There comes a time in every woman's life when she is faced with a choice - career or family. Of course, there are women who know how to combine both, but it is very difficult to determine how well they do it, and, while achieving career success, whether problems arise at home at the same time. Therefore, before making a choice, it is very important to weigh the pros and cons and try to find a compromise. This will help you honestly answer the question of what you are willing to sacrifice, family or career.
What is more important, career or family?
Now more and more more women They want to realize themselves in a professional field and make a career. If earlier this trend could be seen among women who had reached the age of 40, now very young girls who have graduated from institutes or technical schools strive for this. But sometimes, having reached career heights or become disillusioned with their work, they are left alone, sometimes destroying their family, but more often without creating one. To do right choice and avoid loneliness, you should set all your priorities for yourself from the very beginning of your career race. After all, often a woman who stubbornly strives to make a career simply could not improve her personal life at some point, directing her energy in a different direction.
According to surveys, it is by the age of 40 that most women begin to regret their chosen career. If, after getting married, a girl does not want to give up her career, it is necessary that her husband supports her choice, otherwise she will have to give up either her family or her career. It’s better to give up a career, because the concept of careerism is unusual for any woman; this applies to a greater extent to men. A woman’s nature does not include the role of a director and manager, but rather the role of a keeper of the hearth, never real woman will not fight for a place in the sun with tough men.
When choosing a career while having a family, a woman cannot fully give her children her love, attention, affection and care. Children do not receive the warmth they need, which directly affects their development and very often in a negative way. In addition, a career is not always a carefully weighed choice, but simply helps any person, not just women, to feel their own importance.
In pursuit of career heights, one should not forget that not only success in the professional field is important in this world. Work plays an important role in our lives, it helps us to realize ourselves, to show all our abilities, to develop best qualities and skills. But every woman is destined by nature itself to become a happy wife, a loving mother and a caring daughter. Only the inability to make the right choice and allocate time prevents you from achieving this to the fullest.
The main advice of psychologists is that a woman should learn to feel herself, understand what she wants at the moment, so as not to regret her choice later. Separately, I would like to mention that if you have made a career, but are still single, you should not despair. Until a worthy man appears in your life, it is better to start building a career, and as soon as this meeting takes place, direct all your energy to your family.
How to combine career and family
Sometimes it is not just the desire to make a career that forces a woman to work, but also the banal lack of funds for a full-fledged existence; not all husbands can provide for the family. In such a situation, there is no longer a problem of choice; if a woman values her husband, she can only learn to combine work and family.
- Distributing responsibilities between husband and wife will help reduce the burden on a woman and give her the opportunity to successfully climb the career ladder if she strives for this. Therefore, talk about which of you will be responsible for what.
- Try to distribute responsibilities at work in such a way that household chores and, most importantly, your loved ones do not suffer because of it. Using numerous techniques to rationally distribute working time and responsibilities, this is quite possible. Organize your workspace, both at work and at home, so as to save time on various operations.
- Don’t take your work home and don’t discuss work issues all evening, spend time free time and weekends only for family. Learn to separate work and home.
- To avoid problems if you earn more than your husband and he shows dissatisfaction, try to create conditions for your husband professional growth and an atmosphere that will make him feel that he remains a full-fledged owner in the house, despite your successes. It’s even better if you let him know that only thanks to his support, help, good advice and faith in you, you have reached such career heights. Remind often that all your successes at work are a shared achievement, but don’t over-praise.
- Remember, workaholism and the desire to make a career are incompatible.
- Don't sacrifice your time with your children. Gifts, sports clubs and the best nannies cannot replace a mother for children, so sacrifice your career for the sake of your children. Spend all your free time with your children, arrange holidays together, play, take an interest in school affairs and hobbies.
- Be sure to remember that your husband also needs your attention and care. If you have to work overtime, let your spouse know and don't forget to make up for it on the next day off by having a romantic morning that turns into lunch and dinner. Try to avoid working on weekends and refuse to work overtime. Build your career not by increasing your working hours, but by your professionalism and deep knowledge.
