The bride's dowry is the things that a girl, together with her parents, prepares for marriage, and takes with her after the wedding. new house. This is one of the ancient traditions that have survived to this day. Of course, not in its original form - a modern dowry is different from the one that the bride owned several centuries ago.
How much has the tradition changed? What is included in a modern bride's trousseau? The answers to these questions are in the article.
Dowry history
Previously, the dowry was collected by the bride's parents to attract suitors to her. Noble brides had rich dowries, and men suited to their status wooed them. The poor, on the contrary, often did not have enough money to collect at least the basic necessities - the chance of profitably marrying off a girl in such a family was slim. Girls who did not have a dowry were called dowryless girls.
In the Middle Ages, a dowry was collected from the very birth of a girl, because then they were married at the age of 14-16. At first, the dowry was prepared by the mother, and the girl joined her only when she reached a conscious age. Things were put in chests and caskets - the bride took them with her after marriage.
Initially, only things served as a dowry - household utensils, furniture, clothing. Later they added money and securities.
Dowry today: why is tradition losing its former importance?
Most families today do not pay due attention to dowry. This is due to several reasons.
- Previously, the man was the “breadwinner” and “earner” in the family, and the woman did not work and raised children. Therefore, in order for her to make a contribution to their joint property with her husband, she had to prepare in advance. Modern women earn the same, or even more men- so they can buy everything they need after the wedding.
- The Internet allows modern girls to meet people at a distance and find grooms in other cities and countries. Often, after a wedding, a girl moves in with her husband, and delivering a substantial dowry many kilometers away is difficult, if not impossible. Therefore, we have to limit ourselves to personal belongings.
- Priorities are shifting. Modern men What they value in girls is not wealth and a rich dowry, but personal qualities. Girls also received more freedom and are free to choose who they marry. Therefore, marriages today are more often concluded for love, regardless of financial situation spouses.
Modern dowry - what is it?
As we have already said, the tradition has changed, lost its former meaning, but has not disappeared completely. Now we will tell you what things are usually included in a modern dowry.
Bride's personal belongings
Everything that only the bride will use - home clothes, jewelry, linen, weekend dresses. Formally, these things remain her property, although they are considered part of the dowry. According to tradition, things should be new, not worn, purchased specifically for the wedding.
Household utensils
This includes dishes, towels, bed linen, and, if desired, tablecloths, vases, and bedspreads. Previously, there were strict regulations on how many of these items should be in the dowry, but now the newlyweds themselves decide this. Sometimes this point is completely crossed out if the newlyweds want to go shopping together and choose household items together.
Furniture and household appliances
Not every bride can afford to buy a new sofa or, say, a TV for her wedding. This issue can be resolved simply - expensive gifts can be received from guests at a wedding; it is enough to warn them in advance about what things are needed, or write a list. This approach may seem too self-serving, but in fact wedding gifts- another old tradition.
Electronics and small appliances
This part of the dowry does not require any special cash outlay, and almost every modern girl can afford it. If it is not customary to buy a phone, laptop and tablet specifically for a wedding, then the bride can purchase a coffee machine or blender for her new apartment at her own expense.
How to collect a dowry?
Make a list, and in it distribute things in increasing order of importance - starting with essential items, ending with large furniture and household appliances. Collect according to the list. As you prepare, focus on your financial situation - if you only have enough money for important things, do not include the last items in the dowry. And if your budget is more than enough, then buy one or more expensive things - household appliances and furniture will definitely be useful to the newlyweds in their new home.
AND main advice: Focus primarily on the needs of the newlyweds. Some people don’t need decorative crystal, others don’t use tablecloths, and still others don’t use curtains. Bride's dowry modern world is not regulated by any canons - it all depends on your desires and capabilities!
Don't forget about wedding gifts! You can select them.
Why do you need to give a dowry for a bride?
A dowry is certain valuables or property that is allocated by the bride's parents for her marriage. In the modern world, such traditions have undergone dramatic changes, but have not yet disappeared. So why do they give a dowry for the bride?
