How to renew a relationship with your wife? Advice from psychologists on how to get your spouse back and revive your family. How to improve your relationship with your wife? Basic rules of family life

You are connected by a child, and not just love, although there is a lot of it in order to want to reunite with your wife. You have to fight for love, family, happiness and the future. Even if, in your own opinion, you made unforgivable mistakes, if you realize them and repent, then go for it. Nothing is impossible.

Psychologists advise that before taking care of your wife and child, take care of yourself. Only by being at peace with yourself can you seek peace with others. Why don't you go see a psychologist. It would not be superfluous. He will help you bring out what is hidden from within and learn more about yourself. Maybe when working with a psychologist a situation will happen that you will understand that you cannot be a family man. Be prepared for the biggest surprises.

Psychologists say that family is work. Men often expect comfort, love, and tranquility from their family. And the main thing here is that they wait, doing almost nothing for happiness. But only labor on both sides can give positive result. Perhaps this is what happened in your family: your wife fought like a fish against ice, trying her best, while you sat idly by. So this led to what it led to.

Psychologists are in favor of family reunification, and primarily because of the children. After all, they need both a father and a mother, and preferably relatives. Although if the parents’ father and mother are inadequate and socially dangerous individuals, psychologists will be against raising a child in such a family. If you are an adequate, mentally balanced father, then psychologists are on your side. So you will have to act for the sake of the child first of all and through him.

If your wife does not want to make contact, being offended by you, try to explain to her that you want to communicate with your child, that you want to give him money, a gift, sweets, whatever. For this reason, make an appointment, give your wife and child gifts, bring a cake, flowers. Offer to have a serious conversation. In this conversation with your wife, show sensitivity, take her hand in yours, ask for forgiveness, say that you must improve the relationship for the sake of the child, that together you need to get rid of the negativity. A woman is first and foremost a mother. She will accept reasonable arguments not to hurt her child. Although it will not be so easy for her to get rid of a woman’s resentment. And here you also need to work hard.

Establish contact with your wife gradually. Do not immediately insist on reunification and living together. Enter their territory. Offer to take a closer look at each other if you feel that she is not ready to trust you again. If finances allow, offer your wife and child a rented apartment so that they can live there more comfortably than with one of their relatives in an apartment. When you come to your wife for meetings, bring flowers every time, give gifts, behave like a true gentleman. Touch her heart with pleasant little things from your common past. For example, bring her the first love note that you once wrote to her, the first valentine, a postcard, show a photo collage of photographs in which you are happy and love each other.

Cheating, lying, refusal to help around the house can ruin a relationship in a matter of days., including sexual ones, between a man and a woman.

Restoring them later is not easy, and sometimes even impossible. Almost everyone knows why marriages fail, but not many men know how to restore relationships with their wives.

First, stop doing things that could ruin your relationship.

If you've been cheating on your spouse, just stop doing it. If you cheated on her, don't do it again. But telling your woman about the fact of betrayal or not is your own business. Of course, you don't need to say that you would be doing a bad thing by cheating on your wife and hiding it, but if it would benefit the relationship, why not? In the end, you won't cheat anymore.

Be gentle with her not only when you have done something wrong

Often, sudden advances on the part of a husband are perceived by a woman as an attempt to make amends for some kind of guilt.. It is quite possible that if you surround your spouse with tenderness and care, she will think the same. It's no problem. In response to the perplexed “Why is this suddenly?” or “Did you do something again?” answer affectionately “I just love you, stupid”. In this case, your Your relationship with your wife will sparkle with new colors.

Diversify your intimate relationships

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is very complex, but no one asks to delve into it. Better take care of yours intimate relationships. After all, women even at forty want to feel like women, and sex after many years life together often ceases to be a pleasure and is perceived solely as a marital duty. Diversify your sex life – this will definitely help restore your relationship with your wife.

To get your ex back, you need a comprehensive approach

If you want to restore your relationship with my ex wife, first think why did she decide to leave you?. Once you've dealt with this, do everything in your power to improve. If you weren’t satisfied in bed - become more sexual and savvy in this regard, if you dressed poorly - ask a designer you know to help you, if you didn’t know how to give compliments - learn. And then win her attention. This can be done by visiting those places where you loved to relax together. When ex will understand that you have changed in better side, she herself will make contact. Next is a matter of technology.

