Why men beat women: reasons, psychology of behavior, negative emotions and opinions of psychologists. “If a man beats a woman, it means he’s not a man, but a rag.”

These are the answers to the question: “Why does a man beat a woman?” I foundon the Internet on various forums at one time. It was this question that led me to study psychology. It was thanks to him that I went to various educational programs and trainings. I wanted to improve my relationship with my wife! And I didn't know what to do? I didn’t know why this happens in our lives if we love each other so much. Why do our quarrels lead to assault? I needed an answer. And, frankly, in my opinion, the answer: “If a man beats a woman, then it’s not a man, but a rag” is the stupidest. May women who have suffered from their men forgive me, but this answer does not explain anything. This response is more like an attempt to express your resentment towards the man, take revenge on him and somehow explain his behavior. But in fact, this does not explain his behavior in any way. And even more so, it does not answer the question: “What to do about it?” Even if we say that a man is mentally ill, this explains his behavior more than the word “rag”.

I am sincerely convinced that any man who loves his woman wants the best for her. He does everything in his power to make her happy! The question is, what is happening to him that he comes to the point of assault? Let's discard cases in which a man is really seriously mentally ill and is unable to control his actions, or is an alcoholic, drug addict, etc. Although even these cases can be analyzed, but not in this article. Let's consider a case where a man loves his woman, is mentally healthy and can control his actions. Does such a man really want to beat his wife? Hardly. What's the point of this? But why then does this happen? What's wrong with him: low self-esteem, inability to stand up for himself? He can’t fight back against the stronger, so he takes it out on the weaker? There is some truth in this, but only if we consider this issue from the position that only the man is responsible for such behavior in the family.

In any relationship, two people are responsible. Not all women will agree with me, but that's how it is. It is not easy to accept the fact that spouses influence each other. What if one of them changes their behavior, this will lead to a different outcome of events. “But how can that be? He's the one who hits me, isn't he? How can he? I'm not hitting him, am I? What did I do to him?” Have you tried to understand your man? Why is he acting this way? What happens to him the moment he raises his hand to you? The point is that you can blame a man for being a wuss, but you can also blame a woman. A well-known saying: “If a third husband hits you in the face, maybe it’s not the husband, but the face?” Let women forgive me again for such a saying. I have no goal to offend anyone or protect anyone. I went through all this myself and I know how painful it is and how difficult it is.

But still, why does this happen? Why does a woman leave a man who beats her, finds a more decent man, but over time he also begins to beat her? So, after all, this woman somehow does something that brings a man to assault. So then, is the woman to blame? No. Two people are responsible!

You can blame a man, you can blame a woman, but if they love each other and want to improve their relationship, then blaming will do nothing.

I know women who threatened their husbands: “If you hit me again, I will call the police. Or I’ll find those who will deal with you!” But the fact is that this will not produce results. A man under the influence of fear will not stop beating his wife. He already feels guilty for this! And besides, he feels fear too. Fear of seriously harming your wife. Fear of losing your wife. Fear of being alone.

A man hits his woman for a reason. He hits her because she touches his deep emotional wounds, consciously or unconsciously. We all come from childhood! And everyone has their own story. In addition, in relationships people behave this way, this is how their parents behaved in relationships. As children, we unconsciously adopt the scenario of the relationship between our parents and then begin to live out this scenario in our future families. But, since the husband has one scenario (his parental family), and the wife has another (her parental family), often these scenarios may not coincide. And most often this is what happens! Then conflicts arise! After the stage of the candy-bouquet period, people begin to correct each other: “You are not behaving like a real man! (not like my dad)”, “And you’re not acting like a woman at all! (not like my mom).” Yes, on the one hand, we want to correct our soulmate so that she becomes more consistent with the image that we have based on our parental family. But on the other hand, we find our soul mate based on our experience in our parental family. So, it is a known fact that a man is looking for a woman who is like his mother, and a woman is looking for a husband who is like her father. And this is how it is in the first stages of a relationship. But then it turns out that our woman is not our mother at all, and our husband is not our father at all, and then the process of sorting things out begins.

