• When to switch to tactile contact. Tactility - sexual sensitivity

    17.07.2019

    It involves the touch of one person to another. In fact, this is the very first method of communication available to people, because when a person is just born, he is not yet able to perceive auditory and visual information adequately, unlike tactile sensations. Some psychologists believe that it is at this stage of communication that the foundations of the future human psyche are born.

    Types of tactile contacts

    Traditionally, tactile contacts are divided into several types. First of all, these are the so-called “professional” touches. Doctors, massage therapists, stylists, tailors simply cannot do without tactile contact in their professional activities. As a rule, most people perceive such contacts calmly, realizing that they do not contain any additional information.

    According to psychologists, women tend to perceive tactile contact more positively than men. Because of this, a positive reaction to touch is called “feminine.”

    The second group includes ritual touching. We are not talking about mystical practices, but about a completely familiar handshake or a greeting kiss on the cheek. It is known that shaking hands, for example, appeared as a means of demonstrating and friendly intentions, but over time this greeting touch has become an almost obligatory ritual.

    Finally, the most extensive area in which tactile contact is used is the area interpersonal relationships. Touching here is a manifestation of affection, sympathy, kinship, sexual desire. This could include hugs, kisses, a friendly pat on the shoulder, or gentle stroking. The presence of stable tactile contact of this kind is effective marker, indicating close relationships, for example, between and.

    Tactile contact may indicate social status. Touching is most often allowed by those people who occupy a higher position in society, for example, a boss can pat a subordinate on the shoulder.

    Everyone enjoys being paid attention to. Tactile contact is an integral part of any close interaction. Of course, business relationships hardly involve strong hugs, but friendly meetings, as a rule, cannot do without them. Every person, one way or another, wants to feel needed, in demand and understood.

    Tactile-visual contact helps alignment trust relationships between partners, teaches them to be lenient and attentive. Only by looking into the eyes of your interlocutor can you fully verify what feelings he actually experiences.

    The essence of the concept

    Tactile contact is a special form of interaction in which effective communication occurs between people. Agree that it is much easier to convey some important thought to a person if you touch him. Each of us is very pleased when he is appreciated and expresses his feelings with the help of strong handshakes.

    What does tactile contact mean? Most often, with its help, people express their emotions aimed at a specific interlocutor. The desire to take your hand and stroke it is associated with the need for understanding, which we all need so much. If a person is absolutely indifferent to another, then he will never touch him under any pretext. Closed people, as a rule, avoid tactile contact and are afraid to show it.

    Feeling safe

    Look at the woman holding a child in her arms. She just glows with happiness! She is not afraid of any obstacles, nor is she afraid of the prospect of losing her individual prospects. A woman-mother always sacrifices something for the sake of her baby: work, time, relationships with friends.

    In the mother's arms, the baby feels protected from all adversities. Her gentle palms will lull him, caress him. It is tactile contact that provides a child with a sense of security from everything in the world. This is the most powerful weapon in the world against any antisocial behavior. It has been noticed that many illegal acts are committed only because no one cared about such individuals in childhood. A mother’s love creates the child’s soul and forms his trust in the entire world around him.

    If a mother devotes insufficient time and attention to her offspring, then there is a high chance of developing an unsociable, aggressive or withdrawn person. No one can replace a mother's love for her baby. One can only imagine how lonely and unwanted the orphans feel.

    Showing love

    When we touch another person, it is as if we are telling him: “I care about you.” Anyone who loves necessarily strives to show his affection not only in words. How can you express your feelings? With a glance or touch. Tactile contact between a man and a woman implies a deep feeling of each other at all levels. Sometimes it is enough to look into the eyes and say a kind word, otherwise only careful handling and tactile warmth. Each of us wants to feel that he is loved and cared for.

