22. 08.2015
Catherine's blog
Bogdanova
Good afternoon, readers and guests of the “Family and Childhood” website. Life presents us with many surprises. And they can be both pleasant and not very pleasant. But these are just temporary difficulties that we need to cope with. Raising and providing for a child alone without a husband is difficult, regardless of whether it is a son or a daughter. However, raising boys is somewhat more difficult than raising girls.
Children who are raised in a complete family take their cues from their parents. What to do when a mother raises her son alone? Who should he take as an example? Or should mom be for two? How to raise a son to be a real man without a father, to instill in him masculinity, courage, and perseverance?
Raising a boy should be based on certain rules that will help raise a worthy person:
Never try to replace your son's father. A mother's masculine behavior can lead to deviations in mental and sexual development and break children's ideas about the purpose of men and women. The son must be clearly aware of his belonging to the opposite sex.
Throw away all stereotypes and prejudices. You don’t need to believe that you will grow “ Sissy" There are sons of single mothers that many are proud of. They are worthy of respect, they are real representatives of the stronger sex!
Remember that the usefulness of a family is not determined by the number of family members. Is it possible to call a family complete where the parents are alcoholics and give birth to children for money?
Do not hesitate to give your son affection, love and care. He still needs your warmth. Give him enough attention, take an interest in his life.
A child definitely needs a worthy male example. It’s very good if the father sees his son at least occasionally. If not, then godfathers, friends, acquaintances, brothers, grandfathers, and other male relatives will come along.
At school, this could be teachers, coaches and others. It is very important that the child spends as much free time as possible with them. Go visit him so that he can see how the head of a family should behave.
Send your son to men's sections: boxing, karate, football, basketball. He will regularly communicate only with boys and male coaches, from whom he will take an example.
Watch movies, cartoons with the boy, read books, notes, look at men's magazines that show clear example worthy men and various men's hobbies.
Don't spoil him. Treat him fairly, communicate like an adult. In this way, you will not raise a whiner, but a strong and self-confident man.
Teach your son to help you and perform certain tasks and manipulations on his own. You should not do everything for him, as he will become unadapted to adult life.
Talk to your child more. Talk about your experiences, concerns, ask him for advice, take his opinion into account. And he will begin to trust you. And this is worth a lot!
Tell him about your love without any reason, just like that. But you only need to praise for what you do. This will stimulate him and guide him on the right path.
You should absolutely not overprotect boys, watch their every move, or keep them close to you all the time. Remember, this is a child, especially a boy, and he needs freedom, he just needs to throw out his energy somewhere. If you don't give him that opportunity, it could backfire on you.
Critical period in adolescence can lead to the most unexpected consequences. This is the time when your child is no longer a boy, but not yet a man. He begins to be interested in topics of relationships between the sexes and it is very important that at this moment he has someone to talk to and someone to trust.
It is better that this is a male person, older than your boy, who can set a worthy example and guide him in the right direction.
Let your son experience the world as it is. Let him make mistakes - they will be HIS mistakes. People learn from them. Let him communicate with peers, make new acquaintances, and be friends with girls. This will give him the opportunity to expand his horizons and general understanding of life.
You should not impose your views. Respect him as an individual, he has every right to his personal opinion and worldview.
Share his interests. This will bring you a lot closer.
Remember that your child is not you. He has his own life, let him build it himself. Your task is only to guide you on the true path! Love, respect, appreciate, and your family will be the happiest!
adminParents bear a serious responsibility - to raise their children worthy and... Everything that adults instill in a child during preschool and adolescence, he transfers into family life. If you want to know what kind of husband your son will be, look at your family relationships and analyze your parenting methods. By forbidding a boy to show emotions, cry and make mistakes, we create a callous and insecure personality. But, excessive care will not give the expected result. How to raise a real man from a boy?
Recently, education methods and the concept of courage have changed significantly. Parents involuntarily impart into their children what they received in childhood. If the form of punishment was a belt and a corner, then adults use the same methods for their child. At the same time, they forget how hurtful and scary it was for them. Fear is not the best ally in raising a real man. Praise your child more and scold less.
