The one-year-old child became aggressive. Aggressive behavior in children

Has your until recently so cute and clumsy little one suddenly become capricious and aggressive? Yesterday you forcibly took a shovel from a friend in the sandbox, and today you barely managed to break up a fight, the instigator of which was your child. Problems, unfortunately, familiar to many parents. How to avoid becoming a victim of a little aggressor, understand the reasons for such behavior and teach your child adequate behavior in the family and society?

Causes and manifestations

There are many reasons why children behave aggressively. Aggressive behavior a child most often occurs in response to his feelings such as fear, sadness, disappointment, despair and jealousy. They may occur as a reaction to events or circumstances that lead to low self-esteem, a state of isolation, or a loss of control. Some children do not have the ability or know how to control their actions, and as a result, their feelings become heightened and anger manifests itself in the form of aggressive behavior.

Aggression in young children can manifest itself in the form of hitting, kicking, hitting, spitting, biting, throwing objects, destroying or damaging things and toys.

In some cases, the interaction between a child's temperament and/or genetic predisposition and environmental influences (eg, family environment or stress) increases the likelihood that the child will use aggression as a primary coping strategy.

Age characteristics

In children aged up to 3 years aggressive behavior most often occurs in relation to toys. Children may bite, spit, push, hit others, throw various items, throwing tantrums. At this age, they learn adequate ways to communicate with other children: how to offer to play, calm down, switch. An attempt on the part of parents to influence a child with force can only lead to the fact that he will act more aggressively next time or it will lead to the desire to strike back. At this age, it is better to switch the child and give him a break from activities that provoke aggression.

From 3 to 5 years In children, physical aggression usually decreases, they begin to use words to communicate with peers, at the same time, they are still quite egocentric and still have difficulty accepting someone else’s point of view. For them, everything is either good or bad, there are no nuances. Children are not able to think, plan, they need clear guidelines, instructions on how and what to do. At this age, they cannot figure out what is fantasy and what is reality in a movie or television show. They may misunderstand another child's desire to join in their games and see it as hostility, an invasion of their territory. Accordingly, they will strive to defend themselves and, rather, using aggression. Explanations that the other child is peaceful are often not accepted.

At 6-10 By the age of 18 years, children already have sufficient self-control not to express resentment, displeasure, or through aggression towards other children. But at the same time, they can still protect their interests through aggression.

Boys usually act openly through physical aggression. Girls are prone to indirect, hidden - without direct confrontation. For example, through a verbal attack - ridicule, nicknames, or, conversely, through ignoring, silence. Both boys and girls who are prone to aggression often have low self-esteem and hidden depression.

In older and teenage years aggressive behavior can be provoked by the environment in which the child is formed (asocial environment, stressful, tense - lack of love, care, abandonment of the child). This can lead to a desire to strike back and take revenge. At the same time, peers can reinforce the child’s aggressive manifestations and encourage them.

Why does this happen and what to do

Often children may act aggressively simply because they feel upset or helpless and cannot express it in words. Children do not have such developed communication skills, everyday psychological knowledge, and concepts as adults. However, they understand more than they can say. Therefore, it is important to encourage your child when he tries to express his feelings. They are very useful here role-playing games, dolls and various heroes that are now popular with children will suit you. Together with your child, you can act out a confrontation, a conflict, a contradiction of interests. Create a provocation during which you can use toys as an example to demonstrate to your child how to resolve conflicts without showing aggression, physical strength, without humiliation and insults: finding common interests, compromises through negotiations.

If a child does not receive the necessary knowledge in the family about acceptable and unacceptable behavior with peers, for example, if he often fights with his brother/sister, and no one teaches him how to deal with conflicts, it is difficult for him to understand when he is behaving aggressively.

Swearing, angry words, and, of course, physical aggression from parents transmit patterns of aggressive behavior to children.

Movies and online games also model a child’s behavior and the acceptable level of aggression. Television programs and shows can be quite cruel, and if children see it, they simply do not understand the difference between the game and reality, especially since violence can often look very natural. If your child has problems with aggressive behavior, you should definitely limit or eliminate watching TV and aggressive films.

If a child does not feel safe, he may signal for help by becoming aggressive.

Sometimes children can have aggressive outbursts due to events in the family, for example, in front of their parents. In addition, children have a need for control. Sometimes a child may act aggressively to get a reaction or to regain control of a situation over another child. This is normal for children 2-6 years old. Young children do not yet know how to regulate their reactions; feelings are not separated from behavior.

