Why men leave in English was written several posts below. Now we will analyze the situation when everything was going well, the relationship was at the peak of development, you had joint plans and even more, and the man suddenly and without explanation disappeared. In 50% (or even more) the answer is obvious and uninteresting - he simply made peace with his ex-girlfriend/wife. It’s sad to realize, but very often the most seemingly wonderful relationships are an illusion. It seems to us that this is the one, and the man is simply actively building relationships because he wants to get away from the past as soon as possible. But if at some point ex-girlfriend decides to take him back, and he's not completely over her yet, he'll choose her. And he may leave without really saying goodbye. Even so. Even if everything was already serious for you. In this very emotionally difficult situation, the most important thing is to understand that it is absolutely not your fault. You may consider yourself much more beautiful, smarter and better than his ex - and even objectively this may well be the case - but men very often prefer to stay with the one with whom he has already spent many years. I have even witnessed situations where a man has already loved new girl, had already introduced her to all his friends and relatives, but her ex showed up. At first he firmly refused to even talk to her, then he began to rush about, returned to her, went back to the current one, then decided to take time to think alone about this situation and eventually returned to the previous one.
If you don’t get so far ahead and consider the situation when you recently met a man, started dating, both are completely delighted with each other, he showers you with gifts and proves his actions with his actions. serious intention, then here it is quite possible to encounter the fact that in the midst of all this idyll, a man disappears without warning. Or he begins to “freeze”, talk about being busy, problems, and answering the questions “what happened?” answer “Everything is fine, don’t make things up.” But you see that it’s not good at all. That before he called 5 times a day and also wrote SMS, you met every day, but now he calls once every two days, and the meetings have become less frequent. There can be 2 explanations here. The first and most logical thing is that he “conquered” you and calmed down. This does not mean that he no longer likes you, but he is no longer looking forward to meeting you. That is, the relationship reaches a new calm level. Or they don’t move on if the man is burned out or if he initially had frivolous feelings. The second explanation is more complex. Women prefer to call it “the man was afraid of his feelings.” This is not entirely true. Many men (women too, but less often) tend to stop at some point and think “so, what’s going on?” He won’t even necessarily think so, he may just instinctively feel it. When a man calls a woman every day and meets with her, he involuntarily begins to be drawn into her life. This is a natural process. And at one moment he feels that this takes up almost all of his time, and it shouldn’t be that way. He has his own men's world, he cannot be in women's clothes all the time. And so he takes a break to analyze everything and understand what to do next and what he needs in general. A woman at this moment needs to be as calm as possible. Under no circumstances should you call, pester, or 
panic and not become hysterical while sorting things out. It’s better to step back and mind your own business. The man must miss you. Or not get bored. But in any case, your annoying attention will not help, even if the man does not plan to leave you. The more you call him and remind him of yourself, the less opportunity you give him to miss you. Sometimes this pause can be prolonged. It all depends on your desire and patience. Are you ready to continue to wait calmly when 3 weeks have already passed, or this is not the hero of your novel, and you move on. Just keep in mind that there is no problem for a man to appear in your life again after 2 months or even more. Their brains are wired differently. In your opinion, he meanly disappeared, but in his opinion, he was doing important things, solving problems, had absolutely no intention of putting an end to your relationship and was generally a great guy.
There is another curious male trait. The man does not suddenly disappear from his point of view. This may be the result of his long thoughts. At the same time, the man is completely confident that everything he thinks about in his head is just as obvious to the woman, although they have never even thought about it 
talked. And so he rides in the car next to you, falls asleep next to you, has lunch at the same table and at the same time thinks about something. From day to day. And then he makes a decision and leaves. You are in a panic, and he is surprised - how come you didn’t notice his thoughts and don’t know what he was thinking about. For a man, his internal dialogue is so real that he is absolutely sure that you understood everything too. Have you noticed how men like to ask: “Where is that piece of paper that I hung on the refrigerator 2 months ago?”, “No, we’re not going to mom on Saturday, I’m going fishing all weekend, how come you don’t know? “I negotiated with Vasya in front of you” and even “where is my shirt?” These are all indicators that men are confident that we live their lives to the same extent as our own. And therefore, we are aware of his plans to drop everything and leave, plunge headlong into a new business or conquer Antarctica.
Finally, there are situations when a man gets tired of responsibility. Everyone needs something from him - at home, at work, parents, friends, children. Debts, worries, problems. He waves at
everything with his hand and scores. That is, he runs away from everything. Unfortunately, this is not a solution, because the formula “it will somehow resolve itself” does not work in this case. Because his loved ones will have to “dissolve” it. And this shifting of responsibility is characteristic only of very infantile or vile men, who ultimately sink to the bottom themselves. Therefore, these should be forgotten immediately.