Some tips for mothers on how to raise a man from a boy:
Show tenderness and affection. Psychologists say that boys are vulnerable and need support more than girls. Don't be afraid that you will raise a sissy and a wimp. On the contrary, you show that this is normal. After all, the basis of the relationship between a man and a woman is love. There is an opinion that kisses and hugs can awaken early sexuality in a child. This fact is possible if you overdo it. For example, sitting your teenage son on your lap. At this age, sexuality is uncontrollable, so an awkward situation will arise.
Ask for help. Involve your child in household chores and introduce responsibilities. Start at one year of age. The baby is able to hand his mother a book and pull up a chair. A preschool boy will bring bread or milk from the store. Don't go too far. There is no need to load your child with bags of food. If the boy failed and the burden seemed heavy, do not make fun of the child. Offer to carry something light or come up with help within your son's strength.
Reduce guardianship. The boys run around like hurricanes, grab for something hot, and “bring” home a collection of bruises and abrasions. Don't put a bunch of straw everywhere for your son. Let him fill his cones. If the situation is not dangerous, the child is not in danger, then allow your son to wash the dishes and fall out of the chair. A broken cup and a small bruise will not bring losses, but will become a lesson for the boy.
Cut it down. The research conducted led to an amazing result. Mothers punish sons 4 times more often than daughters. At the same time, boys are naturally more demanding of themselves than girls. And since mothers are stingy with praise, fearing to raise an unmanly boy, they get disastrous results. Instead of a real man, a neurotic, lonely and defenseless person grows up.
Don’t think about what to tell the boy, how to raise him correctly, but work on the relationship. If the family is complete, then show your son the equality of the parties. Do not divide household responsibilities into male and female. Carry out work based on the principle of who is free. At the same time, one cannot belittle the dignity of the pope. The father, in turn, must show chivalry towards the mother.
Peculiarities of raising a boy in a single-parent family
If you look at the statistics, the percentage of women raising their sons alone is growing rapidly. Lacking a worthy example to follow, the boy adopts women's style behavior. As a result, the cliche “behaves like a woman” and others are stuck. There are also back side education when the mother is too harsh with the boy. The child grows up touchy, prone to unreasonable anger and fits of aggression. At the same time, all the anger is poured out on a loved one - the mother.
The peculiarity of raising a boy in a single-parent family is to make up for male influence. If a child grows up without a father, then send your son to the martial arts section, football, swimming. The main thing is that the boy has an example of courage, strength, and worthy behavior. Ask grandpa to spend weekends with his grandson. If things work out for them trusting relationship, then a teenager, faced with male problems, will go for advice to to a loved one. Do the same if your son grows up without his mother. Grandmother will give the necessary care and affection.
The statistics are disappointing; 95% of juvenile delinquents were raised in single-parent families by one mother. Find golden mean, do not take a rigid position. By raising a child too strictly, you are raising a complex and... This kind of upbringing continues throughout the son’s entire life. In the family, he falls under disrespect from his wife and children. His children break the pattern and grow up in an unfavorable atmosphere. They are characterized by aggression and uncertainty. To break this chain, start changing relationships in your family.
The parents raise the child together. The son needs the participation and support of mom and dad. For a boy, it is important to have a man nearby, a role model. Please note that the child carefully observes family relationships and reads information. He will apply the knowledge gained in his family.
What should a dad do to raise a boy to be a man?
Don't be ashamed. Dads want to be proud of their son and tell their friends how strong, brave and courageous the child is growing. Everything will be so, but first, pay attention to the child. Forget about the phrases “you’re acting like a girl,” “men don’t cry,” “I’m ashamed of you,” “I’m disappointed.” These words sink into the soul of a little man for the rest of his life. Allow your child to express feelings. Don't worry, he won't cry over a broken knee at 40. Over time, son.
Instill masculinity. Invite your child to help his mother with the housework, meet his wife from work together, and go shopping. Instill in your son respect for women. Give a hand when getting off the bus, give flowers, give up your seat on the bus, help carry a bag.
Don't use force. Teach your child by example that offending younger ones is the lot of the weak. Forget about men's talk, remove physical punishment. Choose a pet for your child. Let him learn to care and look after the weak.
