“My son is 14 years old. He became aggressive and uncontrollable. What should I do?" A question from a desperate parent to a psychologist. The answer was not long in coming: “It would be surprising if your son showed different behavior as a teenager.” Happy smiley at the end. Probably, it was he who had to convince his mother that a teenager’s aggressiveness was normal and commonplace.
“My son is 14 years old. He became aggressive and uncontrollable. What should I do?"
A question from a desperate parent to a psychologist. The answer did not take long to arrive:
“It would be surprising if your son exhibited different behavior as a teenager.”. Happy smiley at the end.
Probably, it was he who had to convince his mother that a teenager’s aggressiveness was normal and commonplace.
Beyond normality
Should ordinary people be surprised then when the younger generation reacts aggressively to their comments, not only verbally, revealing all the delights of obscene language, but also physically.
Videos posted by teenagers themselves on YouTube testify to blatant manifestations of teenage aggressiveness. They are capable of many things:
hit an elderly man in the face with his fist, spit at him, ridicule him, throw him to the ground and kick him to death (grandfather did not allow him to smoke and tried to give a lecture on the dangers of smoking);
torture and mutilate stray cats and dogs (“What? Does anyone really need them? We’re ridding society of animal waste...”);
mock the homeless (“They are the scum of society, let them know their place!”);
beat up your teacher (“Grandma is senile, but she teaches physical education!”);
abuse a classmate (“Yes, he’s a major, so we rinsed him in the toilet of the school toilet so that he wouldn’t show off”);
take revenge ex-lover(this is how one girl and a group of friends beat and humiliated) or her lover (for example, a teenager inflicted several knife wounds on his “unfaithful Juliet”).
Aggression and aggressiveness of children exceeds all acceptable standards. Are we really going to consider this the “norm” of teenage behavior?
What is aggressiveness
Psychologists distinguish between the concepts of aggression and aggressiveness. Aggression translated from Latin means “attack”, “hostility”. Aggression, first of all, means actions.
Some psychoanalysts view aggression as a continuation of the death instinct, the desire for destruction described by Freud.
The Austrian scientist Konrad Lorenz argued in his monograph that aggression is not evil, but a natural instinct that promotes the survival of the species, and is not at all aimed at its self-destruction.
Aggression researcher A. Bass defines it “as a reaction, as a physical action or threat of such an action on the part of one person, which reduces the freedom or genetic fitness of another person, as a result of which the other person’s body receives painful stimuli.”
Aggressiveness is a human property that manifests itself in readiness for aggressive behavior. Moreover, a certain predisposition to aggression can be either conscious of the individual or unconscious. Psychologists identify several types of manifestations of aggressive behavior:
2. Indirect.
3. Negativism.
4. Resentment, envy, hatred.
5. Suspiciousness.
6. Feelings of guilt.
7. Verbal aggression.
8. Irritation.
As we see, aggression has different faces; it can be directed at people around you, the external environment and at yourself.
So, aggression is, on the one hand, a consequence of aggressiveness, and on the other, it arises in the process of social learning.
Needed for life
Being aggressive is fashionable these days. It is believed that aggression is a unique mechanism of psychological protection of the individual from the influences of the outside world on him. In order not to be passive, dependent, unable to defend your own interests and goals, you need to be aggressive.
A mother in the sandbox is happy that her little one took a bucket from another baby:
Well done, he knows how to achieve his goals! He won't let himself be offended...
Another one on the way to kindergarten teaches:
If someone pushes you, give your change.
In adolescence, which is the transition from childhood to adulthood, the failures of upbringing become most obvious.
Teenagers
The urethral teenager shows aggression in the form of anger in case of injustice towards his pack, infringement of his free, unrestricted person, and treatment of him out of rank - from top to bottom (for example, praise).
His anger manifests itself clearly; he knows no boundaries or boundaries. The urethral vector is not content with half measures. Here rage is rage, love is love.
At school, a urethral teenager is immediately visible, he smiles with a special smile, walks with a confident gait, often with an unbuttoned shirt, people involuntarily look after him. The teachers call him an informal leader, they give him an individual diary for assessing his behavior, he wears it, calmly gets bad marks and looks at the teachers with such an expression that one feels the complete powerlessness of adults in front of this daredevil.
