Modern newlyweds for the most part do not pay a lot of attention spending the first night as spouses, because intimacy, as a rule, occurs long before the wedding, and some couples even live together for more than one year before the wedding. However, in a number modern countries They are very scrupulous about this moment, observing the decades-old traditions of the first wedding night.
The portal for newlyweds Svadebka.ws will try to tell you about the most interesting and unusual traditions first wedding night, which currently exist in different countries. You will find out what people of different religions and worldviews do on their wedding night, and, who knows, maybe you will take something to note.
First wedding night in Rus'
The existing rituals of first intercourse in Rus' differed significantly from the traditions of Europe, Africa or India of those times. And the main difference is that in Rus' the bride’s first man had to be her husband. For comparison, in the same Europe, the right of the first night was awarded to a stranger. It could have been a big man or a completely random passer-by.
First wedding night in ancient Rus' took place directly during the wedding. And since our rare people were very pious, the date of the holiday was chosen most carefully. After all, in posts and church holidays It was forbidden to have an intimate relationship, so weddings were never scheduled for these days.
Preparing for the first night of the newlyweds:
If the first wedding night in Rus' was successful, then after it the festivities continued!
The guests sang songs and ditties, and the bride was dressed in the clothes of a married woman.
First wedding night in Islam
Despite the passage of decades, Muslims strictly follow the established rules regarding the first night of marriage. Many of them take their roots from ancient times.
And here are some of the customs:
- Until now, in many countries it is customary to show the groom’s relatives a sheet with the bride’s blood after the spouses have sex for the first time;
- The first intercourse can occur only after the girl has transported all her dowry to the house of her new husband;
- A man must be gentle with his wife; indecent proposals are not acceptable. The girl, in turn, is forbidden to push her husband away, otherwise this could lead to disastrous consequences;
- If there is a Quran in the room where the first wedding night will take place, then it must be taken out of the room or at least wrapped in cloth.
The wedding night has a special place in Islam. And a number of countries have their own special rituals regarding first sex. For example, the first wedding night in India occurs only three days after the wedding. It is also customary to place a traditional udumbara stick, which symbolizes the fertility of the bride.
Customs of the first night in different countries
It would seem that nothing unusual could happen on the first night of marriage. However, traditions and customs are sometimes not only surprising, but also shocking. And we want to talk about some of them.
The first wedding night among Armenians takes place exclusively in the man’s house. At the same time, the groom's relatives leave their home for a while. After intercourse, the husband quietly leaves in the morning, and if during the night together the girl’s innocence was confirmed, in the evening he visits the house of the chosen one’s parents with gifts (red apples, wine, cognac, chicken). And the bride herself receives silver coins with apples as a gift.
During the Kyrgyz first wedding night, you can often notice “witnesses” who listened under the doors of the newlyweds’ bedroom, and then reported to the guests about the process.
During the first wedding night of the ancient Jews, the newlywed wife did not remove the veil from her face. And the groom himself was freed from evening prayer, so as not to cool the ardor of love.
Jews have a special attitude towards the honeymoon. Thus, young people, neither in past times nor in the present period, are sent to Honeymoon, and spend this period at home. Throughout the week, friends of the newlyweds and relatives invite the couple to dinners, showering the newlyweds with care.
There are controversial opinions about how the first wedding night of gypsies goes. For example, according to one version, a girl is deprived of her virginity by her newly-made husband, who takes out a sheet with evidence of the bride’s purity to her relatives. According to another version, the bride was deflowered by the groom's relatives by first wrapping a sheet or towel around her finger. Moreover, the groom is allowed to watch, but is prohibited from participating in the process.
The first wedding night in different countries is a unique history of each nation, where established traditions and rituals are observed. And the site team will be happy to find out what customs of the first night your people or specifically your family adheres to.
- The newlyweds go to a separate room, and the women remain outside its door. When the proof of innocence (a sheet with a blood stain) is in their hands, women can bring it out for everyone to see;
- Women themselves deprive the bride of her virginity by wrapping a sheet around her finger. The groom is only allowed to observe, but not to touch under any circumstances;
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In some cultures, in customs associated with the first wedding night, not only the bride and groom took part. Below are the most awkward, strange and hilarious traditions regarding the first wedding night.