He doesn't call. Why? This eternal women's problem can already stand on a par with such sacramental questions as “what to do?” and “who is to blame?” Perhaps it has been torturing the female psyche for quite a long time, much earlier than the telephone was invented. Before this, young ladies suffered because of “he doesn’t write,” “he doesn’t send doves,” “he doesn’t come,” and so on. The essence is the same - he does not show signs of attention.
The most interesting thing is that the answer to this question in 99% of cases is completely simple, clear and concise: he doesn’t want to. But lovely ladies, as a rule, are not satisfied with such a solution to the problem and, even more so, do not reassure them. Okay, let's try to figure out all the X's and I's of this equation.
Why can he disappear and not call?
Immediately after meeting
You recently met an interesting and charming young man, had a nice chat, exchanged phone numbers and, of course, agreed to call. Moreover, he could have promised to call himself. But the phone is silent and the constant waiting begins to exhaust you, spoil your mood and put pressure on your self-esteem.
Why doesn't the guy call?
- He may be busy and simply forget about both his promise and you. Yes, we met, yes, some spark flew by. It flew by, but didn't catch. Men are not focused on women, but on themselves, on their business, their hobbies, new victories and conquests. It would be nice for the ladies to learn a little from them.
- The man might have doubts. When we met, I fell under the spell or my own mood. Maybe under the influence of alcohol. Afterwards, he overestimated his impressions and no longer saw the point of dialing the phone and continuing the relationship.
- The issue may simply be money. Temporary or permanent financial difficulties prevent you from making a call. Agree, after meeting, it is customary to invite a lady somewhere. Not everyone has the courage and skill to make a chic invitation just to get some air. Especially if you have to choose a place somewhere away from cafes, cinemas and even ice cream stands.
- A man may not be sure that he liked him. Even if he wasn’t shy, the guy could read from the lady’s behavior that he didn’t make the right impression and didn’t want to waste time and energy on this relationship.
- The guy might simply not have liked the girl, but he promised to call him out of ordinary politeness, according to tradition. Well, as happens in interviews: “Thank you, we will call you back.” This happens often and it is not at all fatal, but quite natural.
- The exact opposite option is that the guy liked the girl too much. But a huge clot of his own complexes and low self-esteem stop him. He can pause so as not to look too intrusive in her eyes, or maybe he will never call at all.
- He may not be free. Perhaps he already has a couple and has treated his union with care. A man can be married. In this case, you should generally be glad that there was no call.
- It was stolen by aliens from Alpha Centauri and there is no way to get through from there. Yes, the weaker sex begins to fantasize furiously, coming up with various good reasons why the gentleman disappeared. The imagination draws many options: from losing a phone number to car accidents. So let it be Alpha Centauri. At least there, the object of dreams is absolutely inaccessible and you can safely begin to forget it.
After the first date/meeting
The long-awaited first call may take place. And so, after the first meeting - deadly silence. What could possibly go wrong? Whatever! The first date is for this purpose, so that people can better understand and feel each other.
You might not find common topics for communication. You might seem to him too talkative or too silent, too stupid or much smarter than him. The guy might not like your shyness or, conversely, your too cheeky behavior. After all, a man could only be looking for a short relationship and realize that this is not the right option for him.
The big question is whether it is worth speculating about the reasons for his disappearance in this case. People are different, you cannot and should not please everyone. If you haven’t called within a week, feel free to look for another relationship.
After the first night
The “disappearance” of a man after the first night happens so often that it has become “the talk of the town.” Today they have a much simpler attitude towards sex. The first close contact, like the first date, can also be regarded as a kind of grinding in, studying each other. And there are also plenty of reasons not to continue the relationship:
- both the gentleman and the lady could simply not pass this “casting”. Accordingly, the party that did not receive much pleasure is unlikely to seek further meetings;
- men are polygamous by nature and, according to them, they need a certain period of time to want sex with the same woman again. They need time to forget the sensations and want to remember them. It’s just that men’s libido works exactly according to this scheme;
- perhaps sex was the partner's only goal and serious relationship were not originally planned. The result is achieved, the height is taken, then - for the next victories;
- Perhaps most of all, men are frightened by the encroachment on their freedom. If a lady at the start of a relationship already begins to mentally try on Wedding Dress and planning the color of the wallpaper in the children's room, he instantly sees only the sparkling heels of the chosen one.
