When the news of my departure to Montenegro reached my relatives, my great aunt, good years 10-15 living in the USA, told my mother that it was dangerous. Because Montenegrin men are beautiful. They are tall, dark-haired, beautiful and in general, I am going with my samovar (boyfriend) to Tula (Montenegro).
The country of luxurious men.
Ability to see wonderful men Every time I went out into the street, it seemed very interesting to me. If they are all nice, then, for sure, among their compatriots they are considered quite ordinary and do not pay attention to their appearance. You are walking down the street, and someone meets you nice men walking in silence, talking on a cell phone, discussing football with a friend, or laughing with their girlfriends. About beauty, of which, by the way, nothing was said and this fact was not noted by anyone.
Yes, at the airport in Russia I saw very tall Montenegrins, no lower than 2 m 5 cm for sure. There were two of them. They were not particularly beautiful and looked like Greeks.
The airport (the locals call it “airfield”) near Podgorica greeted me with the magical smell of flowers and pine needles. But I didn’t notice any beautiful men. Maybe, of course, I was just tired from the flight.
However, they ( handsome men) did not meet me on the 2nd day, and on the 3rd, and even a week later. Perhaps I don’t have even an ounce of sense of beauty, and I can only enjoy the sight of a Tula samovar, but the fact remained a fact. I didn’t feel like Alice among the huge, wondrously beautiful plants.
In fact, some men are even shorter than me, which is generally indecent, because... my height is 168 cm.
Students and schoolchildren, in my opinion, are no different in their striking appearance. Some of them look Turkish, style their hair with gel and have a slight oriental touch in their appearance. Almost everyone is dressed in sneakers, jeans, sweatshirts, jumpers, T-shirts, and less often - shirts. I think that everyone dresses in the only semblance of a mall, where 3-4 world brands of affordable youth clothing are presented.
Well, what about the girls?
Girls also mostly wear sneakers and sneakers, and also prefer sport style in clothes. You can see a girl wearing pajama pants or tight tights... This also happens in Russia, but it is still considered more strange than stylish. No plush tracksuits to be seen here :). It’s easier to meet the office fairy here, of course, than the Tooth Fairy, but it’s also rare. They don’t walk the streets, but apparently they also take taxis to the bakery. Here, by the way, this is a fairly cheap form of transport.
Freak-free or women's happiness.
I didn't see any freaks here. The country is very small, the cities too... Apparently there is a shame and blood feud against the freaks and gopniks. Yes, they haven’t forgotten about blood feud here yet, and if anything happens... then, they say, families can become strong “friends.” I heard that here girls only go out in pairs or with one of their relatives, so that God forbid they think something. Once they suspect you of something and that’s it... goodbye to hopes for a magical wedding and an equally wonderful life with a local prince.
And this life, according to stories, really blossoms with all the colors of the rainbow.
Leisure.
Already in the morning, Montenegrin men smile at the friendly sun and leave the house “on business.” Business, as far as I understand, is all concentrated in kafanas (coffee shops), of which there are a great many in the city of Podgorica. From morning until evening, men sit in kafans, drink coffee and beer, laugh uncontrollably, sometimes seriously discuss something, talk loudly on the phone. In fairness, it must be said that the guards shopping centers, waiters, store clerks and I think many other men are busy. But how many are unemployed!
Montenegrins themselves admit that they are extremely lazy and they are horrified when they hear that Russians work until 7-9 or 10 pm. For them it is 4 o'clock in the afternoon - the right time to finish the job. Again, I repeat, not for everyone. There are exceptions everywhere.
One day I was walking shopping in the center. At 11 o’clock in the morning in one of the cafes I noticed an elderly man in an “expensive tracksuit”, a rapper’s cap and black glasses. 2.5 hours later he was sitting in the same place, but already in the company of 2 young men. I returned to buy shoes and walked past another hour later. They were sitting there.
And now about what I heard. Men sit in kafanas, waiting for some profitable business, to act as an intermediary in the sale of real estate or something like that. The wait can last up to six months. While the court and the case are going on, women go to work because they are supposed to. Women are also allowed to sit in kafans, but they are much less common there.
It’s not that I don’t approve of anything, each monastery has its own rules. But, here is a peculiarity observed here.
