But if you have thought and seriously decided to return everything as it was, no matter what, act decisively and follow all the basic rules. Remember, getting back into a relationship after a breakup is not so easy; you shouldn’t sit back and wait for your ex (or ex) to come to you. So what to do, where to start, in order to achieve a positive outcome in this matter.
First of all, remember your last conversation, because you need to clearly determine which of you was the initiator of the breakup of your relationship. There is no need to harp on the whole quarrel, just remember which of you said the phrase “let’s break up,” because it was this that gave rise to your breakup. If you said these words, then it is easier, but if your partner suggested it, then in this case it will be more difficult to return the relationship.
At the next stage, you must forgive him everything, regardless of what he did before breaking up. Your quarrel should completely burn out, regardless of who was in the wrong. Let each other cool down and don’t rush into another pool to... If you feel that you haven't gotten over it yet, don't create the illusion that he will admit his mistake or give in to you, your reunion may crack and fail again.
And lastly (and most necessary in this case), is the presence of warm feelings for each other. If you feel that he or she does not survive your quarrel, does not try to talk to you, does not follow you with his eyes, does not make casual meetings, then all your attempts at reconciliation and return are doomed to failure or all this will result in a bad farce.
If you yourself are the initiator of the breakup, then returning the relationship is easy. After all, they still love you and value the connection with you, and if this is so, then they will forgive this weakness and write it off as a change of mood. But for this you need to take the first step yourself, sometimes this is very easy to do, you just have to call and ask to come back, or meet and talk. At the meeting, analyze your mistakes and determine what exactly got in your way, but you shouldn’t take everything on yourself or push it onto him. You just have to give a sign that you have decided to return everything.
If the other half was the initiator of the breakup, then it is much more difficult. First you will have to wait for the first step, when your high self-esteem falls and burns out old grudge. In many cases, if your relationship was short-lived, you may not get it. But if you are ready to step over yourself and agree (or “accidentally” provoke) a meeting on your own initiative, then remember, everything must be done very delicately. First of all, set up simple friendly relations, spend some time together (club, concert, trip - all this is quite suitable). Don't rush your horses and remember that now your tactics are half-hints.
Let your other half grow and understand how bad it is without you. If you feel that someone is reaching out to you, then retune to an individual romantic wave and your relationship will find itself at a new stage. If this doesn’t help, then it’s simply not worth returning the relationship; it’s unlikely to survive in the future...
There is a common belief that if a guy and a girl break up, then the relationship can no longer be mended. And this is not far from the truth, but... the desire to resurrect, return former relationship with a girl has crept into your head and you want to start all over again. OK!
So, what needs to be done to translate the words “Come on, goodbye” into the process of developing new and vibrant relationships. Several simple ways.
In fact, it is possible that you live in memories and thus escape reality. Think about whether you need to renew your relationship. What feelings are you experiencing now? Reconsider your former relationship, maybe you should turn the page and life will change...
First you need to answer yourself the questions:
- 1. Who initiated the breakup?
- 2. For what reason should the relationship be renewed:
- a) Are you afraid to be alone?
- b) Are you afraid to build a relationship with a new girl?
- c) Are you bored without her?
- d) Do you have a strong passion for her?
- e) Psychological dependence?
- g) Are you jealous of her?
- H) Do you want to legitimize your relationship with her because you love her?
If you answered yes to most of the questions, then read the following tips, it is possible that your feelings relate to the “Today and forever” situation.
- 1. Learn to speak directly about your feelings.
- 2. Become an active creator of future relationships.
- 3. Work on yourself.
- 4. Cause jealousy.
What to do to get your relationship back with a girl
Each girl needs her own approach, and the reasons for separation may be different. What to do? Should I wait for everything to work itself out or end the relationship forever?
If you feel that you need to put up with it, you need to do something about this desire now! So that there are more achievements and fewer disappointments in your life.
We must admit that the methods described below are general, and you need to choose your own based on your situation.
