• A restless child. Advice from a psychologist. Restlessness. When should you consult a doctor?

    12.08.2019

    My son is 2.9, my second child. The child is very active, but his restlessness and capriciousness frightens him. Lately I've started talking over each other - I talk, and he repeats. Restlessness manifests itself in games and activities in kindergarten. The child lasts for 2-5 minutes. Then attention switches to something else. Capriciousness manifests itself in relationships with sister and grandmother. He starts screaming, kicking the floor, spinning around on the floor if everything doesn’t go his way. We try to work with our son, but it seems to me that all the attention is paid to him, we spoil him. He cannot play alone, he is constantly on the move, he needs to be with someone. His behavior is very frightening. Psychology says that a child’s character is formed by the age of three. What should we do next? How to instill perseverance? How to remove moodiness? Thanks for the advice. (Irina)

    Answer:

    Hello Irina. Thanks for the question. Don't be scared, Irina. If we all had the same character as when we were three years old, we would not be who we are now. Personality nevertheless develops continuously, although, of course, the skeleton (a person’s character traits, value system, life views is laid down in childhood and adolescence). But, as we know, no development is possible without personal crises. (Crisis of the first year of life, 3 years, seven years, teenage crisis, midlife crisis, etc.).

    Your son’s age period just falls into a crisis period. Let's remember that the crisis of three years is characterized by:

    • stubbornness
    • negativism
    • obstinacy
    • neurotic behavior (night terrors, bedwetting, difficulty speaking, stuttering in speech, etc.)
    • hypobulic seizures, i.e. a peculiar type of seizures that superficially resemble seizures, but in fact are not seizures in the literal sense of the word (the child shakes, throws himself on the floor, knocks his arms and legs).

    But besides this, this period is characterized by:

    1. the development of will and the associated sense of independence and self-sufficiency. If the will is not given the opportunity to form, feelings of shame and uncertainty will take its place.
    2. pride in achievements. That is, the ability to persistently and purposefully strive for the goal he has set, despite difficulties and failures. Only in this case it is very important that adults see and approve this victory. If this does not happen, the value of the achievement falls catastrophically... It must also be taken into account that the feeling of pride is combined at this age with a heightened sense of self-esteem. And hence - increased sensitivity, emotionality and sensitivity to the extent to which parents and other people important to the child recognize his achievements.
    3. development of the ability to isolate, separate from others. The child trains this ability in the same actions that develop independence. Indeed, at the moment of his childhood confrontation, he deeply experiences a feeling of isolation... and sometimes rejection from adults caused by his “bad behavior”
    4. development of sensitivity and sensitivity to the feelings of others. If I do this, how will my mother react? What if it’s like this?... Constant checking, observations and conclusions... Thus (if parents help, of course) the young researcher of human relations learns both positive communication skills and acceptable (peaceful) forms of isolation from others.
    5. development of reflection. In general, he only recently discovered that he is him. Separate from others, able to influence the environment. And now he begins to compare himself with others. And your attitude towards yourself depends on your own achievements.
    6. The limits of what is permitted are being checked. Constantly finding out what is “possible” and what is “not possible”.

    Thus, in each of our crises there is still more positive than negative. This is true. Although, of course, it is not easy for a parent during this period. Parents also have their own crisis. It takes a lot of patience and love.

    It is believed that the more acute and vivid the three-year crisis, the more firmly the child’s strong-willed character traits will be formed and strengthened, because this crisis is the birth of his “I”, the birth of self-awareness at a different level: the child begins to become more aware of himself (his desires and needs) and the outside world. Consequently, the more the child’s desires, initiative and activity are suppressed, the worse this will affect both the child’s development (mental and personal), and how the grown child will perceive the world in the future, on his future position in life.

