It's normal to sort things out.
Another thing is the nature of these conversations. You can calmly consult and discuss your relationship, tell a man how you feel when he acts one way or another.
Or you can do it differently, like a real bitch - endure, accumulate discontent, and then, getting personal, dump everything ... on his head.
How to speak correctly in a relationshiphow to take them to the next level?
There are simple ones which will allow us to build harmonious relationships. Claims lead to resentment, a raised tone leads to disrespect, understatement develops into large-scale showdowns.
How to talk to a man so that he hears you and reacts appropriately? Of course, softly and femininely. But for this you need to be ina certain state.
Eat 7 simple methods , which allow you to “sort things out”, without drama and manipulation.
1. Three point rule
No need to blow his brains out! Let the man breathe out after work. “A well-fed man is no friend to a hungry man!”, “A young man must first be fed, given water to drink, and put to bed...” - even children’s fairy tales point you in the direction.
You can and should talk to a well-fed, rested, satisfied man. And it will give results.
When you want to figure it out quickly, think: will you be comfortable in his place and in such a situation? It’s hard to put yourself in a man’s shoes, and I can understand them.
Then just remember yourself after a sleepless night spent at your child’s crib or hungry and angry, disappointed because you failed an exam; how he said in bed: “Let’s not today,” when you wanted.
Did you introduce it? In such a state, let alone sort things out, I don’t want to live.
Before I forget: I categorically forbid all my students to sort things out in bed, this .
The needs according to Maslow's pyramid have not been canceled.
Feed, let him rest and caress your man and any conversations will be received much better than you think. A woman who behaves exactly like this -every man's dream.
2. Choose expressions
But let’s return to the topic of “showing things up.”There are phrases that put a man into a stupor. (drumroll): "We need to talk,” or more harshly, “We urgently need to have a serious conversation!”
Deadlines in conversations and words like “need” do not work in your favor. And, what’s even worse, they act on a man in a negative way. So forget about them!
Try saying this: “Darling, I really need to consult with you.”
You will see: your man will either be happy or very surprised if you start discussing relationships in this tone.
3. Think with your head
Plan what and how you will tell your man. Think a hundred times whether what you are about to say is really important. Are your inner complexes and fears whispering nonsense to you?
Don’t be lazy, sketch out your thesis plan on paper. Some women may find this exercise confusing. Planning a conversation with a man? Prescribe a plan? This is some nonsense. But believe me, dear, you can’t even imagine how much garbage you can weed out before even starting a conversation.
I am sure that this will help you structure your thoughts, understand yourself better and convey your thoughts to a man most effectively.
4. Forget about manipulation
Remember one thing very much important rule- what you emit is what you receive. And if you're in the mood to play with a man and manipulate his feelings, masculine qualities or decency, get ready for a slap on the head from the Universe.
And even if you don’t believe in the cycle of justice, take my word for it - manipulation will not lead to anything good for three reasons.
He will understand
Sooner or later he will see what scheme you “work” according to. Just imagine what he will think at this moment and feel how dramatically his attitude towards you will change. Did you introduce it? And still convinced that manipulation is normal?
You'll get confused
You will get lost in the labyrinths of your own manipulations and burn out. If you have even a drop of respect for your partner, save your and his nerves from such adventures and better learn to interact with him like a professional woman.
You'll go your separate ways
Manipulations lose their effect over time. One, two, three, and the tenth time the man simply won’t follow your lead. That's it, we've arrived. You will desperately rummage through your chest with instructions on how to control a man, but in vain.
5. Talk about your feelings
Truly, magic technique! You are a woman, which means it is simply harmful for you to accumulate emotions in yourself. Finally learn to talk about your feelings!
“Darling, yesterday, when you came, I was just confused and didn’t know how to behave.”
You don't have to memorize the phrase, you need to learn to express feelings through words. All world literature can help you! And remember that after the words “I feel,” a man begins to understand you better.
There are no claims or criticisms in them. You're not going to argue. You are simply articulating your emotions. And he sees you conscious and self-sufficient woman and knows that you trust him.
