How to cope with mental pain: advice from psychologists. How to get over a breakup with a loved one easier

This is in an ideal world ex-lovers They part with a smile and promise to be friends until the grave. In reality, it can be painful to see someone who previously gave love and affection, and now put someone else’s photo on their desktop. If the wounds haven't healed, allow yourself to be and don't promise to stay with your ex or former friends. At least until the passions subside and the emotional wounds heal.

Unfriend on social networks

The problem of our time is that every step of a person is captured on the Internet. If your heart is broken, turn the page and don't be friends with your ex on social media. You don’t need to know where your ex-lover spent his vacation, who he went to the movies with, or what gifts his new boyfriend showers yesterday’s passion with. If your hand doesn’t rise to press the treasured button, at least exclude your ex’s news from your feed. And there - time will tell.

Delete saved messages and conversations

New life - clean archives in your phone and instant messengers. No matter how much you regret the past, delete all messages in chats to avoid the temptation to re-read them in a sad mood. Otherwise, drunken hysterics, as well as calls for which you will later be ashamed, are guaranteed. You are both different people now, and there is no going back to the past. It's time to clear your memory.

Delete your ex's number

Intrusive calls trying to explain yourself will not do anyone any good. It will hurt you, it will be awkward for your ex. Delete the numbers of your ex-lovers immediately after. After a couple of months of silence on the air, you may well no longer want to communicate with the one you once passionately loved.

Rearrange your apartment

After a breakup, girls often want to do something with their appearance: to spite their ex, cut their hair or dye their hair daring pink. Not worth it. Instead, rearrange your apartment or at least your bedroom so that nothing reminds you of lazy people. Sunday mornings in bed. No way to rearrange furniture? Buy a couple of new sets of underwear. A new chapter in life - new bed linen. Guys, this won't hurt you either.

Play some sports

Sports will not only help you tone your body, but also improve your mood due to the production of endorphins. If the pain of breaking up is too strong, sign up and beat the punching bag heartily. Naturally, under the supervision of a trainer.

Don't rush to meet others

Spontaneous sex with strangers has never cured anyone from heartache. It will only get worse. Take your time, take care of yourself, the desire to enter into a relationship will come later. Watch all the movies and shows that your ex-other half didn’t want to watch, go to those places where you didn’t have time to go in your relationship. Consider yourself on a 30-day love detox.

Don't whine on social networks

Don't be so quick to tell the world how much you're hurting. The pain will pass, but the residue and glory of the whiner will remain. Leave vague statuses, tearful poems and other vanilla things for teenagers. You are higher and stronger than this. So be it, you can post one photo. But only the one where you are happy and satisfied with life.

Don't analyze the past

“If I hadn’t started a fight,” “if I had become a blonde,” “if I had come home from work earlier” - you can continue ad infinitum. That's it, the train has left. What had to happen happened. Don't overload yourself and don't analyze the past. The best is yet to come.

How did you cope with breakups? Share in the comments!

A person experiences mental pain for various reasons. Some lose loved ones, others break up with a loved one. It is not always possible to suppress sadness and start from scratch. Healing mental wounds requires time, effort and constant work on oneself. A depressed state often results in prolonged depression, so it is important to find a balance in time so as not to aggravate the situation.

Unleash your feelings

Don't ignore the fact that sadness is drawing you deeper and deeper. The heart hurts and the soul cries, this is normal. Turn on a hot shower and cry, beat the mattress, scream, just don’t keep it all to yourself. Try to find the balance that makes you feel as comfortable as possible.

Don’t fake a smile, pretending that everything is fine. Also, there is no need to constantly think about what happened, provoking breakdown. Home meditation or yoga classes will help you find harmony. These directions are created for healing the soul and solitude with one’s own “I”.

In cases where the above methods are not suitable, create a “sanctuary” in your apartment. Set up a cozy corner, hang curtains in pastel colors, buy soft pillows. Obviously, at first you won’t want to go outside for a long time, but you shouldn’t delay it. When the tears come again, go back to your cozy corner and brew a mug. green tea with honey and close your eyes.

