How to understand that your ex-husband still loves you. Will the husband return to the family?

It seems that you and your ex-husband have already told each other everything, and although this man was incredibly dear to you, once upon a time everything became a thing of the past and should remain there. You gather your strength and intend to look only forward, building a new life and, possibly, new relationships. You only want peace. Suddenly.

Your ex starts calling you again, goes to your page on a social network, leaves comments, communicates with acquaintances and friends, asks them about you, and is especially interested in whether you have a new admirer or, perhaps, a partner. What does it mean? Does your ex still love you and, realizing his own fatal mistake, wants to come back? And what should you do in this situation? Does it make sense to take reciprocal steps?

What signs can you use to understand that your ex loves you?

- If everything your ex does is only in response to your requests, for example, he helps you move furniture or fixes your electrical wiring, finally, he picks you up to take you to the dacha, or whatever, then if all this he does it only because you asked him to do it, then this doesn’t say anything at all. It's likely that your ex-husband has simply had enough well-mannered person and considers himself obligated to provide all possible assistance ex-girlfriend or his wife.

- But if he himself shows such initiative, and does not just show some curiosity in conversations with mutual friends, constantly calls and asks if everything is okay with you, if you need help fixing the plumbing or picking up bags from the store, then this already says About many things. In any case, about the fact that your ex clearly does not want to disappear from your reality completely.

– Another unmistakable indicator is that your ex not only fully admits his mistakes, but also strives with all his might to correct them. It is possible that he even strives to win you over again and does things that are unusual for himself. And all this regardless of who exactly initiated your breakup. How to understand that your ex loves you? See how much he is willing to change in order for you to be together again. If this willingness is undeniable, then your ex would really really like to return.

“However, there are also instances who, having left one woman, for example, for another, and having failed to build a relationship there that would suit them, understand that it was, in essence, not so bad for them in their old place. Then he appears on your doorstep again, sincerely considering himself a gift from fate that you should welcome with open arms. It is quite possible that you will do so, but just keep in mind that soon the same story will repeat itself again, then again and again. You definitely won’t be happy with such a person, and it will bring you a lot of suffering.

Help your ex make the first move

– If you understand that your ex loves you, then you, of course, can sit and wait until he finally decides to take specific actions. It must be said right away that you can wait a very, very long time. After all, it’s not enough for your ex to understand that he needs you, he also needs to step over the own pride and say directly about your desire to return, and this is very difficult. Perhaps you need to help him somehow?

– Of course, if a man does not talk about this topic at all, then this is also a warning sign. It is quite possible that he simply has not yet been able to understand himself, to finally decide on his desires and is simply behaving like a dog in a manger.

– If a man has already given you unambiguous hints on this topic, then you do not need to start any games with him. If you want to get back together with your ex, and you are sure that he loves you, then the best thing to do is probably tell him so directly. If you are still not able to forgive the offense that was inflicted on you or you no longer have any feelings left, you should also not give the person false hope. Just have an honest conversation with him.

It would seem that the fateful and last words have been spoken a long time ago, and the man who was dear remains in the past, received the nickname “former”, and now you want only one thing - so that nothing reminds you of him, so that you can start building your personal life again, from scratch.

But no. Despite the fact that he himself made the decision to break up, the man continues to call, constantly finds a reason to meet, visits your page on in social networks and asks all mutual acquaintances about what is happening to you, and whether you have a new boyfriend.

What is this? Awareness of your own mistake and the desire to return? Or is it just behavior from the series: I don’t like it myself, and I won’t give it to others? This is what we will talk about today. As well as whether it’s worth taking a step forward or whether it’s better to change your phone number and finally leave this man in the past, like, when you leave, go away.

How to understand that your ex wants to come back

A man wants to be in your life if he doesn't just call or show curiosity when talking to people you know. He is also taking active steps, or at least showing that he is ready for them. For example, he constantly offers his help, it is important to him how your plumbing works, whether all the lights are on, whether it will be difficult for you to drag heavy bags from the store before some holiday. Just remember that if he really wants to return, then the initiative comes exclusively from himself, and not as a response to your request, since ex-wife or a friend is not refused help not only by those who want to build a relationship with her again, but also by those who are simply well brought up.