The key to a urethral child is to be his regent, turn to him for support, help, advice, delegating your powers to him. Under no circumstances should you get involved in pulling the blanket over yourself, putting pressure on him, demanding unquestioning obedience - you will still lose.
It is best to make him a class leader; he will lead the team, and this is how you can most productively direct his energy in a positive direction. When there is a urethral child in the class, in fact, this is happiness; you can calmly entrust him with control over class discipline, aiming children at high educational achievements and good team cohesion.
He is merciful by nature, and making him your ally rather than your enemy is quite easy. He is not touchy, easy-going, understanding.
If there are two urethral leaders in the class, then it is natural that they will quarrel, and the conflict will be accompanied by aggression. It will all end in a fight where they will fight for life and death. It is better to prevent the reason for aggression in the bud - to transfer them to different classes, determine different territories and fields of activity for them.
An anal teenager, with the correct development of innate abilities, is an obedient, flexible child who respects the opinions of elders. The downside of an anal teenager is verbal aggression, rancor, vindictiveness, resentment, and sadism.
For a child, his mother is of great importance; if she pays little attention to him, does not praise him for the things he does, then he feels that he is not loved and is offended by everyone - first by girls, and then by women. He kicks his classmates in the butt, calls them dirty names, and can curse at the teacher.
The skinny child aggressively elbows everyone out of the way, he is ambitious, and quickly finds ways to get out of any situation. He shows aggression when he does not get what he wants, for example, a high mark (he was promised a bicycle for it), when his ambitious plans are infringed. He tries to argue with the teacher, “shakes” his license, but just as quickly breaks down, he just as quickly forgets about what he did. Leather workers demand equal conditions, unconsciously feeling that they will overtake everyone, they do not like to lose and their principle is: “All means are good for victory.”
It should be noted that negative sides skin of a teenager with improper development is a lack of self-discipline, inability to control himself, limit himself (for example, he cannot organize himself to come to school on time).
He behaves aggressively when he loses any material assets, because for him they are a certain foundation of psychological comfort.
A muscular teenager behaves aggressively towards others only if he is brought up incorrectly. From birth this child is extremely calm, his normal state is monotony. He begins to show aggression if he is transferred to the “war” state, giving him sports section, where he will only get every chance to get into a criminal environment, since sports do not develop the main thing in a muscleman - the ability to positively use one’s strength.
The correct development for such a child is accustoming him to work, even hard work. physical work. Initiating your erogenous zone- muscles, in this way he enjoys the process of work itself and subsequently becomes a “peaceful builder.”
A muscular teenager alone will never start a fight, he is guided by a skinner, and then he, together with his muscular comrades, is capable of committing violence. Dear, good-natured boy, they would never think badly of him...
It is important to be fed, well-fed, and well-rested for Have a good mood. Satisfaction of natural human needs for him is the greatest joy in life.
So, a group of teenagers attacked a passerby near the garages, beat him, and took his money. The skinny leader of the gang bought himself a watch with stolen funds, and the muscle men used the portion of food he allocated - simple, coarse food at that - sausages in dough. large quantities. We're stuffed to death. Juvenile delinquents in dire need of occupational therapy.
The upper vectors have a significant impact on the aggressiveness of adolescents. adds emotion to aggressive behavior: “Sasha threw a tantrum when she saw me with another girl, then grabbed her by the hair, screamed and fought.”
They are most susceptible to auto-aggression; they experience internal tension from interaction with the outside world deep within themselves until the accumulated tangle of contradictions and misunderstandings at one moment spills out in the form of suicide, unexpected for those around them.
Predictable behavior of anal-sound adolescents in a severe state of resentment and hatred of life and people. Without understanding the psyche of such adolescents, their outwardly similar condition may remain unnoticed until the tragic outcome.
A teenager always shows aggression verbally; he easily shouts down all other peers and his derogatory nicknames “stick” usually for life.
The vector adds thoughtfulness to the teenager’s aggressive behavior - not only will we not prove his involvement in the crime, but we will also not suspect him. An invisible, barely perceptible child, fulfilling his main function of “surviving at all costs”, exposing others, hides evidence of his own socially disapproved behavior.
So, a teenager’s aggressiveness is a wake-up call for parents and teachers. They are doing something wrong. We need to reconsider our attitude towards the child and the methods of his upbringing.
