Only the type of temperament determines how to survive the betrayal of your husband - whether this fact will be perceived with hostility or will soon be forgotten. Cheating on your husband can be considered a bitter mistake that needs repentance, and for some it is a real symbol of revenge.
Of course, it’s unpleasant to experience something like this yourself, but psychology looks at the problem not only from the side of betrayal, but also from delusion. Not a single psychologist takes responsibility for giving advice on continuing a relationship with a traitor, but simply gives an impetus to continue living after betrayal.
It is worth forgiving other individuals, because in this way the excess accumulated negative energy is released.
You cannot live with resentment in your heart, you need to get rid of everything unnecessary, be able to worry, let go of painful fragments.
Particularly impressionable girls find it difficult to give the gift of forgiveness, sometimes this even requires breaking up, temporarily or not - it depends on the situation. It is extremely difficult to see your abuser day after day.
There are cases that have a positive effect on temporary differences, and for some, sometimes they even prove the benefits and advantages of the sides of a free, free life, where you do not have to endure the constant fornication of the ungodly. The serious mental trauma inflicted should not become a reason for hatred of everything around you. Gradually, time will be able to heal absolutely all wounds and open the way for new bright feelings.
Isolation and aggression are completely normal emotions in such a situation; you need to give free rein to tears, bitterness, and suffer a little, so that after a while you will gain cheerfulness with renewed vigor, draw conclusions and reconsider your values. It’s not normal to pretend that nothing has changed, but closing yourself off from everyone and falling into long-term depression is not an option!
The loss of a soulmate or even a banal quarrel is painful, but you can’t live in eternal mourning either. Life goes on!
A good way to distract yourself does not always have an entertaining meaning, sometimes life after your husband’s betrayal, the advice of a psychologist does not always have a quick effect, the forum also does not give intelligible answers, so you have to look for activities for yourself.
In addition to ordinary hobbies, you can join various clubs, discover new talents, and help children or animals. In this way, not only is someone else’s pain felt, but also the over-selfish traits are lost, the woman becomes beautiful, because nothing is more beautiful and dignified than the true kindness of the heart; the ability to take on a particle of another grief, introducing previously unknown feelings and problems, changes occur from within, values and needs are revised.
No matter how strong the resentment may be, you need to gradually force yourself to communicate with society, make new acquaintances and conversations. All individuals are different, there are a lot of interesting things in the world, it’s great to observe with curiosity all the phenomena of the environment in the company of old and new comrades, especially males.
By taking a closer look, conducting correspondence, and arranging a meeting, you can get not only moral and aesthetic pleasure from communication and knowledge, but also receive a rhetorical question about how to cope with your husband’s infidelity.
Acquaintance, friendship, flirting over time can easily smoothly turn into something more, for example, falling in love, but first you need to stop living in stereotypes and have fun; despite fatigue, age, social status and other things: just relax, be yourself, try to live at least a little for yourself, pamper yourself with careful care, gifts, relaxation. It is extremely important to be in harmony with yourself, and the rest will follow!
The difference between treason and betrayal
Apostasy is a fleeting relationship or regular sexual intercourse with one lover who has no feelings, but betrayal is tenderness, falling in love with another woman. In this case, neither hysterics nor threats will help, if the spouse has not decided on the correctness of actions, then there is no need to put pressure on him, conversations should be extremely quiet, calm, manifestations of aggression or frequent emotional outbursts will lead to a quick breakup.
A female representative should always look impeccable, so that in comparisons she is certainly not inferior to other young ladies, even if the husband is temporarily under the impression and does not notice this, then her own self-esteem and confidence will depend on such nuances. It’s hard to imagine how to live with an adulterer under the same roof, knowing that his third-party adultery did not end for a single day; such a situation prompts the question: how to survive the betrayal of a beloved man?
Not everyone has the fortitude to break off a marriage and let a person go once and for all, but living with a husband who cheats is also somehow disappointing; you hardly want to divide your love into three, but if old feelings can't be returned anymore. The second, seemingly inseparable half, repeats about its irrevocable decision to leave, then all that remains is to stock up on nerves and proudly bear the “knife in the back”; How to move on after cheating?
Of course, a lot will change, it is important not to despair, to gradually emerge from the shock and depressive state.
Moreover, at a time when you are puzzled by how to survive a man’s betrayal, maybe he already bitterly regrets what he has done. Sexual diversity and attractive appearance always attract, this is what you need to strive for in life together, but besides this, nothing can replace true affection, love, care, constant participation, help loved one.