Control your actions and mind

There are often cases when a person experiences mental pain and remains in it for a long time. Try to look for a way out so as not to drown in despair. It’s one thing if you decide to wait a week to cope with the torment, it’s another thing when you fall into a prolonged depression.

During heartache, each of us goes through certain stages on the path to healing (grief, anger, indifference, anxiety, fear and humility). Analyze your own actions, think about what helps you move forward.

Perhaps the transition from sadness to dissatisfaction was carried out with the help of physical activity or constant busyness at work. When motivation is found, use it to move on to the remaining stages until you accept what happened.

There are no people who can do without social communication. Family and friends will always support you and fill the void with advice or words of regret. Invite a friend over, cook a delicious dinner or order pizza to your home, watch an interesting movie on a neutral topic. Speak out, ask what she would do in your place, listen to practical advice.

Make it a habit to organize such gatherings every evening over a cup of tea or delicious ice cream. You should not drink alcohol even in small quantities. Under the influence of alcohol, strong emotions will come up that you will definitely not be able to cope with.

If communicating with people is not an option, buy a diary. Conduct a frank dialogue in it, transfer all the pain and accumulated torment to paper. When the time comes and you can let go of what happened, you will need to burn the written sheets and move on to a new stage.

Would you like to keep a diary? It's okay, get a pet. You should not buy a dog if you are not ready for such a serious step. Choose a parrot (preferably a talking one), a cat or fish. The new inhabitant will give strength, as he requires attention, affection and communication. Focus on your pet, take care of it, invest all your love and energy.

Remove material memories

If you are lost loved one, you shouldn’t throw away his things, that would be mean. Collect them in a box and carefully place them in the far corner of the closet. Restore everything to its place when the pain subsides. If you have broken up with a loved one who broke your heart through his own actions, get rid of the “evidence” forever. Take personal items, shaving accessories, and photo frames to the trash. Delete pictures from your PC and phone, erase the number.

If not all items make you remember what happened, sort it. Take the thing in your hand and pay attention to the first associations. Does a wall collage make you cry? Remove and dispose of it. Does the smell of perfume drive you crazy? Remove from sight. Does bed linen cause negative feelings? Leave it. Repeat the steps with each item that misleads you.

Take a break from what's happening

Pick up a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Start watching a new series or find a hobby. Sign up for dancing, go to a trial class in stretching, Pilates or yoga. Call your friends, invite them to bowling, a water park or a picnic. Try to spend as little time alone as possible, communicate with interesting people.

If your professional employment involves an ongoing work process, throw yourself into it headlong. Improve your qualifications or learn a new specialty. Visit distant relatives, take an outing every weekend.

It's good if you have the opportunity to go abroad. It is not necessary to buy expensive tours for 2 weeks; a three-day trip to the sea or to countries with a large concentration of attractions will be enough.

When a person begins to fantasize or imagine good moments, he is automatically healed. There is nothing wrong with dreams, visualize everything to the smallest detail. Imagine swimming in the sea or driving a newly purchased car.

Find 15-20 minutes a day for a flight of fancy. During a short-term stay in the virtual world, the border with reality is erased, existing problems become less important.

Turn on your favorite music, find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Experts have repeatedly proven that music therapy has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and improves mood. Endorphins released fight stress and smooth out difficult perceptions of reality. After 5 sessions, your attitude towards what is happening changes, and strength appears for new achievements.

Avoid sad memories

You have already gotten rid of things that can remind you of what happened. At this stage, it is necessary to suppress negative memories that bring you to your original state. A regular song playing that day or a walk in familiar places can trigger new stress.

It is not forbidden to think about what happened, but thoughts should be directed in a positive direction. If you notice that sadness will soon come, switch to something neutral or cheerful. Go for a walk where you have never been before, go to a river or lake.

Time will pass, you will learn to live with it, you will be able to easily switch from a once painful topic to completely opposite things. Now it seems to you that it will not get better, but this is not so. Soon the events will be in the past, and you will find the strength to move on.