If she has made her final decision and is not going to let you into her personal space again, try to win her over and over again. Although you better think about it is the game worth the candle?. Sometimes it's better to step back and start looking new love . If you chose the Internet for this, register on Teamo.ru. Here you can find a match for yourself Serious relationships in the shortest possible time.

Just recently, the wife was nearby, and it seemed that happiness in marriage was inexhaustible, but today the spouses live separately. The reasons for divorce are different in each individual case. How to get your wife back after divorce? Should I resort to magic using a love spell, or should I delve into myself?

Before you learn how to get your wife back after divorce, you should understand her motivation. There are several reasons:

• lack of attention from the husband;
• cheating spouse;
• different views on life;
• a man's addiction to alcohol;
• absence of a child;
• jealousy;
• problems in intimate relationships.

Husband's inattention

After marriage, immersed in everyday routine, the relationship between spouses can deteriorate. Everyone carries out their duties, forgetting to devote time to each other, to talk heart to heart. Thus, the woman experiences a lack of affection and tenderness. If at the moment there is another man near her who is capable of giving her all this, she files for divorce.

Cheating husband

According to statistics, with age a man begins to look for entertainment on the side. He starts an affair, returns home late, comes up with various excuses. If for him this is ordinary flirting, the wife regards this situation much more seriously. It hurts her. The main mistake in in this case is that the husband does not think about his wife's feelings. As a result, when such an attitude becomes impossible to tolerate, the woman files for divorce. And only then does the man begin to realize the mistake, feeling lonely and abandoned, and tries to return his beloved wife.

Different views on life

Before the wedding, the relationship is going well. Love that overshadows other feelings does not allow us to adequately assess the situation. But when they fade a little, it turns out that the spouses have different views on life. Moreover, squabbles arise for various reasons. One fine day the wife can’t stand it and leaves.

Husband's addiction to alcohol

Unfortunately, today this is one of the most common causes of divorce. It is very difficult to be around an alcoholic; he begins to behave inappropriately, makes threats, and comes home late. A woman does not feel safe with such a husband. At first, the wife tries to help her loved one cope with the problem, they even use a love spell. Prayer also comes into play. Then, when their efforts have no effect, they leave. Often, after a certain time, a husband manages to make peace with his wife and convince her that he will improve.

But, as practice shows, in most cases divorce is inevitable. If something threatens the children, the woman does not think twice.

No children

Every woman dreams of becoming a mother. But when there is no child in the family, inferiority is felt. It’s one thing if conception does not occur for unknown reasons, although the spouses try, that’s one thing. But it’s a completely different matter when the husband is not ready for a child. In this case, the woman can leave her husband.

Jealousy

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Male jealousy Not unusual. In most cases, it is groundless, which the woman perceives as humiliation and mistrust. She endures as long as she has strength, love holds her. But when patience runs out, life with a jealous person becomes unbearable, she leaves.

Sexual incompatibility

Sometimes the relationship between spouses develops ideally, but their intimate life does not work out. If a man stops satisfying a woman in sex, this is a serious problem for her. The spouse perceives problems emotionally intimate life. She understands that a replacement can be found for her husband and soon does this by leaving for another man.

How to get your wife and child back? First of all, you should change yourself. Specific actions depend on the reason why the spouse left.

The subsided love can be revived; it is possible to regain the woman’s trust and restore the relationship. But a man needs to have the desire, desire, and strength to return his wife to the family. Some people are looking for a love spell or prayer, however, before asking for help from higher powers, you need to figure it out, change yourself in order to make peace with your wife. It is necessary to clearly understand that after a divorce a woman is ready to accept a new relationship. To get their wife back after a divorce, some men ask specialists for help. There are the following advice from a psychologist.

How to fix everything according to Orthodox laws?

Orthodoxy does not approve of family splits, especially if the relationship is confirmed by a wedding. According to the priests, in a situation close to divorce, it is worth turning to God. At the same time, a prayer is read. The husband must attend church and repent of his sins. It is advisable to read the Bible daily; be sure to say a prayer for the return of your wife and the preservation of the family. The main thing is openness and faith in God. When a prayer is read, one should ask for strength to forgive offenses.