If a child's aggressiveness is not managed, he will not know where the boundaries of what is permitted are, and will continue to provoke and behave in similar ways, not understanding when he can stop. If action is not taken, the child remains confused, not knowing when he should stop or what the consequences might be. It is important to point out to children the consequences of their behavior - this helps them feel emotionally safe.

Learning to correct aggressive behavior

How you respond to your child's aggression should depend on his developmental level. For example, it is better to redirect a baby to a safer and calmer activity, while older children can already understand and remember the rules of behavior.

The child should know that it is normal to feel anger, but hitting or biting people is not, this is already aggression, because attacking people harms them. During an aggressive outburst, take the child out of the room, with playground, take it to another place. Focus your attention on one or two of your child's most dangerous behaviors instead of trying to get him to change everything at once.

Sit down next to the child so that you are at the same level of eye contact with him, warm him up, hold his hand. This will show him that it is safe to show you his feelings. You can say: “I know you feel bad right now.” “I'm here, I'll help you. Tell me what's going on." “There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just having a hard time right now. I'll be there for you".

Don't expect your child to explain things intelligently. He may cry, shake, you will be dealing with body language and screaming, crying, not words. Hug your baby with a little pressure to calm him down. Now the feelings are too strong, and there is no need for long explanations or lectures to the child. Children remember what you taught them without further ado. They scan your actions, reactions, energy.

Don't blame, don't shame, etc. These actions will only further frighten children and push them away. They add pain to the child and make him even more aggressive. You can condemn the behavior, not the child himself, his personality. Maintaining a balance between blame and a healthy sense of guilt is something that is very important for parents to understand. Either way, children feel guilty, even if they show that they don't care. This feeling of guilt makes it difficult to talk about those who caused the aggression.

Instead of blaming, encourage a situation of intimacy with you. Let your child immediately come to you for help when he is upset. This will help you avoid aggressive behavior because he doesn't feel connected to you.

The main thing to remember is that an aggressive child is a scared child. Aggression becomes a way to manage fears, the child finds the solution that he can. Your task as parents is to help him find other ways of coping with fear or the situation - more adequate and calm ones.

Arina Lipkina, consulting psychologist

magazine for parents “Raising a Child”, May 2013

The problem of childhood aggression today is undoubtedly relevant, since the number of children with aggressive behavior has recently been growing at an accelerated pace. This is facilitated by many factors, including unfavorable social conditions for the life of children, absence or deficiency family education, the neuropsychic state of children and the indifference of parents and teachers to this condition, the media, films and videos that promote violence, as well as the increase in cases of birth pathologies, which ultimately cause damage to the child’s brain.

When a child is born, he can only react in the form of pleasure or displeasure. In cases where the child is fed, has clean diapers and is not bothered by any pain, he shows exclusively positive emotions: he smiles, walks or sleeps peacefully. If there is any discomfort, the child begins to actively express his dissatisfaction in the form of crying, screaming, kicking his legs, etc. Over the years, the child begins to express his protests through destructive actions that are aimed at other people (offenders) or things valuable to them.

In general, aggression is characteristic of any person, since it is a subconscious form of behavior aimed at self-defense and survival in the world. As a person ages, he learns to control his natural aggressive instincts and respond in a more socially acceptable way. If a person has not learned this since childhood, then in life he has difficulties communicating with people. Therefore, the reaction of adults is of great importance at such moments. You cannot suppress aggression in your child, since it is a necessary and natural feeling for a person. Prohibiting or suppressing a child’s aggressive impulses using force can contribute to auto-aggression, when the child causes harm to himself, or the transition to a psychosomatic disorder.

The main task of parents is to teach the child to control his outbursts of aggression, to direct them in a peaceful direction, and not to suppress them, to protect himself, his rights and interests in a socially acceptable way, without harming other people or infringing on their interests. And for this it is necessary to reveal the causes of aggression in a child.