6. Be careful with the future
I'll be completely honest with you. Return to the third point and... Especially about your future together. “When will we get married?”, “When will I come to you?”, “How many children do you want?”... No joke, they are stressful and generally confuse a man.
Keep your finger on the pulse and observe a man's behavior, his attitude towards you, his actions. They always speak for themselves.
If he refuses Serious relationships or conversation on this topic, because he is confused, he has difficult period in life, etc., there is only one option. He's a beggar. You need to run away from him.
U worthy man There may also be problems and difficulties, but he will always let you know that he wants to be there and cares about your couple as a whole.
7. More specifics
Specifics and clear argumentation are important conditions in a dialogue with a man if you really want to convey your idea to him. Less water, more meaning.
Men don't take hints. I want to voice this again. Write it down anywhere:
Men. Do not understand. Hints. Not in any way.
Maintain balance. Be specific in your desires, but soft in the tone of the conversation. Keep in mind the points that you would like to talk about with a man and ask for advice. At the same time, look for an approach to him.
First of all, you need this, and the relationship will only benefit from such a well-constructed dialogue.
Have you read it?
Now write in the comments how your showdown with a man usually ends! Does he turn to the wall, go to sleep on the sofa or in the kitchen? How long after that do you not talk?
With faith in you,
Yaroslav Samoilov.
It is known that behavior during family “squabbles” can be used to judge the underlying character traits of a partner. But it turns out that even the very desire or reluctance to enter into negotiations is a kind of test that helps spouses better understand each other.
Who among us has not dreamed of a husband and wife understanding each other without words? IN real life From time to time you still have to sort things out. Perhaps your family loves to discuss the situation, perhaps they consider “showdowns” a meaningless and useless activity. It is most difficult to achieve mutual understanding if the spouses have different opinions on this matter. And although the traditional script attributes the invitational “Let's talk!” for a woman, and persistent silence and avoidance of painful topics for a man; in fact, everything depends not on gender, but on the character of a person - such traits that neither you nor your partner sometimes even suspect.
As a rule, in any situation, psychologists advise calmly discussing the problem together, but married couples are often unable to put this advice into practice. In fact, here, as in almost any issue concerning the human soul and feelings, there is no single correct recipe for everyone. But the very moment when someone proposes to sort things out is very important and decisive. Reacting to an offer to “talk,” even if negotiations did not take place, will help you understand each other’s hidden feelings.
It is clear that the parties interested in each other are sitting down at the negotiating table, that the moment has come when at least one of the parties can no longer postpone mutual demands, claims and wishes for the future. This is a turning point, and in which direction the conversation and relationship will go, both do not know. Therefore, negotiations are a risky undertaking. They can be compared to an everyday emergency situation. And how a person behaves in an extreme situation is very revealing.
They like to sort things out
Open people, accustomed to solving their problems on their own, believe that if something doesn’t work out, you need to try to correct the situation - do something. In personal relationships, they strive for active interaction with loved ones.
Strengths:
These people are brave, they are not afraid of risk and unpredictability, they are ready to “jump into the abyss empty-handed”, just so as not to sit on its edge in eternal anticipation.
Weak sides:
Taken to the extreme, this character trait leads to the fact that a person does not give himself time to think and wait - the slightest anxiety pushes him to action. His courage is like the fearlessness of a child who does not yet know about many dangers. Also, such a position can be compared with the categorical attitude of a teenager who lives under the motto “all or nothing.”