1. Learn to speak directly about your feelings and ask for another chance.
“Is it really enough to just talk about your feelings to get a girl back,” you ask? No, but this is the first step to achieve clarity between you. The point is that many girls love with their ears, so you need to arrange a meeting, buy flowers that she loves, come up, call her by name, voice your proposal to make peace, apologize for previously made mistakes and talk about your feelings. You will have to put in a lot of effort, perseverance and not make empty promises if you want close relationships to form again.
2. Become an active creator of future relationships.
Perhaps you had a calm and routine relationship, and it is tiring. The essence of this method is to give ex-girlfriend a portion of new, fresh impressions. In short, surprise her! Make a plan for your decisive actions day by day so that it is definitely a surprise.
For example, on Monday - use flower delivery to your home through a courier. On Tuesday, buy her a very desirable gift, place it in beautiful packaging to generate additional interest. On Wednesday, write her a VKontakte message or an original SMS, etc.
A request for forgiveness, in in this case will be an excellent tool for restoring trust, plus everyday surprises will show your interest.
3. Work on yourself, cause jealousy
This method is the exact opposite of the previous ones. Often, when starting a relationship, a guy initially tries to please the girl in everything, makes her a goddess, is jealous, and fulfills all her whims and desires. Forgetting that a woman needs a real strong man who knows what he is striving for, does not whine, does not complain, knows how to show flexibility and is restrained.
So, stop proving something, calling and communicating with her, at least for a while. Get a second job, start going to the gym, try to attract attention to yourself in any way.
This will be a signal that important changes are taking place in your life and you are not worried about breaking up. Jealousy will probably start playing in her. And the main thing here is that she does not get offended and does not see a clear rival, but begins to show interest in you and takes the first step. And now, if she also wants to be with you, then the chances of renewing the relationship are great.
Probably, these few ways will help restore and maintain the same relationship. However, remember - the habit of stability, fear of sudden changes and new disappointments may be drawn to your ex. And the desire to return the girl is nothing more than just nostalgia for a warm relationship, fantasy and obsessive desire. We hope that the article was also interesting to girls.
Parting with a beloved man is a painful process. Many women go through it. Some manage to resume past relationships, but this requires a lot of effort. If you are one of those who love and believe that feelings are stronger than circumstances, then do not despair.
There are certain ways to get a man back after a breakup. Advice from a psychologist will help you understand the intricacies of male nature, bringing the long-awaited reunion with your chosen one closer.
Every breakup is the beginning of a journey to new meeting.
Lian Lua
Reasons for separation
Every couple's relationship is special. For some, what is alien to others is acceptable. We often see situations in life when people break off relationships completely suddenly, abruptly, painlessly. Subsequently, they find happiness in other unions. But in most cases, separation is a difficult stage in life; it must be passed through by drawing certain conclusions.The most common reasons for termination are:
- "Did not get along"– an actual cause of imbalance in a couple. Many people are familiar with the situation: a trifling quarrel turns into a violent conflict because one took everything very to heart, and the second was unable to smooth out the “sharp angle.”
- Incompatibility of temperament types. Example: he is choleric, she is melancholic. Women of this type are passive in society, have a vulnerable nature, and low self-esteem. Men are characterized by impulsiveness, overestimation own merits, desire to dominate, aggressiveness. The result of the union is that the chosen one is constantly subjected to psychological pressure from her partner. He, without realizing it, has a negative impact on the woman, causing her pain.
- Treason. Women often accept the fact of infidelity without actually forgiving the man. They begin to “harass” the chosen one with constant reminders of sin. Many men, unable to stand it, break off “sick” relationships. Some continue to cheat, but do it more carefully, which is also not in the best possible way affects the life of the couple.
- Physiological, sexual incompatibility. Enough common reason problems in people's love relationships. If sex life in a couple does not satisfy one of the partners - the union will not last long. Men are more active than women in trying to get satisfaction. Therefore, they often look for a solution to the problem, which consists of breaking up and looking for another relationship, more harmonious and sensual.