Even in the writings of ancient times there are references to dowries. In those years, girls from rich families married in order to complement their husband. At the same time, the main purpose of ancestral beauties was to continue the lineage of two families. By giving a good dowry for their daughter, parents thus lured noble husbands, and also made sure that their children were provided with everything they needed when the time came to move to another house. In addition, a dowry was considered a kind of “payment” to a man for the fact that he undertakes to keep his wife in security and prosperity, because in the old days, newlyweds immediately after the wedding moved to the house of the husband’s family.
In Russian families, collecting a dowry began from the very birth of a girl. As a rule, the mother was involved in this matter, and after growing up, the daughter herself helped her. The amount of the dowry subsequently became the main criterion for selecting a future wife: the more it is, the more advantageous the girl looks, and the more candidates there are for husbands. Girls from poor families did not have a dowry, and were called dowryless, which meant they had very little chance of getting married. The bride's dowry was talked about without hiding the truth, and sometimes even flaunted in order to attract potentially profitable suitors.
The dowry of poorer families included household items: linen, bedding, clothing, kitchen utensils, etc. More noble families supplemented all of the above with a certain amount of money or precious materials. The bride's dowry was placed in a huge chest, which was kept until the wedding day, when the bride's parents brought or brought valuable goods to the door of the future husband's house, sat on it, and urgently demanded a ransom.
Somewhat later, the bride's dowry gradually transformed into cash, family jewelry, real and movable property. Thus, a bride with a rich dowry had the opportunity to acquire a socially significant status when marrying a husband of an impoverished but noble family. With the help of marriage, a kind of symbiosis was created that effectively united title and property. In the modern world, the very concept of a “bride’s dowry,” as well as the traditions of its transmission, are gradually disappearing.
Konstantin Makovsky
What should a bride not do at a traditional Russian wedding?
Weddings in Rus' have always been treated as a special, sacred ritual. No wonder there was a whole "system" wedding signs and superstitions, including numerous taboos. They especially concerned the behavior of the bride at the wedding. Some of them are still being observed today.
Wedding rings
It is not advisable to wear an old ring to a wedding (for example, one that previously belonged to someone). The bride should not buy the rings herself, the groom should do it. Rings purchased for a wedding are strictly prohibited from being given to anyone to try on. And it doesn’t matter - before or after the wedding. An exception may be small children. They can give rings to the young.
Can't drop wedding ring. This is for divorce. If this happens, you must immediately thread a thread through the ring - then all the negativity will transfer to it. After the wedding ceremony, the thread must be burned with the words: “Drive away all my troubles and sorrows with fire.”
After the newlyweds put on the rings, none of them should take the empty plate, pillow or box where they were lying. It is better if it is taken by an unmarried friend of the bride or an unmarried friend of the groom.
Wedding outfit
The bride's outfit should not be separate: say, a separate skirt and corset. This means that family life will be "separate".
Iron Wedding Dress maybe only the mother of the bride. The groom should not see the bride in him until wedding ceremony. Until the wedding or marriage registration at the registry office, the bride should not see herself in the mirror in a wedding dress from head to toe. If you really need to, you can look at yourself in the mirror in an “incomplete” outfit - say, without gloves, or in a dress, but without a veil. It is impossible for the outfit to include pearls - this will lead to the tears of the future wife.
On the wedding day, no strangers should be allowed to adjust the bride’s wedding dress. This can only be done by someone from close relatives.
If during the wedding the bride drops her scarf, she will remain a widow.
Shoes
The bride should not wear new shoes on her wedding day. You can buy shoes in advance and wear them a couple of times before the celebration. This ritual helps to bring good luck into the family.
God forbid, if the bride breaks her heel, it will lead to trouble for family life.
Wedding or registration
Married people cannot be invited as witnesses. During the wedding or registration procedure, the newlyweds must stay close at all times so that no one can pass or stand between them.
Road to the wedding
Superstitious people believe that going from a church or a registry office to wedding banquet Under no circumstances should you take the direct route. Like, devilry can harm young people. Therefore, you need to choose the most confusing route, then the evil spirits will be deceived.