Secret desires:
If one of the spouses too often starts a showdown, this leads one to think: - He is not looking for the truth, but during a conversation wants to make up for something that he lacks in life with his partner - for example, warmth, attention or passion. Or is he used to giving vent to sexual passions through other channels - in in this case through serious conversations or quarrels. During the conversation, he calms down, because now the partner is with him and only with him, all his (her) attention is directed to the interlocutor and to the common problem. Oddly enough, in this case, even a scandal or a raised conversation brings satisfaction to the initiator of the showdown. - The partner cannot stand uncertainty; it causes him anxiety, which he cannot cope with. As a child, he clearly lacked the experience of calm, reliable love, and now he needs a lot of attention and confirmation of feelings from his spouse in order to begin to slowly calm down and trust. - Constantly harassing a partner, a person seeks to destroy the relationship. Often this is done unconsciously and not at all because he does not love - on the contrary, he loves too much, but cannot allow himself to be happy. And if he feels happiness, he does not believe that it will last long, and involuntarily brings the end closer: let the bad happen sooner. The painful expectation of the end for a person of this type is worse than the end itself (which, by the way, most often exists only in his imagination).
Avoid sorting things out
People are more closed, turned inward. They are not sure that their actions, efforts, words can really improve anything. They prefer to avoid direct conversation and wait for everything to work itself out. This may be an innate character trait, or it may arise later if the first attempts to sort out relationships with loved ones were unsuccessful and ended in a scandal or breakup.
Strengths:
Supporters of the policy of “avoiding conversation” are capable of maintaining a very difficult and even not very prosperous family union for a long time, sometimes for a lifetime. Their tactics are justified if a moment comes when past conflicts become irrelevant and the couple gently and imperceptibly moves into another phase of the relationship.
Weak sides:
To avoid “showdowns” (which in their eyes clearly mean conflict), they can simply remove themselves from family life. Go on an important business trip, immerse yourself in your work or hobby, disappear at the dacha, rebuild your garage or house for the hundredth time, start renovations, etc. - just to protect yourself from possible changes.
Secret desires:
- People of this type may unconsciously believe that trying to sort things out means that the relationship is over. In fact, they think, since the parties have sat down at the negotiating table, it means they are in a state of war. “You can’t mend a broken vase” is their motto. Therefore, the peace proposal “Let’s talk” is perceived by them as a signal to break up.
- Often, by nature, these are obedient children who are afraid to do anything in their own way and wait for either the desire to disappear, or suddenly “adults” (circumstances, fate) to do everything for them. The ghost, advocating arbitrariness and the destruction of the strict parental figure, circles over them - whether they realize it or not. Moreover, outwardly, a spouse can be a completely successful gentleman - after all, a career is pursued in different ways.
- The "deviators" are primarily concerned about possible negative consequences any changes and want to avoid them at all costs. Even at the cost of stagnation. Naturally, they prefer to wait, avoid sharp corners, and wait for other people’s decisions.
Now remember how your husband or wife reacts to the suggestion “Let’s talk!” Maybe now you understand each other better?
Who is offering to sit down at the negotiating table?
The fact of who exactly is proposing to sort things out can say a lot about relationships in a married couple.
Option 1: The initiator of negotiations is not a brawler, not a bore, but the most concerned about the happiness and well-being of the family member. It is he (she) who is more interested in her fate.
Option 2: Behind the attempt to sort out the relationship sometimes lies the internal desire of the initiator of negotiations to quickly free himself from a connection that does not satisfy him. Disassembly is a means to bring the moment of rupture closer. Perhaps provoke him and even look abandoned and offended.
It is quite simple to determine the true motives: if the initiator of negotiations tries to conduct them constructively, it means that he is determined to maintain the relationship, and if he stubbornly reduces everything to a scandal and indiscriminately blames only his partner for everything, perhaps he feels that he does not need the relationship.
Features of national scandals
Clarification of relations is akin to diplomatic negotiations. This is a whole philosophy, so the style of carrying out such a procedure is also influenced by the spouses’ belonging to a certain cultural and historical environment. The contrast between West and East is also evident in interpersonal relationships. Westerners will try to resolve conflict or confusion through conversation. People close to the east would rather not interfere in the course of events, wait for some time, and if they discuss the situation, it will be when it becomes a thing of the past and loses its emotional charge.
Discussion
I have the same situation as Elena, I won’t say that my husband always attacks without reason, but the very manner of finding out what’s what is simply terrible! He knows how to hook me so much that I can even start to fight (although I’d rather keep quiet when he calms down, I’ll talk to him later), or bring me to tears in 5 minutes! Horror. and doesn’t understand why it offends me so much!!!