Using magic

How to get your wife and child back? In such situations, a man is ready to do a lot, so he often turns to magic. Some of them use a love spell to make peace. Today it is known large quantities about rituals. Here's one love spell. Exactly at midnight you need to sit in front of a mirror with three church candles, a key with a lock and a photo of your wife. Say: “I want to make peace with my beloved. As soon as the key turns in the lock, my dear will return.” The key turns in the lock and is hidden in the morning.

Not only this love spell is known, there are many of them, one should not remember that magic can turn against a person, aggravating the situation even more. If anyone thinks that the wife will return of her own free will, she is very mistaken. This will not be done by a man through his actions, but by a love spell.

In addition, magic sometimes threatens life; using a love spell is highly discouraged.

Attention! Due to latest changes in legislation, the legal information in this article may be out of date! Our lawyer can advise you free of charge - write your question in the form below:

Question for a psychologist:

Hello, my name is G., I am 31 years old. I am married to N., she is 32. We have a son - 5 years old. Moscow city.

We met about 7 years ago, then I lived in rented apartment, worked at some enterprise. I met N., after 2 months of dating she moved in with me (around April). Not even that she moved, it was convenient for her to travel to work from my apartment (she herself is from the Moscow region), she often stayed with me for weeks, so we can say that we lived together. I think it was a happy time for both of us.

My character is something between a phlegmatic and a sanguine person. N. by nature is something between a melancholic and a choleric.

A year after we met, I had to move out of that apartment and temporarily (as I thought then) move in with my parents. N. quit her job at that time and found a job not far from my parents’ house (this happened by accident, she was not specifically looking in that area). We lived there for a while and she became pregnant, but this was not expected. For N. it was a big shock, she couldn’t come to her senses for some time, she didn’t want this child, she wanted to have an abortion, but in the end I and her mother talked her out of it, and she herself said that when she went to the doctor she couldn’t do it do.

We got married, a son was born and we began to live with my parents. N. didn’t want this, she wanted to go to her place so that her mother would help her, but I persuaded her, her mother took my side.

It fell on me to provide for my family and, as I understand now, I was completely unprepared for this, starting with the fact that my salary did not allow me to provide the style and standard of living to which we were accustomed before and ending with an understanding of what Small child. But I assured N. that I could handle it and everything would be resolved. As a result, at that time we agreed on the following: we live with my parents for some time, I save money and after a while we buy an apartment and move there. To make it clear: I had no start, I started everything from scratch. It seems that N. agreed, although now it seems to me that then she simply remained silent.

In the end, everything happened this way: the child (S.) was born, grew up, screamed, N. freaked out, spanked him, I came home from work, tried to help her, went for a walk with him. Our relationship was deteriorating. This was aggravated by the fact that she was in conflict with my parents, and by the fact that N. began to look for and find some more and more new deviations and sores in S. I will say right away that their presence is a rather controversial issue (I always believed that it was not it’s worth doing this and talked about it, we had strong scandals on this basis), not even that, they are most likely available, but to some minimal extent. N. believed that it was necessary to constantly go to consultations, treatment, and even went to the hospital with him for examination. As a result of all these actions, I now have firm confidence that S.’s quality of life will not deteriorate. N. does not have less anxiety; she seems to see that her fears are not coming true over time (at least it seems so to me). This continued from 2 to 4 years of his life.

To make it clear, we are talking about speech disorders and everything connected with it, including the work of brain centers and considerations. S. is now absolutely within the norm mentally, even slightly superior, has a rich imagination, is somewhat spoiled, but is (slightly) behind in physical development.

All this time I was trying to earn more, after 5 years we have now reached a certain standard of living. At the moment, we have come to the point where we have the money to buy an apartment, but our relationship has fallen to such a level that N. offered me a divorce. The whole time we lived, my relationship was going downhill. For my part, I can now say that there is no doubt my fault here - I did not give her a feeling of confidence that the problems would be solved, but brushed her off when the conversation turned to S. and his stuttering (of which there is no trace now, There are slight hesitations in speech, but they are insignificant). N. is still not working, the company from which she went on maternity leave has closed, new job she didn't find it.

