In this material we will look at the difference between love and infatuation.
Love, sympathy or infatuation, and sometimes just passion - these are the feelings that are familiar to each of us. Well, that’s the way we are made – we will definitely be drawn to another person and we will always have a desire to be attached to someone. Love and infatuation, as well as friendship and affection, go in pairs. Yes, they stand so close and go hand in hand that many of us confuse them or don’t even realize that there is any feeling.
How to distinguish love from the feeling of falling in love: comparison, signs, psychology, test
Love and infatuation are very closely related, they are similar and cannot exist without each other. More precisely, how to say, love will not arise without sympathy and previous love. After all, love takes time. Therefore, these feelings are often confused. Perhaps this is due to the fact that each of us wants to find that very true love. By the way, a lot still depends on the character. There are some individuals who fall in love with a new partner every week. Naturally, in in this case it's about falling in love.
What are the signs of falling in love? Everyone is familiar with these riots of hormones, butterflies in the stomach, feelings of exaltation - all this is part of the emotional aspect of falling in love.
- As they say, “love at first sight” is a myth. Only love can arise. So she will take you by surprise. And we, unfortunately, cannot choose who and when this will happen.
- Falling in love begins in a person like the flu. Yes exactly. Some scientists even attribute the status of a disease to this feeling. A person in love experiences mood swings, blood pressure surges and insomnia, and some even experience headaches.
- The desire to always be more close to the person you like. Yes, now we are talking about those “chance” meetings.
- Lovers want to communicate, talk, act and learn something new about each other every day. And the main thing is to avoid boredom and monotony.
- But a person in love often feels absent-minded, confused in his thoughts (this is what leads to delusional first speeches). And what kind of rash actions does falling in love push you to do? If you look at your life in the past, you feel ashamed of yourself. Yes, this point applies more to teenagers, but a person in love is susceptible to them at any age.
- How you want to present yourself in the best quality and light. That is, a person in love seems to make it clear that he is the one.
IMPORTANT: Falling in love is more selfish, because a person in such a state, first of all, thinks about himself. He wants to look, touch and be close to him so that he feels good. A person in love rarely wonders what it’s like for his other half. Even if such thoughts arise (purely out of common sense), personal interests and benefits always weigh in the balance.
- You cannot be 100% sure of passion (no, for example, girls often have thoughts about a future wedding and children), but external data (smile, eyes, gait) can evoke feelings.
- By the way, when interests come into contact, each other’s shortcomings begin to appear, which we may not accept. Some even manage to start a family or create a civil marriage. And then it blooms whole bouquet dissatisfaction
- If you can’t be nearby, then look with your eyes. Yes, a person in love will look for his passion as often as possible (almost constantly). That's why lovers meet their eyes so often.
- And also, when we start talking to a person we like, the timbre of our voice involuntarily softens and becomes quieter.
But love already has slightly different characteristics:
- The first thing I would like to highlight is time. Love does not arise quickly and spontaneously. It takes time and work on oneself (for both partners). But you can be sure of the duration of such a feeling for many years.
- We mentioned that a person in love is only aroused by external data, and shortcomings can be wildly annoying. Then in a state of love we perceive a person as he is. That is, they love him not for his eyes or expensive gifts, but simply for the fact that he exists, he is the best and the only one.
- There shouldn't be anyone else. That is, a person becomes everything to you. For example, a girl walks along and looks at a handsome guy, but thinks to herself: “This jacket is beautiful, I should buy it for my husband!” You don't pay attention to others and don't even notice their positive qualities.
- No, contact is maintained with friends or relatives. Even more than during the period of falling in love. What this means is that no one else evokes such sympathy.
- You can just be silent with your loved one. Yes, loving people know how to communicate, as if with a glance or on a telepathic level. And with such a person you feel calm, safe and comfortable. After all, you are in the right place.
