What to choose - family or career? A little advice for women. Why you need to choose career or family. Or not necessary

For many business people today, questions arise: what is more important, family or career, how to combine them, and is it even possible to do this? Every successful person thinks about this problem at least once a day, but just as many people have as many opinions.
Is it really possible to combine family and career? In the 21st century, humanity has a completely different concept of both family and career than, say, Soviet citizens had. More and more trendy foreign words began to pour into the Slavic lexicon, which, in fact, turned the worldview of the younger generation about career and family upside down. Teenagers at school answering teachers’ questions “What do you want to become?” they say: oligarchs, oil tycoons, top managers, etc. The priority of young people is to make a career, and the concept of family fades into the background, but then after, say, ten years, they have not achieved what they wanted in their work, that is, without becoming a follower of Donald Trump , Jack Welch, Warren Buffett or Roman Abramovich, a person switches to the second thing - to family, and here it’s also a bummer, for example, your beloved Pebble from the 8th grade with whom you wanted to spend your whole life and have at least three children (but, of course , after reaching the highest step on the career ladder), unexpectedly finds herself married to the very son of Donald Trump. And then the person loses both his family and his career.
There is no need to be fanatical about your career, that is, leaving home at six in the morning and returning at twelve at night with the only desire to collapse into bed and fall asleep. In this way you can only achieve chronic fatigue, eternal nervousness and ultimately, like imprisonment, divorce and loss of family. There must be moderation in everything.
You can achieve an idyll by combining family and career, but this combination must be harmonious, like yin and yang; I am talking about the fact that the wife must support her husband, be his adviser and abbess, and in turn, the husband must not forget about the woman’s interests and give opportunities for her self-realization and not be afraid of the possible success or even superiority of her wife. After all, a career largely depends on the well-being of the family, namely a friendly atmosphere between spouses. After all, when everything is wonderful in the house and you good mood then the enthusiasm to work and earn money appears in order to spend it on people dear to you.
Family is an integral element of a career, since it is very difficult to achieve success alone, and relatives will always sincerely help, advise and push when necessary. Many famous people in their endless interviews they have repeatedly insisted that they owe their success precisely to their wives or husbands who expressed support in everything, for example, former ex-US President Al Gore, ex-President of the Czech Republic Vaclav Havel, English millionaire Richard Bergson and the also famous foreign singer Madonna.
Thus, in response to such actual question Nowadays, I would like to conclude that while pursuing a career, one should not forget about family, because these concepts should be interconnected and not interfere with each other. And most importantly, you need to maintain harmony and know moderation in everything, both in relationships in the family and at work.

Is the speech delivered correctly? What changes need to be made?

Modern women suffer from “split personality”. One person is drawn to love and creating a family, while the other, like a tank, rushes towards a career. And now comes the moment of choice: one of the “personalities” must be removed.

You are at the crossroads of two roads: you will take one, but it will be too late to turn to the second. Let's figure out together what is more important to you: family or career, setting priorities. Let’s also think about whether there is a third way.

Ideas about one of the roads: career or family

In our society we are used to harshly exaggerating, condemning or praising everything. And this is what it roughly looks like:

A woman left her career and chose family

She will definitely get into it:

Stops developing. All her knowledge will be focused on the quality of cleaning powders, floor cleaning products and culinary recipes.

Gives birth to a bunch of children. She will communicate with exactly the same assholes like her, and all conversations will be focused on diapers, baby food and the amount of benefits.

No entertainment. Only trips to the shops and the playground. And if you’re lucky that the children all fell asleep at once, you can surf the Internet.

All day long such a woman will cook, clean, fuss with the children and wait for her husband to get home from work. And he will come, devour, regurgitate dinner and go to bed. What is happiness, sister?

The woman did not start a family for the sake of a career

It will become stale and dry. Numbers instead of heart, money instead of soul. Nothing humane.

People will hate her. Some will be jealous of her financial status, while others will be enraged by her character. Especially subordinates.

There will be nothing feminine about her. Men will avoid such a lady and be afraid. And an unloved woman without sex is always a bitch.

And so she will come to her empty apartment, drink tea alone at night and only relax in bed and sob into her pillow. What is happiness, sister?

How to dispel these stereotypes

Everyone chooses for themselves. When choosing between love and career, it is difficult to force an adult and reasonable person to do anything specific. U free woman She also has her own choice, and she makes it in favor of personal preferences (if wisely):

• gives birth as much as she wants;
• has fun as she pleases;
• chooses a profession to his liking;

This is where her happiness lies. But when the whining starts: “I’m tired, I’m sick of the children’s noise, my husband doesn’t help with anything!”, or this: “I’m tired, I have no personal life, work is hell, men don’t love me!” - this is already shocking. I would like to ask:

Who forced you to break yourself in the first place? Your choice was made at a conscious age. The children, of course, are out of the question, but it would be worth thinking about contraception. But it would not be worth breaking yourself under the pressure of a career, for the sake of no one knows. It’s also good to be subordinate, but free.