Do you want to fall madly in love with a girl and marry her?
- Nope, I want to drink, smoke, swear and die alone in a landfill
"Nuclear Titbit"
Lazy macho men of the Black Mountains
Montenegrin men are considered among the most beautiful in Europe. Two-meter tall, smiling and charming brunettes are always open to communication with women. And considering that in the country among the indigenous population there are 20% more men than women, isn’t this a paradise for a lonely thirty-year-old beauty?
My Moscow friends, who often visit me in Montenegro, are delighted with their new Balkan fans. From the very first day they are showered with compliments, invited to drink at a café, go to the beach during the day, and go to a disco in the evening. But unlike the Turkish and Egyptian “cauldrons,” Montenegrin men will not shout to the girl they like:
Hey! Hello! Come in! What is your name? Come here! Let's get acquainted!
Running after girls and being importunate is not in the rules of the proud men of the Black Mountains.
Man and woman
Montenegrin men are very jealous and big owners. In this small provincial country, “Sex in big city“It is not customary for women to brag about their lovers, much less their number. And it’s simply dangerous to fool Montenegrin fans’ heads, crush their hearts or lead them by the nose.
After shopping in the supermarket, it will be the wife who will carry the heavy bags, walking slightly behind her imposing husband in white canvas pants. Montenegrin men do not take women seriously. They look askance at women driving, and even if you need to negotiate with a policeman, official or representative local authorities, a man will always have a better chance. The woman has to use it secret weapon- smiles and coquetry, which in most cases also works.
Montenegrin women are as tall, tall and beautiful as their men.
True, they are not very feminine, and it is even customary to greet them like a man, with a strong handshake.
Rental rules
Montenegrins are very conservative people. They still have a patriarchal way of life and house-building. The sex industry is almost undeveloped, brothels and prostitution are not popular. Montenegrins do not like to openly buy porn films or magazines.
“They will see and think that I don’t have a woman,” my friend Dragan explained to me.
Why pay for sex? - Montenegrin men are surprised, - when there are so many beautiful tourists from Russia and Ukraine around. Since Montenegrins are often too lazy to look after women, tourists often take the initiative themselves, which lazy machos are very happy about. In Montenegro, it is not customary to court women, show them signs of attention, let them pass, open doors for them or give them gifts. The laziness of Montenegrins has already become a byword. They are proud of their Ten Commandments, the meaning of which is to work less and rest more.
Family values
Marriages are more often concluded between Montenegrin men and Russian women, and not vice versa. There are also happy exceptions to the rules when such marriages are preserved and the spouses develop a joint relationship. family life, but in general there is a high divorce rate among such couples. Basically, it depends on the groom’s education and lifestyle. Since the level of school and higher education in the country is very low, Montenegrins educated abroad are very different from their less educated brothers and are more advanced in all areas of life. Montenegrins are considered good fathers And faithful husbands. In small Montenegrin towns, it’s difficult to have affairs in secret from your wives, because some neighbor will definitely see you, and in an hour everyone will know about it.
Montenegrin girls do not hold foreign suitors in high esteem; they mostly want to marry their own. I asked my Russian friends if they were dating Montenegrin girls.
Are you crazy? - my friend Stas laughed. You will have an affair with a Montenegrin woman, and then her five brothers will come to you to ask if your intentions are serious and when is your wedding...
The naked truth on your mobile phone
Men in Montenegro are different great love to gossip. When starting an affair with a Montenegrin man, it is worth keeping in mind that he will tell his friends in detail “over the cafe” about everything that happened between you.
And if he persuades you to pose for him naked on camera at some touching romantic moment mobile phone, then the picture will be instantly sent to friends. When they meet at a cafe, this will become one of their topics of discussion. There are no secrets here, who is with whom, how and when. Rumors in this small cozy country spread at the speed of light.
Russian emigrants who live here quickly adapt to the conditions of local life. Especially after the end of the tourist season, when the number of people on the streets sharply decreases, and most discos, cafes and restaurants close. Then stories about how “Ivan Ivanovich quarreled with Pyotr Petrovich” or “Masha was seen with Sasha, they both looked strange” become top news. And the entertainment of bored married couples here is reminiscent of Updike's novels.
Myths and reality.