French soup served in a toilet bowl
This tradition arose at a time when people relieved their natural needs in chamber pots. Relatives of the bride and groom filled the chamber pot with leftover alcohol and food from festive table, after which they gave it to the newlyweds as “fuel” for their wedding night. They did not leave the bedroom until the bride and groom had completely drunk the contents of the pot.
This tradition continues to this day, albeit in a slightly improved form. Today, instead of a pot, relatives of the newlyweds use a toilet-shaped bowl, which is filled with chocolate fondue and champagne.
In the 18th century, royal families practiced a ritual according to which a group of sullen priests, court ladies and gentlemen would gather at the bedside of the newlyweds on their wedding night.
Scotch cheese joke
According to the book Wedding Customs of the World: From Henna to the Honeymoon, in Scotland there was once a custom of taking a piece of cheese to bed for good luck. The newlyweds had to put about 500 grams of Limburg cheese between a couple of towels and crush it. 
Indian bedspreads
In India, on her wedding night, the bride hides under a blanket on a bed surrounded by her family members. The groom enters the room with his relatives and tries to determine which side the bride's head is facing. At this time, members of her family strive to confuse him with false clues and mocking jokes. If the groom accurately guesses which side his bride’s head is on, they will live on equal terms in marriage, if not, then he is doomed to serve (fall at her feet) her for the rest of his life.
Chinese tradition "Nao Dongfang"
The Chinese tradition of Nao Dongfang, which originated during the Han Dynasty, is still practiced today. She promotes intimacy between the bride and groom through a series of dirty jokes and games played by the newlyweds' relatives. During one of these games, a friend or family member holds an apple tied to a string. The newlyweds must try to bite him, which ultimately leads to a kiss. Very often, a friend or family member puts the apple away at the very last moment. 
Comic serenades under the newlyweds' windows
Previously, in France, townspeople, in order to shame marriages between adulterers and other disapproved unions, made a fuss under the windows of the newlyweds on their wedding night. This tradition was subsequently adopted by residents of the United States and Canada during French colonization.
Today, relatives of newlyweds gather outside their home and create noise by banging pots and pans and singing songs loudly, mostly as a joke.
Korean tradition using fish
In Wedding Bells and Chimney Sweeps, Bruce Montague describes a Korean tradition in which the groom's friends remove his socks, tie his feet, and hit his feet with a fish, usually dried corvina, which can sometimes be up to 90 centimeters long. 
During this action, the groom is interrogated. If his answers are unsatisfactory, the beating with the fish becomes more severe. According to some sources, it acts like Viagra on the groom. They do this so that he doesn’t mess up in bed on his wedding night.
Closer to night, the young wife went to her husband’s house. Custom demanded that she break free and seek protection from relatives. This is probably a memory of the era of abductions of sobbing girls from their parents' homes.
The young wife was seated on a chariot, and a crowd of noisy friends of her husband accompanied her, singing obscene songs and dancing right in the street. During the dances, movements were made that imitated sexual intercourse, and the newlywed shyly covered her face with her red veil.
Life in Ancient Rome
Having reached her new home, the wife received goat fat and red woolen threads from the hands of the matron who performed the ceremony. She personally coated the doorposts with grease and fastened the threads, which symbolized her power over the house and willingness to work for its prosperity . After this, the husband took his wife in his arms and carried her over the threshold, because of the birth of the child.
When the young wife finished her prayers, her husband came up to her and untied the belt on her tunic. His friends encouraged him in every possible way and gave him advice on how best to fulfill his marital duty. Some researchers believe that among the tribes that gave rise to the first citizens of Rome, there were those who wedding ceremony provided for group copulation with the bride, and these farewells to the marriage bed are a transformed memory of this custom.
Early in the morning the wife made the first sacrifice to the gods of her new home : Each house had its own household god Lar. Thus, according to the law of Romulus, which stated: “A wife united to her husband must share with him all property and all rituals,” the marriage was considered valid.
