The father and mother most often take part in raising a child, and they are given all the laurels. They are the ones who come first, and the grandmother, unfortunately, is often undeservedly given second place.

When both mother and father work in a family, it is physically difficult for them to raise the child fully, take care of his development and everyday needs.

They don’t have enough time to deal with him, then hope appears in the grandmother, of course, if there is no opportunity to send the child to kindergarten or hire a nanny.

A modern grandmother does not look like a decrepit old woman from the outback, and she does not feel like one. Nowadays, people sometimes become grandmothers at a very young age: 37-40 years old.

To become the grandmother that not only your grandchildren, but also their parents (your children) will dream of, you need to adhere to simple rules that we sometimes forget about.

Don't go too far

When your grandchildren spend more time with you, and parents, due to work, are forced to communicate with their children in raids, you should not demonstrate your skills, or boast that you know your grandchildren better.

Comments like: “you dressed him cold”, “don’t excite him before bed” and “you’re not feeding the baby correctly” are something some grandmothers have heard from grandmothers for many years. In such cases, already tense from workdays filled with stress, parents just want to explode and express everything they think about you. It's clear, anyone old man Due to his age and experience, he can give young people a head start in the educational process, and constant contact with grandchildren bears fruit. You have an excellent relationship with your grandchildren, you know them intimately, all their needs and desires. We are all human, so it is understandable that it is difficult for you to suddenly step aside when your parents appear. But smart grandmothers wisely and tactfully cede the role of educator to real parents.

Help according to needs

Constantly trying to help with your help, obsessively helping, is also nothing good, because excessive help is burdensome and annoying. Think about what kind of help your children and grandchildren need. When conflicts arise, it is better to calmly listen to each other. Perhaps your help in accompanying the child to various sections will be enough, and the rest of the functions of raising your grandchildren are entirely within the capabilities of their parents.

Agree on a parenting model

If parents decide to be strict, they should not spoil their grandson. Yes, we don’t argue, sometimes you really want to fulfill the whim of your beloved little one, but disagreements with the opinion of the parents can harm the child. For example, his dad and mom forbid him to eat a lot of sweets, but you, on the contrary, try to treat him to a delicious cake or candy. In such a situation, the grandson, of course, will love you more out of naivety, considering his parents “mean and greedy.”

Develop your child

Very often, due to the same frantic pace of life, our children (parents of their grandson) simply physically cannot afford such luxury as all kinds of children's sections and clubs. Take the initiative by taking upon yourself to “deliver” the child to sections and clubs. You might even like it yourself. For example, one grandmother who went to a dance with her grandson soon. The grandmother and grandson had a sea of ​​new common topics - from discussing the correct execution of the next element of the dance, to thinking through concert costumes.

Becoming a good grandmother is not difficult, using common sense and important rule– you are a grandmother, not a mother, so you cannot take on all the functions associated with the child. This is, at a minimum, unfair to your children, who would also like to enjoy communication with their children in their free moments.

As grandparents, we all want to spend precious time with our family and surrounded by our grandchildren. You can create deep and loving relationship with your grandchildren if you share with them what you love and take an interest in what excites them. If you are a grandparent (even if not related), if you have to sit with your child all day long, or, conversely, you live thousands of kilometers from your grandchildren, you will learn new ways to strengthen family bonds and provide grandchildren with joyful memories and valuable life lessons.

What's so great about being a grandparent?

Being a grandparent is an opportunity to play, to love someone and appreciate the magic of an evolving consciousness, and to be needed again by someone. Grandparents can:

• Sharing with a new audience what they passionately adore.
• See the world in a new way through the eyes of a younger generation.
• Experience games, music, nature, reading and other interests together with a curious young mind.
• Give even more support and encouragement to your grandchildren.
• Use your experience to avoid the pitfalls that parents of their first child may encounter.
• Observe the development of children at all stages of growing up.
• Find out about the interests and musical preferences of your grandchildren.
• Give what parents cannot give.