Another sign that the ex wants to become the current one is realizing one’s own mistakes and trying to correct them. Anyone who tries to enter the same river for the second time draws conclusions from the past and does not behave as he once did. He tries to re-conquer a woman, commits actions unusual for him. Moreover, regardless of whether he left on his own or whether you sent him to resign. Only the one who is ready to change in order to be with a woman again truly wants to come back.

Although we must immediately make a reservation that there are some individuals who, having once abandoned a woman, and then, not having settled their personal life with someone else, believe that their desire alone is enough for the woman to accept them again. Such a man simply comes and says: here I am, love me and favor me. That is, he believes that he is such a gift that the woman will be happy only because he paid attention to her again. In this case, you need to run away from such a man, otherwise after a while he will go on a free voyage again, again he will find nothing, or rather, he will not find anyone, he will return, and you will wait and forgive, and, accordingly, you will be unhappy.

A sign that a man still wants to be with you is his desire for open dialogue. The one who is silent, who does not voice his plans and feelings, does not yet know what he wants, or is it convenient for him to use his ex-wife(beloved), for example, to satisfy one’s sexual needs, without promising anything in return.

Moreover, a man does not always speak directly about his plans and feelings; there can be hints and reservations. After all, at his core, a man is a proud beast, and it is difficult for him to immediately admit that he was once wrong. Although if he doesn’t voice anything at all, this is a reason to be wary; this is where the “dog in the manger” syndrome may manifest itself. That is, he may not need you at all, he simply cannot bear to think that you will be with someone else.

How to help your ex get back

If you are sure that you want your ex-man back, do not play cat and mouse with him. Be sincere and open. A man should feel that you have forgiven him (and this is very difficult, because grievances do not go away so easily). And since a man first of all loves with his eyes, you should greet him every time with a smile and dazzling appearance - well-groomed hands, beautiful clothes, elegant hairstyle and makeup. And at the same time, in no case should you complain about your life. The only thing you can afford is to hint to a man that you feel bad or difficult without him. But just to hint.

There’s no need to do a man a favor - like, of course, I’m offended and in pain, and in general, I’m doing just fine without you, but if you really want it... This behavior backfires. A man, no matter how much you want it, does not begin to feel his guilt more acutely; on the contrary, he begins to look not for a reason to return, but for reasons why he should not do this or does not want to. And this happens due to the fact that a man subconsciously feels that you, having gained power over him, will constantly remind him that he left, and then “came crawling” himself, you will play on this situation, use it for your own purposes . Of course, it would be easier for you if you could cause him equal pain, but this is a dead end in a relationship, and, sooner or later, such a relationship will end again, only this time completely.

You can show your readiness to take the man back with the help tactile contact, that is, using touch. But here you need to act very delicately (in general, in this problem, delicacy is the first priority). Don't obsessively try to take your ex-man by the hand or put your arm around his shoulders when you pass by to put the kettle on. It is quite enough to sometimes lightly touch his hand with your fingertips when talking. It is also appropriate to hug him when you meet him (if he comes to your house) - cordially and easily, as if in passing. And immediately pull away. This is a signal - you are glad to see him, you are ready to start a dialogue.
If there is a place in your home where your ex-man is most comfortable, then welcome him there - this way you will show him that “his territory” is still waiting for him. The exception, of course, is the bedroom as such, that is, you can put him on the sofa in the living room, even if this sofa is your sleeping place, but bringing him into a room where there is only a double bed and a wardrobe is not recommended. In the bedroom, a man’s thoughts do not rush to the future, but to the specific present, that is, strictly downward, and this is an invitation to sex, and not a help to the man to return. True, in certain situation Sex can also help, but only if up to this point you have avoided intimacy with this man in every possible way.

When you shouldn't help and forgive

As mentioned above, first of all, you yourself must want to be with this person again, but if you have even the slightest doubt that you need this, then look for another man. And even more so, you need to think 33 times whether you want your ex to return, if there is already another man next to you who is trying his best to make you happy. And even if you don’t love him until you lose your pulse, there is no guarantee that, having accepted your ex, in a week you will not regret that you missed the person who did not betray you, for the sake of the dubious pleasure of “stepping on the same rake” again "

There are other situations:

If you are constantly being given some promises, but nothing is fulfilled, then there is no need to justify a man by saying that he simply has no time. This self-deception can take you too far. The one who wants to return everything will not “feed you breakfast”, but will act.
If a man calls you only when he is heavily intoxicated, then you should not console yourself with the hope that: what is on the mind of a sober man is on the tongue of a drunken man. This is far from true. And it is not the subconscious that speaks in a man at this moment, but loneliness or the desire to talk (or have sex).