Pay attention to appearance

Get your hair, face, and figure in order. Go shopping and buy beautiful things that fit perfectly. Find an extreme hobby, go swimming or master snowboarding techniques.

You should not shave your head, get tattoos or wear makeup. bright colors. Leave such changes for later. Meet new people, spend more time with them. Such a move will not allow discussing the sad events that have happened every half hour.

Develop materially and enrich yourself spiritually

Master literature on sociology, history, psychology or business. Find a profitable job, set a goal and move forward to achieve it. In order not to relax, make a bet with your friends.

Do not keep emotions in your head; in such cases, there is a risk of depression. Invite your friends over, talk it out, spend time having intimate conversations. Monitor your thoughts and actions, do not force memories. Step back, find interesting thing, go visit relatives or friends.

Video: how to overcome mental pain

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is no less than physical pain. And it doesn't really matter whether your boyfriend suggested breaking up after long relationship or a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing mental wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and go to long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

1. Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you suffering. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with heartache. These feelings are how your brain literally tells you how much something has hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.

   • Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a calm place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelm you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room, or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
   • When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences feelings such as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can identify exactly how you move through each stage of experience, it will help you go through the healing process easier and a little faster.
   • Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find that you don't leave the house for weeks, forget to shower, and life seems meaningless, you should seek professional help as soon as possible. psychological help. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to cope with on your own.

2. Live for today. If you want to deal with all your emotions at once and get rid of your heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to another gradually, and always live for today.

   • A good way to focus on a specific moment own life- is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself thinking about the past again and again, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? is the wind blowing in your face?
   • Don't start coming up with a grand plan to forget the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to cope with your grief, it will happen on its own.

3. Indifference. When a relationship ends or you're rejected, you'll likely feel like there's suddenly a huge hole inside of you. A huge black hole that absorbs all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of immediately trying to fill this hole with something because they are unable to bear this painful feeling. Yes, this feeling causes you a lot of pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.

   • Create a space for yourself where your ex is not present. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Add him to the "black list" in all social networks, otherwise you will one day find yourself looking at new photos on his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup is final, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
   • Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal emotional wounds. When you try to immediately jump into a new relationship to stop feeling the pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it doesn't really help you move through the necessary stages of coping with loss. Your unlived negative feelings will sooner or later return to you, but they will become even stronger and more painful.

4. Tell us about it. You need to make sure you have the right support to help you cope with your heartache. Having strong support from your friends and family, and even your therapist, will help you get back on your feet faster than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the emptiness that your loved one left in your soul, but they can help you better cope with this emptiness.

   • Find close friend or a relative with whom you can talk about your worries, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person or people who can provide you with emotional support to make up for the support you received from your partner in the relationship that ended. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to that person you are trying to get rid of your feelings for.
   • A journal can be incredibly helpful in this situation. It's not only good way giving free rein to your feelings, especially if you don’t want to put the whole burden of your suffering on your friends, is also effective remedy, which allows you to measure your progress. After re-reading old posts, you will suddenly realize that you now think about your ex much less often or notice that you want to go on dates again (In reality, and not just “to fill the emptiness inside left by broken love”).
   • Sometimes you may need to talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is no shame in seeking professional help!

5. Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you constantly come across objects that trigger memories of former love, this will only slow down your healing process. You shouldn't keep the old lounge pants that your ex usually wore after work in the closet; get rid of this trash.

   • There's no need to ritually burn anything that reminds you of your past relationship, especially if those things can be given to people who need them. But you should definitely remove these things from your life, one way or another. Additionally, depending on how bad your breakup was, ritually burning things can release a barrage of feelings that were previously locked away in your heart.
   • Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine that you placed these memories in balloon. When you get rid of something, imagine that the ball flies far, far away, and will never bother you again.
   • If you still have valuable items in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.

6. Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own worries. It also means that you are not drowning in your own misery and self-pity.

   • Take time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulties. Don't focus only on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen to them and help them if they need it.
   • Do volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Offer your help in rehabilitation centers or in shelters for homeless animals.

7. Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine your ex coming back to you and talking about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine your intimacy in detail. Such fantasies are absolutely normal.

   • The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this strict limitation on yourself, in fact, you only think about it all the time.
   • Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day during which you can think about how your ex dreams of getting back together with you. If these thoughts come to your mind at another time, put them aside until the time allocated for fantasies arrives. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put these thoughts off until later.

   Part 2

   Beginning of the healing process

   1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to look for them on purpose. This will help you recover faster.

      • The occasion could be anything from a song that played on your first date to a small cafe where you spent so much time together studying for exams. It could even be a smell.
      • You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happens, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. There is no need to dwell on these feelings and memories. For example, when you come across a photo of you together on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and regretful because of it, and then try to think about something positive or at least neutral. You might think about the new dress you'll wear tomorrow, or how it would be nice to get a kitten
      • This doesn't mean you should go out of your way to avoid these evocative moments. You won't be able to do this. All you need to do is just try to deal as little as possible with things that traumatize you and make you regret the past. You need your mental wounds to heal.

   2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific research have shown that when you listen to such music, endorphins are released in your body, which help you perk up and overcome stress.

      • Try not to include sentimental, romantic love songs. This type of music will not help the release of endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and stir up emotional wounds.
      • When you find yourself feeling sad again, it's time to turn on some upbeat music to perk up your spirit. If you turn on dance music, you can simultaneously get endorphins from listening to upbeat music and from energetic dance moves.

   3. Take your mind off your heartache. After you've passed initial stage Once you've given yourself the space to grieve and deal with your emotions, it's time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity, etc.

      • Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Turn on a funny comedy (and get the added bonus that laughter helps you heal).
      • The more you do to stop thinking about your ex and your mental anguish, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and monitor how much time you spend thinking about your mental pain.
      • Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It could be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these types of distractions do not harm you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to cope with negative experiences. Such a “painkiller” can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous viewing of TV shows or constant presence on the Internet. Or even foods you eat just to make you feel calmer.

   4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that faces you is that the usual way of life that was formed when you were together has suddenly been destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your routine, it will open the door to new habits. There will no longer be room in your new life for the person who broke your heart.

      • You don't have to radically change your life to break old habits. Do simple things, for example, go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; Try listening to a new style of music or discover a new hobby, such as karate or flower gardening.
      • Try not to make drastic changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes in the beginning, immediately after a breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
      • If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even taking a weekend trip to a new city can help you gain a new perspective on what happened.

   5. Don't hinder your own healing. Of course, relapses happen from time to time when you are trying to recover from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can anticipate and thereby prevent them from setting you back in your movement towards a new life.

      • Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say: "Monstrous!" or “Terrible” or “Nightmare!”, you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, try to at least stick to neutral expressions. For example, instead of saying, “It's over forever!”, say, “This breakup was very painful for me, but I will do my best to get over it.”
      • Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't need to drive past your ex's house every evening and see if he has found a mate. Try not to call or text your ex while you've been drinking. Things like this only stop you from moving forward.
      • Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be completely different in a week, month or year. We promise that a time will come when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without experiencing pain.

   Part 3

   Accept what happened

   1. Stop blaming. An important part Your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is useless to blame yourself or another person. What happened is what happened, so you can't do or say anything to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.

      • Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This doesn't mean you have to forgive him immediately, it just means you stop being angry with the person.
      • On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what you did wrong in previous relationships, and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don’t waste time agonizing over your own mistakes over and over again.

   2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different amounts of time for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.

      • You no longer worry if you find several missed calls on your phone from an unfamiliar number.
      • You have stopped picturing the scene of your ex returning to you and on his knees begging you for forgiveness.
      • You have stopped finding associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that you now like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.

   3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed while you are in a relationship with someone and during the first stages of grief after the relationship ends. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time, you felt like you were part of a couple, and then someone who was grieving a lost relationship.

      • Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Play sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting your self-esteem, which may have suffered during a breakup. Determine which aspects of your personality you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive aggressive when you're feeling down, try to work on finding healthier ways to express your anger.
      • Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to cope with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to restore relationships with people with whom you did not have enough time to communicate during the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are truly interested in.
      • Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.

   4. Try not to return to the past. You don't want to interfere with the healing process from your emotional wounds, so don't do anything that will trigger your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be avoided completely, but you can try to minimize the risk.

      • Don't let this person come into your life too quickly, or at all. You will only irritate your own mental wounds and feel your misfortune with the same acuteness. Sometimes it's impossible to remain friends with your ex.
      • If you do do this, don't despair. The work you have done to heal from emotional wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.

   5. Do what brings you joy. When you engage in activities that bring you joy and happiness, you cause dopamine levels to rise in the brain. This is a chemical that helps a person feel happy and fight stress (its level after a breakup can rise to critical levels).

      • Do things that don't bring up memories of your ex. Start doing something new or pick up hobbies you gave up while you were in a relationship.
      • Learn to be happy. People are more willing to communicate with those who are happy because happy people Help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do things that bring you joy and live a life that makes you feel happy.
   • Continue to love yourself, even if it seems overwhelming. In the long run, it will make you stronger.
   • By helping other people, you are helping yourself. Let's people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
   • A good joke will make you laugh even in these difficult times. Even if it seems inappropriate to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!

   Warnings

   • Don't rely solely on our advice. If you feel like you are getting worse, consider maybe you need professional psychological help.
   • There is no need to harm yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.

Breakups are a part of our lives, people break up for various reasons. One of the most difficult experiences is parting with loved ones. Sometimes even the strongest and most strong-willed people cannot bear it and do not know how to forget the person you love.

After all, just recently there was a feeling that this person would be there forever, and life could only be imagined with him. At such moments, it seems that this is a temporary disorder, it will pass and everything will work out. Maybe this is a temporary pause, not a break? But how do you understand: this is the end of a relationship or a necessary pause in order to realize that it is simply impossible to live without each other. How not to make a mistake? After all, it is at such moments that a feeling of resentment, misunderstanding, and a huge amount of mental pain overwhelms you. At such moments, you want to disappear, hide from everything that is happening, forget how horrible dream. I want to quickly get rid of resentment, pain and replace this pain with something or someone. But doubts arise in my head: what if it’s just a misunderstanding and everything will work out? After all, there was a stormy, crazy love... What if, in a fit of emotions, you make a mistake and then regret it all your life?

Be reasonable, do not make decisions in a fit of emotion, but also do not indulge yourself with unnecessary illusions, assess the situation sensibly. After all, the wrong decision can lead to new problems. If you already understand that past relationships cannot be returned, if you firmly decided to get rid of the past, then do it to the end.

How to survive the pain of breakup

It always becomes very painful when remembering a loved one. Try not to return to those memories when your loved one was nearby. The mind will constantly return you to the past; it is not ready to accept what happened. In such situations, your mind becomes a monster, tormenting you again and again, taking you back to the past, tormenting you with doubts, filling you with resentment, blinding you with anger. Therefore, in order not to provoke the mind, get rid of everything that reminds you of the person. Remove photos, delete his phone number, messages, hide his gifts away.

Time always heals, and after a few months you will look at things differently. Any souvenir can become a bright memory of pleasant moments that once happened. But it’s up to you to decide whether to get rid of everything forever or just put it in a distant drawer.

How to deal with the pain of breakup

Allow yourself to cry. There is no need to hide your tears: emotional pain comes out through tears. Don't be shy about it, it hurts you and you have the right to it. Allow yourself to experience with all your might, let all the pain that fills you come out with tears. But try to do this alone with yourself or work with a specialist, because any friend or girlfriend who sympathizes with you, resonating with you, increases this pain, not reduces it. Of course, you need to be close to someone, but try not to sow your pain, the “harvest” will later return to you. Try not to allow yourself to call or text ex-boyfriend or a girl in this condition. Allow yourself to cry with all your heart for a day or two, maybe a week, but under no circumstances allow this condition to become your daily routine for many months.

