Hearing my wish, the fish died...
It was only when my wife started driving next to me in the car that I understood the real meaning of the words “interference on the right.”
New alarm "Grigory Leps": When you try to steal a car, it screams - But it's not yours!
People are divided into two halves. Some, upon entering the room, exclaim: “Oh, who do I see!”; others: “Here I am!”
Love asked friendship: “Why do you exist if I exist?” Friendship replied: "To leave smiles where you leave tears..."
VKontakte is like ancient Egypt - people write on walls and worship cats!!!
At first I wanted to go to conquer Moscow. And then I found out that there is a World.
People may forget what you said. They may forget what you did. But they'll never forget how you made them feel
Use your smile to impact the world. Don't let the world affect your smile!!!
Don't judge a person until you are in his place!
I want to point a magic wand at you and shout: “Pizdikulus in ebalus!!!”
The guy sends an SMS: “This subscriber is asking the subscriber to marry him.” A response SMS arrives: “Dear subscriber! There are insufficient funds in your account to fulfill this request.”
The heart whispered: LOVE!!! The brain screamed: OH you and duuuuraaaa!!!
You can't change your life overnight, but you can change your thoughts overnight, which will change your life!
Men are like mice... You look at it separately - it’s a cute, touching animal, but when it gets into the house, you immediately want to poison it
If an adult rabbit is not fed for a week, then, as scientists say, it will be able to swallow a boa constrictor, and if it is also separated from the female rabbit for a week, then the boa constrictor will seriously regret that the rabbit did not immediately swallow it!
Zhenya, why did you hit Uncle Vlad in the head with a brick? - I won’t do it anymore - and he doesn’t need anymore
Anyone who cannot have 2/3 of a day for himself should be called a slave.
I turned on the water in the bathroom, sat down at the computer, 2 hours later I saw a slipper floating past the door and realized that I was a dumbass
I'm really sorry there's no official International Day Idiot... Sometimes it would be necessary to congratulate some people...
I decided to tell him about my feelings. I came to him and.. - And? - What? His friend is so cute that I think I fell in love
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want...
How about a kiss? - Where?! - Under the ponytail... - In the ass, or what?!! - IN THE NECK, BRAKE!!! THERE'S A PAIL ON YOUR HEAD!
Yesterday I had my first serious fight over a guy... With my husband...
If you are not loved, do not beg for love. If they don’t believe you, don’t make excuses. If you are not valued, don’t prove it
Most best friend- it's a cat. He will never blame you for eating at night. He will eat
together with you.
We remained friends. Friends who will never call or write to each other.
If they say “coo like doves” about a couple in love, then should they say “angry birds” about a couple who argue all the time?
Mom, why is it so dirty on the stove? - Dad fried eggs. - What, without a frying pan?
If you can’t defeat your opponent with a feather, take a closer look at the ax
Women's logic: “I know I’m to blame... but I’m offended!”
You do good, and in return, OPA and THEM@YA!
The pig, who saw a barbecue in the yard, began to catch mice and bark at strangers...!
All people have the right to make mistakes... But women have no limits!
A true friend will never ask “why?” She just goes to the store, buys it, brings it, opens it and pours it.
If you say simple censorship: “Oh! Hurt!" - that means you’re not really in any fucking pain...
A very interesting site “Odnoklassniki” - they don’t say hello on the street, but ask to be friends!!!
Every married man Well, at least once in his life he wants to hear from his wife the phrase “Darling, hit me on the head now, otherwise I’ll cackle something…”
Two people cannot fall in love with each other at the same time and cannot stop loving each other on the same day.
Dad yelled at mom. Mom yelled at her son. The son yelled at the cat. The cat shits in everyone's slippers
Appreciate those who can see three things in you: the sadness behind the smile, the love behind the anger, and the reason for your silence.