    The specificity of this crisis and crisis reactions is that the child is ready for a new stage of his activity (wants to be more independent, active, proactive, more independent of his parents, let’s say, “more mature”), and his parents continue to treat him as a dependent child who, without his mother or father, cannot do anything on his own. Indeed, a child at this age is not yet so independent as to be given absolute freedom, but the crisis reactions that the child himself demonstrates indicate that a wider field of activity is required than is available. the child needs a “different” attitude towards him, no longer like a baby.

    Therefore it will be very important:

    1. remember that such “terrible” behavior of children is not their conscious choice, but is a consequence of certain developmental patterns. This is exactly how a child realizes and realizes his independence, learns to regulate his desires and reactions. Important! Share, emphasize and encourage the child’s useful initiatives (watering flowers, washing the floor, etc.)! Important! Offer your help unobtrusively and slowly (step by step) demonstrate the skills to the child.
    2. According to the observations of parents and specialists, negative reactions increase when a child is either left to himself for too long and thereby demands attention to himself or thus “escapes” the overprotection of significant adults. In this regard, it is still important to exercise moderation in your interaction with the child (What is the extent of your relationship with him and where is it? - this is more a question of either an in-person psychological consultation or your maternal instinct, which never deceives if you listen carefully to it ).
    3. If a child does not ask for help, do not interfere in his children's affairs.
    4. Determine a few constant rules that ensure the safety of the child and others. There should be few of them. (You can’t play on the roadway, you have to sleep during the day...) And in all other cases, act more flexible. How exactly - this is already an area for trial and error for parents. But who knows better than you what will work with your baby?
    • use the “Come on together!” technique. Let’s go wash up together, and we’ll also grab a teddy bear...
    • technique “I can’t do it... Help me, honey”
    • you can leave him freedom of choice, but within the framework you set: “Are you going to eat pasta or porridge? »Which plate - blue or with boats? Are we going to walk in the yard or go to the park?”
    • perhaps just retreat for a while: if you don’t want to eat, don’t. Let him mature for his own decision.
    • offer safe replacement in case negative action. Tearing up books? And in response: “Oh, how interesting it is to tear paper. And I think newspapers are even more interesting. We have to try... but I don’t remember where they are... Sasha, don’t you remember?..."
  • Treat your child as an equal. Ask his opinion, ask permission to use his things, say “thank you” in response to his services... This way you will not only reduce his desire to be stubborn, but also set a good example for others to follow.
  • Hysterics. If in earlier years of life the cause of a baby’s hysteria was fatigue or overexcitement, now it is a method of manipulation. Therefore, we firmly and confidently say “NO” to the demand and deprive the child of attention. Exhorting a child or trying to explain anything to him is absolutely pointless. He still can't hear you. All that remains is to let him finish the hysteria on his own and not let him get what he is seeking in this way - attention, things, actions from you. Just remember that shouting and slapping are also attention. Even if it’s negative, it’s at least something. Therefore, if you give in or he receives attention, he will continue to use this tool of influence. Special masters of hysterics fall on the floor especially competently: in a puddle or in the middle of a crowd of people. In this case, we carefully move the obstinate animal to a drier or less crowded place and place it in the same position as we took it. Calmed down? That is great. Notations and swearing have no effect. It is much more productive to use a message about your feelings: “I always feel very bad when my son falls on the floor in the store and screams.”
  • But in addition to this reason (three-year-old crisis), the changes you described in the behavior of a three-year-old child may also be associated with going to kindergarten, with the appearance of a younger brother/sister in the house, with the appearance of another family member (although in your family your son is the youngest). This is also important to consider.

    Your main question is “How to remove moodiness?” I propose to rephrase this as follows: “What can I do as a parent to make moodiness less severe? How can I help my child survive? crisis period?”, because you can’t remove moodiness, just like you can’t remove any other mental manifestations (they either exist or they don’t). It is important for the parent and the child to learn to deal with this and OVERCOME. This is the main thing. What should you do as a parent is described above in the recommendations.