02/23/2008 02:23:14, OlyaIt turns out that ALL MEN are obedient children????
“Often by nature, these are obedient children who are afraid to do anything in their own way and wait until either the desire disappears, or suddenly “adults” (circumstances, fate) will do everything for them. A ghost advocating arbitrariness and the destruction of a strict parental figure , circling over them - whether they realize it or not. Moreover, outwardly, the spouse can be a completely successful gentleman - after all, a career is made in different ways."
Thank you! Good article. Helpful information. Helped me understand myself and my loved ones.
07/15/2003 08:49:19, Sasha09.04.2003 14:47:22
Yes, girls, you decide YOURSELF what you want from a man and don’t fool your husbands - if you want to quarrel, then take a ticket to the nearest forest and there in the wilderness swear A LOT!
04/09/2003 14:37:39, VasyaYeah. And if my husband has “eclipses”, when he begins to slander me simply for no reason, accuses me of behaving differently, thinking differently than I should, I want to harm him, then to what class should this case be classified? It reaches the point of absurdity simply, but he is insane and does not listen to any arguments.
And then the “eclipses” pass (after he repeatedly makes me cry), he loves me again and calls himself a fool.
Hello. My situation is the other way around. My husband clings for no reason, and he can’t talk calmly, he almost screams in a raised voice. And the 1.8-year-old child doesn’t bother him, and during these arguments I can’t even get a word in. And he moves away quite quickly but I’m left with a terrible aftertaste. IT HAPPENS SO. It’s a shame.
04/06/2003 23:01:03, ElenaThank you very much! Just today I had another fight with my husband - I tried to “break through the wall of misunderstanding.” A clinical case of not wanting to sort things out, “maybe it will resolve itself.”2 On the contrary, it’s now or never, otherwise I’ll just go crazy. And out of boredom I scream in order to get at least some emotions out of him, to no avail. That’s how we live. It’s a pity, that my husband would NEVER want to read this.
04/04/2003 12:23:58, MariaComment on the article “What can be found out during a showdown”
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And sniffing around for anything here, finding out, calling, is generally pointless. I have been involved in sports all my life, and very closely, but I have never seen a showdown between another parent and a child on the subject of how much, where and when he trained.
Discussion
I'll try to answer everyone at once)))))
1. The situation is really strange. The child arrived 2.5 hours earlier, because... I couldn’t bring it later. Another coach saw me (he also works with our children, but not always) and offered to work out.
2.Parents do not sit on the bench in the lobby; we have access to the inside of the complex. That's the way it is here.
3. The child’s father does not live with us, so we will have to solve the problem ourselves.
4. Regarding payment for additional classes, this right is not given to everyone. There are many people who want it, but only a few take it (for a lot of money). And here it’s free, and even without the knowledge of the main coach (he’s away)
Thank you all very much!!! You helped me a lot!
A strange situation from start to finish. No matter how many times I go to different training sessions (and this is 50-60 classes a year), I have never seen free access for parents to children who are not theirs. In most places, parents do not have access to the territory of the sports complex beyond the waiting room. They brought the children to the specified time, the children themselves go to the locker room. After training, they change clothes, the coach or administrator leads them out to the entrance where the parents are waiting. There are no parents of a specific child - all you have to do is wait in the complex building. Outsiders have no opportunity to communicate with someone else's child without the presence of his mother or father. And who, how much and when to train is only in the competence of the trainer. Considered it necessary Extra time to appoint - has every right and is not obliged to discuss it with anyone. And sniffing around for anything here, finding out, calling, is generally pointless. In your kitchen, indignant at the injustice of life - yes, please. But this is all from the area: “Masha was given a poem of 8 lines at the matinee, but my Petya was given only 4 lines.” I have been involved in sports all my life, and very closely, but I have never seen a showdown between another parent and a child on the subject of how much, where and when he trained. Sur simply
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I will also sort things out only with my husband. I could ruin that lady’s life, but in my mood I was once on the other side of the barricades, and I saw enough of similar triangles at my friends M and F’s...