Relations with my wife - good in appearance, bad in essence. During our last quarrel, N. screamed that she didn’t want to live with me, called me various names in every possible way, said that she would divorce me and take alimony from me, since I couldn’t give her anything more and, in principle, she didn’t need anything else from me. . As a result, she went to her mother (this was planned earlier). Afterwards we didn’t make up, but pretended as if nothing had happened, I went to see them there, talked with S. and N. and her mother. In any case, we will have a conversation about the future.

As a result, what we have now:

The resources to solve the housing problem (at least initially) are available.

In fact, there is no family, there are 2 separate people and their child. N. thinks that we are not together, I heard her talking to her friend on the phone.

I think it's because I didn't make her feel like she was protected. I forgot to add that N. constantly needs a hint on what to do. Before making any decision, she first calls me, then her mother, or vice versa. She is hampered by her perfectionism, never being able to buy something if there is more than one item to choose from.

In fact, I don’t need anyone to feel comfortable. That is, our interaction develops in this way: N. asks me questions to find out my opinion, so that I evaluate something, and at that moment I am busy with some thoughts, reading a book or surfing the Internet. It turns out that N. has to make an effort to get me out of my cave, she is dissatisfied with this, I don’t want this, but I obey, I am also dissatisfied and it turns out that two people dissatisfied with each other are communicating. What will happen is absolutely clear.

We communicate normally when each of us wants to do some common activity: sports, cinema, Board games etc.

We just haven't talked about everything in the world for a long time. There is some kind of block inside me, I can’t talk to N. for a long time, because I always start to get irritated by something, just like she does.

I think the general meaning of our relationship is clear. We both love our son. N. is very attached to him, constantly kisses and hugs him. He hasn't kissed me or hugged me for a long time. S., by the way, sleeps in our bed, since there is no room in the room for his bed. There has been no intimacy for a long time.

I understand that we need family therapy, but it only makes sense if both parties want it. I asked, she doesn't tell me directly.

I would like an answer to the following questions:

I want to build our family anew, where should I start - by restoring trust, how?

With the restoration of communication?

What should I do with my irritation with her?

I am also afraid that all the efforts I will make will be in vain, and I will be left without a family. This is my fear that I can't get rid of.

Psychologist Alexandra Aleksandrovna Opaleva answers the question.

Good afternoon, Grisha

Family therapy only really helps if both parties want it. I think it's best to have an honest discussion with your wife about your future together. Do not separate until you answer the question - is there any point in preserving the relationship? It is better to conduct the conversation without accusations. Even if you really want it and feel irritated. Your task is to decide what to do next.

Saving a marriage just for the sake of a child, in my opinion, is not right. If the parents live under the same roof, but are unhappy, the child will be unhappy.

If you come to a mutual decision that the family is worth saving, then past grievances need to be forgiven and forgotten. Start getting to know each other again. Go on dates, pay attention, remember your feelings for each other at the beginning of the relationship. At first, this behavior will seem unusual. Think of it as a game.

If the decision on safety is the opposite, do not allow accusations against each other. Letting go, of course, won't be easy. But respect for each other must be maintained.

Unfortunately, the issue of saving your family needs to be decided only by the two of you. No experts, friends or relatives should interfere with your decision.

5 Rating 5.00 (2 Votes)

Sometimes spouses who are in the most severe crisis, with a lot of resentment and anger at each other, come to us for consultation. But later it turns out that this is only one part of their relationship. The other is love, tenderness, affection, care and a sense of the value of the other spouse. But it is much more difficult for them to talk about these feelings. And when spouses stop talking about their love, the meaning of living together is lost.

Attention is a manifestation of love

To improve your relationship, it is important to find that secluded corner within yourself where your love is hidden. She needs to be raised carefully and carefully and shown to her partner. When you start expressing love, your partner responds to it over time and becomes more loving too. However, love is not demanded, it is given. There is no need to “force” your spouse to talk about love, there is various ways her expressions without the help of words.

The first way is touch. How long has it been since you touched each other tenderly? Do you want this? For touches to become a manifestation of love, they must be pleasant to the partner and express care and attention. There is no need to be zealous and smother each other in hugs. Sometimes we hug our partner when we ourselves want to be hugged. Be careful! If he (she) moves away from touching, if he doesn’t want it now, there is no need to insist and be offended. Maybe you need to wait for the right time, choose the right place, ask what kind of touches are pleasant to your spouse.