When a thought arises: how to live after your husband’s betrayal? Act confidently, change for the better, achieve new successes, because this is a kind of impetus for change. Initially, it won’t go out of my head - my husband changed how to survive the betrayal, but after a certain time, the pain will be forgotten, new paths and opportunities will open up.
This often happens: after living outside their home, hubbies often change their minds, realize that they are bored, and try to return; but whether to forgive them or not is another question that depends on the current situation, his ability to behave, the painful sensations inflicted, the character of his wife, her ability to forgive.
How to react?
Often men are intrigued by mystery and inaccessibility, but as soon as they get a “kick” from their wife and move in with their mistress, they lose interest in everything that is happening, it seems to them that the further development of events does not make any sense, because the lady has already been conquered.
Over time, the guys get bored and start to come to native home, especially if there are small children, then it will not be difficult to explain the reasons for the visit. At a time when the abandoned wife is still reproaching herself with a painful problem: how to survive her husband’s betrayal, he can calmly prepare for his return. Not so fast, forgiveness must be earned!
There are limits, boundaries of patience that are characteristic of each individual; there is no need to suffer, allowing too much, definitely. A person must understand that he cannot come and go as he pleases, there must be respect, and where there is permissiveness, there will definitely not be it. It's nice to know that you're returning, but a quick reconciliation can lead to the fact that the unfaithful one will continue to run on both sides, this can last indefinitely.
No young lady should give up on her personal life, thinking that she has no choice, she will have to give in, endure constant humiliation, sooner or later, this way of life will lead to a hateful attitude. Keeping the problem silent will not allow you to find a solution.
A man should not return to everything ready, bend him into bed and get what he wants, he needs to at least wait a little, convey: family is not thrown away, this is a great value that is built over the years, respect is the key to success, until he understands and comes to repentance , awareness of shameful behavior will not deserve pardon. You can’t do anything against your will, if you want freedom, go for a walk, but since you already have a family, take responsibility and take into account their interests.
Stages of mental state
There are no hopeless situations; it’s just that a way out is not always visible and suitable for a particular individual; there is not enough strength to come to terms with the loss. At such moments, there is no need to be shy, ask questions to psychologists or girls who became the heroines of such stories: how did you survive the betrayal, what helped?
Certain stages of the disorder last differently for everyone, depending on the strength of character, temperament, life position, but in any case, they are inevitable:
- negation. The girl is in a state of shock, she can’t wrap her head around it like she did yesterday. happy marriage can fall apart before our eyes, few people want to experience this for themselves.
- The most dangerous moment is attempts to return what was before, while the actions are diverse and do not agree with each other.
- Anger, aggression, quarrels, showdowns.
- Memories, boredom, sadness.
- Only at the stage of accepting the situation - start conversations with your lover, they will be more balanced, adequate, calm, frank than before. No matter how protracted the period of depression may be, a state of humility will definitely come.
Such periods last approximately several months, the main thing is to avoid meaningless scandals, emotional statements, and insults, which can further aggravate the situation.
What to avoid:
- hysterics, tears, abuse, accusations in the presence of a traitor. The stronger sex is designed in such a way that it is overly irritating to them.
- Think about why he could do this, whether there are any problems in life together.
- In the presence of your husband, maintain equanimity, throw out negativity during his absence, try to joke if possible.
- Forgiveness will bring relief primarily to the injured party.
- If you manage to reconcile, reunite, eradicate accusations, leave grievances in the past.
- Take care of yourself, know how to ask for help at the right moments.
- Stop arguing, listen to your loved one.
- If possible, cry, scream, it’s easier to get rid of pain than to constantly accumulate it.
- Look at what is happening from the outside, think of a clear plan of action.
When entering into marriage, the newlyweds swear to be faithful to each other, because this is the basis of family happiness and a guarantee of stable, lasting long term relationship. And if someone breaks this oath, life stops going as usual, raising the question: what to do next and how to survive the betrayal.
It is no secret that men cheat more often; this is their biological nature: to fertilize as many females as possible. But in the course of evolution, in addition to the development of physical instincts, humanity cultivated social norms of behavior, according to which a man and a woman can create a successful tandem based on fidelity, trust and love.
Therefore, betrayal, as an accomplished fact, can have a different nature and be:
- an unfortunate isolated incident that a man wants to forget about as quickly as possible;
- the lifestyle of a male who believes that he can do anything;
- the result of passion that came like a hurricane.
