Why do many of us, dreaming of a magnificent wedding and endless family happiness from early childhood, end up becoming permanent mistresses of married men? Oddly enough, for quite a large part of the fairer sex, such a fate seems to be predetermined by fate itself. Of course, it is not their fault that by the time they met, the man they loved was already married. Sometimes potential lovers do not know about this, and sometimes they do know, but, completely captured by their feelings, they attach little importance to the fact of marriage. And without resistance they accept the status of “mistress” married man", rushing into love like into a pool. They decide to live for today, and then - come what may! But anything can happen. After all, a man is married, which means he is not free, and he usually tries to build a relationship with his mistress without harming his family. Not every woman can withstand this. So how should you behave if you suddenly (or not suddenly) managed to become the mistress of a married man?
What does it mean to be the mistress of a married man?
Why does a woman become a mistress? After all, the trap of an affair with a married man is very insidious. After a romantic period of relationship that completely sweeps aside any sober reasoning, a bitter epiphany sets in: “I have nothing to dream about, because he has someone else.” And burning, unbearably painful jealousy awakens. Otherwise it can not be. Yes, usually married men tell their mistresses that both the physical and spiritual connection with their spouse has long been lost. But unless a completely naive lady believes that her beloved does not have an intimate relationship with his wife. And right to these intimate relationships his lawful wife has much more.And there are also holidays that a married man spends with his family. There are calls from your wife during your meetings and his slightly guilty and rather gentle response: “Yes, dear, I’ll be there soon!” There is a nervous glance at the clock at the most inopportune moment and there is much, much more... All this screams from all sides: “He is not yours! You are just constant mistress, but not the wife! This fact becomes painful, and rare meetings no longer bring the satisfaction that was at the very beginning of acquaintance. Somewhere inside, the question that sweeps away all thoughts first quietly matures, and then grows to gigantic proportions: “Will he get a divorce or not? Does he really love or is he just playing with me?
It would seem that you don’t have to be a genius to foresee such a development of events, risking becoming the real mistress of an unfree man. We will not talk about temporary, one-night girlfriends of such men - such relationships, if they bring suffering, are only in exceptional cases. And they are not considered promising at all. So why does a woman complicate her life so much, consoling herself with illusory dreams and often realizing that all her hopes are nothing more than illusions? And that the mistress of a married man can hardly be sure of a happy future with him?
Do married men leave their families for their mistresses? It happens. But quite rarely. And the point here is not that they do not have any feelings for women on the side. It happens that they experience it, and even very strong ones. But even representatives of the stronger sex who are extremely in love with such a woman turn out to be weak if the issue of divorcing their wife arises very acutely. For many men dramatic changes in life are tantamount to a natural disaster. And arrange it with my own hands they don't strive at all. Therefore, in order for them to have a thought about whether to marry their mistress, the thought of divorce must first arise. In other words, a married man should be ready for divorce even before meeting another woman. IN otherwise the question “should I go to my mistress?” will not appear in front of him right away, and perhaps will never arise.
So why do women so thoughtlessly rush into the arms of a married man if deep down they understand that the romance will be difficult and often futile? The reasons vary. 
Types of mistresses of a married man
In general, there are several types of mistresses:- Masochist lover This is a woman who is impressed by the position of the victim. In a relationship with a married man, she understands everything, accepts everything and agrees to everything. A masochist with sympathy, tenderness and love listens to a man’s outpourings about how unhappy he is in his family, while perceiving him as noble and strong man. This perfect lover a married man who sincerely believes that her lover does not divorce his wife and endures “this misery” because she feels obligated to her children (parents, sick spouse, and so on).
She is convinced that “you can’t build your happiness on someone else’s misfortune” and has absolutely no intention of destroying someone else’s family. A man really likes to play nobility with such a woman, and from time to time he leaves her so that she can finally arrange her personal life. Being an ideal lover, a devoted masochist suffers greatly during such periods, but does not even think about trying to create her own family. And when her beloved returns, she accepts him again, shining with happy eyes. These are very convenient types of mistresses, relationships with which men can last for a long time. for long years.
- Hysterical lover This woman likes thrills. Typically, hysterics include bright, self-confident, independent ladies who can easily arrange their personal lives. If they want. But they don't want to. They are adventurous and cannot imagine their lives without risky situations, which is why they choose married men as objects of passion, and those who are capable of constantly creating these risky situations. The psychology of this kind of mistress is based on high level aggression, and she keeps her chosen one in suspense all the time, either flirting with someone in front of his eyes, then disappearing for several days, then calling his wife... The fantasy of a hysterical mistress has no limits, and she can throw out anything.
Not every man can handle an affair with such a lady. Relationships develop quickly and rapidly, without delays or equivocations. A lady with the psychology of a hysterical lover is not capable of maneuvers - she needs victory at any cost, and she goes to her goal over the heads. Numbers with a sense of duty and responsibilities to children do not work here. And married people should stay away from her and run headlong, but it doesn’t work! Attacks of aggression in a hysterical lover are replaced by attacks of incredible tenderness, and such carrots and sticks hold a man back better than any waterfall of continuous caresses. But since he had already stepped into a minefield, it meant that he needed a powerful surge of adrenaline. And a married man will be drawn to such a woman until he is completely exhausted. When such a moment will come, no one knows. The most paradoxical thing about the behavior of hysterical mistresses is that if a married man suddenly decides to start a family, they immediately break off all contacts with him. Because the object becomes uninteresting.
- Lover-eternal bride This is a woman with an exquisite nature, incapable of pragmatically perceiving the world. She is looking only for a prince, and discovers all his traits in a strong, brave, but, alas, married man who strenuously plays the role of the one who is needed by the eternal bride. However, often he does not play this role at all. It’s just that in a relationship with a mistress of this kind, any man involuntarily becomes indulgent. Otherwise it can not be. After all, she is so trusting and naive and reveres him so much that he always feels like a noble knight with her! The eternal bride, looking at him, experiences serious delight: here he is, her prince! And at the same time he does not think at all about the fact that he has a family. And, by and large, she doesn’t care, because next to her is such a reliable, experienced and elevated man!
In reality, the situation in relationships of this kind is somewhat different. The eternal bride-to-be is looking for someone who would take responsibility for her future. She cannot and does not want to make any decisions on her own, therefore, as a protective wall and support, she is quite happy with a married knight. The basic life rules of a lover-eternal bride are the desire to prevent destructive reality from entering her fragile inner world. She almost sincerely believes that since her beloved is nearby, it means that they have only a bright future ahead of them. The “eternal bride” prefers not to think about his wife and children. And if one day this fact forces her to change her behavior and thoughts, the young lady is amazed, frightened and often begins to behave like a complete hysteric. She showers the man with reproaches, calls his wife, complains about her deceit to those around her, sobs and appeals for sympathy.