Montenegrins are a wonderful nation. The men here are good-looking, noble, courteous and, most importantly, they are in a difficult demographic situation (the fact that in Montenegro there are 20% more men than women has already become a byword). Naturally, from this fact, as well as from tourist experiences, Russian girls draw far-reaching conclusions. And they go to Montenegro “for romantic adventures” and for grooms. In principle, they are expected here. As soon as a cute, lonely “Russian” finds herself in a bar or on the embankment, they are already bringing her a “gift from the next table” or politely sit down next to her, pronouncing the signature “hello.”
At the same time, you don’t feel like a guest of our mountain republics, no one “undresses” you with their gaze, no one (with rare exceptions) clicks their tongue after you. They just look at you with silent admiration. And a two-meter tall, dark-haired handsome man, looking at a woman like a child at a balloon seller - admiringly and with hope - cannot help but melt woman's heart. But... The first thing you will hear from a compassionate compatriot who has lived in Montenegro longer than the “season”: “Don’t flatter yourself! It is not that simple!" And in response to your surprised look, he will tell you several interesting facts about the local traditions of intersexual relations that cannot be found in the guidebook.
A man's question.
So, after a period of courtship, which among Montenegrins, by the way, can last quite a long time and is expressed mainly in joint walks along the embankments, friendly conversations and trips to the beach, the actual “relationship” period begins. This is not marriage yet, but, as they would say in Russia, “close relationships.” Perhaps even with cohabitation, that is, a civil marriage. And here surprises await foreign women. Firstly, Montenegrin men profess patriarchy. Women in the family still do not have the right to vote. But, unlike women of the East, they do not have the right to the role of a housewife. They work equally with men, and often more men. But this does not make them independent.
Yesterday's gentle admirer can turn into domestic tyrant- jealous and stubborn. And also lazy. Anecdotes are told and sayings are made about the reluctance of Montenegrins to bother with anything. “A Montenegrin in a family is like a floor lamp in a house: tall, handsome, glowing, but of no use,” they joke about them. It is believed that a typical Montenegrin grooms and cherishes his beauty, smiles and generally leads an idle life in the style of free hedonism.
Don’t be surprised that a Montenegrin will not give you gifts and flowers. This is not accepted here. No, greed has nothing to do with it. A man is ready to spend a lot of money on a girl, if he has any, during a date - delicious food, wine, discos, trips, entertainment. But gifts even on holidays - New Year, Valentine's Day, March 8th and birthday - this is unlikely. However, he doesn’t expect gifts from you either – and that’s good.
Another nice fact: Montenegrins drink no less, if not more, than Russians, and, what’s important, they don’t get drunk at all. At least to the extent that we can imagine. Firstly, the mountain origin affects (remember our Caucasians, who are able to empty a liter horn without hiccups and subsequent awkward sliding onto the owner’s carpet), and secondly, their height and powerful physique allow them to hold more alcohol without consequences.
However, despite the apparent carelessness, for the most part Montenegrins are kind fathers, loving husbands and hospitable hosts. The custom of opening the doors of the house wide in anticipation of guests is worth it! Stable in faith, faithful in friendship, unshakable in their decisions. The ability to rejoice and enjoy every moment is caused by the fact that Montenegro is located, as it were, at the intersection of the roads of East and West. When life is on the edge, in the mountains, among dangers and minute-by-minute changes, how can one not value the eternal: love, faith, friendship, family?
The other side of the coin is that they don’t know how to show tender feelings in these places. Severe restraint in the manifestation of passion (especially before marriage) is characteristic of both women and men. This does not mean that there is no passion - it boils in every Montenegrin home. But character traits are dictated by the characteristics of nature. The sea breathing with sensuality and the inaccessible silent mountains. It sounds beautiful, but with our ability to “turn our souls inside out,” it’s hard for us to get used to it.
Be careful, women!