But still, why does it sometimes happen that the process of sorting out relationships is not limited to just scandals and screams? Again, this all goes far from childhood and parental families. The child sees his parents arguing and, again, unconsciously remembers this scenario. If you analyze all your quarrels with your husband or wife, you will find that they all (or almost all) follow the same scenario. Most often, one person starts a quarrel, then the other person somehow reacts to this, then the quarrel heats up, it comes to a climax, after which there is detente and reconciliation. It is very useful to analyze who in the family usually starts a quarrel and what exactly triggers the process of ending events. It is very interesting to discover after this that exactly the same scenario occurred in parent families husband and wife. We choose our soulmate for a reason. It’s not just that two family systems converge! They complement each other perfectly! And our task is to find reconciliation! Learn to live together with mutual respect for yourself, your partner, your parents and your partner's parents.

As I already wrote, a child sees how his parents argue and at the same moment he learns how to sort things out with his future partner. If a father beats his mother, then it is very likely that their son will beat his wife. And he will meet a wife whose father also beat her mother. But it happens that the father does not beat the mother, and in the future young family the husband begins to be his wife. Why is this happening here? The fact is that even if the father does not beat the mother, this does not mean that he does not have such an impulse. Most likely, he knows how to control himself very well. But it often happens that after a quarrel he goes smoking or gets drunk. That is, he has aggression and does not go away. A healthy option is when two people shouted, expressed their dissatisfaction to each other, then calmed down and agreed on how to avoid such a misunderstanding in the future. And in an unhealthy situation, someone suppresses their aggression, which then results in beatings, alcohol or smoking. Do you think a man wants to be a woman? Of course not! He simply controlled himself for so long that he simply could no longer restrain himself and his body was simply forced to react somehow.

Also, tendencies towards the use of physical force are observed in families where there is no respect for men. What does it mean? This means that any action of a man is controlled by his wife and is constantly criticized. Any of his merits is taken for granted and devalued, and any mistake is emphasized and inflated to large proportions. “What kind of man are you? You can't do anything! Give it here, I’ll do better.” - a man perceives these phrases very painfully, and he has no choice but to prove that he is a man through the use of physical force.

It is also a common case when a father does not beat a mother, but beats a child - a future husband or wife. Father can't afford to hit his wife, so he has no choicehow to take your anger out on your child. And the child will already have experience for the future on how to behave in his future family. And in fact, he will not be his wife, he will beat his offender! His wife will remind him of his evil father! Or vice versa - she will remind him of his mother, who said offensive things to his father in front of the child, thereby humiliating both him and his father.

The point is that women are morally stronger than men. Their physical strength is not so developed, so they resort to moral pressure on their manhood. A man is not able to endure such psychological pressure for long and is forced to either run away or attack. Moreover, as I already wrote, a wife can unconsciously “grope” for weak points - childhood traumas of her husband and remind them of them in her own words.

But in fact, this is not what everyone wants! A woman, humiliating her husband, telling him offensive words, wants something completely different: “Tell me that you love me! Give me a hug! Tell me everything will be fine!” And the man wants the following: “Stop humiliating me. Tell me I'm good! Say that you love me!". But if only it were so simple - to move on from your injuries and just stop the quarrel. The people closest to you are affected by the deepest traumas and it is very difficult to cope with this.

So what to do? How can a husband stop beating his wife, and a wife stop driving her husband to the point where he raises his hand to her?

I would like to say a few more words about the difference in mental characteristics between a man and a woman. In order to cope with stress, it is important for a woman to speak out, and for a man, on the contrary, to be in silence, calm down and calm his thoughts. That is why, in a quarrel, a woman begins to attack a man with words, and the man wants to run away from his wife’s screams. At the same time, if the wife cannot speak out, her stress increases, and the man’s stress increases when he cannot escape from the unfolding conflict. It would seem like a vicious circle... But just the awareness of such a difference in the psyche can help a lot! Just respecting the fact that a woman needs to speak out and a man needs to be alone can significantly reduce the duration and intensity of the quarrel.

First of all, it will be important for the husband to stop blaming himself. It's not easy, yes! But without this step, everything else will be useless! It is important to accept this quality in yourself: “Yes, I am capable of hitting my beloved woman!” Do I want this?- No. But for now I don’t know how to do it any other way. But I will definitely learn to do without it!” The next step is to find safe ways to respond to aggression. As I already wrote, a man beats a woman because he is no longer able to control his anger. And this anger was accumulated not in 5 minutes or even in 15. This anger has been accumulating for years! Most often, such men are very respectable in society. No one would think that they could hit a woman. However, in reality these men have a lot of repressed aggression. They suppress it on the street, at work, but at home they simply cannot restrain themselves. Playing sports will be very useful for such men! Creative activities where they can act out their aggression may also be helpful. But I don’t mean that creativity, where everything is beautiful, but thatwhere pain, anger and despair are expressed. As an example, this could be a way to draw your anger with black paint on paper. I had experience working with a teenage girl who had a lot of repressed aggression and she drew all sorts of monsters. And at the same time, her parents didn’t like it and they wanted her to draw butterflies and angels. So, angels and butterflies will not help while there are a bunch of monsters in your soul. First you need to free these monsters, and then fill your soul with butterflies and angels.