Reasonable women, when making a choice, do not “print” children like crazy, and do not blow their minds at work. Moderation in choice is the main thing. Both the careerist and the housewife need at least some kind of freedom, as well as time for entertainment and personal life. It is precisely because of the “fanatics” that such stereotypes arise.

What are your inclinations: family life or career?

Let’s conduct a kind of test with you, and you will “get to know” yourself by checking the boxes on the statement that is close to you:

When family is closer to you:

1. I grew up in affection, kindness and prosperity.
2. I have younger brother(sister) whom I adore.
3. My father is the best in the world.
4. I have an easy-going, compassionate and calm character.
5. I have always been touched by children, even strangers, I understand their feelings.
6. I don't mind noise, I can fall asleep with it.
7. I need comfort around me.
8. I am diligent and love handicrafts.
9. I like to spend holidays at home.
10. I have no big company, but only a few girlfriends.
11. I need a man - his support and affection.
12. The main thing is wealth in the family, not easy money.
13. I'm afraid of absolute silence and darkness alone.
14. I love cooking complex dishes and always improve them.
15. I am a kinesthetic person, I love to feel everything soft and tender.
16. I am not selfish and would rather give than take.

When your career is closer:

1. Childhood was difficult, but the family did not give up.
2. It's hard to name the father good dad or it wasn't there at all.
3. I studied with pleasure, science was easy for me.
4. I get tired of other people's children, I rather tolerate them than be touched by them.
5. It's not difficult for me to just be friends with men.
6. I can resolve any issue with higher authorities.
7. I like being an authoritarian businesswoman.
8. My wardrobe contains more formal suits than evening dresses.
9. I prefer sport style rather than romantic.
10. I love cleanliness, but I hate doing it.
11. Sometimes men with their “cockroaches in their heads” infuriate me.
12. I am interested in delving into everything new in my profession.
13. I can lead a large team.
14. I don't communicate very closely with my family.
15. Money can buy everything - even health and love.
16. I am infuriated by the “laying women” sitting with their brood within four walls.

Now count which test you have the most ticks on. If the number is equal, then you are seriously tossing between love and career, and you cannot decide which path to take. But if some test “outweighs” and is littered with ticks, then there is no comment.

Don't listen to anyone - listen to your heart

Among the older generation, especially among the relatives of a young girl, there is often active propaganda for giving up a career in favor of the family. This is clear even from the toasts at the wedding: “More children! Be a wonderful housewife!” You can understand them - grandmothers want grandchildren, and in their understanding the family should be like the old fashioned way: the wife smells of pies, and the husband smells of money.

But why were all these races needed then: study, baby, rely only on yourself, get an education! I sat, crammed, unlearned, and what was it all for? To smell like pies? After all, if you now settle for a long time at the bottom of your apartment with pregnancy and childbirth, and not even just one, then all this science will disappear from your head! And there will be no experience!

Therefore, if you no longer need advice, think about what will be to your heart:

But is it always necessary to be so principled in your life: “either - or”. Is it really impossible to find and choose golden mean? Of course, it is possible and even necessary!

How to find a middle ground between love or career

While you are still young, it is better to start at least some kind of relationship with men, and not just sink your teeth into textbooks. But everything must be done measuredly so as not to miss a single chance for happiness either in your personal life or career.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes in your personal life and don’t rush down the aisle. Live with your chosen one for at least some time in a civil marriage to be sure that this is your person who understands you.

Even if you're married, don't rush to have children. Once you've graduated, gain experience. But if you already become pregnant, try to at least improve your qualifications in absentia. Courses, master classes and self-education can help you.

Even one child in a family is already a full-fledged family when you raise him with your husband. And don’t listen to these jokes: “If you have a nanny, you also need a doll!” This is all nonsense - love for children is measured not in their number, but in how desirable they are.

Thanks to the golden mean, you don’t have to be torn between two roads. Instead, you will walk between them, along the smooth path you have trodden. This is happiness, sister!

What is more important for a woman: work or family - today it is main question. Modern women are becoming more and more involved in their careers and paying less and less attention to family. No matter how sad it may sound, it is true. Statistics provide deplorable data: currently 60–65% of young women give preference to a career. Moreover, 10–15 years ago women after 40 years of age aspired to success in their careers, but nowadays young girls who have just received a professional education dream about a career. This article will help you understand what is better, according to women, and is it possible to combine family and career?