If, in conversations with you, your ex constantly mentions those women he was with after he broke up with you. A person who really wants to come back will spare your feelings and, accordingly, will try to at least convince you that he was just going “nowhere.” And even if you clearly know that this is not so, his attempts at “white lies” are a good sign. If every now and then in his stories he returns to his recent past, in which you were not there, but there were other women, then he regrets precisely that time, and not his past life with you.

If a man says that he wants everything back, that he wants to come back and be with you, but in the meantime he prefers to spend time not with you, but with his friends, at work or at the sports club, that is, he does not put your interests above his own. In this case, he only cares about his comfort, and he wants to return to you precisely because you are part of a comfortable life (clean shirts, hot food, regular sex). This is a manifestation of selfishness, and by definition we are not talking about any love here. He doesn’t want to return to you, he doesn’t care who will be there, just so as not to be lonely and unkempt.

In general, the question of returning ex-man– a slippery question. On the one hand, maybe fate is giving you both a second chance at happiness, and if you take advantage of it, nothing will separate you. But on the other hand, according to statistics, only 1 out of 20 couples live together for more than 3 years after reunification. Therefore, you should only accept your ex if you yourself are ready to forget about the past, that is, do not remember past grievances, do not reproach or blame the man. Two must change. You should not think that when a man returns, he automatically becomes your thing and falls into eternal slavery. And that he, feeling guilty, will put up with any of your whims. And you yourself are unlikely to be able to forgive him for his new betrayal. Therefore, a man must understand that from now on he will have to carefully work on his relationship with you. So only a joint desire to be together and work towards this goal will make the second attempt successful and, perhaps, bring happiness.

After the treacherous departure of a spouse and lengthy attempts to heal wounds, some women feel and understand that...

The reasons for such an unexpected reversal can be different, from forced to the personal preferences of the faithful, however, it is necessary to find out what the “fugitives - experimenters” are afraid of, in order to restore, and perhaps improve, the attitude towards oneself with easy and refined actions, revive previously infringed dignity and, if desired, revive the marriage.

Why do men return after divorce?

According to most abandoned wives, husbands' nostalgia for lost comforts takes over. Perennial family life took root in the subconscious of the former head of the family.

For example, a clean floor, the outline of a previously made bed, a heated, delicious breakfast, or washed clothes fragrant with the usual aroma constantly remind themselves of themselves with signals to the “lost” brain, tempted by treason. An imaginary independent life can be maintained on scrambled eggs and packaged dumplings for the time being.

It will clearly require indestructible female ingenuity, strengthened by many hours of grocery shopping, and allowing you to save money and then prepare hearty, savory dishes. And if a rival does the cooking, will the romantic who strives for innovation immediately take up a hammer and repair the plumbing?

He just wants a psychological break, which may push the “traitor” to return to the abandoned “harbour.” The expressed opinions of wives talking about such vulnerabilities complement the fears of mistresses. They consider their emotional connection with the conquered loved one is much poorer than the previous family “accumulator of feelings.”

The winners modestly believe that the usual morning experience in the kitchen cannot always be replaced by a new, not fully studied, companion. The mistresses of an experienced family man also notice his less relaxed behavior.

And they see that it will take years to expand the boundaries of a partner’s comfortable state, and such little things eventually develop into misunderstandings. Experts see the divorced spouse’s fear of possible changes as the main reason for returning.

For example, the desire to go for regular morning jogging often ends with a noticeable decline in motivation. Psychologists emphasize that men want changes in personal relationships, but prefer to give up so as not to go too far from the usual boundaries of comfort. Even the “fugitives” themselves often call the time of leaving a test of feelings.

When the “runaway” husband first appears, it is necessary to remain calm and meaningful silence.

How to understand that your ex-husband wants to return?

Nature has endowed the stronger sex with a heightened sense of superiority. “I found myself,” thinks a satisfied husband, posting about himself on social networks good information after . But as soon as the bright page “fades”, the former dashingness disappears, the number of photographs on display noticeably decreases, and the sign of the unlucky womanizer’s “return to the past” is immediately revealed.

