Is it worth starting a relationship with? married man?
What consequences can a woman have as a result of a relationship with an unfree lover?
Let's analyze!
Unfortunately, in Russia and throughout the post-Soviet space there are significantly fewer men, especially after the age of 35, and this fact is known to the whole world. Women suffer from a lack of choice of a soul mate, so they often fall into the tempting hook of intimate relationships with married men.
Most of them hope to truly make their married lover fall in love with them. Whatever means are used for this: love spells, skillful intimate techniques, delicious lunches! A desired result no: the object of passion does not get divorced, despite all Herculean efforts.
As you know, men have 10 times more testosterone in their blood, so seeking adventure on the side is not something unusual for them. The wife often does not give her life partner the full range of emotions and intimate pleasures, which is the reason for cheating. And living together in cramped apartments does not contribute to the preservation , do you agree? And the desire to once again plunge into the abyss of passion brings a man into the arms of his mistress, who is ready to do anything for affection and attention.
A woman gets used to intimacy with a man very quickly. Here, the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for attachment, plays a fatal role. There is much more of it in the blood of women compared to representatives of the stronger sex. It is given by nature itself to maintain a home and raise offspring. A man’s behavior is controlled by another hormone - testosterone, which supports the desire to protect one’s own territory and conquer new heights.
It follows from this that, even if you are in a relationship with your mistress for a long time, married man doesn't get attached to her as much as she does to him. For him, separation in most cases is not a big problem. This is precisely the tragedy of a woman who has given uprelationship with a married man.
She counts the minutes until the meeting, passionately desires hugs, touches, kisses. All her thoughts are concentrated on the object of love. Alas, nature has decreed that relationships are more important for the fair half of humanity than for men.
While tensely awaiting her lover’s divorce, the woman believes all his promises:
“I’ll get a divorce when the child finishes school,”
“we will definitely be together, wait a little”
"not now right moment for divorce."
There can be thousands of reasons and excuses: here the imagination of married men knows no bounds. Unlike women, they are more self-centered and not prone to self-sacrifice. Therefore, it is useless to put pressure on pity and call for conscience! If a man with his wife and a new marriage with his mistress, he will endlessly play for time in the hope of prolonging intimate pleasures on the side.
What does a relationship with a married man promise for a mistress?
Losing precious time
Nerves worn out by constant anticipation
Feeling second-class
Public condemnation
In addition, which at first seemed enchanting, intimate relationships are starting to fade away little by little, and the mistress quickly turns into a free psychologist, to whom the man periodically expresses complaints about his parents, children, wife and boss.
The moral side of the issue plays an important role. In the post-Soviet space, the attitude towards a woman who has a relationship with a married man is, to put it mildly, unkind. Sideways glances, gossip, discussions and whispers essentially boil down to condemnation of the mistress as a destroyer of the family.
Another important point: what more woman is carried away by her lover, the more difficult it is for her later . So before you get into a relationship with a married man, ask yourself:
Why is such a connection needed?
Are there real prospects for marriage within a year?
Will I be able to easily leave the relationship if it fails?
Will I get another mental trauma instead of pleasure?
Alas, in most cases, the mistress does not think about the consequences and rushes into the abyss of passion, hoping that she is much better than all the other women in the world and the man will easily leave his family for her. This is a big misconception. Be realistic. Search free man, initially tuned to building a family. For him, you will be a queen!
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Love is a sensitive and confusing feeling. Much more difficulties arise when a woman starts a relationship with a married man. How to act correctly in such a situation? We have prepared best tips and recommendations from psychologists who will help a woman form the correct position regarding the existing romance.
A happy married man will most likely not date other people's women. But it often happens that certain difficulties in family life push representatives of the stronger sex to cheat on their wives. According to statistics, 50% of married men are looking for an affair on the side and in most cases start long-term relationships. More often, the reason for such male actions is the following circumstances:
- “Everyday life” in the family and dissatisfaction with marriage.
- Lack of loving feelings for his wife and formed antipathy.
- Insufficient attention from the spouse.
- Temporary relationship crisis.
- Thirst for adventure and desire for self-affirmation.
- Sexual desire as a manifestation of animal instincts, etc.
When the interests of a woman and a man who is currently married coincide, they begin to build a relationship. Naturally, such connections are not made public. Sometimes such cases are considered a myth, although, in truth, this is a widespread phenomenon.