The women in these parts are no less amazing than the men. Tall black-haired beauties with luxurious slender figures, long legs. They know how to dress, they know how (no matter what) to get their way. But why then do Montenegrin men want a Russian wife so much? The answer is unexpected. The fact is that, according to the Montenegrins themselves, their women... are not feminine enough. This is such a paradox. They know how to obey to a man's word. But they hardly know how to flirt. If you observe young girls and how they interact with male peers, you can see that most girls behave absolutely like a boy. When meeting, it is customary to shake hands here - both women and men do this, regardless of the degree of intimacy. A handshake is the first information about a person. If it is strong, confident, open - the person is reliable and faithful. If it is weak, soft, you cannot rely on it. And men evaluate a local girl from this point of view. It’s like choosing a comrade in arms. You will notice a certain rudeness and harshness in a Montenegrin woman, even just when you encounter her in everyday life. For example, at a hairdresser, a girl will treat your hair as if tenderness and affection are unfamiliar to her. She simply will not pay attention to your screams. Why is this so? Perhaps it is the mountain character. Or maybe this is a consequence of the recent wars in the Balkans (now a generation is entering life that has grown up under the threat of death, hunger, grief - there is no time for tenderness and romanticism).
But it’s easy to understand the reason for a certain asexuality of the local girls. The fact is that here to be relaxed in a sensual sense means to show a certain feminine experience. Men (especially in villages and towns in the interior of the country) are sure that a girl who has already “had everything” is unworthy of becoming a wife. They say that local girls strive to go to study in Belgrade precisely in order to experience freedom. But even after gaining experience and returning to their native village, they are in no hurry to discover their feminine essence and show their sexuality. And then the Montenegrins complain to each other (and to the Russians, if one happens in their lives): “How can you sleep with them?! They don't know how to do anything at all! Just logs!” But the girls are not offended. They know that modesty in Montenegro is not just a virtue, but an important condition for survival.
Man and woman.
In fact, since Montenegro is an international and interfaith country (Catholics, Orthodox Christians and Muslims have peacefully coexisted here for many years), its traditions are diverse. Catholics (the largest number of them now live on the northern part of the coast - in Herceg Novi and the Bay of Kotor) have their own views on marriage, sex and relationships, while the Orthodox population (this is the heart of the country, as well as - conditionally - tourist Budva, Bar and Cetinje) - their. And Muslims, of whom there are many in the south, closer to Albania, naturally live their own way of life. Since Montenegrins are generally quite conservative, civilization and the influx of tourists have not yet erased this difference.
And yet there are things common to the whole country. The most important thing is a feeling that is well known to residents of small provincial towns all over the world - there are no secrets here. Nothing can be hidden. The principle of live telegraph works flawlessly. And, if today you walked along the embankment with a Montenegrin, tomorrow his distant relatives in Serbia will already know about it. Actually, this is why both women and men in this country are careful about their reputation. We can say that there are strict morals here. Let us repeat: if a girl was promiscuous in her youth, she has little chance of getting married. If a man is not serious enough in relationships and affairs, he may not be given his beloved daughter for marriage. Catholics are especially partial to reputation. Their family is built according to a clear hierarchy. There is always an “elder” (father or older brother, and sometimes the eldest woman) who makes important decisions. This includes permission for children to marry. Here they can easily ask the groom to show his bank account, and the bride to show a certificate from a gynecologist.
Montenegrins are jealous. This word sounds beautiful to them - “loving.” But this does not make manifestations of jealousy any more pleasant. Moreover, unlike civilized Europeans, Montenegrins do not condemn jealous people. Here it is normal to continue to follow the personal life of your ex-other half and continue to be jealous and create scenes for two or three years. And there are terrible legends about the jealousy of local Muslim women (they say it can even end in the physical liquidation of a rival).
But by the way, there are no conditions for betrayal here either. There is simply nowhere to go to meet people - in cafes and discos, men sit separately, girls in their own group. Well, by the way, it’s like in Moscow. Dating sites are also not popular here. Most often, young people meet at school - they grow up side by side, their families are often friends. Having begun to feel sympathy for each other, the boy and the girl walk chastely in the park, kiss dark alleys. The housing problem is acute here, just like in Russia - there is nowhere for teenagers to arrange their personal lives. Maybe on the beach in the summer, but this is the priority of seaside living. Therefore, after dating for a year or two, yesterday’s schoolchildren get married. After the birth of children, young couples often break up, or go into “partnership” mode. You will not see mature spouses on the Montenegrin streets, tenderly strolling holding hands. But perhaps the lack of romanticism in relationships is compensated by the stability of traditionalism? Here the choice is yours.
Black gold of the Balkans.