    Expression of confidence

    In fact, we only allow ourselves to be touched by people we can completely trust. And this is by no means accidental. This is how our psychology works. Tactile contact is a very important and significant thing in everyone’s life, so it should not be avoided or tried to be pushed away. There are people who really don’t like hugging, even with loved ones. Such manifestations indicate that not everything is so smooth in their lives, there are internal problems and contradictions in interaction.

    Trust is expressed through free tactile touches and stroking. Taking a person by the hand means showing special warmth, spiritual closeness, and a desire to help. If we want to calm a friend or relative, we hug him. And this almost always has a positive effect on a person, allowing him to calm down. The fact is that hugs open the heart and help restore spiritual closeness and trust if they have been lost for some reason.

    Relationships between spouses

    The interaction between husband and wife is a special moment that causes many different debates. Family conflicts- the most powerful in terms of impact. It is believed that it is in relationships with the most dear people we learn important life lessons, without which our personality would not be fully formed. After all, no one can become happy alone. The participation of a partner and the presence of a deep relationship with him are always required. And here you can’t do without tactile contact.

    The spouses know each other like no one else. It's not just about individual character, manners, habits. Each of us has our own weaknesses, ailments, and then being around loved one can influence our state and attitude.

    Sexual interaction

    Tactile contact with a man necessarily includes touching. When two people decide to devote their lives to each other, over time they know well what their partner likes and are able to guess his mood. Physical intimacy is impossible without a great sense of trust in your spouse. Both men and women have equal needs sincere love. But not everyone, unfortunately, knows how to correctly express their emotions. Every person wants to feel significant and loved.

    Relief from stress

    When you come home after a whole day of work, it’s so nice to know what awaits you loving family. A hot dinner, attention and care - this is what your partner expects. With the help of tactile contact, you can free yourself from stress, find peace of mind, and throw off the burden of problems and fatigue. Nothing invigorates a person more than the knowledge that someone needs him, his opinion is valuable in itself and important.

    Tactile contact is a real salvation from stress. When we touch a person, he always feels how important a figure he is in our life. Even relationships between friends and girlfriends can be very close if there is room for mutual hugs and pats on the shoulder. Sometimes tremendous support is required and tactile contact is clearly indispensable. The more emotions we learn to show in life, the easier it will be for us to build interactions with other people.

    Nobody likes cold and indifferent people for whom saying an extra word is a problem. Everyone wants to feel a certain amount of support and protection from those who are constantly nearby. Any relationship is built on mutual trust and common interests. It is difficult to imagine that friends will tolerate a nervous, hot-tempered person around them, from whom nothing but trouble comes.

    Instead of a conclusion

    Tactile contact is present in almost all forms of interpersonal interaction. The deeper and better relationship between people, the more handshakes, hugs and a completely conscious intention to be close to each other in their communication. Often, a person’s self-confidence is formed directly under the influence of how significant he feels in the company of relatives, friends, co-workers and, of course, family. Happiness depends on a circumstance that allows the individual to fully express his feelings.

    The development of communication technologies, which provide the ability to communicate using electronic means, is aimed at bringing people closer together and gives loved ones the opportunity to see and hear each other from different parts of the globe. But right now, despite the achievements of civilization, we, more than ever before, feel loneliness And emotional emptiness.

    Remember Juan Mann, founder of the Free Hugs movement, who suffered so much without human contact that he offered to hug strangers on the street? Try to compare yourself to Mann. How often do you feel lonely, craving more tenderness than you receive? Maybe you want your spouse or partner to show more and better love? If any of this sounds familiar to you, then you are experiencing a common psychological problem, known as tactile hunger.

    For normal functioning, we need to satisfy hunger, thirst and regular rest, but this list of needs is rarely mentioned tactile contact That's why we often neglect the importance of hugs, handshakes and kisses, even though research shows that affection is right behind food, water and rest on the list of needs. Touch is essential because it brings an emotional and physical sensation that cannot be achieved any other way. Just as neglect of physiological needs leads to harmful consequences, tactile hunger can have a devastating effect on health: over time, anxiety increases and depressive thoughts appear.