It is also useful for men to start taking their aggression out of the house and into the street. Change the place of its manifestation! If you previously kept silent about the fact that you were rude, pushed, or stepped on, start at least simply expressing your dissatisfaction. Even muttering to myself! Remember that you will bring any suppressed aggression home to your beloved wife. Do you want to share it with her? Unlikely.

And one more important recommendation - be aware! What does it mean? Firstly, monitor your state - when it’s already boiling and somehow begin to react to it. Declaring: “Now I can hit. I need a break! I need to calm down." Start swearing - not at your wife, but simply to voice your condition. Start pounding the sofa! There is no need for a wall, you can hurt yourself! And the sofa is soft, it’s safer. And what does it mean to be aware - to understand who you are really angry with now? Who do you really want to punch in the face right now?

For the wife, the recommendations will be as follows. The first thing is to realize that your man can hit you. And he will do this not because he is bad, and not because you are bad, but because he has deep wounds in his soul and he cannot yet cope with them. Learn to track exactly what your behavior, what words and phrases triggerhusband outbursts of anger. And stop using these words, phrases and demonstrating such behavior. Learn to track the moment when your husband is already on edge and ready to hit you and at that moment pause. Better earlier. Give your husband the opportunity to be alone with himself. If you see that he wants to leave, let him go! When he calms down, he will return! Then he can hug you and ask for forgiveness! In the quarrel itself, avoid offensive words that reflect your husband’s identity: “rag, brute, scoundrel” and much more offensive. Yes, this is offensive for a man, but by doing so you will only cause a powerful outburst of anger in him. It is much better to say: “Your behavior is bad. I really hate it when you do this!” I know it's not easy! And you can’t change it overnight, but over time, it will become easier and easier and will become natural. And quarrels will pass more smoothly and end faster.

Another effective way is to help the husband realize at whom his aggression is actually directed. If it’s about your mother, then in a moment of anger say: “I’m not your mother - I’m your wife!” The same is the case with dad. At first, this may cause a bewildered reaction in the husband. But after repeating this phrase several times, he will begin to think about whether he is really so angry with you?

And, of course, respect your man! Whatever he is, he is worthy of respect! He does everything he can to make you happy! And he does everything he can to stop hurting you.

I know that the process of working with aggression is very difficult and lengthy! But if there is love and a desire to improve relationships, then anything is possible! Do not wait quick results! Don't expect your husband to stop hitting you right away. But over time it will pass if you constantly work on it.

Insults and assault in the family are a sensitive topic. Many representatives of the fair sex, faced with psychological aggression or physical violence from their loved one, try to hide this fact. However, keeping silent about such a serious problem will not lead to anything good. Why does a man insult and beat his woman: what is the psychology of a tyrant? Let's talk about this.

Your relationship with your loved one is harmonious, and you are sure that you have found true happiness, but suddenly the unexpected happens - instead of words of love, your partner begins to insult you, be rude and shout. Why did it happen? The psychology of relationships is a complex science; any situation has its own nuances, but if a man insults a woman, then it’s definitely not worth tolerating. We need to find the reason for the change in his behavior and try to restore the former harmony. If you fail to do this, end the relationship, because insults and humiliation are often harbingers of assault. In addition, constant stress can provoke prolonged depression.

The psychology of the sexes is very different, so many representatives of the fair sex find it difficult to understand why a man insults his woman. In most cases, this is how the husband wants to establish himself at the expense of his wife. As a rule, a “domestic tyrant” cannot boast of significant achievements in life, but strives to be the “leader of the pack.” Men with complexes try to “crush” their wife psychologically; attacks arise when the husband feels that his wife is superior to him in many ways. With the help of humiliation, a man tries to make his beloved insecure and lower her self-esteem. This also happens when a gentleman is afraid of losing his companion.

Important! The psychology of the actions of a tyrant can have many reasons; you need to think not about why a man humiliates and insults a woman, but how to solve this problem and whether it is worth holding on to this relationship at all.

