• What a good lover should know. How an ideal mistress should behave correctly - Psychology

    16.08.2019

    Is it possible to make the man you love dream only about you? How to quickly ignite desire in him and, most importantly, not let it go out? You can master this art!

    You so want to be the one and only for your man, to become ideal lover th and give him a magical feeling. After all, it is so important that in bed you not only give each other pleasure, but also become more and more close and open. How to make every night fabulous? This subtle art can be learned.

    Sensuality in a woman awakens over time. And if you wish, you can develop it. You will have to work on yourself, abandon the usual scenarios of behavior in bed. So, what makes the perfect lover so special?

    1. Enjoys sex. She makes love not at all out of a sense of duty and not in order to keep the “lustful male.” She responds to every touch and is ready to give her partner bold caresses. Attraction cannot be faked: when a man feels that he arouses sincere desire in his girlfriend, this is the best compliment for him.

    2. Loves himself. A real seductress knows her worth and understands how attractive she is. Perhaps a picky critic would consider its proportions far from ideal. But such a woman knows how to emphasize her advantages and presents herself as a gift. She has no doubt that anyone will feel dizzy just because she is nearby. And this confidence is transferred to others. Her partner doesn't have to listen to lamentations about

    3. Takes care of himself. Agree, it’s hard to imagine a sex diva in a stretched terry robe and torn slippers. Certainly. What makes a woman desirable is not intricate lace lingerie or stiletto heels. Just remember that natural smell clear skin, the fresh aroma of hair has a magnetic effect on men.

    4. Knows what he wants. Unlike many young ladies, in bed the ideal mistress does not at all try to reproduce exciting scenes from romance novels or “killer” moments of porn films. Everything is much simpler: she directly asks the man what kind of caresses he dreams of. And in the process, he sensitively reacts to every moan of his partner, movements of his body, rhythm of breathing - that’s why the result is so impressive.

    5. Intriguing. People quickly get used to each other, and the intensity of passions inevitably drops, even if nature has endowed you with a stormy temperament. That’s why it’s so important to be able to awaken your companion’s imagination and tease him. Imagine: today you are a liberated hetaera, and tomorrow you are a laughing graduate of the Institute of Noble Maidens. Next to such a friend, a man will also have to change his role, trying on different images. The game will definitely bring variety to your relationship.

    7. Constantly improving. She is interested in the sexual side of relationships, tries to keep abreast of new trends, and reads quality literature on this topic. Have you ever heard of special exercises for the development and strengthening of intimate muscles? Try to master such gymnastics - and you will experience a completely different range of sensations during sex.

    8. Knows how to carry on a conversation. It just seems that in bed the ability to think is absolutely useless; it is not the head that is required, but completely different organs. The few minutes following the bright ending can bring a couple closer together or, conversely, push lovers away from each other. If, immediately after orgasm, you suddenly tell a relaxed man: “You know, my previous one was more inventive than you,” you are unlikely to leave pleasant memories of yourself. A luxurious woman is distinguished by her ability to remain silent when necessary, and, conversely, to defuse the atmosphere with a joke at the right moment.

    9. Respects his freedom. A self-confident diva is unlikely to bombard her lover with sentimental SMS and fill up his mailbox gentle postcards. No need to make big plans immediately after the first night: a real man will not succumb to pressure and will not want to become a victim of manipulation.

    10. Admires a man. Next to his ideal lover, he feels like a real hero. Emphasize how good you feel in the company of your partner! Let him feel like a champion in bed and more. Who would voluntarily give up such a sensitive and understanding friend?

    Try to get rid of complexes. tightness, forget about the sexual stereotypes that were instilled in you from your youth. Each couple develops their own rules of behavior in bed and determines the standards of decency. decides what is permissible in sex and what is strictly prohibited. And this can only be achieved through experience. So get creative and experiment! Listen sensitively to your body, follow its reactions - it will not deceive you. And, of course, be sincere with your partner, only under this condition can you truly understand and feel each other.