Montenegrins are essentially Mountain Serbs - the same languid-eyed guys, only taller and hotter. Back in the fifteenth century, some of the Serbs, the most freedom-loving and daring, unable to withstand Turkish assimilation, rushed to the mountains to hold the line, defend the faith, blood and purity of the nation. Next, irreversible changes occurred in the dialect, culture and customs, as a result of which the state of Montenegro was formed. Since the desperate mountaineers actually managed to avoid infusions of Turkic blood, the local guys today are the tallest in Europe.
A holiday romance.
Just as in Turkey and Egypt, hotel staff are always ready to provide sex services, so in Montenegro, crowds of realtors (both men and women) selling real estate do this. The scheme is simple: you come to buy a house by the sea, they take you to the sites. You have a good time, drink in cafes, and are given excursions to monasteries and beaches. And now your seller turns into best friend. And then into a lover. Then he tells you that there is an object that he can sell only for you at the “best” price. Such deals can be very successful for realtors...
Sex, lies and video.
Montenegrins are chaste. Officially. Here they try not to mention sex and violence in the press, they may cut out too explicit sex scenes from films broadcast on TV, they do not openly mention the fact that there is prostitution in the country (Montenegrin representatives of the oldest profession, by the way, never work in their country, they go to Serbia, and here you can meet priestesses of love from Ukraine and Macedonia). On the other hand, erotic magazines are freely sold here. True, men don’t buy them - it’s a shame. If someone sees, they may suspect that you do not have a living woman. And men also brag about their sexual victories. Sitting in a cafe in the evening, they seriously discuss how long ago, how exactly, where and with whom? This should be kept in mind by girls who decide to holiday romances with Montenegrins.
Material provided by the magazine "MOSTMAGAZINE" www.mostmontenegro.com
Montenegro: man and woman – high relationship!
Wonderful people live in Montenegro, surrounded by magnificent nature!
The men here are good-looking, noble and courteous. As a rule, these are tall, slender brunettes with dark skin and regular facial features, strong physique and excellent health. In addition, the distinctive features of the local men are their surprisingly proud posture, a special manner of holding their heads and a majestic, truly royal look.
Residents of Montenegro are in no way inferior in beauty to men: tall, long-legged, well-built with black hair, graceful facial features and brown eyes.
They are distinguished by loyalty, stubborn character and the ability to achieve their goals, despite all obstacles. They are always beautifully combed, and their clothes are chosen with great taste.
However, the local girls are often somewhat harsh and rude, which is most likely caused by their harsh upbringing, since the mountaineers are reserved and reliable people, but not sentimental.
Due to certain family traditions and established customs, local ladies are largely devoid of femininity and have almost no mastery of the art of coquetry. Young girls do not make eyes, do not flirt with boys and communicate with them on an equal basis. When they meet, they greet their acquaintances with a strong handshake (however, in this country everyone greets in this way, regardless of the degree of closeness). From a handshake, Montenegrins already form the first impression of a person: a reliable and open person will have a strong one, but if he is weak and unsure of himself, then his handshake will be appropriate. Montenegrin men evaluate their compatriots from the same point of view, as if choosing a faithful friend.
The fact is that here to be relaxed in relationships with the opposite sex means to show some kind of female experience. Men (especially in villages and small towns in the interior of the country) are sure that a girl who has already “had everything” is unworthy of becoming a wife. They say that local girls strive to go to Belgrade to study precisely in order to experience freedom. But even after gaining experience and returning to their native village, they are in no hurry to discover their feminine essence and show their sexuality. They know that modesty in Montenegro is not just a virtue, but an important condition for survival.
The most important thing is a feeling that is well known to residents of small provincial towns all over the world - there are no secrets here. Nothing can be hidden. The word of mouth principle works flawlessly. And, if today you walked with someone along the embankment, tomorrow his distant relatives in Serbia will already know about it. Actually, this is why both women and men in this country are careful about their reputation. We can say that there are strict morals here. In general, if a girl was promiscuous in her youth, she has little chance of getting married. If a man is not serious enough in relationships and affairs, he may not be given his beloved daughter for marriage.
At the same time, girls who grew up under patriarchy from an early age are accustomed to obeying men in everything and submitting to their desires.
