Oh this one female orgasm, about which they talk so much! So desirable and so elusive. So close and so far. The heroines of modern romance novels or films never seem to wonder how a woman can get an orgasm: they easily achieve it at the will of the author or at the command of the director. At the same time in real life many women admit that they just fake an orgasm during sex, but in fact they have never experienced it. They cannot tell their man about this because they are either embarrassed or afraid that he will consider them sexually defective or frigid. In reality, the reasons for the lack of orgasm lie not at all in this.
Orgasm is a delicate matter
Amazingly, just a generation ago, the female orgasm was considered unimportant and unnecessary, since its presence or absence in no way affects a woman's ability to conceive a child. Moreover, there was an opinion that most women are generally incapable of experiencing pleasure during intimacy. Fortunately, these days the attitude towards this issue has changed. It is now known that, unlike the male orgasm, which is the body’s automatic response to sexual arousal, the female orgasm can occur only under favorable conditions.
The inability to listen to your own body and relax are the two main enemies of the female orgasm. The first reason is the result of a puritanical upbringing and bashful silence about such an aspect of life as intimate relationships. It is not surprising that some women never think of their bodies as a source of sexual pleasure, not to mention purposefully striving for an orgasm. But what more woman knows how her body reacts to sexual arousal, the easier it is for her to quickly reach the pinnacle of pleasure.
The second reason is a whole set of factors that prevent a woman from “turning off her brain.” At the same time, it doesn’t matter to a woman how serious her worries are from an objective point of view. This is a completely “killer” cocktail of worries about a failed work project and an unsuccessful haircut, a quarrel with best friend and loss of umbrella.
How can you get an orgasm?
So, we found out “who is to blame.” Now it remains to answer another eternal question: “What to do?” You can turn to a psychologist or sexologist for help, but for this you need to have a fair amount of courage and self-confidence (as well as a certain amount of money on your bank card). You can give up and continue to pretend, pretending to have an orgasm in bed. Or you can put into practice the tips that we have selected for you in our article.
Make friends with your clitoris
Female orgasm can be vaginal and clitoral. The first is more intense and extensive, but, according to statistics, only every third woman experiences it more often than the clitoral one. Therefore, it is very important to learn how to stimulate the clitoris. You may have heard this more than once, but if you yourself cannot bring yourself to orgasm, then what do you demand from your partner? It's like sending him on a treasure hunt and not giving him a map.
So get comfortable and...start masturbating. Sex in the “solo” version is not only the shortest path to pleasure, but also an opportunity to pay attention only to yourself, without being distracted by satisfying the desires, requests or demands of another person. By concentrating on your sensations, you will quickly understand what gives you pleasure, learn to trust your body and experience various ways achieving orgasm.
Just remember: it’s not enough to just have an orgasm, you need to remember the path to it, so that later you can explain to your man in detail how best to get from point A to point B. “Lower, higher, right, left” is not enough. You need to clearly explain where, how and in what position, and only then will his caresses truly excite you. Alternatively, you can caress yourself while the man is inside you.
Find your sweet spots
Sexual arousal increases with stimulation of erogenous zones, which contain many nerve endings. Stimulation of such points causes the production of the hormone of joy - oxytocin, which is also called the “hormone of love”. The rush of oxytocin increases the intensity and duration of orgasm.
Traditionally, the honorary title of one of the main erogenous zones is female breast. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all what size it is - owners of curvy figures and “zero” size bras react equally positively to breast caresses. Ask the man to stroke your breasts and gently massage your nipples with his fingers or tongue. Another highly sensitive area on a woman’s body is the neck and especially the back of the head. Massage and kissing are the best tactics for stimulating these areas. The inner thighs and buttocks are also very responsive to gentle male caresses.
Every woman has her own treasured points, characterized by unexpected sensitivity: the area of the back between the shoulder blades (the so-called “cat zone”), fingers or toes, ears, etc. Women's erogenous zones located much more individually than men's, which are concentrated mainly in the genital area. What brings pleasure to one woman may be unpleasant to another. Find your individual erogenous zones on your own or with a partner.
Choose a pose and rhythm
Achieving orgasm also depends on the chosen position. Some women get aroused more easily and quickly in the cowgirl position, others with their legs tightly clenched. In some positions the clitoris is stimulated, in others - the vaginal walls. Some positions involve deep penetration of the penis, others - only superficial.
Making love in various poses, you can experience different types orgasm. Search for your own sexual position and do not forget to involve your man in this search. Experiment and fantasize with him. The search may take a while, but it's worth it! The rhythm of your movements can also affect how quickly you orgasm. Slow and smooth or fast and sharp? Try it and you will definitely find your ideal rhythm.