A man died. His dog lay down next to him and also died. And now the soul of a man stands in front of the gate with the inscription “Paradise” and next to it is the soul of a dog. There is a sign on the gate: “No dogs allowed!” The man did not enter these gates, he passed by. They walk along the road, the second gate, on which nothing is written, only the old man sits next to him. - Excuse me, dear... but what is behind these gates? - Paradise. - Is it possible with a dog? - Certainly! - And there, before, what kind of gate? - In hell. ONLY THOSE WHO DO NOT LEAVE FRIENDS REACH HEAVEN
And how do you like her? - No way... harmful... proud... little girl... - So what, you won’t meet her again? - No, friend, I’ll marry her....
Top statuses on VK are for those who are used to choosing the best. Surprise your friends and subscribers with interesting phrases.
Everything ingenious is simple
- An adult is when instead of a vacation there is nothing to wait for.
- Living for others means trying to do what they don't expect. Living for yourself is trying to do what you don’t expect from yourself.
- You can steal money, things, jewelry - anything. But it is impossible to steal happiness.
If you want to attract attention, then quickly set statuses on VK top.
- I can't love everyone. But I sincerely respect those who do at least something good for me.
- Hey, I couldn’t even think that you would read this status...
- How much money would you lose if you put at least a ruble into your piggy bank for every missed opportunity?
You shouldn't call a bad person bad words. Call it an alarm clock, it always infuriates
VK top status is for those who are not ready to compromise.
- "Barbos" is man's friend. Especially if it’s a cafe, and they lend beer there.
- If there are cockroaches in your room, it means they have something to eat, and you are not so poor.
- A good movie from childhood is when you watch it again as an adult and are happy to discover that it is still good.
Don't know how to diversify the status line? Set the status for VK top!
- If you are unlucky with your last name, don’t be shy, come up with cool names for your children!
- What a time: either Internet addiction or some kind of shopaholism. No, just drink or smoke...
- Insomnia is given so that you at least once have time to think with your own head...
Life is so risky that you need to have time to live now
The top statuses are collected in the selection below.
- Take a closer look at those who, when meeting you, say: “What kind of people.” Be careful with those who say, “Here I am.”
- Only losers complain about their country. Successful people compare Turkey to Egypt.
- Words and thoughts go into eternity. Feelings and smells are never forgotten.
Those who are not used to looking up to the opinions of others set the highest VK statuses.
- How good it is to get married, but how boring it is to live afterwards. In most cases…
- If you can't take actions, change your thoughts. Change until you can do the actions.
- Legend says that in order to understand a man, you just need to try and ask him.
Great thoughts for unconventional girls
The top statuses on VK are for those who are used to immediately declaring their position.
- And someone gets the idea to read the words backwards, and then write in their statuses what happened...
- Happiness is already an excuse, whatever one may say...
- The more thoughts you dismiss, the happier you become. This is why they say that the brain is a hindrance to happiness.
We know that you deserve top VK statuses for top girls!
- In the media they ask us to quit smoking, but in reality they don't care even if we shoot ourselves.
- I drive a car perfectly in any condition, but if I'm drunk and I see a phone... I need to be rescued!
- “Everything is in your hands,” they said. “Be gentler and softer, you’re a girl,” they said.
Summer won't change anything. You will change everything, honey
Top status in VK for girls is to the delight of the cutest users of this social network.
- If you don't believe my words, then listen to my goosebumps.
- A long vacation is when you are ready to give up everything to work a little.
- I used to consider tower science to be a complicated science, until I learned that I also need to understand myself...
- The beginning of a relationship is when you can’t choose how to surprise with “How are you?” or “What are you doing?”
If you are ready to go beyond what is permitted, then set top statuses for girls.
- I would really like to bring kindness back into fashion, and finally remove floor-length skirts from it.
- And how do you buy your iPhones? If you take it off, you won’t freak out normally...
- They say that for a business to succeed, you have to put your soul into it. But there are such things that you feel sorry for even a piece!
- Men consider me gorgeous woman, and only dad knows how much I love to sing into my hairbrush.
Know how to leave what you don’t like in time!
Top VK statuses for girls - for those who are not used to wasting money on ordinary phrases.
- Even if others believe in you, understand that their opinion can change at any moment. Therefore, you need to believe in yourself.
- It seems to me that if they didn’t come up with gossip about me, I would make it up myself...
- You just need to do more than everyone else and you will be happy. What's so complicated?