Relationships with a married man have both disadvantages and advantages. The big, but perhaps the only drawback is his marriage, which can no longer be called full-fledged, but creates certain inconveniences. Relationships will have to be kept secret and in most cases they have no prospects for development.
A married man, breaking out to meet a strange woman, accomplishes a kind of feat, which is definitely a positive fact. He is more interested in someone else's woman than in his wife. Such relationships are not ordinary; meetings with a mistress are interesting, because communication with her is devoid of “everyday life.” Men are usually generous to their secret lovers, pamper them with gifts and often arrange surprises.
Whether it is worth starting such a relationship, the woman decides for herself, after weighing all the pros and cons. The affair will be an unusual and interesting experience for the lady, but you always need to look into the long term and think about the future. There must be a significant preponderance towards feelings and positive aspects such relationships, because someone else’s already created marriage comes under attack, and, perhaps, human destiny will change.
How to say love to a married man
Declaration of love is one of the most difficult steps for a woman in a relationship with a married man. And it is not necessary to do this act first; many expect frankness from their loved one, and then respond in kind. This type of development is the simplest, but recognition from a man will have to wait.
There is no need to rush things, but if a woman is completely confident in her feelings, she should open up first. The act marks the beginning of a new psychological stage in the relationship and will allow the man to begin to act differently, perhaps reconsider his opinion about the affair, leave the family, etc. If the beloved does not confess in response, this does not mean that he does not love. Perhaps he was surprised by what was happening and needs time to think about it.
Declaration of love is one of the most difficult steps for a woman in a relationship with a married man.
Important correct selection time and situation. An ordinary walk will do, while having dinner in a restaurant, while dancing, etc. But you should not do this at a time when the man is busy and distracted by something (minor home repairs, watching sporting events, etc.). It is better to choose a calm environment.
You can come up with a beautiful and long confession, write a letter or message, but just a phrase of three words is enough: “I love you.” Psychologists recommend giving up phones, the Internet, or expressing feelings on paper. It is better to do this in person so that you can observe the man and understand his reaction. But the main thing is to tune in and stop being afraid; you shouldn’t be ashamed of having sincere feelings.
How to behave with a married lover if you want to develop your relationship
Despite the romance of such relationships, an integral component of the union of a woman and a married man is intimacy. A lady always needs to look attractive and sexy, behave as openly as possible, and forget about the phrase “I don’t want to.” There is no need for a man to get used to clothes, makeup and hairstyle; every time you need to try to please him with something new - this will help to take him away from his wife much faster and build a new union. He is already tired of everyday life, he wants freshness and new sensations. You need to act carefully so as not to scare a man with a lustful look.
A woman must maintain a certain boundary of communication and create intrigue. Then the man himself will want to further develop the relationship.
Building relationships based solely on sex is also not entirely correct. Men look for understanding in women and do not miss the opportunity to speak out about their annoying spouse, angry boss at work, etc. A woman should listen to this and, perhaps, try to help verbally with practical advice. You need to try to share his interests and, if possible, support him, which will help establish and maintain the desired relationship.
Under any circumstances, a woman must maintain a certain boundary of communication and defend her position. It is impossible for a man to relax and let everything take its course. A woman should have personal space, creating intrigue. Then the man himself will want to further develop the relationship.
Relationship between a married man and a married woman
When she is married and he is married, the psychology of the relationship already has a deeper meaning - the interests and reasons that prompt the connection coincide. Married lovers feel good together, they have mutual understanding. Both have marriages with their own domestic differences, and such relationships greatly help to distract themselves.
But no matter how strong the love between a married mistress and a married man, such a romance has a low probability of further development. According to statistics, only 1% of couples decide to break up their marriage and create new family. This is explained by the lack of willingness of lovers to change their usual lifestyle. Even if a woman decides to take such a step, there is no guarantee that a man will do the same.
Love affair at work
How more people are nearby, the better they recognize and understand their colleagues. And often harmless flirting between married colleagues develops into serious feelings. Outcomes office romance are different, sometimes they end in education happy family, and sometimes turn into conflicts. Romance with married boss may result in dismissal from work or difficulties in career growth.