    Patience to you, Irina! Your anxiety was felt from the letter (“What to do next? “The behavior is frightening...”, “the capriciousness and restlessness is frightening...”). If you are looking for solutions for yourself and your child, and do not stop with what you have, it means that you are already mature in many ways and wise mother, who is constantly improving herself as a parent, and therefore as a person. You are well done!

    IN OUR CLASS

    Galina MONINA,
    candidate of pedagogical sciences,
    children's practical psychologist,
    Lecturer at St. Petersburg University
    pedagogical excellence

    Inattentive, restless, impulsive

    The behavior of a child suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is quite amenable to correction. Only teachers and parents need to know how to tackle this

    Many children are restless. They chat in class, spin around, reach out, jumping in place. We make comments to them, although in our hearts we sympathize: these are children, it’s hard for them to sit still, decorously waiting to be asked. But lately, more and more often, there are guys who cannot sit at their desk for even five minutes. They do not listen to a single task or question to the end. Such a child can nullify all the teacher’s efforts in the lesson.
    What to do? Give bad marks, call parents, send the troublemaker to the principal? Better not: the student is not to blame...

    What is ADHD

    ADHD occurs quite often in children: from 5 to 20% (according to various experts), and more often in boys. It is believed that the lower limit for identifying ADHD is the age of 3–4 years, but the first manifestations are often detected already in the first year of life. Peaks in the manifestation of symptoms, as a rule, occur during the child’s age-related crises (3 years, 7 years, 14 years).

    Child with ADHD at school

    Despite a sufficient level of development and readiness for school, children with ADHD often find themselves, as Michael Grinder puts it, thrown out of the “school conveyor belt.” Sometimes learning difficulties begin as early as first grade and continue until graduation. At the same time, there is a high probability of falling behind in studies, repeating a year, behavioral disorders, and refusal to study at school. Probability of successful ending high school and these children are less likely to enroll in higher education than their peers.
    Many children with ADHD have disturbances in speech development and difficulties in developing reading, writing and arithmetic skills. 66% of the children examined showed signs of dyslexia and dysgraphia, 61% - signs of dyscalculia.
    During lessons, they are quickly distracted, do not know how to work in a group, do not complete the task they start, and interfere with their classmates. A child with ADHD already 7-8 minutes after the start of the lesson shows motor restlessness and loses attention. Often, in an effort to attract the attention of the teacher and classmates, he achieves this in the only way known and available to him, playing the role of the “class jester.”

    Specifics of teaching schoolchildren with ADHD

    Despite the fact that ADHD is a medical diagnosis and only a doctor should treat a child, a teacher can greatly help a child adapt to school conditions and become successful.
    The peculiarity of teaching a child with ADHD is that measures pedagogical impact It will bear fruit only if it is systematically applied. As a rule, single events, even if they involve medical specialists, teachers, parents and psychologists, will not lead to the expected result.
    The syndrome can manifest itself in different ways. In some children it predominates
    hyperactivity, others primarily suffer from attention disorder, while others suffer from both. Therefore, it is necessary to identify the dominant symptom and build corrective work in stages. Based on the child’s strengths, the teacher and psychologist begin with one separate function. When sustainable positive results are achieved, you can move on to training two functions simultaneously, for example, attention deficit and control motor activity. And only then can you use exercises that develop all three deficit functions simultaneously.
    The gradualism in the teacher’s work will also be manifested in the fact that at first, in an effort to ensure that the child completes the entire task, the teacher can reduce the requirements for accuracy.
    Teachers and parents must be prepared for the fact that correctional work with a child with ADHD will be long-term.
    Another the most important principle working with hyperactive children - an individual approach.