The second way is gifts. For gifts to be an expression of love, they should not be given for show, they should not be payment for something or the purchase of something. When giving a gift, you don't need to expect anything in return. Such gifts should be given when you want to please your spouse, and they are more pleasant than useful. If you took the time to prepare a gift, organized a special presentation ceremony, and present it in person, such a gift will be more valuable. A woman would be more pleased to receive flowers as a gift rather than a food processor, and a man would be more pleased to receive a football ticket rather than a shaving kit. A particularly valuable gift is the fulfillment of erotic fantasies. For a husband, a gift could be new attractive clothes for his wife, for a wife, the husband’s organization of a romantic dinner.

The third way is help. For help to be a manifestation of love, it must be voluntary and selfless. Try not to confuse it with an ultimatum or a mutual exchange agreement. The husband can help his wife with household chores, doing that part of them that he was not asked to do. A wife can help her husband realize his ideas: find the phone he needs on the Internet, support him with her faith in him.

The fourth way is words of encouragement. Over time, the good that spouses do in the family is taken for granted. A tradition is being created to perceive the fulfillment of your wishes as a norm that does not deserve attention. But mistakes are criticized and inflated to unimaginable proportions. This is typical for most of our families. Sometimes a husband or wife tries to do something differently, but is often met with criticism from the other spouse. This brings particular bitterness, resentment, desire for revenge, hopelessness and a feeling of loss of love into the relationship. The desire to please your partner disappears. So a thin thread of hope gradually winds up into a tangle of mutual resentment and anger.

If you take a close look at each other, you will probably discover what you like about your partner. Think about what you can thank each other for. For example, the husband provides for the family, plays with the children, and the wife raises the children and takes care of the house. Perhaps your partner has taken on a part of the collaboration that you particularly dislike. Recognize your partner's contribution to family life, praise him for what you like about him and his actions. Don't ignore your partner's efforts that please you. Say words of gratitude when you receive a gift, accept help with gratitude, say when you enjoy its touch. The more sincere your words, the more love your partner will feel it. Words of affirmation will not ruin it, but will allow you both to be happier.

The most surprising thing is that accepting positive feedback can also be quite difficult. Listen to yourself - what is easier for you to perceive: praise or blame? It happens that compliments and approval can confuse, cause anxiety and worry. This is explained by the fact that many in childhood are accustomed to receiving pokes and slaps on the head, and what is familiar is safe and therefore more comfortable.

The fifth way is time to communicate. When you make time for each other, you feel important and loved. Spending time with a person means paying attention to him, being in dialogue with him. If you begin to notice that you listen to your spouse “like the radio,” then think about what you lack to be absorbed in conversation with each other. Perhaps you don't listen well or are distracted by other problems? In order for your partner to understand that he is being heard, you need to look at him when he speaks, not do anything else at this time, be attentive to his feelings and not interrupt. If you do not understand what your husband or wife is saying, ask questions and show sincere interest in what your spouse is saying. It is very useful to speak only in the first person in such a dialogue. For example: “I’m so hungry that I can’t think of anything,” instead of “Well, how long can you wait for dinner?!”

In addition to talking, you can do something that you both enjoy, for example, cooking a holiday dinner or... skydiving.

Answer these questions for yourself. How often do you and your husband/wife stay together, just the two of you? When was the last time you talked not about children and affairs, but about your relationship? Do you want to be alone? If you want it, then the opportunity will definitely appear. There will be grandparents, nannies, kindergarten or something else. If you feel even the slightest bit of doubt and reluctance, ask yourself: “What might happen if you were suddenly alone and started talking to each other?” If the answer to this question is that there is no topic of conversation, then here is a hint where you can start discussing your relationship.