    Harry Harlow studied newborn monkeys weaned from their biological mother. They preferred mannequins that were made of soft material, although they did not provide them with adequate nutrition. The dummy, which could provide them with enough food, but was made of wire and steel, was rarely chosen by the cubs.

    As one might expect, the monkeys’ desire for emotional comfort exceeded the need for food. The same goes for people. During World War II, children who found themselves in orphanages without maternal affection soon died.

    Of course, there are times when, as we grow older, we ourselves resist contact because we strive to separate ourselves and gain independence. But even then we experience tactile hunger, and its main consequence in the future of life is the pathological feeling that we are not worthy of love.

    A recent study of 509 adult men and women examined the mechanism of tactile hunger and associated social and health problems. The results were unexpected. People with high level People with tactile hunger are less happy, more lonely, more likely to experience depression and stress, and have poorer overall health than people who are not deprived of affection. They have less social support and lower relationship satisfaction. They are more likely to experience anxiety disorders and other secondary immune disorders (acquired rather than inherited). They are more prone to alexithymia, a condition that reduces the ability to express and interpret emotions. Finally, they tend to develop a detached lifestyle with little chance of building secure and lasting relationships.

    These findings do not establish that tactile hunger causes all of these negative states, only that people who experience rejection are more prone to them. If you're one of those people, chances are this evidence doesn't surprise you. Physical contact is necessary for healthy image life, and we suffer when we don’t get it.

    Even married couples suffer from tactile hunger due to a lack of genuine affection. For example, a husband may pay more attention to his career than his wife, and a wife may be more interested in the lives of her friends than her husband, with corresponding consequences in emotional expression towards each other.

    Sociologists have found that residents of the United States and Great Britain suffer from tactile hunger more than anyone else in the world. Those least affected by this problem are Greece, France, Italy and Spain. In the Mediterranean, it is normal for people to kiss and hug when meeting and parting. When traveling to African countries, you may find that strangers always ready to invade your personal space with a hug. In comparison, in American society the topic of touching is taboo due to the fine line between friendly touching and harassment, so from an early age they are encouraged to stay in their bubble.

    Dr Tiffany Field, who has spent many years studying the benefits of human touch, explains:

    “Many forms of touch help relieve pain, anxiety, depression and aggressive behavior, lower heart rate and blood pressure and improve air circulation in asthmatics; Boost immune function and promote healing. So many benefits and no side effects!”

    She and her colleagues found that children whose parents showed less affection were doomed to grow up to be more verbally aggressive than children whose parents were more affectionate. She explains that animals with sensory deprivation eventually develop aggressive behavior, and humans face the same consequences.

    Fortunately, you are not doomed and do not have to endure tactile hunger forever. Each of us has the opportunity to receive more love and tenderness. Remove it right now mobile phone and share this moment with a loved one.

    Article prepared By materials:

    • Michael Gregory, Skin Hunger: 3 compelling ways to overcome loneliness. Self-development for introverts and highly sensitive people, May 6, 2015.
    • Kory Floyd, What lack of affection can do to you. Psychology Today, August 31, 2013.
    Touch is genetically the first, initial channel of communication for us. Even before a child acquires the ability for visual, auditory, speech, and gestural communication, adults interact with him only through tactile contact. Parents and the child at the very beginning of his life build their relationship through touch. S. Freud, in his theory of psychosexual development, believed that it was in this first stage of life, which he called the oral phase, when the child’s tactile sensations, the foundations of a person’s mental constitution are laid, the prerequisites for his mental health and ill health are formed.
    According to some researchers, for example Harlow (1971), touch, or bodily contact, is a biological need, the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of which influences the formation of attachment and love in a person. Montague (1972) believes that touch is the most direct mode of emotional interaction, and therefore he views cutaneous stimulation as a fundamental and essential element in the healthy development of every organism.
    But something else needs to be noted. In society, touch as a means of communication is strictly regulated and is subject to social norms and taboos that vary from culture to culture. Regulation concerns most of all touching the face, head, and intimate parts of the body (Izard K., 1980).
    Touch used in social interactions is divided into several types. There are touches due to professional activity. So, for example, doctors, hairdressers, cutters, sports trainers touch other people while performing their professional duties, that is, purely functionally.
    Another type of touching is socially determined and ritual in nature. This could be handshakes, common in European culture, mutual rubbing
    Semechkin N.I. Social Psychology
    noses, reminiscent of sniffing, as in some island cultures, kisses on the shoulders (as in India), forehead, cheeks (as in Europe and Russia), etc.
    And finally, the third type of touch is more intimate, personally colored, indicating close relationships between people - kinship, friendship, love, acquaintance, sexual connection.
    In general, men and women touch each other with the same frequency, but there are also specific differences due to certain factors, in particular age. Judith Hall and Helen Vecchia report, for example, that in opposite-sex couples, by the age of 30, tactile contact men resort more often than women. At a later age, women take over the initiative for touching in opposite-sex couples. Researchers have also found that men prefer to touch their hands, while women prefer to touch the hand itself (Hall J. & Veccia A., 1990).
    However, men and women respond differently to touch, which is due to differences in socialization and, as a result, differences in the perception of their own status. For example, in a study conducted in one of the university libraries (USA), employees had to either touch or not touch the hands of students changing books. Those students whose hands were touched by employees reacted positively. They liked both the library itself and the librarians more than those students who were not touched by the employees. Students (men) did not respond with increased sympathy for the library and employees in response to touch (Fisher J. at all., 1976).
    In another study, Cheryl Whitcher and Jeffrey Fisher demonstrated even more striking gender differences in responses to touch. Attendants at a university hospital in the eastern United States either extensively or barely touched patients during preoperative examinations. In fact, touching as such is part of the professional duties of medical staff, so there was nothing unusual in the very fact of touching. The researchers controlled only the independent variable - the frequency and duration of tactile contacts between staff and patients. The study plan included interviewing patients immediately after surgery and studying their mental and somatic state.
    A survey and study of women's post-surgery experiences revealed the strikingly clear benefits of intensive pre-surgery touch. Those patients who were actively touched reported being less afraid of surgery. Their blood pressure levels in the postoperative period were almost normal. In a word, in all respects their condition was better than that of those patients whom doctors and nurses touched little.
    The exact opposite effect of touch was demonstrated by male patients. Those of them who were touched a lot before the operation reacted sharply negatively to this, and in particular with high blood pressure. Whereas in the control group of male patients, who were touched little, the postoperative indicators were much better.
    Thus, we can conclude that women tend to respond more positively to touch than men. Brenda Major suggests that the gender differences that exist here are analogous to status differences in responses to touch. When the status of two people is approximately the same or when it is uncertain, then men react to touch in a “masculine” way, i.e. negatively, and women react in a “feminine way”, i.e. positively. But if an obviously high-status person touches a low-status person, the latter’s reaction is usually positive, regardless of what gender he is. Consequently, both men and women perceive the touches of a high-status person in the same “feminine way,” that is, positively (Major V., 1981).
    It is clear, therefore, that touch can inform an outside observer about the social status of interacting people. The one who touches the interlocutor clearly occupies a dominant position, having a higher status than the one who is touched. And, indeed, it is easy to imagine, for example, that a manager pats an employee on the shoulder or some other place. And it’s hard to imagine that an employee does the same thing when talking to a manager.
    Thus, touch, like other nonverbal means of communication, can serve as a source of information both about the interlocutors and about the communication process itself.