You should listen to the suddenly revived “names” of your once intractable hubby.

If relatives and friends talk about the excessive level of attention of the loving father of the family, then this indicates the process of awakening old feelings.

Often, a fugitive, broken by separation, begins to visit, or even accidentally touch and even inquire about the problems of his ex-wife at work, and waves of jealousy and excessive concern for children will no longer be surprising.

You can expect useful tips from " good people”, deliberately inciting abandoned women to forgive the unfortunate and caring about the future of children who will no longer be able to live without a dad.

Pathological straightforwardness reveals the state of men; for example, a “sad” face will never hide his unhealthy psychological mood.

The tipsy state of the father-lover is also considered a good opportunity to find out his inner motivation.

What to do if your ex-husband wants to get your relationship back?

The generally accepted position “you need to immediately forgive, he realized that I am a treasure” upon the return of the “prodigal husband” should be carefully weighed before opening your wounded soul to the touched “traitor”.

It is necessary to find out his intentions; if the proposed motivation is completely sincere and coincides with personal interests, then why not forgive.

It won't hurt to use the following recommendations:

• analyze future relationships and determine acceptable limits within them, using “hidden” control;
• determine for yourself the degree of responsibility of yourself and your spouse in past events. If someone tried to get out of control, then these moments should be recorded in some way and avoided in every possible way in the future;
• a good result comes from analysis and a personal proposal to jointly resolve a previously pending disagreement.

It is necessary to mentally identify the victim of separation and lead the spouse to a conclusion about the high significance of the victim or victim.

How to speed up the reunification of spouses?

For quick recovery relationships, a special attitude is important, namely:

• try to forget everything;
• let it hurt, but forgive;
• understand yourself and get rid of uncontrollable complexes of anger, indignation and other unpleasant emotions;
• prepare for change. For reunification, a different personality is needed;
• follow the rule: the more deeply and gracefully a woman changes, the faster her husband will be drawn to her;
• maximize self-esteem, reinforced by regular exercise in the gym or at home;
• become really attractive. Every woman knows how to do this; she just has to want it.

Acceleration algorithm for ex-spouse could become like this:

• call and schedule a business meeting, preferably in a week, in a cafe or restaurant, warning that everyone pays for themselves;
• call back in a few days. Reschedule the meeting for the next day in the evening and only for half an hour no more;
• be at least five minutes late and come in a new tight outfit with charming makeup and a good hairstyle;
• greet. Report some far-fetched decision and the need to never meet again. Smile. Kiss me on the cheek and leave. The decision depends on your own imagination, where the environment serves as a resource.

The order of the actions themselves is small, but quite effective. The proposed algorithm in 95% of cases guarantees the awakening of the ex-spouse’s powerful interest in his abandoned wife and the generation of his early desire to return home.

The decision must be made by the woman, but there are a number interesting tips, helping to defuse a tense psychological situation if the spouse wishes to return home.

First, you need a calm, reasonable conversation without scandals and shouting, the purpose of which will be questions initiated by the wife about the intentions of the spouse.

Necessary to find out:

• What is he going to do?
• How?
• And what time period is needed for this?

If a man says that he wants everything back, that he wants to come back and be with you, but in the meantime he prefers to spend time not with you, but with his friends, at work or at the sports club, that is, he does not put your interests above his own. In this case, he only cares about his comfort, and he wants to return to you precisely because you are part of a comfortable life (clean shirts, hot food, regular sex). This is a manifestation of selfishness, and by definition we are not talking about any love here. He doesn’t want to return to you, he doesn’t care who will be there, just so as not to be lonely and unkempt. In general, the issue of returning an ex-man is a slippery issue. On the one hand, maybe fate is giving you both a second chance at happiness, and if you take advantage of it, nothing will separate you. But on the other hand, according to statistics, only 1 out of 20 couples live together for more than 3 years after reunification.

How to understand that your ex-husband still loves you

He's Always Jealous Depending on how jealous your ex is, it may be unpleasant or it may warm your heart to see him act this way.

For example, if your ex-husband gets annoyed when he sees you flirting with someone, that's one thing, but if he gets angry when you just talk to another person, then it's time to tell your ex to back off.

Important

In any case, this is a sign that he cares and probably wants you back.

8.