- Lover-mother This woman is a real lover, next to whom a man rests both soul and body. Tired of solving endless everyday problems and tired of his wife’s demands, he finds peace in the house of his mistress-mother. No one gets into his soul, no one forces him to earn money, take out the trash, nail a nail... Shrouded in care and affection, he seems to dissolve in the arms of his mistress, feeling completely safe.
The rules of a lover-mother are based on the principle of “do no harm.” She will not pester him with questions about divorce, will not ask about where he has been for so long, will not call his wife and will not reproach him for anything. He will feed you nourishingly and tasty, put you to bed, give you unforgettable sex... It would seem like a complete idyll, get a divorce and settle here forever! After all, at home there is a grumpy wife in a washed-out robe, serving store-bought dumplings, and children requiring regular attention. So no, no! He returns to his wife and children to fray his nerves, and then comes here again to come to his senses. Why?! Yes, it's very simple. Men understand that all this calm comfort can turn out to be a carefully built trap. And if they finally fall into the tenacious clutches of their mistress-mother, who knows what her care and attention will then turn into... Perhaps a new family life will be much worse than the previous one. So why take the risk and get a divorce if it’s already good?
These are the most common types of women who, without much moral torment, get involved with married men. There are still women who are dissatisfied with family life, women who only need sex, women who crave money and so on... But we are not talking about them now. We are talking about those who, one way or another, are pushed into affairs with married men by nothing more than the desire for love. All of them, deep down in their souls, cherish the hope of becoming the wife of their chosen one, and very often this desire does not come true.
The psychological background of such connections is, as a rule, different. Such a complex object of desire is chosen by a woman because she subconsciously strives to overcome obstacles. Overcoming is accompanied by internal tension, the tension is relieved by a meeting with a loved one and appears in separation from them, then it is removed again, escalated again, and so on. And often the main role is played not even by the man’s attitude towards his mistress, but by the very fact that this relationship is forbidden.
However, among the mistresses there are also women who have managed to seriously fall in love with a married man and really count on the fact that someday he will completely belong only to her. In the event that she belongs to the category of masochistic lovers, dreams can come true only if legal spouse she will leave her husband. Hysterical lovers practically cannot count on a successful outcome of the relationship. What man in his right mind would agree to have his life turn into a living hell? Even if he gets divorced, he will try to find a quiet haven for himself, and not rush headlong into a stormy sea! Do they marry eternal brides? Only if love for a man is one of his life priorities. Which, I must admit, is quite rare. But a mistress-mother has a good chance of becoming a legal wife if she can prove that her devotion and care are sincere.
Conclusion: in order for an affair with a married man to end in marriage, you need to make a lot of effort. Which ones? Here are some time-tested tips for lovers. 
- If we try to combine the devotion and undemandingness of a masochistic lover, the emotionality of a hysterical lover, the naive romanticism of a lover-eternal bride and the reliability of a mother-mistress, the chances of marriage with a married man will increase. This cocktail has a truly enchanting effect.
- If we do not try to replace a man's wife, his interest will grow and, in the end, may turn into a very strong feeling. This means that we don’t wash, cook or clean in front of him. A man comes to his mistress’s house to take a break from everyday problems. And he should be greeted by a beautiful woman loving woman, capable of giving moments of happiness.
- If we don’t throw hysterics when our loved one suddenly celebrates a meeting because some urgent need to be resolved family issues, – we knew what we were getting into. Therefore, endurance, endurance and endurance again! She will be an excellent assistant in building the foundation on which a serious relationship is based.
- If we do not allow whining in the case when the ringed friend cannot come to an anniversary, birthday, some kind of celebration or hang around on the weekend. If he spends all weekends and holidays with his family, that’s normal. The fact that the family (for now) has much more rights to its loved one is an indisputable fact, and one must come to terms with it.
- If we don’t get used to a man, considering him the only one in our life. He will go to his wife. And if you accept the idea that this particular person is destiny, and cultivate it, in the end the habit will make the separation very difficult, and the separation will be burdened with the torments of jealousy. Let us not forget about ourselves when we suffer alone when our loved one is not there. We find interesting activity, we meet with friends and girlfriends, have fun in some company and in no case torment the phone, calling him for no reason.
Be that as it may, the fate of a mistress is an unenviable fate. Even if as a result she turned into a wife, there is no escaping the man’s past. It happens, of course, that it remains in the past and is forgotten over time. However, this happens quite rarely. Usually communication with ex-family does not stop, especially if there are children left in it. A woman who caused a divorce needs to be prepared for the fact that her loved one will spend time with them, call them, and help. And to the fact that his former wife will not leave him alone. She will ask for help, take an interest in the affairs of her ex-husband, and make sarcastic remarks about him. new family and so on. And if the lady is also unprincipled, she will begin to shed dirt on all corners. I must say that many will sympathize with her. And you will have to be patient, wise, understanding. Is there enough strength for this?
So maybe it’s better to find someone who is free and create your own world with him, devoid of outside interference? After all, no matter what the statistics say, there are plenty of worthy bachelors around. You just need to take a closer look at them and open your heart. Then everything will happen by itself. If you get out of your head the thought that it is impossible to find your man now (they say that all normal people are busy and in general they are very rare), you will certainly find him. Albeit with some shortcomings, but good husband needs to be sculpted. It doesn't fall from the sky. After all, the family lover was different before his marriage. It is likely that if my wife had not tried, we would not have paid attention to him, who knows... Yes, the heart chooses itself. If you let him. And if you put a taboo on family men, your heart will obey. And will only be drawn to the one who is destined only for us.
No one plans to get into a dependent relationship voluntarily. It’s unlikely that since childhood you wanted to become fixated on someone, abandon all your interests, suffer and wait for everything to change. But life works differently.
Love for a married man has always been shameful, condemned by society, and a taboo was placed on relationships with someone’s husband. That's how we were raised. If you fall in love with a married man, you are a homewrecker, a destroyer of the social unit. But it happened: you are a mistress.
Stop reproaching yourself, look at modern realities, which are not customary to discuss with colleagues over lunch, so as not to cause another portion of condemnation.