Dad's praise is worth a lot to a boy. Don't skimp on warm ones, sweet words to my son. Become not only an authority, but also a friend for the child. Who, if not the father, will explain to his growing son how to take care of himself and win women’s hearts.
First of all, try to preserve a full-fledged family. If this is not possible, then do everything so that the father communicates with his son. Continue together. Promote contact between the child and the father, take him to relatives ex-husband. Whatever the relationship between a man and a woman, adhere to the following rules.
Support male authority. Don't scold your husband in front of your child. Show that there are things that only a man can handle. Don't push your son away when doing chores. Fix a kettle together, repair a bicycle, hammer a nail.
Treat your child with respect. Talk to your son as an individual and adult. Answer your child’s questions in detail, do not brush off questions as inappropriate. Remove baby talk from your speech and overprotectiveness. Listen and be interested in the events in his life.
Support your son's initiative. Young children are eager to help their parents. Bring a broom, serve a cup, wash the floors. Don't push your child away by saying it's not a man's job. Support your son's endeavors and assign tasks. As he grows up, give your son new tasks and introduce responsibilities. Develop independence in your child.
Systematically. Visit the pool with your baby, do gymnastics with your preschooler. With the student, proceed to exercises on fresh air. Run, play football, do exercises. Be sure to participate in sporting events, and do not demand that your son fulfill standards. 
Don't insult the child. If you are a hot-tempered person, then mentally count to ten. Then start talking to your son. The offensive words “stupid” and “fool” are remembered for a long time. Think about whether you want this kind of treatment for yourself. Statements that humiliate a child are also not allowed. For example, “you will know a lot, you will soon grow old,” “it’s early, the milk on your lips has not dried yet.”
Instill tolerance. Talk to your son calmly, give answers to questions. Patiently explain to your child why you need to do this, what your son did wrong. , arrogant towards others.
Lead. Teach your child to a routine. Write down your daily routine, post it in a visible place and follow the routine. This is how the child learns to be orderly and develops business skills. When going on a visit, going to kindergarten or school, don’t be late. Show the boy that the man comes to meetings on time.
Raising courage and dignity in a son does not require special efforts from parents. Do not interfere with the child’s development, support his endeavors, allow him to bring friends home, show love and care.
February 26, 2014 Anna Dyakova | 05/06/2016 | 1261Anna Dyakova 05/6/2016 1261
Any parents who have a son ask themselves: how to raise him to be a real man? But today many people concentrate on the concepts of success, sexuality, and determination, forgetting about the simple concept of “a good person.”
How to make a son a man, a man, a good man, how to instill in him the necessary concepts, principles, how to make his outlook on life broader and his soul kinder?
First of all, you need to familiarize yourself with these simple tips. It will take 10 minutes to read, but years to implement. But we believe in you!
1. Do good
Remember how Shura sang: “Do good throughout the whole earth, do good for the benefit of others...”. You, as parents, must write this into your head in golden letters and not let it go until your child crosses the threshold of his parents’ house into another, adult life. Then you can be careless, angry, grumpy, greedy. But that’s later, when your son won’t see it.
2. Good is good, but trust is something else.
To many good people In life you have to substitute yourself for someone else’s “I want.” Your son, looking at you, should clearly differentiate between where you are kind to people and where you are taken advantage of because of your gullibility. Know how to insist on your own when necessary and defend your own point of view. Just be non-aggressive and remember that arguing with a fool is pointless - people may not notice the difference between you.
3. Shake hands, keep contact
It is very important for a son to see how parents behave both with each other and with other people. Since childhood, he pays attention to how dad exchanges a strong handshake with a friend, and mom twirls in front of the mirror in a new dress. He absorbs the behavior of his parents, so always behave with dignity.
4. Respect others
If a father has ever raised his hand to a woman, or a mother to the youngest child in the family, your son will look at you with different eyes. And you will forever bury your self-respect. As, in fact, the dream that your son will grow up to be a real man.
Be a leading example for your son
5. Keep your money under control
Once on the bus I heard a man’s heartbreaking story about how he had no money for travel because he had given it all to his wife. The man looked decent and argued confidently. I believed it. And I thought: “God forbid I have such a husband.” But it depends on who in the family it will be. For some, the husband regularly gives what he earns to his wife, for others it’s the other way around. But if you're raising a son, you need to show him that you know how to handle money. You know how not only to earn, but also to spend. And this is very important.