    More on topic 3.9. Touch (tactile contact):

    1. Question No. 26. Tactile gnosis and its cerebral organization. Tactile agnosia.
    2. 17. Sensory and gnostic disorders of the skin-kinesthetic system. Tactile agnosia. Disturbances of tactile gnosis with damage to the secondary fields of the cortex of the superior and inferior parietal regions of the brain.
    3. 18. Types of tactile agnosia: object (astereognosis), letter, number (tactile alexia), finger agnosia (Gerstmann syndrome), object texture agnosia.

    In this article we will consider what tactile contact between a newborn and its mother is, what it is for, why this contact is necessary for both mother and child.

    Why tactile contact between baby and mother?

    We will also consider medical reasons, and psychological.

    • Tactile contact with the mother normalizes the newborn’s body temperature.
    • Heart rate and blood pressure are normalized.
    • The baby's blood sugar level increases.
    • Calms the child and gives him a feeling of security.
    • The level of stress hormones in the child's blood decreases.
    • The baby’s body is colonized by the mother’s bacteria (this is beneficial).
    • Easier to set up.

    Based on the experience of nursing premature babies, it was noted that children who had contact with their parents (both mom and dad) more often, “skin to skin,” gained weight better and digested food more easily.

    There is a greater chance that during the first attempts at breastfeeding, the baby will latch onto the breast correctly and suck out more milk (thereby facilitating the onset of the breastfeeding process).

    In addition, if the baby immediately takes the breast correctly, then the mother more likely“stay with intact nipples.”

    • The child (this has been verified) cries several times less. We can say that if nothing hurts, he doesn’t cry at all. This gives the mother the opportunity to feel the pleasant emotions of motherhood “right now.”
    • From tactile contact (as well as from breastfeeding) the mother secretes the hormones prolactin and oxytocin, the hormones of happiness and love. That is, nature intended it so that the mother would hold the baby more in her arms and be happy about it.
    • Many young mothers complain that they cannot sleep normally, since they jump up all the time to the child, who. Dear mothers, take pity on yourself and your child! If a baby sleeps in your arms and wakes up as soon as you put him in the crib, isn't that a call to action J? Place the baby on yourself, or on your husband’s stomach, whatever is comfortable, and sleep. Believe me, the whole family will not jump up anywhere and will sleep normally.

    Example. With my first child, I woke up at night, by the hour, picked him up, fed him, then walked for 20 minutes, holding him upright and rocking him to sleep, and then put him in his crib. And even this was sometimes very difficult, and I did not get enough sleep. At the same time, I did not work (I was on maternity leave). And with the second child, I simply “lived with him”, we slept, fed, I constantly held him in my arms or in a sling, or just next to me. At the same time, I worked (at home), and did not switch off from the work process for a day. And I can say that I felt much more rested and full of energy. Despite already having two children, work and a child in her arms. I slept normally, the baby (that’s my impression) practically didn’t cry at all. When my son was actively teething, I “moved” with him to the floor for several nights and slept there, it was more comfortable, because he latched on to the breast almost all night. Both I and the rest of the family slept peacefully at that time, since the child was next to me and did not worry.

    • It happens that a mother has interruptions in milk production. And in these cases, physical contact between mother and child is also of great importance. If you constantly hold the baby, stroke him, lay him out “skin to skin”, bathe with him, then pauses in lactation pass faster, or they don’t happen at all.
    • Normally established tactile contact helps the mother begin to understand and feel the child better and better. And the more mutual understanding, the more happiness and joy motherhood brings.
    • It has been noted that babies who are petted and carried have an easier time with various diseases (colds, for example).

    Example. I myself noted this fact with surprise. The eldest child went to kindergarten, just when the youngest was 1-3 months old. And often the eldest “dragged” all sorts of sores from the garden. And the “illness” of the younger one developed something like this: a day of temperature, about 38-39. At this time, I kept him “with me” all the time and gave him breasts at the slightest request. The child ate and fell asleep. About a day passed like this, and that was all. In this way, apparently, he overcame the virus and returned to normal.

