangement and, as far as possible, without cancellations. Regularity will give the child a feeling of stability, and therefore security. If the father keeps his promises to the girl, then over time she will be more comfortable letting him go, knowing exactly when they will meet again. When she experiences negative emotions when parting with her dad, it is better to react to them as calmly as possible. You can voice her feelings, express your understanding and sympathy.
To reduce your daughter’s emotional stress, you need to talk to her, if you haven’t already, and explain in a language she understands what happened. Silence increases the baby's anxiety, as she feels your negative emotions and notices that dad is not coming home, but does not know the reason for this. In such a situation, children often conclude that the reason is in themselves - in their bad behavior, For example. When you feel up to it, calmly tell her that “Daddy won’t be living with us anymore.” You can also talk about your feelings about this (“This makes me sad, bitter, sometimes I get angry”). At the same time, emphasize that your daughter is not at all to blame for this; this decision of his parents is based on their relationship with each other. But their attitude towards her will never change, they still love her, and she will always remain their daughter.
In general, be patient, because it takes a lot of time to get through such a situation. At the same time, stay in contact with the girl as much as possible. Try to devote more time and attention to her, support her emotionally, show her love and care more often. This will help her cope in the future. difficult situations on one's own.
If you need additional help from a specialist, it is best to seek an in-person consultation with a psychologist. On our website you can find addresses of free ones in your city. You can also get help at any time by calling 8-800-2000-122. Calling to it is anonymous and free from any phone.
Anastasia Vyalykh,
Family psychologist
Any man can have a child, but not everyone can become a real father. And although we sing the praises of mothers and their dedication every day, it is rare that we remember the important role a father plays in raising a child. Views on raising a child have changed dramatically over time. IN modern family The father's role in upbringing is not limited only to material support and wise advice, good dad must pay enough attention to his children and know how to raise children not only grown-up, but also newborns.
Newborn and dad
Many studies prove that a father who is involved and supportive, who showers his child with love and care, can greatly contribute to the development of mental abilities, ability to learn languages, communication skills, as well as honesty, hard work and good self-esteem.
The role of the father in education
The role of the father in education cannot be underestimated. A newborn and a dad are not a touching picture and not “too good to be true”, it’s an important part a child's life that will affect him or her for the rest of his or her life in one way or another.
A child's relationship with his father can affect all subsequent relationships with other people, including friends, lovers and spouses. These early patterns of interaction with the father are the very patterns that will henceforth be projected in all respects onto for many, many years. It is not only your child's internal idea of who he/she is and how he/she relates to others, but also the range of what your child will consider acceptable and how he/she will perceive being cared for.
Dad and newborn daughter
It is often said that girls instinctively look for the characteristics of their father in their loved ones. Of course, this does not mean that all girls will look for their dad in all the men who appear in their lives, but there is still some truth in this. It doesn't matter if the father was the kindest and loving man, and accordingly an ideal to strive for, in a girl’s life or not, the relationship with her father is familiar territory. Girls will look for traits and behavior patterns familiar to them from childhood in others.
Dad and newborn son
The role of the father in raising his son takes on a completely different color. Boys will behave like their fathers. They will seek their father's approval in everything they do and copy behaviors that they recognize as successful and familiar. So, if dad was abusive, controlling and dominant, chances are high that their sons will imitate their cruelty. However, if the father has always been loving and supportive, then the son will want to be just like that.
So, due to some circumstances (a necessary visit from the mother to the doctor, an emergency trip, etc.), you are left alone with the baby. First of all, calm down and don't panic! If such a step is even slightly planned (let’s say, you have at least half an hour before your mother’s departure), try to get recommendations from her on how and what to do. Don’t try to remember everything, just take a blank sheet of paper and ask her to write everything down (or write it down yourself under her dictation if she’s busy getting ready or feeding the baby before going out). Then, in the absence of fuss, it will be easier for you to comprehend everything by checking the list. But even if your mother’s departure happened completely unexpectedly and you did not have time to stock up on valuable instructions, there is absolutely no reason to panic. Caring for a baby is very logical and quite amenable to common sense. Therefore, trust your mind and inner feeling, and we will try to make your life easier with simple recommendations.
Dad and baby: what and how to feed the baby
One of the basic needs infant- the need for food, and you, of course, will have to feed the baby.
Children in the first six months of life should receive exclusively breast milk or, in the absence or deficiency of it from the mother, formula milk.
If your baby is a baby in the true sense of the word, that is is located , first of all, you have to find out whether the mother left expressed milk.
Here are some subtleties that should be taken into account when warming breast milk and directly when feeding your baby.