There is no need to endure humiliation. Try talking to your lover, but if it doesn't work, leave. If you are familiar with psychological aggression firsthand, and there is a child growing up in your family, then you should not look for an answer to the question of why a man yells at a woman, but urgently protect the child from conflicts; psychology knows many cases when the situation repeats itself. That is, if a boy sees his father regularly humiliating his mother, he may adopt this behavior towards his wife in the future. A girl from a family where her mother suffers humiliation often believes that this is the psychology of all representatives of the stronger sex; the question of why a man is rude to a woman and whether this is right does not even occur to her. Why ruin the life of yourself and your child?

Man hits woman

“Hitting means loving,” - there is nothing more absurd than this famous phrase. The psychology of more than one generation of representatives of the fair sex was formed on this phrase; many still believe that if a man raised his hand to his woman, then there is nothing wrong with it. The victim may hear from friends “It’s your own fault,” “Be patient,” and much more, so many girls hide the fact that their partner allows himself to be assaulted. This is an abnormal situation; in most cases, the problem can only be solved by breaking off the relationship, but there are exceptions. For example, if a man does not hit a woman regularly, but only once raised his hand in a quarrel, being at the peak of emotions: female psychology is such that they are ready to forgive the misdeeds of their loved ones if they have an explanation.

Important! Before forgiving a blow, slap or push, make sure that your partner truly sincerely repents and understands that such a situation a priori cannot happen again.

Relationship psychology describes many reasons why a man hits a woman. As a rule, assault is allowed by insecure and complex representatives of the stronger sex, but sometimes in this way they “relieve irritation” and successful men. If a boy saw domestic violence as a child, then as an adult he can copy his father’s behavior. Psychology cannot answer the question of why a man raises his hand against a woman when the origins of the problem lie in another area: for example, alcohol and drug addicts and individuals with mental disorders are prone to assault.

Attention! Many girls, at the beginning of a relationship with a partner, allow him, as if as a joke, to say offensive words to them, to jokingly demonstrate physical strength. This is a big mistake; the joke can later develop into real aggression.

They say that if he hits, it means he loves, but, in fact, this proverb sounds more like an excuse for those men who raise their hands against their girls. After all, even if you think logically, how can a person hurt someone he loves? And that's exactly what these guys do.

In fact, when a man beats a woman, this is not a manifestation of love, but of a desire to lead someone, to make a puppet out of a person. Often, those who suffer from their complexes and lack of fulfillment raise their hands against women.

Such a man, choosing a woman for himself and falling in love with her, actually falls in love with the image that he invented for himself. In psychology, this is called replacing a real person with a teddy bear.

That is, the model of behavior of such a man resembles the behavior of a child playing with a teddy bear. The kid sees the bear as a friend who does only what the child likes. He says good things, comes and goes when the child wants him to. IN childhood This behavior is normal, but there are people who grow up, but still behave with loved ones like teddy bears.

When they see that a woman does not want to act and behave in accordance with the image that the man came up with, they begin to get angry and irritated. This becomes the root cause of why men beat women.

A guy with a normal psyche and an adequate assessment of the world will not hit a woman, even if she is really guilty of something. The maximum he can do is push away or slap in the face in a fit of emotion. But he will never beat a girl purposefully.

But the one who sees instead of the girl Teddy bear and wants the bear to continue to behave in accordance with that scenario, begins to show aggression and raise his hand to the woman. Such people are called despots. They live in their own distorted world, into the framework of which they try to fit everyone around them, and especially those closest to them.

When a woman begins a relationship with a despot man, initially, she may not even notice that he is exactly like that. The fact is that despots show their nature only when they begin to be afraid of losing someone. And, in the first stages of a relationship, there is no great attachment to a person, and, accordingly, this fear.

The fear of despots of losing someone is very different from the fear of an ordinary, completely adequate person. If a person without despotic inclinations fears for his loved ones, worrying about their health and life in general, then the despot does not care what happens to his pseudo-beloved.

He just needs to not lose his teddy bear. If the bear turns into a real person, then it is sometimes better for the despot to destroy it altogether than to come to terms with this. This is the main reason why a man beats a woman.

It seems to him that in this way he returns his beloved, who for some reason began to behave incorrectly. Often, despots who beat women say that the girls themselves bring them down. It seems to the despot that the woman does everything to spite him, although, in fact, she simply stops behaving in accordance with the image that he invented for her.