Present
If you were given knives or forks for your wedding, it is better to refuse such a gift. As a last resort, you can pay a nominal fee for it.
At the table
Young people should not approach the wedding table clockwise. The bride and groom should not sit on chairs at the wedding table. There should be a bench for them, and they can only sit on it.
Young people should drink wine from glasses to the last drop. If something remains at the bottom, it means tears.
The bride should not let anyone cut the cake - she should do it herself. The groom is only allowed to hold the knife. The first piece goes to the bride, the second to the groom, and the third to the guests.
Bridal bouquet
The bride should not let go of the bouquet given to her by the groom all day until the wedding ends. It is believed that if you let go of the bouquet from your hands, family happiness will fly away. As an exception, you can give the bouquet to either the groom or the mother to hold. On wedding table You can put it in a vase in front of you and take it with you in the evening. But you shouldn’t throw a bouquet to your girlfriends - this is not a Russian custom at all.
After the wedding
After a wedding in Rus', a young wife was not supposed to enter the house with her own feet - the husband had to take her in his arms and carry her over the threshold. It was believed that then there would be advice and love in the family, and the husband would carry his wife in his arms all his life.
The custom of giving a dowry for a girl came to us from ancient times. Noble families, marrying off their daughter with a good dowry, thereby not only compensated the groom for the transfer of responsibility for the girl, but also sought to ensure that the daughter, having left her father’s house, would not need anything.
A bride's dowry refers to money or property that the parents give to their daughter when they marry her off. It was believed that the dowry in some way covered the expenses incurred by the groom's family when accepting a young wife into the house.
In the old days, the bride's dowry was collected by the mother from the very birth of the girl and subsequently served as the main criterion for choosing a future wife - the more dowry, the higher the demand for the bride, and, accordingly, the more applicants for her hand and heart.
Girls who did not have a dowry were called dowryless, and they had very little chance of getting married. The bride's dowry was put on public display so that anyone could view the valuables that the bride and groom received after the wedding.
Initially, the bride's dowry consisted of household items, including bedding and linen embroidered by the girl herself, as well as kitchen utensils and clothes of the young wife. The dowry of a Russian bride was traditionally placed in a large chest and carefully stored until the cherished wedding day.
On the wedding day, the bride's parents brought a valuable chest (sometimes there was more than one chest) to the gate of the groom's house, sat on top of it and demanded a ransom.
Composition of the dowry.
They started saving the dowry in advance, and the bride herself had a direct connection to this. P dowry preparation was one of the components of the process of preparing a girl for marriage and family life.
Starting from childhood, a peasant family saved up a dowry for their daughter, which they kept in chests. The dowry could include: underwear, dresses, bed, blanket, tabletops, tablecloths, canopies, chest covers, sheets, canvas, motley, from which the future wife and mother had to sheathe the whole family.
"Bride's Gifts"
The bride brought a whole mountain of homespun gifts to her future husband’s house, gifts to all his relatives. In addition to clothes, the bride was supposed to give “dresses” (patterned towels) of her own handicraft, as well as belts. The girl also prepared a gift for her betrothed.
"Wedding dress"
Each girl had to prepare her wedding dress I'll twist. It traditionally consisted of shirt, sundress, headdress, dress, belt, jewelry.
"Home Decoration"
The bride's dowry included 30-40, and sometimes up to a hundred beautifully embroidered towels, flies, table tops. During big church holidays They decorated the house with towels, which was visited by many guests, including future grooms. They carefully looked at the bride’s handicrafts, judged her neatness, hard work and other merits. Much attention paid to preparing the wedding bed.
Every girl before the wedding had to do shelygu (rag ball), which was an indispensable attribute of the ritual "childhood ransom"(the girl gave the shelyga to the children for games, and during the wedding the shelyga was driven from the bride’s house to the groom’s house). bed.
Veno
In feudal Europe and Rus', the dowry was known as vein. It meant the payment that the groom gave to the father or her relatives for the bride. Pagan Veno meant reward for girlish innocence; Consequently, girls were bought, but the grooms were obliged by special contracts to support their future wives decently until their death and in case of disagreement or break between them, to provide them with a special maintenance.