    • You need to understand that the child spent 9 months in his mother’s belly, in complete protection and safety. And the mother’s first task after childbirth is to restore this feeling in the child. Only next to the mother (in her arms, under her side, on her chest) will the child again feel protected and safe.
    • Scientists say that it is important to give a newborn a first sense of trust in the world. And this is easiest to do when the child immediately goes to his mother and stays with her constantly.
    • It happens that due to a difficult birth, for example, a mother is so deprived of strength that she is simply not happy about everything that happens. She does all the necessary manipulations with the child, but tries to keep communication to a minimum. And in this case, the advice is the same: take the child more often and hold him next to you (lying down), or in your arms. Touch him more, put the baby on you (preferably skin to skin). Both the baby and the mother need all this. It is tactile contact that will trigger the production of the necessary “happy” hormones and help in establishing breastfeeding. And the mother herself will not notice how she will be transferred from the state of “everything is very, very bad” to the happy world of motherhood.

    Tie your baby to you, if your back health allows, use it. The baby wants to be constantly in your arms.

    How to make tactile contact

    There is nothing complicated about constant tactile contact. These are not some special far-fetched actions, but simply ordinary and understandable activities with the child.

    I will give basic examples of actions.

    What happens without tactile contact

    As you know, a newborn baby has no sense of time at all. There is no “minute” or “five minutes” for him. For him, all these segments are experienced as real eternity. Please remember this when “good” advisers tell you something like: “well, he’ll cry for a minute, why are you rushing to him,” or “if he cries, he’ll sleep better,” and similar nonsense.

    The baby feels bad without his mother, feels bad alone. And besides the fact that he feels bad, he is also not able to estimate how long this bad situation will last.

    For the child, every time “mom is gone forever and will not return.” He still has to get used to the fact that his mother comes. And the process of “getting used to” will last up to six months for sure. Therefore, leaving a child alone is stressful for the baby.

    Note. I would like to dwell a little more on the advice “let him cry.” It is usually claimed that after crying the child will “fall asleep well and soundly.” Honestly, this is complete nonsense. The child does not calm down, but simply falls asleep without strength, he simply cannot cry anymore. And then, in his sleep, he still sobs and shudders. Have you ever wondered why baby crying is so hard to bear? Alternatively, precisely because it is not necessary, and simply cannot be tolerated (tolerate, not to react), it is forbidden by nature. You can't ignore the crying small child, he doesn’t play around, doesn’t manipulate, he really feels bad without his mother.

    You have been together with him for all nine months, let him get used to being apart, and get used to it comfortably.

    Advice not to pick up a child in your arms is becoming less and less common (fortunately), since “you will teach him to hold hands” and “spoil him.” Enough has already been written about this, and enough research has shown that a child who has enough parental love and attention, it is much easier to “let go” of parents when the time comes. The child is confident that his mother is nearby, everything is fine, and he calmly moves away from his parents and can play on his own. The baby is more confident, calmer, more cheerful. Even just watching children on the playground, you can see (unfortunately) which children are given enough tactile contact by their parents and which ones are not.

    Children differ greatly; by about one year of age this is clearly visible. Babies who are “kept in tactile isolation” are most likely fed by the hour, or not breastfed at all - these babies move differently. They are less confident. Unfortunately, they fight and push more often. In this way, by the way, children make up for the “deficit of touch.” If there is little tactile contact, then the child will try to contact other children, but he still does not know how to really play, hence the pushing.

    Scientists say that being with mom is an innate need of a child. This is not a sign of “spoiling” and not a consequence of the fact that the child has been “hand-trained.” This is an internal need characteristic of all human children, without exception. It's just that some children are even more demanding than others.

    Try to accept this feature of your child. Think about who needs this relative “convenience”, which is still common to brag about: “my child eats and sleeps by the hour, I took him out of the crib, fed him, and put him back down again.” You can raise a child in tactile isolation, and take him in your arms “on holidays.” But why do this? By arranging a comfortable regime for yourself for six months maximum, what will you achieve in the long term?