The vast majority of young families are formed according to the following scenario: they met at 20, got married six months or a year later, gave birth to a child at 22, and couldn’t cope with their marriage at 23. adult life and played enough. Feelings and love pass, but the family remains due to habit, fears and obligations. A man takes a mistress, his wife either endures it, losing herself in worries, or also starts a new relationship - on the side. This may take years.
Is a relationship with a married man doomed or is there a chance?
You fell in love with a married man. The main thing is to stop blaming yourself and giving up on further happy life. If a married man is in love with you, is there anyone to blame? Try to figure out why he appeared in your life. It is possible that its appearance was not accidental.
Ask yourself 4 questions
Why did I end up in this connection?
You know that being a mistress is bad, but every day you firmly connect yourself with a married man. What motivates you? Are you ready to “fight for him” and build a future together or do you want to live in the moment? Respond by looking at things unemotionally.
What do I get in this relationship, and what do I give to my partner?
You are free individuals who feel good together or the relationship is built on a dependency or passion unknown to both of you, perhaps there is material interest or other benefits.
Did I consciously choose this type of relationship?
Were you scared off by the future man's presence of a wife, or was it easier for you to associate yourself with a married man, so as not to be responsible for a serious relationship?
Can a relationship with a married man make me happy in the future?
How do you see the development of this relationship, do they have a future, or do you understand that when the passion subsides, it will be difficult for you to accept his life with two families?
People joke about dating a married man only in jokes. In fact, being a mistress means constantly having an internal struggle and thinking that the man you love has a wife, that the relationship is doomed from the start, and still going on secret dates with him, attacking your own self-esteem.
From a psychological point of view, women who choose a relationship with a married man over and over again have internal problems. At a minimum, because entering into a relationship with a married partner means recognizing your “second role”, being prepared to be hidden and asked not to write, not to call, not to wear perfume.
Depending on your relationship with a married man, you begin to justify him, look for solutions for him, believe that for your sake he will leave the family. But why does he need this if the only suffering party here is you, not him?
To be the mistress of a married man means to take on the role of a strong woman, not burdened with problems.
You can increase your self-esteem by realizing that you are better than others: “After all, he runs to me, and she sits at home and doesn’t know anything, which means I’m more worthy.”. But the paradox is that after every date a man hurries home to the one who is waiting at home. And when he leaves, the sense of self-worth instantly fades away. Are you really happy with this?
Do married men get divorced for their mistresses? Stop fooling yourself. Living someone else's life or being a detail in someone else's relationship means wasting your own time. Will a self-sufficient, self-respecting woman really agree to a supporting role, be ready to hide and not appear in those moments when her married partner is with his wife? Listen to yourself, what do you think?
Relationships with a married man: commentary from a psychologist
When you start dating a married man, at first you feel at ease, feel increased attention and please your self-esteem by the fact that he prefers you to his wife, he has fun with you and he is deceiving her, not you. But time passes, and it becomes more difficult for you to share him with his legal wife, from whom for some reason he still has no intention of leaving.
Then falling in love risks developing into addiction, driven by jealousy, selfishness, the desire to achieve one’s own, the desire to prove that you better than wife. By becoming dependent on a relationship with a married man, you inevitably find yourself in a scenario of abandoning yourself, focusing all your interests only on your partner, and looking for meetings with him in any way.
When strengthening ties with a married man, the following appear:
- decreased self-esteem: all the energy goes into trying to meet, call, see each other, “fit” him into your space. You see yourself as a “backup option.”
- internal dissonance: oscillation between “love” and “hate”. Quarrels become more frequent because he leaves the family.
- intense jealousy. If a partner cheats on his wife, then who knows if he is cheating on you too?
- loss of interest in life, work, meeting with friends, internal destruction of personality.
- justifying yourself.
Even if you voluntarily entered into an affair with a married man, knowing that he will not leave the family, you gradually still begin to claim the No. 1 place in his life.
This is how female psychology works
First, you prove to yourself that everything suits you: “I don’t need a wedding, I just want to be near you and love you,” then you gently and unobtrusively voice what you want, and as a result, tears, depression and demands to leave your wife begin.
And if you manage to convince a man to leave his wife, will you be satisfied? Is there room for new suspicions ( “If he cheated on me, he will cheat on me too”), mistrust ( “Meeting secretly or wants to get back to ex-wife» ), past grievances ( “I was with her for so long and didn’t divorce her right away”)? So, out of desire for romantic love and a full-fledged family, you drive yourself into dependence on experiences, reducing relationships to “no”.
Of course, it happens differently. When you are in a relationship with a married man, devoting time to him, you are following your own choice. And, if you really want there to be a sequel, bother doing 2 things:
take off your rose-colored glasses.
“He’s ready to do anything for me,” he just can’t leave the family right now,” “He’s in a difficult situation, I’m ready to wait because we love each other”;
take time for yourself.
Your development, expansion of your sphere of interests, awareness of yourself as an individual, and not as an attachment to a partner. Don’t immerse yourself in his interests, don’t live his life, and especially don’t try to solve his problems.
Have you decided to take a married man away from your family?
Why doesn't a married man leave his family for his mistress? Because he created an ideal model of life: he saved his family, thereby protecting himself from the attacks of society and loss loved one, avoided material difficulties and at the same time leads a parallel life, where he receives care and warmth, fresh emotions and the realization of his own goals.
At the same time, he can experience emotions for his mistress many times stronger than for his wife. Driven by passion and love, he promises her (sometimes even sincerely) that love is enormous, “a little later” he will leave the family for her, and “those golden mountains in the distance are yours.”
What's happening in reality?
Most often - nothing. Everything is locked at the level of promises, relationships stall at this phase and, without developing (and relationships without development are doomed), they move into the phase of disappointed expectations and accusations and later end.
If you are determined to become a legal wife from a mistress and take your husband away from your current wife, you have a chance. But not in the case when you voluntarily agreed to a “supporting” role for years and suddenly decided to become the main one in his life. No matter how well he treats you, no matter how pleasant your meetings are, he is comfortable with you as a mistress, and he will not radically change his life for your sake. The psychology of a married man’s relationship with his mistress is based on his stability, and changes contradict it.
If you still dare to take a man away from your family
There are chances to take a married man away from the family, even if they are small. Often a mistress appears in men whose family life has not pleased them for a long time. And love on the side is a way to get pleasant emotions without ending the relationship with your spouse, since drastic changes are too scary.
By acting carefully and slowly, you can influence a man, proving to him that living together with you will save him from existing problems, and will not add new ones.