If there is anything worth taking seriously, then only top VK statuses for girls.
- I am not sad if they say to me: “Oh God, you again.” I'm flattered...
- Everyone makes mistakes. Imagine this, successful people They are also often mistaken. But not always.
- If you feel bad, you can complain to a friend, you can write a book about it. Or you can just leave, quit or stop...
- The legend says that you can put it off until tomorrow, but if yesterday you haven’t put it off until today!
Please yourself more and fill your life with positive moments. And, of course, don’t forget about top statuses!
Although a little delayed, it’s time to summarize the results of the “Status Battle between different social networks.” We remind you that our Status Battle between various social networks included: VKontakte statuses, statuses from Odnoklassniki, statuses for Facebooka, statuses for Twittera and statuses from Liveinternet.ru. The time has come to hold the final and see which statuses will make it to the Best statuses. So, the Final of the Battle of statuses from different social networks, let's start with statuses for VKontakte:
1. Dear God, please do it the way I need it... and not the way I want it!
2. For everything good in this life you have to... want to sleep!!!
3. Standard photo of the guy. A guy and 2 girls. Under the photo there is a caption: “Me and my Helen.” It’s generally not clear which of them is Lenochka, and which of them is “I”.
4. Whatever one may say, best wardrobe for clothes - a chair!
5. - Are you asking if I have a cherished dream?
- Of course have. I've been wanting to quit drinking for a long time!
- Well, what's the matter - come on!
- Yes, but how and why then live without a dream?!!
6. Body: I want a martini. Heart: I protest, I want love! Brain: protest rejected, I also want a martini...
7. To those who dropped out of university, I want to say two things: 1) you, in any case, tried 2) I don’t like it when there are a lot of onions in my Big Mac!
8. VKontakte is like ancient Egypt - people write on walls and worship cats!!!
9. VKontakte rule: If you can’t win an argument, pick on the grammar!
10. Use your smile to impact the world. Don't let the world affect your smile!!!
Use your smile to impact the world. Don't let the world affect your smile!!!
The best funny statuses for VKontakte:
11. The guy sends an SMS: “This subscriber is asking the subscriber to marry him.” A response SMS arrives: “Dear subscriber! There are insufficient funds in your account to fulfill this request."
12. I wonder what VKontakte employees do to kill time?
13. I am very sorry that there is no official International Idiot Day... Sometimes it would be necessary to congratulate some...
14. I want to organize a rock band “Beer Free”, because if a sign hangs in a pub: “Tomorrow at 21-00 Beer Free”, then the hall will be full!!!
15. If an adult rabbit is not fed for a week, then, as scientists say, it will be able to swallow a boa constrictor, and if it is also separated from the female rabbit for a week, then the boa constrictor will seriously regret that the rabbit did not immediately swallow it!
The best female statuses for VKontakte:
16.. Manicure... Pedicure... Makeup... Hair removal... Ehhhh. And as a child, you tie a bow and you’re a beauty!!!
17. If you look at me like that again, let’s go to the registry office!
18. Guys are like...yes, like mushrooms...the most beautiful and prettiest ones then turn out to be the most, the most poisonous!
19. They say about the worst things “you wouldn’t wish them on your enemy,” but I always wish them...
20. How sad it is that most men have stopped pursuing those they really like; they simply choose those who will definitely agree...
21. Are you bored? Want to hear an entertaining story? Send a text message to your husband: “I know everything! how could you do this?”
22. In the life of every woman there should be a man with whom it is a lot of fun, and who really turns you on, a man with whom you simply feel at ease... The main thing is that these three do not know about each other!
23. Yesterday I had a serious fight for the first time over a guy... With my husband...
24. You are kind, this is very good, this will definitely be useful in life... To others!
25. An oven is not a oven, it’s a place for a frying pan!!!
26. Guys should be treated like underwear. Throw away the old and worn, keep what makes you feel beautiful and sexy!
27. You can seduce a woman who has a husband. You can tempt a woman who has a lover. You can captivate a woman who has both a husband and a lover. But you cannot seduce a woman who has a LOVED, because she already has everything she needs...