    The result will be an unloved and under-caressed child, traumatized in the very first days of his birth. And no one will say how exactly such a child will compensate for what he was not given. After all, this is a separate human being, and you are responsible for his “start” in this world. Life is already a difficult thing, and our opinion is that a child should be sent into it with a supply of love and affection.

    It is important to remember (and respond to various “advisers”) that by carrying a child in our arms, we are not “pampering” him, but developing him. We give food to his organs of perception, “show” him our life and activities, teach him “to be in society.”

    To fully understand how important tactile contact is for a child, we can cite the example of orphanage children. After all, they have all the care (except for very sad cases). That is, they are fed, diapers are changed, and they are changed into clean clothes. They have toys. But no one carries them in their arms, as a mother would do. And children who are initially absolutely healthy begin to be delayed in their development by the age of one year. And all possible neurological diagnoses appear. I understand that the example of orphanage children shows the most extreme, these children grow up without tactile contact at all, without love and affection. But this clearly shows what the lack of tactile contact leads to.

    Combine business with pleasure, give your baby a little massage with the help of, use gentle baths with high-quality and. The baby so needs your affection and care now.

    Note. Return of food and cosmetics only possible if the packaging is undamaged.

    It is very important to treat the “child should” recommendations correctly. For example, for some reason he “should” fall asleep on his own at the age of 7-9 months. And this is just some kind of stumbling block. “Is yours already asleep? How does he fall asleep? Are you rocking in your arms? It’s a nightmare, you’ve completely spoiled him!” If young parents are bombarded with such “advice” from all sides, then they may try to retrain their child. And instead of a calm, “tame” child, crying in a crib, they will receive. Think, is it worth it? Is it worth torturing yourself and your child just to “boast” about his skill? According to scientific research, a child of 7-9 months (although already quite old) is only forming the image of his mother, and does not yet retain it in memory. Therefore, the baby still needs to feel his mother nearby.

    It is not enough to care for and feed the child. He needs to be hugged, stroked, loved and shown your love. This has already been proven to develop the child’s skills, his cognitive abilities, and stimulate the brain in general. The mother's touch causes the baby to produce hormones necessary for growth and development.

    The saddest thing is that a baby who has been tactilely “underfed” grows into a teenager and then an adult. And the “tactile lack” does not go away; it remains with the person. The child can develop certain skills “how to distract himself” from tactile hunger. This is, as a rule, food (sweets), or requests/demands for toys, and so on, up to compensation with alcohol and drugs. It’s unbearable for a child to feel like he’s not loved enough; he will definitely try to compensate for this.

    Hence, from early childhood, such unpleasant things “come from”: overeating (overeating), a tendency to strange (destructive) contacts and relationships, a tendency to destructive behavior, reluctance and impossibility of normal contact with the world. Think for yourself, if a baby grows up with the feeling that the most main man, mom doesn’t love him (doesn’t hug him, she’s not around), then what could be the expectations from the rest of the world as a whole?

    Note. When preparing this article, I read the blog of one fairly famous mother of many children. She has nine children, six of them adopted. Her notes about how orphanage children change when they find themselves in a home environment are very interesting. She celebrated this with all the adopted children. When a child is just taken from an orphanage, he usually has an uneven head, curled toes, and generally general muscle tightness. And right before our eyes, simply from gentle touches (she carried the children in a sling, stroked them all the time), most of the manifestations “smoothed out.” The head straightens, the foot and toes straighten, even the squint returns to normal. This is simply a clear demonstration of the healing power of loving touch.

    Unfortunately, children whose parents pet them a little and hug them a little are evident. By the age of one year, you can simply visually distinguish who “enough” tactile contact and who clearly lacks it. Why do I write “unfortunately”? Because it’s so simple to show your child your love with a touch. This does not require any huge costs. And this simple action gives so much to both the child and the parents.

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