- In love, there are no thoughts of separation (divorce). Even during a period of quarrels (they happen to everyone - this is also a natural and normal process), a loving person understands that they will make peace, find a compromise and move on. What else! After all, now they have become halves of one whole.
- By the way, those who love do not have “mine” or “yours,” but they are replaced by “ours.” Moreover, both partners not only have common interests, but even common habits and even character traits become a little similar.
- The main thing is to always work on yourself. Both partners. This also includes the feeling of forgiveness. Yes, you always need to discuss the problem and look for a compromise.
IMPORTANT: A loving person is always more concerned about the condition of his partner. That is, he does not think about his own benefit or convenience, but so that his beloved feels good and comfortable.
Now let’s touch on their psychological side.
Love:
- We all want to continue our lineage. This is inherent in nature and not only in humans, but also in any living creature on the planet. Therefore, such a feeling as falling in love appears. Therefore, one thing can be said – the human body itself encourages the feeling of falling in love.
- By the way, falling in love is often deceptive. A person was attracted by external data, and the rest was done by the mind and imagination. And then, when we have to face reality, we become disappointed. In other words, we idealize our partner.
- Under the influence of hormones, a person rises, becomes joyful and cheerful. Moreover, the feeling of falling in love also affects our luck. After all, a positive person is doing much better than others. Therefore, falling in love is even beneficial for our body.
- And one cannot help but touch upon such an aspect as parents. No, now we are not talking about the love of parents and children. Probably, many have heard that on an unconscious level we choose as partners a person who is similar (if positive aspects are associated with parents) or, conversely, opposite (when parents are associated with negative memories) to our parents.
Now let's talk about love:
- Love arises over the years - that's a fact. But there are also some types of love, for example, maternal or brotherly, and there is also love for a neighbor, for the Motherland or work. And, of course, there is sexual love, that is, between a man and a woman, between spouses.
- Love is often confused with a feeling of affection or fear of loneliness. But more on that a little later. I just wanted to say a few words about love - a lover will not suppress a partner or create unsuitable living conditions for him, and he will not try to assert himself by any means.
- And one cannot fail to note the stages of love. Yes, they exist:
- Liking or falling in love is a period when hormones dance a waltz and rose-colored glasses are on your eyes.
- The oversaturation or tipping point is the period when all the shortcomings begin to be noticed. Moreover, the glasses have been removed, and we really don’t like these habits of our partner. And he (or she) does not want to give them up or change them.
- Denial or the desire to quit everything arises after rose-colored glasses. It is difficult to find a compromise, the partner has many complaints, and he himself does nothing for the sake of the relationship (and each of the partners thinks so). And then thoughts arise that the ideal option would be separation. Unfortunately, this is the longest period and for most couples it ends in a breakup.
- The beginning or birth of love occurs when partners dare to stay together and begin to work on themselves. Once again, do not confuse it with hopelessness or a feeling of attachment. In love, care and tenderness come first for the loved one.
- AND real love, as the final stage. Unfortunately, it can only be achieved by mature partners who have truly experienced both joys and sorrows. Along with love should also come friendship, passion, interest and spiritual closeness. Of course, partners must be able to get along as a team, be responsible and devoted to each other.
To finally establish the final verdict, we offer you a small test:
- Pay attention to your appearance.
- A person in love becomes prettier and tries to attract attention to himself as much as possible. There is a blush on the cheeks, a shine in the eyes, and a smile on the face.
- Love does not like loud and flashy outfits. It is generally more invisible, and the changes in appearance are minor.
- Character and conversations.
- During the period of falling in love, we try to be near our chosen one more often, and conversations can only be about him. Constantly tormented by questions: “do you like me?”, “do I look good?”, “did you notice my outfit?”
- In love there is a desire to make your soul mate only better, so that he can feel good. And not only that, but those around you also get the distribution of happiness and help.
- What emotions are overwhelming.