Attention

He “accidentally” shows up where you go. If you run into your ex everywhere you go, or see him where he has never appeared before, and this happens almost every day, then your ex may be spying on you. location.

In this case, you just need to ask what he is doing here, and from his answer you will understand everything you need to know.

Signs a man loves his ex

Photo: how to understand your ex-husband When he calls only when he is in a very cheerful state, after drinking several glasses of alcohol, appears at night, and then disappears again, without explaining anything, unfortunately for him ex-girlfriend just a convenient option.
He's not going back. Everything suits him. Free time he spends time with friends, relaxes and goes about his business, but when he wants to feel care and affection, he remembers his ex.
He hasn’t changed, hasn’t admitted his mistakes, and isn’t going to change anything in his life.
There is no need to talk about any feelings here. It will not be possible to return it, and it will not be restored a good relationship Same. If you don’t want to feel like an “alternate” airfield, try to explain to him as quickly as possible what you have new life and there is no place for him in it.

How to understand your ex-husband

How to understand that your ex wants to come back A man wants to be in your life if he doesn't just call or show curiosity when talking to people you know.

He is also taking active steps, or at least showing that he is ready for them. For example, he constantly offers his help, it is important to him how your plumbing works, whether all the lights are on, whether it will be difficult for you to drag heavy bags from the store before some holiday.
Just remember that if he really wants to return, then the initiative comes exclusively from himself, and not as a response to your request, since help for an ex-wife or girlfriend is not denied not only by those who want to build a relationship with her again, but also someone who is simply well brought up.

Another sign that the ex wants to become the current one is realizing one’s own mistakes and trying to correct them.

Lana Cortelets' blog

In any case, about the fact that your ex clearly does not want to disappear from your reality completely.

– Another unmistakable indicator is that your ex not only fully admits his mistakes, but also strives with all his might to correct them.

It is possible that he even strives to win you over again and does things that are unusual for himself.

And all this regardless of who exactly initiated your breakup. How to understand that your ex loves you? See how much he is willing to change in order for you to be together again.
If this willingness is undeniable, then your ex would really really like to return. “However, there are also instances who, having left one woman, for example, for another, and having failed to build a relationship there that would suit them, understand that it was, in essence, not so bad for them in their old place.

How to understand by behavior and gestures that your ex-boyfriend still loves you

If it's obvious that he's only here for you, then it's easy to guess that your ex is trying to get yours back. life together. 9.

He, drunk, calls you. Did your ex suddenly call you while drunk? It can be funny if it happens just one innocent time.

But if your ex calls you whenever alcohol is in his stomach, then this could be a sign that you are still on his mind and he wants you back. It's true that alcohol relaxes and removes many psychological inhibitions, but if your ex calls to confess... eternal love, desire for sex or anger towards you, then it is likely that these are not just drunken ravings. If he pours out his soul to you, then that's enough. a clear sign that he wants to bring you back. 10. He directly says “I miss you” This means a lot.

First Doctor

Have pity on yourself, let him go and allow yourself to enjoy life, and not depend on the whim of a man who simply uses you for his own personal interests. Top 7 tips on how to understand your ex-husband

• If your husband left the family because of another woman, but does not refuse to communicate with you, this does not mean at all that he still loves you.

  Take a closer look at him and his behavior. In the case when he promises to come help and does not come, without even bothering to call and warn that he will not come, his feelings have cooled down, and only out of the kindness of his heart he agrees to help you.

  Don't waste it on him best years life, hoping that he still loves you and will return soon.

  Forget about him and move on with your own personal life.

  But if his new passion does not want your communication or she has some problems, and he prefers to help you, then everything is not so smooth in his new family.

How to understand that your ex wants to return and help him with this

Family life consists not only of bright moments; sometimes married couples have disagreements and quarrels.

But everything can be overcome if the husband and wife love each other.

However, over time, feelings may weaken, which, in turn, can cause an affair and then divorce.

Therefore, every woman will find extremely useful advice on how to understand whether your husband loves you.

There are several signs by which you can clearly determine how your significant other feels about you.

How to understand that a husband loves his wife? Often, even the most obvious evidence of a man's love can go unnoticed simply because married woman takes them for granted.

Therefore, you need to become a little more attentive and observe your spouse a little in different situations.

10 signs your ex wants you back

And even more so, you need to think 33 times whether you want your ex to return, if there is already another man next to you who is trying his best to make you happy.