No one is immune from betrayal and rarely is anyone able to survive it easily and without mental anguish.
Betrayal of a loved one
Most women who have experienced their husband's betrayal feel that they have been betrayed. The usual picture of the world collapses, life for the most part takes on gray colors and seems meaningless. What to do? 
Give up on yourself
Some people take these words literally. And some people simply stop taking care of themselves. Lack of manicure, tangled, dull hair, eyes red from tears, dark circles and the bags under them, as a result of sleepless nights, can turn any woman from a beauty into you know what.
Do not rush to die, both literally and figuratively. Cheating on your husband is not the end of everything, but the beginning. The beginning of a new stage in your life.
To live on
With or without him? This is a question that needs to be answered individually. Someone does not forgive betrayal, under any extenuating circumstances. Someone closes their eyes, puts up with it, allowing it to happen again and again. You can go to extremes. Or you can stop and analyze the situation in order to learn from it.
- Try to calm down. Not because Moscow doesn’t believe in tears, but because calmness will help maintain a good appearance, healthy well-being and a sober assessment of the situation
- Determine the nature of the betrayal, this will make it easier to understand whether to stay with your husband or not. And if so, how to improve the relationship.
- Find the reason. Cheating is like a disease - you don’t need to treat the symptoms, you need to remove the cause.
- Evaluate a man's feelings:
- respects - does not respect;
- communicates with you - ignores you;
- experiences sexual attraction- indifferent to you.
Such an analysis will help you make decisions thoughtfully and protect you from actions that you may later regret.
Dangerous reactions
Often a man, having cheated, tries to justify himself by blaming his wife for what happened. He may claim that she is not pretty and well-groomed enough, skilled in bed, or does not understand his spiritual or physiological needs. There may be some truth in this, since infidelity most often there are two people to blame: both the one who cheated and the one who was cheated on.
But you shouldn’t take his words as the absolute truth, all people are not perfect, and this is not at all a reason for constant betrayal to become the norm. The main thing is to be able to talk, discuss the problem and find possible ways her decisions.
It is in communication, calmly articulating one’s feelings, sensations, expectations that the way out is found, and not in insults, scandals, attempts to find the guilty, the desire to take revenge or drown out mental pain with alcohol.
Desire for revenge
One of the main dangers that awaits an offended and insulted woman is the thirst for revenge. Moreover, society is also pushing for this, offering, as a rule, three interpretations:
The feeling of revenge is quite understandable and at first glance, the desire to take revenge on the person who hurt you is fair, but after taking revenge, you are unlikely to feel satisfaction, especially if, in response to your husband’s next betrayal, you decide to cheat on him yourself. Many wives tried this very method to cure mental pain.
But revenge will not give you either peace or happiness; it does not create, but will only destroy the good that still remains in your marriage and in your soul.
And listening to such advice, which encourages retaliatory betrayal or another type of revenge, is a thankless task. They are usually given by people who are not happy in their relationships. Look at their life and at themselves, if you like everything and want to live just like them - listen, if not - think with your own head.
Risk of alcoholism
No less dangerous are attempts to drown out mental pain and relieve stress with the help of alcohol. The state of intoxication quickly passes, but the problem remains, aggravated by poor health, unimportant appearance, and hangover depression.
In that difficult period you need a clear head to comprehend what happened, draw conclusions and decide how to live further. 
To keep your mind clear, it is better to go to the gym, load yourself with work, get out into nature, do handicrafts, meet old friends who do not know about your problem, or talk to a psychoanalyst.
There is nothing worse than death. If you are alive, you can find a way out of any situation.
After thirty years of marriage
The betrayal of a husband after thirty years of marriage in prosperous families often becomes a tragedy. Wives are confident in the stability of their marriage, and betrayal causes shock, which is then replaced by a feeling of fear, disappointment, resentment towards the person to whom they were given best years. Man after for long years Married people may get bored, want to relive the feeling of being in love, and feel young.
What should I do?
This will give you two undeniable advantages:
- understanding that now not everything is as bad as it could be;
- a willingness to act wisely to avoid this worst-case scenario.
During pregnancy
Pregnancy is a period when a woman is especially vulnerable and needs the love and care of her husband, so his betrayal not only hurts, but also frightens the woman. Young families primarily face such problems, especially if the woman’s pregnancy was the main reason for marriage.