    Increasing learning motivation

    Promotion must be real, causing an incentive to work. To do this, the teacher needs to find out what the child likes to do, what he dreams about, what he hopes for. To do this, you can invite children to draw a picture (in primary school) or write a mini-essay on the topic “A Tale of a Good Life”, “The Happiest Day”, “I Love and I Don’t Love”, “Who is the Happiest in the World”. Praise for a teacher should not be exaggerated. As practice shows, praise and encouragement are much more effective than comments.
    In a school setting, incentives can include: the ability to choose a task, helping the teacher check notebooks, the role of a “time keeper” in the classroom, the opportunity to write on the blackboard during a break or in class, and completing a written assignment on the computer.
    It is important for children with ADHD to improve their self-esteem. To do this, the teacher can draw the attention of classmates to the achievements of a child with ADHD, develop the skill of reflection (analysis at the end of the working day, week “What did I do well”), teach the child to compare recent achievements with his own successes a week, a month before the event. At the same time, it is unacceptable to compare him with his peers!
    The teacher should choose tasks that are feasible for this child, taking into account his capabilities (individual worksheets). A new task can only be offered after the previous one has been completed; Divide a large exercise into several smaller tasks.
    Instead of endless comments, the teacher’s use of “secret” signs previously agreed upon with the child—signals about the need to change behavior—makes the child’s life much easier.

    How to take into account psychophysiological characteristics

    Multisensory approach: Children with a visual type of perception more easily absorb material by seeing it before their eyes (text, pictures, diagrams), with an auditory type - by ear and in the process of oral discussions, with a kinesthetic type - by moving, touching. The teacher needs to rely on the child’s strengths (use abilities rather than correct shortcomings, provide the opportunity to decide learning objectives in any way accessible to the child). It is advisable to organize training and testing of knowledge based on the child’s most pronounced learning styles, and consolidation - on weaker ones.
    When working it is necessary change of activities depending on the degree of fatigue of the child.
    We must not forget about the motor needs of such children. They can be given assignments that require physical activity: hand out notebooks, erase the board.
    An integral part of the work will be reduced requirements for accuracy in the first stages of training. The child should be praised for work done a little more accurately than the previous one.
    Children with ADHD should be offered from time to time relaxation exercises and removing muscle tension (massage of hands, finger games).
    Teacher Instructions must be clear and terse; the tone is neutral, words and phrases are understandable to the child (as practice has shown, sometimes children understand even the words we know and often use differently than we expect).
    Knowledge test It is best to teach a student with ADHD at the beginning of the lesson.
    Better to avoid categorical prohibitions.
    Explain the material If necessary, the child should be treated individually (one on one).
    Reduce volume handwritten texts can be achieved through the use of workbooks, performing some exercises on the computer, abandoning the practice of “rewriting” sloppy work, and avoiding drafts.
    The child must be provided with immediate feedback: rewards, punishments - immediately following the event.
    Children with ADHD feel more comfortable if the teacher follows clear time intervals the beginning and end of the lesson. It is unacceptable to deprive children of active recreation during recess as a punishment.
    Children with attention disorders need clear (but not offensive) control: regular checking of notebooks, diaries, oral questioning.
    If possible, a hyperactive child should be seated at the first desk, where it is easier for the teacher to control his behavior, and there are fewer “spectators” around him and fewer opportunities for distraction.
    It is necessary to correlate the volume educational material with the child's attention span. Don't forget to reduce the task for him, give Extra time To complete what you start, provide breaks between tasks that require active attention. In a short period of time, such children can only learn a small amount of new material.

    Development of functions

    • You can increase the level of attention by using exercises for concentration: “Find a mistake”, “Check yourself and your neighbor”.
    • For hyperactive children, work to reduce impulsivity is necessary. For example, you can call the person who raised his hand last to the board and give the “Silent Answer” task.
    • It is also necessary to reduce destructive motor activity and teach self-control skills. For example, in the exercise game “Freeze” or “Waves”.
    • The teacher should help the child find his own style educational activities, teach him the skill of monitoring the completion of tasks.
    • Self-control skills are no less important: after the teacher’s instructions, the child duplicates his words, turning to classmates who also have to complete the same task. In the case of individual work, the child gives himself advice before starting it: what, in his opinion, needs to be paid attention to when completing the task. If necessary, the child, with the help of an adult (or independently), draws up a written algorithm in accordance with which he will work.
    • You can teach your child planning skills like this: invite him to make a list of necessary actions and sequentially cross them off after completion.