6. Play sports
It's better if you do this together with your son. The most effective in raising children are considered to be team games. If you play with your son, let him take the initiative. Let him dribble the ball poorly, let him hit the hoop, never criticize or get angry. Tell me better. Or show by your own example.
7.Stand up and speak out.
It’s disgusting to watch when a gang of kids mocks someone who is weaker, and people, men, walk by and don’t pay any attention to it. Or when a teenager uses obscene language in transport, and a father and his son stand calmly, as if listening and heeding the “voice of truth.” Maintain order in society. Your society is here and now. And here the strong should not offend the weak, and next to you you should hear cultural speech. Your son will thank you with his actions for the fact that you were able to create the right environment around him and were not afraid to fight back against offenders and ignoramuses.
8. Remember the principles
A person learns throughout his life and, of course, his views change throughout his life. But you must have some principles. Unshakable. And instill the same moral fortitude in your son.
Support your children's dreams
9. Tell the truth
Make it a habit to always tell the truth. Then you won't need a good memory.
10. Cherish your friendship
No matter how much you say that a friend is not the one who offers to go “hang out” together, but the one who lends a helping hand at the right moment, nothing will have any result if you yourself go to your neighbor’s “for tea” in the evening or “in garage" at the first call, but forget to congratulate your so-called friends on their birthday.
11.Be polite
This rule applies primarily to dads. If you have a son, but you still don’t understand why you should open the door for a woman and give up your seat on the subway, then you will have to understand urgently. And practice. You have a few more days while your wife is in the maternity hospital. Run!
12. Go the right way
A man walks along the outer edge of the road, a woman enters the elevator behind the man and exits in front of him. Your son must see this, you must be able to explain it. Okay, we'll give you a hint in the first couple of minutes. The rules of etiquette dictate that we do this - for men, to protect women and children from passing traffic, and for women - so that the elevator with the man in it collapses, and we remain on the floor. It’s tough, of course, but that’s a man’s lot. We recognize, we love, we understand, we regret. But we won’t be the first to go into the elevator.
Raising a real man is not easy
13. Be good kids
For your parents. Once upon a time, they also read similar advice and puzzled over their implementation. It worked out. Be grateful to them for this.
14. Love your soulmate
Children who live in love are much happier than those who constantly saw quarrels, misunderstandings, betrayals and lies in the family. If you want your son to be happy and that one day he will make another person happy, love your other half. After all, you chose them yourself.
15. Don't say unnecessary phrases
If you say to your son: “Maybe another time,” he, with the same right to your exclamations about his unworthy behavior and the demand to finally become an educated person, will answer you: “Maybe another time.” What goes around...
The moral of this story is: if you want to educate good son, be yourself good people. Then, in fact, advice is unnecessary!
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1918
How to raise a boy to be a real man?
They say that you need to start raising a child when he is still lying across the bench. However, Hindus believe that education begins much earlier. Once a young woman came to the sage and asked for advice:
Tell me how to raise my son.
- How old is he? - the sage asked sternly.
- He was just born yesterday.
- You are exactly nine months and one day late.
That's it. Education begins not even from the cradle, but already in the womb. But these are all parables. If we are closer to life, we will have to admit: many parents think about how to raise a real man out of a boy only when they are saddened to notice “womanish” traits in their son: lack of self-confidence, inability to stand up for oneself, reluctance to take take responsibility, etc. We women often complain that we can’t find a real man during the day these days. But, dear mothers, we ourselves are raising our sons to be such klutzes. Therefore, advice: step on the throat of your own song and listen to what psychologists say. Look, you will draw far-reaching conclusions for yourself.
A boy is not a girl
Something, all parents know this. And, according to the observations of psychologists, sons are treated completely differently than daughters. When a toddler stumbles and falls and cries in pain, they will definitely say to him: “What are you doing? Men do not cry!" If the same little one asks to be held, they will again tell him that he is not a girl and therefore must go himself.
