Every new relationship begins with a candy-bouquet period, beautifully and reverently. As a rule, acquaintance is followed by flirting, courtship, and then you become everything closer friend towards your friend and your sympathy grows. One of the most exciting moments in your relationship is gradually approaching - your first intimacy.

Most likely, this is not the first sexual experience and there is something to compare with. But at the moment you are in love with a specific person and want your first night to make him happy. It is this desire to get closer to the ideal that is the most common mistake. After all, we can see ideal sex in cinema, but in reality this is the exception rather than the rule. However, you should not be upset, because your partner is most likely far from ideal; he is no less an ordinary person than you. And it will take some time to move to a new level of relationship - sexual intimacy. Today we will talk about the most basic mistakes in people’s behavior during the first night.

Mistakes and misconceptions on your first night.

First of all, stop being afraid of disappointments. The first night may have nothing to do with your dreams about it. But quite often a dream transforms into an obsession. Girls prepare for it especially carefully: they exhaust themselves on exercise machines, visit massage rooms, and undergo painful depilation. No one argues that this is right and good, but this is not the main thing. What is more important is the ability to relax in bed with your loved one. After all, he already liked you and it is doubtful that he will look at your flaws, if any, under a microscope.

Men also have a lot of doubts and misconceptions about this. For some reason, many of the stronger sex believe that the more varied the positions during sexual intercourse, the more inventive a man is, the more joy his partner will receive from sex. But it should be remembered that what more man cares about the technique of sex, so making love becomes more like acrobatics training. And you don’t need to endure and hush up that the position is uncomfortable for you; it’s better to make it clear right away.

And, of course, the worst thing for manhood on the first night is a complete sexual fiasco. There may be various reasons for this. For example, he can get so worked up in advance that he simply won’t have an erection, or ejaculation will happen very quickly. Both outcomes can be the result of extreme anxiety. It would be good for men to know that for a woman this is not a universal catastrophe, as they think. It’s just that not everyone knows how to correctly explain this to a partner and find how to console him.

You just have to remember that sex is a mutual pleasure and that it has nothing to do with sports or the pursuit of records.

The first wedding night is a rare occurrence.

Nowadays, the concept of “wedding night” has lost its relevance and in its original meaning it is quite rare. Most often, by the onset of this very night, the newlyweds already have some kind of sexual experience that they acquired before the wedding. Moreover, it is no longer fashionable for virgins to marry. However, there are always exceptions to all rules. We will try to consider various situations and hope to help those who are just gaining their first sexual experience. But we will not touch upon one-time relationships, since the “wedding night” has nothing to do with them.

1. First sexual experience for both. (Romeo and Juliet).

Even if it’s hard to imagine now, let’s assume that both partners are virgins. And this is truly great, since all the most vivid impressions and discoveries of the world of sensuality are still ahead of both of them. A man needs to show special sensitivity and guess the mood of the woman he loves. If she has a desire now, then it means she has to. Even if you hear her “no need”, this does not mean that you need to immediately get dressed and leave bed. Her “no” is most likely due to fear, however, you are afraid too. There seems to be only one way out here: you need to stop pretending and allow yourself to completely surrender to your feelings. When the process itself begins, thoughts will disappear, and a wave of passion will completely capture you. You need to relax and have fun. Just don’t rush things, you’ll have time to do everything just fine. Remember that fear and surprise do not suit a man. At such moments, a girl prefers to have a strong and confident man next to her, whom she can trust herself with.

2. Love and arithmetic.

Very often, when acquiring first experience, a woman relies on male prudence, and a man relies on female prudence, and that’s when it comes unwanted pregnancy. As a result, unplanned children are born, whom no one expected, and they, even after being born, have a negative attitude towards the world. Therefore, take this advice: always have a condom with you, and, preferably, read the instructions for it. After the first intimacy, it also happens that a woman remains a virgin, since her hymen is quite elastic or too strong, and an inexperienced man is not able to break it. Don't be upset about this. Five to six days will pass and you will be able to continue making love. Men should restrain their fantasies a little. There is an elementary way for this: during frictions, repeat (of course, not out loud) the multiplication table.