An effective means of helping to cope with the aggressive behavior of a teenager is for parents to understand two postulates:
1. It is necessary to raise a child correctly, in accordance with his innate vectors, so that he becomes a Human Being and absorbs culture.
2. It is necessary to be able to understand the underlying reasons for a teenager’s aggressiveness and teach him to remove negative feelings without causing damage, both mental and physical, to other people.
For example, realizing the value of silence for a sound child, parents need to create comfortable, calm conditions for him so that, when returning from school, he has the opportunity to be alone with himself.
Parental love becomes the most effective and targeted if it is shown systematically, only then does the child feel that he is loved and this relieves aggression: hugging the skin teenager, praising the anal one, admiring the urethral one, creating a close emotional connection with the visual, listen to the oral, etc.
The aggressiveness of teenagers is not inevitable; much depends on us, their educators.
Proofreader: Valeria Starkova
The article was written based on the training materials “ System-vector psychology»One of the main problems in defining aggression is that the term covers a wide variety of actions. When people characterize someone as aggressive, they may say that he habitually insults others, or that he is often unfriendly, or that he, although quite strong, tries to do things his own way, or perhaps that he is a strong advocate. his beliefs, or, perhaps, without fear he rushes into the maelstrom of insoluble problems. Thus, when studying aggressive human behavior, we are immediately faced with a serious and controversial problem: how to find an expressive and suitable definition of the basic concept.
According to one definition proposed by Bass, aggression is any behavior that threatens or causes harm to others.
The second definition, proposed by several well-known researchers, contains the following provision: for certain actions to be qualified as aggression, they must include the intention of offense or insult, and not simply lead to such consequences. And finally, the third point of view expressed by Zilman limits the use of the term aggression to an attempt to inflict bodily or physical harm on others. 1
Despite significant disagreements regarding definitions of aggression, many social scientists are inclined to accept a definition close to the second. This definition includes both the category of intent and the actual causing of offense or harm to others. Thus, the majority currently accepts the following definition: Aggression is any form of behavior aimed at insulting or harming another living being who does not want such treatment.
This definition suggests that aggression should be viewed as a pattern of behavior rather than as an emotion, motive, or attitude. This important statement has created a lot of confusion. The term aggression is often associated with negative emotions such as anger; with motives, such as the desire to offend or harm; and even with negative attitudes, such as racial or ethnic prejudice. While all of these factors undoubtedly play an important role in behavior that results in harm, their presence is not a necessary condition for such action. Anger is not a necessary condition for attacking others; aggression unfolds both in a state of complete composure and extremely emotional excitement. It is also not at all necessary that aggressors hate or even dislike those towards whom their actions are directed. Many cause suffering to people who are viewed more positively than negatively.
1.2 Causes and specifics of manifestations of aggressiveness in adolescents
Adolescence is one of the most difficult periods of human development. Despite its relative short duration (from 14 to 18 years), it practically largely determines the entire future life of an individual. It is during adolescence that the formation of character and other foundations of personality primarily occurs. These circumstances: the transition from childhood cared for by adults to independence, the change from the usual schooling to other types of social activities, as well as rapid hormonal changes in the body - make the teenager especially vulnerable and susceptible to negative environmental influences.
A modern teenager lives in a world that is complex in its content and socialization trends. This is due, firstly, to the pace and rhythm of technical and technological transformations, which impose new demands on growing people. Secondly, with the rich nature of information, which creates a lot of “noise” that deeply affects a teenager who has not yet developed a clear position in life. Thirdly, with the environmental and economic crises that have affected our society, which causes children to feel hopeless and irritated. At the same time, young people develop a sense of protest, often unconscious, and at the same time their individualization grows, which, with the loss of general social interest, leads to selfishness. Teenagers suffer more than other age groups from the instability of the social, economic and moral situation in the country, having lost the necessary orientation in values and ideals today - the old ones are destroyed, new ones are not created. 1
The personality of a child and adolescent is formed not on its own, but in its environment. The role of small groups in which a teenager interacts with other people is especially important.