A man is afraid of losing freedom, upcoming troubles and responsibility; he is also vulnerable. Sex life with his pregnant wife may not satisfy him, and he strives for sex with other women.
Video: What to do if a man cheated
What to do if this happens?
- Continue to think about your child, about his and your health. No man is worth having you give birth to a disabled child by worrying about his actions.
- Decide whether you will try to establish a relationship with this person or not.
- if not, file for divorce or leave to live separately;
- if yes, discuss the situation, find out the cause and eliminate it. Find ways to give a man sexual pleasure;
- If a man is ready to save his family, but doesn’t really want to discuss the current situation, don’t put pressure on him, act on your own. Sometimes a woman’s first child is her husband: how we raise him is what we will receive. And he doesn’t always have to know what the process is underway education.
With my best friend
Cheating with best friend It’s doubly scary, since two close people betray you at once. But do not rush to make a decision rashly and break off relations with both at once, although this may be the best decision. 
What to do, what to do and where to find the strength to live on?
- The three of us talk. This is very difficult, but if you are destined to die, then it is better to die a hero. Why three of us, and not with each of us separately? Neither your husband nor your girlfriend will have a chance to lie to you, and you will find out the truth. If this is an accident, then who initiated it, if this is love, then it is better for you to leave and start your life and relationship again.
- Immerse yourself in work. This will distract you for a while, but will not solve the problem.
- Leave. It doesn’t matter where: to a resort, to your grandmother’s village, to a pilgrimage excursion - the main thing is that you are alone in a different, unfamiliar environment.
Imagine the following situations and track your feelings:
- your husband disappeared from your life, but your girlfriend remained;
- A friend has disappeared, but her husband remains;
- both disappeared.
Which of the following situations did you feel more comfortable in? This is a ready-made decision on what to do next and with whom to end the relationship.
Betrayal and divorce
Sometimes, having cheated or systematically cheated, the husband does not want to change anything and leave the family. But it could be different - he wants a divorce and plans to start a family with another woman. The situation is often complicated by the fact that he leaves not only his wife, but also children, who painfully experience his departure. 
What to do is a question that arises in itself.
- To resolve all issues regarding divorce proceedings better hire a lawyer
- Don't involve your children in your problems and don't turn them against their father. firstly: you chose him yourself, secondly: there are no former fathers.
- Maintain respect for both yourself and him. Even if you were betrayed, this is a lesson that can either make you stronger, which will help you find happiness in the future, or break you and your future. Whether the first option or the second happens is up to you to choose by your reaction to a given situation.
How to save a family
If, faced with her husband’s betrayal, a woman strives to save her family, she should, first of all, talk frankly with her husband, understand his desires and intentions, the reasons that pushed him to take this step. But your conversations should be constructive dialogue, and not attempts to evoke pity or remorse.
If you want to stay together, it makes sense to visit a psychologist, he will give practical advice how to survive your husband’s betrayal in each specific situation and save your marriage.
- Pay more attention to yourself;
- Find a hobby;
- Workout;
- Take on a new project at work.
Psychotrainings and affirmations
Various psychotrainings and affirmations help to cope with mental pain, resentment, decreased self-esteem and other problems that arise as a result of betrayal - statements that help change the way of thinking and shape the desired future.
Video: How to survive betrayal
Examples of positive affirmations
An affirmation must meet several requirements:
- be positive, without using the particle “not”: I do not grow old = I remain young;
- be in the present tense: I will be loved = I am loved;
- be clear: Awareness and kindness help me move beyond limitations and find a new path = I am worthy of a wonderful life;
- be specific: I live with a man = I live happily with a kind wealthy man generous man which leads healthy image life and free from marriage and children.
Psychologists note that what formerly a woman asks for help, the greater the chance she has of saving her family or friendly relations With ex-husband, it’s easier to get through this difficult period. But you shouldn’t complain about your husband to relatives and friends; they are unlikely to be objective and impartial.
You will need all your kindness and wisdom to become stronger and more independent, but you can overcome this challenge!
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How to survive your husband's betrayal? Cheating is a fairly common phenomenon in family life. Our great-grandmothers, grandmothers, and mothers also faced this. Now it is the turn of our generation.
Your friend, acquaintance, or relative once found herself in a similar situation. You sympathized with them all, sincerely worried about them. But when it affects your family personally, emotions just go through the roof. And the most offensive thing is that you saw that something was happening. Frequent delays at work, sudden business trips, stupid complaints addressed to you, new incomprehensible interests, privacy with the phone on the balcony or in the bathroom. All this happened, but you didn’t pay enough attention to it, and he cheated.