The reasons for a child's aggressive behavior are varied. The appearance of aggression can be facilitated by diseases of the brain or somatic diseases. Upbringing in a family from the first days of life is the main factor that influences the development of aggressive qualities in a child. It has been proven that in cases where a baby is abruptly weaned and communication with his mother is limited, he develops such qualities as suspicion, cruelty, anxiety, aggressiveness, and selfishness. In cases where a child lacks maternal affection, care, attention and communication, then this kind of quality is not formed at all. In addition, the nature of the punishments used by parents in response to the aggressive behavior of their child also affects the process of development of aggression in the child. IN in this case Most often, two methods of influence are used - excessive severity and leniency. As paradoxical as it may sound, aggressive children can be from parents who are too strict or too soft. Numerous studies have revealed that a sharp suppression of aggressiveness by parents in their child leads to the fact that this quality not only does not disappear, but also becomes higher, that is, it contributes to the development of increased aggressiveness in the child, which will manifest itself in his adult life. But the other option is also not ideal. If parents do nothing at all in response to the child’s aggressive reactions, the child will soon think that such behavior is allowed and is the norm. As a result, small outbursts of aggression will imperceptibly flow into the habit of behaving aggressively towards others. It is important for parents to find " golden mean“, only in this case can the child be taught to control his aggressive impulses.

Portrait of an aggressive child.
Today there is not a single class in school or group in kindergarten so that it does not include a child with aggressive behavior. As a rule, such a child is the initiator of various conflicts, attacks children in order to take over their toys, does not mince words, fights, in general, is a “thunderstorm” for everything. children's group, as well as upsetting parents and tormenting educators. A constantly fighting child is very difficult to accept for who he is, but it is more difficult to understand. However, an aggressive child really needs the help and affection of adults, since his outbursts of aggression are nothing more than a manifestation of his internal discomfort and inability to adequately respond to events happening around him.

Most often, aggressive children feel like outcasts and unwanted. The cruel attitude and indifference of parents leads to a breakdown in the relationship between them and the child-parent relationship and instills in the child the confidence that no one loves him. From here, the child begins to search various ways become needed by attracting the attention of adults and peers. And this, unfortunately, does not always work out the way he wishes, but he simply does not know how to do otherwise, does not know how to act differently.

Aggressive children have particularly elevated qualities such as suspicion and caution; they like to blame others for the quarrel they started. Such children are not able to independently assess their aggressiveness; they do not understand or notice that they are the cause of fear and anxiety in other children. And even on the contrary, they believe that everyone wants to offend them. As a result, it turns out that an aggressive child is afraid and hates those around him, who, in turn, are afraid of him.

An aggressive child is little emotional, reacts little even to simple situations, and the expression of feelings, as a rule, has a gloomy connotation. As a rule, such behavior is identified with the child’s defensive reaction. In addition, the baby cannot look at himself in the mirror at the moment and evaluate his behavior. Therefore, parents, for their part, must provide the child with a choice of ways to behave in a given situation.

More often, aggressive form The child copies behavior from his parents.

In cases of manifestation of child or teenage aggression Adult intervention is needed to reduce or avoid aggressive behavior in conflict situations.

What to do with aggression?
Regardless of the situation, parents should show love and affection to their child. You cannot tell a child that if he behaves like this again, they will not love him. Under no circumstances should you insult a child, call him names, or harm him as an individual. Parents should show their dissatisfaction only with respect to the child’s actions, but not with the child himself.

In cases where a child asks you to play with him, but you are busy with an important matter and cannot do this, you should not brush the child off, much less show your irritation at his insistent request. It is necessary to explain to your child the reason why you cannot yet pay attention to him. Show that you understand him, love him very much, but do not yet have the opportunity to do this. For example: “Do you want me to draw with you? Baby, mommy loves you very much, but I’m so tired from work today. Please play alone today.” And yet, you don’t need to buy your child expensive gifts out of guilt; attention is much more important to him.

Parents who do not want to foster aggression in their child must carefully monitor the manifestation of their emotions, especially those of an aggressive nature. You should always remember that children always and in everything follow the example of their parents, first of all, that is, those who surround them.

As I already said, you cannot pacify a child’s manifestation of aggression, in otherwise this can lead to the development of serious mental illness. It is necessary to teach the child to express his unfriendly feelings in a socially acceptable way: with words, with the help of drawing, modeling or during the game, with the help of sports, that is, with actions that will not harm others. If the child’s feelings are transferred from actions to words, he will understand that he can speak before “punching him in the eye.” This way, gradually the child will be able to master the language of his feelings and tell you about them, for example, that he is offended, upset, angry, etc., rather than trying to attract your attention with his disgusting behavior. The child must tell his parents about all his feelings, who, in turn, are obliged to give him such an opportunity, listen and tell him how to behave.