Say the "Marriage Contract"

In every relationship there is an unspoken "agreement". It may contain clauses regarding what common goals you have what each of you is responsible for in the family, how it is customary to communicate with each other, how to show love, what distance in a relationship is acceptable to you, etc. Unspoken agreements are rarely voiced, agreed upon or discussed. Both spouses evolve and change, and the original contract may not meet the needs of the spouses today. And then the agreement needs to be revised. Think about your contract, write down its clauses together. Discuss them. Are each of you satisfied with them? Are the requirements appropriate for the situation? For example, initially you had an unspoken contract about a shared wallet. But this agreement was made a long time ago, when there was little money in the family. Perhaps now each of you has a need to share finances, but you are silent about it, and don’t even know that your half wants the same thing as you. Remember the parable about how two elderly spouses wedding discovered the mistake of a lifetime. The husband thought: “All my life, taking care of my wife, I gave her the crust of bread that I love so much, today I can finally eat it myself.” My wife thought the same thing bread crumb. After that, they found out that the wife liked the crumb all her life, and the husband liked the crust.

Check your guesses about your partner, bring clarity to the relationship

Sometimes communication with a spouse leaves a bitter aftertaste of resentment or disappointment, anger or fear. In this case, you can try not to avoid further interaction, but to clarify what happened. It is important to talk about yourself and your experiences and listen carefully to your partner. Describe your feelings and the actions of your partner that caused these feelings.

Let's say you hug your husband while he plays on the computer. He says irritably, “Go away.” You may get offended and stop talking, sulk and wait for your husband to feel guilty and pay attention to you. And you may even decide that your husband has completely stopped loving you. Or you can wait until he comes out from behind the computer and ask about his feelings and attitude towards you, i.e. test your fantasies. Perhaps you will find out that your husband loves you very much, but now he is just tired and resting like that.

And remember that if your spouse is angry and yells at you, this does not mean that he does not love or accept you at all. Each person has different, sometimes directly opposite, feelings even for the closest people. We can hate our partner and love him passionately, sometimes feel tenderness for him, and sometimes fear rejection.

Pause in conflict

In a conflict of interest, when the partners’ feelings are very strong, each spouse wants to insist on their own and win. The loser is forced to sacrifice his interests. However, this is why a family is needed to satisfy the needs of all its members as fully as possible. When just one loses, the whole family loses. When your emotions overwhelm you and you start insulting each other, pause the conversation. Explain to your partner that you need a break to calm down and think. Listen to yourself. What is stopping you from understanding your partner now? Think about what you want. What do you feel? Think about your partner, what does he want, what feelings does he have? Try to understand his positive intentions. It is unlikely that he lives with you to ruin your life. And when you calm down, tell your partner what you understand. Talk about your feelings, your desires. Ask him if you understand him correctly. Then, when making decisions, you will be able to take into account both your interests and the interests of your partner.

Explore the give-receive balance

Respect each other's needs. Try to apply to your family the idea that each of you can have maximum pleasure, and for this it is not necessary to suffer. Explore together the balance of your give-and-receive relationship. Partners are especially happy with each other when they both feel that they are getting a little more in the relationship than they are giving. In order not to find yourself in a situation where one of you has only pleasures on the side, and only responsibilities on the other’s side, each of you needs to defend your desires. This can lead to your spouse being angry that you are selfish and completely unwilling to think or care about them. Do not be afraid of this anger, it does not mean the loss of love, but your willingness to fight for love and happiness.

We hope that you will not only use these recommendations, but also come up with your own ways to grow and preserve warm feelings to each other.

Yulia Dunaeva
Olga Vasilyeva

Discussion

The article is like a sip fresh air. While reading, it calms you down and allows you to put all your thoughts in your head on the shelves where they should be. Reminds us of why it all began. Many points are known and understandable, but in the everyday bustle, all feelings and thoughts get mixed up. In this case, it is difficult for a person to understand what he wants from himself and the loved ones around him. It’s a good idea to write down the points of this article in your head and look at them periodically. Then you can rethink your behavior, desires and feelings, and realize your mistakes. I’ll be happy to show the article to my wife so that she doesn’t forget who we are to each other.
Thanks to the author.

A brief retelling of the book “5 Love Languages” :) No, it’s useful, of course, but only if both want it.

Everything is certainly well written. Interestingly, I tried all the methods. But... it turned out that this was a one-sided game. He took the path of least resistance - he left.

One most important detail is not taken into account: when there are both changes, then you can look for ways. Usually one person wants to save the marriage, but the other does not. Such articles are apparently written by students :) And as you know, the best narcologist is a recovered alcoholic...