Very often, despots begin to beat women who for a certain time agreed with them on everything, and then, suddenly, began to express their opinion. In this case, the despot simply thinks that by beating a woman, he teaches her to live correctly and act as she should. Although, in fact, he just wants her to be for him the image that he created, and which, in principle, is impossible to live up to.

When a woman gets involved with a despot man, she must understand that such a person will not give her the opportunity to be who she wants. He will always try to destroy her opinion and suppress her ego, since for such a person only his vision of the world is normal and he either expels all those who disagree from his life, or they do everything so that the person simply becomes a copy. But, since it is not always possible to use methods of violence with men, despots take out all their unfulfilled desires on women.

If a man hits, many girls endure it. This absolutely cannot be done. When a guy has truly raised his hand to a woman at least once in his life, you should immediately think about what such a relationship will lead to next. And if a man also reads a woman, beating her, and says that she is to blame for everything, that she brings him to such a state - this obvious signs that the guy is a despot.

In this case, a woman has two ways to solve such a problem. The first is to leave. The second is to try to convince the man that he has some psychological disorders and needs to fight it. We must remember that not all despots really understand what they are doing.

Some people simply have a distorted perception of reality and it seems to them that they cannot behave differently. But, if you try to explain to such a person what his problem is, he can begin to work on himself and change over time. Although, some people need a lot of time for this, while others will never be able to cope.

Therefore, even if you managed to reach the man, you should not immediately console yourself with hopes that everything will be fine. And also, when a guy is despotic, even if you try to help him, you should do it from a distance, since outbursts of anger will continue in any case.

In order to understand why men beat women, you need to know what happened to them in childhood. Often, such guys grow up from boys who did not have enough love and care from their parents. Due to lack of attention, they cannot understand what normal should be interpersonal relationships and create them yourself.

But, often, such a child develops incorrect behavior patterns, and he creates his own fictional world, because he feels superfluous in the real one. When such a person grows up, he continues to invent characters and try to “glue” them to real people.

And, due to the fact that a living person cannot fit the mold, the despot begins to get irritated, because it seems to him that his loved one is trying to destroy that ideal world in which the despot feels good. The consequence of this is beatings.

If a woman encounters a man who beats her, she must understand that such a person is not mentally healthy. You need to realize that such behavior has never been and will never be normal and something urgently needs to be done about it. Or try to convey to him the fact that he needs psychological help. Or leave such a person immediately, because without long-term work with a psychologist he will not be able to change his behavior pattern, and will continue to beat the person who seems to be loved by him.

Every person faces aggression almost every day - in public transport, store, at work. Usually such moments are forgotten, the remaining unpleasant aftertaste quickly disappears. It is more difficult if cases of aggression occur in the family; a person who should be a reliable shoulder, protection, support, mercilessly beats his wife. There is no point in leaving such incidents unattended, even isolated ones - things will become much more serious in the future. To the question of why a man raises his hand against a woman, psychology gives a clear answer. The connection between the spouses has weakened significantly, it is worth considering how important it is to maintain the relationship.

The reasons need to be looked for much deeper, eliminated if possible (often you have to seek the help of a specialist), or you simply shouldn’t be afraid to start life anew - there is a risk that things will get worse. Statistics say: regular incidents of violence often end disastrously for the victim.

Why does a husband beat his wife, psychology and reasons:

If a husband beats his wife, psychology can provide many more provoking factors. Even change causes aggression hormonal levels in the body, fear of losing family respect. Sometimes it is difficult to understand the reasons without the help of a psychologist, so you need to visit a specialist immediately after the first manifestation of violence.

What to do, what to do if your husband uses force?

How to react if there is violence in the family and the husband beats his wife, psychology is categorical - you don’t need to endure it. Such cases will provoke sad consequences, one of which is the destruction of personality. The help of a specialist will be powerless. Come back to full life, statistics show, only a few women get it.

If a man raises his hand against a woman, psychology suggests changing the situation - leaving. It is recommended to choose a calm, quiet place, allowing you to think about whether you should try to save the marriage and correct your husband’s behavior. Cases when a spouse changes in better side, refuses assault, rare. Practice proves that the slightest provoking factor is enough to cause a breakdown. Then it gets worse - the man will try to take revenge for leaving, to punish arbitrariness.