Direct demands, quarrels and reminders of his promises will not lead to divorce, but they will show that relationships with you in the future will involve problems, scandals and nerves.
How to behave with a married man so that you have a future? The psychology of a relationship with him is not very different from the behavior with a free partner, if your plans are to build strong, trusting relationships.
Respect his decisions, give him the choice and the right to act as he sees fit, do not put pressure on him and do not impose your opinion - it is useless.
How to change from a mistress to a wife: a comment from a psychologist
Set a goal - not to impose yourself, but to make him want to be with you. Focus on yourself, not on him, his family or your relationship. We are talking about expanding personal space, about your own plans, about development in directions that do not concern your relationship. By doing something to “build up” your personality, working on the psychological restoration of a true attitude towards yourself, and cultivating healthy egoism, you will restore the balance between personal space and relationships. An internally free person is always more attractive than someone who focuses all his interests on one person, all the more limiting him and negatively influencing his life.
Don't judge his wife
Even if he speaks negatively about her. She is his choice. By showing that you value your partner’s opinion, you influence the subconscious, he feels like a recognized leader, and this radically influences further decisions.
Just ask yourself whether you are ready to build further relationships according to such a scenario, to adapt and drown out even own feelings for him? It is possible to take a man away from the family. But are you really ready to compete with another girl and waste your energy on destroying your family? Psychologically, will it be easy for you to accept him and not allow the thought that he will find a mistress for himself while he is already your husband? Achieving a goal is a normal desire. But how correctly did you set this goal?
Pregnancy from a married man
Some girls do not want to look at the situation realistically, and having become fairly “involved” in a dependent relationship with a married man, they decide that The best way lure him to your side and force him to leave the family - get pregnant. Various tricks are used, including deception.
However, before considering latest ways to take a man away from the family, calm down, weigh everything that is really happening in your situation: his relationship with his family, with his children, with you, take a realistic look at your life together. You are his mistress, and it is unlikely that his mistress’s pregnancy will be a significant reason for leaving the family (especially if he already has children).
Pregnancy from a married man in most cases will only bring problems. Moreover, both for you and for him.
What do you want to prove to yourself, him or his wife by getting pregnant? How will your self-esteem grow if you are ready to take such drastic measures? Think about a child who will initially be a partner's attachment tool. And about his children, whom you think he will leave.
If the pregnancy is unplanned
He promised mountains of gold, you lived happily for a year or two or three and were happy with the meetings, sometimes he said that he would definitely leave the family for you, but there was no right time. When he heard the news about your pregnancy, he said that he loved you as before, and... gave money for an abortion. How to cope with a situation when a pregnancy from a married man turns bad?
You don’t want this, you consider the child the fruit of your happiness, and you cannot believe that he acted so treacherously. You try to analyze and come to the conclusion that “yes, now is really not the time, besides, he loves me and speaks about it directly.”
Understand that it is up to you to decide about the fate of the child. When you started dating, were you happy with everything? Start from this. He will not leave his wife, will not become your legal husband, and, in best case scenario, will support you financially. Are you ready for such a life? Do you agree to raise a child in a single-parent family?
Just stop flattering yourself with the hope that everything will change with the advent of a child. It will change, yes, but it won’t make it easier, that’s for sure. After all, many women raise children without men.
If you value a child, then you should only be glad that it is from the man you love, even if this love differs from its standard understanding.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that your child is more important to a man than his existing children. Don't think that once you give birth, you can manipulate him. The good thing about a married man’s mistress is that it’s easy to take a break from family problems, get distracted and then return home. If she creates difficulties (and a pregnant mistress is a big difficulty for a married man), then the very meaning of a relationship with her is lost.
Do you want this child?
Are you ready to give birth to him for yourself, without associating the birth with your married partner? If yes, have no doubt, you will hold out, survive this difficult period of torment and draw conclusions. It is possible that your priorities, goals, and, possibly, your man will change.
Should a married man give birth: a comment from a psychologist
It is important to clearly understand that a child is not a way to tie a man to you, that his decent fatherhood in a legitimate family does not mean that he will treat your child with the same reverence. Whether to give birth to a married man is only your choice; here you cannot hide behind your partner’s excuses and the thirst for mythical happiness. Giving birth to a man while remaining his mistress is a psychologically difficult task. If you perceived your partner as a patron, afraid of your own responsibility, then now you will have to grow up and be responsible not only for your life, but also for the life of another person.
Don't paint a picture in your head where it's just you, him and your child. When you realize that there is another family in this picture of the world, you can accept correct solution and avoid emotional breakdowns, depression and neuroses.
How to end a relationship with a married lover
If:
- It is psychologically difficult for you to continue a relationship with a person who does not plan to leave the family, despite all the assurances.
- Or you finally realized that your relationship with a man ended emotionally a long time ago, but for some reason you are holding on to it.
- You don’t have the strength to break off a dependent relationship; you are ready to be content with the illusion that you are loved, just so as not to be left alone.
- You understand that the relationship is futile, but you become more and more attached to your partner, clinging to rare moments when everything is fine.
The time has come to part!
The main problem of girls who decide to end their relationship with a man is that they want to prove something by leaving: “Let him feel that he cannot live without me”, “I’ll leave, he’ll come to his senses and bring me back,” “He’ll understand that it’s better to be with me, and he’ll leave the family.”. Understand that your care should not be directed at your partner, but at you. If you made a conscious, informed decision to leave, then you did it because the current course of things no longer suits you. By returning your partner after a breakup, you will only prolong this nervous period.
Understanding what you get and what you lose in a relationship will make it easier for you to make a decision. “They give me emotions, love and care” is not the answer you should give yourself, it will only keep you stuck in a dependent relationship.
Time to question yourself
The feeling that someone needs you is not a reason to continue the relationship. Evaluate all the disadvantages without making excuses or trying to prove to yourself that you are satisfied with everything.
- Are you okay with being hidden?
- Are you happy that your future is vague or completely unrealistic?
- That you will never go on vacation together or plan a weekend together without taking a third person into account?
- What is your beloved man? serious relationship with another woman, even if he says he doesn’t love her?
He - married man, his well-established life consists of frameworks and rules, and he will not change it, even if it does not completely satisfy him. It’s easier for him to have a new mistress without complaints.
If you decide to break up with the man you love, it means that you are tired of justifying yourself and him without receiving anything in return.
Be a lover family man- the path to a dead end. Continuing a painful relationship is also a dead end. It may be longer or shorter, but it will not lead you to a happy future. Eventually, you will come to the questions: “Why did you need all this?” and “How to live further?”