3. First sexual experience: an experienced man and a virgin (Petrarch and Laura).

It happens that a man is somewhat afraid of the opportunity to become a pioneer, because they think that their efforts will be in vain, and the girl is unlikely to experience the joy of orgasm. And girls, in turn, go for it because it is already “indecent” to be a virgin. If a man doesn’t want to be a girl’s first at all, then all this should be discussed before the moment of intimacy, and not start clarifying things once you are in bed with her. Yes, and girls should voice this dignity in advance, but at the same time there is no need to express unnecessary emotions in the form of sorrow or irrepressible joy. Otherwise, the man may simply disappear from her life.

4. Pitfalls of the first sexual experience.

The first sexual experience cannot be considered only as sexual attraction. At this time, female sensuality arises and a man needs to be extremely delicate and careful. The smallest tactlessness can cause a negative reflex to sex or even the development of frigidity. According to statistics, in fifty percent of cases, frigidity arises because the partner is rude on the wedding night, in twenty - because of disrespect for the husband, in thirty - because of fear of pregnancy. It is best for an experienced man to bring a woman to orgasm for the first time without penetration, so that she knows what to expect in the future and strives for it. And then she herself will be glad when you deprive her of her virginity.

5. Simple rules for the first night. (Both partners have sexual experience).

You shouldn’t think that the trepidation of the moment disappears because of previously acquired experience, because this is happening between you for the first time. It is important not to forget about some rules that should be followed in this case. First of all, there must be a mutual desire, the availability of contraceptives and bed. The latter is necessary to ensure that the first night is comfortable, and leave various extreme sex for later. And further. Try not to be selfish, there should be no race, otherwise you will not achieve sexual harmony.

Men, prepare for the first night carefully.

1. Stock up on semi-sweet red wine or decent champagne. Don't forget about a light, tasty dinner. Just don’t ask your mom for help, otherwise you’ll end up with cutlets and pea soup. You can offer such a menu to your woman not soon. Let it be fruits and sweets. It would not be amiss to put mint tablets or bunches of greens (parsley, dill) on the bedside table. This is necessary to bad smell from the mouth (if any) did not serve as a reason for your sexual incompatibility.

2. Lay down fresh bed linen. The best sheet is the one with an elastic band otherwise, it will always get confused and interfere with you. The bed linen fabric should be soft and durable; blue and red shades, which excite eroticism, are very suitable. If you are a fan of white linen, then it should be snow-white, not a cream shade, and certainly not with a complex pattern, otherwise your bedroom will be associated with a hospital ward. By the way, one more clarification: on the first night you can completely do without pillows and a warm blanket. It is better to use terry sheets and a soft blanket.

3. The presence of fresh flowers near the bed of love is welcome. But they should not have a pronounced aroma to avoid migraine attacks. A bouquet of snowdrops or violets would be appropriate and touching. It should be remembered that aromas especially affect mood. Eliminate perfume; it is better to light a scented candle or an incense burner. Patchoulia and juniper can arouse sensuality. Just don't use lemon oil, otherwise you'll quickly fall asleep.

4. You can take care of some soft objects in advance. Fur is very stimulating erogenous zones. A woman will be pleased if you brush your fur along her back, buttocks, and legs. For these purposes, you can use wide brushes that artists use. You can also purchase aromatic oils for massage.

5. Put new soft washcloths, shower gels, shampoos, and bubble bath in the bathroom (if you want to soak in it together). As well as two fluffy towels and two soft terry robe. Remember that the robe that is intended for your woman must be new and fit her in size, so that she does not have thoughts about her predecessor.

Your efforts will definitely be appreciated and your night will remain in memory for many years.

Each people on our larger planet has its own unique wedding ceremonies. Somewhere, the bride is led to the altar by the hand by her father, and somewhere, the groom’s friends secretly steal her from the bedroom of her father’s house. In some places the newlyweds are pelted with rice, and in others they are showered with banknotes. African wedding ceremonies, are certainly the most exotic for the civilized world.