Train your vaginal muscles
Most women don't even think about strengthening their vaginal muscles. And completely in vain. If your vaginal muscles developed enough, you can control them by gripping your man's penis more tightly. This will bring pleasure to both of you, and your orgasm will be more powerful and brighter.
Training the vaginal muscles comes down to making them contract. Alternate periods of tension and relaxation: tense these muscles for ten seconds as if you were trying to hold back urination, then relax. The workout does not require any special preparation or environment. They can be carried out at any time and anywhere. Doing exercises to strengthen the vaginal muscles is also necessary because they improve blood flow in the pelvic organs and serve as an excellent prevention of genitourinary diseases.
Breathe correctly
Proper breathing is also very important. In the dry language of science, orgasm is a series of muscle contractions. The more oxygen enters the body, the stronger the muscles contract and the stronger and longer the pleasure. No, no, don't be afraid, you don't have to inhale and exhale according to a complex mathematical formula. You already know how to breathe. Just do it a little more intensely. Breathe a little faster, inhale a little deeper, exhale a little longer. Don't hold your breath waiting for the climax; excess tension can ruin everything. Breathe with pleasure.
Learn to relax
Relaxation is the key to success. Women are wired differently from men, who can orgasm anywhere and anytime. So, you need to understand what relaxes you. Perhaps it will be vanilla scented candles, a hot bath, a glass of wine or something else. You need to find something that will help you “turn off” your internal monologue - a continuous stream of thoughts about everything in the world. Better listen to your instincts.
The female orgasm is a unique phenomenon. When a woman experiences an orgasm, her activity in those areas of the brain that are responsible for feelings of fear and anxiety immediately decreases. According to doctors' observations, these reactions become so dull that the woman quickly falls into a state similar to nirvana or trance. This causes complete relaxation both during and after intimacy.
The setting also has important to achieve orgasm. Try to find out what really turns you on. Maybe music? Or a certain shade of lighting? Perhaps you would like to try out some kind of love toy? Experiment, look for something that will breathe sensuality into the environment.
Take your time
Your partner is already aroused, but you still don’t feel anything? This does not mean that you are “behind” him. It’s just that most women, in order to experience an orgasm, need a long love foreplay: up to forty-five minutes! Unfortunately, our sexual culture (including ideas about orgasm) is male-oriented and based on the male response to arousal, main principle which: “Quickly! Even faster! Don't become hostage to these stereotypes. Chasing the “perfect” orgasm will not lead to anything good. This is not a standard that must be met at any cost. Women's sexual energy grows and gains strength gradually. So stop counting the minutes and give in completely to how you feel.
Trust your partner
Feel free to discuss how you feel about sex with your man. If you had a good time, be sure to tell him about it. Surely he will be pleased that you find him a desirable and skillful lover. Sincerely praise and thank him for the pleasant sensations he gave you. During intimacy, do not hesitate to express your pleasure from your man’s caresses.
It is even more necessary to talk to a man if you feel that you are not getting any satisfaction from sex. The main thing here is not to stoop to petty quibbles or accusations of sexual incompetence. Men react very painfully to such things. Don't behave like a strict teacher with a careless student: you don't need a partner suffering from an inferiority complex. Explain which caresses bring you the most pleasant sensations, what excites you, and what you are absolutely delighted with. During intimacy, you can help the man with your hand or words.
It can be difficult to talk to a man about your own sexual feelings; for some, it is simply painful to discuss such intimate things with him. But you need to do this: trusting relationship With your partner, knowing that he is willing to listen to your desires, whatever they may be, will help you relax and move closer to the desired orgasm.
Of course, our selection of tips is just basic tips on how to get an orgasm. Learning this is quite realistic and within the capabilities of any woman. Some people will master this science quickly enough, others will need more time. The main thing is to set yourself up for success, listen to your body, freely follow your instincts, do not replace sensations with thoughts and trust the man you love.
In my blog, I am used to giving stern instructions that you should be a little tougher than you are used to.
But in this article I decided to move away from the old good traditions. You will learn how to satisfy a girl using not so much harshness as a well-thought-out technology of stimulation. 
Of course, you can rely on your instincts, spend ten minutes struggling with the bra clasp, pinch painfully a couple of times, and get yours by force. But if your goal is to please your partner, you should listen to slightly different advice.
How to satisfy a girl: 8 important points
- Situation
When your upstairs neighbor is wielding a hammer drill, there is a fight behind the wall, and there is dirt everywhere in your apartment, you won’t be able to satisfy a girl.