If, after everything that happened, you found the strength to put an end to your relationship with your husband, then you don’t have to read any further.
Our conversation today will be useful to those women who decide to give their husband a second chance.
It is extremely important to take into account that there are several psychological traps, falling into which a woman can turn her life into utter hell. Using these tips, you can avoid this and continue to live a full life.
Trap one: idealization of the mistress.
Take it as an axiom: she is no better, moreover, even worse than you, since she dared to start a relationship with married man, tried to break up his family.
After her husband’s betrayal, the wife’s self-esteem drops to an all-time low. You begin to idealize your lover, telling yourself that since he chose her over you, it means she is better: a delightful athletic figure, well-groomed face, hair and body. And she probably drives a beautiful car and has a prestigious job. And most likely, she’s amazing in bed.
How well you think of your husband. Managed to attract the attention of such a princess!
If you begin to be overwhelmed by such thoughts, I have a special practice for you, “How to remove the influence of a rival,” which will help you restore your internal balance. You will find a link to this practice . Listen and follow the recommendations. You will be surprised how quickly the effect you will get after doing this exercise.
Trap two: your own underestimation
One’s own underestimation appears against the background of idealization of the mistress. Each of her features and remarkable features will serve as a silent reproach to you. Only a sober look at the situation will help here. Every day we come across someone who is younger, more beautiful, more successful and more experienced than us in certain matters. Don’t fall into stupor and panic when meeting each of them? Think about it, for someone you are an ideal!
Of course, the fact that you were cheated on significantly reduces your self-esteem. But, despite this, you have remained the same, and someone is still jealous of your ability to dress beautifully, put on makeup, and cook culinary masterpieces. There must be a realization that nothing has changed in you personally. If such a situation has allowed you to identify certain shortcomings in yourself, then this is a wonderful opportunity to think about eradicating them. This will help you dispel sad thoughts. Do whatever it takes to help you get benchmarking out of your head. Use the situation to your advantage. This way you can make yourself even more ideal.
Trap three: guilt.
But at the beginning of your relationship everything was so good and beautiful, wasn’t it? But then it all began. Trying to determine this moment of transition, situations involuntarily come to mind in which you were wrong. Somewhere inattention slipped through, there she snapped and created a scandal out of nowhere, refused sex several times, three years ago did not pay attention to his request, etc. But today all these memories begin to swarm in your head, gaining volume like snow a lump that is about to fall apart and cover you with an all-encompassing feeling of guilt.
You are looking with all your might for an excuse for what happened.
The first desire that arises in such a situation is to talk with your husband, confess to him all your sins. Stop! Despite the fact that they are normal family relationships Both partners destroy, but only one puts the finishing touches on them. And in this situation, the main culprit is the husband who cheated on you. It’s very good that you found the strength to reconsider past relationships, identify your own mistakes. But personal guilt is a clear sign surrendering positions and willingness to follow her husband’s lead. What will happen next: excessive helpfulness of the servants, sugary smiles, ingratiation, increased intrusiveness.
Stop before it's too late. Try to sit down at the negotiating table and soberly analyze both your and his mistakes. Minimum of emotions, maximum of sound calculation. Let your husband know that you are ready to make concessions and change, but only with him. Gradually, but systematically, step by step, you and him.
Trap four: my husband is ideal
Cheating is a shock, and no one will argue with that. It happens that fear of loss is the first feeling that comes over you. It is he who instantly erases from memory all past insults that were inflicted on you. Resisting the fear of being alone is a very difficult task. The best memories from your life together come to mind, making you believe in the ideality of your own husband. And here comes the realization that how could you even think about divorce if the ideal man is next to you: the most attentive, gentle, sensitive, caring.
And if he is so wonderful, then how could he cheat on you? How could he do this to you, to the children, without caring about his obligations. All this will help get rid of thoughts about the ideality of your husband. It's enough that you love him and gave him a second chance.
At this stage, it is important not to melt and not be led by your fear. Come to your senses. You are trying with all your might to push back the moment of making a decision, because you don’t know what or how to do.
There are many effective ways How to survive betrayal and save your family. Don't be afraid. You don't need to immediately tear your relationship to pieces and break up immediately. You can make sure that this negative experience you are experiencing, on the contrary, will help you understand each other better.