However, many Montenegrins prefer to marry foreigners, especially Russian women. Precisely because they seem to them more feminine than their compatriots. In addition, the fact that Montenegrins are in a difficult demographic situation may also play a role. There are 20% more men than women in the country!
Naturally, from this fact, as well as from the impressions of ladies who have already visited Montenegro, Russian girls draw far-reaching conclusions. And they go to Montenegro “for romantic adventures” and for grooms. In principle, their expectations are partly justified. People pay attention to them, they get compliments...
It's hard not to melt when a two-meter dark-haired handsome man looks at you with silent admiration and timid hope!
It's hard not to melt when a two-meter dark-haired handsome man looks at you with silent admiration and timid hope!
But... let's not forget that gender relations in Montenegro have their own characteristics. Compatriots who have lived in Montenegro for more than one tourist season can tell you a lot about it! And these are facts that you will not find in the guidebook.
So, after the period of courtship, which among Montenegrins, by the way, can last quite a long time and is expressed mainly in joint walks along the embankments, friendly conversations and trips to the beach, the actual period of “relationships” begins. This is not marriage yet, but, as they would say in Russia, “close relationships.” Perhaps even with cohabitation, that is, a civil marriage. And here surprises await foreign women. Firstly, Montenegrin men profess patriarchy. Women in the family still do not have the right to vote. They work equally with men, and often more than men. But this does not make them independent. Montenegrins have conservative views on family life; here it is still customary for the wife to sit at home and take care of only the housework, children and some kind of hobby. And many girls completely agree with this order, preferring, for example, a passion for painting, literature or music to all sorts of troubles at work. In addition, families here usually have 4-5 children, so most women often simply do not have free time for other activities. However, if the husband’s income is not enough to provide the family with a certain standard of living, then the wife also goes to work, getting a job as a waitress, nanny, housekeeper or saleswoman.
Therefore, do not be surprised if yesterday’s gentle admirer turns into a domestic tyrant - jealous and stubborn. And there are countless anecdotes and sayings about the reluctance of Montenegrins to bother themselves with anything. “A Montenegrin in a family is like a floor lamp in a house: tall, handsome, glowing, but of no use,” they say about them jokingly. But, as you know, there is some truth in every joke.
Do not be surprised that a Montenegrin will not give you flowers (have you ever wondered why there is not a single flower tent throughout Montenegro?). This is not accepted here. No, greed has nothing to do with it. A man is ready to spend a lot of money on a girl, if he has any, during a date - delicious food, wine, discos, trips, entertainment. But gifts even for holidays - New Year, Valentine's Day, March 8 and birthdays - are unlikely. However, he doesn’t expect gifts from you either – and that’s good.
Another important fact: Montenegrins drink no less, if not more, than Russians, and do not get drunk at all. At least to the extent that we can imagine. Firstly, the mountain origin affects, and secondly, height and powerful physique allow you to hold more alcohol without consequences.
However, despite the apparent carelessness, for the most part Montenegrins are kind fathers, loving husbands and hospitable hosts. The custom of opening the doors of the house wide in anticipation of guests is worth it! Stable in faith, faithful in friendship, unshakable in their decisions. The ability to enjoy life and enjoy every day and every moment is caused by the fact that Montenegro is located, as it were, at the intersection of the roads of East and West. When life is on the edge, in the mountains, among dangers and minute-by-minute changes, how can one not value the eternal: love, faith, friendship, family?
Gala Vasilyeva
In the minds of Russian girls, there are certain stereotypes about Montenegrin men, formed, as a rule, on the basis of snippets of stories heard somewhere or how they behave with ladies who come on vacation.
At the same time, if a relationship with a Montenegrin becomes more and more serious, a woman may be surprised to discover the unexpected qualities and habits of her charming and charismatic boyfriend - the difference in cultures and mentalities affects her.
Here are the opinions of Russian wives of Montenegrins, so to speak, a first-person opinion.
Maria:“We got married after dating and living together for several years. Therefore, at the time of the wedding, I knew most of the relatives by sight, I was familiar with my parents, I could imagine the customs of this family as a whole, and I could even say something in Montenegrin.
What I like most is the peace and tranquility in the family. There are problems, misunderstandings and some sort of showdown, but it never turns into shouting. I think that this attitude towards people and life grew out of the experience I had during the war.