Neuropsychologists, having studied the attitude of parents towards their sons and daughters, came to disappointing conclusions: boys are less likely to be picked up, scolded more often, they are more often directly told what to do: go away, bring it, do it; in relation to their sons, parents more often use a commanding tone and the word “ must".
Do you think this is how you raise a man? You are wrong! The son, of course, will remember that real men never cry, and will hold back his tears. He won’t even show how hurt or offended he is. The result is that stress will accumulate and eventually “bite” its “owner” well, if not to death. After all, if you do not give vent to emotions, serious health problems will begin. Due to restraint, our men are more at risk of cardiovascular diseases, including heart attacks, and diseases of the gastrointestinal tract. They never cry, and therefore live less than women who know how to cry and shout out their grief. In addition, if the little boy cries, it means he needs your psychological support. And it’s cruel to deny him this.
But boys are still not girls. And when raising them, we must also take into account the peculiarities of physiology. That’s why boys’ games are not the same as girls’ games. Boys are more mobile, more energetic, they run after each other more often and more willingly, compete in the range and accuracy of the throw, they strive to fill all the space at their disposal. “I’ll sit in a corner so that no one drags me away - this is not about them.” Do you know why? Yes, because in their games boys often rely on distant vision. And that's why boys for normal development you need as much free space as possible. If it is not enough, the little ones begin to master vertical surfaces: they climb ladders, climb onto cabinets and sofas.
I read this and thought: my little one will not ignore any staircase. When we walk, all the stairs along the way are his. And indeed, there is not enough space in our apartment. So we will get rid of unnecessary furniture and things.
Attention, mothers: when reprimanding your son, be sure to say what exactly you are unhappy with. Boys are always interested in the essence of assessing what exactly is wrong in his behavior. The fact is that, hearing a remark, the boy should be able to “play out” his actions again. Don't give him long lectures. He will only react to your first words. The boy cannot maintain emotional tension for long. Therefore, if emotions intensify during the conversation, and the conversation itself drags on, the boy will simply switch off, the information will not reach his consciousness.
Conclusion: Boys have a third more muscle mass and red blood cells than girls. This means they need to move, throw out the accumulated energy. Hence the outdoor games, the urgent need for physical activity. Take this circumstance into account and direct your son’s energy in the right and useful direction. For example, involve them in homework. Let him help wash the dishes, sweep or mop the floors, go to the store and carry bags home. And, of course, men in the house are obliged to demonstrate a gentle and respectful attitude towards women. A male example before your eyes means a lot. And no amount of suggestions or words can replace it.
Tenderness comes first
A little boy must be surrounded with care. You want him to be happy family life, became caring and loving husband and father? So set an example of how to take care of children and loved ones! A person who does not know what maternal affection and kisses are will never be able to show tenderness towards other people. And willy-nilly, he will select a life partner in your image and likeness. So think about it: if you want him to choose an affectionate, caring and loving person as his wife, be like that towards your son.
And be sure to buy your baby a doll and a stroller. Yes, imagine, boys should play with dolls too. Your son - future father. How else can he hone his “fathering” skills if there is no “child” at hand - a doll? Let him rock the baby doll in his arms, put him to sleep and roll him in the stroller.
Don’t worry, time will pass, and at six years old your son will be more willing to run to play football than sit on your lap.
In general, boys fewer girls need affection and proof parental love. And at the same time, psychologists advise telling your son as often as possible that he is a boy and at the same time using the epithets “brave,” “hardy,” “courageous.” If, for example, the baby fell, hit himself and did not cry, be sure to praise him, note: “Well done!” Another would have cried, but you endured it.”
Male education
Alas, our boys are often raised by women - mothers, grandmothers, educators and teachers. In kindergartens there are often women working, and in schools you can count the number of male teachers on one hand. And what happens? Women “customize” boys to their “standard.” They scold them for their mobility and noise, they constantly say that good kid- This is an obedient baby. In early childhood, auditory images are imprinted in the subconscious, so there is nothing to be surprised about later, reaping the fruits of your own upbringing.