- The most convenient way to heat milk is to use a water bath. To do this, just run a thin stream of water from a hot tap, which will collect in some container (for example, a deep bowl) and place a bottle of cold milk or a bag of frozen milk there. Of course, the bottle must be tightly closed to prevent tap water from getting into the milk. If the bottle already has a nipple, put a special protective cap on top.
- To determine temperature baby food drop a little milk on the inside of your wrist - the sensation should be comfortable: neither cold nor hot. This will be the optimal milk temperature for feeding the baby.
- When your baby has emptied the bottle, offer him the next one if it seems to you that the first one did not provide enough nutrition. If you are in doubt, do not be afraid to offer your child too much: breast milk It is impossible to overfeed, even from a bottle. The baby's body knows how to cope with excess milk, which it does not currently need. He will either burp or pass some undigested milk in his stool.
If the baby is on, you will have to prepare the formula that he eats.
- Don't forget to check with your mom how much your baby eats at one feeding. The main thing is to strictly follow the recommendations on the packaging. It usually indicates the approximate serving size and the rules for diluting the powder. If, at the end of feeding your baby, it seems to you that he is not full, you can dilute a little more of the mixture, maintaining the same proportions. Just remember that children receiving formula should be offered extra water throughout the day. It is better if it is special bottled water for children to drink: it does not require boiling. If there is no such water, pour boiled water cooled to room temperature into a bottle and offer it to the baby between feedings.
- To feed your baby, hold him in your arms so that he is positioned horizontally or his head is slightly higher than his body. Place the handle closest to you behind your back. A very convenient device is a feeding pillow. If you have such an item in your home, you can feed your baby by placing him on this pillow, which is located on your lap. Make sure that when feeding the baby, the milk or formula completely fills the nipple and the area of the bottle directly above it - this will prevent the baby from swallowing air.
- When you finish feeding, hold your baby upright. This helps expel swallowed air from the stomach. To do this, it is convenient to take it so that the head is at the level of your shoulder. Walk around the room with your child, stroking his back. Belching is accompanied by a rather loud characteristic sound, so you can't go wrong.
Nutrition for children over 6 months
Children after 6 months already start receiving complementary foods , that is, additional dishes in addition to breast milk.
If the baby has barely “passed” 6 months and you are not sure that the mother has already managed to introduce complementary foods into his diet, it is not at all scary if you do not give him additional nutrition, but “hold out” on milk or formula alone. If you are sure exactly what and how much the baby receives as an additional dish, give the prescribed portion at one of the feedings (preheated, from a spoon), then milk or formula at the same feeding.
There are no too strict rules in the diet of infants, but they usually adhere to certain principles:
- It is better to give porridge for breakfast or, on the contrary, in the evening before bed;
- vegetables, meat and fish - for lunch;
- cottage cheese, often with fruit puree, - for second breakfast or dinner (as opposed to how you give porridge).
Complementary feeding can really help you out if your mother is not away for the whole day. Then, in the absence of expressed milk and/or complete rejection of a tiny bottle and pacifier, you can wait for the mother’s arrival, offering the baby complementary foods. This is not an ideal situation, but quite acceptable in conditions of force majeure. It is quite possible that the baby will even experience much less stress if he satisfies his hunger “whatever he has to” (more precisely, than he can afford at this age) and waits for his mother’s breast than if he hastily masters the pacifier - perhaps this skill will not be useful to him for a long time again.
Dad and baby: how to bathe a baby and change his diaper
Before each feeding, the baby (about once every 2-3 hours) should change the diaper. In addition, this must be done after each bowel movement so that the stool does not irritate delicate skin crumbs. Before each diaper change, you need to wash your baby. Wash it with warm running water so that it flows from the genitals to the anus, and not vice versa. To do this, take the child horizontally, tummy up, placing him on the forearm and holding him by the leg, and place him under running water. Surely, on the shelf in the bathroom you will find baby soap- in pieces or liquid. It is quite suitable for washing.
After water procedure You need to dry the baby's skin - blot it with light movements. Soft ones are convenient for this. terry towels and thin cotton diapers: they absorb moisture well. Before putting on a diaper, lubricate the area around the anus, perineum, and in girls, also the labia majora, with a protective diaper cream (you will most likely find it near the changing table). If you suddenly find noticeable redness in the mentioned areas, it is better to use a special cream if it is also in your arsenal. Fasten the diaper so that it does not tighten the tummy too much, but at the same time does not sag.
When bathing your baby in the evening, it is convenient to use a baby bath and special baby foam, a small amount of which you simply pour into the bath. The water temperature should be about 37 °C. After the bath, it is better to rinse the baby’s body with water, the temperature of which is 2–3 °C lower than the temperature of the water in the bath. This can be done either from the shower or from a jug. After bathing the baby and drying, the steps are the same: protective cream, a clean diaper, and a fresh change of clothes. If the apartment is cool (below 20–21 °C), you can put a cap or a thin cotton cap on the child’s head for half an hour after bathing.