The best statuses for VKontakte about Love:
28. Well done cats! Unlike people, they will never sleep with those they don’t love...
29. We have learned to imitate not only orgasms, but also happiness. Beautiful. sincerely. inimitable. loud and dirty...
30. —Are you asking how I feel about sex? Yes, I owe my life to sex!
31. It happens, She honestly waited for him all her life. But I didn’t expect a sudden return from a business trip...
32. Orgasm is nothing compared to the feeling when you find yours in the morning. mobile phone, and in the evening I thought that I had lost him!
33. If they say about a couple in love “cooing like doves,” then about a couple who argue all the time should they say “angry birds”?
34. Pouring out your soul to someone is the same as vomiting in public. Feeling better will make you feel better, but it won’t do without general contempt and gloating...
35. Don't ignore someone who cares about you. One day you may discover that while counting the stars, you missed the Sun!
36. Love means nothing without action. Trust means nothing without confirmation. Apologies mean nothing without change!
I want to organize a rock band “Beer Free”, because if a sign hangs in a pub: “Tomorrow at 21-00 Beer Free” then the hall will be full!!!
The best male statuses for VKontakte:
37. Never marry a girl you can just live with! You need to marry the one you can’t live without!
38. I just can’t find the answer to the question - why do girls photoshop themselves for Contacts, but forget to photoshop their dirty room behind them?
39. I plan to be completely unpredictable, today from 16-35!
40. If there was a laziness championship, I would win!!! And I would send someone else for the prize!!!
41. Guys, while you are thinking whether to invite a girl to dinner or not, the girl has already decided whether she is ready to marry you!
42. Men, you don’t need to look for women - look for money, and then a woman will find you herself!!!
43. It was only when my wife started driving next to me in the car that I understood the real meaning of the words “interference on the right.”
44. “Wow, great!” Girls usually use this word as the last argument at the very end of an argument - meaning that they are right and you need to shut up.
45. The guy must remember: The day we met. First date day. First kiss day. Day of first sex. But the male brain is not able to remember so many dates at once, so the guys try to combine it into one day!
The best statuses for VKontakte are non-format:
46.. Gerda, where is my icy heart? -Sorry, Kai, I @banned him with whiskey....
47. You do good, and in return OPA and THEM@YA!
48.. The sages say that we are all the smiths of our own happiness... Lately, I really want this forge to be taken away from me, because I am always forging some kind of... bullshit!!!
49. If you say simple censorship: “Oh! Hurt!" - that means you’re not really in any fucking pain...
50. Every married man wants, well, at least once in his life to hear from his wife the phrase “Darling, hit me on the head now, otherwise I’m cackling something...”
Of course, in order to be interesting and attract attention, you need to be able to write funny. VK statuses are mostly funny and interesting. Our site can help you speak in such a way that people understand you and so that your statements are not worse than others.
VK is a serious resource where everyone reads each other with great interest. Cool thought forms can make the user popular.
New VK statuses
In the new year, even though it has just begun, many new interesting sayings have appeared. This makes everyone happy because it shows that people continue to think and invent new solutions to old problems. The appearance of new thought forms was influenced by the events that marked the beginning of the new year, and by the fact that people changed a little and received new judgments about some old and ordinary things. They say that “the new is the well forgotten old.” IN in this case The old truth is only half right. In fact, many sayings have no analogues, and you can see this if you look through the collection of our resource.
Beautiful statuses for VKontakte
As before great attention is given to the beauty of thoughts. On our site, as before, Love reigns supreme. The most beautiful sayings dedicated to her. She is the queen and legislator of that direction of thought that is dedicated to the sensual side of man.
They express themselves beautifully both about their feelings and about their relatives. This category of thought forms helps people get closer and begin to understand each other, forgive mistakes and strive for positive thinking.
VK statuses with meaning
It is worth saying that the administration of our site has long noticed the desire of our users to search and find in our collection something that is endowed with deep meaning. This makes us happy and directs us towards replenishing the resource because it speaks of a person’s ability to analyze and express themselves in a sophisticated way.
Statements with meaning are our specialty. Can you understand their meaning and appreciate the hidden desires of those who wrote them?