In cases when a child begins to be capricious, scream, or get angry, just hug him and hold him close to you. This will calm him down, and gradually he will come to his senses. After this, you need to talk with your child about the feelings he is experiencing. During such a conversation, you should not reproach or lecture your child; you should let him know that you are always ready to listen to him, especially in those moments when he feels bad. Over time, your baby will need much less time to calm down. The child understands your hugs in such situations as the fact that you can withstand his aggression, which means that his aggression can be calmed down and he will not destroy what he loves. As a result, the child begins to learn over time the ability to restrain his aggressive impulses and thus control his aggression.

Treat your child as an individual who has opinions and feelings that need to be respected and taken seriously. Give your child the opportunity to feel sufficiently free and independent, make it clear that he must be responsible for them. At the same time, he should know that when needed, you will give him advice or help. A child must have his own personal space, a territory that adults should not invade without his consent. Many parents believe that their children should not have any secrets from them, so they constantly rummage through the child’s personal belongings, read personal letters, eavesdrop, etc. Under no circumstances should you do this! If you have earned the trust of your child, and he sees you first and foremost as a friend and adviser, he will definitely tell you everything himself if he considers it necessary.

The child should be shown the lack of beneficial effects resulting from aggressive behavior. You should explain to the child that at first there can and will be a benefit from such behavior (for example, taking the ball from another child), only in the end after this none of the children will want to play with him, and he will be left in splendid isolation. It is unlikely that he will like this prospect.

If your preschooler hits another before your eyes, you must first approach the offended child, lift him up and say that “Seryozha did not want to offend you,” then hug, kiss him and escort him out of the room. By doing this, you make it clear to your child that for his aggressive behavior he is deprived of your attention, and besides, he is left without a playmate. As a rule, after three such episodes, the fighter understands that such behavior is not in his interests.

Rules of conduct among other children should be established for the child. For example, “we don’t hit anyone, and no one hits us,” etc.

Try to praise your child for his diligence, while doing it in such a way that the child will consolidate these efforts. For example: “I like what you did” or “I’m very pleased that you shared a toy with a friend instead of another fight with him.” Children perceive praise better when they see their satisfaction.

You should talk to your child about his actions one on one, without the presence of friends, relatives, school staff, etc. Such a conversation should not contain many emotional words, such as “ashamed.”

Parents should try to eliminate situations that may provoke aggression in the child’s behavior.

Fairytale therapy can help combat child aggression. When small child signs of aggression begin to appear, you can try to compose a fairy tale with him, where the child will be the main character. Try to create situations where the child behaves correctly and deserves praise. It is best to do this when the child is calm and not nervous.

The child should be given the opportunity to exercise emotional release (sports, active games, etc.).

In addition to the efforts of parents in the fight against child aggression, educators and teachers should also take part. They must teach children to recognize outbursts of aggression and control them, cope with their anger, express it in acceptable ways, and develop their ability to sympathize, empathize, and trust.

If you, having tried all the methods of education, cannot cope with your child’s aggressiveness, do not know or are not sure what to do, constantly break down and yell at him, after which, feeling guilty, you need the help of a psychologist. Early contact with a specialist will help solve the problem and improve relationships.

And finally, remember that a child is a complete reflection of his parents. Therefore, if something horrifies you in his behavior, do not rush to conclusions. Sometimes it is enough to change something in your behavior, as a result of which the child begins to react differently to certain situations.

Being a parent is the hardest and at the same time the most beautiful work on earth. Ideas about how children should behave do not always coincide with reality. Sometimes the behavior of children can really be “unsettling,” but parents should not despair; they can always try to find the right path to friendship with their child.

This article is for loving and responsible parents who want to understand the reasons for their children’s actions and understand them. Parents whose children are younger will find tips here. school age suffer from attacks of aggression.

Child development occurs in leaps and bounds and is accompanied by cyclically recurring crises. The age of 6-7 years is quite difficult for a child in itself, since during this period of time things happen: external changes(the child grows taller, his teeth change), and significant internal changes. Now the parents are no longer a baby, but a small adult - his appearance loses the fullness and roundness characteristic of younger children, and independence is manifested in his behavior. However, like all changes, these are not easy. reverse side medals is disobedience and even rudeness towards parents.

At the age of 6-7 years, the child loses his childish spontaneity. You can notice that he is behaving deliberately ridiculously, clowning around. Of course, children sometimes make faces even before, but at this age buffoonery accompanies the child’s behavior all the time. This happens because at this age the child first separates his inner self from external behavior. He begins to realize that his actions can say something to others and cause a response. The overt artificiality of behavior is dictated by the fact that the child is constantly experimenting, as if he is checking: “What will happen if I do this?”