In order to avoid getting into an unpleasant situation, a woman must decide from the very beginning the purpose of the relationship and follow through to the end. The man’s reciprocity will have a significant contribution to the decision-making. You can navigate this by his actions or by arranging straight Talk, see how he will behave.
The outcomes of an office romance can be different, sometimes they end in the formation of a happy family, and sometimes they turn into conflicts.
Unrequited love for a married man
Unrequited love does not bode well and will cause a lot of trouble. A man can use a woman to satisfy his sexual needs. Understanding this fact is difficult for a woman in love to bear.
In the future, there are two options for the development of such a connection: to suffer further and hope that he will fall in love, or to break off the relationship. You need to make every effort so that a man begins to appreciate all the efforts and subsequently falls in love with his mistress. But in most cases this does not happen, and the romance is platonic in nature. Psychologists recommend breaking such ties and not jeopardizing the existence of the family.
Consequences
A woman should think about her own family, but it is difficult to build a serious long-term relationship with a married man. Even if he leaves his wife, there is no guarantee that he will not return to her soon. It is difficult for any person to radically change their usual life.
A serious consequence of the relationship can be the conception of a child. It is difficult to predict what a man will do. Many people immediately end the relationship with their mistress, allowing her to resolve the issue on her own. Sometimes men are convinced to have an abortion or allow the birth and promise to support the child, which is doubtful. If notified legal spouse, this will likely lead to divorce.
A relationship with a married man can be called a test; it brings with it strong feelings and fears, and sometimes leads women to nervous breakdowns. In most cases, the relationship is built on a man’s lies and promises. beautiful life– a lady should be vigilant and not allow herself to be manipulated. The novel ultimately takes away the most valuable thing - time, which free woman It’s better to spend it on finding something more worthy.
Women, unlike men, are less endowed with such a feeling as solidarity. You need to think not only about yourself. By developing a relationship with a married man, a woman destroys someone else’s marriage - this is the most serious consequence of an affair.
How to break
Having realized the need to end the relationship, you need to move from thoughts to actions. It is recommended to carry out serious conversation with a man to clearly express your intentions to leave the relationship and put the finishing touches on it. In the future, you need to break off any contact, refuse meetings, ignore phone calls, delete from social networks etc.
Photos, gifts or other things - anything that reminds you of your former relationship - must be destroyed. This will help a woman quickly stop thinking about the past. But you should not return things in person, this will cause a lot of emotions, the woman must show ruthlessness, the right thing to do is tear everything up and throw it away.
New acquaintances will help a woman get away from a relationship faster and cope with the undiminished feeling of love. Prolonged suffering is not productive. If a woman is tired of affairs, hobbies will help her forget:
- Trips.
- Immersion in work.
- Hobby.
- Meetings with loved ones.
- Volunteering, etc.
Relationships with a married man rarely end in success. A woman must be aware of this fact. Almost every lady believes that her case is an exception. A woman must learn to accept reality, then her personal life will improve and a more worthy person will certainly be found.
Meeting someone you like can be much more difficult than just getting married, but everyone wants happiness. How difficult it can be to resist temptation when all attempts to arrange your personal life fail, and suddenly he appears in your life - attentive, caring, corresponding to your idea of the ideal man, but unfortunately, no longer alone. The reciprocity of feelings covers a wave, and at this moment the phrase “You can’t build your happiness on someone else’s misfortune” seems to need adjustment. There is some truth in this, and indeed not everyone is happy in marriage, but now we will not dwell on the moral aspects. It is much more important to find out the true intentions of your new lover and find out what consequences a relationship with a married man can lead to.
Decide on your own desires
Honestly answer yourself the question of what exactly you expect from this relationship. Perhaps you are just tired of loneliness and want new emotions. If this is the case, do not idealize your partner and do not rush things, so as not to later regret what happened and not suffer from feelings of guilt.