    The explanatory dictionary defines the meaning of the word “mistress” as a woman who is in an intimate relationship with a man, but not in an official marriage. Of course, a girl in this position is subject to slightly different requirements than a wife. For example, she may not have extraordinary culinary skills, and she may not be expected to be deeply involved in serious matters or be able to conduct highly intelligent conversations. As a rule, it all comes down to passion, which the passion must constantly kindle and maintain. So what should it be good lover? Let's look at this with male point vision, let's try to reveal all the secrets, figure out how to behave so that his interest does not fade away.

    The ideal lover through the eyes of a man

    Numerous surveys and studies prove- What is most valued in a partner is sexuality, confidence, and the ability to present oneself correctly. What other qualities, according to the stronger sex, should an ideal lover have?

    1. Uninhibited in sex. It’s not for nothing that I highlight this point as the very first. Naturalness, the desire to give and receive pleasure are particularly attractive and captivating.
    2. Well-groomed and “dear”. Lady in spectacular, beautiful underwear automatically becomes more attractive and excites the imagination.
    3. Initiative. Remember, no one is interested in uninitiated ladies. You will quickly understand how to drive your lover crazy, if you yourself offer something unusual, showing that you are trying to diversify the relationship. Using trial and error, find out his preferences in intimacy.
    4. Mysterious. It’s not for nothing that they say that a woman should have a mystery, and in a relationship- intrigue. Periodically giving your chosen one a little shake-up is useful. But! This does not mean that you need to turn off your phone for a week and ignore calls. Just try to make him a little jealous and nervous. Such emotional outbursts enhance both passion and emotional connection.
    5. Ready for experiments. A woman should support in all endeavors (this also applies to intimacy), and also be ready for new discoveries.
    6. Respects his freedom. Annoying calls and constant messages will not lead to anything good. A man needs personal space, and touching sms with questions: “Where are you now?” and “When will you arrive?” can only make you angry.
    7. Pays attention to health. Do not neglect contraceptives and regular visits to the gynecologist, because, taking care of your physical condition, you show respect to your lover.
    8. She always remains herself, does not remain silent if she doesn’t like something. A woman should talk about things that bring her pleasure. Silence scares the partner and he begins to think that he is doing something wrong. Mutual understanding, as well as frank dialogue, are important components of a strong union.

    An experienced mistress knows that men do not accept commercialism, so she knows how to play in contrast. This is very effective method. The author still shocks gentlemen by not allowing them to pay for themselves. At first, they are at a loss, wondering if they have hit on a feminist, but then they gladly call for a second date, because they realize that she will not require large investments.

    These are just the basic qualities that, according to men, a chosen one should have. To understand how to behave correctly with your lover, you need to learn to feel him and be on the same wavelength with him.

    Rules of conduct and secrets of the ideal lover

    Are you wondering how to be a good lover for a man? Then take a few useful rules. By observing them, you can be sure that your loved one will not allow the thought of searching for a new object of his desires. Let's sort it out in order. So, the ideal lover:

    • knows exactly what the partner wants;
    • knows how to surprise a lover;
    • gives a lot, asks for nothing in return;
    • does not behave intrusively, does not control;
    • does not pose a tough choice, testing feelings for strength;
    • does not complain, is not capricious;
    • does not put himself above, does not point out shortcomings;
    • knows how to forgive, forgets mistakes;
    • does not teach life;
    • values ​​communication.

    Now let's look at the important aspects of relationships from a psychological point of view and reveal the main secrets of a good lover:

    1. Don't make your partner feel guilty. This is a serious management tool, but not everyone knows how to use it correctly. Manipulation often leads to separation.
    2. Don't try to hold him as a child - bad idea.
    3. Don't control. A man wants to feel free, and not be accountable for every step.
    4. Don't start a showdown with your legal wife. Attempts to assert yourself and show that they chose you can serve as a catalyst for a breakup. Please note that in such a situation you will lose more than you gain.
    5. Give up hysterics and showdowns, because next to you he is looking for peace and harmony.
    6. To understand how to deal with married lover, remember that sex does not always play a primary role. For such a partner, you will have to be a psychologist and adviser, listen to complaints about misunderstandings and quarrels with your wife, and provide moral support.
    7. Keep secrets. Happiness loves silence, so there is no point in trumpeting at every corner about a “forbidden” connection.