The combination of unfavorable biological, psychological, family and other socio-psychological factors distorts the entire lifestyle of adolescents. Characteristic of them is a violation of emotional relationships with people around them. Teenagers fall under the strong influence of the teenage group, which often forms an asocial scale of life values. The very way of life, environment, style and social circle contribute to the development and consolidation of deviant behavior. Thus, the existing negative microclimate in many families causes the emergence of alienation, rudeness, hostility of a certain part of adolescents, the desire to do everything out of spite, contrary to the will of others, which creates objective preconditions for the emergence of demonstrative disobedience, aggressiveness and destructive actions.
The intensive development of self-awareness and self-criticism leads to the fact that a child in adolescence discovers contradictions not only in the world around him, but also in his own self-image.
Spontaneously emerging groups of peers bring together teenagers who are similar in level of development and interests. The group reinforces and even cultivates deviant values and behavior patterns and has a strong influence on the personal development of adolescents, becoming a regulator of their behavior. The sense of distance that teenagers lose, the sense of what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, leads to unpredictable events. Exist special groups, which are characterized by an attitude towards immediate satisfaction of desires, passive protection from difficulties, and the desire to shift responsibility to others. Teenagers in these groups are characterized by a disdainful attitude towards learning, poor academic performance, and bravado of failure to fulfill responsibilities: avoiding in every possible way to perform any duties and errands around the house, prepare homework, or even attend classes, such teenagers find themselves faced with a large amount of “extra time” . But these teenagers are characterized precisely by their inability to spend their leisure time meaningfully. The vast majority of these teenagers do not have any individual hobbies; they do not participate in sections or clubs. They do not attend exhibitions and theaters, read very little, and the content of the books they read usually does not go beyond the adventure-detective genre. Vainly spent time pushes teenagers to search for new “thrills”. Alcoholism and drug addiction are closely woven into the structure of the deviant lifestyle of adolescents. Often teenagers, by drinking alcohol, seem to celebrate their “merits”: successful adventures, hooligan acts, fights, petty thefts. 1 When explaining their bad deeds, teenagers have the wrong idea of morality, justice, courage, courage. 2
Adolescent children are especially dependent on the microenvironment and specific situation. One of the defining elements of the microenvironment in the relationships that shape personality is the family. At the same time, what is decisive is not its composition - complete, incomplete, disintegrated - but the moral atmosphere, the relationships that develop between adult family members, between adults and children. It has been established that the level of physical fitness of aggressive behavior is most pronounced in children from a working environment, and the most aggressive are children from the environment of rural machine operators. At the same time, adolescents in this group have a minimal level of negativism. Verbal forms of aggressive behavior are typical for most adolescents from families of middle-level employees. At the same time, these adolescents are characterized by a relatively low level of physical aggressive behavior. In terms of the level of indirect aggression, adolescents from families of auxiliary workers and families of executive employees are in first place. Teenagers from among executives and families of the intelligentsia (doctors, teachers, engineers) are characterized by increased negativism. Aggressive behavior is least pronounced among adolescents from among sales workers. Apparently in this case, not only material well-being is reflected, but also the desire developed in this environment to avoid conflicts, smooth out emerging contradictions, and not aggravate the situation.
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Nowadays one can often encounter aggression and hostility on the streets. There has been a particularly significant surge in the spread of aggressiveness among schoolchildren. Hostile actions of minors are often aimed either at a specific child or group in order to show their strength, superiority or permissiveness.
Minors who feel unloved and unaccepted by society are increasingly showing immoral behavior through a way of recreating their inner world and inner pain. Trying to get rid of or reset internal negativity, adolescents express contradictions through aggressive behavior aimed at humiliating the weak. During the period of restriction of internal needs, tension accumulates inside the growing child. Unable to cope with internal stress, the teenager discharges himself through aggressive behavior.
Children who behave hostilely are labeled " difficult teenager" Often they are isolated from the group; those around them are not very concerned about what the child’s personality is experiencing inside; they predict a negative future for her. This reaction contributes to the development of self-will in them. If a student does not have psychological disorders, then his aggressive behavior can still be dealt with through the interaction of parents, teachers, and a psychologist. It's important not to neglect minor child.
Causes
Hostility directed at someone weaker is an indicator of a problem within the child's character. Often, difficult children grow up in problematic families or have themselves suffered from personal humiliation. The object of their revenge is not the offender (he is much stronger than the minor), but a weaker person, more often these are younger children who are lower in social status and are raised in single-parent families.
The aggression of minors is caused by violations in emotional sphere. When committing violence, a child cannot relate how physically and emotionally painful it is to the person he is abusing.