Trap five: lack of faith in motivation
You ask yourself the question, why did your husband still stay with you after cheating? There can be a lot of options: habits, laziness to change anything in your life, “why, it’s already good,” benefit, pity, etc. Perhaps his mistress didn’t want to be with him, and he just had to return home. Of course, any of these options could be true. But there is another one that a woman under stress is not even aware of. It's about love. No one talks about ardent, vivid feelings, because having experienced them for his own wife, the husband would hardly dare to cheat. But still, without love, a man who has cheated will never stay with the same woman.
Having decided to save your family, you must choose a scenario for your future behavior.
So what motive should we bet on? Pretend to be weak, helpless and push for pity? Also an option. If there is still love for you in your husband’s heart, then most likely he will really feel sorry for you, take care of you... As long as he has enough strength and patience for this. Soon he will get tired of this life, and he will go looking for new adventures on the side. Show how much you and the children depend on him financially? He will understand that by increasing his material wealth, he will be able to continue to have new lovers, although he will try to behave more carefully. Will you constantly remind him of his adventures, making him constantly feel guilty and belittle his manhood? He will simply withdraw into himself and begin to look for ways to prove his worth, not to you, but to another woman.
All these are not the best decisions for those who want to save their family. The ideal option is to strengthen your love. Try to forget the past, forgive the offense. Only with a pure soul can you find a way to awaken your old feelings and become such that your husband begins to admire you again. Over time, he realizes how wonderful, gentle, sensual and luxurious the woman is next to him. And it was precisely this that he could lose, following the lead of momentary attraction. There is a high probability that he will never take such a rash step again.
Betrayal is not forgotten, and this is a fact. Such a blow from such a dear and beloved man unsettles. But having survived this, you can restore your former trust. Time is the best medicine, and the right thoughts and a competent approach will significantly speed up the recovery process.
Now listen to this course “How to forgive your husband”
In addition to forgiveness, you need to restore the relationship and make sure that the question “How to survive your husband’s betrayal” never arises in your life again. I recorded special course“How to save a family and return your husband’s love.” Fill out the form on this page and receive the entire course.
If you have questions about your order, contact the site support service here.
With faith in you and your success,
Maria Kalinina.
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Finding out the cause
A woman who finds out about her loved one's betrayal is rarely able to think rationally. She's covered heartache, a flurry of negative emotions and many different thoughts, the main one of which is “this is betrayal.” Some are heartbroken and endure, thereby allowing their husband to repeat the infidelities, some act blindly, not taking into account many factors that indicate the possibility - such actions are not correct, the problem must be approached competently and consciously. In this situation, it is important to determine the reason why the man committed such an act. This largely determines the scenario for further developments:
- 1. The state of alcoholic intoxication led to a one-time intrigue. In this case, betrayal may indicate a man’s tendency to have affairs on the side, his irresponsibility and promiscuity in sexual relations, then a relapse is very likely. If nothing like this has been noticed about him for a long time, it makes sense to forget this unpleasant event and forgive his partner. Psychologists recommend trying to put aside subjective experiences and talk frankly with the man. Based on the experience of this relationship, knowledge about this person and his behavior after this act, one can understand how large the scale of the betrayal is.
- 2. Search for new sensations, because the wife is “bored” and does not evoke old feelings. This is a betrayal, but both are to blame. Relationships are constant work for both men and women. Being constantly attractive, desirable and interesting is hard work. A woman needs to give an objective assessment of herself as a partner. If the husband’s relationship is short-lived and he repents, then a timely reaction can save the family and prevent an affair on the side from developing.
- 3. Absence sex life with my wife. This is also a betrayal, for which both are also to blame. More often intimate life disappears when a woman cannot afford it for health reasons - if she is pregnant, and the doctor has forbidden sexual relations or during periods of hormonal changes - representatives of the fairer sex aged 50 years and older, experiencing menopause. The ingenuity of the couple in sexual relations plays a big role in the options for getting out of this situation.
- 4. New love. This is the most serious reason for betrayal and, according to statistics, the couple does not have a happy future. And living together after betrayal, even for the sake of the children, makes no sense.
To find out the reason, you need to have a sincere conversation without unnecessary emotions and reproaches. While defending himself, a man is capable of showing aggression and drawing erroneous conclusions about the correctness of his action.
Men often cite a banal lack of attention from their wife and her neglected appearance as the reason for cheating.