    In conclusion, to all of the above, I would like to add that any woman who is concerned about the question: “How to become a good lover?” should learn to be silent and listen more, and prefer languid sighs to boring phrases and moralizing. Also, one should not forget about a well-groomed appearance ( stylish hairstyle, lace lingerie, stockings, high-heeled shoes). All this together will make you simply irresistible.

    Every woman wants to find that “magic pill” that will allow her to find out all the secrets of her ideal lover. But, unfortunately, such tablets have not yet been invented. Therefore, you have to learn everything from your own experience and from books. But we will try, nevertheless, to collect all the advice of psychologists and find out: how to become an ideal lover?

    There's an age for everything

    It is very important to understand that opportunities depend on your age. A young girl does not need to know for sure where a man’s “buttons” are located, by pressing which she will make him fall in love with her for the rest of his days. And absolutely adult woman There is no need to pretend to be inexperienced innocence, as this will be completely out of place.

    Perhaps the most the best option remained and remains - to be herself. Of course, not without tricks. But still.

    What men really want

    In fact, be that as it may, a man always wants to see him next to him throughout his life. a real woman who can become his wife and mother to his children. And no matter how passionate and crazy his mistress is in bed, if these qualities (in his opinion) are not in her, then nothing can be done about it.

    It is really important for men that their home is always comfortable. The concept of “comfort” includes not only a clean floor and a delicious hot dinner. Coziness is both mutual understanding and comfort. Today there are a huge number of jokes about the fact that women often “stress” men with constant questions, jealousy, and inexplicable and stupid tricks. So, the latter is something they definitely don’t need.

    Every man wants to feel supported and be sure that he will be understood and not betrayed. It is extremely important for them that a woman respects them. The man is the head, the woman is the neck. No male representative will tolerate attempts to change him for long. If he is already an adult and accomplished, then he will demand to be accepted for who he is. No? Most likely, you will face the fact that he will simply disappear from your life.

    It is very important for the woman herself to assess in time whether she can be with a particular man and accept him like that. If not, and an irresistible desire arises to “break” him, then it is better not to start a relationship at all. With this approach they will not lead to anything serious.

    In an already established relationship, the level of trust matters for any man. It just so happens that you can’t always get revelations from your beloved. The stronger sex is not inclined to tell everything, especially if they do not want to appear weak in front of a woman. If you have any questions, please wait. the right moment and ask them. Patience is important here. But it’s absolutely not worth reading messages on his phone, asking about what he had about every acquaintance.

    It is very important for any man to succeed. If he has not yet done everything he strived for, then he needs sincere support from a woman, and not criticism and reproaches regarding his actions. It often happens that, having not achieved sufficient success and having chosen a woman “not up to his level,” at the moment he realizes the difference between the partners, he leaves. No man can be with someone who is stronger and more independent than him in everything. You need to remember that no matter what you are, the main thing for your chosen one is to feel that he is a protector.

    At the same time, sitting on a man’s neck is also not a good idea. Anyone would like to see someone nearby who is developing and revealing her own potential. Yes, he is a breadwinner. Yes, she is the keeper of the hearth. But not a stupid fool with pouting lips. These, as a rule, become a temporary option, an intermediate point. No one has denied the presence of intelligence.