- Jumps and mood swings are what characterizes falling in love. Cry because you didn’t call on time, or didn’t meet at the first break, and then when you see your crush, it all changes with loud laughter and an elevated mood.
- The weak point of lovers is their views. There are no longer those jumps (sometimes quiet, sometimes loud), feelings are more stable and calm.
- What is the difference between the behaviors?
- When falling in love, some may blush sharply, others fall silent or, conversely, begin to communicate loudly and fervently. And there are cases when shy representatives simply run away.
- In love, everything is different - with your family (in love, he becomes like that), you feel at ease and at ease. There is neither the desire nor the need to show yourself from the other, unnatural side.
How to distinguish love from feelings of affection: comparison, signs, psychology, test
We have indicated above the symptoms and signs of such a feeling as love. Therefore, we will not go deeper again. Let's talk about affection, which is also often confused with love. Falling in love applies more to schoolchildren and teenagers, but affection is more typical for those partners who have managed to live together.
- In general, affection is a feeling of closeness that is based on sympathy or love. As you can see, all these feelings are very closely interconnected.
- In a couple where there is affection, one always gives and the other receives. That is, one loves, and the other turns his cheek.
- Attacks of jealousy are also more related to affection. The desire to control and completely personally possess a partner does not speak of love at all. Therefore, there is excessive control. There is always room for trust in love!
- Fear. An important indicator, since an attached person is afraid of losing a partner. Moreover, they are more concerned about material qualities. This is where the excessive attention comes from.
- Also, it is worth noting that there is no development of partners as individuals. That is, loving people can not only develop together, each can have their own hobby or passion.
- And yet, affection, like falling in love, is based on external qualities.
- Let's also talk about distances. Attachment can initially lead to sadness, and then, on the contrary, cause a feeling of lightness and freedom.
Therefore, you can easily take a short test:
- Again, pay attention to what you like in a partner.
- How do you feel after a week off?
- You put your interests above those of your partner. Or vice versa?
- Now think about your partner’s shortcomings and your attitude towards them
Answer only honestly, and the conclusion can be drawn from the signs described above.
How to distinguish love from a feeling of passion: comparison, signs, psychology, test
The Kama Sutra interprets love in its own way. Every person has three drives: mind, soul and body. In the first case, respect arises, in the second - friendship, in the third - desire (aka passion). Love is the combination of all three qualities together. We won’t go around in circles for long and repeat ourselves, so let’s get straight to the passion.
- Again, it is based only on physical sympathy.
- It breaks out like a fire in the forest. But it goes out just as quickly.
- Passion often forces you to resolve any conflict in bed. Pay attention to how you resolve your conflicts. In love there is always room for calm conversations, but passion overshadows reason.
- A loving person will never insult his partner, but passion allows barbs and rudeness towards the other half.
- And an important criterion! Passion can refer to more than one. Love is monogamous (we have already mentioned this above).
If we talk about the test, then it is enough to answer the questions from the previous paragraph. Answer honestly and quickly, and also remember (we already mentioned) aspects such as conflict resolution and flirting on the side.
How to distinguish love from feelings of infatuation: comparison, signs, psychology, test
To distinguish a feeling of infatuation from love, and to understand what feeling overwhelms you, it is enough to simply give answers to next questions. The feeling of infatuation is very similar to falling in love, but it can even be called the initial stage.
- Naturally, answer honestly what attracts you in your partner. Only a few points can be called a hobby. And only external or physical aspects.
- How often and for what duration is interest expressed. Infatuation is so fleeting (yes, falling in love is more permanent in this matter) that a person very quickly switches to another object. Moreover, a person fades away very quickly. He is busy with other things, and only when reminded can he remember his passion.
- Again, the topic is how conflicts are resolved. With passion, of course, all roads lead to bed, but attraction is expressed through too emotional perception. Yes, a person begins to react very sharply to any comments. And any quarrel turns into a world-class conflict.