If you are already firmly convinced of your attractiveness to her (or have already been in an intimate relationship), then create a romantic atmosphere. Candles, a good dinner, some wine. Play some music that won't distract you but will be a great background. Shouldn't run heavy metal and rock.
If you haven’t had anything with her yet, and you decided to prepare in advance to her satisfaction, then it is unknown how she will react to romantic atmosphere. There is a chance that she will feel tension, expecting your “harassment”. Therefore, you should not “turn on” romance 100% as soon as it crosses the threshold of your home.
- Words
Not . Talk to her a little!
You can use compliments. Leave words about beauty for later. It’s better to praise what your girlfriend is proud of - her intelligence, ability to sing, draw, behave in public, react to anything. These are subtle compliments that men don’t know how to give (for the most part). Just don't talk about how great she is at beating her enemies in the taekwondo section.
Although, for the most part, she won’t care what you whisper - girls perceive emotions more.
- Weasels
Hug her. Fingers, forearms, hair, neck, feet and ankles. The list is long. Over time, move to more intimate places.
Gentle touches will warm up what seems like even the coldest girl. AND will give her much more pleasure than if you immediately rushed into battle, showing his “maleness”.
Hug her from behind by the shoulders and touch her chin to the bottom of her neck. The back of the head contains many erogenous zones. But act gently, don’t go into a painful position!
Also, make sure you know how to kiss properly. Read information on this topic (anything will do).
Small trick: Silk sheets will help you. The touch of silk for a girl is a real caress.
- Breast
For many girls, regular squeezing is simply unpleasant. It’s not worth it, much less pinching (if you’re not sure she likes it :)). Just stroke around them, kiss the valley between the breasts.
- Belly and buttocks
Unfortunately, the buttocks are also poor in erogenous points. There is no point in stroking them; it would be more correct to hug the girl, pressing her tightly to you, holding on to the lower part - that is where the erogenous zone is. On the stomach it is located closer to the sides. Do not squeeze them too much while caressing the belly, this will give the girl more pleasure.
- Let's add a little pressure
Eat Great chance that she will try to refuse you (at least if your relationship is just beginning).
Here it is important to be able to distinguish a negative refusal (up to complete frostbite) from a refusal that is blurted out “for the sake of decency.” If you meet the second one, add pressure. Pretend that you don't hear her refusal and just continue to act.
You may have thought: " And what does her refusal have to do with it if we are talking about satisfaction in sex?" “And at the same time,” I’ll tell you.
If you fail to “break through” her refusal, and you will only have intimacy when she does not refuse you, then she won't get true satisfaction.
Simply put, Sometimes you have to take it.
- Climax
If you did everything correctly, then your girlfriend is completely ready for sex. She's hot and ready to pounce on you! The most important thing is to endure until this moment yourself, (in in a good way words!). Then you will get an unforgettable experience, and you will completely satisfy the girl.
Some tips will help you reach your peak during sex, and not just in preparation for it. Enter her slowly, irregularly. So, so that she cannot predict your actions. The surprise effect will give her more pleasure. Closer to orgasm, try to speed up the rhythm of friction.
Don’t stop at the “missionary” position, but don’t try to twist it into a ram’s horn into a pose from the Kama Sutra. Try the cowgirl position with her on top, but don't lie flat, lift your hips and move in time with her. It will take some time before you satisfy the girl. And during this time you should experiment a little before you find her “G-spot”.
Don't be afraid to look for her erogenous zones: touch one place first, then stroke another. At the very end, don't leave her right away, keep moving for a while, and exit slowly (at otherwise, there may be a feeling of incompleteness).
The girl is not satisfied yet!
No. Not yet. She got great pleasure from sex with you. But to satisfy her, you need to put in a little more effort.
Don't turn to the wall, don't run to smoke. She still needs your attention. Hug her, whisper some sweet nothings in her ear, stroke her hair, run your finger from her temple to her chin. Stay with her!
And don’t ask for compliments yourself, don’t ask if she liked it. If you liked it, she will tell you about it herself. A if you ask, you will show lack of self-confidence.
Here, perhaps, are all the basic rules and tips.
By listening to the above tips, you will greatly increase your chances of satisfying a girl.
Remember one thing: all girls are different. Everyone enjoys it more a certain “set” (or sequence) of your actions and touches. Sex is an activity for two, not one. Don't be shy to find out what she wants. Better yet, experiment silently, carefully monitoring her sensations.
Well, the article “How long without cumming” will increase your chances of her 100% satisfaction.