Typically, grandparents have the advantage of interacting on a level that parents lack due to day-to-day concerns. This makes it easier to develop close bonds with your grandchildren. Whether you are near or far, grandparents bring continuity to children's lives. Grandparents are often the custodians of family history and can enrich the sense of family traditions child. In addition, spending time with grandparents teaches children a positive attitude toward growing up and aging and helps them develop skills that stimulate their own cognition and lifelong learning.

Of course, not everything that concerns the concerns of grandparents is always so wonderful. Becoming a grandparent at a young age, will make some people feel prematurely old and, like parents and grandparents, are sometimes forced to see children as harmful, and teenagers as gloomy and dull. In most cases, however, the benefits of grandparental care outweigh the disadvantages.

The role of grandparents in children's lives

There are as many different roles for grandparents as there are different configurations of families and their needs. In some cases, presence all day is required. In other cases, you visit your grandparents on the weekends, get together for an afternoon game, visit them for the summer, chat on the phone or write by email.

A good first step for long and successful relationship with your grandchildren is to establish some non-applicable rules with your son or daughter:

• Be clear about what role you want to play in your grandchildren's lives.. For example, how often do you want to babysit your child or would you like to take your child to school or otherwise be involved in his school life.
• Talk to your parents about their rules. Consistency is important for children, so be clear about the behavioral boundaries your grandchildren should follow at home and set rules for how your child should behave around you.
• Ensure that any agreements regarding penalties for bad behavior , be it a break in meetings or loss of privileges, for example.
• Home environment for children - the safety of teenagers and infants must be ensured. Many years have already passed since was in your home, so it is important to check with your parents how comfortable and safe the space is for the child.

Common Pitfalls Grandparents Should Avoid

Regardless of the specific circumstances, by expressing love and concern for your grandchildren's safety and well-being, and by demonstrating consistent behavior, you are already doing a good job as a grandparent.

To avoid potential family conflicts, try to avoid the following common pitfalls that grandparents face:

• Trying to become a parent. As much as you might want to tell your children how to raise their grandchildren, that is not your role. Respect the parenting decisions your children make for your grandchildren.
• Shopping for grandchildren. There is a certain temptation for grandparents to shower their grandchildren with gifts, but ask the child's parents before buying toys. It may be better to replace some gifts with activities. Come up with something with your grandson that you both love and will remember for a long time.
• Excessive spoiling of first grandchildren and inability to behave the same way towards other grandchildren. This causes resentment for your own children, who have children later. Remember that whatever you do for your first grandchildren (paying for tuition, going on vacation, going to the zoo) will set a precedent that you will have to repeat for each subsequent grandchild.
• Ignoring boundaries. Grandparents who don't respect boundaries and break them at their grandchildren's every whim infuriate parents. By allowing your grandchildren to misbehave, overindulging them with junk food, or ignoring bedtime, for example, you are only encouraging unhealthy behavior and making parenting more difficult.

Tip 1 on How to Become Great Grandparents: Spend Quality Time with Your Grandchildren

Best performance spending time with grandparents stems naturally from the interests of both themselves and their grandchildren. You create deep, loving relationships with your grandchildren when you share with them what you love and when you are open and available to hear the opinions and activities that excite them.

Relax together

Make an effort to enjoy leisure time with your grandchildren. As a grandparent, you have the opportunity to interact with your grandchildren without the pressure that parents have: you don't have to worry about juggling soccer ball while preparing dinner and shopping trips.

Allow yourself to calm down and become truly involved in the activity. If you move more slowly than usual, it makes your child feel like time has stopped and that there is no need to rush through everything. And as with adults, it gives them the psychological space to feel, think and notice, as well as express their emotions without feeling rushed.

Go outside

Kids love the outdoors, so trips to the park or beach are a great springboard for some amazing adventures and happy memories. Nature walks and day-long hikes will provide plenty of interesting things to talk about, and activities in the water will be especially fun. Throwing pebbles into water or watching the currents carry sticks away are simple activities that greatly fascinate children. You can start all of this when kids are babies and expand the games as they get older.