    Teaching constructive forms of interaction

    • A child may well learn to express anger in an acceptable form: sometimes he reacts inappropriately to a situation because he does not know how to do otherwise.
    • The teacher must constantly demonstrate non-aggressive behavior, a friendly, calm attitude.
    • A child can and should be taught constructive ways to resolve conflicts in the classroom and adequate ways to express requests to the teacher and classmates.

    As practice shows, using these principles and techniques for interacting with hyperactive children in the classroom helps them adapt to school conditions, identify their own strengths and become successful students.

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    Kryukova S.V., Slobodyanik N.S. I am surprised, angry, afraid, boastful and happy. Programs emotional development preschool and younger children school age. M., 1999.
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    Your opinion

    We will be grateful if you find the time to express your opinion about this article and your impressions of it. Thank you.

    "First of September"

    A child's hyperactivity and restlessness often cause too much trouble for his parents. After all, they don’t have so much strength and energy to follow every step of their nimble little sneak. This situation is not the most in the best possible way affects the emotional, psychological and physical condition parents.

    And, therefore, on relationships in the family as a whole. After all, in the background chronic fatigue parents become more aggressive, irritable and try to pacify their overly active child in every possible way.

    Reproaching a child for his hyperactivity is as pointless as punishing him for it. With the proper approach and a maximum reserve of patience, such a feature of behavior can be directed in a more “peaceful” direction or, over time, simply reduced to nothing.

    In order to cope with an overly active child, psychologists advise not to scold him (unless he really did something reprehensible). Shouting and threats, as a rule, will not achieve anything except the opposite result. In extreme cases, you will only intimidate your offspring, which will entail a whole series of additional behavioral problems.

    First of all, try to understand the reasons for your child's increased activity. There may be several of them. And depending on the root cause, you should choose a scenario according to which you will influence your child.

    Reasons for restlessness

    Among the main factors due to which a child does not have perseverance, the following should be highlighted:

    • The child is unable to cope with the regulation of his motor functions. In this case, his activity and tirelessness are caused not by the fact that he wants to annoy an adult and because of this does not stop running around the room, but because he simply cannot do it on his own.
    • Your baby cannot concentrate on the same action for a long time. Almost all children are not able to do one thing for a long time, this is no secret to anyone. But if your child is not able to sit for even five minutes at the same activity, but grabs onto everything indiscriminately, then in this case parents should pay special attention to this.
    • And finally, your child may simply be too active due to the fact that he really has nowhere to put the energy that is splashing over the edge.

    How to deal with restlessness?

    Methods of dealing with restlessness in a child depend on the cause of such behavior disorder.

    • WITH Give your child a calm atmosphere. In cases where a child cannot independently regulate his motor functions, parents have to take on the role of “regulators.” It is extremely necessary to create a daily routine for such a child and strictly follow all its points. If you agreed that at 8 o’clock in the evening you bathe him, read him a bedtime story, and he falls asleep, then that’s how it should be. No “buts”, “good reasons” and “five minutes”. A regime is a regime.

    Create a hyper-predictable microworld for your hyperactive child. All things should be in their place, everything should be predictable, simple and understandable. To any situation that goes beyond the understanding of your baby, he will react with useless fuss - screaming, running, stamping his feet.

    Therefore, if your child is too active for no reason, it means that he is scared, excited or irritated by something. He just can't express his emotions any other way yet.

    In order to organize your baby’s microworld to the maximum, it is not enough just to have order in the house and a certain algorithm of actions before bed. As many rituals as possible should be created for it.

    Firstly, it can be interesting for the baby himself, especially if these rituals are presented in some kind of playful or fairy-tale form. Secondly, rituals create the most rigid daily routine, from which, if structured correctly, the child himself will not want to deviate.