Career and family for a woman
If you think about it and honestly answer the question to yourself, it turns out that many women strive to make a career in order to meet a worthy man and at the same time achieve a certain material stability and level in society. There are no other clearly defined reasons that force one to persistently overcome step after step of the career ladder. Having achieved what they want, usually women no longer strive to move even higher; this remains, even today, the prerogative of men. Women who have received the desired position and have reached a clearly defined level of income begin to think about starting a family, that it is time to direct all their efforts to finding worthy man, birth and raising children.
Therefore, if there is energy and ambition in the character, it is best for a woman to realize herself first as a business person and only after that start starting a family. Unfulfilled professional potential can become an obstacle to happy family, as it will become a source of quarrels, scandals and mutual claims. To avoid this, if a woman feels the need and desire to work, let her work and not worry about what to choose, a career or a family. After all, it is quite possible to combine career and family simply by properly organizing your workday and distributing responsibilities.
A self-actualized woman is much calmer and happier than one who sacrificed her dreams for her family. Unfortunately, it is also worth remembering that now men are no longer restrained by society, the church, or children, and a woman who knows how to provide for herself will not find herself in difficult situations. financial situation if the man decides to leave her. In addition, everyone has the right to choose and freedom to make decisions, so make a career if you want it, but remember that when you become an honorary former director of a retired plant, you will want to have family and friends nearby, so don’t forget about family, career won’t give you a glass of water.
You shouldn’t look at those women who completely devoted themselves to their family. If you look closely, many of them simply do not want to work and are comfortable in their own world. They easily made their choice because they do not have any inflated goals and desires. They want to remain, first of all, a wife, mother, daughter and woman, and not a manager, but they also risk being in difficult situation theirs increases if the family breaks up.
The most the best option there is only one left, if you have ambitions and abilities, realize them before you have a family, as soon as you get married, find time and energy for your family, and then you will be able to successfully combine both your career and family without doing choice between them.
Family or career - what is more important? This question is age-old women's problem, because for men everything is much simpler; if a man is successful in the business sphere, his opportunity for self-realization increases and the choice of life partners becomes wider.
For women, everything is much more complicated.
Success in their career does not guarantee their personal happiness.
Many talented women leaders find it difficult to find a life partner. The children are ultimately left to their own devices, since their mother spends all her time at work.
Does all of the above mean that the entire bet should be placed on the family?
But here, too, many women face disappointment. The feeling of unfulfillment for the majority forms a large inferiority complex, because the social circle of housewives is limited to the family. In search of self-realization, a woman surrounds her husband and children with great care, which over time develops into mega-control, which destroys many marriages.
What then should you give preference to: career or family? Or maybe try to combine them?
When solving this difficult dilemma, thoughts come to mind: you need to do everything consistently. First career, and then family, or vice versa. It would seem that everything is simple and logical, but there are also many pitfalls here.
Career?
Let's try to figure it out and put career first, and then family and children.
Young girls, full of enthusiasm and energy, ready for unexpected actions that often lead to success, are never limited by thoughts that they might not succeed. They are responsible only for themselves, are not burdened with children and family, they can devote all their time to work and not worry that they will then have to explain to someone why you were late at work. They do not have to restore themselves after childbirth, because while you are giving birth and nursing your baby, your knowledge becomes outdated, your ability to learn is significantly reduced, interesting ideas are invented and implemented by someone else.
It seems that the advantages of putting your career first are quite significant, but there are also many disadvantages.
By delving into work, many women dull their desire to become a mother. It seems like you want children, but you just can’t decide to take this action. One day you realize that you are happy with your life and don’t want to change anything, you’re already happy with everything. What then about maternal instinct?
In many Western countries, women give birth after thirty because it is considered fashionable. The older a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to get pregnant, as modern doctors say - late childbirth is a very big risk for both the woman and the child.
Is family more important?
Let's try to formulate the question differently, and put family first, and then career.
This option is not so common, but it also has many positive aspects.
Firstly, there is no complex that you don’t have a family.
After all, on a subconscious level, every woman dreams of getting married and having a child, and if she is deprived of this, then, over the years, she develops a complex that prevents her from further creating normal relationships with people. You give birth calmly, you don’t worry that there is very little time left and it’s time for you to go out with maternity leave, and you give your baby a lot of maternal care and affection, which he so needs.