Husband's ingenious revenge for betrayal
Decision-making
When making a decision, you need to consider several important facts:
- 1. Is there love - this is the main thing that can save a family. If life without a guy doesn’t seem possible or fulfilling, and even after cheating you still have tremulous, tender feelings, it makes sense to try to continue living together and become happy.
- 2. Having children. Many families for the sake of children, and this was the right decision. Over time, everything was forgotten and forgiven, the right conclusions were drawn, and there were no more betrayals. But many others were not saved by their common children, and then all family members suffered. If spouses love each other and want to stay together, including because of children, this is advisable. If the relationship has long exhausted itself, and betrayal is just one of many problems, then it is better not to force children to watch daily scandals and absorb this model of relationships.
- 3. What connects (except love and children). This question is relevant for couples who are faced with infidelity after 30 years of marriage or more. The children grew up, created their own families, violent passions have long been replaced by regularity and kinship. If remembering the events of common history takes your breath away and the thought of divorce overwhelms you with melancholy, you need to move on. Sometimes couples are connected by common business, financial affairs and goals. Then you also need to weigh everything before making a responsible decision.
- 4. Who did you cheat with? The hardest thing to deal with is cheating with a friend or other loved one. Then trust is lost in two people at once. But it is important to learn the right lesson from the situation and, if your husband forgives you, be more careful in letting other women into the house.
What to do next
Getting over your husband's betrayal is difficult in most cases. A woman’s self-esteem instantly drops and a desire for revenge arises. This is a normal reaction, but harmful and senseless. To recover from this event, you need to adhere to effective advice psychologist:
- 1. If you have been betrayed and cannot forgive, the following will help you survive the divorce:
- Keeping busy with interesting things - allowing yourself to go to dancing, cooking classes, art school - something that will help heal the soul and distract yourself. In addition, new hobbies will expand your social circle.
- Women's joys - shopping, spa treatments, travel, vacations, etc.
- Healthy sleep greatly helps to recover from stress.
- Change of image.
- Focus on your career.
- Communication with children. It will probably be difficult for them to cope with their parents' divorce.
- Communication with a psychologist, psychotherapist, and loved ones will help you not go crazy. It is important to speak out and discuss the problem. Often relief and intermediate solutions come spontaneously after a confidential conversation.
- The most important thing is to learn to trust your loved one again. The worst thing you can do is remember the betrayal, reproach your partner and suffer. The best thing is to spend more time communicating with each other, understand where the relationship has weakened and strengthen it. Tell a man about your desires, ask directly disturbing questions, be interested in his opinion - any manifestation of sincerity will be beneficial. Checks, interrogations, suspicions, although natural in this situation, are inappropriate.
- Take care of yourself. During this difficult period, you need to spend time on yourself. Update your wardrobe, regularly visit a beauty salon, buy sexy lingerie, get additional education, have a positive outlook on the future and improve yourself in every possible way.
- Draw the right conclusions: what could be the woman’s fault (but do not voice this to her husband, otherwise he may take it as an excuse for his affairs), what can be expected from this man.
- Make love passionately. Many people find it difficult to let in a person who has just recently had intimate relationships with another. But both need it. Firstly, liberation in bed increases the libido and self-esteem of the woman herself, and secondly, it is a reason to get to know yourself and your body in a new way, to learn to get more pleasure. Thirdly, any man will appreciate this, and the desire to look for a connection on the side will disappear.
- Add romance to your relationship. Shared bath with rose petals, candlelight dinner, walking around the city at night and passionate kisses will rehabilitate any relationship.
- Don't remember the past. Many people believe that if you stop reproaching someone for betrayal, the man will decide that he can do anything and will repeat the betrayal. But this is a superficial judgment. In fact, a man will be haunted by a feeling of guilt, regardless of whether he is reminded of the offense or not. Only if the wife shows wisdom and generosity, “forgetting” the unpleasant event, will the man appreciate this and repent within himself, trying to beg his partner’s forgiveness through courtship and worthy deeds.
No matter how events develop after the betrayal, you need to avoid falling into depression and despair. Life goes on anyway, and one event should not negatively affect its quality.
There are moments in a woman's life when loving wife finds out that her husband has a mistress, she is ready, out of anger, to turn the whole world upside down, to take revenge on everyone involved in her grief.
Having learned about the betrayal of a loved one, first of all it is worth remembering that life does not end there. Yes, this is an unimaginable test, pain, suffering, but not the end of life, and perhaps even the beginning of a new one, much better life the life you deserve, with a person who is loving and attentive to you.