Such experiments often cost parents the loss of a significant number of nerve cells. Moreover, if the child previously easily agreed to the necessary rituals (putting to bed, washing), now the parents’ instructions cause an unusual reaction:

• ignoring requests;
• reasoning why this should not be done;
• refusal;
• objections and disputes.

A child at this age is inclined to demonstratively do things that are prohibited and will cause a negative reaction from their parents. The child tries to take a new position as an adult and critically evaluates all the rules that were not established by him. Rules are understood as part of a child's image that must be stepped over.

In addition, during this period the child for the first time begins to be interested in how he looks in the eyes of others. He's starting to get interested appearance, the clothes he chooses, he is afraid of seeming not old enough. Now he subjects his actions to self-criticism. For example, if before a child was not good at playing football, he continued the game, despite the ridicule of his peers, now he can stop it if he sees that he is doing poorly.

Obviously that's enough difficult period both for the child and for his parents. Parents need to be careful in their words and actions, since the 7-year-old crisis is an excellent breeding ground for the development of aggression in a child. Aggression is an external expression of internal anger. It can manifest itself both physically (biting, hitting, slapping) and verbally (threats, screaming). If a child constantly strives for destruction, wants to annoy, hurt parents and other children, this is a reason to visit child psychologist. The article provides some tips that will help prevent the occurrence of aggressive reactions.

It is necessary to look for the cause in the family. At the age of 7, a child often does not listen to his parents, and if in the process of upbringing the parents show themselves unrestrained, this can cause an aggressive response. You should always remember: the child reflects the behavior of the parents.

You should be attentive to your child’s experiences and talk to him more. Aggression can also be provoked by the external environment (bullying by peers, adaptation to school). The task of parents is to remain sensitive and not miss the moment when the child needs help.

Educational, creative and active games help to throw out negative emotions. Moderately effective physical activity, visiting the pool.

Most main advice Parents: remember that any crisis ends, followed by the appearance of new adult qualities in the child, but how the transition period goes will forever remain in the child’s memory.

What could be the causes of childhood aggression? What to do if a child behaves aggressively?

“He got into a fight!” - the kindergarten teacher exclaims in a dramatic voice. Under barely restrained maternal annoyance small man returns home. There on family council his fate will be decided: the fate of a man who has committed an unforgivable aggressive act.

Modern society dictates its own rules of the game to us. And what 100 years ago a father would have praised for, today causes parents to panic. What is childhood aggression? Is it worth fighting it? And if so, then how.

Types of aggression in children

According to the most common interpretation, childhood aggression is behavior directed at others or at oneself and associated with causing harm. Depending on how this behavior manifests itself, the following types of aggression are distinguished:

• Verbal- the child screams, swears, calls names, verbally abuses. Depending on whether the baby reprimands the person who angered him or complains to a third party who had nothing to do with the conflict, aggression is divided into direct and indirect, respectively.
• Physical- here there is causing material harm to the object of anger.

Such aggression can be:

• straight- children fight, bite, hit, scratch. The purpose of this behavior is to cause pain to another person;
• indirect- the move involves causing harm to the offender’s things. A child may tear a book, break a toy, or destroy someone else's sandcastle.
• symbolic- constitutes threats to use force. Often this type of aggression develops into direct aggression. For example, a child screams that he will bite you and, if intimidation does not work, he puts it into practice.

No matter how a child’s aggressive behavior manifests itself, it always causes stupor and bewilderment in parents. Where did this come from? What to do about it? Ordinary conversations about how fighting and swearing are bad do not help.

Causes of outbursts of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents

Family members are especially sensitive to aggression directed at them. Why a child is aggressive with other children can be understood, but at home the child is treated well. So what causes outbreaks of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents?

1. The most common group of reasons can be classified as “Problems in the family.” Moreover, these can be both difficulties in the relationship between parents and the child, as well as problems of adults who are not directly related to the baby: divorce, death of a close relative
2. Children, just like adults, have their own individual characteristics. Therefore, the second group of reasons can be attributed to “Personal characteristics”. The child may be easily excitable, anxious, and irritable. He finds it difficult to control his emotions, so every little thing can make him angry
3. And the last group can be characterized as “Situational reasons”. Fatigue, poor health, heat, long monotonous pastime, poor quality food. Such things can infuriate not only a child, but also an adult.