The inclinations to show empathy are formed in preschool age, parents are responsible for this.
This means that the cause of aggressive behavior is the irresponsibility of parents. This is not the only reason for the development of aggressiveness in minors.
Often, a child’s aggressiveness occurs under group pressure. The mechanism of pressure in a group can incline a minor to violence without his desire to exhibit this act. The initiator of violence, demonstrating to the group members that he is capable of much, which means he is “cool,” encourages everyone from the environment and convinces that strength is on their side.
Psychological studies have revealed that at three years old a child is at the peak of his aggressiveness. This is due to the fact that during this period it is incredibly difficult for children to learn prohibitions, as well as rules of behavior. It will depend on the parents how they will redirect the child’s inappropriate behavior into a peaceful direction. First of all, it depends on the behavior of the parents, how peaceful and friendly they are.
Thus, when describing the reasons for the emergence of aggressive behavior in adolescents, one should take into account family education. Indifference to children's problems and lack of support creates an emotional vacuum in a teenager, which develops into an inability to control emotions independently. During puberty, a child is subject to both emotional and psychological pressure and most needs the understanding of loved ones. Parents, passionate about work and career, ignoring the needs of the teenager, buy him off with various gifts and freedom of action.
Adults should develop the child's ability to understand own feelings, learn to control them. The teenager must see how to express negative manifestations more calmly, without harming others and, most importantly, himself.
The opposite of indifference in raising children is excessive, “blind” parental care. Such parental love neglects the teenager’s desires to make independent decisions.
Child acceptance independent decisions promotes learning from your mistakes. Over time, a minor, surrounded by mega care, becomes uncontrollable with an obsessive desire to prove his independence to his parents. This is expressed in aggressive behavior with peers or with animals, much less often with oneself.
Also, the cause of aggressive behavior in adolescents is the dysfunction of the family itself. If a child has grown up surrounded by aggression since childhood, then it is possible that he will show a tendency towards identical behavior.
Of course, not every minor dysfunctional family grows up aggressive. However, the negative example set by the parent will have a negative impact on the development of the psyche of the growing child. The juvenile's aggression will target peers who have not had problems in the family.
At school, the influence of classmates and teachers has a special impact on the development of aggressive behavior in adolescents. Frequent conflicts with teachers and academic workload unbalance the precarious psyche of a minor; all of the above is accompanied by unrequited love.
Since society has an impact on the formation of behavior, the phenomenon of the emergence of aggressive behavior in a teenager may be the group of peers among whom the child communicates. It has been noticed that if yesterday a student was calm, then tomorrow he can “bully” a peer, thereby proving his “coolness” in order to be accepted into a group of significant peers.
The problem of aggressive behavior of adolescents is constantly discussed in society. The appearance of this personality quality is observed in representatives of both sexes.
Alcohol, smoking, obscene language, insults and bullying of others have become the norm today. Teenagers do not realize why they are being punished if everyone does it. It is already not uncommon for a minor from a good school to turn into an aggressive person. This often means that he is not receiving attention at home. The aggressive behavior of a teenager is a unique form of protest caused by non-acceptance of him as an individual.
Teenagers who show aggression are endowed with a low level of intelligence and tend to imitate. Such minors lack value orientations, have no hobbies, and are characterized by narrowness and instability in their hobbies. Such students are often embittered, anxious, rude, and suffer from egocentrism, as well as the expression of extreme self-esteem (positive or negative). Aggressive behavior of adolescents is a means of increasing independence, as well as their own prestige.
Prevention
Preventive work antisocial behavior young people receive sufficient attention in the education system. The problem of aggression among young people is considered the most discussed at school meetings. In educational institutions, a psychologist and a social pedagogue work with problem students.
Aggressive behavior of adolescents is more often noted in the context of school problems. For this reason, teachers should be attentive to schoolchildren and, having detected changes in children’s behavior, should monitor negative manifestations in order to eradicate aggressiveness in children. early stage.
The work of the psychological service is aimed at preventing illegal actions and preventing the development of adolescence. With all the qualified help of teachers, parents are the main people capable of raising a child correctly and not turning him into an aggressive person. Therefore, work to prevent the development of aggressive behavior should be carried out both among schoolchildren and among parents. Working together will give good results and be effective.