It is difficult to stop loving a married man because you are accustomed to an emotional, mysterious dependence on him. But dig deeper. Remember your feelings when after meetings he went to his family or when his wife called him. Did you feel better than her at that moment? If he didn't value her, would he hide you? By recognizing the actual emotions that you received in the relationship, you can set yourself up to stop depending on a married man.
Understand also that the connection with him may drag on for years, but there will be no development. You will get used to the role of a mistress, you will take it for granted, but is this how you want to see your life? He will not leave the family for you, realize this. And even if you decide to accept it this way, how ready will you be for such a model of life? Look at it from all sides: from yours, from his, from friends and parents, from colleagues. Ready?
Match promises and reality
Healthy relationships are built according to the scheme: “personal interests of the first partner + personal interests of the second partner + common interests of the couple.” What common interests will arise over time, what goals will unite you if your main goal is to hide the relationship and be together in secret?
Getting out of a relationship with a married man is difficult, just like leaving any other dependent relationship, primarily because of your own fears and doubts. You make an attempt to leave, but fall into a series of worries, looking for ways to ease your morale, but it seems to you that only he, the culprit of your problems, will help. And everything begins in a new way, with a heap of old grievances and misunderstandings and a new round of problems.
Open your eyes
Compare your dreams and hopes with reality. You want to be with the man you love, receive care from him, you want to develop a relationship and, later, a family. The partner promises that it will be so, that living together with his wife is a temporary obstacle, he has not loved her for a long time and sexual contact I haven't been with her for a long time. You wait and believe because you rightly believe that relationships cannot be built without trust.
Now look at reality. Are you getting, albeit gradually, what you are striving for? He strives for yours life together? If you are wondering how to break up with a married man, apparently, reality and dreams still differ.
How to break up with a married man: commentary from a psychologist
Remember: no conflicts, external factors, other people will not pull you out of a protracted relationship. Only an inner attitude and working on your own goals and understanding their feasibility will help you get out of an addictive relationship with a married partner. Perhaps you are driven by fears or do not want to take responsibility, but only internal changes can improve your life.
Break up your breakup with a married man into 3 stages:
Talk
A maximally honest conversation with direct questions about the future of your relationship will eliminate illusions. Set deadlines and specific actions. The goal is not to hear once again that everything will work out, but to determine your personal attitude to what was said and what is actually happening. If you see an opportunity to continue the relationship “in a new capacity,” take this chance, but determine why you are continuing and what exactly you want to achieve, in what time frame you need to achieve it. If there is no opportunity, and all that remains is the promise of mountains of gold, break up.
Understanding.
Relate what you hear to your vision of the future. Imagine yourself in this relationship 5 years later. You’re not getting any younger, you can’t turn back time, but you don’t want to let it go. If you understand that you will break up anyway, why are you delaying this moment for the rare calm of “now”? Remember past relationships, problems: you painfully let go of most of them at one time, and today it’s easy for you to remember them. Why do you consciously go into suffering and carry the burden of current hopeless relationship to the future?
Shifting focus from relationships to yourself.
If it’s hard for you to give up your partner overnight, use “switching” techniques. Continue communication with your married partner without directing efforts to get rid of the role of mistress. But gradually look for new activities, interests, set personal goals outside of relationships, even if they are to the detriment of them. Especially if they cause damage! By complementing your personality, you inevitably leave the space of dependence on relationships and become not part of them, not part of your partner, but an independent person.
At this stage, it is important to accept your feelings (love, selfishness, painful addiction - it doesn’t matter), but consciously begin to focus not on them (or how to get rid of them), but on something from a completely different plane. Over time, the psychological stress that arises from constantly twisting the situation in your head will weaken.
Be honest with yourself and your partner. Your task is not to prove to him your strength, independence or superiority, but to achieve your own peace of mind. When you are ready, talk to him, tell him that you are ending this relationship not in a fit of emotion, not because he is guilty of something. The reason is the lack of a future together and your justified desire for stable happiness. Ask not to keep you because you want to build a full-fledged family in the future and think that you deserve it.
“I understand everything, but...”
If you (consciously or not) became the mistress of a married man, start by asking yourself why this happened. And then decide what you want to achieve. If you feel that you need help, talk to a psychologist: working together with him will help you better understand the situation and find a comfortable way to resolve it.
All topics of the article -
1. If you decide to become the mistress of a married man, then remember that you can remain in this role forever. According to statistics, only 3% of men leave their families and leave their wives to marry their mistress. The rest prefer to change the latter, remaining “faithful” family men and fathers.
If so, then immediately give up blackmail, persuasion and attempts to prove that you are the best, and live the way you live. Get the most out of these relationships, or at least get rid of loneliness for a while.
2. You must remember that married men (no matter how much they earn) love to give gifts to their mistresses. Therefore, since they won’t marry you anyway, at least take advantage of this - find yourself a richer man, and rejoice at every gift as if it were the first and last in your life. Only with such a reaction from you will the man’s generosity dry up only when he loses interest in you.
3. Many wealthy lovers simply love to arrange the fate of their mistresses. And if so, if they suddenly send you to study, or offer you a well-paid job, don’t say “no”. Lover will leave, but education and work (or at least an entry on your resume) will remain. And this is not so bad if you look at it soberly.
4. Remember that in affairs, married men are looking for something they don’t get at home. Therefore, you will always have to play a strictly defined role: act like a fool, engage in only certain types of sex, always sit at home and wait for him. There may be many options, but whatever they are, any deviation from the once and for all established rules will push your lover away forever
5. No matter how much you would like to, try not to date several men at once. It’s better to be patient and find yourself one, but the best one. This will pay off both financially and morally, because there is nothing worse than dodging, hiding and lying. And men are not such stupid creatures as they try to pretend, and almost any of them will immediately understand if you suddenly have an affair on the side.
6. Always remember about the “rainy day”, the moment when your lover leaves you. Therefore, if you live exclusively at his expense, then try to ensure that by the time of the breakup you have accumulated enough funds to begin, if not completely independent, then at least a calm and leisurely search for a new man.
7. Men are suspicious creatures, and therefore it will always seem to them that their wives know much more about them than they let on. Therefore, they will always ask you (or even demand) to comply with some kind of secret code. Do not resist under any circumstances. Do everything as you are told. Doesn't set up her lover with a chance meeting or a random call. He will not leave his wife, but most likely he will leave you. If he doesn’t leave you, and you even make peace, then you’ll have to forget about gifts and trips abroad for a long time.