Among the Berber tribe, the bride and groom rarely manage to stay alone the night after the wedding. They spend their wedding night collectively, for which several couples settle down together in one large bedroom. This is considered a session of learning love games, and in addition, relieves stress before important event. The bride and groom do not always know each other well, but it is still more fun to engage in indecency in the company of peers.

Assistant under the bed

In Swahili culture, marriages are arranged between parents, and often the bride and groom do not know each other before the wedding. To help them cope with the difficulties of the wedding night, to this day, an older relative of the bride - an assistant, or somo - settles under the bed. If necessary, she gives advice to the newlyweds during the process, and in the morning she testifies that everything went as expected and presents her fellow villagers with a sheet with traces of blood.

Virgin swing

Among the Zulu people, at a wedding, before the newlyweds retire for their wedding night, the families of the bride and groom organize a dance competition. The culmination is the bride's dance, during which she must raise her leg as high as possible and remain in this position for as long as possible in front of her mother, who, meanwhile, must look under her skirt and make sure that she is still a virgin.

Fat night

In the Himba tribe living in Namibia, before going to the groom's house for the wedding night, the bride comes to her father's house, who tells her about her upcoming marital duties, after which her relatives grease the girl's head with cow fat. Fortunately, usually a special headdress made of cow skin is first put on the bride’s head.

Unexpectedly

IN African tribe Shona, the wedding night comes before the wedding, and it becomes a surprise for the groom. After the engagement is concluded, the bride herself chooses the night on which she, in a white wedding robe and accompanied by relatives, comes to the groom’s house with songs and dances. No one knows this date anymore, and this is not an accident: they believe that in this way the girl tests her beloved and his family’s ability to cope with unexpected problems. The groom's relatives must notice the procession in time and, in turn, greet it with a joyful dance. After mutual expression of joy, the bride remains in her mother-in-law's house, where she will finally be left alone with the groom. Well, the wedding ceremonies will begin in the morning.

The third one is not superfluous

The Banyankole tribe in northwestern Uganda has even stranger traditions. Before the bride gets married, her aunt must sleep with her groom. Experienced woman thus checking that the man’s potency is okay, and at the same time assessing his talents in bed. Then, on the wedding night, the aunt is also present in the newlyweds’ room - but this time in the role of a coach: she tells inexperienced young people what and how to do.

The candle was burning on the table, the candle was burning

In the villages of Tunisia, the groom, having fulfilled his marital duty, must immediately light a candle and place it on the window. So he informs the whole village, carefully watching through the windows, that everything went as it should, and the bride was a virgin.

Among friends

In Morocco, virginity is treated strictly. During the bachelorette party before the wedding, the bridesmaids are required to check to see if she is a virgin and report their findings to all interested parties. And in the most traditional families girlfriends also come for their wedding night.

Let there be blood!

In Ethiopia, the main concern on the wedding night is the bride's virginity. She must take her white head cover with her to the bedroom - it is on it that she should leave traces of blood. While the newlyweds indulge in pleasures, the newly-made mother-in-law and the groom's witness are waiting outside the door. Immediately after the end of the process, the girl must take out the scarf stained with blood. If for some reason there is no blood, the young husband has the right to flog his wife with a whip and even abandon her, sending her back to her parents and demanding full compensation for the ransom.

In bed with a stranger

In Tanzania, things are even worse: a girl sees her betrothed for the first time only in the bedroom, during her wedding night. Marriages there are carried out exclusively by agreement with the parents, and the bride and groom do not meet before the wedding. The whole celebration also takes place without her: while the groom and relatives are having fun, the girl, dressed up and made up, sits at home and waits young husband. When he arrives, the girl is escorted to the bedroom - and it is here that she first meets the one with whom she will share a bed today - and always.

Listen up everyone!

For Libyan Muslims, a wedding is a long affair, usually lasting at least five days. The bride and groom spend the first three days each in their own home. On the fourth day, the bride throws a friendly party at her home, where the groom comes to pick her up in the evening, taking his friends with him. Then the couple, accompanied by the whole crowd of friends, goes on foot to the house of the young spouse. At this time, it is customary among the friends of the newlyweds to make as much noise as possible and joke publicly about what is about to happen behind a closed door.