- Do you care about your soulmate? This point plays an important role. Yes, love arises gradually and, naturally, people get to know each other in detail. Hobby is selfish in nature and is aimed only at personal gain.
- And it is necessary to note this aspect - earthly or supermundane feeling. The fact is that when you are infatuated, you are only interested in earthly needs, which are expressed by thoughts, pleasures and banal actions. Love has no barriers, and for lovers, spiritual closeness comes first.
How to distinguish love from feelings of friendship: comparison, signs, psychology, test
They say that there is never a feeling of friendship between a man and a woman. We will not go too deep into this issue, since this is a “sick” and eternal topic of debate. Perhaps someone's friendship develops into love. Or maybe someone’s feeling of sympathy, on the contrary, will destroy a friendship in a few years. We will consider an example when there is only spiritual intimacy (that is, friendship) or the desire for the body (love) already appears.
- How you behave. If it’s easy and relaxed, you’re not afraid to make yourself look funny, then there’s only friendship between you. No, no one experiences tension in love either, but it comes with age. Communication goes to another level, and it is different from all other friendly relationships.
- There should be no place for jealousy in friendship. You easily communicate with the passion of a friend (girlfriend) or you can simply discuss the person you like. And no negativity. That is, a person specifically does not want to show his passion in a bad light. Of course, unless circumstances really require it.
- Care. No, friends also take care of each other, but lovers do it differently. You cannot allow your loved one to snack on dry meats or junk food (or drink a lot of alcohol), but a friend will sit down for such a meal with you.
- Review your time apart. How often do you think about a friend, but think about who he is doing with and what? Friends don’t have such questions. They live their own lives.
- How do you feel about your friend’s criticism of you? As a rule, a loving person wants to show himself with the best side. Of course, it’s too early to talk about deep love, but here it is initial stage will not allow you to listen to reproaches or even humorous barbs addressed to you. A friend’s words are perceived more easily, moreover, you can even laugh at them together.
Of course, you can endlessly consider examples of love and friendship, but to understand your feelings, the above five points are enough.
How to distinguish love from the feeling that you just like a person: comparison, signs, psychology, test
We won't beat around the bush. Since we have considered several options, simple sympathy is similar to ordinary love or infatuation. The only difference is that we can like many representatives. One person who likes beautiful eyes, and the other one has a smile, and the third one jokes well. But! They all have negative sides, which we immediately notice.
- That is, in a simply sympathetic person we identify only one or two qualities that we like.
- And this is necessarily either external data, or just some kind of behavior.
- There is no desire to be around all the time. You can have your own life, but remember your passion only when necessary.
- When we like a person, we always feel embarrassed and awkward.
- And sympathy can fade away very quickly, and in general is characterized by its inconstancy. If someone appears with more beautiful eyes, attention will shift to him.
How true love differs from other feelings: psychology
We have indicated what the main features of each of the feelings are and how to recognize them. Therefore, we will not repeat ourselves, but simply summarize the information.
- Love is a feeling that arises gradually and after a certain time.
- A person is loved in the big picture, yes, for his soul (as they often say). No, external data is also important, but is not put in first place.
- Love includes friendship, passion, and spiritual intimacy.
- Love is not idealized like other feelings. A person is perceived with all the pros and cons. And they love him because he simply exists and is nearby.
- Love does not require constant presence (like falling in love), control (like affection), and at a distance or over time it does not pass or go out (like infatuation).
- In love, they always put their soul mate above their hobbies, comforts and even happiness. More precisely, at loving person it is about making the partner feel good.
- You can have your own entertainment, hobbies and even different friends. But this does not become a reason for jealousy and conflicts on this basis. This is what love is.
- We also don’t forget to pay attention to those around us. Love has enough time, attention, and even a piece of your happiness for everyone. Other feelings are simply fixated on one person until they go out. Or until they grow into something bigger and higher.