Share your interests or your work

Involving yourself in hobbies and activities that you love or that your grandchildren love will be a great way to spend time together and learn from each other. Sometimes activities that you wouldn't expect your grandchildren to be interested in (knitting or gardening) can actually be important and create strong bonds between you. Likewise, if you show interest in something they love (trading cards or Harry Potter books), they will share their special area of ​​expertise and open you up to something new. If you continue to work, then visit workplace

will add a whole dimension to your grandson’s perception of you. If you're retired, photos and stories about your work routine will have the same effect.

• How to spend most of your time Make time for one-on-one meetings
• . If possible, spend time with each grandchild separately. This will provide an opportunity to strengthen the bond without competition for time from grandchildren.. Concerts and plays, films, science centers and museums, parks or walks in nearby neighborhoods will provide opportunities to be together and exchange ideas and opinions.
• Play. Board games and card games are a unique opportunity to see your child in action and see how he interacts with the world. The games will also help grandchildren learn to be good athletes and learn the principles of fair play.
• Talk about family history. Tell stories about the games and trips you and your children shared when they were young. This is a great way to weave a tapestry of shared experiences for the whole family.

Tip 2 on How to Become Great Grandparents: Grandparents on the Go

Taking a trip with your grandchildren or sharing stories about your favorite places will create special memories together. Special trips—whether it's a day trip to a major park, spending an entire weekend in a nearby city, or a weeklong getaway during the holidays—are always remembered by a child as a special trip with grandma or grandma.

One of the great benefits of traveling with grandchildren is the opportunity for both of you to be away from home. “Being on the go” means being free from hassles, errands, and the computer—a familiar routine. This opens up a lot of possibilities for the unexpected - even if the trip is perfectly planned. There are opportunities to study train and bus schedules, take a ferry ride, stay in a hotel or eat on the street, or have a picnic. Opportunities present themselves to discover new parts of the world, themselves and their grandchildren. Involve your grandchildren in planning the trip and, of course, check with the child's parents that they agree with the plan. And then hit the road! A post-trip album about the shared experience will be a source of constant delight for everyone in the family.

When grandparents travel with their grandchildren

• Don't take all your grandchildren at once. Most grandparents do best with one grandchild each at a time. If you're part of a couple, this means it's best to only take two grandchildren. If you are alone, it may be better to take just one grandchild or ask friends to help you.
• Look for a destination that offers nannies. If you think you'll need a break or respite from caring for your grandchildren, stay at a hotel or other place that has babysitting facilities or group activities for children.
• Consult with specialists. If you're not sure how best to plan a trip with your grandchildren, there are many professional organizations that offer tours designed specifically for grandparents and their grandchildren.
• Figure out what to do along the way. Even when you're traveling far from home, you'll need to keep your child occupied. Most children enjoy visiting aquariums, science museums, water parks, amusement parks, and special events during the holidays.

Tip 3 on How to Become Great Grandparents: Taking Care of Your Grandchildren Away From Them

A large percentage of grandparents live more than 300 kilometers from their grandchildren. Children's lives change very quickly, so grandparents who live far away sometimes worry about trying to keep up with the latest events in their grandchildren's lives. Often it just requires special effort on communicating with grandchildren and creating the basis for strong long-term relationships.

When your grandchild is a child, infant, or very young, involve parents to keep abreast of the grandchild's development, interests, what he likes to read, or what pictures he likes to look at. When your child is old enough to communicate, whether by phone, email, or even regular mail, start communicating with him directly.

Grandparents in the digital age

Other ways to stay in touch

In addition to the Internet, there are many other ways to help grandparents who are far away.