We cried, we worried, and that’s enough, stop!

After all, everything has its reasons. If the breakup was your fault, realize what you did wrong and don’t repeat it in the future. If the breakup was due to the fault of your partner and he does not want to see and realize his mistakes, it means that he is not yet ready for serious relationship or his character, ego, does not suit you.

The next few days should be spent under the motto: "I'm pulling myself together." Control yourself! Every life experience makes a person stronger. You have already given yourself time to worry, and now it’s time to gather your strength and understand that you are a strong and wonderful person! Of course, more than once you will feel a lump in your throat, but remember: when you break up, you lose the relationship with the person, but not yourself, you have yourself. This means that not everything is lost, although at such moments it seems that you have lost yourself. The time will come, and a person worthy of you will appear in your life.

There is nothing in life that will be with you for life, except yourself. All things and people come and will someday leave your life. Accept it. You need to try not to let the desire (to be together at all costs) take over you if this is no longer possible.

Sport burns away emotional pain

Physical activity helps to get rid of emotional pain and worries. There are three main sources of energy in a person: the soul, the physical body and the mind. Each of them produces and uses a certain type of energy for its own purposes, but when one of the sources weakens for some reason, our body can take part of the energy from another source. But it also happens that one of the sources goes wrong. It turns out to be an excess of some energy. In such cases, you can redistribute excess energy (a strong emotion is also energy). If you are not familiar with techniques for managing your energy flows, you can use a simpler method. Burn energy in a common way, that is, physical activity.

Keep in mind that first the body uses its energy, and when you have already selected the energy that is stored in the body for immediate expenditure, only then will your body begin to look for all available sources of energy. This usually starts to happen after 30-40 minutes of active load. If you are not a trained athlete, by this time you will start to get tired. Emotional energy will begin to burn out when your body is tired and it seems that the muscles can no longer work - it is at this moment that the reason you started this happens. And the longer you load your body, the easier it will be emotionally for you later. For some, once is enough, for others it will take a week or two to load themselves up. It all depends on how strong your brain is, how much emotional energy it has generated.

There are other techniques and ways of working with emotional pain. There are a lot of working techniques on the Internet, you can choose any of them for yourself.

• Techniques for working with your own energy - “How to get rid of resentment.”
• Technique: “Tell it like it is.”
• Technique: “Write a letter.”
• Breathing from “mental pain.”
• The EFT technique is a technique of emotional freedom.

Emotional pain comes from our ego.

The human ego creates certain conditions in which our mind begins to generate emotional energies. It is these energies that cause us pain, or rather, they themselves are emotional pain. They arise due to the dissonance of reality with the desires of our ego. You should also know that when the ego provokes, for example, resentment, the mind begins to generate the emotion of resentment. At this moment, the soul and body begin to resonate, the grievances of the past awaken, usually every person has experiences of grievances in the past, so they begin to resonate, intensifying the experience.

To avoid pain, we need to harmonize our ego with our life, or learn to control our mind. Don't let it generate what we don't want to experience. To one degree or another, both options can be used for yourself. You just need to understand how and learn how to do it.

But for now, your mind brings you back again and again to the memories of your loved one. Any thing, word, event or even song can throw your mind into memories and experiences. In such situations, it is important to learn to keep the mind calm, and re-education of the ego is the next stage of work.

Energy connections with humans

When people come into contact with each other, they activate energy connections. And the denser, emotionally brighter and longer the contact, the stronger these connections. For example, energy connections along the chakras are used in love spells. Such connections, like the ego, provoke the mind to generate experiences. Any person (no matter whether he is a psychic or not) feels such connections, just not everyone is aware of them. You may be aware of the mental pain that these connections bring, but you may not be aware of the connection itself, you may not see it.

Many people can cope with their mind if they know how to handle it correctly. But with energy connections it’s more difficult; here you need the intervention of an empath or parapsychologist.

Energy connections after separation work in two directions.