It turns out that it was not for nothing that in noble families they assigned serf uncles to the boys and hired not governesses for them, but tutors. And in peasant families, boys from a young age were accustomed to the hard work of men. We are constantly afraid that something bad might happen to our sons, and we limit their initiative in every possible way and play it safe. As one of my friends stated, she is raising her son “for herself,” that is, the one that is convenient for her.
Psychologists advise such mothers to take a closer look at fathers walking with their children. Dads are close to the kids, but never shout: “Petya, move away from the slide! Don't climb the wall! They simply insure their children and, if necessary, help overcome obstacles. In a word, take a closer look and observe in what cases dads leave the decision to the discretion of the children, and when they do not give in one iota. And wind it not on a mustache, but on something else and try to follow the male example.
By the way, if mothers prefer calm or educational games, then fathers make fuss and confusion. And the boys like it so much! Maybe this is why children value communication with their father so much and often complain that they lack this communication.
This does not mean that you have to become a kind of man in a skirt. On the contrary, a woman is simply obliged to show her weakness, to give a man the opportunity to feel strong, even if this man is only five or six years old. And, by the way, psychologists say that every second homosexual was raised using harsh authoritarian methods. Weak mothers raise strong sons and vice versa.
But here it is very important not to go too far. There is no need to suppress the boy’s emotional impulses. Otherwise, he will become withdrawn, and you will kill the creativity in him. If a boy wants to dance, let him dance. This activity will not turn him into a girl. On the contrary, he will learn a chivalrous attitude towards girls.
Conclusions: It is better to raise a boy not with words, but with personal example. Praise your partner as often as possible little man, create situations where he could express himself with best side. Father and son should have “masculine” secrets and hobbies - long walks, housework, sawing or other masculine activities.
What toys do we choose?
We have already talked about dolls. A child aged three or four years old already needs to buy “male” toys. We are not talking about toy automatic pistols, but about sets that introduce kids to professions. Moreover, for boys, of course, it is better to choose subdued colors in both toys and clothes.
At five or six years old, boys show interest in instruments. Give your son a hammer and show him how to hammer a nail, let him try to handle a jigsaw or plane. Naturally, under the strict guidance of adults, but nevertheless independently. The sooner men start involving boys in men's affairs, the better. At first, just tell them what you are doing. Then ask for the tools. Let the child be in the wings. This will raise his self-esteem, the little one will feel involved in a serious adult matter. And again, encourage the impulse to participate in this kind of work. Even if not everything works out, but participation itself is important. Under no circumstances should you be discouraged and yell: “How awkward and incompetent you are! Don’t you understand how to hammer a nail?”
And the older the boy gets, the more often he needs to talk about his chivalrous attitude towards girls. Has your child noticed the difference between the anatomical structure of a boy and a girl? Well done! Tell him: “That's right, boys are different from girls. You are stronger, so you must give in to the girls, take care of them, not allow them to carry heavy things,” etc. and so on.
The image of a real man should live in the soul of every boy. Alas, cinema often offers completely different images that we should take as models. But in order for a boy to develop normally, the ideal must gradually find its embodiment in specific people. The hero must become his own, close. Alas, our sons often find no one other than the primitive heroes of American detective stories and action films as an example worthy of imitation.
What to do? Think about books. All Russian classical literature is built on such images. And the heroes of Gaidar, at least Malchish-Kibalchish, Lev Kassil, Anatoly Rybakov? Panteleev generally has a whole series of stories about exploits and heroes. In general, carefully review your library and film library and unobtrusively offer your son an image worthy of being imitated. The youthful craving for romanticism is ineradicable. This is a mandatory stage in the development of every personality. And even if the ideal is unattainable, you still need to strive for it. The bar cannot be lowered. Striving for better, the person himself becomes much better. The task of parents is to offer this model and support the craving for the ideal.
Conclusion: a mother should give her son as much of her mother's love and tenderness, teach him self-care skills. Then your son will never feel helpless, and your future daughter-in-law will mentally say “thank you” more than once or twice.
A father must show his son an example of respectful attitude towards a woman, not in words, but in deeds. Using the example of men, the son will learn to protect the weak, bear responsibility for his family and loved ones, and be independent.
The conclusion is final and irrevocable: if there is a real man in the family, you don’t have to worry about your son: in ninety cases out of a hundred, he will grow up the same.