    • Give your child individual lessons that focus their attention. . In cases where a child cannot concentrate on something specific, parents should be wary. Inattention manifests itself differently depending on individual characteristics child.

    The reason that a child does not want to participate in games or activities with other children may lie in the following: the child is simply not able to keep track of everything at once, and cannot complete the tasks that are required of him. Although at home he can do the same things and with great pleasure.

    The fact is that in the classroom teachers try to unify tasks so that everyone does the same action. And at this moment the baby does not want to, for example, sculpt a cat out of plasticine; he would rather sit in a corner and look through the pictures in an interesting book.

    There is also another side to this coin. The child participates in activities with other children, but constantly interferes with them, distracts them, pesters them with conversations, bullies or teases them. Experienced teachers, having noticed this child’s behavior, most often distract him from some more useful activities.

    Let's say, instead of sculpting the same plasticine cat, he is asked to bring something, water flowers, help with something, or go somewhere. As a rule, this model of adult behavior fully justifies itself in relation to hyperactive children who are unable to concentrate on one thing.

    Psychologists advise parents, first of all, not to send their hyperactive children to school-type children's groups, where the children all sit together at desks and do one task for everyone. At least until the age of 6, hyperactive children definitely have nothing to do in such classes.

    If the situation around your disobedient, cocky and overly active child begins to heat up too much due to his behavior that does not fit into the framework children's group, do not wait until you are asked not to come again. In this case, it is better to leave on your own.

    It's just a matter of how you explain it to your baby. You shouldn't tell him that he behaved badly and that's why you now need to look for a new one for him. kindergarten or a new section. Just say that the previous team was not suitable for him, so you need to look for one that would be just for him.

    If you decide to conduct classes with your child on your own, remember that these classes should be completed in one breath using pre-prepared materials and without delays. Because they will be very short in time.

    The child's attention will be concentrated on what you require from him from the strength of 5 five. And, if during these 5 minutes you yourself are distracted by searching for some material or thinking about the next task, you can consider that the lesson is over - the child’s attention will be lost.

    • Enroll your child in sports section. If your child simply cannot sit still, direct his mobility in a “peaceful” direction. Send him to a sports section or some other club, classes in which will involve constant physical activity and continuous activity.

    However, the child must be sent to any section only with his consent. Because without special desire on the part of the child there is no positive result they won't bring it. The child will “shirk” classes and refuse to attend them. And being forced to visit an unloved section in the future can lead to completely unpredictable results. The child should like absolutely everything, from the sport to the coach.

    Psychologists also advise parents to organize a sports corner at home where the child can run, jump and tumble for fun. Fortunately, these days you can find a great variety of such sports complexes in children's and sports stores.

    In addition to all of the above, psychologists also advise using hardening techniques. For example, dousing with cold water. This method, although quite banal, is extremely effective. The release of a good dose of adrenaline in the morning, combined with improved blood circulation and oxygen supply to the brain, is exactly what your hyperactive child needs.

    Childhood is a time of joy, fun, outdoor games and mischievous entertainment. Kids are full of energy and spend it on activities that they consider enjoyable and interesting. Sometimes parents want their noisy and playful little boy to find something quiet to do. Some children gladly accept new rules and can long time get carried away by drawing, sculpting or building buildings from cubes. Others don’t want to stay in one place for even a couple of minutes, they give up what they started, immediately grabbing new objects. In this article we will look at how to develop a child’s perseverance.

    What is perseverance and why develop it?

    Perseverance is the ability of a person to concentrate attention on any activity. To acquire this ability, you need willpower, a desire to achieve your goal, restraint and discipline. No baby is born with such a set of qualities. They are developed gradually in the process of growing up and require stimulation and influence from parents and teachers.

    Already in the middle and senior groups of kindergarten, lessons begin on speech development, basic mathematics, and creativity. Experienced teachers immediately notice which children are accustomed to perseverance and which are not. A child who cannot concentrate on an object or action does not perceive information well and does not receive knowledge and skills that will be useful in elementary school. This subsequently affects the quality of study, level of education and subsequent success in life.