8. Remember that you should always, under any circumstances, be better than his wife. This will not increase your chances of marriage, but it will strengthen your relationship with your lover many times over, and since theirs, so will yours. financial situation. Unless, of course, you are a fighter for clean relationships with married men.
9. Break up easily. No hysterics or tears. There is nothing worse than a guilty man. You don’t need him to come to you again and again, hoping to make amends for “his guilt”? You need to improve your life, and not drag around dead and going nowhere connections. Therefore, break up once and for all, and if a man tries to meet with you again, then let him understand that a repetition is impossible.
10. Never allow one lover to “bequeath” you or transfer you as a thing to another man, otherwise you risk ending up in the role of a prostitute who is worth almost nothing, which means she does not need to be given gifts and does not need to be won. Always remember that what men value most is what they had to conquer. Therefore, even if the initiative in your new relationship belongs to you, always make sure that the man gets the impression that he conquered you, and that if he had not tried, you would never have become his... mistress.
Popular wisdom says that a woman should be a caring mother in the nursery, a friendly hostess in the kitchen and a passionate lover in the bedroom. And the first, and the second, and the third can be learned. But while we still agree to learn the basics of cooking or home economics, we categorically refuse to study sexual science. “Women's Passions” suggests throwing away all stereotypes and trying to become the ideal lover for your man.
“You are not a woman! You are an exception!
Everyone who has been seduced wants to seduce himself.
Marlene Dietrich
First you need to answer the question: “What is she like, an ideal lover?” What attracts her? And why do many men believe that a bad mistress is a hundred times better than a good wife?
1. So, the ideal lover knows exactly what her partner wants . She knows how best to caress him and what to say. Of course, this knowledge does not fall on her “from the sky”; she achieves it through long conversations “about it”.
The mistress radiates desire, and therefore becomes an object of sexual attention for people of the opposite sex. She does not have sex “for company,” but with pleasure and joy. She is an uninhibited woman and boldly tries new positions and new places.
2. She is well-groomed, charming, brave. Enough smart , it’s not for nothing that history has brought to us the parable of Napoleon. Once he asked his adjutant to find him a lady for the night, who must be smart. “For mercy, sir, why does a woman need a lot of intelligence in bed?” - he was perplexed. “And who will I talk to during the breaks?” - Bonaparte replied.
Magnificent lovers were Cleopatra and Josephine, Lilya Brik and the Marquise de Pompadour. You can read their biographies at your leisure and try to imagine yourself in the place of one of these great women.
3. A mistress allows a man to feel like a real macho, and he, in turn, gives her the incomparable feeling of a seductress. Therefore, such connections, as a rule, are long-lasting - no one wants to break such a successful union.
4. A mistress differs from a wife in that she considers a man a holiday - while for his wife it has long become commonplace. With his mistress, a man finds himself again: he becomes the smartest, sexiest, passionate and generous.
Here's what Lilya Brik said about this: “We need to convince a man that he is wonderful or even brilliant, but that others do not understand this. And allow him what they don’t allow him at home. For example, smoke or travel wherever you want. They'll do the rest good shoes and silk linen." It was to her that men said: “You are not a woman, you are an exception.”
Do you want to be the “exception” for your man? Tired of routine sex? Then on to the next chapter!
From the dance of shaking knees to self-confidence
You can escape from a tiger, from an earthquake or a typhoon,
but not from the woman who decided to take possession of you. Jewish proverb
Much has been written about the art of seduction, which a mistress must master perfectly. Some advise you to dance a striptease, in others - to visit a sex shop, in others - to watch a porn film. You can try all this, but now we will focus on something else.
No matter how wonderful the idea is, striptease can turn into a dance of shaking knees, and watching pornography can turn into humiliating copying of poses (often backbreakingly acrobatic). This must be avoided at all costs. Your main assistant on the path to the ideal lover is self-love.
5. Need to love yourself unconditionally and selflessly, once and for all. Try going to the mirror and saying to the reflection: “I love you.” Does not work? Ashamed? It's okay, it will pass. After a week or two of hard training, this phrase will seem easy, and you will feel like a geisha: mysterious, inaccessible, “a thing in itself.”
6. Next step - love your body . Understand that model parameters“90-60-90” is not an end in itself in life, and an ideal figure will not bring happiness on its own. You need to love your breasts, your hips and your hair. Think about it: would you love your man if he was disgusted by his torso? I'm sure not. You need to learn how to treat your body from men - they are happy with what they have and do not have complexes about or without reason.
7. Yours eyes should glow , as if you are filled (and so it is!) with some kind of internal energy and strength. Those eyes are captivating. Imagine that there is a fire burning inside you, and don’t forget about it when you shop, walk, take a shower. Remember that the ideal lover radiates desire - so you try to “radiate” something.
These three simple steps will give you confidence and relaxation. After you have passed them, you can proceed directly to seduction.
"Thank you" for every night of love
Secrets of the ideal lover
When your husband finishes eating, do not let him go to bed before you.
You need to get there first in order to invite him.
He must understand that you are finally ready for him.
Leave only a small bandage on your hips, the most beautiful one,
and always wear pearls at your waist - they are needed for seduction.
And then, when everything happens, you can ask him for the moon:
he will go look for it for you!
Khadi
8. The ideal lover is not only well-versed in matters of sex, she also knows how to create a special atmosphere. In ancient treatises, attention was paid to everything: dinner, incense or aromatic oils, environment, clothing.
These details play a very important role. Creating an atmosphere means creating the mood for the entire evening . Try experimenting with lighting: a red lamp instead of a regular one can turn the evening into a volcano of passions.
Hang it in the bedroom and place it on the floor and large beds erotic photos (can be from your archive), and if there are none, then buy an erotic album. You can look at the "before" or "during" photos. Either way, they will fulfill their role and fuel your passion.
Meet your man in a negligee, but with some erotic detail : This could be a long string of beads around your neck or a rose in your hair. Before this, warn him with a call or SMS about a surprise of a sexual nature. This is especially necessary if your man is a big conservative.
9. Surprise a man an unusual dinner. If earlier you ate hastily and semi-finished products, now prepare full-fledged snacks and salads. Sparkling wine is welcome, but in reasonable quantities. Experiment with tequila - you can lick the salt from anywhere. The main thing is not to overdo it with alcohol.
10. If everything goes as it should, then your man will get turned on very quickly. Your task - stretch out the pleasure for a long time. During sex, take a break, rest, change positions. You can even talk, but not about household chores and especially not about world news, but about sensations and feelings. Finally, tell us where you should be stroked, touched, pinched and what you get pleasure from.