If you have a clearer goal and you intend to connect your life with this particular person, you need to get to know him better. A relationship with a married man looks attractive during the dating period, but everything can radically change when he wife will leave to you. Even if he has not yet made any concrete proposals, for a moment imagine him in the role of your husband and ask yourself next questions:
- Why does he need a family? Some people get married, dreaming of the comfort and company of the woman they love, and there are those who perceive their wife as a set of functions from an everyday point of view. If you are dealing with the second option, then high feelings and attractive appearance are not in the first place for him, and marriage with such a person is unlikely to make you happy;
- Can he be called a responsible person? If he was disappointed in his wife almost immediately after the wedding, he was clearly not ready to start a family, but nevertheless, he decided to take this step. If he is planning a future together with you, but there are already children in his marriage, a good sign for you will be his willingness to support them financially and not lose touch with them. In this case, you will at least know that if a common child is born, you can hope for him;
- How do you see life together? This question is the most difficult because the information you have is based largely on his words. A person who likes to drink will not come to a date with his mistress drunk, but domestic tyrant will not show character, because he cannot have any domestic complaints against you. A man who is financially dependent on his wife will find a way to appear successful in your eyes, so trust not external impressions, but specific facts. Be attentive even to the little things and don’t look for excuses for his actions.
Evaluate his behavior
There may be absolutely nothing behind the ardent declarations of love and promises to leave the family. A relationship with a married man sometimes drags on for long years, and your desire to legitimize your status in his life may remain unfulfilled. Your relationship cannot be called promising if he behaves like this:
- Talks bad about his wife. A sane person should understand that, first of all, he is not criticizing his spouse, but his own choice, and if you become his next choice, approximately the same fate awaits you. Even if on his part the most serious intentions, such behavior indicates his dishonesty;
- Walks away from the conversation. All your attempts to figure out how long to wait for him to take a responsible step lead to the fact that in response you hear the words that you want to hear, but they are not followed by specific actions;
- Time is stalling. For a long time, you hear from him that he will definitely leave his wife for you, but now is not the most opportune moment. Typical excuses include financial difficulties, the desire to mentally prepare the spouse for a breakup, and even fictitious illnesses of household members;
- He cares about his reputation in the eyes of his wife. If he carefully hides your relationship and is worried about unnecessary questions from his wife, it means that he is not going to leave the family.
This behavior is characteristic of the majority, but still not all. There are also men whose wives turn a blind eye to their temporary hobbies and understand that he still will not dare to leave the family. There is no talk of high feelings in such marriages, but material dependence on a spouse, or the usual desire to be married woman, develops not only patience, but also pushes wives to such feats, after which the mistress herself will be glad to break off ties with a married man, forgetting that she fell madly in love.
How to behave
Of course, ideally you want the initiative to life together came from the man, but if he hesitates to make a decision, the reasons may be as follows:
- He does not intend to leave the family. No matter what actions you take, this man will not voluntarily separate from his wife. If you find a way to destroy his marriage, then he will be next to you out of despair, and is unlikely to be grateful to you for your initiative;
- He lacks strength of character. Such a man will end up with the woman who is more interested in him, and if she turns out to be you, then you won’t have to count on a strong man’s shoulder.
Most effective method to get at least some certainty is to put him before a choice, refusing to meet as a mistress. It’s not a fact that your loved one’s decision will make you happy, but at least you won’t waste any more time next to someone who has no further plans for you.
What not to do
In a desperate struggle for their happiness, many girls are prone to committing rash acts, which only further complicate the situation. The point here is not even about decency, but about the fact that first of all they harm themselves.
Common mistakes:
- Blackmail. His wife is unlikely to know about your relationship with a married man, and if you threaten to tell her everything yourself, this will certainly cause a negative reaction on his part;
- Conversation with his wife. This option will not bring you luck no matter what happens. If he was going to talk to her himself, then your initiative will make him very angry. If he had no such intentions, but you still decide to do it, you will not be able to predict in advance the reaction of another woman to your appearance. Having learned about the existence of a mistress, a jealous woman may decide to divorce, but it is not a fact that after breaking up with his wife, his beloved will want to continue the relationship with you. It may also be that her husband’s betrayal will not come as a surprise to her and she will make every attempt to save the family;
- Pregnancy. Pregnancy from a relationship with a married man does not give you any guarantee that the child will have a caring father. No man will like that they are trying to manipulate him, and it is likely that after such news he will disappear from your life forever.
In conclusion
If you agree to wait patiently for his voluntary decision to leave his wife for you, make claims to your loved one about what you spent on him best years your life has no meaning - no one forced you to do anything. The same applies to women, married lover whom he later became their husband, but did not live up to expectations. Responsibility for our actions falls solely on our shoulders, and it is important to understand this from the very beginning.
Today I want to look at the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman from a slightly different perspective. She is free and beautiful. He is interesting, successful, but MARRIED.