    How to determine that a child is restless?

    It often happens that parents panic early, considering their child restless and inattentive. Modern fathers and mothers from the first years of life begin to stimulate the development of children, sometimes making excessive demands. You shouldn’t expect your preschooler to successfully learn the multiplication tables or want your child to spend hours putting together puzzles. Activities should be age-appropriate and take a certain amount of time:

    • A child from 2 to 3 years old can withstand no more than 10 - 15 minutes looking at pictures, assembling pyramids or adding cubes.
    • At 3–4 years old, drawing with paints and pencils and modeling from plasticine can last no more than 20 minutes.
    • By the age of 4–5, exercises on speech development and arithmetic, decoration and appliqué should not exceed 25 minutes.
    • A preschooler aged 5–6 years can spend about 30 minutes working on logical problems and school readiness programs.

    Taking into account this scale, it is easy to determine the degree of perseverance of your baby. Offer him Board games, reading books together or creative work, designed for his age. Children have different preferences, so some items may simply not be of interest. Change several options; if for a long time the child does not concentrate on any of the activities, you need to take up the development of perseverance.

    Methods for developing perseverance in preschoolers

    The ability to concentrate often depends on temperament or heredity. It happens that grown-up fidgets miraculously turn into responsible schoolchildren, but in most cases the problem requires a solution through systematic exercises. The result will not appear in a few days; developing new skills is a gradual and quite lengthy process.

    1) Organization of the daily routine and personal example

    You should not dream of a diligent and disciplined child if family members are not a role model. It is useless to tell a child how important it is to complete the work he has begun and to follow the daily routine, if he sees completely different examples before his eyes: dad gives up repairing the iron halfway through, mom doesn’t let go of her hands mobile phone, even when he cooks soup, but his brother doesn’t homework. By focusing on elders, the child will quickly understand that the rules need not be followed.

    Getting up, going to bed, eating, and having fun should take place at approximately the same time. Compliance with the regime helps instill self-discipline skills and good mood. Classes are best done in the morning after breakfast or in the afternoon. A necessary attribute is a walk, during which the preschooler will get enough fresh air and will throw out excess energy during outdoor games. In bad weather, going outside is replaced by physical exercise or dancing in a well-ventilated room.

    2) Creation of optimal conditions

    A comfortable position is of great importance for the child. He won't want to listen to an audiobook, assemble building blocks, or draw if he's sitting in an uncomfortable chair with insufficient lighting. When experiencing discomfort, he will be distracted to change position or improve his view. A table is a place where you can sculpt, build, paint. At making the right choice furniture, the table top should be located 2 - 3 cm below chest level so that the child can calmly rest on his elbows. The ideal option is one with a tilted surface and height adjustment. A good chair helps improve the efficiency of the process and maintain posture; its height depends on height.

    A mandatory accessory is a table lamp; it is better if the design is adjustable. If your child draws and writes right hand, then the lamp should be on the left side, if the preschooler is left-handed - on the right. In the dark, you need to turn on additional devices with soft, uniform light. In order for the child to concentrate, it is necessary to eliminate distracting objects and sounds: turn off the music and TV, remove gadgets from view.

    3) Involvement in group activities

    If a child attends kindergarten, he has to take part in collective lessons, sports competitions and preparation for matinees. This helps to raise self-esteem and motivates one to make efforts in mastering a particular skill. For parents who want their son or daughter to come out of preschool prepared for school, you need to constantly communicate with teachers, ask about the successes and failures of your child. Encouraging an attraction to some kind of creativity or sport is of great importance. If possible, it is worth enrolling your preschooler in a club or section, while not forgetting about limiting the load due to age. Today many clubs and centers are open early development, where qualified psychologists and teachers individually approach the problems of each ward, working according to proven methods using a lot of thematic props.