Dad and baby: how to dress a baby
At home, at an air temperature of 20–23 °C, a thin cotton jumpsuit or a set of blouse and romper suits is enough for the little one. For a baby in the first month of life, you can add an additional undershirt or bodysuit, as well as cotton socks. To determine your baby's comfort, focus on his legs, arms, and nose: they should be slightly cool or warm. If the skin in these areas is noticeably cold, it is likely that your baby is too cool and should add an extra blouse and socks. If the nose and legs are hot and wet, then the baby is hot and the amount of clothing should be reduced.
For a walk in the warm season (at an air temperature of 20 ° C and above), the principles of clothing are the same, but you may also need a thin hat that protects from the wind, or even an additional thin windbreaker.
For a walk in cold weather, you will need a “home” set of clothes, an additional blouse, warm overalls and a hat for the season (or a thin hat with a tight-fitting hood). Basically, dress your baby as you would, plus one more layer. The thickness of this additional layer varies from a cotton blouse to a warm woolen overall, depending on the weather conditions.
Since you will be awake and walking, and the baby will be lying in the stroller and, most likely, sleeping, you need to cover him on top with a warm blanket or blanket; it’s even more convenient to place the baby dressed in overalls in a special winter envelope. Judge the baby’s comfort by the same criterion - the temperature of the nose, as well as by behavior. If the baby sleeps peacefully, his nose is cool or warm, then you guessed right with the clothes. If he is cold, he will most likely become capricious, and his nose will be sharply cold. If the baby is fidgeting, sleeping restlessly, or his nose is hot, you have wrapped him up.
Why is the baby crying?
The most common and “justified” reason for a baby to cry is hunger. If 2-3 hours have passed since the last feeding and the baby cries immediately upon waking up, most likely it’s time for him to eat.
If you gave the baby a bottle, he smacked his lips with satisfaction, but after a while he began to show anxiety - fidgeting, turning away from the nipple, whining (he still wants to suck, but something seems to be stopping him) - apparently, he began to eat too greedily and swallowed air. The air expands the walls of the stomach and causes discomfort. In this case, stop feeding the baby, take the baby upright or lay him on his tummy. Gently massage his back. After the air leaves the stomach, the little one will be happy to continue sucking.
Restlessness and crying of the baby approximately 30-40 minutes after feeding is most often a sign of colic - painful intestinal spasms. At the same time, the baby twists his legs, sometimes pulling them towards his stomach, sometimes straightening them, whimpering or screaming, the expression on his face is pained. You can hear rumbling in your tummy; if you touch it carefully, you can feel that it is swollen. In this case, it is best to place the baby with his tummy on your stomach and stroke his back. Typically, this tummy position combined with your body heat will provide significant relief. You can also apply a warm (not hot!) heating pad or diaper to the baby’s tummy, massage the abdomen clockwise to help the gases pass, or, laying the baby on her back, straighten and then press the bent legs to the tummy. If the above measures do not help, you can give your baby one of the medications that relieve colic attacks (it is better to check with your wife in advance which one and where it is). Do not forget to carefully read the instructions first and give your baby a dose of medicine appropriate for his age.
But we should not forget that a baby can cry not only from a physical problem. Sometimes he is simply lonely, anxious and wants to be with one of the adults. Take the baby in your arms, calm him down, talk to him tenderly, sing a song, tell him how much you love him. You can try to distract your baby with toys or pictures. The main thing is not to panic yourself! To calm your baby, first of all you need to calm down yourself, only then will he be able to feel your confidence and protection.
Dad and baby: precautions
When caring for your baby, you should strictly follow some rules to avoid injuries and conditions that threaten his health.
- Never leave your baby on a surface without a side, even if it seems to you that it is too small to roll over. As a last resort, you can put it on your wide bed, closer to the wall and away from the edges - and then for a few minutes and preferably under your vigilant supervision. Modern models Changing tables are equipped with seat belts. It is best to secure the baby with them if you need to go to the next room. If you do not have such an opportunity, the most reasonable thing is to put the baby in his crib. Even if he starts screaming indignantly, he will still be safe.
- Do not give food to your baby without first checking its temperature and mixing it thoroughly. Failure to comply with these measures may result in burns to the mouth and facial skin.
- Never hold your baby in your arms if you are cooking on the stove.