If you had to leave home after the husband raised his hand against his wife, the advice of a psychologist will help determine the further line of behavior:

• contact a specialist who will help you open up, continue to enjoy life, and explain ways to overcome difficulties without the support of an aggressor husband;
• meet with your spouse only on neutral territory (in a crowded place), go to a meeting accompanied by a friend, relatives, or work colleagues;
• in case of divorce, consult with, ask to study the documents;
• pay attention to children - the child’s psyche has difficulty accepting information about the parents’ breakup, it is recommended to say that dad left for work;
• not to be ashamed of what happened - tell friends and family the reason for the breakup, accept material, spiritual help, support;
• Don't be afraid to go to court. Condemnation of relatives is not a reason to refuse worthy punishment of an abusive spouse;
• do not pay attention to unfriendly whispers, condemnations, gossip behind your back - the condemnation of neighbors and friends is not enough to tolerate subsequent attacks of your husband’s aggression.

If a man raises his hand against a woman, psychology warns - aggression and vindictiveness come next. The spouse will certainly try to use force again, punishing for leaving. It is not recommended to be alone with your husband even for a minute - it is impossible to predict the consequences of carelessness.

Correcting your husband - is it possible?

A woman’s desire to save her marriage by trying to change her husband’s behavior is understandable - ladies cannot imagine loneliness. Will it be possible to correct the behavior of the other half, how to stop aggressive manifestations on the husband’s side - questions for which it is recommended to seek answers from a specialist.

What to do if your husband hit you, is it worth forgiving, the advice of a psychologist will be accepted the right decision irreplaceable. Experts warn: both spouses need to change.

A woman must realize that too much depends on the behavior of her wife. Immediately tune in to the difficulties. Supporting your husband in his endeavors, the ability to listen carefully, give advice, and avoid conflicts are a small part of the psychologist’s recommendations. To prove to your spouse by your behavior that your soulmate is nearby, regardless of success or life’s problems.

Criticism of a spouse is unacceptable, even if a man acts incorrectly, mistakes will lead to unpleasant situations. Forget past shortcomings, misdeeds - no reproaches! Frequent encouragement, praise, flattering words are the only option for communication.

How to change your spouse after situations in which a man beats a woman. A representative of the stronger sex should find a way to relieve emotions and direct aggressiveness in a different direction. There are two effective methods developed by psychologists.

The first option is to get out of the habit of asserting an opinion using assault. Learn to express thoughts and actions in words. It is enough to express dissatisfaction with your spouse and explain the reason for your anger - you won’t have to prove your case with your fists. Over time, you will be able to constantly express anger and resentment in words, and your behavior will become a habit.

The second method is simpler and does not require special effort. Intense sports - boxing, wrestling, football - will allow you to direct energy in a direction that is safe for your spouse. Having taken out his aggression on his opponent, the punching bag, a satisfied man will return home. There will be no thoughts left to prove superiority with fists.

Helpful advice! It is important for the spouse to avoid conflicts, even if there is dissatisfaction with the late return. A quarrel can become a drop that provokes new violence, despite the man’s fatigue.

If a husband raises his hand against his wife, the psychologist’s advice will be useful and will help avoid provoking difficult situations. A specialist who, over the years of practice, has helped change his worldview and his life is Nikita Valerievich Baturin. Recommendations and experience of a psychologist-hypnologist are successfully used in practice by women, change the behavior of spouses, return past relationships. How possible is it to save the family if the husband hits his wife, what to do - the advice of psychologist Nikita Valerievich will provide invaluable help.

What to do, what to do if a husband beats his wife, advice from a psychologist:

• give up searching for a man’s aggression - only with the help of a specialist will it be possible to determine the provoking factor;
• It is not recommended to correct character flaws or fight violence on your own - together with a psychologist you will be able to choose effective method resist aggression;
• adhere to the line of behavior developed together with a specialist, do not engage in amateur activities - if a man hits a woman, psychology will help you choose the right path;
• make sure a man wants to change family relationships for the better - if the spouse does not see anything wrong with attacks of aggression, it will not be possible to correct the husband;
• avoid conflicts - leave your spouse alone for a few hours, go shopping, visit your parents;
• do not respond to violence with violence - joint fights will end sadly.

It happens that a woman gets lost if her husband hits her, the psychologist’s advice turns out to be useless - the recommendations are forgotten and are not put into practice. It is important not to limit yourself to one visit to a specialist - in one or two sessions, says Nikita Valerievich Baturin, it will not be possible to develop an effective line of behavior.