Virginity sacrificed

In a traditional Egyptian wedding, it is not the groom who deflowers the bride. This is done by a specially called midwife, wrapping her fingers in a white scarf. The blood on the handkerchief, which is immediately shown to the groom's relatives, is undeniable evidence of innocence, which the groom himself, alas, is never destined to fully enjoy.

extramarital night

In Namibia they are preparing for a wedding whole year, it is accompanied by mass celebrations, a feast for the whole world, music, dancing and other fun. However, after the celebration, the bride and groom each go to their own home and spend the night separately from each other. They have to wait another whole day - only on the second night after the wedding are they allowed to lie in the same bed. But, by the way, a woman is not considered an official wife until she gives birth to a second child.

Under the car

In the Sudanese Nuer tribe, after the wedding feast, friends take the bride to the groom’s village, where they first shave her head bald, and only then take her to her husband. The meaning of this custom is unclear, but the fact remains: a girl with hair does not have the right to go to bed with her lawful young husband.

Practice is the path to mastery

In Zambia, traditions are extremely liberal: there the bride and groom have their wedding night on the eve of the wedding. On the pre-wedding day, the bride's older relatives give her a master class on sex, telling her everything they know, right down to how to properly wash each other in the bath. After this, the bride is taken to the groom’s house and the newlyweds are told to practice sex until they lose all strength. And the next day, all the girls in the village ask the bride how everything went, expecting detailed answers.

The first wedding night in Rus' was arranged in a special way and had many differences from similar traditions of other nations. Among the peoples of Africa, Europe and India, the right of the first night implied intimate contact between the bride and a stranger. Often it was the elder of the tribe, a noble gentleman, or even just the first person they met.

In Rus', the right to deflower a girl traditionally belonged to her future husband. According to church canons, a married marriage is sacred and any attempt on someone else’s marriage bed is a great sin. Later, feudal lords often neglected this law and used the right of the first wedding night, but the church did not welcome this.

Time spending

The wedding ceremony in Rus' was a very complex sacrament that combined Christian and pagan traditions. The timing of the wedding was always chosen very carefully. In many peoples of the world, the first intercourse of newlyweds could occur on the third or fourth day, or even later (some Muslim countries, India, etc.).

For Russians, the first wedding night took place during the wedding celebration, so it was very important to schedule the wedding on the date permitted by the church. According to Orthodox laws, it is forbidden to have sexual relations during Lent and during church holidays, therefore, weddings were not scheduled for this time. The date of the celebration was carefully selected in accordance with the church calendar.

Ritual of preparation for the wedding night

For a long time, the Russian people called their wedding night a basement. This is due to the fact that the newlyweds’ bed was always arranged in a cool place: in the basement of a hut, closet, barn or bathhouse. This always happened on the territory of the groom, since the girl after the wedding went to live with him.

A high bed on a strong wooden base was prepared for the newlyweds. It was covered with bedding that was taken from the girl's dowry. The preparation of the bed for the bride and groom was carried out by female matchmakers. The groom's mother or sister could also prepare the bed.

Many ritual objects were placed on the bed, which were supposed to protect the newlyweds from damage and provide them with a comfortable existence in the future. Such amulets included small sheaves of rye, bags of flour, mattresses, and feather beds. The bed was covered on top with a snow-white embroidered blanket.

Several logs, a frying pan, a poker, and a juniper branch were placed under the bed. These items were supposed to protect the couple from all evil spirits. The logs symbolized future offspring, so more of them had to be placed.

Seeing off the newlyweds

The newlyweds were escorted to the “bedchamber” prepared in this way by a whole crowd of guests: boyfriends, matchmakers, relatives and in general anyone who wanted to take part in the noisy and fun action. The farewell was accompanied by songs, obscene jokes and advice. The friend hit the box with a whip, driving out evil spirits. He then had to pay a ransom to the bedwomen.

Alone

After all these rituals, the newlyweds were finally left alone. The door was locked, and a cage guard was left near it. He also had to protect the newlyweds from evil spells and various evil spirits. But guests often stayed at the door and simply spied on the young people.