After a quarrel
Doesn't call after a quarrel - that's a slightly different story. It's not just men who behave this way. A person can be very offended, he can defend his principles. If a guy doesn't feel guilty, he's unlikely to call quickly. But if he understands his guilt and disappears, it means that the relationship is of no value to him. He doesn't try to restore them.
In addition, manipulators usually do this, hoping that their partner will not withstand the emotional stress and will dial the number first. They understand perfectly well that the one who receives the call has a psychological advantage.
When is it a manipulator's trap?
Separately, it is worth telling that sometimes the absence of a call is simply a desire to manipulate. That is, he does not call on purpose. He wants to force you to take the first step or just make you think about yourself. According to the men themselves, this trick is quite common.
It feels like boys are taught this at school. He may not remember what a literature textbook looks like, and may not distinguish Pushkin from Onegin. But the famous “than smaller woman we love, the easier it is for her to like us” - she knows it perfectly and uses it successfully.
Successful because this psychological technique really works and ladies fall into the trap time after time. Remember, this happened. It seems like you haven’t even managed to fall in love yet, but not understanding why you are being ignored makes you think about him more and more. Psychologists and esotericists say: where there are thoughts, there is energy. The manipulator receives it from you in gigabytes, and you lose it.
Ultimately, the victim begins to feel that life will improve (read: energy will return) only when the long-awaited call and communication occurs. Addiction is born. That's how this mousetrap works.
In fairness, it must be said that this is not only a male instrument of influence; girls often behave the same way. What to do if you notice manipulation? Run as fast as you can! You can, of course, persuade yourself: “I’ll call only once, to clarify the situation for myself, and that’s all!” But, if you come across an experienced manipulator, you will continue to “clarify this for yourself” for a very long time, sometimes for years.
Should you call the guy yourself?
If you find yourself in such an unpleasant situation when a man does not call, you should listen to the opinion of psychologists.
As a rule, they advise remembering the masculine nature of the conqueror and not interfering with him in this exciting process. This means: never take the initiative at the beginning of a relationship. Never!
Could you imagine the game suddenly turning 180 degrees and rushing straight into the arms of the hunter? What will he do? That's right, fight back! Show feminine wisdom and let him go through at least the initial stage of the game to the end. Without your help.
It is curious that men themselves are absolutely in agreement with psychologists on this issue. They admit that a woman who gets them too easily quickly becomes uninteresting. Moreover, the lady’s excessive activity during this period, when the relationship is still in its infancy, is frightening and annoying. It seems to them that they have fallen into some kind of trap where they can no longer fully control their lives.
What if this is love?
Hundreds of scientific papers, millions of studies and billions of articles have been written about the difficulties in relationships between men and women. But even with the most savvy young ladies, incidents happen and cold-blooded machos make them suffer.
There is a joke among psychologists: “All women are considered good psychoanalysts by nature. But only until they fall in love. Then they themselves become our patients.”
If you've fallen in love and are going crazy because he doesn't call, the most... best recipe: Take care of yourself and what you love. Load yourself with necessary and enjoyable activities. Here all the variety will be used: from SPA salons with massages, get-togethers with girlfriends, to French lessons and watercolor painting.
Do something you've never done before. Maybe the Universe is trying to explain something to you in this way and tell you where to move and develop further. Sports, yoga, dancing, travel, driving school, handicrafts, design classes - the range of women's interests is vast and varied.
Finally, fall in love with yourself and often remember the wise saying engraved on King Solomon’s ring: “All this too shall pass.”
Video: why is the man silent and not calling? How to behave?
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If a man disappeared, he stopped calling and texting
Probably every woman is familiar with the situation when a man in a relationship with her began to keep his distance, suddenly disappear somewhere without explanation and make contact. Nothing happened to him, he didn’t have another one, everything was fine, but for some reason he decided to distance himself from you. The women's portal Women's Time offers to analyze the situation and find out what to do if a man disappears, stops calling and texting.
What is absolutely forbidden to do?
Before we understand what to do and how to deal with it, let's find out which is absolutely forbidden to do. This includes a woman’s initiative and imposing herself on her beloved, when you want to call, arrange a meeting, dot all the i’s, find out how this man treats you, where your relationship is heading, and so on. If a man distances himself, then there is some reason. It is possible that he has begun to doubt that he wants to be with you. If at this moment you begin to shower him with claims, impose yourself and try to prove something to him, then you will get the corresponding result. The man will think that you are hysterical, crazy, and his doubts will be confirmed.