- And once again we will touch on the topic of conflicts. In love, quarrels become rare over time. Yes, the reason for this is that you perceive your partner entirely and completely, and with all the shortcomings. Moreover, solving them is also easier. Conversations are calmer, and compromise is easier to find.
Can there be love without being in love?
No, he can not. A lover must definitely go through all these stages of sympathy. Moreover, love also requires friendship and mutual respect. The fact is that nature has thought out everything to the smallest detail.
- If it were not for hormones and the euphoria of falling in love, then not a single couple would live together for more than a week.
- Let us remind you that conflicts are normal. After all, two different people are weighing on the scales. If everyone does not begin to adjust the scales on their part, then they will continue to tip and fluctuate.
- Then the habit kicks in. Yes, her role is also important. There is no need to live only out of habit or attachment; it’s just that at that turning point, when you want to give up everything and run away, it’s that attachment that slows you down.
- And only then, when you go through “seven circles” family problems“, learn to put up with and accept your partner for who he is, then love will begin to arise.
- And then, for its development, you need to constantly work on yourself and your relationships.
How long does love and infatuation last and can infatuation turn into love?
They say “love lasts 3 years.” This is both true and wrong at the same time. This is the period of falling in love. When the butterflies in your stomach have disappeared and you begin to look at the world with a sober look. By the way, for some this period develops differently - from 6 months to 4 years. Love takes a long time to arise and has no specific time. They say it is eternal. Yes, love really can last a lifetime.
Love and Infatuation: a parable
There is a very educational, instructive and touching parable. The essence of the parable is that Love will forgive and tolerate much, except Indifference.
It would seem that thousands of books have been written about love, but how many pompous phrases and beautiful words! But the topic is not obsolete and will never become obsolete. What is love? What is attachment? How to distinguish love from infatuation? ?
Most minds of mankind agree that love (or, perhaps, its classic version) consists of four phases: infatuation, infatuation, love and affection.
The first stage is passion
Love always begins with passion. The man saw an attractive representative of the opposite sex, for some reason or something he caught his eye - and away he went. The basis of the feeling of passion is great admiration for the unique abilities of a girl or man, his characterological qualities or fantastic talent. However, you can get carried away plump lips ladies, gorgeous breasts, long legs, the pumped-up figure of a man and his brilliant smile - only external data.
This, of course, is far from love, and this feeling usually lasts for several weeks or a couple of months, according to knowledgeable researchers. Infatuation can develop into love over time, or it can quickly end, and a person’s attention will immediately switch to a new object.
The second phase is falling in love
The feeling of falling in love gradually emerges from infatuation. This happens when you continue to communicate with the person who once attracted you. At some point in a person's mind the importance positive qualities the chosen one, which once aroused passion, increases, and the degree of negative ones decreases literally to zero. Essentially, during this phase there is an idealization of the partner. How is love different from being in love? People fall in love not with a person, but with an ideal they themselves have created.
Falling in love lasts much longer than infatuation - from 2 months to six months. Most often, falling in love develops into love, as it is its upcoming phase. But there are also exceptions to the rule - in this case, the created ideal is quickly destroyed and disappointment sets in. There is no need to try to understand then, at that time it did not exist as such!
The third stage - classic love
If you have found your soulmate, then the feeling of being in love will be replaced by love, that very aesthetic and moral feeling, expressed in a selfless desire for a partner. True love is selfless devotion dear person, a combination of actions and feelings aimed at it. Researchers call this the sensual peak in the relationship between subjects of opposite sexes who like each other.
Only if people really love are they ready to legitimize their relationship, which is why during this period approximately 90 percent of marriages are between a man and a woman. Life, however, is a cruel thing, and often unrequited love develops into real tragedies. Love is a long-lasting feeling; according to scientists, it lasts from 3 to 5 years, and then subsides, goes out, moving into the next phase of people’s relationships. At this stage there is no need to think, it just continues to develop.