- Unplanned pregnancy. If the instinct of motherhood is inherent in female nature, then for men everything happens differently. Many are capable of becoming excellent fathers to future children, but it is a matter of time and the presence of true feelings. Not every man is ready for this role at a certain age, with a specific woman. A very common reason for separation is an unwanted child.
- Material difficulties. Many girls want to see their partner financially stable from the moment they start a relationship. If this condition is not met, conflicts, reproaches, and scandals begin. Another situation: a young woman is experiencing financial difficulties and has to save on everything. At some point, the man decides to retreat, leaving his wife under the pretext of “I can’t do this anymore, it’s hard for me!”
- "Mom is against". The hackneyed expression " Sissy” describes the situation perfectly. Very often people break up because of the selfish love of a mother for her son. The obedient offspring is unable to contradict the parent, who “wishes him only the best.” If his chosen one is not to the liking of the future mother-in-law, then conflict in the couple is inevitable.
How does a man cope with a breakup?
American experts in the field of psychological knowledge have proven that men's susceptibility to stress caused by parting with a loved one is stronger than women's experiences. However, we women often think differently.What explains such an amazing fact? It's simple - boys with childhood criticized for crying and showing emotional weakness. After all, it is believed that a man must always “keep up his standards,” be noble, and not give in to despondency.
It turns out that men feel no less sad after a breakup than the weaker half of humanity. They also want people to be interested in their lives, despite the separation, they anxiously await phone calls, messages, and touching messages.
The only thing that distinguishes your suffering from the experiences of your man is that he will not stare at you for hours. joint photos, washing myself with tears and listening to the advice of lonely friends. Most likely, your loved one will not even show that he is not happy. He will continue to work, meet friends, flirt with other women. It’s easier for him to cope with the stress of breaking up a relationship.
When a person is not indifferent to his partner, he will definitely look for ways to get closer. A woman usually feels well. Another thing is that most ladies prefer to deliberately deceive themselves about their love prospects.
Rest assured that loving person will not give up trying to reunite. We often mistakenly think that if a young man is not exhausted, he drinks in bars, has connections with other girls, then he doesn’t care. But this is not true, he just needs more time to realize the seriousness of the situation and begin to act. Of course, provided that he experiences sincere feelings.
There are often cases when a man treats very coldly ex-lover, ignores all communication. We will think that he doesn’t care about her, but this is often the behavior of individuals who have had an extremely difficult time with this breakup. The person is in pain and sad, so he will feign cynical indifference.
What is my fault?
Even if your partner initiated the breakup, some re-evaluation of your own actions will still be required. Analyze your relationship, were they so flawless? What did you do to maintain the love affair, the absence of routine?
In the practice of psychologists, it is not uncommon for a woman to look out for her ex’s fault in everything, while continuing to love him and want him back. She categorically does not accept the fact of her mistakes, believing that she suffers completely undeservedly.
However, no separation is a consequence negative actions only one side in the relationship. Guilt is always shared between lovers, since in the character of each person there is a set of both positive and negative feelings and emotional outbursts.
Parting is never amicable.
Bipasha Basu
Perhaps you “stifled” your man too much with your care, or, on the contrary, did not show due attention to his life? Not worth it. There is an excellent expression: “you always need to start with yourself.” This means that only after admitting your mistakes can you adequately evaluate the misdeeds of others. Having learned this rule, we won’t have to live the life of another person, we’d better figure it out in our own heads!
We objectively assess our chances of getting our loved one back
In this matter, the main thing is to honestly answer the question: “Was there love?” This refers to feelings on the part of the partner. It would be nice to decide on personal motivation, i.e. – Do you really need to renew your relationship? How practical is it?
No less important point- the reason for the separation. Perhaps the man has moved on to another relationship, he has a new passion, he is happy and has found what he was looking for. In this case, the situation takes a complex turn, since we are no longer talking about the reciprocity of your impulses. If you show assertiveness and cause discord in someone else's love story, you risk becoming the epicenter of the conflict. This will not lead to a positive outcome, as you will not get your partner back.