• Discounted telephone rates for those who are far away or inexpensive calling cards (even international ones), which make it possible to communicate despite the distance. Try calling at regular times when your grandson is not in a rush and has time to chat. When you talk to your grandchildren, make notes about their interests, books they're interested in, or names of dolls—anything you can repeat in the next conversation so they know you listened well.
• Regular mail. Even before your child can read, he will be able to recognize your name on the envelope and will love the feeling of importance that comes with receiving a letter.
• Audio and video recordings. Record yourself reading several of your child's favorite books and send the recording along with the book. Or make a tape of songs you like to listen to when you're together.
• Family stories. Children love to hear stories about their family. If you can't be with your grandchildren to retell family stories first-hand, try to write them down. Add photos or create a book (online or printed). Encourage your grandchildren to add their own memories and photos.

All these little tricks will allow you to learn about your interests and concerns. Whenever possible, however, try to attend the most important events in the lives of grandchildren: graduations, performances, holidays or other important family events.

Tip 4 on How to Become Great Grandparents: Grandparents Who Babysit Grandchildren All Day

Divorce, parental death, parental work, or school worries are just some of the reasons why grandparents have to care for their grandchildren all day or a little each day. Often referred to as “kinship care,” an increasing number of grandparents are taking on the role of parent to their grandchildren, thereby expanding the traditional grandparent-grandchild relationship. Grandparents who take on parental roles are often deprived of leisure time, travel and many other aspects of their independence. Instead, they take responsibility for the day-to-day care of the house, the child's schedule, lunches, homework, and games. In cases where tragedy has forced a grandparent to take on the role of parent, there are many additional stressors that need to be taken seriously.

Raising grandchildren, while challenging, can be overwhelmingly rewarding. Grandparents in this role experience a much greater connection with the world of their grandchildren, including school and leisure activities. They often find themselves going back decades, rejuvenated by the constant companionship of younger people.

They often derive inner satisfaction from providing their grandchildren with security, nurturing, and a structured home environment in which they grow up and feel loved.

Rights of grandparents

In some circumstances it is necessary for grandparents to seek legal support. If there has been a divorce, death of a parent, estrangement, or suspicion of neglect or abuse of grandchildren, consultation with a lawyer or lawyers may be necessary to ensure access to the grandchildren. Two issues arise with the grandparent's role: custody and visitation. In either case, the goal is to ensure that children have contact with family outside the family core.

• Maintain your own health. Get regular checkups and follow your doctor's advice.
• Try to get enough sleep and don't skip meals.
• Walk and exercise at least three times a week for 30 minutes to reduce stress and promote well-being.
• Insist on a regular hour of silence. Children can take a nap or sit quietly in their room.
• Let teenagers listen to music through headphones. Learn to relax during this time.
• Take time for yourself. Look for activities where your grandchildren can spend time away from you. This could be story hour at the local library or a meeting in some circle.
• Do something that gives you pleasure. Engage in at least one hobby or participate in at least one activity on a regular basis.
• Talk about problems with understanding friends or other grandparents. Or join a support group.
• Set boundaries with your grandchildren and stick to them.
• Don't blame yourself. The circumstances of your adult children's lives are not your fault. Focus on the positive and use a sense of humor. Avoid isolation. Make an effort and install
• friendly relations

, even if only by phone for now.
Since you probably haven't been a "parent" in a while, it may be helpful to take a parenting class to learn new techniques to help children develop self-esteem, confidence and responsibility.
So this miracle happened!
I became a grandmother. But this is funny!
Usually a grandmother with venerable gray hair,

The eyes sparkle with unearthly kindness... I'm a grandmother, it's hard to believe. But! I will be
the best grandmother
in the world!
I will learn how to make jam and compote,

And I will relax with my grandson every year,
Well, in winter, write songs about summer.
We will be surprised with him,
The taste of life, gradually comprehending,
And my granddaughters will grow up playing,
And life will become brighter and brighter.

I have become a grandmother now... Olga Melnikova. Hello

have a wonderful morning

And so they took out this little sniffling lump. Vanya take two. All daddy's grimaces. Now, Tanya’s features are already visible, but then - a copy of dad. Of course, at first I came to help, but, to be honest, not often. My daughter did a great job on her own.