Correction
Teenage aggression is eliminated by the principles of correctional work presented below:
– it is necessary to establish contact with the teenager;
– to perceive and respect him as an individual without judgment;
- have a positive attitude towards his inner world.
Areas of correctional work include:
– teaching a teenager self-control skills (the ability to manage anger);
– training to reduce anxiety levels;
– formation of understanding of personal emotions, development;
– development of positive self-esteem.
When the first signs of aggression appear, we can recommend that the teenager take a break, divert his attention, switching to something else, more pleasant. It will be effective to close your eyes, count to ten, or mentally “fill your mouth with water” if there is a person in front of you who is annoying with his conversation. Such actions can prevent the expression of unnecessary hostility.
It is necessary to teach a teenager to treat those things in life that cannot be changed - calmly. Of course, you can get angry at them, but there is no point in it.
There is another way out: accept them, treat them more calmly. An important point advocates preventing chronic nervous exhaustion and fatigue, since they underlie aggression and irritability.
When the first signs of fatigue appear, you should take a rest and introduce moments into your life that will delight you. It is important to teach a teenager to be attentive to himself, introduce positive changes in life, and try to be happy, since only such a person can be calm and balanced.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
As you know, the most difficult period for parents when a child is growing up is the teenage stage. At this time, the child gradually becomes an adult, his body changes, which is accompanied by the active development of the hormonal system. Such changes cause different problems– disobedience, rebellion, various conflicts and, finally, aggression. The last behavioral feature brings especially a lot of trouble to parents, teachers, and the teenager himself. But what are the reasons for the appearance of aggressiveness at this difficult age? And how should its correct correction be carried out?
Why does aggression occur in teenagers? Causes
Most experts argue that parents are solely to blame for the appearance of aggression in adolescents, and environmental factors play a secondary role. After all, it is the behavior of mom and dad that determines how the child is perceived the world. Teenagers do not always understand that adults often make mistakes, deceive and fail. At this difficult age, children react to everything extremely sharply, so any incorrect remark can provoke hysterics in them.
Thus, aggression in adolescents can be a consequence of excessive overprotection. After all, if parents do not give a student independence at all, this can provoke a rebellion in adolescence. In this case, he does not perceive adults as an authority, wanting to independently make decisions about what is best for him, about how and with whom to spend time, etc. In addition, such aggression can develop if the parents are unable to agree among themselves on rules for raising a child in a family.
Sometimes such disruptive behavior may be an attempt to attract the attention of adults/parents to one's personality. So, if mom and dad are constantly busy with their own affairs, the student simply feels unnecessary and abandoned. In this case, being rude makes him feel loved.
Another factor that provokes aggression in adolescents is considered to be domestic violence. In this case, incorrect behavior may be a way of protecting oneself from a dangerous person or the result of copying behavior loved one who is the aggressor.
Sometimes the problem of aggression appears in relation to the second child in the family. This is facilitated by comparisons, selective praise, etc.
Also, such behavior disorder may appear due to a constant lack of money in the family. Indeed, in adolescence, a child is especially dependent on the opinions of others, and his lack of a new mobile phone, beautiful things and a powerful computer leads to strong internal conflicts. back side Such a cause of aggression is wealth, which is accompanied by permissiveness, and can also provoke behavioral disorders.
Very often, aggression in adolescents occurs in families where each member follows certain traditions. Such children do not like to wear standard clothes chosen by their parents, live according to the rules, engage in the same activities, etc.
Also, a secondary cause of aggression is hormonal surges, which also should not be ignored.
Correction of aggression in adolescents
Parents need to realize that they will not be able to cope with the problem by force. Physical and mental violence encounters a wall built by a teenager and can only worsen the aggression. You need to try to find out exactly what things provoke aggression in your child, and then try to establish contact with the maturing student. Try to always talk to your son or daughter absolutely calmly, without raising your voice. Of course, this can be difficult, but such a strategy will set your child in the necessary mood, as a result of which he will begin to pay attention to what you say and will refuse or reduce the amount of rudeness and harshness.
If a teenager begins to speak out, there is no need to interrupt him. Only after his flow of speech or even abuse comes to an end can one begin to talk. Remember that your child has the right to express his indignation and irritation, to be angry and distrustful. Such emotions are normal for each of us, but in adolescence they are especially exaggerated.