There is another option for the development of the situation: there is clear knowledge and confidence that your loved one’s new passion is a hobby that cannot hold him for a long time. In this case, your task is to assess your own chances, try to identify whether your chosen one still has feelings for you.
What can you do?
If you are ready to forgive without turning life after reconciliation into a battlefield, then feel free to choose tactics. Psychologists recommend taking a wait-and-see approach. Don't be intrusive, don't attack a man at every intersection. Step aside so he can look at you from a different angle.Live ordinary life, but are in the field of view of your ex-lover. By your behavior you need to inform him that you are waiting and loving, but you know your worth, you are not going to humiliate yourself and wait for this man all your life.
When it comes to a break in relations associated with the irreconcilability of the characters of two people, then the only the right decision will work on your personal shortcomings. Here there is a need for a confidential conversation, a search best contact with a partner. When you understand what the problem is, the dialogue becomes more productive.
It is important!
If a man willingly maintains a conversation regarding your relationship, voices his complaints, communicates his desires, then there is definitely a point in getting back together. When the situation is different, it is worth thinking about the advisability of returning to the past.
In the case where the relationship had to be terminated due to a lack of mutual understanding with the older generation, namely with the parents (usually the mother) of the man, try to decide for yourself whether you can put up with this fact. Much depends on the partner’s position; if she is too passive, then decide on your readiness to accept such a man.
Parting helps to feel closeness.
author unknown
In the case when the negative in communication with relatives is understood, but the decision to renew the union is made, Possible ways of further communication should be considered:
- take active steps to seek mutual understanding with the relatives of the chosen one, try to please them, but at the same time be prepared for the fact that they may offend, humiliate, or show alienation;
- calmly ignore complaints, without responding to them with rudeness, without showing aggression, reduce meetings and contacts with relatives to a minimum, and do not discuss their behavior with your partner;
- open confrontation, during which there is no talk of hushing up problems, here it is necessary to defend your right to happy relationship, do not allow yourself to be treated badly.
Recommendations for those who still want their man back after a breakup
Before you begin to attempt rapprochement, focus on the following preparatory points:
- We take a break and determine for ourselves the importance of returning to a relationship with a former partner.
- We evaluate the possibility of reunion, taking into account the reason for the separation.
- We conduct a calm internal dialogue with ourselves, for the purpose of self-analysis, healthy self-criticism, but not self-flagellation!
- We set priorities with the understanding that we may have to give in to a man in many ways. Do we agree with this?
- If you still need a man, then you need to establish communication; it should not be intrusive. It is better if you show chaste calm and a willingness to always come to the rescue.
Ways to reconcile with your beloved man
- straight Talk;
- manifestation of attempts at rapprochement (no intrusiveness, moral violence, aggression);
- organization of relaxed pastime (friendly gatherings, going to entertainment events);
- please help in establishing communication between close friends or relatives of the man (if you have a friendly relationship with them);
- romantic date;
- going on vacation together;
- ridding a man of talking about his shortcomings, the emphasis must be placed on the positive sides of his personality;
- variety of sexual life;
- if previously there were complaints from the partner regarding the inability to cook, sloppiness, then these shortcomings need to be corrected.
Conclusion
In the separation of two lovers there can sometimes be positive sides. After all, this is an opportunity to identify relationship mistakes, correct them and never repeat them. However, it is important to understand that the resumption of the previous connection must be conditioned by moral necessity and the presence of strong, mutual feelings. Only then does it make sense.In solving the problem of how to get a man back after a breakup, advice from a psychologist, analysis of your own behavior, support from loved ones and confidence in your feelings will be useful.
Do you think it’s possible to get your beloved man back after a breakup? Does this make sense? Perhaps you have succeeded in this once?