And even if you don’t love him until you lose your pulse, there is no guarantee that, having accepted your ex, in a week you will not regret that you missed the person who did not betray you, for the sake of the dubious pleasure of “stepping on the same rake” again "

There are other situations: If you are constantly given some promises, but nothing is fulfilled, then there is no need to justify the man by saying that he simply has no time.

This self-deception can take you too far. The one who wants to return everything will not “feed you breakfast”, but will act. If a man calls you only when he is heavily intoxicated, then you should not flatter yourself with the hope that: what’s on the sober mind, then drunk on the tongue. This is far from true.

Is this event so joyful for you? Most likely, this causes you certain doubts and uncertainty if the man does not demonstrate new qualities and any changes in his personality.
The return of an ex from the past rightfully causes some excitement. Perhaps you got divorced on the initiative of your husband or your ex-partner did something that you simply could not forgive. Maybe your divorce was by mutual consent, which certainly raises some questions as to why your ex-husband wants to come back. There are times when spouses separate with terrible quarrels and insults. Therefore, you should once again remember the moment when you disagreed with your partner. Why is this necessary? To understand whether you need your ex-husband back. After all, during the separation you could have calmed down and forgotten your feelings for him, and perhaps even started a relationship with another man. So, why destroy a real relationship if the previous union failed?

Why does the ex want to come back: finding out the intentions

If your ex-husband has expressed a desire to get you back, then you should definitely find out the reasons for his action. Even if you are alone and have feelings for ex-partner, then do this procedure anyway. Why do you need this? To understand why a man does this.
Imagine a situation where you joyfully accept your ex-beautiful back. A month or two passes after your reunion. And here another situation occurs that once happened to you when you were married. For example, your husband previously cheated on you, which is why you separated. And now you will find out again that in his life you are not the only woman. As it turns out, he went back to his old ways - he started hanging out with other women. It is “taking up the old ways” that will divorce you again, destroying your relationship. Only after this you will suffer even more than last time.
Do you want to suffer and cry again because you forgave your ex-husband, believing in his promises? No? Then spend time and energy to understand the reasons that prompt a man to ask you back.

Main reasons for returning

Why does a man want to return again to where he left? There can be many options here. If you divorced your husband on your own initiative, then most likely the man loves and really wants to return you - his beloved woman.
If you broke up because your ex-husband offended you (cheated on you, constantly beat you, insulted you, etc.), then the reason for his return may be the desire to resume comfort and a family “shelter” where he will feel good. The fact is that the man was not ready for your divorce, but he did not try to build a successful relationship. And if he still stayed with you, despite the fact that he bullied or offended you different ways, it means that you were somehow convenient for him. It is this convenience that he wants to return back, offering you a renewal of the union.
If your marriage broke up on the initiative of the man himself, then most likely he realized that he had made a mistake, or did not find a better woman than you. This is a kind of defeat of one’s own illusions. The man left you, hoping for a better life. But after spending a little time in real life, and not in his own illusions, he realized that for himself he could not get a better woman than you.
If your ex-husband wants to return, then you should not immediately fall into his arms. Understand that men do not always return out of great love. Quite often, they simply want to hide from the reality in which they now live, falling into the “caring hands” of those women who gave them comfort and love. It is possible that your ex-husband just wants to warm up a little and “lick his wounds”, so that later he can leave you again and go look for a better life. For some reason you broke up last time? And it’s unlikely that any of you spent subsequent time changing your character and habits, so that you could later return and start a new relationship. This only means that the renewed union will again face the same problems as last time, if nothing has changed in your characters.
Therefore, take the time to find out the true reasons why your ex-husband wants to return. It is possible that this step will save you from another disappointment if the man leaves you again. Moreover, just watch your boyfriend. Has he changed in character, his actions, his thinking? What happened to him while you were apart? If the man has not changed, but remains the same, and nothing good has happened during the time you have not seen each other, then be sure that you are taking an embittered and “hungry” man as your partner. Not only will you again be faced with the problems that deceived you last time, but you may also experience his aggression, which has accumulated in him due to failures in his personal life. A man may simply use your kindness and love to regain his strength and leave again. Therefore, be careful in a situation where your ex-husband wants to return.
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Author of the article: Maria Perepelitsa