    4) Exercises to develop perseverance

    It’s great if parents have already identified their child’s talent or desire for some kind of activity. It could be music, sports or drawing. But in early age It is difficult for children to determine what they like best. Offering different kinds creativity, it is easier to identify inclinations and develop perseverance. There are several proven and effective methods:

    • Flat and three-dimensional puzzles, mosaics.
    • Drawing with crayons, coloring pictures and volumetric figures, paper crafts, modeling from salt dough and plasticine.
    • Reading fairy tales with discussion of text and illustrations.
    • Logical tasks to find differences, identify objects of the same color, shape, size, experiments with counting sticks.
    • Wooden, magnetic, plastic constructors, creation of paintings and jewelry from beads and seed beads.
    • Cooking together, cleaning up toys, decorating the house for the holidays.

    5) Support and encouragement

    The opinion of parents is the most important for a preschooler. He needs to know that dad and mom are not indifferent to his achievements. It is necessary to sincerely praise for successes and support during failures. In cases where a child cannot cope with a task, you need to approve his efforts and provide help. Sweet and pleasant bonuses received for excellent work are considered a good incentive. An exhibition of crafts on the shelf and a diary of achievements are great for raising self-esteem. The key to effective training is the principle “from less to more”; start with the simplest and shortest tasks, gradually increasing complexity and time.

    With an integrated approach to the problem and implementation of recommendations, very soon there will be a reason to celebrate the first results. Don’t stop there, and subsequently your beloved child will amaze you with his success and determination.

    “My son is 2 years and 2 months old. Before this, I didn’t do any special work with him, I spontaneously drew, sculpted, mostly walks, balls, books very much... And here’s the effect ((Scatters everything while coloring, flips through all the pages of the coloring book, smears anywhere. And so on Doesn’t allow everyone to draw from hand to hand, he switches quickly, can get distracted from one thing, then return to it. I’m just at a loss... How to instill perseverance and attentiveness?” Moms are answered by our expert, educational psychologist and mother of a 4-year-old son, Rimma Nuyanzina.

    Everything you describe is absolutely normal. First, breathe out) I don’t see anything so terrible in the behavior you described. Just stop destructive actions and change the situation, don’t let them rush or tear the craft. You can completely forget about coloring for up to 5 years, why do you need it? It doesn’t really develop anything in a 2-year-old boy, unlike tracing, for example.

    Everything else can be in the game. Firstly, perseverance is not the norm for a child of this age, and if he could sit for more than 1-5 minutes, then he would even have to be wary and go to a specialist. At this age, a child can focus on something from 30 seconds to a couple of minutes. Secondly, the fact that you have already spontaneously drawn, sculpted, walked together is great, this is the main thing that you could do for him and yourself. Thirdly, if you want to start conducting some specially planned game activities, educational games, then it is never too late to start.

    In the beginning, you will have to learn more yourself: accept the child as he is, play on his own (after all, he will first observe and join very gradually), be patient and not set any goals for now. Just look for what works for both of you. I am sure that your baby is developing completely normally. Take the game on our website from, the game that you like the most or the simplest, in your opinion. And play the first stage of this game. That is, start very gradually, taking, for example, only the stage of observation or interaction with the object and phenomenon described in the game on our website.

    For example, “Car with Passengers”, ride in something - in a basin, on a pillow, on a blanket, pretending to be a car, reading a poem. ride your baby's or grandmother's favorite toy, or maybe your brother or sister, in it. All. After some time, make a car out of cardboard and put in the very same people who were previously driven in reality. And just like that, gradually playing for 5-10 minutes, or maybe 1-3 minutes at first, you will introduce regular exercises into your life. According to the experience of many mothers, it really helps to develop right attitude to games, get into the rhythm of classes, participate in. The main rule: do not demand much from the child and from yourself. Try to enjoy these games. The baby will feel that you are calm and happy, and will begin to play in the same way. Gradually you will move on to drawing, mathematics and even reading.

    Have fun playing with your son!

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