The relationship between a man and a woman is an issue so complex and mysterious that it is extremely difficult to judge it from the outside. Each couple and each specific situation is a whole bottomless world. We want everything to be smooth in our relationship, and that no black cat never once slipped between us and our soulmate.Unfortunately, this is not always the case. We are all human, which means that we are constantly faced with difficulties and difficult questions– even in communication with our loved ones. To avoid these insidious pitfalls, you need to build relationships competently, carefully and patiently. Even if quarrels and troubles happen in our lives, we must try to do everything in order to preserve love.
How to restore a relationship with your husband after a divorce?
Divorce is an unpleasant thing. But, unfortunately, in last years The figures provided by inexorable statistics are disappointing: an increasing number of couples are divorcing their marriage. However, this does not mean that after a divorce, ex-spouses will not want to be together again. And quite often the initiative in such cases comes from women. Many representatives of the fair sex, having separated from their husbands, look with sober eyes at the men around them. And they realize that they went too far with the divorce. The problem is that not all young ladies know what to do to get their husband back. So, what methods must be resorted to in order for the “former” to become “real” again?First of all, you need to make every effort to be sincere. It is quite possible that your fault for the divorce is no less than your husband’s. Admitting your mistakes and asking for forgiveness for them is not weakness at all - it is wisdom. It would be useful to admit your guilt and your own shortcomings. And not only recognize, but also try to cope with them through joint efforts.
Analyzing the accumulated problems will also not hurt. You both made a lot of mistakes in the past, so you will have to make every effort not to dance on the old rake. Don't get closer all at once, but gradually. Excessive haste can only cause harm. And in the end, resume your old ones trusting relationship! A husband and wife should not only be lovers, but also friends. Spending time together, common interests and leisure - all this will only bring you closer to your husband. And finally, in order to resurrect love, you need to be able to forgive and forget old grievances. It’s difficult, no one argues, but it’s impossible without it.
How to get your wife back and restore your relationship with her?
To be fair, it is worth saying that more often it is the husband who leaves, not the wife. But since such an out-of-the-ordinary situation has occurred, it must be corrected urgently. Don’t drown out the pain of losing your beloved woman with alcohol with friends and don’t throw yourself into the arms of casual relationships that supposedly help you forget, but work hard and hard so that your sweetheart is close again. Moreover, if you consider that men, despite the fact that they are the stronger sex, are much more sensitive to such a case.First of all, you need to calm down and try to soberly assess the situation. Analyze your relationship and try to understand when exactly it started to crack. What seemed insignificant to you could play a completely different role for her. Then try to pull yourself together - to the out-of-shape and depressed little guy ex-wife will return only out of a feeling of compassion. Continue to live, work, develop - then the ex-wife will most likely doubt her choice and, quite possibly, will return to you sooner.
And remember: what happened will not return in its previous form. You already missed your chance once - try not to do it again. You'll have to re-conquer your sweetheart so as not to lose her again!
How to restore a relationship with a girl after a breakup?
Quarrels, unfortunately, are not uncommon in our lives. But how often, having cooled down after the heat of an argument and showdown, we realize what a huge mistake we made. And it doesn’t matter that things didn’t come to a divorce - after all, you and your girlfriend were not married. I still don’t want to lose a loved one. Therefore, if a girl has left you, do not be discouraged, but make every effort to be with her again.
But first of all, ask yourself strictly: “Do I need to resurrect a relationship that has cracked?” Men, be honest with yourself and have the courage to take responsibility for rekindling your relationship! After all, if after some time you break up again, and on your initiative, then it will hurt the girl doubly.
But if your decision is firm and unshakable, you need to arrange a meeting. You will have to do this yourself - transferring the task to friends will not be the best the best option. If your loved one refuses, do not put pressure on her, be patient and delicate, but at the same time persistent. However, you shouldn’t go too far either.