The final phase is attachment
The feeling gradually weakens, and love is replaced by affection. How to distinguish love from affection? This period comes in a few years life together when there is no flame of passion, but there is devotion to the partner, a desire to be close. It's that feeling of peace when you're with your loved one. According to scientists, it can last until the end of life.
But there is another important question - how to distinguish love from habit? Indeed, sometimes a person simply gets used to being close to a partner, gets used to seeing only him and communicating with him. But if you separate for a while and stop seeing each other, this feeling will go away. Which means this person you didn't need it.
Of course, love does not always arise according to rules and correspond to some kind of pattern. A real feeling can flare up immediately, without passion or falling in love.
True love is selfless. Selflessness is the easiest criterion by which it can be distinguished from attachment and lust.
If you want to be with someone because that person makes you happy and you want him/her to continue to make you “happy,” then that is self-interest (being in a relationship for the benefit you get from the relationship). Relationships built on selfishness and selfishness lead to attachment. Such relationships make you dependent on them as a source of pleasure, benefit, happiness, and so on.
There must be mutual exchange in a relationship - giving and receiving on both sides.
If you get happiness from making your lover happy, and you yourself are happy in this relationship, then this is love.
When partners mutually want to make each other happy, then the relationship is built on mutual giving and Selflessness. Love manifests itself in the selfless desire to give. Giving opens our heart. In such relationships, it is important not only to give, but also to be able to take and receive in order to maintain a constant flow of love.
A desirable relationship is when you really want to be with this person, and it is very difficult for you without him, especially sexually.
If you love, then it doesn’t matter to you whether you want it or not, you still love equally (even if you want it, but it’s not available). If you love, then, of course, you can lust for your beloved (this is already clear). The main thing is what underlies the relationship: love or lust.
Lust leads to attachment, not love.
If the relationship is built on lust or attachment, then when your partner hurts you or leaves you, your heart begins to “harden” towards him. Instead of “love,” you may feel anger, contempt, resentment, claims, or even hatred and a desire for revenge. If a loved one leaves you, you will experience pain.
But if you truly love him/her, then the feeling of love in your heart will not replace anger, anger, claims or hatred, even when it is very painful.
Despite the pain, you will be able not to be offended and forgive, wishing happiness for this person, and not dreaming of revenge. Pain and love can be present in your heart at the same time when you are in love.
Adalind Koss
What is true love? How to recognize it? What qualities are inherent in love? Writers, poets and ordinary people have been asking themselves these questions for many centuries in a row.
What is true love
These are feelings that have stood the test of time, overcome difficulties and doubts. Correct model This feeling was developed by Robert Sternberg. According to this theory true love has 3 main components:
frankness;
attraction;
loyalty.
Frankness is sincere feelings and relationships, complete trust, and a desire to help a partner. This is the ability to open your soul without fear. But this does not mean that you approve and encourage any actions and opinions of your other half. Rather, it is understanding and knowledge of a person, the reasons for his actions.
Attraction is sexual attractiveness. This component is not inherent in friendship or other love. It is the fuel that keeps the feelings burning.
Loyalty is the desire to share all life’s trials and joys with this particular person. This also refers to the decision to remain faithful despite the difficulties of the relationship.
How to distinguish love from infatuation
If you don't know how to distinguish love from infatuation, some will help you comparative characteristics these feelings.
When a person is in love, he is concerned about physical qualities in his partner - beauty, figure. If this is love, then the person’s personality is more important. You like his character, actions, appearance, manners, etc. Also, if you're having a passing crush, the number of qualities you admire in your lover is limited. Yes, your legs will give way from some of its features, but such factors are limited only by gait, voice, smile, etc. True love is love for every scar and mole on the body, for every action and habit.
At the first stage of a relationship, falling in love is distinguished by an instant flash - from a touch, a glance. Reminds me of an obsession. Love comes gradually. It will take time to fully understand and accept another person. You cannot love someone about whom you know nothing. As for interest in a lover, when you fall in love, it either burns or subsides. Love will not subside for a while. Not a day will go by when you don't think about your soulmate.