    Rules for the ideal lover

    1. The ideal lover is good during night conversations, in the kitchen and, of course, in bed. We'll talk about the bed a little later. In the meantime, let’s look at what, outside of this intimate space, a woman needs to focus on in order to become an ideal lover.
    2. A man needs more than just sex. Sometimes he just needs to talk. If you do not match his level of intelligence and cannot carry on a conversation, say too much nonsense, then he will desire you less. Clever woman always makes me more excited! But not the one who constantly shows that she is smarter. And the one who knows the measure of everything and does not emphasize her own superiority over a man.
    1. Share his interests. The ideal lover knows exactly about her man’s hobbies, supports him and, in her free moments, reads literature about his favorite football team, the latest political news or historical facts from the First World War.
    2. For every person, his personal space is important. Men attach great importance to their own freedom and really do not want it to be limited. So don't be clingy or try to control your partner. This will only irritate him! If you're really interested, just ask him over dinner about his day. What a man deems necessary, he will tell
    3. The ideal lover is a mystery. If you tell your partner everything, you will push him away. It is important for him that every time he discovers something new in you. And under no circumstances tell him about your past relationships. It’s better to carefully avoid answering such questions or lie with a naive smile that it’s your first. Well, maximum - the second.
    4. Copy your partner's gestures and facial expressions. Of course, in moderation! It has long been known that this the right way to win over any person. Especially a partner.
    5. Have good taste. It is very important to dress beautifully without going overboard and according to your age. In fact, men pay attention to how a woman is dressed. And the more aesthetically pleasing and attractive her image, the more attractive she is.
    6. There is no need to constantly put a man before a choice, forcing him to do what only you want. This will only make him angrier and move away from you.
    7. And, of course, there is no need to pressure your lover to say three cherished words. He will do it exactly when he considers it necessary. As Carlson told Baby: “Patience! Just patience!”
    8. There is no commercialism. This only scares men away. They don't want to be used. Yes, it is important for them to take care of the woman. But this concern should not go beyond any reasonable boundaries.
    9. And, of course, next to the ideal lover, her partner feels like a real knight. He clearly sees that her eyes glow with happiness even in pitch darkness, which makes his desire to do something for her stronger.

    How to become an ideal lover in bed?

    In order to attract your man you need to get true pleasure in bed. This factor depends on how strong emotions your partner evokes in you and how much you love yourself.

    For sex to be truly good for both of you, you need to learn to enjoy the process. Don't obsess over what kind of underwear you're wearing. Has your man ever said: “You know, you’re wearing such ugly underwear. Let's leave this matter for another time!"? Hardly. The same goes for yours excess weight, an ugly scar and other internal complexes. The better you treat yourself, the more your man will desire you.

    And you certainly don’t need to fake an orgasm. Better ask him to try something new in bed that turns you on. It is just as important for men to be sincere in sex as it is for women. They really want to be absolutely sure that their woman got real pleasure and is not pretending.

    Another important point- this is embarrassment. You definitely need to get rid of it. Don’t be shy to be the first to make contact, create moments of foreplay and even pester and flirt. You may think this is unnecessary. Perhaps in relationships outside of bed - yes. But in the space of sheets and blankets this is still welcome.

    In general, complexes put a lot of pressure on a woman and prevent both of them from receiving pleasure. We need to get rid of them. If you want to love yourself and stop worrying about your figure when you change your posture, then love yourself for who you are. But don’t stop taking care of your appearance. Go to the gym, get a manicure and pedicure, moisturizing and cleansing masks, intimate haircut. Perhaps your man will not refuse you if you forget to shave your legs and do your hair. But what better image, the stronger the desire.

    Having managed to love yourself, you should not forget about the desires of your partner. The ideal lover knows exactly what he wants. Moreover, it is not always possible to figure this out through practice. Sometimes you just have to ask and get an answer. Men never hide their secret fantasies and preferences if they know that his girlfriend will support most of the ideas.

    By the way, scientists have proven that the more often a woman praises her man and showers him with compliments, the better their relationship in bed. And sex itself happens more often. Tell him that today he is simply magnificent in his blue suit and, of course, praise how he was in bed. Tell us often what you liked most and in what moments your partner excited you the most. He will definitely take this into account!

    Issues of conquering the opposite sex have always been and will be relevant. What tricks do women go to in order to attract, win and retain a particular man? It turns out that everyone does this with varying degrees of success. What's the secret? There are actually a lot of them, we bring to your attention the express instructions “How to become an ideal lover.”

    It all starts with a special attitude...