Discussion
>what does that girl or woman have to do with it?
Oh yes, of course, she has absolutely and absolutely nothing to do with it! All so white and fluffy, and in general, it wasn’t lying nearby. They offend the poor woman for no reason.
No, I understand if she didn’t know that the man was married. Then it really has nothing to do with it. But if it’s the other way around... It’s strange to somehow shield a lady.
I didn't read the thread.
It's easy to talk in theory. If this really affects you, God forbid, negative feelings towards her will come from where.
Many men, just like that, are also in a hurry to tear their opponents apart like a rag... why? He didn’t promise anything to his deceived husband? :):):)
Is it necessary to sort things out? or let everything flow as it flows? Is it important to achieve clarity, I’m talking about the relationship between a man and a woman! It often slips that everything needs to be put in its place, and men, in my opinion, really don’t like this, am I right?
Discussion
I hate sorting things out. And I never do this. If something in a relationship doesn’t suit me, I simply stop picking up the phone when it rings, and the relationship ends on its own. Very comfortably.
As a last resort, if we met for a long time before, I think the person has the right to get an explanation, so I say: I’m not happy with this and that. I would like such and such. You can't give it to me, so goodbye. Demonstratively and for show, I never leave anyone - if I’ve already decided, that’s it.
Yes, men really don’t like it when people try to put them in their places.
I regularly (and regret it every time) sort things out with my husband and can’t sort them out. After each conversation, life stands still - he literally assures that everything is in order, while he behaves as before.
Discussion
What's the point of constantly sorting things out? I try to talk - if it doesn’t work, I draw a conclusion.
“I regularly (and every time I regret it) sort things out with my husband and can’t sort them out.” - it sounds as if you are having exhausting conversations for both of you that have no result. Everything is about the same thing, but things are still there?
Then change tactics. Every undertaking must have a purpose. And the result.
If talking doesn't help, look for other ways to understand...
“And globally - when to sort things out - IMHO, when both have “free time”, no one is in a hurry, no one is hungry and no one falls asleep on the go.” The main problem is that such moments happen extremely rarely for us and it’s a pity to waste them on sorting things out.
Discussion
With a child it’s definitely low. I immediately drag my husband (or he me) into another room and there... wow. True, this doesn’t affect sex in any way for us :) we need to learn not to mix problems
the child goes to the shower (or to play) and tell the faithful everything that you think, without attacks, you just express your point of view, sometimes you admit that he is right in essence, but not in content. Yesterday, for example, a child came home from his grandmother in a kind of “whip-up” mood, snapped at everything, etc., so dad should have kept quiet until he calmed down, no, I have to argue, insist on his own, as a result, I listened to their bickering all evening until I got tired of it, the child went to the shower, dad had a “preventative” conversation, the rest of the evening passed peacefully :) the child was also told not to “burrow himself” (without the presence of dad)..
He is, in principle, one of those who doesn’t particularly like to sort things out. At first I had a strong talk with my husband - there was hysteria, and tears with snot, and finding out why she was better and I was worse.
Discussion
I have a similar situation, my husband left for someone else, he hasn’t lived at home for three months now, at first there were also tears, requests to come back, but now it’s eased up a little. I see him every day, we work in the same building, he comes home on Saturdays, and together we shop for groceries for the week. At our last explanation, he said that he loves her too and doesn’t want to lose anything here, and that I should give him a month to think... that is, this month he will live with her, and in a month he will return home, because he cannot see my I feel sorry for the suffering and the children......the month ends in a week.. I can’t decide to take him back or give him a kick in the ass, I’m very afraid of a repetition of mental anguish
01/27/2019 11:31:34, Yulia112You were offered to have sex, you told him that you had problems and the person responded to your problems ####. What else do you need to explain?