11. After the peak, gently hug your one and only thank him for this night of love.
12. After such an “outbreak,” even old relationships flare up with renewed vigor. However the ideal lover does not stop there - she experiments with a man . Of course, you won’t be able to do this every night (and you don’t need to, it will quickly become commonplace), but from time to time you need to pamper yourself and your loved one!
Yana YANOSHEWSKAYA
We meet to bring each other joy. Our relationship is mutual and can last as long as we both want it to.
We don't owe each other anything.
Each of us can end a relationship at any time.The myth that women only need money was invented by men who have no money
Many women I know believe that dating is good because by dating for a short time, we expose the part of ourselves that our partner fell in love with. There are connections on the side who are motivated by money, gaining status, building a career. But very often these relationships are built on the great power that holds two loving hearts in one palm. But in any relationship it is important to hear yourself, only then can you understand yourself.
Mistress - from the word love
How unpleasant it is for a woman whom Fate has brought together with a married man to hear. And if she is married or both have a family and love becomes a secret, a problem, a pleasure - how difficult it is for people in love, right?
Very often a “mistress” is a second-class woman. Society considers a mistress immoral, promiscuous, and a scoundrel. No one is condemned as much by human rumor as she is. A homewrecker, a scoundrel, a hunter of other people's husbands. In a word, a mistress. She gets everything: attention, gifts, love. And what remains for the legitimate and once beloved wife? Just be patient and wait for her beloved to lose his temper and return to his native land. But is it worth looking for the truth? Whose side is she on? Everyone has their own truth. Personal. This is a threesome tango, and being the mistress of a married man is not the greatest holiday in life. Although any situation ultimately turns out the way you feel about it. But it is not for us to talk about morality and rules, it is not for us to judge and pass sentences; the truth is known to no one except God.
You are single, he is married
You fell in love with the classic father of a family with children! And he doesn’t look like a person who has a family in every district. You fell in love with each other for the first time in many years and did not notice how the dance of intertwined souls and bodies turned into a long romance.
You will not be envied, many say, you are just a spicy, spicy seasoning for bland family dishes. Many feel sorry for him that he fell into a trap sexual desire and psychological comfort. He immediately said that he is married and has children, but there are things that do not suit him in the family. Then he said that he loves you, but he could never hurt his wife... and leave her, leaving the children. Most likely you kicked him out after that, but about 2 weeks later he returned. Passionate, hungry for you...
Almost every woman in her life has been in the role of a mistress at least once. I am writing to those who heard the long-awaited word “beloved”..., but could not change anything. How many sleepless nights and shed tears, feelings fluctuate from love to hatred. He is married and will never be yours, but he is more than just a date for you. You trusted him, sincere and dear, and this is an unacceptable luxury for a woman at all times.
Now you are no longer a mistress, but a woman who is yearning and believes in fairy tales, if you choose the role of a mistress and are ready to leave everything as it is, not hoping for marriage, well, that’s your right.
Why does a woman need this?
Any woman entering into a relationship outside the family does not give away her love as alms, but looks for a winner. Either he falls in love or he has fun.
Why does a woman accept the advances of someone else's husband?
Busy and don’t want to build difficult interpersonal relationships
You’ve already “got married” and you don’t have the desire anymore, so you consciously choose such a role, since you don’t need him in the role of a husband.
He's fun to be with and puts on great performances in bed, but it's NOTHING to have anything in common with
Do you think that connecting your life with just one man is “clipping your wings”?
Gray family everyday life gives way to passionate relationships
I want to be happy and change the status of “nobody needs a woman”
Are you looking for the love that can transform your life, which you have dreamed about all your life?
Sleeping for money and connections
Why does a man need this?
Falling in love helps to overcome a psychological crisis, seeks change, romance is a great chance to change the monotony of everyday life, a man can become a free and flighty young man again, even for 2 hours a day
A man must assert himself, that is, displace all doubts about his masculine viability, since many past victories are already behind him.
The mistress will provide him with interest in life and self-respect, and he will love her - his life and himself - again. It also satisfies needs - emotional (to be desired) and sexual (to feel delight or to be cured of impotence).
There are not enough new sensations. In the midst of complete well-being and stability in life, he wants to create obstacles and inconveniences for himself, combined with pleasure, and satisfy the need to overcome newly created difficulties. Secrets and intrigue on the side excite a man no less than sex.
A mistress is a great opportunity to manipulate time. Old age is approaching, and with a young woman you can return to the good old days of your personal life. Or you want to happily kill time with youthful trepidation and fervor. He is inclined to believe that the best events in life are unplanned, so you should not count on him to warn you of his arrival. He is free, and what does he care about your affairs? Doorbell. He thinks about himself, catches up with his youth and revives it. What do you have to do with it? Throw away the unwashed dishes and jump on the bed of love (otherwise he will change his mind)! The man has come...!
He is driven by the desire to take revenge on his wife for betrayal or for her preoccupation with herself and inattention to him. He, my dear, increases his self-esteem with you and is psychologically compensated because you create comfort for him and stimulate him to live, exalting a man and loving unselfishly, but at the same time he has no obligations to you.
With you, that is, on the side, he realizes his sexual dreams: he can engage in perversions like “sado” or “maso”, since he is not allowed at home.
He is convinced of his exclusivity, craves admiration and scores points among friends by demonstrating success on the women's front, if he fails on other fronts, for example, at work. Sometimes a man takes a mistress only because all his friends have one.
Sometimes a mistress becomes a manifestation of a man’s misogyny, because in life he seeks to humiliate and insult a woman. Cheating for such a man is a kind of aggression: this is how he hits the psyche of two women at once and gets pleasure from it. One sobbing person at home is not enough for him, it would be nice if there were more!
And a man can also feel blissful when two women fight for him; he feels like the center of attention. He gets more pleasure from female rivalry than from the charms provided on the side. If his mistress loses control of his nerves, he will immediately change her and will certainly inform his wife about this, and the wife will begin to attract more attention from him, even if it is an ordinary scandal,
Who is she, the ideal lover?
Advantages and disadvantages. Perhaps, after our conclusions, someone will think about whether the game is worth the candle, and perhaps it will make someone think and give up. After all, this is a very serious game, and the stakes here are human destinies.
The ideal lover is free woman, allowing you to manage your feelings and emotions without regard to others. She is a holiday for her chosen one.