Sovereigns and sovereign princes provided the wives of the city and region for their own maintenance; nobles and rich people assigned part of their estate to the same item; those who were insufficient were obliged to reward them in a lump sum.
In Rus', princely brides did not bring a dowry. When Efanda, the wife of Grand Duke Rurik, gave birth to Igor, he gave her the city of Izhora and its surroundings. Grand Duke Vladimir I, having married the Greek princess Anna, returned the city of Korsun to her uncles instead of Veno. Grand Duke Yaroslav X gave the Izhora country to his wife Ingigerda instead of Vienna, etc. Consequently, the vein was then already understood as a dowry, determined under the conditions of marriage.
On the eve of the wedding, the transfer of the dowry and the bride's bed to the groom's house or to a separate house of the newlyweds was accompanied by its own customs. Special people were called for this. Among the merchants, the dowries were transported by women, and the matchmaker supervised everything.
Of the men, only "dray men", hired to carry heavy things. The dowry was transported on five covered carts. The train was called " bed" The first cart carried an icon and a samovar. The second cart carried dishes, and the third carried the bride's bed. On the fourth they carried carpet and furniture. The matchmaker and the bride's mother rode on the fifth cart, keeping the dowry list.
The modern bride's trousseau
Nowadays, the concept " dowry“no longer has the same meaning as in the past. However, in modern Russia this tradition has been preserved.
The bride's dowry is, as before, household items. In order to materially facilitate the first steps and formation of a newly created family, some prudent mothers begin collecting a dowry in advance; year after year, the necessary things accumulate in the chest. It `s naturally. Starting life young from scratch is not easy. Therefore, the dowry included: bed, wardrobe, dishes, first of all.
The generation of Soviet times remembers well the era of general shortages, when store shelves were empty, and buying a set of bed linen was a great success. It was then that mothers also stocked up on sets of underwear for their daughters, who were barely born. But while the daughter was growing up, the linen managed to turn yellow with time, and, ultimately, was no longer suitable as a dowry...
Nowadays, the issue of having a dowry is not so pressing on the agenda. However, we should not neglect the old traditions that live on, confirming the wisdom of our ancestors.
And although modern life has changed the requirements and standards, it is quite logical if a young woman, going to live with her husband, takes into the new house what is necessary, which will help create comfort in the house and arrange the life of the new family.
Now there are no strict requirements for the composition of a dowry. After all, every young family starts life together from different starting points: some already have everything they need, while others, on the contrary, are starting life from scratch.
By and large, a modern bride's trousseau is items that make household work easier and make life more enjoyable.
In any case, sets of bed linen, blankets, pillows, feather beds, towels will never become superfluous and will a good gift to a young family at the beginning of her life.
And they “give” a traditional dowry; it usually consists of the most necessary items. Newlyweds in most cases begin life together separately from their parents; they lack simple but necessary ordinary life of things. Therefore, the dowry should, if possible, satisfy the need for such things, imperceptibly making life more comfortable and settled.
During the first time of their marriage, young people will often receive guests, so it’s a good idea for the bride to have a beautiful tablecloth and a set of napkins in advance. This will create the necessary comfort even in a cramped kitchen, if the young family has not yet acquired its own living room with a large table.
Obviously, to receive guests you will also need dishes. This must be good set cutlery (often brides inherit it from their grandmothers), plates, pots and pans, glass and crystal dishes, mugs, etc. The point is not that a young wife should get used to working in the kitchen from the very beginning of their life together, but that in the first months the newlyweds will constantly lack basic things for receiving guests.
Traditionally, the dowry included bedding - sheets, duvet covers, pillowcases. It is reasonable to preserve this custom even now. Nowadays, the choice of bedding sets is so large and varied that you can choose the most suitable one for yourself. appearance, and for the price.
Of course, today all sorts of devices are often left as a dowry: household appliances (refrigerator, stove, microwave, iron, washing machine, TV, dishwasher, etc.), computers, phones, etc. These things, which perform a specific function, will easily take their place in the emerging everyday life.