I know that you came to this blog for knowledge and experience. The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, don’t you agree?
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Some more information on the topic:
4 original way how to ask a girl out on a date
Many men try to do everything possible to make their companions happy. In general, there are 4 basic rules for how to satisfy a woman: you must show respect to her, as well as please, surprise and please.
Satisfaction involves not only sexual contact, it also includes other signs that are aimed at her desires and dreams. Many women dream of being given flowers and gifts not only on holidays, so that they are loved and appreciated. It is worth remembering an expression that is partly true - women love with their ears. Compliments and nice words there will never be too much.
In today's very dynamic world, many women complain that they have stopped receiving from intimate relationships The pleasure is that they are very tired and they simply cannot relax. Men consider themselves guilty of not knowing how to satisfy the woman they love. To cope with this situation, you need to know several secrets and features of the female orgasm.
She comes firstA man should take initiative in bed too. It is important to understand that women need more time to become aroused, which means sex should begin with long and diligent foreplay.
Some ladies may begin to doubt such situations, which will negatively affect her satisfaction. They start thinking about the possibility of getting pregnant, etc. In this case, the man must be patient and persistent, then the woman will calm down and begin to trust you.
You can excite a woman using long and passionate kisses, caresses in intimate places and erogenous zones. To give pleasure to your chosen one, you need to know her body perfectly and study all her sensitive places. You must be a “researcher”, thanks to this you will know how to satisfy a woman. Intimate life in a couple is of great importance, so this issue must be approached with full responsibility.
What is the best way to satisfy a woman?
Many sexologists say that a real man receives true pleasure when he realizes that he was able to satisfy his soulmate. It’s worth starting with preliminary preparation, that is, you should come to a meeting with a woman well-groomed, in clean clothes, smelling good, with flowers or some other small thing. Start with compliments, talk about her appearance, sexuality, etc. This will be perceived by the woman as verbal affection, which will allow her to tune in to closer contact. Now you can move on to the next stage of foreplay.
Ways to satisfy and excite a woman:
It is worth remembering that every girl is individual and this must be taken into account in order to please her. To find out what a lady likes and bring pleasure to, have sex with her more often, since any experience comes after long practice.
What do women themselves think about this? What does “quality of sex” mean to them – is it just its duration?
What to hide - questions “how many times?” and how long?" in frank male conversations they often sound. While the ladies are chattering animatedly about handbags, sales and other cute women's things, their husbands and boyfriends are discussing much more important issues. And the problems of frequency and duration of sexual intercourse are not the last on the list, especially if men are still young and do not plan to leave big sex soon. Basically, of course, they try to “break records” not for the sake of boasting, but to bring maximum pleasure to the woman they love. Has anyone asked the women themselves? How to satisfy a woman in bed? Maybe they don’t need hours of sexual intercourse?
Scientists have found...
Let's start with dry but objective data. It’s not in vain that they eat their bread - there is no need to reinvent the wheel, everything has been calculated long ago. So. For a normal man, sexual intercourse lasts two to three minutes. As for the orgasm itself, it lasts for a man five to ten seconds at most. Sexologist A. Kinsey states: “A man reacting with rapid sexual release, being very far from any pathology, is completely normal among other mammals and completely common among representatives of his own species.”
That's it! Let's add some more time for foreplay (how could we live without it!). It turns out that sexual intercourse normally lasts about ten minutes, and sexologists confirm this: “Prolonged sexual intercourse, lasting more than ten minutes, usually exhausts a man and a woman.” What do sexologists say about the frequency of intimacy? After all, it is known that many representatives of the stronger half of humanity, who fear “male failure” more than anything else, try to reduce the number of sexual acts, believing that in this way they are “protecting” their “male strength.” No and no again! This is a misconception that can lead to the opposite, and very deplorable, effect. We quote: “The duration of sexual intercourse depends on the intervals between them, which is determined by the correlation coefficient between the duration of sexual intercourse (in seconds) and the duration of preliminary sexual abstinence (in days), equal to 0.73.” In other words, be greedy, do not skimp on sex, because the shorter the period of abstinence, the longer the duration of sexual intercourse, and vice versa.
What do women desire
How to find out what duration of sexual intercourse is optimal for your partner, how to satisfy a woman in bed? You won’t ask about this directly! And the point, of course, is not a matter of false modesty - what is natural is not shameful. It’s just that one can hardly expect a frank answer to this question. And in general, can one expect sincerity from the one who for the last five years, when asked about her age, has given the same number and imitates an orgasm with such violent moans that not only those neighbors behind the wall are dying of envy, but also those that they live in the house opposite? Fortunately, there are online forums where representatives of the fair sex share their secrets. Let's see what they like in sex and how to ensure that they do not imitate, but actually experience an orgasm?