Real men They are not born - they become them under the strict guidance of mom and dad. If you have a son, then your main task in life is to raise him so that he can proudly be called a real man - strong, self-confident, fair, decisive, tactful. How to do this?
Three stages of development
During his growing up period, a boy goes through three stages of development, becoming a little more mature with each stage.
1. First step– preschool age from birth to six years. At this time, great responsibility still lies with the mother, since the baby is very attached to her. During this period of his life, he should receive enough love, affection and a positive attitude for further movement and development.
2. The second stage is more conscious and lasts from 6 to 14 years. At this age, the child grows up intensively and acquires his first masculine skills and qualities. Here it’s time for the father to get involved in the work. He must set a good example for his son, since he carefully looks at him, his words, behavior, and actions.
3. The final stage of growing up ends with adulthood. During this period, the teenager needs to be involved in adult life, removing a significant part of his care from him, and actively teaching him respect, independence, and responsibility. It is important to maintain a trusting relationship with a teenager, to give him enough advice and information so that he does not listen too much to the opinions of his equally “unreasonable” friends.
These tips are for both moms and dads. These are the very basics of raising a little boy to become a real man, who will be the pride of his parents and the happiness of his future family.
The main qualities of a real man:
- Independent
- Purposeful
- Finds strength in difficult moments
- Knows how to deal with his complexes
- Does not belittle those who are weaker than him
- Not nervous
- He will stand up for his family and people close to him.
- Strength of character
- Must be responsible for his actions and actions
- Tries not to feel sorry for himself, or does not show it to others
A real man It may even be necessary for him to cry; it increases his courage and sense of justice.
I would like to start with the most common mistake of most parents. When a boy begins to cry from resentment or pain, he immediately hears reproaches addressed to him: “You’re crying like a girl! Men do not cry". This is not worth doing. Firstly, do not forget that there is no mature man, but a child who has not yet learned to express his negative emotions differently. Secondly, all mother’s and father’s words are deposited in the baby’s subconscious. As an adult, he will perceive tears as something shameful and disgraceful. And this will apply to women’s tears too. Question for women: do you like it when a man grimaces at the sight of your tears? That's it! You need to raise a real man, not a callous lout. So don't reproach him for crying, but explain to him that when he grows up, he will have to learn to hold back his tears.
Tip two. Strictness without affection is not an option
Another common misconception is that boys need to be kept strict. A certain amount of rigor is needed, but you need to know when to stop. Boys, no less than girls, need parental affection and praise. It is praise that forms the level of self-esteem in a child, and if he constantly hears only criticism, then you risk raising a closed, insecure, shy guy.
In addition, excessive severity can lead to the fact that a boy grows up to be extremely unemotional, unable to sympathize and empathize. Therefore, praise your little man for any achievement, no matter how small, make him feel that you believe in him and are proud of him.
From childhood, teach him to do real manly things. From an early age, teach to give up your seat in public transport older people should not offend those who are weaker than them. But at the same time, the boy must be able to stand up for himself, and not run to complain to his mother because of a conflict with a friend in the yard.
Instill in him the skills of a true gentleman. From an early age, he must realize that girls are weaker, so they cannot be offended, but they must be protected if something happens, even if he himself gets a few punches.
Teach respect for yourself personally. Let him help you carry your bags (while he is small - not heavy), do not make noise while you are resting, and do not ask you for something not urgent if he sees that you are very tired. If you don’t do all this now, then it will be almost impossible to correct the situation later.
Mothers can be advised not to raise their voices at their husbands in the presence of their son. It is clear that quarrels happen in every family, but a child should not see an example of humiliation of male dignity. And it is highly not recommended for a father to shout at his mother - everything should be tactful and calm. But if, in the presence of a child, as a result of a calm conversation you can come to a compromise, then this is simply wonderful.
The father has the difficult task of raising his son to be a jack of all trades. For starters, you can buy him a set of toy tools so that he can participate in minor repairs. And when he grows up, you can give him a small set of real screwdrivers and hammers. Boys love to saw, hammer, and plane. Teach him to this from childhood.