Diagnosis of aggression in children

All these factors can intersect and overlap each other. A qualified psychologist will help to identify what caused the child’s aggressive behavior in a particular case. Diagnosis of aggression in children is carried out over several meetings, based on the results of which the specialist analyzes the problem and suggests ways to solve it.

The choice of methods for correcting aggression depends on many factors. But parents need to be prepared for the fact that there is no simple way treatment of aggression. To help a child you will have to work hard, including on yourself.

What should you pay attention to first of all, what recommendations should parents of aggressive children follow? Here a lot depends both on the reasons for such behavior of the child and on his age

Aggression in children aged 2-3 years

During this period there is a crisis of 3 years. Kids are selfish and are not used to sharing. If they disagree with something, they may hit, scream or break something that does not belong to them.

It should be remembered that children do not yet know how to control their emotions, so this behavior is more the norm than a deviation. Do not scold the child, it is better to try to distract him from the object of his bad mood with something.

Being too strict can make the problem worse. Take the child aside, gently tell him that this is not the way to behave and suggest a new activity.

Aggressive preschool children

Most often, aggression in children for various reasons occurs in preschool age. At this time little man He still doesn’t know how to express his emotions and feelings and tries to express them precisely as aggression.

Aggression in children aged 4-5 years

At this age, the child begins to settle into society. He checks and examines how his behavior affects other people, including his parents.

If his actions do not harm others, give him the opportunity to build boundaries for himself. It should be understood that this does not mean permissiveness. You need to make it clear to your child what is possible and what is not. How he can express his anger (words) and how not (physically).

Aggression in children 6-7 years old

Older children preschool age are not too often aggressive. They have already learned to control themselves, they understand what is good and what is bad. If a child behaves aggressively and cruelly, you should think about the reasons.

Perhaps he lacks independence or finds it difficult to communicate with peers. Now interaction with other children comes first for the baby.

Aggression in schoolchildren

Schoolchildren also do not yet have a fully formed psyche and most often express their feelings towards peers and teachers as aggressive self-defense.

Aggression in children aged 8-9 years

The child is actively growing, expanding his knowledge about the world and himself. Both boys and girls begin to pay attention to the opposite sex. The authority of the adult is questioned.

It is important for parents to understand that the child is no longer a baby. From now on, children demand to be treated as equals. Aggression among schoolchildren is often associated with adults’ rejection of this fact.

Aggression in children aged 10-12 years

Jr adolescence prepares parents for crisis and difficult adolescence. Already now, the authority of peers is more important for a child than that of the parents. Aggressive outbreaks cannot be avoided now.

It is important not to respond to aggression with aggression and not to engage in slippery slope confrontation. It is better to try to build a partnership with your child. Spend more time with him, talk about adult topics. Of course, there must be boundaries and limits. After all, you are a parent, not your child’s friend.

In any of these periods, one should understand when aggression is only temporary, situational, and when it threatens to turn into an accentuation of character. If the problem of child aggression in your family is quite acute and you feel that you cannot cope with the situation, do not be afraid to ask for help. Raising aggressive children is not an easy task. And the work of a psychologist will not be superfluous here.

How to relieve aggression in a child? Treatment of aggression in children

Exist various techniques How to relieve aggression in a child. There is a a large number of information on this issue.

Video: Children's aggression. How to help a child get rid of it?

You can try to apply all these activities and developments in life. Some of the children do not like to draw, but will be happy to compose a story with fictional characters. Some guys love to build and destroy. And someone simply feels the need to shout, thus releasing their anger.

Aggressive child recommendations for parents

Whatever method you choose, you should understand that this is only a transitional stage for your child.

• Games and exercises can relieve stress, but they are not a panacea.
• The child must learn to deal with his emotions constructively, expressing them in words. Having spoken the real reason of his disorder, he will experience relief and will be able to start looking for solutions to his problem. Agree, when everything inside is bubbling with anger, it’s difficult to find a way out
• Perhaps, during classes with your child, you will understand that the problem of childhood aggression lies in yourself, in the parents
• It's hard to admit this, but it doesn't mean you're a bad mother or a bad father. This speaks of you as an adult, responsible person. With some effort, you can change the situation. And no matter what your child does, remember, he expects you to love him no matter what.
• Confidence in your need and value for the most important people in your life - your parents - can work wonders even with the most notorious hooligans

Video: How to teach a child to manage his emotions and express his feelings?