How to behave if a man disappears and stops calling and texting?
Take care of yourself! Meet with friends, go to visit your parents (if they live in another city, for example), go on a trip, go to the premiere of a new movie, clean up the house, do anything that will bring true pleasure and allow you to forget for a while about your loved one. What happens to the man at this moment? He understands that he is losing touch with you, that you are so interesting that you can be taken away, that you are not sitting with the phone in your hands and waiting for him 24/7. He starts to worry and get nervous especially if mutual friends talk about you in a positive way or he watches you active life in social networks.
When he starts calling you and inviting you to a meeting, There is no need to be surprised by this and immediately run, throwing yourself into his arms. Show that you are still interested in him, but not as much as before. That you have a lot to do and he needs to seek your attention and affection. IN otherwise, the situation will repeat itself again and you will again sit at nothing and not understand what went wrong, why he ran away again.
This works if you really immerse yourself in a bright, rich life, and don’t think about how to present yourself advantageously and make him sit and bite his elbows. You need to do this sincerely and understand that life does not stand still, that by being in standby mode, you are simply wasting time. Read the psychologist's article women's magazine
Don’t waste your time and your youth on those men who don’t take you seriously, who don’t see you as a future wife and mother of their children. Believe me, you really deserve a man who will constantly prove to you that you are a desirable and beloved woman, and not with words, but with real actions.
Date: 2015-11-25
Hello site readers.
In this article we will talk about why a man appears and disappears. I know that many girls are surprised by this behavior of men. By the way, girls also behave this way. Both men and women exhibit this behavior. Of course, there is a logical explanation for this, although all the reasons still cannot be identified.
I wanted to tell you about this at the end of the article, but it’s better to tell you at the beginning. A man may appear and disappear if he is doing pickup. Six months ago I wrote an article: . So, pickup artists have equipment "closer-further". Its essence is to take two steps forward and then one step back. This is the same behavior when a man disappears and then appears. Then he disappears and appears again. And he can behave this way for a long time.
This technique is needed in order to make a girl fall in love with you. You must agree that it works. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article. A man who suddenly disappears causes certain feelings in a girl. He may do this unconsciously (if he is not a pickup artist), but the effect is there. You are now sitting and trying to figure out why he behaves this way. You worry, which means you fall in love with him more and more. The girls themselves, without exception, use the technique "closer-further", but they do it unconsciously. So they tie everything to themselves more men, since men are more susceptible to this technique.
But these are pickup artists who behave this way. Not all men study pickup. There are other reasons too. For example, there is simply no time. The man is very busy. Especially now, when there is a crisis in 2015, there is no work, no money. The man just has problems that need to be solved. Of course, he may not care about you for some time. As soon as the problems are solved, he appears again.
It happens that the girl he likes just gets tired of her. He wants to be with friends, relax, do something. A couple of weeks is enough for him to miss you and show up again. After all, he has other hobbies besides you. And besides, what kind of man is this if he has nothing and no one except you. He himself will then become uninteresting to you after some time. And so, while he disappears and appears, he attracts you.
You had a fight and he disappeared, you made up and he appeared. Everything is clear here. You offended him, he offended you. You are waiting for him to call you, he is waiting for you to take the first step, time passes, but there is no result. After some more time, one of you takes the first step to improve the relationship, because if one of the partners does not meet halfway, then the relationship ends. And if you often quarrel, then do not be surprised why a man disappears and appears. It takes time to cool down. Sometimes it takes a long time to get something back good attitude, which was before. And so, if you seriously offended young man, then he just doesn’t want to talk to you. This may be for a certain time, or he may not want to communicate with you at all. Be careful when expressing your dissatisfaction. Otherwise, he will disappear and will not appear.
He's just tired of you. This is another common reason why a man disappears. If you often spend time with him, constantly call, write to him, and do not give him time for himself, then the man has a desire to disappear. Imagine that you are drinking milk. You drank one glass, then a second, then a third, barely. I don’t want the fourth one anymore, but I need to drink it. After the sixth, you begin to feel sick from the overdose. And tomorrow you can no longer look at this milk. The sight of milk makes you feel sick. So you have become like milk for him. He can no longer look at you. You are sitting in his liver (sorry for being harsh). You need to become a dosed milk, not an overdose.
And then the man will not disappear and appear. He will always be glad to see you, but only if you become milk, which will never be enough for him. You must always be missed for him. It is you who must appear and disappear. It is you who must use the technique "closer-further". And then your man himself will go online and be interested in a similar topic.