Sterilization of children's dishes
Food should be offered to the baby in sterile containers and with a sterile nipple. If your baby eats from bottles, you most likely have a special sterilizer for them at home. It’s great if you know how to use it or have instructions available to you. Before sterilization, children's dishes should be washed with special means(usually a baby dishwashing detergent) that removes grease from the surface. If there is no such product, laundry soap will do. Use bottle and nipple brushes. If you do not have a sterilizer, it will be enough to rinse the dishes well (with a special product or soap) and then pour over them with boiling water. Both after a sterilizer and after “manual sterilization,” it is very important to completely dry the dishes, since it is the remaining moisture that promotes the proliferation of microorganisms.
On February 10, there was a New Moon in Aquarius, which I called “Short Circuit,” and on February 11, Pope Benedict XVI officially announced his resignation. This is a revolutionary statement in the spirit of Uranus - unheard of (since the 15th century), unexpected, eccentric action, rebellion, liberation.
Many planets have accumulated in the sign of Pisces (4 planets) - the sign responsible for spirituality, church, faith in a Higher Power, service.
The figure of the card is interesting - it looks like a Chair - a stool with legs - and the Pope said that he was tired of “standing” in power and wanted to rest, symbolically “sit on a chair.”
This figure also looks like a curtain on a theater stage - backstage, leaving. Pisces is a sign of mystery, hidden things happening behind the scenes, intrigue, secret enemies. We do not know true reasons leaving, quite possibly - this is the result of some secret machinations or intra-church intrigues or, as the newspapers write, resistance of the church to necessary changes (the influence of Aquarius - there is the Sun and Venus).
The central rail of the figure, the seat of the Chair, is a mega-aspect of the current times - the square of Uranus and Pluto. Uranus in Aries symbolizes the exploration of new directions, uncharted territories, innovations, and Pluto in Capricorn symbolizes well-established traditional structures that have been built over a long time, but are fairly outdated and in need of renovation or even resuscitation. This shows that the system of the Catholic Church, which has been built over centuries, needs reforms, and traditionalists and conservatives (avid Capricorns) stubbornly resist them.
The newspaper "Arguments and Facts" writes that the reason for the departure of the Pope, who is part of the conservative wing of the church, is the crisis of the church.
“The Catholic Church needs “new thinking”.... He (Pope Benedict) was a staunch conservative and did not want to change anything in the relationship between the church and the world... He followed the route laid out by the church fathers, not responding to the challenges of the time. And there were more and more of them. The problem of celibacy of Catholic priests and the related problem of pedophilia. The issue of remarriage for Catholics. Abortion. Euthanasia. Women clergy. Same-sex marriage. Homosexuality. Adoption of children by same-sex couples (all these are Uranian trends). Benedict had an answer to everything: no, no, no..... Dad was tired of intrigue. He was depressed by his state of helplessness in the face of a rapidly changing world.”(opinion of Vyacheslav Kostikov, Russian Ambassador to the Vatican).
As you can see, 6 planets on the Chair - Fish intrigues and accusations of the Pope in various little things, including nit-picking about his mistakes, origin, accusations of financial fraud and Aquarius - a demand for attention to the trend of new times, albeit shocking in their strangeness and non-fitting into established canons normal
The legs of the stool stand on Jupiter and Saturn - that is, the social planets - social trends, laws of society, facts and realities of life. Jupiter is now in Gemini and he has enough arguments and facts to prove the need to consider a new paradigm of thinking, expanding the boundaries of one’s consciousness. By the way, (the so-called next End of the World), it contained the figure of Yod - the finger of God, pointing to Jupiter with Lilith in Gemini, which also called for the expansion of collective consciousness.
Saturn in Scorpio dug deep under the very foundations (the church is the main support of society) and therefore they shook. Paired with Pluto - mutual sign reception - these two planets decided to undertake an overhaul of the most basic structures of our society.
Pope Benedict officially retires on February 28 at 8:00 pm. The chair is no longer there, there is a large bisextile on Pluto with 5 planets in Pisces - a strong transformation of the spiritual sphere - the church and the clergy.
Another interesting fact is the prediction of another end of the world - all in the same “Arguments and Facts” it is written that, according to the prophecy of the Irish priest Malachi, Benedict is the penultimate Pope in history. During the reign of the next pontiff, the end of the world will come (or another crisis of the Catholic Church?). The last Pope will be called Peter, like the Apostle Peter, the first head Christian Church. Among the candidates for the role of Pope there is indeed one priest named Peter, Peter Turkson, a candidate from Ghana and he is already on the list of preferred candidates.
As astrologer Brad Cronen suggests, instead of delving into gloomy thoughts about Armagendons, it's better to look at the Latin meanings of the words:
Pontiff - bridge "ponte" and "facere" do = make a bridge
Amen = So be it!
That is, we all need make a bridge to the Universal Source of Spirituality, which will soon be presented to humanity and every inhabitant of the planet will have the opportunity to find their Pontiff - within themselves.