My husband kept saying: wait, he’s still little now, but when he grows up, it will be more interesting to be with him. What stupidity! We enjoyed every moment. After all, tomorrow he will no longer be the same as he is today.

Remember, grandmothers, is your attitude towards your grandchildren different from your attitude towards your children? Maybe yes. I was responsible for my daughter as a mother. But because I was young, I probably didn’t feel afraid that I would do something wrong. When Styopa was born, I immediately told my parents that I would spoil him, that’s why I’m a grandmother, and you raise him.

I love it when my grandson comes to visit me, we play, paint, and sculpt from plasticine. Or rather, I sculpt, and he breaks. We play with cars, move pebbles, and misbehave. But I also breathe a sigh of relief when his parents come for him. And so on in a circle.

When Tanya went to work, Styopa was one year and three months old. We all sit in turns. Me, my mom and dad with my uncle. The second grandmother, unfortunately, lives in another city and rarely comes to visit, but Skype will help us. At least this way you can observe the development of your grandson.

And he has already become big and interesting. And you have to follow him with your tail, making sure he doesn’t get into something he shouldn’t. And, probably, only now, when I began to spend more time with him, did I realize that I had become a grandmother. I really didn’t want my grandson to call me that. Better just by name. But the son-in-law firmly stated: “I will teach my son to call you grandmother!” And now you won’t scare me with this. Grandma is such a grandma!!!

Now he is two years old and is a little positive boy. The daughter at his age was terribly serious, but this little insect always beams with a smile. And I started laughing very early. My daughter said that at three months he was already laughing, but I heard it much later. He may burst into laughter. You know, there are people to whom you show the finger and they will laugh.
In the summer at the dacha we sat with our grandson and mother on the terrace, the weather was wonderful. We still didn’t understand the reason for the laughter, but suddenly, looking at the forest, he began to laugh contagiously. We couldn't resist and joined in.

When he was six months old, Tanya’s classmate came to visit them with her seven-month-old daughter. Stepa really liked this girl. I watched a video in which the girls captured the meeting of two little people, without sound (the phone was malfunctioning), even without sound it was clear how happy he was and simply choked with laughter. See for yourself.

R Having a baby, especially in a newlywed family, is a serious test for mom and dad. But there are two important people who seriously influence the course of events - these are new grandmothers. Even if one grandmother actively intervenes in the upbringing process, her help can have double consequences.

The arrival of a newborn always a joyful event for the whole family. And young parents, of course, need help to get used to their new role with the least amount of difficulty. But some adult mothers believe that “children” cannot cope on their own. They authoritarianly determine what and how, and often they try to transfer the young mother into the role of nurse.

It’s even worse if two grandmothers use the appearance of their grandchildren as a reason to compete with each other. And then grandmothers overprotect young parents. They shower them with gifts, advice, and impose their presence. But in this competition, the original noble mission is forgotten - helping one’s children, helping a young woman master motherhood. Instead, the older generation tries to play major roles in the child's life.

Subconsciously, the young grandmother is trying to relive her motherhood once again. Tactile contact with a newborn helps to return oneself to emotional condition already experienced in my youth. Communication with a small child makes it possible to once again feel like a young mother.

But the birth of a child redistributes roles. Young woman, getting used to the role of a mother, tries to grow out of the role of a “child”. The grandmother, using her life experience, begins to conquer leadership positions. This could be an open "power grab", it could also be subtle game using skillful manipulation.

Grandma loves it more! Grandma's child eats better! Grandma knows everything! Grandma's child is not sick!– this is how grandmothers explain their active intervention in a young family.

It’s good if the child doesn’t suffer in this game. That is, the grandmother still approaches health issues wisely, healthy eating and discipline. But if the role of leader in raising a child becomes an end in itself for the grandmother, the child suffers or turns into a moral monster. It all depends on the forms of manifestation of grandmother’s love and care.

Children are excellent intuitives; they very quickly understand the meaning of confrontation between adults and begin to use the situation to their advantage. Already at four or five years old, a child can get his way through blackmail or flattery. It’s even worse if the child begins to speculate on his feelings. "You are bad! I love grandma more!” “Grandma, if you don’t buy it for me... it means you don’t love me!”