01/27/2019 11:30:20, Yulia112Resist from sorting things out - how? If I’m not happy with what he’s doing (going on vacation with our son and his parents under the pretext that I’m busy), and I think that “sorting things out,” in other words, discussing my family life definitely necessary.
Discussion
In my opinion, the whole point is that you still have not been able to accept and forgive that betrayal. Let’s not discuss why people cheat at all for now, this is too big and a separate topic. If you want, you can talk about her over soap. Something else is more important now - your own personal attitude towards what has already happened anyway. If you decide to save your family, then first of all you need, as they say, to work on yourself. It is naive to expect that the husband will now constantly repent and “atone for his sins.” Moreover, in conditions when he probably had reasons for such an act. At least, in his own understanding. On the contrary, you constantly put pressure on him. This is not like that, this is not like that. Yes, he is not a saint. But you, too, are a living person, and therefore are not sinless. So it turns out that as a result, tension only accumulates in the family. And therefore, there are more and more grounds for mutual claims. How else could this end other than divorce? Vicious circle. Do you need it? If yes, then it’s better to get a divorce right now and not get on your nerves. If not... then... you need to change your behavior and your attitude. There is no other way. Although it is difficult. Very hard.
I believe that it is imperative to “sort things out”, or in other words, to discuss your family life. But it would be better to do this without attacking or demanding, i.e. not in the form of a “claim” - “response claim”, but in the form of almost a monologue, or something... “Please listen to me and try not to interrupt, I want to tell you, try to understand me, it’s difficult for me, I’m offended, I really wanted to "would" etc. To be honest, we do this regularly. Of course, sometimes we break down when we shout, we are all temperamental people))) Humor, irony, etc. - EXTREMELY useful tools in such conversations. But you must know your position firmly so as not to be confused! Don't let the conversation get sidetracked, lead your line. “This is also important, we will come back to this, but that’s not what we’re talking about now, let’s agree on what we started about,” etc.
But you can go all-in - start a showdown and sort things out. In short, I realized that now it’s better to remain silent, not to disturb his happiness, not to “graze”, not to interfere with sex:((, not to sort things out, and at the same time be fluffy and affectionate.
But in general, yes, I would not go in such a situation, since interest in it means recognition of the seriousness of this relationship, i.e. You yourself become on the same level with her. I even found out the phone number and address, and it didn’t give me any peace of mind, it was just extra hassle that came flooding in...
All couples fight. Of course, there are those who are incredibly proud that in their family, in just a few years, life together never happened conflict situations. But I don’t believe in such unprecedented harmony. In my opinion, such people simply do not voice the reasons for their discontent, accumulating everything within themselves. As a result, the cup overflows and the relationship is on the verge of breaking.
Perfect marriage
An example of this is my friend Natasha. 6 years happy marriage and a six-month-old baby, who had been planned for many years. During all this time married life- not a single quarrel.
Everyone was silently envious when Alexey ran home at lunchtime to prepare Natasha something to eat or put the child to bed. Natasha did it to her husband romantic surprises. They were always together and often associated themselves with halves of a single whole, who in principle could not quarrel.
It all ended unexpectedly. One morning at breakfast, Alexey said that in the evening he was packing his things and moving to rented apartment. The reason he voiced sounded something like this: “I’m tired of playing the perfect couple. Don’t you see how much discontent has boiled between the two of us?”
And then for the first time Natasha became hysterical and the first plate flew into the wall. Alexey was dumbfounded. He said, “I thought you were a civilized person. And after what you did, I was once again convinced of the correctness of my decision.”
You know, after this story, I was once again convinced that a showdown is sometimes beneficial. It consists of this:
Quarrel allows you to throw out negative emotions,
Allows you to avoid the accumulation of grievances, which is fraught with depression and other consequences,
Helps to better understand the partner’s point of view and his desires.
But not every conflict can take your relationship to a new level. For example, sometimes women provoke men so much that a quarrel turns into a fight. Of course, in this case everyone blames the man. And no one thinks about what made him raise his hand to the woman he loves (of course, there are other cases). 
Finding out the relationship correctly
How not to sort things out, so as not to bitterly regret your words and ruined marriage?