Psychology has precise answers to the question of why a man beats a woman, but without consulting a specialist, there is no need to hope for a resumption of the relationship. Attacks of aggression on the part of a spouse are caused by factors that are difficult for a woman to determine on her own. Violence is stopped by eliminating the cause, otherwise the only way to avoid beatings is a complete severance of relations.

Domestic violence is a fairly common problem, which, unfortunately, is usually ignored. Nevertheless, situations where men beat women cannot be ignored. Why is this happening? What is the possible way out of such situations?

Family traditions"

The reason why men beat women should be looked for in childhood. It’s not for nothing that they say that everything comes from the family. Most men prone to assault witnessed this pattern of behavior in childhood. Perhaps the man’s mother received beatings for a tasteless dinner, dust on the nightstand, or long gatherings with friends. It is possible that the “aggressor” himself suffered in childhood.

Bias towards women

Unfortunately, large quantity men have a prejudiced attitude towards opposite sex(which may be due to the characteristics of upbringing or the influence of friends). They consider women second-class citizens who are called upon to remain silent and serve men. Naturally, when a woman shows some kind of activity or begins to defend her rights, this is perceived with hostility.

Complexity and lack of self-confidence

It is important for representatives of the stronger sex to demonstrate their authority, wealth and power - this is male psychology. Why does a man hit a woman? Perhaps he has no other ways of expressing himself. If he is plagued by failures at work, and his friends do not take him seriously and often laugh at him, this can become the reason for his complexes and the accumulation of internal aggression. He takes it out on a woman who is physically weaker and cannot fight back.

Offense against a woman

There are a lot of psychologists' opinions about why men beat women. In particular, there is a version that representatives of the stronger sex blame their companions for some failures in life and thus take out their grievances. For example, a friend became pregnant, the guy had to get married, which entailed some consequences. Perhaps this prevented him from getting his dream profession, perhaps he had to give up true love, Maybe, early marriage destroyed his dreams of traveling and so on. This resentment lives in the head and periodically makes itself felt in the form of attacks of aggression.

Alcohol and drug abuse

The state of alcohol and drug intoxication is one of the main reasons domestic violence. What do psychologists think about this? Why does a man hit a woman when he drinks? It is difficult to give a specific answer, because alcohol affects it. It is almost impossible to determine what exactly is going on in his head at that moment. But most psychologists agree that in a state of intoxication a person becomes liberated and releases all the negative feelings that he had previously suppressed. It’s not for nothing that they say: “What’s on a sober man’s mind is on a drunk man’s tongue.” Well, or on a fist.

Problems in society

A lot of interesting information provides family psychology. Why does a man hit a woman? The opinion of psychologists forces us to pay attention to the social sphere. Perhaps the man has conflicts at work or disagreements with friends. But for some reason he does not want (or cannot) conflict with the offender. As a result, he brings all the aggression home and takes it out on his wife.

Star influence

Questions like “Why does the Snake man beat the Horse woman?” or “What are the reasons for domestic violence in Aquarius?” seem ridiculous. However, knowing the characteristics of the zodiac signs, you can to some extent predict what kind of situation may cause assault. Here are the main factors of aggression for different zodiac signs:

• Aries. This is one of the most hot-tempered characters in the zodiac circle. These people are especially aggressive when forced to do something they don't want to do. Aries also cannot stand moral pressure.
• Calf. This is a very friendly sign, whose representatives are not so easy to piss off. But if this happens, be prepared for a stormy stream of aggression. The main reasons why a Taurus man beats a woman is humiliation and betrayal.
• Twins. Behavior is difficult to predict. A calm person can flare up in a minute. The reason is an attempt to teach and command.
• Cancer. A very soft and affectionate person. He begins to get angry if close people ignore him, pay little attention, and skimp on expressions of love.
• A lion. Loses his temper with or without reason. Any little thing can cause a scandal; it is difficult to predict and anticipate an outbreak of aggression.
• Virgo. Patient and loving person who can hold negative emotions inside for a long time. The cause of aggression can be accumulated resentment about a situation that occurred in the past.
• Scales. A peace-loving sign that does not tolerate conflicts and tries to avoid them. Outbursts of anger arise from many irritating nuances that accumulate over a period of time.
• Scorpion. An unbalanced person who gets angry himself and wreaks havoc around him. After an irritating situation, he does not react immediately, but carefully plans the course of the conflict.
• Sagittarius. A quick-tempered person who can get angry at the most unexpected reasons. A careless statement that contradicts a person’s views can make him angry.
• Capricorn. Quite calm and flexible, but very strict and demanding person. Lack of discipline and irresponsibility can make him angry.
• Aquarius. A relaxed and peaceful sign. A meaningless argument “for the sake of argument” can drive him crazy.
• Fish. A melancholic and peace-loving person, who, however, is prone to extremes. He doesn’t like to sort things out, but he can lose his temper from offensive injustice.