    What is the most important thing for a man in a woman? Appearance? Not at all! How many beauties face old age alone or suffer in their youth from the absence of the one and only one in their lives. A man will at least stay for a long time next to the woman with whom he is comfortable and interested. You will never find the answer to the question: “How to become an ideal lover?” - if you don’t learn to understand men. To do this, it is enough to listen to your partner and try to pass everything you hear through yourself. Learn to feel a man too. Without this nothing will work. Guess his mood: sometimes it is necessary to support, in other situations it will be enough to simply remain silent, but show your interest. When a relationship is just beginning, learn to change your behavior strategies. And one more piece of advice - ideal woman has no problems. You can ask a man for help and advice, but constantly complaining in vain and burdening him with your problems is by no means worth it. On the contrary, you need to be more positive and calm - always demonstrate the joy of meetings and the absence of any troubles in your own life.

    How to become an ideal lover in bed?

    Intimacy is a significant component of relationships. It’s worth starting with yourself - even if appearance is not the main thing, you shouldn’t forget about grooming. You should also definitely purchase several sets of erotic lingerie and some accessories. But with preparation appearance When it comes to love games, it is important not to overdo it: your partner is unlikely to like it if during foreplay he constantly clings to jewelry or you are constrained by uncomfortable underwear, in this situation, all desire may disappear. As for sex, all the advice from an ideal lover comes down to being relaxed and ready to try everything new. There is no shame in not being able to do anything; the situation will be saved by the desire to try new positions, types of caresses, and maybe even some toys for adults with your partner.

    I want to become perfect in everything!

    The best lover should share the interests of her chosen one, but do not forget about your own initiative. Arrange something unusual, try to give a man such impressions and memories that he has never had with any woman before. And this is what you should do in all areas; the answer to the question of how to become an ideal lover is to be better than all the women around you in everything. If meetings at least sometimes take place on your territory, be sure to maintain comfort and cleanliness in the apartment. Learn to cook deliciously or at least regularly offer your partner drinks depending on the time of day and season. Take care of your chosen one in everything, starting with the most insignificant details, and he will definitely appreciate it.

    Popular wisdom says that a woman should be a caring mother in the nursery, a friendly hostess in the kitchen and a passionate lover in the bedroom. And the first, and the second, and the third can be learned. But while we still agree to learn the basics of cooking or home economics, we categorically refuse to study sexual science. “Women's Passions” suggests throwing away all stereotypes and trying to become the ideal lover for your man.

    “You are not a woman! You are an exception!

    Everyone who has been seduced wants to seduce himself.
    Marlene Dietrich

    First you need to answer the question: “What is she like, an ideal lover?” What attracts her? And why do many men believe that a bad mistress is a hundred times better than a good wife?

    1. So, the ideal lover knows exactly what her partner wants . She knows how best to caress him and what to say. Of course, this knowledge does not fall on her “from the sky”; she achieves it through long conversations “about it”.

    The mistress radiates desire, and therefore becomes an object of sexual attention for people of the opposite sex. She does not have sex “for company,” but with pleasure and joy. She is an uninhibited woman and boldly tries new positions and new places.

    2. She is well-groomed, charming, brave. Enough smart , it’s not for nothing that history has brought to us the parable of Napoleon. Once he asked his adjutant to find him a lady for the night, who must be smart. “For mercy, sir, why does a woman need a lot of intelligence in bed?” - he was perplexed. “And who will I talk to during the breaks?” - Bonaparte replied.

    Magnificent lovers were Cleopatra and Josephine, Lilya Brik and the Marquise de Pompadour. You can read their biographies at your leisure and try to imagine yourself in the place of one of these great women.

    3. A mistress allows a man to feel like a real macho, and he, in turn, gives her the incomparable feeling of a seductress. Therefore, such connections, as a rule, are long-lasting - no one wants to break such a successful union.

    4. A mistress differs from a wife in that she considers a man a holiday - while for his wife it has long become commonplace. With his mistress, a man finds himself again: he becomes the smartest, sexiest, passionate and generous.

    Here's what Lilya Brik said about this: “We need to convince a man that he is wonderful or even brilliant, but that others do not understand this. And allow him what they don’t allow him at home. For example, smoke or travel wherever you want. They'll do the rest good shoes and silk linen." It was to her that men said: “You are not a woman, you are an exception.”