Eat Great chance that the man is simply testing you, how much you need him. If a man notices that the initiative for communication comes only from him, and you never call or write to him first, then he may think that you are not interested in him. Consequently, he takes a step back in the form of disappearance. If you make contact, he appears in your life as if he had never disappeared. Therefore, dear girls, do not give men reasons to test you. We also want to feel loved and needed. And sometimes we check it.
A man can disappear because he is infatuated with another woman. Besides you, he may start courting another girl. And if he doesn’t have a relationship on the side, he remembers you and appears in your life. But you need to know that his attention is switched to another girl. He may be with you physically, but mentally he will be with another girl.
He is simply indifferent to you and he does not want to communicate with you. Very often there are cases when a girl simply doesn’t like a guy. He just doesn't want to spend time with her. In such cases, it is useless to impose yourself on him. This will push him further away. Only time will tell what will happen next. He will either get bored and get in touch himself, or he will forget about you forever.
A man can disappear if he is offended on the side. He will worry, replay in his head the incident when he was offended. He simply won't remember you. He needs time to... When he comes to his senses, he will definitely appear in your life if he cares about you.
If a man disappears without explanation, then this is no longer your problem. The reason may not always lie within you. You need to love and respect yourself. Don't get too hung up on it, because it probably isn't worth it. Better get busy. Very often a man appears when you have forgotten about him or have met another man. And this is his problem. There was no point in disappearing. Now he will have to make an effort to get you back. Just like that.
Why does a man appear and disappear?
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Another man just disappeared?
Let me guess: everything was so cool, one date or three. Or you’ve been dating for several months and oops... Disappeared. Doesn't call, doesn't write, answers your calls/SMS in monosyllables. Yes? Continue reading, now you will understand what happened.
Imagine, I once taught a seminar on relationships. There were about 20 people at the webinar. And so I talk about the difference between M and F, and here is the question: “how do we understand if everything was fine with us, and he suddenly disappeared?” And guess what? Similar questions immediately poured in from others. So I had to explain everything in detail, instead of talking about the planned topic.
I told them, I’ll tell you too. Since you will ask me this question sooner or later anyway. Just don't forget that every rule has exceptions. And everything that I will write below is the opinion of some psychologists and experts on the topic of relationships.
Well, here’s the problem: “He doesn’t call, but everything was cool. What to do?". I, beautiful, know that you are in pain now, I know that you miss me, that I am sure that he is the One, that I have already come up with a thousand excuses for myself. And, although you still don’t believe that I also have problems and experiences, this happened to me too.
The last time, everything was so wonderful: he clearly admired me, we chatted a lot and constantly went somewhere. And then he walked me home, all so in love and in love and still... never showed up again. And no need for hysterics, he is alive and well.
In short, my dear, friend in misfortune, if he disappeared, then with a 99% guarantee nothing happened to him. He Didn't end up in the hospital, He didn't lose your number and it wasn't stolen by aliens. No. He just doesn't want to call you. That's all) Oh, just don't cry! Let him go through the forest! But seriously, you should know about several features of the male psyche.
Firstly, time flows differently for them, unlike us. And if he disappeared, it doesn’t mean anything. Yes, if he disappeared for a week or two, then there is a chance that he is just very busy. And when he appears, it will depend on you whether you will accept him with open arms or, following an old woman’s habit, you will pout and send him to hell.
If you choose the latter, don’t forget that it could be the same one you kicked out... But, there is a possibility that he forgot about you. In any case, I say with authority that it is better to give a second chance.
Secondly, These people from Mars also form their attachment in their own way. The further they go, the more they love. The so-called rubber band effect. If you are dear to him, then the longer he doesn’t see you, the happier the meeting will be. This, by the way, is very skillfully used by experienced seductresses and it would not hurt you.
Well, if there was nothing, then he will go and go until he finally leaves. Understand? Or there is an elastic band and then it stretches, and when it stretches too much, one end of it will fly to the other. If not, then give him a pie.
So what should you do? Just kill it! Relax and mind your own business, something useful and interesting, your life, for example. Or start going on dates urgently. If he decided to end the relationship, then you need to wean yourself off him. If you are dull, then you will not notice how the time of separation passes.
Should I call him? Call if you really want to. But remember that the conversation should be on a neutral topic: weather and nature. Under no circumstances should you ask why he doesn’t call or what he’s doing. If he wants, he will tell you. A man needs freedom, be kind enough to provide it if you hold on to it.