When the girl agrees to listen to you, you will have to talk frankly about her feelings. The more correctly and sincerely you can express what is in your heart, the greater the chances that the girl who, as you know, loves with her ears, will return to you. Apologize for mistakes you made in the past and try not to repeat them again. Now you will have to work hard to win your beloved again. Work on yourself, develop and grow - in this case your chances of success are greater. As the saying goes, less words- more things to do. Prove that you are the one your chosen one needs.
How to restore a relationship with your ex-boyfriend?
Girls are emotional and unbalanced creatures. Often, having flared up over a trivial matter or without it at all, they leave, and then, on reflection, decide to return their ex-boyfriend. First of all, figure out whether the game is worth the candle. Do you need this particular person or a guy in general? Or maybe you just can’t forgive him for daring to let you leave? Or you still can’t live without it? Dear girls, be honest with yourself and answer this fundamental question frankly.Remember what you were like when your ex was crazy about you. Very often in the process of relationships we change - and not in better side. Work on your mistakes and try to interest him again.
Think carefully about what exactly you will say at the meeting (if he agrees to it). There will be no second chance to correct the situation, so the successful outcome of this fight depends on what and how you say. In addition, it would be useful to attract your common pleasant memories to your side. This could be the place where you had your first kiss; the dress he constantly complimented; perfumes that made him lose his mind - in other words, anything.
Try to figure out what feelings ex-boyfriend feels towards you. Carefully test the waters: if the gentleman still has tenderness for you, luck may well smile on you again. In this case, you can let your ex know young man that you are not indifferent to him, that you thought and continue to think about him. In this case, it’s worth trying to talk frankly - what if he also wants to get you back, but just doesn’t dare? And remember: there can be no absolutely hopeless situations!
How to restore a damaged relationship after a quarrel?
The quarrel has passed, passions have subsided, the time has come to collect and throw away the fragments of cups and saucers broken during the scandal. Now each of you is sulking in two different corners, but in the depths of your soul you are waiting for a truce. To figure out how to compromise and patch up the crack that has formed in the relationship, you will have to work hard.First of all, we need to remember who initiated the quarrel. If this came from you, it will be easier to get close to restoring balance, but if the negativity came from your significant other, you will have to work hard. Try to forgive mutual grievances - this burden only gets in the way and pulls you both back.
Have a sincere conversation and try to find a solution to the problem together. After all, a quarrel is not the final break. If you are still connected warm feelings and general pleasant moments, winning this fight will be much easier. If both partners have cooled down and burned out, then it is quite possible that there is nothing left to save.
How to restore trust in a relationship after cheating?
Treason is a terrible word that repels and inspires horror. But life is such a complex and unpredictable thing that no one should renounce betrayal. Many people who have lived their entire lives in marriage have cheated on their significant other at least once. This puncture cannot always be kept secret. Then the question naturally arises: is it possible to restore shaken trust? And how to do this?The first healthy reaction of a deceived person will be complete shock. At this time, the main thing is not to rush headlong into the pool and not make any mistakes. After a clear understanding of what has happened, the time comes for intensive questioning. The deceived spouse will bombard you with questions about the identity of the competitor and the nature of your relationship to him. This time lasts a long time - and right now you can try to regain lost feelings and lost trust. We need to find out whether it makes sense to save the relationship. If there is still hope for their resumption, we will have to work hard. You will need to try to become a normal, healthy couple again. Often, betrayal becomes a kind of test of feelings - after it, the relationship can even become much stronger and sincere. Although it often takes a lot of time, wisdom and strength to cope with pain and resentment.
Is it worth restoring the relationship?
Before you rush to save a relationship, you should honestly and frankly ask yourself whether it is worth doing. No matter how much you would like to get your soul mate back, this can often lead to nothing but a new breakup after some time.That is why you need to carefully analyze the reasons that caused the quarrel. If you understand that everything is too confused, and you have neither the strength nor (admit to yourself) desire to untangle, then it is quite possible that you will just have to cut this Gordian knot. But remember that in this case you need to act nobly and wisely, because leaving is also an art. You can’t just pick up and abandon a person who until recently was the closest to you. Try to maintain mutual respect and part ways, at least not as enemies or completely indifferent people.