After all, if you had such a person in your life, he would not have treated you so meanly, and you would not be reading this article now.
What should you do with your loved one, the person you thought was for you?
Having learned about treason, under no circumstances should you:
- Making scandals will only aggravate an already tense situation.
- Even if you love him madly and are ready to forgive him, you should not do this right away, otherwise this will not be the last betrayal.
- Consult with close friends, remember the choice is yours, because it is not your friends who live with the traitor, but you.
- Asking the traitor about the intimate details of the betrayal, believe me, it certainly won’t be any easier because you find out.
- To sort things out with the person your partner cheated on, you shouldn’t humiliate yourself even more.
- Do not rush into the decision to leave or drive away; perhaps, having calmed down, you will change your mind about doing it.
- To cheat out of spite, in this case you will take revenge on yourself, and not on the traitor.
But how can one act correctly and judiciously without succumbing to the above?
How to survive the betrayal of a loved one?
Of course, you need to pull yourself together, calmness is what will save you from making mistakes. If you can’t calm down, keep yourself busy with something, it doesn’t help, feel free to drink something depressant, just don’t get carried away under any circumstances.
You should not start a conversation with a traitor while you are in a nervous state. Having calmed down, think carefully about whether you need this person or not.
Conversation with a traitor
And after making an important decision for yourself, you can start a serious conversation. Try to find out why this happened, what caused the betrayal.
If you decide to forgive the traitor, try to convey to him that this is his last chance and there will be no other chance. If the traitor decides to leave you on his own, you shouldn’t hold him back, much less create scandals, as you won’t get him back.
Remember that betrayal does not happen on its own; it is a consequence that occurs when family relationships deteriorate.
If a family has experienced betrayal and has not broken it to smithereens, psychologists advise that you definitely change something in the relationship, no matter what happens again. So, before making a serious decision, weigh everything, you will always have time to break the woods.
It would be incomprehensible to the woman’s condition if she reacted to such information calmly and indifferently. Then, in fact, there would be no betrayal, where there are no feelings, there is no love, and betrayal without love for your wife is not considered betrayal. 
But, as a rule, the first thing that happens after the facts of infidelity are revealed is hysteria and scandal, which often leads to divorce, division of property, and for some reason many women who have chosen this path then experience a feeling of remorse for what they have done, as if they were to blame for the destruction of the family she, and not the husband caught in treason.
Fear of loneliness, feelings of guilt, and, of course, advice from caring friends lead to the woman deciding to cool down and thinking about how to forgive and understand the husband who has gone astray.
And in this context, “surviving betrayal” does not necessarily mean forgiving and living with him further in love and fidelity; it often means taking a step forward, leaving the betrayal behind.
How to forgive and understand your spouse?
After all, you can forgive, but never forget. Life is given to us once, a second attempt to be happy next life will not be.
When deciding to forgive and accept an unfaithful spouse, you should think carefully about your feelings in the future tense. You can sew up your heart, torn by betrayal, but the scars will remain and will ache disgustingly for the rest of your life, because this person, with his presence in your life, will remind you day after day of the pain that you once had to endure.
Therefore, the right thing to do is to get sick once and leave in the past everything that makes you shed bitter tears and squeezes your heart, remember happiness is nearby, and it’s never too late to look for it, even fleeting joy can erase negative emotions accumulated over many years.
Is it possible to survive betrayal with dignity?
When the fact of betrayal is revealed, a woman needs to calm down at this moment, she does not need to give in to emotions, she should look at the situation with a sober look. If you throw a scandal, it will not lead to anything good.
Before serious conversation you need to find out for yourself: “Do you need him after the betrayal?”, and if “Yes,” then how to live on. After all, not every woman leaves a cheater; for some reason she continues to live with him, endure, remain silent and eat herself out from the inside.
A truly loving wife is ready to do anything to bring her husband back to the family and stop thinking about cheating. She wants him to return and they will begin to live as before.
But before you strive for this, you need to answer yourself the question “Are you ready to live in constant resentment and jealousy? Are you ready to eke out a miserable existence next to a traitor and periodically feel like one of the stupidest and most unfortunate women in the world?”
What should you absolutely not allow?
In any case, it is you who must make the decision; no one will give you an exact answer or algorithm of actions, just stop for a moment and make the fateful decision yourself.