If a woman has a successful marriage, then their husbands are very supportive of them in their endeavors, and sometimes they can even provide initial capital for these endeavors. But not everything is so smooth here either!
One of the main questions is probably when can you start a career?
When the child will go to kindergarten or will he grow up to school? Or maybe when he goes to university? After all, at each of these life stages it will seem to you that your child is still small and needs maternal support.
As they say in the poems of Eduard Asadov “...children are always children for their mother, even if they are twenty or thirty years old...”. If we proceed from such reasoning, then the time for a career may not come. Time does not stand still, and while you give birth, raise your child, your enthusiasm, knowledge and dexterity are lost, and many new promising competitors appear on the labor market, and in just a few years you may find yourself far behind the business sphere. Also, not every husband will want to support his wife’s initiative to make a career, and choosing between what you love and the person you love is very difficult, as is solving the dilemma of family or career.
Combine family and career?
How to combine family and career? There are a large number of examples in which women successfully realize themselves and how business women, and as wives and mothers. How did they do it, and what helped them achieve such results? Firstly, it is the ability to balance between family and career, faith in yourself and your strengths.
If you want your life to be rich, then you should never choose between career and family, but rather try to learn to combine these two sides of your life!
More and more often there are families in which both spouses work. At the same time, the desire to work and climb the career ladder is not at all due to a lack of material resources. Basically, such a desire is explained by the satisfaction of one’s own ambitions and uncertainty in tomorrow.
Previously, women tried to devote all their free time to family, children and solving everyday problems, but now women try to reveal their full potential at work. In many couples, the issue of distribution of household responsibilities is very acute. In such a situation, the husband often cannot understand why it is he who cooks dinner today and why the wife, in general, needs to work in such a position that takes up a huge amount of her time and effort. After all, they can live well on his salary.
The pursuit of a career can destroy a family
Whatever the reasons behind such a desire, such a tendency leads to the fact that relationships begin to deteriorate and they have to be “treated.” After all, if both partners are careerists, then conflicts in the family cannot be avoided. In such cases, it is imperative to seek a compromise, otherwise the partners risk completely ruining the relationship. No one argues that after a hard day at work there is absolutely no energy for either a child or a loved one, and there is no time left for oneself. But you need to learn to take care of and preserve your relationships, otherwise the situation may come to the point where the relationship will no longer be revived.
First, let’s figure out how such an active desire to work is expressed.
It is impossible to say unequivocally whether it is good or bad when both spouses work. On the one hand, when the wife ceases to play the role of keeper of the hearth, the usual way of life collapses. But, if you look from the other side, both working spouses are a guarantee of financial security. None of us have one hundred percent confidence in the future. Who said that tomorrow there won’t be another default, the company won’t go bankrupt, or one of the spouses won’t be fired from work? We will not consider here more tragic cases when one of the spouses becomes disabled or dies as a result of an illness or accident.
It also happens that it is simply unrealistic to live on the salary of one of the spouses, especially if there are children in the family. In this case, the woman, regardless of her desires, goes to work. After all, it’s quite difficult to support and raise even one child these days, let alone several kids? How much money is spent on kindergartens, schools, paying for clubs, sections, and so on?
Sometimes you can combine work and career
But there is a third reason why a woman goes to work. She's just tired of feeling dependent on own husband. Perhaps, looking at the majority of her friends and acquaintances, who can buy themselves new fur coats or jewelry and are not afraid that tomorrow their husband will decide to leave for another woman, and they will remain useless and unemployed, the woman also decides to become independent. This not only increases your financial capabilities, but also gives you self-confidence. In addition, work allows you to reveal your capabilities and make yourself a respected person. Sometimes this is exactly what is missing in one’s own family.
How can you still manage to keep your family together if you both work?
First, we need to discuss this issue at family council. Quite often, household members do not understand why a woman should go to work, because everything is already good. The reason should be formulated as softly as possible, but voiced in a confident tone. For example: “I’m getting a job because we need to buy a car. Money will be put aside for her from my salary!” Under no circumstances should you humiliate your own husband or tell him that all husbands are able to earn money for family needs. That only in your family everything rests on fragile women’s shoulders. One such phrase will mark the beginning of long strife and conflicts.