Be happy!
Cooling does not occur at one moment, but gradually. And it’s very easy to notice, of course, if you are attentive to your partner.
Often, “fire measures” to improve a marriage are taken when there is nothing left to improve.
It seems to me that from the very beginning you need to act in such a way that your partner finds it interesting and pleasant to be with you. When a relationship with a man begins to slowly cool down, it is important to understand in what area this is happening.
- If it's missing sexual attraction, it wouldn’t hurt to see a doctor or psychologist.
- If there is cooling in the sphere of human relations, it is important to understand at what level they were initially.
- If it was a fiery passion that knew no bounds, and then the couple felt cooling, this is normal.
- And if initially the level of the relationship was not particularly high, and after that the couple felt that everything had reached almost zero, this is a completely different situation.
- If your husband has lost interest in you as a person, it means he has found someone more interesting. Family is daily work, over time you no longer notice that it is labor and work, it becomes a habit.
But the life of one and the life of two are completely different things. To avoid problems, if possible, you should not get very close to each other, you should not enter someone else’s territory, get involved in everything and live literally every activity of your loved one.
There is no need to make one life out of two. This greatly complicates relationships and spoils them. You just need to define the things that will be done together - what is a common competence. If you want to invite a partner into your territory, then that's okay. But he shouldn’t go there himself. And there is no need to be offended by this.
Anatoly Borsyuk, showman
Coldness does not mean alienation
Imagine that in a flower shop you liked beautiful flower in a pot. You brought it home, placed it in a visible place. At first, you actively look after him, rejoice and even talk to him. After a while, you stop perceiving its beauty so keenly.
So in love relationships: the most wonderful person, being nearby every hour, can “get familiar”. But that doesn’t mean we stop loving him, right?..
Many women come to see a psychologist with a similar problem. When you start to sort out the situation with them, it turns out that what really bothers them is not the presence of a mistress or problems in family relationships, but the fact that there was a threat to lose some familiar comfortable conditions: status married woman, prosperity...
Try to honestly answer the question: “What hurts me the most? That he is cold to me? Or that he might divorce me?”
Every marriage is unique; some people, after the stormy first years of love, grow cold towards each other and start affairs on the side. Others, on the contrary, love each other even more over the years, although outwardly the relationship seems cool.
The reason for external coldness may not be a mistress, but domestic, work or financial problems. I recommend that before making hasty conclusions (“Something is wrong with him” or “Something is wrong with me”), find out whether something is tormenting your partner.
It is important to try to find the key to the person, to clarify the reasons for such behavior. It is certainly difficult to decide to have this conversation, but it must be done.
Sergey Dubich, psychologist, www.dubichs.info
Give him the right to make mistakes!
I believe that cheating is almost inevitable in any marriage. It is very painful and unpleasant, but it is a fact. And no signs of attention, care or concessions will help. On the contrary, if you begin to give in to everything and adapt to your partner, he will “sit on his head.”
They say business trips save marriages. Maybe really short separations will help you feel that you need each other, and your love will flare up with renewed vigor?
It seems to me that every person (including your husband) should have the right to make a mistake. What conclusions he draws from his mistakes is another matter! Very often people live together not because they love each other, but because they feel so comfortable. Maybe love has transformed into a different feeling - respect, responsibility for the family, and so on.
Relationships must change, because over the years everything changes - our preferences, attitudes towards sex, and habits.
And cooling is not necessarily associated with the presence of a mistress. Maybe he has a hobby that you don't know about. Or he is simply uncomfortable in the family circle.
It seems to me that the worst thing in family relationships is when people simply don’t talk. If they quarrel and sort things out, it means they are not indifferent to each other. True, there is one nuance here: the number of reconciliations should be exactly one more than the number of quarrels.
Konstantin Dreval, manager
Photo in text: Depositphotos.com