Games for aggressive children

• Children's lives, especially younger age, 90% consists of games. Through them, the child experiences the world and learns to live in it. Therefore, often, when there are not enough words to explain to a child how to cope with the passions raging within him, you can and should use game situations
• Hit each other with pillows, have a “war” with snowballs in winter and water pistols in summer, play darts, cheering loudly with each hit, run races, play sea battle
• This will help the child relieve internal tension. Remember the films in which the hero, angry, threw a cake in the face of his opponent, and it all ended with laughter and amicable eating of the remaining sweets

Exercises for aggressive children

In addition to simple games known to everyone since childhood, in interaction with children who are often prone to display aggression, they use exercises developed by psychologists.

Video: Games to reduce children's aggression

Classes with aggressive children

• During all the games and exercises mentioned above, it is important to let the child understand that with their help he can cope with his emotions without your direct help
• During a quarrel, you can, for example, say: “We are both very angry now, let’s take pillows and fight until we forgive each other.” Thus, you will not only relieve tension, but also show how the conflict can be resolved without casualties
• One more important point In any activity with a child, it is important to establish the boundaries of what is permitted: during a pillow fight, it is necessary to stipulate that hitting can only be done with a pillow, without the use of legs. If you need to cope with verbal aggression, then you can call them names, but not offensively, for example, with the names of vegetables

Raising aggressive children

Necessary components of the educational process for children who cannot express their emotions constructively are reflection and personal example.

The concept of reflection implies the ability to analyze one’s feelings. When a child screams or hits other children, he does not always understand what is happening to him. It is important to talk to him about this so that he feels your participation and support in a difficult situation for him.

Children learn all the ways they interact with other people primarily in the family. Pay attention to how you and your loved ones deal with anger. Maybe your baby is just copying adults? And before you change his behavior, you need to change yourself?

Video: Children's anger and aggression. Why do our children become evil?

Why is a child aggressive with other children?

• It is not uncommon for parents to learn that a child is behaving aggressively from third parties. Complaints from a teacher or educator are puzzling. What is the right thing to do in this situation? What measures should be taken
• First of all, you need to take a deep breath and understand the situation. What exactly happened? Under what circumstances? The child shows aggression towards someone in particular or towards all children
• It is also important to find out the child’s opinion on this issue. Try asking him. But don't push. Children cannot always talk about their experiences
• You should pay attention to what he does in the evening. Did you tear off the doll's head? Talk about what the doll did, whether it was good or bad, and why it needed to be punished. You can draw together and use the drawing to act out a situation that happened during the day

Psychologist's work with aggressive children

If you can’t figure out the reasons for your child’s constant aggressive outbursts on your own, you don’t need to let the situation take its course. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist can be equally useful for both parents and the child.

A specialist will help you understand what is behind this behavior and give recommendations on raising your baby. In some cases, psychocorrectional work is necessary.

Correction of aggression in children

When the word “psychocorrection” is mentioned, many parents have a panic attack: something is wrong with my child, he is not normal, how did it happen, that others will think, suddenly they will think that my child is crazy. But don’t avoid asking for help because of your own fears.

Thanks to the fact that you and your child do not visit a psychologist, the problem will not disappear. Think about what is more important: how you will look in the eyes of others or the health of your baby.

Depending on the type of child problem, correctional work may be:

• individual - the child works with a psychologist one on one. More suitable for older teenagers who are not ready for group work
• family - when classes with a psychologist are attended by the whole family or one of the family members and the child. This type of activity is ideal for younger children. He is able to teach not only the baby himself to cope with strong emotions, but also help mom and dad correctly understand and respond to their child’s emotional outbursts
• group - the child attends classes together with peers. Through play situations and communication, he learns to better understand himself and behave in society in an acceptable way, without humiliating or offending others.

Prevention of aggressive behavior in children

Parents' fears that their child has serious problems are not always justified. Often seemingly insurmountable difficulties turn out to be not so terrible in reality.

Still, it is important to listen to your children and understand what is happening in their lives now. At the right attitude you can easily prevent an aggressive outburst, channel strong emotions into the right direction and reconcile the child with with your own feelings, and therefore with the whole world!

Video: How to extinguish aggression in a child (S.A. Amonashvili)

Sometimes the parents of a child who has started going to school or is just about to enter first grade are faced with the problem of attacks of aggression in their child. How to behave in this age crisis and what to do if he does not listen to his parents and teachers?