Position of the wife in the ancient Roman family
The Romans, unlike the Greeks, did not have the custom of dividing the house into male and female halves, and women did not live in seclusion. The wife of a wealthy Roman managed the house and, as a mistress, sat at the same table with her husband and his guests.
However, she was ordered to behave modestly, not to engage in conversations with men and not to drink wine under any circumstances. The consumption of wine by women was considered unacceptable and served as a reason for divorce, and according to ancient customs it was even punishable by death.
She could leave the house, but only with the permission of her husband, wearing a special dress that announced that she was married. Often she was accompanied by an elderly relative or the widow of one of her husband's brothers. It was considered unacceptable to talk to a married woman; they simply silently made way for her. However, she could attend public meetings, appear in the theater or at religious ceremonies.
The wife's position in the family was subordinate, but she had her own sphere of influence - household chores were completely under her control. She did not feel love or passion for her husband, and this only made her life easier, because his numerous infidelities did not touch her. She wanted one thing - to have children as soon as possible. The highest status for a woman was that of a mother, and the first Roman matrons personally fed and raised their children.
It is known that divorce existed in Rome, but it did not appear immediately . Dionysius writes: “Informed people unanimously believe that in Rome for five hundred and twenty years not a single marriage was dissolved.” The first to divorce was a certain Spurius Carvilius. The reason for the divorce was his wife's inability to bear children. So, we see that divorce was the prerogative of the stronger sex. Plutarch wrote that Romulus' law stated that a husband could leave his wife if she was barren or convicted of adultery, but a wife could not leave her husband under any circumstances.
If a divorce occurred due to female infertility, the wife was not considered guilty, because the ability to conceive is under the control of the gods. She returned to her parents' house along with her dowry, and her status was equal to that of a widow.
When the wife commits some serious offense her husband could not decide her fate alone , if he was not the eldest in the family. He should have submitted the case for consideration family council consisting of men. Sometimes one of the respected friends of the husband or the patriarch of the family could be involved in the case. If the wife was convicted of infidelity, then the council could recommend that the husband divorce her; in such cases, by law, the dowry remains with the husband.
By decision of the family council, the wife could not only be expelled with shame and dishonor, but also put to death. Also, if the divorce turned out to be unprofitable for one reason or another, the punishment was limited to flogging the wife or a rather curious punishment from a moral point of view: everyone present at the council committed sexual violence against the unfaithful wife. I don’t know why they thought that such a punishment would discourage her from committing adultery. In principle, there were no formal punishments for infidelity; it was a personal matter for the spouses.
If there was strictness and some severity in relation to the wife’s behavior , then my husband had completely free hands in this regard. He could be as debauched as he liked both on the side and in the house; his wife could not make any claims against him. If he took a mistress among the slaves, the only thing that the wife could afford was to force her to do the most menial work in the absence of her husband.
Despite their absolute power, men rarely got involved in household affairs and did not allow themselves to give their concubines a privileged status. Often the fate of such a girl became the subject of bargaining between spouses. The husband made some concessions in relation to his wife, and the wife gave her mistress the status of a companion, and she received a separate room and beautiful clothes. Doesn't this remind you of the story of Roosevelt and his wife Eleanor, who took her husband's mistress as her secretary, demanding in return the right to rest alone on her estate?
What are the main reasons for divorce?
Such confusion in the world of the gods contributed to the fact that people easily abandoned the age-old traditions of their way of life. In the era of the late Republic, the divorce procedure became so simplified that most noble Romans were married at least twice.
The reason for the divorce could be anything: for example, a certain citizen divorced his wife because she preferred to watch games in the company of unmarried friends, rather than sitting next to him, as befits a matron. But now women also paid men in the same coin: having found a more profitable match, they accused their husband of evading marital duty and neglecting religious rituals and received the desired divorce. There were obvious signs emancipation, although formally women remained completely powerless. The fact is that the men themselves have changed.