Comment on the article "How to get love back?"

Maybe we've been together too long and that's why old feelings faded away...Girls, how to get it back I don’t want to lose my husband, he’s very good the person is kind, lacquered, but the same. My husband and I also had a very friendly and calm relationship for two years, without quarrels, without sex.

Discussion

Most likely he has been banging someone for a long time. And of course he loves you, but since he doesn’t get what he needs with you, he probably takes it from someone else. Well, or it will happen soon.

My husband and I have been friends and parents for many years, without marital relations. Complete harmony, he doesn’t want it, but I don’t need it :)) I don’t worry, he’s a reliable person, an excellent father.

Webinar “Crisis of family relations. How to improve family relationships? I was able to get my husband back. Due to the nature of my employment, I am quite a lot Section: What to do? (how to bring your husband back to life in a crisis). I look bad (no, well, I put on makeup for work - it seems okay, but in the morning...

Discussion

I'm a little older than you. I am sharing my own, very recent experience. I was hit with exactly the same thing this fall, although I love the job (apparently professional burnout), and the children are golden, and in family life everything is quiet.

I decided to act this way: I’ve been working with my head all my life, now I’ll work with my hands for a change. I remembered that 30 years ago my grandmother taught me to knit, I took the book “Household Economics” that my grandmother had left behind and refreshed my knowledge. I found a model for a blouse and literally began to devote every free minute to knitting.

At first it was very difficult, I dissolved the already connected rows several times, but, oddly enough, it was this struggle with difficulties that distracted me from heavy thoughts. And when it started to work out, it gave me strength: I can create beautiful thing. I bought more books on knitting and improved my work so that now it’s a pleasure to look at.

Little by little, I decided to aim for more: the blouse began to turn into a dress. But my hands were already moving mechanically, and I became bored with knitting looking only at the knitting needles. I started downloading various films that are considered masterpieces of world cinema, but which I somehow didn’t have time to watch before, and I knitted, looking at the screen with one eye. I got a lot of emotions from watching a really great movie.

Sitting for a long time at the knitting needles began to strain my back, and I drove myself to the pool, where I began to walk with pleasure and lose weight. Meanwhile, my health was getting better and better - both psychological and physical. The whole family has gained new respect for me for the dress that will be ready soon. And I became so interested in working with wool that I signed up for art felting courses and am going to make my own jewelry and clothes. And what if my products can ever be monetized!..

This is just one of the possible recipes, but in my case it really worked. I wish you to find yours too!

Engage in community service. Do not want? Well, okay, move on with your life as you want.

Sexual relationships: love and sex, husband and wife, lover and mistress, contraception, family. I would like to hear advice on what could have happened, can I return it and is it worth doing? Off: have you already returned from your business trip? still no answer from you...

Discussion

If the question arises “is it worth it”, it means you don’t really want it. Because if life is not nice without her, the question “is it worth it” does not arise. And so... "calling your love little novel, such that not so many others would guess, so that the heart and pocket would not be too empty."
And “how to do it” depends on the aunt. You need to grab one and not let go, the other, on the contrary, let go and be close, but at a distance... And there are also intermediate options...
But “whether you can” - the gods only know :-)

“Can I return it and is it worth it?” - for 35 year old man(and even on a women’s forum) - some stupid way of asking the question, reeks of adolescence...

How to add ease to a relationship? For a long time I couldn’t formulate for myself what was wrong. Eat happy marriage about 10 years, wonderful children, prosperity, absence of global unresolved problems, but... during all this time, grievances appeared, claims that the husband was not enough...