Removing aggression in teenagers occurs more effectively when parents look for ways to help their child throw out negativity. This role can be played by various types of sports training, selected in accordance with the interests of the student. Boxing, dancing, and swimming will help a teenager get rid of various contradictory and aggressive feelings. Such loads will be especially useful if the child is hyperactive.
It will also be beneficial to try to give the teenager what he lacks. So, schoolchildren with leadership qualities should be given the opportunity to demonstrate them, if not at school, then in sports, or in amateur performances, etc.
If parents cannot cope with the teenager, and he does not want to make contact, it is advisable to seek help from a qualified specialist. It is recommended that your family visit a psychologist who can help you all cope with your concerns.
Regardless of the characteristics of the child, the presence or absence of aggressiveness, the parents’ approach to education plays an extremely important role in the formation of personality. So mom and dad should remain patient, show love and tenderness, and communicate with the teenager on an equal basis.
What is aggression?
Aggression, the manifestations of which most often cause a negative reaction from the people observing it, can also have a positive effect. Such a moment is considered to be an opportunity to discharge overwhelming emotions and a person to defend his positions and increase self-esteem.
But aggressiveness still needs to be controlled so as not to create life problems for yourself. It manifests itself especially strongly in adolescence, so it is important to understand the reasons for its appearance.
A person’s aggression means that he wants to feel power over someone, to subjugate him. It can be both internal, directed inward (auto-aggression) and external, the object of which is other people or objects. It can also be obvious and hidden. Signs of obvious aggression are considered to be an increased degree of conflict, assault, the ability to put pressure on others, and slander. And the hidden form is manifested by withdrawal into oneself, attempts at suicide.
Adolescence and aggression
Any person can have such character traits, but they are especially noticeable in teenagers. This is a concern for many parents who notice their children being angry and uncontrollable.
Also read:
Why do teenagers become aggressive?
A rare child who entered adolescence, does not change his behavior. As a rule, he becomes more aggressive. This is due to the restructuring of his body, the change in the characters of the same teenagers around him, who during this period begin to assert themselves, prove something to each other, and try to earn respect in this way.
There are cases of violence against less aggressive peers, who are designated as outsiders and mocked in every possible way - both morally and physically. They create their own groups and do not allow strangers there. The relationship with parents also changes. They seem stupid to teenagers, and their opinions are considered not worthy of attention. Teenagers are capable of hurting anyone, without making allowances for age.
There are several reasons for aggression in adolescents. Five of them are considered the most studied and confirmed by specialists.
The first cause of aggression in adolescents
The first reason for aggressive behavior in adolescents is considered to be constitutional predisposition. That is, a person who is initially irritable, suspicious, withdrawn, anxious, for whom it is important what others think about him, can become such a person.
The second cause of aggression in adolescents
The second reason for adolescent aggressiveness lies in the formation of such behavior under negative action printed (newspapers, magazines) and electronic (Internet) sources of information. Television and computer games that involve scenes of cruelty, violence, and criminal elements in the plot have a strong influence on character.
The third reason for aggression in adolescents
The third reason why a person with aggressive habits may develop may be the family where the child grows up. If there is misunderstanding between family members, rejection or too much care for children, their pampering by adults, frequent insults, the relationship between parents and children is not colored with positive emotional shades, then all these moments can create the ground for nurturing a future aggressor.
The fourth cause of aggression in adolescents
The fourth case when a teenager can become aggressive involves earlier initiation of alcohol or drug use. In one of these intoxications, he becomes so liberated that he does not even realize how cruel and unpredictable he becomes.
The fifth reason for aggression in adolescents
The fifth reason for the emergence of the aggressive character of adolescents is the state of the environment and society as a whole at the time of the formation of their personality. With an unfavorable environment, problems with radiation, noise, and an overabundance of negative information, preconditions for aggression appear. Life during economic and other crises, in the absence of fair laws, and a feeling of hopelessness can also lead to protest behavior in a teenager, which can result in aggression.
The main influence on a child is still exerted by the environment where he grows up. Parents must understand that their child has not grown up yet, although he is trying to prove it to everyone. It's complicated transitional age, when a teenager most of all needs love and understanding in the family, which can reduce unnecessary anxieties and prevent his aggressiveness from developing.