If you are just in love, then quarrels happen more often over time. And the reason is that there is no basis for these feelings - a spiritual connection, basis, common themes and emotions. Love can't be hindered by disagreements. They will strengthen relationships. But, really, before the wedding, do some renovations together.
How to distinguish love from addiction
True love exists, but let's remember the painful state that is mistaken for this high feeling. How to distinguish love from addiction?
Love doesn't make life worse, it brings happiness. This is the main thing. You are happy both with your loved one and without him - he is on Earth, and this already makes you happy. Love is not an obstacle to human development in other areas, it is a muse. Dependence is the opposite state, lack of freedom. This is an increasing concentration on the partner.
At the first stage, a feeling of joy appears; it may not disappear even with the evasiveness and coldness of the partner. A person easily finds excuses for bad actions. Then the need for the presence of the beloved grows, he becomes a drug. Life is divided into black and white. Only in the presence of the object does a feeling of happiness arise, and without it - melancholy and depression. This behavior resembles hangover syndrome in alcoholics.
A dependent person wants to have complete control over the life of his love object, and often becomes obsessive, cruel and picky.
How to distinguish love from affection
Psychological studies have proven the validity of the opinion that passionate love takes 3 years. But this does not mean that after this the feelings end. Relationships become a great feeling, love matures, goes through difficulties and trials, but does not die. Love sometimes begins with passion, turns into care and tenderness, then comes the trials of everyday life, but adversity only strengthens the feeling. It becomes big, regardless of circumstances.
Do not be afraid of devoted feelings for a long-time loved one - this normal phenomenon. But if it is so important for you to understand how to distinguish love from affection without love, then a simple test will help.
First, ask yourself what attracts you most to your significant other. Fleeting affection is characterized only by physical feelings, like falling in love. You like his way of speaking, dressing, driving. For love, external qualities do not play a key role.
Think back to the beginning of the relationship, the first few months. A fleeting feeling is characterized by the transience of events, as if you are “diving” into a pool. True love is formed gradually.
Another way to distinguish between the concepts of ephemeral and true love is to test for strength. If people love each other and have serious feelings, then a long separation is not easy for them. But sometimes it heals the soul; the emptiness of attachment is soon replaced by new emotions and feelings. Love only grows stronger from obstacles and difficulties. It will help you survive separation, will not fade away, but will warm your heart.
December 31, 2013, 11:40Today we will look at another concept - falling in love.
What is sympathy and what does it depend on?
Often, not only falling in love, but also sympathy for a person is mistaken for love. Although these feelings have some similar features and symptoms, they should not be confused, because they differ significantly in depth and strength of manifestation.
Sympathy is sustainable positive attitude towards other people expressing itself emotionally. Usually it is manifested by friendliness, goodwill, admiration for someone or something. Sympathy is also a desire for communication between people, providing them with help, attention, etc. actions in relation to the one to whom it arises.
What can cause sympathy? There are several factors and circumstances:
- similarity of views, values, life positions and moral ideals;
- attractive appearance, demeanor, character;
- the presence of any similar characteristics, for example, the same birthday, the same age;
- living next to each other, studying in the same school, class, etc.;
- mutual sympathy, i.e. if we like someone, then this person can cause sympathy in us
Sympathy has one distinctive feature - similarity in something two people who like each other. But sometimes it happens the other way around: nice man seems to us something similar to us.
Sympathy can turn into passion, a strong attachment, when it is supported by any actions, combines several bringing together factors, for example, external attractiveness, common interests and frequent communication. When we are disappointed in a person we like, a cooling of feelings towards him appears, which can develop into antipathy.
What is falling in love?