Discussion

look closely and see that not only does he have a straw in his eye, but he himself has a whole log. I’m serious - we all remember very well what “he forgot/didn’t pay attention to,” but we forgive ourselves 10 times more (just don’t tell me how you don’t forget to iron his shirts or feed him treats, I’m talking about the fact that HE would have wanted, but did not receive from you, that something that would have been ignored or rejected as “I don’t want to know” to him is perhaps more expensive than all the goodies and shirts... and nothing, he has forgiven you , does not bear grudges)

Pardon my tediousness, but behind every insult there is an unspoken demand. Since you have come here, you can here, but in general it’s enough for yourself: take a sheet of paper and write down the insult and the demand that stands behind it, and so on until the demands that you have for your husband stand out (because most grievances will be related to one or two basic demands). Then you voice your demands, that is, say them in private. How do they sound? Fine? Again, most often behind the grievances there are demands that sound either utopian or... And you just do it! If you get real demands, you can talk about them with your husband, if they are unrealistic, you yourself will laugh and there will be less resentment. If you doubt how realistic the requirement is, write here :))

How to return love? Wife and husband. Family relationships. It would be strange if he still died, taking her hand. Although they love each other unconditionally, I How to get my husband's love back? It so happened that a chasm appeared in our relationship, through my fault.

Discussion

The same...
This is probably normal. Over time, you begin to perceive your husband as a relative. I want romance! ;) I personally don't see anything wrong with light flirting, in principle, and in a lover, as such, only it is up to everyone to decide for themselves whether this is acceptable or not. For example, flirting is enough for me. In general, we all use each other to a greater or lesser extent.

In general, some kind of shake-up is needed, both of them. But in general, well, you can’t burn with passion for the same person for 30 years in a row, it doesn’t work. Passion, love - at the first stage, after 3 years it either ends or moves to a new level. My grandparents lived together for almost 70 years. It would be strange if he still died, taking her hand. Although they love each other unconditionally, I am sure that they would not have survived without each other, and both very touchingly and tenderly look after each other during all sorts of illnesses (which at their age, alas, follow one another). It's just a different level of love - more mature.
If you want to fall in love again, you need to get into a situation in which you would get to know your husband from the other side. Those. Now it seems to you that you know him like crazy, but then - oh-pa! - some new facets have opened up, and positive ones. Those. We need some kind of joint extreme sport and it is advisable that he accomplish a couple of feats before your eyes :)
As for that other man, perhaps you like him while you don’t know him well. Maybe he snores disgustingly at night, and his breath stinks in the morning? :(
And your husband is like air. We also get used to the air, and we don’t notice or appreciate it, but take it away and it lasts longer than 5 seconds. no one will live. So you are used to it, but you don’t imagine that you can, for example, lose it, and then a large piece will be torn out of your life, and it will be very difficult to restore it. difficult. SO think about it. We don't appreciate the good things we have.

How to bring newness to a relationship. 7ya.ru - information project on family issues: pregnancy How to return love? This brings special bitterness, resentment, and a desire for revenge into the relationship. Girls, please share, how can you bring something new into your relationship with your husband?

Discussion

Hello everyone and thank you for your understanding. Indeed, when a woman is not busy with anything except the child and the house, and before that she was an ardently active person in life, it is very difficult not to find a reason that can upset her. Stockings and drugs are simply unacceptable to me, it’s just somehow stupid. After all, family life is not only about sex. At least for me. And we don’t have grandmothers in Moscow, there is no one to leave the child with, while, as some suggested, you can hide in the bushes with your husband in the forest. Childishness doesn't go away like that anymore. We are adults, wealthy people who have everything, but who have simply lost the taste for life and each other. Previously, we worked together with my husband, we had two pairs of boots, but after my birth he began to pull the cart himself, and I miss this very cart :)). Artificially inventing entertainment for myself is not for me - shopping trips, salons, etc. I’m used to just living in such a way that everything cool and interesting comes by itself, but now, it turns out, you need to invent everything in order to entertain yourself, your beloved... Ugh, how disgusting. I don’t want to hand over my child to nannies, but we still have 2-3 months at home before kindergarten. I can't tear myself away from him. I hired a wonderful nanny for a trial, but I couldn’t cope with it psychologically. While they were walking, I sat at home, shedding tears. That's it. Everyone is different.

The relationship cannot be returned. This is "fantastic, son." But you can build them again. Still, the question is different: how to win a person over to your side if he seems to doubt to some extent that he is not ready to return, but on the other hand he is completely confident in...

Discussion

Why does all this need to be returned? A?
Probably an acute shortage of endless quarrels?
I would go to church, light a candle and praise the Lord that it “broke off” in just a couple of years!
The present is a good thing, but you shouldn’t forget about the future, because it definitely promises to be good.