After the conquest of vast territories and the imposition of grain tribute on their inhabitants, there were practically no peasants left among the free Romans. After all, grain was now cheap and there was plenty of it. Rich landowners purchased slaves to work on their estates and vineyards. It was more profitable than paying for the work of free people. Thus, the majority of Roman citizens in peacetime did not bother themselves with work and actively adopted Central Asian customs.
Luxurious feasts with the participation of musicians and dancers, ending in sexual orgies, became fashionable. Having become a slacker, the Roman no longer valued his family so much, and women began to slowly take over the reins of power. Moreover, they came to the conclusion that the new customs of sexual freedom to some extent belonged to them too, but first of all, women achieved economic freedom.
Marriage in which the wife fell under the arm of her husband became less and less popular; women remembered more ancient traditions that came to the Romans from the Etruscans. Now a woman in an open marriage retained all her property , with the exception of the dowry, which went to the husband. She could inherit her parents' property or her husband's property.
Traditional family way of life
Very quickly the rich and influential appeared in Rome free women who did not bother themselves with observing old customs and lived for their own pleasure. Decent matrons branded and blackened them, but they themselves only dreamed of being in their place.
The traditional structure of the Roman patriarchal family was collapsing, and no legislative acts such as a tax for celibacy and severe punishment for adultery they could not reverse this process. The Romans listened to the fiery speeches of Augustus, who reminded that the family is the basis of the state and Rome would never have achieved greatness if its citizens had not been united strong marriages and did not give birth to many children.
It’s not that all the Romans suddenly stopped wanting to get married. Many wished and complained about marriage legislation, which did not allow legalizing a union with a foreigner. These were mostly military men returning from Asian campaigns. Living in the occupied territories, they acquired concubines and many brought them with them to Rome. Such men were not considered officially married, and their cohabitants were considered prostitutes.
Those who returned alone were fascinated by the submissiveness of Asian women and their willingness to provide any sexual favors, and therefore marriage with an arrogant Roman woman, boasting of her origin and virtue, did not seem attractive to them. Such men willingly laughed at the satyrs of Juvenal, who branded dissolute women and called on citizens to take up arms against them.
But then they went to the cheerful girl, taking with them a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread, reasoning something like this: “Why do I need a wife who will constantly whine and complain that there is not enough money for this and that. It’s better to spend an hour with a corrupt girl when you feel like it.” No one dreamed of children, the main value in the era of the old Empire.
The peasants who abandoned their fields lived in the poor quarters of Rome in enormous overcrowding; three adult men could live in a small dark room. There's no time for children here! Along with the decline in status family values in Rome Corrupt love began to flourish unprecedentedly for the needs of both sexes. In principle, Roman morals were never distinguished by restraint; this was prescribed only to women.
“Secrets of the first wedding night: traditions of the peoples of the world”
At all times, all peoples have attached great importance to the first wedding night. Let's take a look at the pages of history, in the tradition of the first wedding night. Africa
African countries have always been distinguished by their exoticism in everything, including the wedding night. In some African tribes on the first night after, the young husband knocks out his beloved’s two upper teeth. Therefore, such a unique indicator of marriage in married women These tribes have a lack of front teeth. 
In Central Africa Newlyweds from the Bahutu tribe were required by custom to abstain on the first night after the wedding. Instead of love, they get into such fights all night that sometimes even the walls of their home collapse. During the day, each spouse sleeps in their parents' house, and at night everything is repeated all over again. As strength and aggression disappear, the wife completely moves into her husband’s house, and then the young people live in peace and harmony. 
In some tribes of Africa Girls were deflowered even before their first menstruation, and this had to be done by a stranger, usually an ordinary wanderer. If at the beginning of her first period a girl remained innocent, this was regarded as a shame, and she could remain an old maid.
Samoa
In the independent state of Samoa, newlyweds spend their wedding night in the bride's house, and all the bride's relatives sleep next to them. The custom does not require the groom to completely abandon lovemaking, but everything should happen silently. If the silence is broken, the relatives may beat the young spouse. In this case, he lubricates his body with oil in advance, which will help him escape more easily.Philippines
In the Philippine Islands, the bride and groom usually have fun with their guests on their wedding night, because the locals wedding customs order to abstain from the first marriage intimacy.