Let him know that helping his mother around the house is also very important and not shameful. Maybe someone thinks that washing dishes and floors is not a man’s job, but a child should do it from time to time. Mom may have a lot of small errands in her piggy bank - take out the trash, beat out the carpet, clean the table. Thriftiness is an important trait in a man.
Even many adults lack the ability to love. Therefore, try to instill in your child from childhood that loving a person means caring for him, helping him, supporting him, that is, showing your attitude through good deeds. Show him this by your example. You love him and do a lot for him. And if he loves someone, he must also help this person in everything. This quality is one of the most important not only in a man, but in any person.
Advice seventh. Confront childhood fears
Both girls and boys are equally susceptible to childhood fears. And it is imperative to fight this, since fear, left unattended, may not go away with age, but may develop into a phobia. Teach the boy to overcome his fears, but do not scold him for them. For every fear you overcome, be sure to reward it with generous praise.
This advice especially applies to fathers. The boy just needs a little fatherly attention, even if the head of the family spends almost the whole day at work. Find at least a little time to talk and do different things." men's affairs"with your son, even if it is to the detriment of your other personal affairs.
Tip nine. Don't forget about discipline
Discipline is indeed more important for boys than for girls. Make a daily routine - what time to get up, go to bed, have lunch, how much time to allocate for sleep, for games. Separate fun and responsibilities. He must firmly understand that all entertainment is only after fulfilling his duties. For example, first clean up the room and only then go for a walk. Strict discipline will greatly help him in his future adult life, teach him to plan his time and achieve his goals.
Children cannot do without abrasions, bruises, and scratches. Many grandmothers, and mothers too, admit a grave mistake, focusing attention on them. Never gasp or groan when you see a new scratch or bruise on your son. There's no point in scolding either. Just calmly treat the wound with an antiseptic and say in a joking tone that everything will pass soon.
Sports, Sports and more Sports
Sport develops strong qualities in a man. It develops diligence and willpower, and without willpower it will be difficult in sports. Increases discipline, well-being and good spirits.
Sports and movement are good mood! It is not necessary for a man to engage only in strength sports; in dancing there is no less strength and will. And you need to be able to combine brute force with intelligence.
Confidence and a little uncertainty
A man doesn't have to be confident. Overconfidence makes a man overconfident. There must be confidence in one’s abilities with a drop of doubt, and so in all matters, in order to correctly assess the situation, you need to doubt something.
IN modern world It often happens that a woman replaces both mother and father for her son. Of course, it’s not easy for her; she can be constantly haunted by doubts about whether she can replace her dad and raise her son to be a real man. Many women cope with this very well, but there still needs to be a male role model. Find someone in your environment that your son can look up to, and when the opportunity arises, set him as an example. It could be an uncle, a grandfather, or just yours good friend. If you follow the above tips, you will not have any problems with parenting.
Spend time with the child, communicate with him on masculine topics, be restrained, moderately cheerful, wise, generous, kind, and then the boy will grow up to be a good, kind and caring person.
A man is not one who tries to become stronger than others, constantly striving for competition, superiority in everything, first of all thinking about his family, the well-being of those who are dear to him, about himself. And then achieve your goals, but be wise in this. “Do not treat others as you would not want them to treat you.”
How to help his girlfriend become a real man?
If they begin to notice some shortcomings in your loved one, he cannot fully take responsibility, stand by his opinion, succumbs to weaknesses, your responsibilities as a woman are becoming wider in decision-making and family affairs, but you want to correct this position
Causes .
The reasons for this behavior of an adult man, a guy, are often the “fault” of his mother or another woman who took care of him; he can grow up without character, weak-willed and pliable, and not have his own opinion.
The role of the mother in such a matter as raising her son is very high, and any incorrect action can affect an adult.
Solution .
Praise his young man when he exhibits masculine character traits.
Force force your loved one make the final decision in some matters.
More often speak him, why he is better than others.
Manifest respect for a man.
Appreciate now those advantages that he has at the moment.
Try do not belittle him or be offended, give him time so that he can overcome himself in some way.
Do not take take on male responsibilities.
A girl should be wise enough to target in a guy those qualities that will be beneficial to both him and you.