A similar alliance occurs in modern world quite often, because it has ceased to be something forbidden and condemned by society. Previously, loving a married man was considered a disaster and a shame for a woman. Today this is quite acceptable.
Do you want to know why married men are willing to “get in touch”? Do you want to understand why they don’t leave their family? And how to behave with a married man?
Then let's figure out WHAT is a relationship with a married man and WHERE does it lead?
Danger! Keep out
Doesn't it seem strange to you that such a warning only works on a transformer? Because it will really kill!
Everything else that does not kill immediately is questioned, since between the action and the result lies PLEASURE.
What pushes a man to have an affair?
- novelty of sexual and emotional sensations
- sexual dissatisfaction, fear of fading youth (you have to do everything in time), the desire to prove to yourself and friends that he is still WOW
- the need to establish a solid status, modern man who can afford to keep a gorgeous girlfriend
- not too high moral principles, in other words, if a man is a womanizer
- lack of understanding from the wife,
A man is looking for an outlet, a holiday, new sensations that charge him with energy, stroke his pride, and allow him to feel confident and satisfied.
Moreover, a NORMAL man, and many women choose an affair with a married man, not considering him an unprincipled scoundrel. He realizes that he is betraying his wife - a woman to whom he owes a lot. What does it mean?
At home, he tries to justify himself in his own eyes, to atone for his guilt. He becomes more attentive to his wife's wishes. Tries to be more tender and new in bed, putting into practice the tricks of a mistress.
The mistress, without wanting it herself, STRENGTHENS the marriage of her lover.
Why does a woman need a relationship with a married man?
For a woman, a relationship with a married man, no matter how strange it may sound, is also very, very attractive. Here you can highlight sound arguments and misconceptions.
Sound arguments - a woman knows what she wants:
A woman receives a man “ready to eat”, he is well-fed, well-groomed, already successful - this is the psychology of a mistress.
-You don’t need to shoulder a seemingly monotonous life - preparing breakfasts, lunches, dinners, washing dishes, cleaning, washing, ironing...
-A man is perceived as a gift in a holiday wrapper, while the wife deals with a person without a wrapper.
-A woman doesn’t want to get married today and now, but she doesn’t smile at being alone either. Therefore, dating a married man is an ideal option for open relationship. No one owes nothing to nobody.
-A wealthy man is able to correct, and sometimes very noticeably, financial situation mistresses.
-Unconfident women with low self-esteem explain their actions by saying that there are not enough good men for everyone; they are ready to be content with a piece of the pie.
Misconceptions:
The woman is confident in her exclusivity. She sincerely believes that EVERYTHING will be different with her, not as hundreds of former lovers say in their memoirs.
- Naively believes in a man’s promises to leave his family... LATER.
- She is afraid to be alone, so she is ready to remain on the sidelines.
Each person has his own arguments. Each of them has the right to life. Everyone is free to make their own decisions, make their own mistakes, because they only learn from their own mistakes.
If there is no taboo on having a relationship with a married man, most women, having experienced the charms of someone else’s husband, will succumb and risk experiencing the taste of the forbidden fruit for themselves.
I will not moralize about why a relationship with a married man has no right to exist.
Relationship with a married man
I want to reveal to you TWO patterns, which, like any law, operate independently of our consciousness.
1. A man leaves not where it is BETTER, but where it is UNBEARABLE. The mistress has absolutely NOTHING TO DO with this.
If family relationships have burned out, the marriage turned out to be a mistake (this sometimes happens), it will fall apart regardless of whether the man has a mistress or not. If this didn't happen, no spell would do it.
2. Over time, needs INCREASE.
No matter how good it is today, tomorrow you will want more... . A man will not be able to satisfy this need. Why? Read the first law.
Now let's strike a balance.
A woman invests in a relationship:
- soul and body
— time is the most valuable and irreplaceable resource
- the future, pushing it back indefinitely
Receives:
– attention and care – a teaspoon per day/week/month (select the one you need)
- a small part of material wealth, while the husband would bring all the income to the house
- unsettled personal life
- uncertainty about the future
But these weapons must be used. Use it SKILLFULLY and CONSTANTLY. To use = to be like this. Amen:).
Thank you for your attention.