India
In India, the custom of prohibiting intimate relationships between newlyweds the first three nights after the wedding. It is believed that the guardian gods of the young wife may be angry with her. A special stick made of udumbara wood, which is considered a symbol of female fertility, is placed between the bride and groom.Macedonia
In Macedonia, the bride and groom fight for the main wedding trophies - a hat and boots. The winner who takes possession of them becomes the head of the family.Germany
In some places in Germany, a medieval custom has survived to this day, which instructs the groom to go out to the guests on the first wedding night and publicly display a sheet with marks confirming the innocence of the bride.First sex in ancient times
The traditions of many peoples, preserved to this day, prescribe future woman. losing your virginity publicly, even without the help of your future husband.So, in India there was a ritual of defloration of girls, in which the girl had to kneel down and accept the stone genital organ of the statue of God Shiva.
In old times in Russia After the wedding night, the bloody sheet was shown to relatives.
In the Marquesas Islands All invited male guests participate in the first wedding night.
In Peru A girl is deflowered by her own mother in a public place.
In Afghanistan There is even a special person (canaberiz) - a man whose professional duties include deflowering girls before marriage.
In the ancient Scandinavian tribes The sorcerer stole the bride before her wedding night and took her into the forest. There he made a sacrifice to the goddess Fria in order to then perform ritual intercourse with the girl.
In Ancient Egypt unmarried girl on a certain day she came to the temple of the Great Goddess, where she had to give herself to the first man she met.
In the Papuan Arunto tribe Shortly before the wedding, the groom asked two or three of his friends to kidnap the bride and deprive her of her virginity.
Ancients inhabitants of the Balearic Islands They considered their wedding night a privilege. Therefore, the eldest and most honorable of the guests at the wedding was the first to copulate with the bride, then everyone followed according to age and rank. The groom was last.
Wedding night customs in the Middle Ages
In the Middle Ages, the sacred duty of deflowering serf girls rested with the feudal lord. Counts and dukes could marry up to a hundred girls a year. True, in Switzerland this custom became obsolete at the end of the 16th century, and some German states began to replace it with tribute or ransom. Such traditions took place in our country until the abolition of serfdom in 1861.Thus, there are many traditions of the first wedding night in the world, they are different in every country and culture. Some exotic rites and rituals still exist today, others have come down to us only in the form of beliefs, but, of course, newlyweds of all nations prepare for this night with special trepidation.
Report a bugFor all newlyweds, the first wedding night carries a certain sacrament. This is an event that brings together two people who have just gotten married. IN modern world people are not shy to talk about sexual relations, so a lot interesting information can be found on the Internet.
Every religion has certain rules and norms regarding sexual relations before marriage and on the wedding night. The traditions of this event are varied. In this article I would like to talk about how the first wedding night takes place among the peoples of Islam and Gypsies.
Why is the theme of the first wedding night so relevant?
In Islam, knowledge of the truth is welcomed, and people turn and turned to the Prophet Muhammad precisely for this purpose. These were not only general questions, but also questions about personal life. Many women contacted us regarding marriage issues.
Nowadays, due to the availability of obscene information, not all Muslims adhere to the boundaries of Sharia. Many may sin and indulge in sexual pleasures before their wedding night.
In Islam, such an act is highly punishable, since it is said that a person who sins in this regard, in addition to bringing disaster upon himself, his partner and his entire family, jeopardizes the purity of procreation. Future offspring may not be born completely healthy, or the children will be unhappy because they are born from a sinful person.
In order for the marriage bonds to be strong, for healthy offspring to be born, and for the newly-made family to be happy, Islam has a ban on sexual relations before marriage. Young people in particular should be privy to this, because with the availability of pornographic photographs and videos, it is very difficult to reach the consciousness of the younger generation.
Caucasians' first wedding night
The inhabitants of the Caucasus have very beautiful traditions that have been preserved in our time. The same applies to the wedding ceremony, as well as the wedding night of the newlyweds. For comparison, we can consider several Muslim nations.