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How can a woman manage everything? Find out more details. |
Don't forget about your children. After all, if parents are away from home for a long time, children feel abandoned and unnecessary. Organize family dinners, game nights, or walks for them. On weekends, you can organize a family shopping trip or a trip to nature, a park, a trip to the cinema, theater or circus. Show in every possible way that children are the most precious thing you have, and that you will never forget about them.
If the children continue to feel unhappy, let them meet you after work, unless, of course, the work day ends too late. You will go home together, you can chat and go shopping with your daughter along the way. You can even make a tradition out of this. This way you can bond and let your baby know that work is not an obstacle between you. Let your child be proud of your successes at work, and if possible, let him sometimes come to visit you and observe what you are doing.
Or maybe it’s still a family?
Also, don't forget about your partner. After all, it’s not only children who can feel abandoned. A husband is also a man who needs female affection and attention. Nobody argues that you are very tired after a hard day at work. But it is precisely because of this that you move away from your husband. There is no previous understanding between you, physical contacts are also reduced. Life becomes predictable, as if “on schedule.” Don't forget to surprise your beloved man and make him happy. He should not think that there is no longer the same love and passion between you as before.
Ultimately, a career is not an end to family relationships
Work can be successfully combined with family responsibilities
Millions of people have somehow managed to overcome misunderstandings among family members on this issue. Everything can be adjusted and fixed. The main thing is to want it and try, and not think: “Oh, okay. Let everything take its course!” Family is the most precious thing you have, you need to take care of it like the apple of your eye. Think about what exactly you yourself are doing wrong, understand your mistakes. Analyze the behavior of your household members, think about what they are doing wrong.
Look for a compromise that will suit everyone and solve the problem. Use your wisdom, after all. Think about what you would do if you were not in the situation. Look at it all from the outside. Imagine that a friend came to you for advice, what would you advise her? As a rule we give valuable advice others and can easily help them cope with their problems, but when we ourselves find ourselves in the same situation, we have absolutely no idea what to do.
And finally, the most important thing: initially, when choosing a job, think about whether it will include frequent business trips, overtime work in the evenings and on weekends. You need to immediately find an option that will not become a hindrance for you in your family relationships. Just keep this in mind before submitting your resume to any job openings.
Due to the economic situation in the country, modern families This situation often occurs when both spouses work. Psychologists believe that this is important factor, affecting family life. Women, who previously spent all their free time doing household chores, began to work quite a lot, practically renouncing their former responsibilities. In many couples, the question arises about who will do household chores and how, and how household responsibilities will be divided.
Often, couples who devote themselves to work are more likely to encounter conflicts in the family. Both men and women get tired of everyday work and monotonous work. Arriving home, tired spouses can “take it out” on each other and, without noticing it, create a conflict. When both spouses are busy promoting their careers, it is quite difficult to avoid conflicts and quarrels. They often do not have enough time for their family, for household chores, or for themselves.
What could this mean? The answer to this question lies on the surface. The marriage may fall apart. The spouses will be doomed to loneliness. They will lose family warmth and support loved one. And even the results achieved at work may not bring proper pleasure. How to avoid such a fate? 
Couples with this problem need to try to take care of their relationship. A marriage that is not nourished by feelings is doomed to the fact that work will push out thoughts about love and the other half. That is why you should realize your mistakes in time. Before it's too late. You don't have to choose a career or a family. You just need to learn how to combine them.
For permanently working spouses, it is important to spend free time together, organize joint trips to the movies, cafes or museums. Warm it up family hearth dinners together. At least at home. Trips outside the city, into nature, will also have a beneficial effect on relationships. It is important to find at least 15 minutes to just chat with your loved one. Not about everyday topics, but about each other’s feelings and experiences. At such moments, you should listen carefully to your partner and try to give him advice. The main thing is not to forget about each other and not to put career above family, because true love not so easy to find.
Household responsibilities can also drag a couple down. You shouldn’t wait for family troubles to develop into conflict. Responsibilities simply need to be agreed upon in advance and divided between spouses. While not forgetting to leave work that the couple can do together. Thus combining necessary work around the house while spending quality time with your loved one.
What is more important – family or work? Everyone has the right to decide for themselves. But those who value both the first and the second must be able to properly distribute their time so as not to end up with nothing later on.