1. Never insult your opponent. Even if you really want, in a fit of emotion, to compare it with a representative of the horned family, you shouldn’t do this.
2. Don't remember the past. If your husband is unhappy, for example, with buying a new handbag for exorbitant amounts of money, do not reproach him for buying a laptop the year before.
3. Don't sort things out in public. Not only will you humiliate a person by doing this, but you will also ruin your reputation by being branded as a hysterical person.
4. Instead of the phrases “How could you...” or “Why did you...”, use phrases that characterize your feelings. For example, you can say: “I’m offended that you didn’t consult with me!” Agree, the emotional connotations of these phrases are completely different.
5. If you see that the situation is reaching a dead end, take a break. For example, go to the store to buy bread. And you will return to the conversation when the emotions subside.
Do you think a relationship without quarrels is possible? Is it easy for you to restrain your emotions during a showdown?
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“Darlings scold, only amuse themselves” says folk wisdom, and I wouldn’t call quarrels fun. Nobody wants to swear, but the world is not without it. And so, with the help of this article, it will become easier to sort things out correctly,
so to speak, let's learn to swear correctly. It is always difficult to sort things out; some people sit down and talk, while others make scenes of discontent in the hope of being heard by their other half. Since it is more common for a woman to read articles than a man, naturally, all the advice will be dedicated to women. Ladies, let's learn how to sort things out correctly!2 264664
Photo gallery: Learning to sort things out correctly
Of course, during quarrels and disagreements, women are more emotional than men, and therefore swearing becomes more global. And in order not to spoil the mood of either yourself or your beloved man, you must first learn to control your emotions. Believe me, the fact that we get angry, from indignation and from dissatisfaction will not make it easier and the problems will not disappear, and therefore why should we spoil our own nerves, from which signs of aging appear on the skin and not only. Rule #1 There's no need to be so nervous without finding out everything. Of course, it is part of our nature to cry something incomprehensible to men, but our excessive emotions will only worsen our situation and the situation of our relationships.
It’s easier for men to walk away from a roaring and screaming woman and wait until we calm down, not because they don’t care about us, but because it’s easier for them to leave than to calm a roaring creature. Rule #2 don’t cry sobbing that you can’t breathe, you need to lightly shed a tear, pressing on pity, because without tears a woman can turn into a robot, and hysteria, screams plus tears make men nervous. And light tears and calm speech can turn everything in your direction. Unfoundedness and lack of logic kills them, so all claims must be presented correctly with Swiss precision.
Rule #3, the conversation should be without dryness, there is no need to demonstratively show your offense. There is no need to talk like a robot, show that you care about him and your relationship and yourself, but do not be selfish. Be moderately emotional. Exactly convey to them the subject of the conversation and the reason for the dissatisfaction.
Rule #4, when talking, hold your sharp feminine tongue a little, as another popular wisdom says, “a word is not a sparrow, if it flies out, you won’t catch it,” and it may happen that in an impulse of the soul or in the hearts you insult your loved one, you will forget, but he will remember. There is no need to try to hurt him more, especially if the questions relate to bed, because sooner or later you will make peace anyway, if everything does not lead to a breakup. And you shouldn’t put an end to the relationship because of some quarrel, because it is words that play a big role, not actions. It is words that are remembered more than erroneous deeds.
Rule #5, after a quarrel, a night of reconciliation may follow, and in this case, you should not refuse and “turn away” your beloved man, because for you, demonstrating your own resentment can turn in a completely different direction, your man may go in search of solace in someone else’s arms . So it’s better to bury the hatchet in bed and forget about all the bad things.
Rule #6, a calm, quiet and peaceful conversation is the key to your victory. Express to him all your desires and desires, all your satisfactions and discontents, because men cannot read our thoughts. Because you think more and more often about the very thing that you would like to convey to your man, he still will not hear your thoughts. Thoughts are read only in Brazilian TV series, where a man can fulfill the wishes of his chosen one day after day.