Causes

Aggression in children is a negative reaction to various actions or comments of others. If a child is not brought up correctly, this reaction can develop from a temporary one into a permanent one and become a trait of his character.

The sources of a child’s aggressive behavior can be somatic or brain diseases, as well as improper upbringing. Another reason for this behavior may be the age crisis.

At this time, children begin to recognize themselves as students, and this is a new role for them. This contributes to the emergence of a new psychological quality in the child - self-esteem.

Watch a video about the causes of crisis in children aged seven and methods for overcoming it:

Why doesn't he listen?

From now on this is no longer little baby, but a real adult who strives to become independent. At 6-7 years old, children lose their natural childishness, so they deliberately begin to make faces and behave unreasonably. The reason for this is that children begin to separate the inner “I” from external behavior. They are aware that their behavior can cause reactions from others. Unnatural behavior shows that it is just children's experiment, although because of such experiences of the baby, the parents are very worried and worried. Besides, It becomes difficult to put the child to bed or send him to wash, an unusual reaction appears:

• neglect of requests;
• thinking about why to do this;
• negation;
• contradictions and bickering.

During this period, children demonstrably violate parental prohibitions. They criticize any rules that they did not set themselves, and strive to take the position of adults. The existing principles are understood by the child as a childish image that needs to be overcome.

Children as young as 7 can test how others react to them. bad behavior

Why does a baby make croaking sounds?

There are times when children begin to make various sounds: croaking, mooing, chirping, and the like. This could just be a continuation of their experiments, but this time with sounds and words. If your child does not have speech problems, then there is no reason to worry. If there are any defects or stuttering, you should consult a doctor.

• Express your approval of your child’s independent actions, allow him to be autonomous;
• Try to become an adviser, not a prohibitor. Support in difficult moments;
• Talk to your child about adult topics;
• Find out his thoughts on an issue of interest, listen to him, this is much better than criticism;
• Let the child express his opinion, and if he is wrong, then gently correct him;
• Allow yourself to recognize his views and express agreement - nothing threatens your authority, and your offspring’s self-esteem will be strengthened;
• Let your child know that he is valued by you, respected and understood that if he makes a mistake, you will always be there and provide help;
• Show your child the possibility of achieving the goal. Praise him for his success;
• Try to give answers to all the child’s questions. Even if the questions are repeated, repeat the answer patiently.

Stand for the baby best friend!

Classes for children 6-7 years old

Actions that show him that there are other opportunities to attract attention and show strength will help reduce a child’s unstimulated aggression. To look like an adult, you don’t need to assert yourself at the expense of those who are weaker, or use bad words when irritated. The following methods for emotional release are recommended:

1. Tear into pieces paper that you always need to have with you;
2. Shout loudly in a special place;
3. Play sports, run and jump;
4. Knocking out rugs and pillows will be useful;
5. Practice hitting the punching bag;
6. Playing with water helps a lot (contemplation of water and its inhabitants in aquariums, fishing, throwing stones into a pond, etc.)

Water perfectly relieves aggression and lifts the mood of the whole family.

How to find a common language?

During attacks of aggression in a child, parents need to be calm and restrained. You need to try to understand how your child feels. The most important thing is to love and understand your baby, to give him more attention and time.

Unconditional love - The best way fight against aggression. Moms and dads know their children very well and are able to prevent unexpected outbursts of anger. Physical aggression is easier to curb than verbal aggression. At the moment of a surge of emotions, when the child pouts his lips, squints his eyes, or otherwise demonstrates his dissatisfaction, you need to try to redirect his attention to another object, activity, or simply hold him. If the aggression could not be stopped in time, it is necessary to convince the child that this should not be done, it is very bad.

How to deal with shyness?

Among other things, at the age of 7 years, children begin to pay attention to their appearance and clothes. They strive to look like adults. For the first time, the child critically evaluates his behavior. During this period, shyness can very easily develop; the child is not always able to adequately evaluate the opinions of others. An incorrect assessment of what is happening can frighten a child and make him afraid of attracting attention. It may be difficult to establish contacts. But sometimes children are just naturally shy.

How to help?

Shy child more receptive, often those around him are not able to understand him. Moms and dads are advised to emphasize more often good qualities their children. Thus, his self-confidence needs to be nurtured. Under no circumstances should you be angry with your child for his shyness. He may feel somehow flawed, different from the rest. This may have a bad effect on the development of his character. As an adult, a person will remember his childhood resentment. A child will not become brave and decisive from constant reproaches, but he is able to withdraw from it.