At first, the child’s manipulations cause a smile: “Wow! Tough for the weather!” But the years go by, and the child grows up. And over time, his “cute” pranks turn into character traits and qualities, into his life position. Adults must foresee the consequences of their current actions.

How to become an ideal grandmother?

1. Accept yourself as a grandmother. It is grandmothers who are the mothers of a child who also has a child! Remember yourself when you experienced the birth of your baby, how did you feel? What did you need, what did you fear, what did you want? Tell the new mother about this, but explain to her that this is just your experience. It may or may not be useful to her, because all children are different. It is important to show the young mother that you are ready to help her, but at the same time recognize her right to choose and make decisions.
2. In this case, you will not need to impose your opinion. Mommy herself will begin to consult with you.
3. Ideal grandma is a faithful ally of young parents in raising their child. Sometimes it seems that parents are doing their upbringing completely wrong. But this is their child! They decided to bring him into the world, they are responsible for him, they convey to him their vision of the world, they must live their own parental experience And, if you do not agree on something, you must seek a compromise with them. It is necessary to discuss disagreements and present clear arguments.
4. Actions “contrary” to a child lead to confrontation between adults. The child is very uncomfortable in the role of “subject of dispute”, and he suffers in his own way. Or, as stated above, the child joins the game, but uses the situation for his own purposes. He seeks to use adults for his own benefit.
5. Never try to make decisions instead of your parents. The child should know that parents are the “highest authority” for him. Under no circumstances should you discuss parents with your child or give them a negative assessment. Moreover, it is unacceptable to allow a child to do what his parents prohibit, but at the same time say, “grandmother will allow it, but don’t tell your parents.” This behavior is unacceptable because the child receives clear example deceit and cunning. And if these qualities become entrenched in the child, one day the grandmother will find herself deceived and used.
6. Parents always have time. They earn money, but they want to live actively, and this is normal. Therefore, they cannot always listen to the child. They do not always notice their mistakes and mistakes. Ideal grandma can smooth out these contradictions. To do this, it is important to remain neutral. You can explain the behavior of adults to a child by finding the positive side in it. Parents can be explained what may be causing their disagreements with their child. Grandma has more patience and more worldly experience. Therefore, the role of the arbitrator, establishing peace within the walls of the house, best mission, which the grandmother can take upon herself. Learn to be a diplomat!
7. Initially, set yourself the task of becoming a friend of your loved one. little man. See the world through his eyes. Don't try to teach him something, but let him LEARN. Children are endowed with great power. They understand little, but they feel a lot. They find it easily the right decision using your intuition. Therefore, you can learn a lot by observing children. Share his interests, and do not impose yours, this is how you will win more love and the trust of a little person.

I hope these adviсe will help the young grandmothers avoid some mistakes. Some women take the word grandmother with fear. But other grandmothers are proud that they are mistaken for mothers, and correct them - I am a GRANDMOTHER! You can play any role in such a way that others will appreciate your merits. Being a grandmother - a confidant of a new member of your family - is cool, believe me! This is another gift prepared for a woman.

In my opinion, a grandmother is a very special person for a child. It is she who a child comes to if he has a conflict with his parents, she is the one who will always listen and carefully give advice on what to do, she is the one who cooks borscht or bakes pies best of all. The grandmother will definitely save up for her precious grandson for the gift he most wants, and will always find time to tinker with him in the sandbox or read a fairy tale. In general, a grandmother can fill childhood with magic, kindness and hope.

And those families who have just such a grandmother are lucky. She is not trying to replace her mother and is quite happy with her, albeit not the main, but very, very important role. She has no need to fight for her grandchildren, because she knows very well what a huge place she occupies in their hearts. And she understands that it is too late to raise her adult children - she has already done everything she could. Of course, if they ask, he will give advice; if you don’t agree with something, he will first find out all the circumstances.