Left alone, the bride and groom first treated themselves to bread and chicken. This food was supposed to give the couple fertility. After eating, the girl was obliged to take off the guy’s boots. Thus, she demonstrated humility before her future husband and showed her readiness to obey him in everything. Also, the girl had to ask her husband for permission to lie with him.

Then sexual intercourse must take place. A friend came to inquire about this several times. As soon as the girl lost her virginity, the marriage was considered physically confirmed, which was loudly announced to all guests. The newlyweds could be taken out to the feast again and delighted with songs of the most obscene content, or the guests themselves came to the basement of the newlyweds and stayed there with them until dawn.

Innocence as the main attribute

The most important moment in this whole ritual was the demonstration of the bride's shirt with blood stains. If the bride retained her virginity before the wedding, she was considered honest. Otherwise, she brought shame not only on herself, but also on her parents. A collar was hung around the neck of the matchmaker and the parents of the dishonest newlywed. They brought my father a glass of wine with a holey bottom. The girl could even be returned to her father's house.

The loss of virginity on the first wedding night was symbolically celebrated by hanging towels embroidered with red threads and beating pots. After this, the girl became “young”, and the guy became “young”. After the wedding night, the young woman was dressed in clothes married woman and put on her appropriate headdress. The whole ritual had to be strictly observed, otherwise new family infertility and poverty threatened.

First wedding night - what to do? To begin with, I would like to note that in the classical sense this concept is rare today. Newlyweds most often already have sexual experience, which they acquired before the wedding. But there are also exceptions. It is worth considering them and answering the question: “First wedding night - what to do?”

In a relationship between two lovers, several types of behavior can be distinguished. For example, "Romeo + Juliet". This means that both the guy and the girl are virgins. Something - and this is truly rare. And the fact that this couple has new experiences ahead and the discovery of a world unknown to them is great. So, in this case, to the question “first wedding night - what to do?” It is worth giving the following answer: “Relax - and surrender to feelings and emotions.” The process will only begin when thoughts fade into the background, and waves of languor and bliss take over the bodies of the newlyweds. You just need to relax and enjoy yourself, and not force things because somewhere in the subconscious there is a fear of not being able to do something. A man should remember: there is no need to be surprised or afraid. After all, at this moment the girl wants to see a confident and strong man, and not a timid and fearful boy. She wants to know that she trusts herself to the right person. And the girl herself should listen to the call of her body and heart.

Discussing the topic "First wedding night - what to do?" One more fact is worth noting. After the first sex, a woman may not lose her virginity because it is very strong or elastic. It cannot be broken by an inexperienced man in one go. In this case, there is no need to be afraid. It’s worth finishing what you started after five days.

Another option for a relationship in a couple is “Petrarch and Laura”. This situation occurs more often. The girl had no experience before marriage, and the man was experienced. Many guys are afraid to deflower their chosen one. For different reasons. Some people find it unpleasant, others are afraid that she will be hurt.

There are pitfalls in this business, as in any other. For a girl newlywed night is not an ordinary sexual impression. Experts have proven that first sex has a huge impact on the emergence of sensuality. The slightest tactlessness - and the girl will have a negative attitude towards sex life. Frigidity may even develop. An experienced man will definitely first prepare his partner for intimacy. Simply put, foreplay helps. Only then will it be possible to begin the main process.

This also happens: the girl is already a goddess in sex, and the guy is a virgin. Well... then all the initiative is in the hands of the young lady. She has to make sure that her husband does not get nervous and feels confident. After all, this may hurt his feelings - that his chosen one has experience, but he is still “staying too long,” so to speak.

Finally, the first wedding night is also important for those who already have experience in sex: the solemnity does not disappear! A girl always expects something special from her first “official” relationship. Don't forget about this. To make the first night even more enjoyable for the newlyweds, you can drink beforehand delicious wine, have something to eat. And, of course, the atmosphere. A dimly lit room, clean, beautiful linen, flowers, and music will fill your wedding night with romance that you will remember all your life.