They were refugees from Bosnia, lost everything, started from scratch. It seems to me that this is why they value family and relatives so much. You can feel it. And this is strikingly different from what I saw and very often see in Moscow. I am pleased to live in this family and am glad to be part of it.”
In Montenegro, it is very important for the bride how she is received in the family, because unlike Russia, where young people tend to quickly separate from their parents, here family ties are given increased importance, and she will very often have to communicate with her husband’s relatives.
For Marina, marriage to a Montenegrin brought additional difficulties in this regard, due to the fact that his family professes Islam and therefore was not very happy with the choice of their son. Marina had to prove to her mother-in-law and other relatives for many years that her relationship with her husband was serious.
Marina:“I was partly a victim of my husband’s family’s prejudices. My mother-in-law believed that a Russian girl, who is also not a Muslim, is not the best choice for her beloved son.
I had to spend more than one year and prove myself correctly in different life situations However, the turning point in our relationship came only after our son was born.
In Montenegro, to this day, the birth of a boy is given incredible importance, regardless of religion. It so happened historically that the son is the main pride and happiness of the parents.”
Although Montenegrin men adore children, regardless of gender. And it's mutual. Often on Montenegrin beaches you can see a picture where a mother is calmly reading a magazine, while a father is happily working with the child.
Montenegrins are not shy about showing their emotions towards children, running with them, rolling them on their shoulders, laughing and splashing in the water with them. And this greatly distinguishes them from Russian men. In addition, such an attitude from childhood certainly has a positive impact on the formation of the character of little Montenegrins.
Elena:“Montenegrin men usually grow up in two-parent families, surrounded by parental care and love from childhood, perhaps that is why they do not have a constant desire to assert themselves at someone else’s expense or to prove something to someone. They feel integrity, confidence and reliability.
But at the same time increased maternal care sometimes leads to the fact that men get used to being “served” by a woman - first by a mother, and then by a wife. For example, it may simply not occur to them to get up from the sofa themselves to get an ashtray or a glass of water if they could ask a woman to bring them.”
For the same reason, they often share household responsibilities with their wife, because it is deeply ingrained in their minds that a woman should do the housework.
But, of course, this also depends on the particular man and on how the wife puts herself.
Indeed, in an interethnic marriage, not only the woman must take into account the peculiarities of her husband’s psychology, but also the man needs to understand that not every Russian or, say, Ukrainian woman has a great desire for the patriarchy that is familiar to him. Olga:
“Contrary to popular belief that a Montenegrin husband will lie on the couch, watch TV all day and demand lunch, nothing like that happened. Stereotypes, of course, have a basis, but still it depends more on the person himself, his family, upbringing, the atmosphere in which he grew up, his social circle, and interests. Unusual for me, but expected, was a very strong connection between my husband and his family: communication, support, care. For them family values
first of all. I can’t say that family is not important for Ukrainians, but it’s still not so pronounced.”
By the way, girls who have married an Orthodox Montenegrin should keep in mind that another important symbol of maintaining the traditions of nepotism is the holiday of Slava, which from now on will also become the holiday of the woman who has entered the family.
In addition to the fact that you will now be congratulated on it, be prepared to spend many hours preparing for the grandiose culinary celebration and actively helping your mother-in-law with the housework on this day. At the same time, regarding your husband’s nutrition, keep in mind that his taste preferences
may surprise you greatly. Montenegrins, as a rule, do not like lightly salted fish and caviar, and may not be delighted with borscht or dumplings. But in Montenegro you will discover new dishes. For example, Alina’s husband taught her how to cook deliciously and quickly. Alina:
“My husband is probably not quite a standard Montenegrin; at home we always speak Russian, we feel so comfortable. My husband loves Russian culture and enjoys watching Russian films. I think that a common positive feature of Montenegrins is that they are usually very good and caring dads
A negative feature for me personally is his excessive emotionality, because like any southern people, Montenegrins are hot guys. Although if people want to be together, then this will gradually smooth out.”
One cannot but agree with Alina, because the main force uniting interethnic couples is, of course, love and the desire for mutual understanding. At the same time, the mentality of Montenegrins as a whole is still not very different from Russian or Ukrainian, so mixed couples are becoming more and more common in Montenegro.