Ideal grandma? Why not?! After all, she has experience, wisdom and patience behind her, which young parents so often lack.

How to love your grandson. Instructions for grandma.

I saw a mother’s question on Facebook about how the child would not leave his grandmother’s side, and the grandmother accused the mother of being jealous. In short, women are confused. I'm a grandmother myself. It's been a little over three years now. And I love my granddaughter Eva very much, and I’m ready to see her hundreds of times a week.

Trouble with outrages, play hide and seek, build towers, knock down Christmas trees and laugh the way only she can laugh. More often we see each other on Skype, and when I don’t come to see the children for a long time, I am overwhelmed by the obsession that the girl might get out of the habit of me, forget me, and treat me like a stranger. Therefore, the desire to fly in and fill all its space is understandable. BUT!

I understand that my number is number two. Initially and always. Number one is mom and dad. Dot. This has nothing to do with love - I love her as much as my son, as his wife Anechka.

My number two is common sense if I want my kids to be happy.

My number two is a way to avoid stupid competition for Eve's love.

My number two is the understanding that the girl did not come into this world so that I could correct the mistakes in raising my own child and make me happy.

My number two is accepting children’s approaches in raising their own child, and not imposing my “invaluable” experience.

Of course, grandmothers are the most experienced mothers. But they should not forget that this experience will not fall on young mothers and fathers. If they ask, I will answer, show, teach. Are they going their own way? Great! I'll look, ask, and learn. Life has changed a lot. I was taught to feed the child semolina porridge, be sure to serve him bread, not to travel anywhere with him for two years, and to put him to sleep, rocking him to sleep. Eva travels with her parents and falls asleep lying in her crib listening to Anechka’s quiet lullaby or her son reading a fairy tale.

Being number two does not mean eliminating. This only indicates the degree of influence of the grandmother on the baby’s life. I am always ready to be there, but without imposing my decisions regarding the girl’s upbringing, without overshadowing the importance of the parents and understanding that they remain the main educators.

In addition, I understand how IMPORTANT it is to agree on what rules I will not break under any circumstances: how to feed the child, how to talk to him, how to dress him, when to put him to bed, what to punish and reward for. After all, mom and dad spend most of the time with the child. Therefore, there is no need to disturb them. And every adult must consciously accept everything you discuss.

At the same time, I know that everyone needs to be consistent: if mom forbids something, then grandma shouldn’t allow it on the sly. I always remember that children really appreciate my help. I also understand that she cannot harm: there should be peace and tranquility in the family, and normal relations between all of us.

When I see Eva running to meet mom or dad and hanging on them, completely forgetting about me, I quietly rejoice. After all, their love, care, and affection give her a feeling of security, relieve her of irrational fears in the future, form adequate self-esteem and self-confidence, encourage creativity, and program her for success.

It happens that something goes wrong in the family: nervousness between grandmothers and parents, the child reacts inappropriately to one of you, cries when one of you leaves... Sit down and talk. Discuss your approaches. Say what you like and what you will never accept. Agree on the rules of interaction. I'm not discovering America. It's obvious. True, more often people remain silent and move further away from each other.

It seems to me that being a real parent means:

1. Know your child perfectly.
2. Communicate with your child without an intermediary - this includes everything that stands between you and the child: telephone, computer, chewing gum...
3. Have a taste for life - perceive all events only positively.
4. Smile at your child often.
5. Communicate with your baby in a civilized manner.
6. To be a super mom and super dad, a super daughter and a super son, a super grandma and a super grandpa.

Once upon a time, maybe 10 years – 12 years ago, my son expressed the idea that he wanted me to raise his future child.

“I like the way you raised me, I want him to grow up the same way.”

Most likely he forgot about it. But I remember very well and clearly, and I still feel the warmth of such trust. True, this idea remained unrealized: I am a grandmother, and my number is number two. And the opportunity to experience fatherhood and motherhood turned out to be much more exciting and tempting while traveling through the endless expanses of Life...

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