This is the information we managed to get. “I don’t love for a long time, then all my feelings become dull... Better more often and faster!” - admits a young lady (22 years old). But here is a very sensible approach: “I would like thirty minutes. Although more realistic, perhaps, is ten to fifteen. But when everything is great, and it seems that you begin to understand what the meaning of life is, who counts the minutes? All men would like such a reasonable partner! But here is confirmation that a woman is ready to adapt to her partner, to play along with him: “One human (a nice synonym for the word “man”, isn’t it? - Author) considered an act lasting forty minutes to be a disgrace for himself. Therefore, any intimacy with us turned, as you understand, into a sex marathon. Good too!" This lady’s partner is truly lucky: apparently, she is not only ready to accept the proposed rules of the game, but is also distinguished by enviable endurance. But basically, please note, ladies prefer not an endless act, reminiscent of a marathon, but several acts, even if not of a record length: “I like three or four times for ten to fifteen minutes. Together with caresses, it takes a total of an hour and a half. Modest and tasteful :).” Really not bad, especially since this corresponds to the advice of sexologists sex life with sufficient frequency.
Main - the right approach
So what kind of sex do women want? Let's not forget that men and women are not creatures at all. similar friend on a friend. And if the question “how to satisfy a woman in bed?” is not an idle question for you, you need to know some nuances female psychology, which we will remind you of.
Rule one. For a woman, sex is a logical continuation of a relationship. If you hurt her during the day, she is unlikely to want to make love to you in the evening. So put off the showdown until the first half of the day, and you’ll see that by the evening you’ll have time to make peace.
Rule two, which everyone seems to know, but at a crucial moment they often forget - a woman loves with her ears. Be kind to her, don’t get tired of telling her how beautiful (beautiful, divine) she is.
Women love romance. And if you can’t rent a yacht with scarlet sails, then you can at least buy a bouquet, choose a plush toy or some other trinket for it. You'll see - she'll appreciate it.
Rule three is also known to everyone. Don't neglect foreplay, especially if your partner is just beginning to discover sensual pleasures. How younger woman, the more important foreplay is for her, because for her the sensual side of love is more important than the physiological one. This, of course, does not mean that if your friend is - experienced woman, then you can skip the foreplay.
Rule four. Don't stop looking for erogenous zones that stimulate your partner. Experienced men know that one woman loves it when they bite her earlobe, another loves it when she strokes her lower abdomen or runs her hand along the spine. In the third, arousal comes from biting or stroking the nipples. Even if you fail to find the notorious G-spot, your efforts will not be in vain.
Rule five says: women no less often, and sometimes even more often than men, do not tolerate monotony in sex. They are ready for experiments, spontaneous sex, new positions and unexpected places. Keep this in mind and don't be afraid to invite your partner to realize your or her wildest fantasies.
A woman is not your hand or a masturbator. You can't use her body to satisfy your needs and then roll over and assume she had a great time too.
Be good lover- means fully investing in the process.
2. Orgasm
A point directly related to the previous one. Sex should not be limited to the male orgasm. If you are unable to do anything after, take care of her pleasure until your finish. After all, if you know for sure that you will get what you want, don’t you really want your partner to get it too?
3. Contraception
It must be understood that, unless otherwise stated, sex implies. Don't act surprised when it comes up, and don't try to get rid of it in the process. At such moments, the love session simply ends.
4. Communication
Sometimes silent sex works. But more often than not, it is words, and not the absence of them, that give a woman pleasure. This particularly applies to situations when a partner asks what she wants.
5. Clean bed
In fact, it is very difficult to relax and enjoy yourself when you are surrounded by clumps of wool, dirt and the smell of unwashed laundry.
6. Prelude
Sex is not a sprint. Well, really, you can spend time learning about each other and mutual enjoyment.
Moreover, if there was an orgasm the only meaning sex, then people would long ago have been doing it only with special toys.
7. No socks
Please take off your socks before getting into bed. After all, the sight of a naked person in socks simply distracts from the process. And besides, it gives rise to a lot of questions in a woman’s head. Should I keep my socks on? Doesn't he love feet? Oh, maybe my legs are terrible?
Anxiety is not the best companion for sex, so just leave your socks out.
8. Realistic Expectations
How many times have they told the world that these are two different realities. But there are still guys who try to repeat what they saw on the screen with an ordinary girl (for example, have spontaneous anal sex). You don't have to do that.