One of my friends constantly buys the necessary useful little things for her beloved man, sometimes she’ll buy panties, sometimes she’ll “fit” a new T-shirt, sometimes she’ll apply them to a cup. group photo and gives it to him, but she herself receives nothing in return, just flowers and trips to the cinema or to the parks. She also wants him to give her something she needs, even a toothbrush, as she said. When I asked if she told him about her desires, she indignantly said, “No, of course.” But in vain, because men don’t see what we need and that sometimes we might prefer a toothbrush instead of a rose. There is no need to be offended by him and accumulate resentment, you just need to ask: “Dear, buy me this and that.” Yes, of course, it would be very nice to unexpectedly receive as a gift the little thing we need with the words “dear, I noticed here...”, which was on our list of small wishes, but, alas, men are not as practical as we are and do not see it what we see.
It is never easy to sort things out, and therefore there is no need to make this task even more difficult.Quarrels, of course, are useful for shaking up relationships, according to psychologists, and renew feelings and emotions, quarrels are a test of the strength of our feelings, but when there are a lot of them or they arise out of the blue for no reason, this is no longer good. So get rid of negative emotions other ways, and not through quarrels. After all, there are many ways to express and renew your feelings. Let's sort things out correctly and get out of any situations without raised voices and tears!
For some reason, most people in our modern world think that sort things out It’s not worth it at all, because everything is already clear, and talking can ruin the future. There are various sayings that reflect the essence of this problem, but they are all somehow the same and do not carry any explanations.
Why really sort things out?
Sort things out in fact, this is a fairly necessary element in relationships between people, especially between loved ones, because when we quarrel, we are ready to blurt out to each other everything that has accumulated in our souls over the past time, and we also manage to give instructions for the future and remember something that was not yet in sight.
Pay attention to what you can say to your partner in a quarrel, what words you can utter. IN ordinary life, you wouldn’t even think about it and would never dare to say something like that out loud, but in a quarrel - please. So maybe in order to prevent this from happening, we need to sort things out? Maybe this is why we need to talk to each other and express our feelings?
When everything is good with us, we don’t think badly of each other, we don’t notice shortcomings, and even if we notice, we don’t attach much importance to it, because next to us is a loved one whom we should take care of, whom we should love and listen. But the days come when a big scandal can break out because of some little thing. Most often this happens when one of the partners is not having a good day because of a harmful boss at work, quarrels with colleagues, clashes with friends or girlfriends, or simply because the weather is bad outside. It is on these days that we are most often subject to nagging, reproaches, and so on, no, we do not do this on purpose so that the other person also experiences bad feelings, this is not selfishness, we do this on purpose because we feel bad and are angry.
It is during these days that our significant other begins to feel offended, because, as it seems to them, we take our anger out on them instead of seeking consolation and care. This is where nit-picking, reproaches, quarrels and even scandals arise, which, okay, if they are simply forgotten in best case scenario, but they can lead to a break in the relationship, which will be difficult to fix, and for what? Due to the bad mood of one of the partners.
In fact, scandals occur due to the fact that we do not talk to each other, do not sort things out, after all, when passions subside, we prefer to hug and forget everything, however, we do not forget our grievances, but simply put them in a long box, which then opens again and everything breaks out. Therefore, to prevent this from happening, we simply must sort things out, discuss problems even after we have made peace, because that’s how we let's understand better our partner, we will be able to adjust our actions in time in the future and, in the end, we will simply be able to improve our relationship. Yes, it most often happens that in the process of sorting out relationships, people argue even more, but this does not mean that you do not need to talk to each other, it means that you simply do not know how to listen and hear each other.
Just think what conversations with your loved one can bring you, you can tell him everything you want, and he will listen to you and try to understand. How precious these efforts will be to you. Also, you will be able to hear your partner, you will be able to understand what exactly he wanted to tell you and convey to you, you will no longer guess and rack your brains over the words he said, you will be able to ask him himself what exactly he meant.
With such opportunities, you can do everything to ensure that your personal life always blooms and that your relationship never ends.