The Man said and the Man did - these are two different men!
- Dad, dad, I will never go sledding with you again! - Stop whining, let's take it!
Are you walking, my love? Go for a walk... No one is holding you by the horns...
Sometimes you so painfully want to put some kind of obscene status, but then suddenly you remember that my friends are a lot of decent people, and they, too, bitch, consider me decent...
I messed up myself, it’s my own fault, I’m killing myself, damn, how independent I am...
Childhood is that happy time when you run out of the toilet at night and are glad that you weren’t eaten..
Who rips bears' paws? Shoving bunnies in the rain? Tanya threw the ball into the river? Did you break the bull's plank? Everyone knows who it is - it's Agnia Barto!
Homes used to have a crackling fireplace, but now there's a keyboard...
Valenki are overgrown, hardened and graying men's socks.
You've done the job - cover it with branches!
Statuses in contact about love
Give me the letter "I". She is cool. It can connect everything you want: heaven and earth, day and night, you and me...
A woman is weakest when she loves someone, and strongest when she is loved by someone.
I don't need a handsome man. I'm not interested in your complex face. Details are important to me: your eyelashes, lips, the way you look...
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean they don't love you with all their soul.
Uv. friends and all those who wished me happiness, love and good luck in the new year. I hasten to inform you that nothing happened!
Wanting to go to bed with someone is not the most important thing; maybe it’s more important to wake up together in the morning and make tea for each other.
Love is like a fragrant flower on the edge of an abyss, but it takes courage to pick it.
“Love is torment!” said the monkey, hugging the hedgehog.
Love comes and goes, but you always want to eat!
Sad statuses in contact
She runs away from the past, but always thinks about it. She doesn't believe in miracles, but continues to make wishes for the holidays. I see her in the mirror every day.
Sometimes it’s easier to say “everything is fine” than to explain why you so want to smash your head on the radiator...
Sometimes I don’t understand myself... If I write something sad, it doesn’t mean sadness. And the smiling emoticon at the end is not a sign that she has stopped shedding tears...
How I wish I could turn back time... a year ago... not make past mistakes... change a lot... not be so gullible... and appreciate a lot.
I’m sad about our relationship... Just recently we walked everywhere holding hands and were so happy together, but now we blame each other for our shortcomings...
You need to cross people out of your life with a black marker... and not with a simple pencil, hoping that at any moment you can find an eraser.
The positive limit has been exhausted, try smiling later.
As long as a person does not give up, he is stronger than his destiny...
I went through fire, water and copper pipes, all I have to do is pass you by and not cry...
I can change my VKontakte status... This is one of the few things that changes so easily...
Statuses in contact for girls
You are offended by him, you get angry, but he twists everything so that in the end you yourself begin to ask him for forgiveness. Not fair!
I am crazy! And damn, I'm proud of it!
What is happiness? It's you... your smile, warm breath, gentle whisper tender words in my ear, kisses, your hand in mine... love...
You make a God out of him, and he leaves... Another makes a beast out of him, and he licks her hands...
She is a psychopath and hysterical, she often screws herself up, she loves to laugh and have fun, but she cries very often... And her heart loves him very much...
Handbag: proof that money isn't everything.
I stopped dreaming about you. Well done, I realized that I don’t need it anymore.
May you slip on my tears, you bastard...
A girl who knows how to cook can find a man who knows how to eat.
A man's home is his fortress, but only from the outside. Inside, this is most often a children's room.
Contact statuses for guys
Jealousy is the suspicion that not only you are cheating, but also you...
Woman, remember! In order for a man not to have a mistress, he must go out with a full stomach and empty balls!
If there’s something about me that doesn’t suit you, then you can take the drum and lead the column of those going to hell!
You yourself are assholes, I'm a balloon
I don't change - I compare!
Forget you? What do you! I should remember first...!
There's sawdust in her head, nope!!! But there is paper in the bra... yes...
I hate it when girls write “I’m hard to find and easy to lose”! What are you, socks?
Arguing with a girl is like cutting a pig. No fur, but a lot of squealing!
Do you love freedom? Free!