Women's mistakes that lead to beatings

There is no justifiable reason why men hit women. However, women sometimes make mistakes that can directly or indirectly provoke this situation. Here are the main points:

• Lack of self-respect and worship of men. Sometimes such situations are observed in unequal marriages(when the man is rich and influential), as well as in the case when a woman is terrified of being left alone. As a result, she pleases the gentleman in every possible way, turning a blind eye to all his misdeeds. A man begins to feel power over a woman, which first leads to moral and then physical violence.
• on a man. Women with a strong authoritarian character tend to subjugate those around them to their will. Constant psychological pressure can cause an outbreak of aggression in a man, which can lead to assault.
• The role of the victim. Some women sincerely believe that they deserve everything that happens to them. In particular, they endure beatings, considering them a punishment from the Universe for some misdeeds. And if a man is a tyrant by nature, a passive reaction on the part of a woman will provoke him even more.
• Waiting for compensation. Surprisingly, some women endure beatings because they enjoy the reconciliation phase. They consider apologies and passionate confessions, a passionate night of love, and expensive gifts to be worthy compensation.

What to do?

If you are faced with beatings, the main thing is not to remain silent and not to endure. You can do the following:

• Talk to family psychologist. If the beating was one-time in nature, perhaps a specialist will help save the marriage.
• Move away from the offender. Leave home to stay with parents, friends, neighbors, or a hotel. Don't be left alone with the aggressor.
• Enlist the support of your loved ones. Your spouse should know that you have protection in the form of friends and relatives.
• Use the helpline. Experts will tell you how to act for women who find themselves without support.
• Contact the police. The man must be punished for assault.

To forgive or not to forgive?

Whatever the answer to the question of why a man beats the woman he loves, the attitude towards such behavior should be extremely negative. But strangely enough, many women who experience domestic violence forgive domestic tyrant, continue life together and suffer periodic attacks. There may be several reasons for this phenomenon:

• "He hits - it means he loves." Some women justify their husband's aggression precisely because of this folk wisdom.
• Material dependence. If a woman does not have her own home or source of funds, she may prefer to endure beatings than to go “on her own.”
• Waiting for change. Many women believe that they will be able to re-educate their spouses.
• A pity. Some ladies think that a man will be lost without them, and continue to sacrifice themselves.

What do psychologists say about this? If the beatings are of a regular, repeating nature, there can be no talk of any forgiveness or hope for change. This is an already established habit, lifestyle, or even mental illness. A woman should think about her safety.

If the assault was one-time in nature, it is worth analyzing the situation. What was the reason? Perhaps you drove a man to white heat with your words or actions? If there were no provocations on your part, this is already an alarm bell. Don't wait for the man to hit you again.

How to recognize a potential bully

You can talk a lot about why men beat women, but it’s better never to deal with this, because the consequences can be the most dire, even fatal. Therefore, still on initial stage relationship, you need to take a close look at the man. A potential fighter can be recognized by the following signs:

• Constant dissatisfaction. If a man is constantly irritated by the world around him (passers-by, the weather, the color of tablecloths in a restaurant, and so on), sooner or later his irritation may spread to you.
• Physical impact. In the early stages of a relationship, men rarely dare to hit a woman. But other methods of physical influence may take place. In a fit of aggression, he can squeeze your hand painfully, push you, or rudely drag you along with him. All these are alarm bells.
• Obsessive jealousy. If a gentleman openly controls you, demonstrates distrust and makes a tragedy out of any of your contacts with the opposite sex, this can later develop into attacks of aggression.
• The desire for dominance. Powerful men are often prone to aggression. If a gentleman tries to command you, or may raise his voice in private or in public, this should alert you.
• Threats. If, in a fit of anger, a man threatens you with physical harm and may even take a swing at you, it is possible that sooner or later he will carry out his threats. Also on early stage relationship, it’s worth thinking about why a man hits a woman on the butt. Is this a manifestation of flirtation and passion or hidden aggression?
• Alcohol abuse. A drunk person is unpredictable. Especially if he drinks alcohol with enviable consistency.