What is more important for a woman - career or family?

First, let's look at all the pros and cons of being a career woman. Modern woman in most cases, he gives preference to a career, which is becoming very popular today. Moreover, this fashion came from Europe, where in the mid-20th century the issue of feminism became acute. The signs of a careerist are:

1. Complete independence, which women believe a good career can give.
2. A feminist will never make concessions to a man, even in work.
3. She decides for herself what she needs and does not feel obligated to anyone.

That is why many representatives of the fair sex today prefer a career. They don’t want to be obligated to anyone in their life: neither their husband, nor their children.

If her is important to a girl professional activity, and she has a husband, it is necessary that he understands and supports her. IN otherwise, constant scandals will begin in the family and, most likely, divorce in this case is inevitable.

Having made a choice in favor of a career, a family woman, without realizing it, creates a lack of attention, love and care for her children and husband. She gradually moves away from her family. Undoubtedly, many men appreciate independent women and treat housewives with some condescension, but none of them imagines a feminist in the role of their wife. A man loves to be cared for and loved, but he does not accept coldness and lack of attention.

But the maternal instinct and the role of the keeper of the hearth, intended for women by nature, have not atrophied in everyone modern girls. There are also representatives of the fair sex who consider family to be a woman’s main career.

Very often, career women, having achieved everything they wanted in their lives, begin to understand that the most important thing in their lives was never there - family. This most often happens after the age of forty. Having retired, they realize that there is no loved one, who will love you not for your excellent work and excellent performance, but for the fact that you simply exist.

The psychologist's advice is quite simple: before you make your choice, you need to understand yourself and your inner world, understand what is needed for happiness. This is necessary so that you don’t regret your choice later.

Is it possible for a woman to combine career and family?

This discussion can go on for a long time, citing positive and negative sides both career and family. But there are situations when a woman does not have such a choice. This happens because she needs to work to help her husband support his family. In this case, a woman has to adapt to circumstances and learn to combine work and caring for loved ones. There are several tips to help cope with this situation:

1. Learn to distribute responsibilities. In order for a wife to have the opportunity to work and earn money, she needs help. Having made this decision, calmly discuss with your husband what responsibilities around the house he can take on.
2. Use your working time wisely. Organize your work process in such a way that you can spend time after work only with your family. All yours job responsibilities try to do it during working hours so that your husband and children do not suffer because of it.
3. Separate home and work. At work, not a word about home, and at home, not a word about work. Free evenings and dedicate your weekends only to your loved ones, and try to forget work moments from your mind.
4. If at one point you start earning more than your spouse, then do not reproach him in any way. On the contrary, show him that you have reached your heights by relying on him. Be grateful for the help given to you, but do not humiliate your dignity.
5. Show an active interest in your children's activities and hobbies. Sometimes you need to sacrifice career growth for the sake of the people closest to you in the world. Remember that no amount of money or the most expensive toys can replace maternal affection and warmth.
6. Do not deprive your husband of your attention, who also needs love and affection. Try to set aside time that you can spend together, even if it’s just having breakfast together in bed.
7. Don't take on overtime work, it will take you away from your loved ones.

Video on the topic of the article

There comes a time in every woman's life when she is faced with a choice - career or family. Of course, there are women who know how to combine both, but it is very difficult to determine how well they do it, and, while achieving career success, whether problems arise at home at the same time. Therefore, before making a choice, it is very important to weigh the pros and cons and try to find a compromise. This will help you honestly answer the question of what you are willing to sacrifice, family or career.

What is more important, career or family?

Now more and more women want to realize themselves in the professional field and make a career. If earlier this trend was observed among women who had reached the age of 40, now very young girls who have graduated from institutes or technical schools strive for this. But sometimes, having reached career heights or become disillusioned with their work, they are left alone, sometimes destroying their family, but more often without creating one. To make the right choice and avoid loneliness, you should set all your priorities from the very beginning of your career race. After all, often a woman who stubbornly strives to make a career simply could not improve her personal life at some point, directing her energy in a different direction.

According to surveys, it is by the age of 40 that most women begin to regret their chosen career. If, after getting married, a girl does not want to give up her career, it is necessary that her husband supports her choice, otherwise she will have to give up either her family or her career. It’s better to give up a career anyway, because the concept of careerism is unusual for any woman; this applies to a greater extent to men. A woman’s nature does not include the role of a director and manager, but rather the role of a keeper of the hearth, never real woman will not fight for a place in the sun with tough men.