• First. They energetically and emotionally drain both those in this connection.

• Second. They act like a narcotic substance that affects the will of a person. In practice, the energetic connection is very reminiscent of the presence of a person nearby, as if the person you are trying to forget is always next to you, in the same room, although he could be anywhere at that time, even in another city. Such connections often provoke the mind to new emotions, and this can continue indefinitely. Trying to get rid of them without knowing how to do it, you can only strengthen them.

Probably, many will agree that any work should be performed by a specialist who knows what and how to do it. Energy connections can be neutralized by a person who sees, feels them, an empath (this is a psychic who is able to feel the feelings and emotions of people and work with them), a parapsychologist. By removing such connections, we eliminate another source of provocation for the mind, and uncontrollable dependence on a person is removed. Everyone can do the rest themselves if they wish.

Certainly, emotional experiences come in varying degrees and neglect, sometimes a person exhausts himself so much that he is no longer able to do anything on his own, search for and select some techniques for himself. In such cases, it is better to contact specialists. A parapsychologist will be able to select the appropriate technique for you, remove the already accumulated negativity, restore and harmonize your field without using magic. Don’t push yourself to the point of complete exhaustion; the longer you wait, the harder and longer the recovery process will be.

Regular failures in love and a prolonged lack of career growth, sad news about the loss of a loved one and oppressive loneliness are the prerequisites for the emergence of severe pain in the depths of the soul. This phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or mixture. The consciousness of a person who is depressed acquires a comatose state.

It will not be possible to diagnose the problem that has arisen, because no medications have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Calming capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the current situation, harming the mind damaged by grief and experiences. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the best way to bring a loved one back to full life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of it?

Mental pain occurs in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you prepare yourself in advance for various options development of the situation, it will be much easier to realize the accomplished fact

How to cope with mental pain: a step-by-step guide to action

To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who will correctly diagnose the cause of spiritual experiences, offering his own healing method. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of severe pain that consumes a person’s consciousness every minute. The main thing is to follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:

• Identify the cause of mental pain.
• Do not deny the presence of depression, accepting past events as an element of the past.
• Realize the scale of the situation.
• Determine the consequences by projecting the most “scary” picture of events.
• Relate your results to the scale of the situation. Are realities not so harsh?
• Change your usual environment, gradually arousing an interest in life in your mind.
• Get rid of reminders of the event that happened by “opening” a new page in your own existence.
• Enjoy positive moments while avoiding negative emotions.
• Learn to live in a new format, becoming happy.

It is difficult solely with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with the damaged consciousness of a close friend and lover, you will have to be around regularly, regaining lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred towards the events that happened. Do not transfer this range of emotions onto yourself, because your loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.

If you regularly train emotional stability, you can prevent the occurrence of mental pain. Rational perception of accomplished events is a reliable basis for a balanced and invulnerable person

Options for solving the problem at different ages

If you want to help your loved one get rid of mental pain, be sure to take into account his age. At different periods of life, people’s worldviews have a clear similarity, so the methods for solving the problem are identical:

• Age 5–10 years.

Children have spiritual experiences due to unfulfilled promises of parents who did not fulfill the child’s cherished dream. Encouraging this type of behavior is not an appropriate decision for adults, but you need to help the child during such a period. To “free” the offspring’s consciousness from, an unplanned trip to an amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer exploring the world a portion of ice cream or new toy– most importantly, a moment of surprise that evokes positive emotions in the child.

• Age 10–18 years.

During such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. , taking over the consciousness of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from realizing himself in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of the person who is in adolescence for exciting activities. New circle communication will allow a teenager to painlessly experience a depressive state.

• Age 18–30 years.

To restore emotional balance, you need to regularly be around an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after unsuccessful love relationship ending in divorce. Discord in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the worries are varied. However, the method of treatment is always the same - heart-to-heart conversations and a reliable “shoulder” of support.

In an attempt to help, do not become a “hostage” of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You must listen, giving him the opportunity to talk, but not agree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your devotion by restoring your loved one’s faith in people and a bright future.