Finally, as in ancient times, the bride may also be left with a monetary dowry. The benefits and convenience of this are obvious - young people will be able to independently manage their funds and decide what they need first.
Features of drawing up a dowry
Perhaps a modern dowry should, first of all, be unusual or unique. Young people are unlikely to be truly pleased or reassured by the presence of a huge amount of household appliances. Moreover, very often newlyweds receive gifts from friends and family that they already have. And the life of a new family begins in the company of two refrigerators and identical televisions. To avoid repetitions, items for a dowry should be selected very carefully and responsibly. You can make some of them yourself (for example, towels and napkins). The main purpose of a dowry is not to fill life after the wedding with banal items, but to brighten up the first month of life together and help avoid the simplest everyday problems.
There may come a time in every girl's life when her loved one proposes to her.
It is worth preparing for this event in advance by starting to collect a dowry.
Let's figure out what is included in the bride's dowry.
A little history
The tradition of collecting a dowry has come to us since ancient times. Even poor parents were obliged to collect it. This should have included: bed linen, towels, dishes, wedding dress.
If a girl did not have income and could not collect a dowry, she could not get married.
From childhood, the girl was taught to knit napkins, embroider shirts, tablecloths and bedding, which went into her dowry.
She also had to embroider sashes and towels that were given to the groom and his family. Before the wedding, the girl sewed a ball for future children.
In rich and poor families, collecting things for a prosperous life after the wedding was mandatory, and no one was exempt from sewing towels or shirts.
Before transporting the dowry, they made a list, and also organized a viewing party, at which the groom’s relatives were shown all their belongings.
The groom bought the dowry according to the list compiled so that things were safe. During the wedding contract, it was decided how many valuable things would be in new family. The groom's land and his status after the wedding passed to the bride.
Dowry today
Few families now collect a dowry in advance. Usually people think about this after the wedding.
The positive aspect of this is that the young couple will buy themselves what they need, rather than transporting rubbish that may not be useful to them.
The negative point is the financial difficulties that the family will face, especially if the girl gets married while already pregnant.
After all, in this case you will have to buy not only kitchen utensils, but also everything necessary for the child. Therefore, it is still better to take care of this in advance and buy the most necessary things.
Bed linen and towels
First of all, young people need bedding. This includes: mattress, bed linen, pillows, warm blanket, bedspread.
You can't do without towels. For two you will need 4 bath towels. Be sure to purchase separate ones for arms and legs. The kitchen also needs towels. 5 pieces will be enough. In families that adhere to old traditions, embroidered towels can be used.
Dishes and household appliances
As for the dishes, you need to choose them very carefully, because the prepared food should always be tasty.
As a dowry, the girl will need to purchase 4 pots of different sizes to cook soups, cereals, and pasta. You will need 3 pans. One will be used for making pancakes and the other two - medium and big size in order to prepare food.
Also important: a regular or electric kettle, baking tray and other baking utensils.
It is better to purchase several table sets. One will be used every day, and the second for guests. They should include plates, spoons, saucers, cups, glasses, glasses. You definitely need to buy a set of knives and wooden boards.
The dowry may also include household appliances. Essential items include: refrigerator, stove, washing machine. Later they purchase a TV, a vacuum cleaner, a mixer and other necessary household appliances.
Decoration
Any girl should look great in front of her husband, so you should take care of what is included in the dowry underwear, robes, shirts, pretty home clothes, as well as outfits for going out.
After all, a wife should not walk around the house in a mended robe, curlers and smell of borscht. Her image should be a reference in the eyes of her husband.
It's best to make a list of things you need and then expand on it. First of all, you need to focus on household supplies. Household appliances are acquired over time, but you need to start creating comfort in your home right away.
When choosing things you need to look at their quality. You don't have to buy everything expensive. The most important thing is that they last a long time.
The bride's dowry should not give the impression that the girl wants to show off her money. It should show her to be humble and caring.
Items prepared as a dowry must not be used before the wedding. After all, in new life you need to bring something new, not something old.
Photo of the bride's dowry