When choosing a career while having a family, a woman cannot fully give her children her love, attention, affection and care. Children do not receive the warmth they need, which directly affects their development and very often in a negative way. In addition, a career is not always a carefully weighed choice, but simply helps any person, not just women, to feel their own importance.

In pursuit of career heights, one should not forget that not only success in the professional field is important in this world. Work plays an important role in our lives, it helps us to realize ourselves, to show all our abilities, to develop best qualities and skills. But every woman is destined by nature itself to become a happy wife, a loving mother and a caring daughter. Only the inability to make the right choice and allocate time prevents you from achieving this to the fullest.

The main advice of psychologists is that a woman should learn to feel herself, understand what she wants at the moment, so as not to regret her choice later. Separately, I would like to mention that if you have made a career, but are still single, you should not despair. Until a worthy man appears in your life, it is better to start building a career, and as soon as this meeting takes place, direct all your energy to your family.

How to combine career and family

Sometimes it is not just the desire to make a career that forces a woman to work, but also the banal lack of funds for a full-fledged existence; not all husbands can provide for the family. In such a situation, there is no longer a problem of choice; if a woman values ​​her husband, she can only learn to combine work and family.

• Distributing responsibilities between husband and wife will help reduce the burden on a woman and give her the opportunity to successfully climb the career ladder if she strives for it. Therefore, talk about which of you will be responsible for what.
• Try to distribute responsibilities at work in such a way that household chores and, most importantly, your loved ones do not suffer because of it. Using numerous techniques to rationally distribute working time and responsibilities, this is quite possible. Organize your workspace, both at work and at home, so as to save time on various operations.
• Don’t take your work home and don’t discuss work issues all evening, spend time free time and weekends only for family. Learn to separate work and home.
• To avoid problems, if you earn more than your husband and he shows dissatisfaction, try to create conditions for your husband professional growth and an atmosphere that will make him feel that he remains a full-fledged owner in the house, despite your successes. It’s even better if you let him know that only thanks to his support, help, good advice and faith in you, you have reached such career heights. Remind often that all your successes at work are a shared achievement, but don’t over-praise.

• Remember, workaholism and the desire to make a career are incompatible.
• Don't sacrifice your time with your children. Gifts, sports clubs and the best nannies cannot replace a mother for children, so sacrifice your career for the sake of your children. Spend all your free time with your children, arrange holidays together, play, take an interest in school affairs and hobbies.
• Be sure to remember that your husband also needs your attention and care. If you have to work overtime, let your spouse know and don't forget to make up for it on the next day off by having a romantic morning that turns into lunch and dinner. Try to avoid working on weekends and refuse overtime. Build a career not by increasing your working hours, but by your professionalism and deep knowledge.

Career and family for a woman

If you think about it and honestly answer the question to yourself, it turns out that many women strive to make a career in order to meet a worthy man and at the same time achieve a certain material stability and level in society. There are no other clearly defined reasons that force one to persistently overcome step after step of the career ladder. Having achieved what they want, usually women no longer strive to move even higher; this remains, even today, the prerogative of men. Women who have received the desired position and have reached a clearly defined level of income begin to think about starting a family, that it is time to direct all their efforts to finding worthy man, birth and raising children.

Therefore, if there is energy and ambition in the character, it is best for a woman to realize herself first as a business person and only after that start starting a family. Unfulfilled professional potential can become an obstacle to happy family, as it will become a source of quarrels, scandals and mutual claims. To avoid this, if a woman feels the need and desire to work, let her work and not worry about what to choose, a career or a family. After all, it is quite possible to combine career and family simply by properly organizing your workday and distributing responsibilities.

A self-actualized woman is much calmer and happier than one who sacrificed her dreams for her family. Unfortunately, it is also worth remembering that now men are no longer restrained by society, the church, or children, and a woman who knows how to provide for herself will not find herself in difficult situations. financial situation if the man decides to leave her. In addition, everyone has the right to choose and freedom to make decisions, so make a career if you want it, but remember that when you become an honorary former director of a retired plant, you will want to have family and friends nearby, so don’t forget about family, career won’t give you a glass of water.

You shouldn’t look at those women who completely devoted themselves to their family. If you look closely, many of them simply do not want to work and are comfortable in their own world. They easily made their choice because they do not have any inflated goals and desires. They want to remain, first of all, a wife, mother, daughter and woman, and not a manager, but they also risk being in difficult situation theirs increases if the family breaks up.

The most the best option there is only one left, if you have ambitions and abilities, realize them before you have a family, as soon as you get married, find time and energy for your family, and then you will be able to successfully combine both your career and family without doing choice between them.