Falling in love is a characteristic feeling that distinguishes several features, visible to an outside observer, but usually not noticeable to a lover blinded by this feeling:
- she literally bursts into flames falls suddenly, “out of the blue,” accompanied by strong emotions and new impressions. Often the obsession passes just as suddenly, causing bewilderment and the question: “What was that?”;
- falling in love is often accompanied self-doubt, fear of literally everything, from weight gain to the possible disappointment of the object of adoration in you because you are not tall enough social status and so on.;
- all life is concentrated on one person, all other interests recede, the object of love is idealized, is seen as a fairy-tale prince or princess, an example in everything. Because of this, there are often conflicts with relatives and friends who do not wear “rose-colored glasses” and perfectly see the shortcomings of the so-called “ideal” and try to dispel your delight by pointing out them;
- lovers are two personalities, there is no commonality in the relationship, the word “we” is not in their vocabulary either, because the two are connected only by passion, often purely sexual;
- Over time, the relationship is overshadowed by frequent quarrels, which end in a complete break.
People usually fall in love not with a person, but with some idealized image that has little in common with specific person. The intoxication passes, replaced by disappointment and pain.
Falling in love is a person's desire to end loneliness, to warm up near someone, to take care of this person, to be close to him. All hitherto unclaimed feelings are poured out on the object of adoration. But the hero from your fantasies remains a stranger, whom you often have no desire or opportunity to study, because... Euphoria in a relationship does not allow you to destroy the image created in your head with the traits of an ideal hero attached to it at first.
This feeling can become something more only with wide open eyes and ears. And this requires considerable effort, patience and desire.
Young people who get on and off easily romantic relationship, “preparing” themselves for a future divorce.
- How do you feel about money?
- What shows that you manage your funds wisely?
- Do you have debts or loans? If so, how do you pay for them?
- How much will your wedding cost? Will I have to go into debt?
- When you get married, will you both work? How will you balance your work schedules (to spend time together)?
- How will you plan your expenses?
Are you ready for marriage?
True love... What is it like?
Falling in love is distinguished from a deeper and more real feeling by such a simple example. If a woman has freckles or another visual defect, then a man in love does not notice them, but a man in love sees them perfectly, but loves them as an integral part of his beloved.
True love is a miracle that has a whole a number of excellent qualities that distinguish it from ordinary love:
- all the human qualities of a partner, his personality are no less important than the physical attraction to him;
- the positive traits of a loved one are extremely valued, and his weaknesses are accepted without pretension, simply as a fact;
- love is not sudden, it does not come immediately, because... You can only love someone you know well with all your heart, this feeling is always tested by time;
- You always want to be with your loved one, you never get tired of him, separation from him is a great test;
- love reveals the most best qualities a person who strives for self-improvement, struggling with his shortcomings and weaknesses;
- true love is a strong connection between souls long years when neither time nor distance are scary. When separated, loving hearts always find the opportunity to communicate;
- in disagreements, loving hearts seek compromises, understanding their partner, yielding to each other. Discord in their relationship is a reason for reconciliation, strengthening real relationships;
- real feelings are selfless, love gives itself entirely and completely, without seeking any benefits or self-affirmation;
- trials and obstacles are overcome together, so nothing can defeat this great feeling.
Love or infatuation?
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Which word is missing in the following quotes - love/love or love/in love?
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- love / in love: 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9.
- love / love: 3, 5, 7, 10.
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Task 1 of 10
1 .
“... is blind, and she likes it. She doesn't want to face the truth."
Task 2 of 10
2 .
“If I can’t be myself around the girl I like, it’s...”
Task 3 of 10
3 .
“There may even be something that irritates you about a person. But if it’s..., you still want to be close to him and find compromises.”
Task 4 of 10
4 .
“When... you only see what you have in common.”
Task 5 of 10
5 .
“When... you don’t try to hide who you really are.”
Task 6 of 10
6 .
“... is nothing more than selfishness, a way to get what you want. Sometimes you want to brag that you have a boyfriend.”
Task 7 of 10