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If it used to be considered a shameful vice for a woman to date a “married man,” now it is somewhat depressingly ubiquitous. The psychology of relationships with a married man is no longer surprising to anyone. Although it would seem natural that this is wrong and bad. What to do and how to act in a situation where, as in the song “I love a married man”?
Psychology - the “Why” aspect
So why are women constantly drawn to the seemingly forbidden? They are not blind, not stupid, and are often fully aware of what they are doing. As well as the consequences. But all the same, as if into a pool, they rush headlong into dangerous, dubious relationships.
We can start with the fact that, of course, how many people there are, so many different opinions. Each woman had her own reason for starting such a relationship and each of them answered the question - Is it worth it? - differently. And, nevertheless, there is a specific number of reasons:
- Everything is ready. A married man is, as a rule, already an accomplished person. Both in the family, in society and in career.
- Freedom. You don’t need to wait for him to come home in the evening, cook his food, wash his clothes, or somehow keep track of your actions. Another woman is already doing all this. The mistress has much more free time, which she can spend on herself.
- Celebration atmosphere. If the wife sees a man in all his remarkable and not so beautiful, then the woman on the side is familiar only with his positive qualities.
- Money. Comments here will be unnecessary.
- Reluctance to get married. Sometimes a situation happens when you want love, but getting married is quite the opposite. Then the point about freedom and easy relationships results in this one. A married man will not demand any special obligations from his mistress.
- Low self-esteem. Thoughts about what good men There are catastrophically few people around and the fear of loneliness sometimes pushes women to do other things. Therefore, they are content with “what is”.
- Hopes. Love is evil... or, to use the proverb: without fish, there’s cancer – fish. Especially if this “cancer” every now and then promises to leave his family for her, beloved and unique. And the woman believes these words. And this belief in her exclusivity, that everything will be different for her than everyone else, forces her to remain in such relationships. But life is not a film with a lyrical ending or a love book. In reality, such promises often remain empty promises.
Relationship with a married man
What to do if a woman nevertheless decides to start a relationship with a “married man”? The psychologist’s advice on this matter is based on the basic principle: you need to be realistic. That is, ready for the fact that such love can suddenly end at any moment. And you certainly can’t gossip about such a relationship with your friend.
The main plus and at the same time minus is that no one owes anything to each other. It is not difficult to sleep with a married man whom you love, but it will not be easy for a woman to start dating him and, moreover, to keep him close to her and make some plans. Under no circumstances should meetings be advertised, otherwise this will immediately undermine trust. You shouldn’t put pressure on a man with your connection either - he understands perfectly well that he has no obligations to you. He already has a family with a wife and children. If he needs a relationship on the side, he can always find himself another, less demanding passion. Therefore, if the goal is to win the heart of this particular man, you will have to work hard, measuredly and carefully, making him fall in love with you and everything that will be associated with her.
But it’s still far from a fact that a man will leave his family for his mistress. The fact is that a man cannot just pick up and go to where he will be better off. Most likely, if the marriage breaks up, it will not be because of the beloved lady on the side, but because of the great discord in one’s own family. Only if the legitimate relationship did not show itself well or burned out, turning out to be a mistake, then the man will divorce and go to his passionately awaiting mistress. Otherwise, no forces of great love will force him to leave his native nest called “family.”
Exit from the cage
Sooner or later, the realization comes that the man is still not going to leave the house with children and a married woman, but he no longer wants to put up with this. How to end such a relationship?
The advice of psychologists is quite simple: you need to mentally prepare yourself before breaking off a relationship with a married man. Write down all his shortcomings on paper and look at this piece of paper more often. Think about the question: is it really necessary? Most likely from his mistress married man there are no prospects in terms of their own family well-being. And sooner or later, every woman will want to have her own children and a normal family. Then karma will definitely not be on this woman’s side...
How to end a relationship?
Secret meetings and constant secrecy can also adversely affect the general background of life. Especially with a man who is younger than his second chosen one. You need to decisively declare this intention to your married partner, calmly and rationally convey your point of view to him. This relationship does not have the future that you want. You will have to come to terms with the separation and be sure to ask them never to bother you again. This is difficult, but otherwise, instead of a period, a blurry comma will appear in the relationship. Especially if a man tries to dissuade his mistress from such a “hasty decision.” It could be a parting gift in the form of a last date or something similar. But in reality, this is just a trick to avoid ending the relationship.