Chechens' first wedding night
It took place on the third day of the wedding - only then were the newlyweds left alone. In order to perform the marital ceremony, the groom put on a suit, which was obviously given by the bride's relatives, and went to the designated place. The woman should already be in the room (married friends will take her there).
Before intimacy, the groom must open the Koran and pray. The book is then covered with linen and the act of bonding and deflowering begins. It is optional for those who knew each other before marriage.
How to spend a wedding night in Dagestan
From an early age in Dagestan, girls are prepared for their wedding night, or rather for battles, which are still carried out in some villages. The wedding night proves that the man who conquered the woman is worthy of her. It could lead to abrasions, scratches and other things. Relatives could only eavesdrop or spy on this action.
The girl was shaved bald, and after that fat was applied to her entire body. The clothes had many knots that the groom had to untie during the battle. As long as the bride could defend herself, she was respected. The use of any bladed weapon proved a man's weakness and was not encouraged.
It happened that a man did not win - then the action was postponed for another day.
The sacrament of the first wedding night among Armenians
The first wedding night among Muslims and Gypsies usually takes place without displaying a sheet with a stain of the bride's blood as proof of her chastity. This is not approved in Islam, even prohibited by Sharia. Among Armenians, in some families this tradition, oddly enough, has been preserved.
Moreover, the Armenians showed the sheet not only to the groom’s relatives, but also to everyone who wanted to look - it was hung on the street in the courtyard of the house. Even neighbors could verify that the bride was a virgin before the wedding.
It was not forbidden to stand under the door of the newlyweds during intimacy. This could be entrusted to the cook or a friend of the bride, who then notified everyone about the outcome of the process.
All the action necessarily took place in the groom's house. To do this, his relatives had to leave their home for a while. In the morning the man needed to hide quietly. In the evening, if the night went well and the chastity of the newly-made wife was confirmed, the groom visited the bride’s parents. He gave the girl herself silver coins with an apple, and gave her parents wine, chicken, red apples and cognac.
After this, the holiday continued among the Armenians, only the reason for it was the “purity” of the bride, and not the wedding celebration itself.
Azerbaijanis' first wedding night
Since this people is of the Muslim faith, and in Islam it is very important that a woman be a virgin before marriage, the groom’s relatives strictly ensured that this condition was met. In turn, the engya (woman) had to enlighten her in all matters on this topic. Sex education was given great importance.
In Islam, it is not advisable to prove a girl’s innocence by putting the sheet on display, but Azerbaijanis, like Armenians, still adhere to this tradition.
The groom had every right to return the bride to her parents and divorce the very next day if he did not find a bloody stain on the sheets. There were also extreme measures when they punished not only the bride, but also the enge (the wife of the older brother), because she did not follow and raised her incorrectly, thereby not fulfilling her purpose.
How is the first night of the newlyweds spent among the gypsies?
The most basic ceremony among gypsies at a wedding is the “carrying out of honor.” The first wedding night receives such significance because the outcome of events will be extremely important for the entire bride’s family, because if the girl was not innocent, then her family will be forever disgraced. She herself will have difficulty, and perhaps not at all, be able to find a husband.
The groom goes with his bride and three women to the chambers, where the girl’s virginity will be tested. There are several versions of how the gypsies perform the ritual of deflowering during their wedding night:
Among the gypsies, the ritual of the first wedding night ends in a rather unusual way. The sheet is placed on a tray, covered with red ribbons, which all the groom’s relatives can then take for themselves.
At the end of the ceremony, the groom’s side of the family thanks the bride’s father and mother for raising a decent daughter. Then the parents on both sides are blessed with the icon. Gypsies must have large families, therefore, it cannot do without the wishes of many heirs, most importantly, healthy and strong.
People of all these nationalities honor the traditions of their ancestors to this day, because they believe that this is the only way to live a long and happy life married. Muslims and Gypsies are not allowed to divorce. Even if your husband cheated, you can survive, but if a woman cheated, then she disgraced her entire family, which after this may not accept her. Who knows, maybe marriage lasts for life, because they honor the traditions of the first wedding night, and a woman preserves her innocence for her only man.