    Do you want to be the “exception” for your man? Tired of routine sex? Then on to the next chapter!

    From the dance of shaking knees to self-confidence

    You can escape from a tiger, from an earthquake or a typhoon,
    but not from a woman who decided to take possession of you.
    Jewish proverb

    Much has been written about the art of seduction, which a mistress must master perfectly. Some advise you to dance a striptease, in others - to visit a sex shop, in others - to watch a porn film. You can try all this, but now we will focus on something else.

    No matter how wonderful the idea is, striptease can turn into a dance of shaking knees, and watching pornography can turn into humiliating copying of poses (often backbreakingly acrobatic). This must be avoided at all costs. Your main assistant on the path to the ideal lover is self-love.

    5. Need to love yourself unconditionally and selflessly, once and for all. Try going to the mirror and saying to the reflection: “I love you.” Does not work? Ashamed? It's okay, it will pass. After a week or two of hard training, this phrase will seem easy, and you will feel like a geisha: mysterious, inaccessible, “a thing in itself.”

    6. Next step - love your body . Understand that model parameters“90-60-90” is not an end in itself in life, and an ideal figure will not bring happiness on its own. You need to love your breasts, your hips and your hair. Think about it: would you love your man if he was disgusted by his torso? I'm sure not. You need to learn how to treat your body from men - they are happy with what they have and do not have complexes about or without reason.

    7. Yours eyes should glow , as if you are filled (and so it is!) with some kind of internal energy and strength. Those eyes are captivating. Imagine that there is a fire burning inside you, and don’t forget about it when you shop, walk, take a shower. Remember that the ideal lover radiates desire - so you try to “radiate” something.

    These three simple steps will give you confidence and relaxation. After you have passed them, you can proceed directly to seduction.

    "Thank you" for every night of love

    Secrets of the ideal lover

    When your husband finishes eating, do not let him go to bed before you.
    You need to get there first in order to invite him.
    He must understand that you are finally ready for him.
    Leave only a small bandage on your hips, the most beautiful one,
    and always wear pearls at your waist - they are needed for seduction.
    And then, when everything happens, you can ask him for the moon:
    he will go looking for it for you!

    Khadi

    8. The ideal lover is not only well-versed in matters of sex, she also knows how to create a special atmosphere. In ancient treatises, attention was paid to everything: dinner, incense or aromatic oils, environment, clothing.

    These details play a very important role. Creating an atmosphere means creating the mood for the entire evening . Try experimenting with lighting: a red lamp instead of a regular one can turn the evening into a volcano of passions.

    Hang it in the bedroom and place it on the floor and large beds erotic photos (can be from your archive), and if there are none, then buy an erotic album. You can look at the "before" or "during" photos. Either way, they will fulfill their role and fuel your passion.

    Meet your man in a negligee, but with some erotic detail : This could be a long string of beads around your neck or a rose in your hair. Before this, warn him with a call or SMS about a surprise of a sexual nature. This is especially necessary if your man is a big conservative.

    9. Surprise a man an unusual dinner. If earlier you ate hastily and semi-finished products, now prepare full-fledged snacks and salads. Sparkling wine is welcome, but in reasonable quantities. Experiment with tequila - you can lick the salt from anywhere. The main thing is not to overdo it with alcohol.

    10. If everything goes as it should, then your man will get turned on very quickly. Your task - stretch out the pleasure for a long time. During sex, take a break, rest, change positions. You can even talk, but not about household chores and especially not about world news, but about sensations and feelings. Finally, tell us where you should be stroked, touched, pinched and what you get pleasure from.

    11. After the peak, gently hug your one and tell him “thank you” for this night of love.

    12. After such an “outbreak,” even old relationships flare up with renewed vigor. However the ideal lover does not stop there - she experiments with a man . Of course, you won’t be able to do this every night (and you don’t need to, it will quickly become commonplace), but from time to time you need to pamper yourself and your loved one!

    Yana YANOSHEWSKAYA

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