The ideal lover often loves herself more than her man. By giving pleasure, she receives it herself. She cannot imagine her life without pleasure. The relationship itself tickles her nerves; playing on the verge of a foul brings an amazing burst of adrenaline. She provokes him and gets turned on by it herself, adding spice to their already hot relationship. She assured her lover that he was amazing, unique sexual partner. She mastered the art of seduction one hundred percent and not in order to keep him or conquer new spaces in his heart.
All women are lovely
and gives them beauty
love of men.
(A.S. Pushkin)
Mistresses - slaves
In fact, lovers are very dependent on the object of their love. Their lot is waiting and endless patience. Judge for yourself: after all, a married man doesn’t have much time left for “lefty” adventures.
First of all, work. A real man works all day (you need to provide for your family and contrive to give gifts to your mistress, and so that the wife does not notice the “holes” in the family budget).
Secondly, family. Most men do not want to traumatize their wives with the news of their rival. Therefore, they try not to deviate from the usual schedule of life: to work at 9.00 - lunch at 14.00 - home at 19.00. Of course, late “meetings” and “meetings with business partners” can happen, but when they take place six times a week, and even if after them the man’s clothes smell of perfume, then even the least jealous wife becomes suspicious. Therefore, in order not to encounter an “iceberg” in the form of his legal half, a man is forced to schedule, cancel, and reschedule meetings with his mistress, and she, in turn, only has to wait, wait, and wait again.
Mistress: continuous anticipation
The worst thing for a woman lover is lonely weekends, holidays and vacations. After all, a married man must spend all this wonderful days holidays exclusively with family.
And "most the best woman in the world,” who “is the only one who understands him” (that is, his mistress), only the words are intended: “Well, you understand... I have to... Next time I’ll arrange such a holiday for us!..” And the lonely woman believes and does not believe him at the same time.
As a result, she spends the weekend in the company of her adored cat, frantically running to the phone every time it rings: what if it’s her beloved who somehow managed to get rid of his “harmful wife” and wants to come for tea. But next to the expectation of an ordinary call, a GREAT expectation also lives in the heart of a woman-lover.
She hopes that one day he will go to her forever. The worst thing is that the heartthrob lover almost never admits that he is not going to leave his family.
And weak-willed men will constantly appeal to the pity of their lovers: “Don’t leave me! I can’t talk to my wife now - she’s sick! And the day after tomorrow she has an exam at the traffic police (three months of classes with a driving instructor flew by so quickly). And in a month my son turns ten years old. Well, you understand, I can’t do this... Wait a little longer!”
And she waits. He waits patiently. And when the wife gets better, and when she passes her damned exams, and when her son turns ten... and fifteen... and twenty.
But as soon as the mistress tries to start serious conversation that she is no longer a girl, that she wants to have a family, a son, to celebrate his birthdays... the man immediately gives another “defensive” speech and... she agrees to wait “a little more.” Flowers as a reward expensive cosmetics and a romantic dinner.
Mistakes of a wife and mistress
- Hysterics
Wife. Tears, of course, remove stress hormones. And tears flowing picturesquely from the corners of the eyes make a woman helpless, fragile, and a feeling of guilt of unprecedented strength arises in a man’s soul, but let’s be objective: our women still don’t know how to cry beautifully. Or they can, but only on screens. In reality - whistling sobs, streams of tears, throat wheezing, a red nose, swollen eyes, broken dishes, shaking a child and a frying pan - and a husband who understands that it is better to run away from here, and as soon as possible.
Mistress. It's too early for you to be hysterical. You knew what you were getting into. If you really want to cry, practice letting out the aforementioned picture tears. God forbid you from even a hint of hysteria. Hysterical, most likely he had eaten to capacity at home. And if they cry there and break dishes, they cry here and, at best, just cry, without damaging property, then where should he go? What if, again, they don’t cry there at all? Then your tears will not even have time to dry before the amanth will rush to seek peace and quiet under the wing of his wife, who has suddenly acquired dignity.
- Guilt
Wife. Yes, he is to blame. I’ll tell you more - he knows this and he has to live with it all his life. Moreover, if he is a sensible person, then he adequately assesses the degree of his guilt, and for the “spoiled” three years of his life he will not rush to build a mansion on Rublyovka. Agree on reasonable moral and financial compensation. For yourself, for your children. If he has problems with an adequate perception of the world, pedaling the feeling of guilt can, of course, become a restraining factor, but only from a normal man will your spouse turn into a hunted creature with a feeling of acute mental disorder against the backdrop of an ever-increasing sense of guilt. It will end with him confessing to organizing the Judeo-Masonic conspiracy, the assassination of Kennedy, and you will bring him parcels to the neurosis clinic until the end of your days.
Mistress. The degree of his guilt is no greater than yours. Of course, if you entered into a relationship with an unfree person with with open eyes. It’s unlikely that he’s ever been so guilty of anything before you. And when trying to evoke this not at all wonderful feeling in him, he may think about it. By the way, it is possible
fraternal effect. The more you try to make him feel guilty about you for some wrong worth attention things, the more strongly the feeling of guilt towards the family he left behind will be activated in him. “Yeah,” the man will think, “here they blame the diamond for the wrong size, but over there they spent their entire student years in tattered shoes and didn’t say a word.” And if the wife is a competent manipulator, then instead of blaming him for something, she will begin to actively feel sorry for him. And you. And him along with you. Can you already guess what will happen next?
- Total control
Wife and lover. Sniffing, rummaging, continuous monitoring of phone, computer, pockets, neighbors, friends... the list women's mistakes infinite. A person who is deprived of personal space sooner or later comes to the reasonable conclusion of eliminating the reason for violating his personal boundaries. Telephone and mail are still very intimate things. And a man who works surrounded by more than one woman may smell of someone else's perfume for completely innocent reasons. And what exactly do you hope to find there? It is worth remembering that whoever searches will always find, and think about whether this is exactly what you want.
- Blackmail by a child
Wife. A child is not a bargaining chip. And under no circumstances should it become a tool of manipulation. Psychologists all over the world unanimously say: a child who becomes the reason that two people are forced to live together, grows up, acquires numerous complexes, and his childhood is far from happy. Better a loving set of estranged parents than life in a constantly tense atmosphere
Mistress. Not a single child in the world has kept a single man - our mothers love to repeat this phrase. Learn it by heart. And look at the recommendations for your wife, they apply to you too.
Don't look for people who don't lie - they don't exist. Look for those who deceive, but do not betray - you can deal with such people.
