• How to cope with short-term separation. How to survive a breakup with a loved one: recommendations from psychologists

    13.08.2019

    They say love can withstand anything. If feelings are strong and sincere, neither long distance nor time can hinder them. Our grandmothers, accompanying their husbands to war, firmly believed that even if something happened to their soldiers, love would remain in their hearts forever: they waited for years, believed that they would return, loved.

    If you remember history, there were few ways to contact loved ones: military cards, triangle letters and news from friends came from the front. Sometimes the news took a very long time or got lost.

    But today life dictates its own rules to us, according to which we are sometimes obliged to be apart from our loved ones for some (and sometimes for a long) time. There can be many reasons - work, business trips, housing, problems with parents or other relatives. Or maybe you just met and, living in different cities, decide to reunite after some time?

    What to do while apart?

    At first, living apart is very difficult. You actually fall out of the usual rhythm of life, you don’t feel the warmth of your beloved hands, you don’t hear a familiar voice or sympathetic advice. And nothing can replace the one you have been looking for with such difficulty. I want to cry at night, throw up my hands, forget about everything around and wait for news from him, the only one.

    For many, separation can be so difficult that it can lead to prolonged depression and, as a result, to diseases. Therefore, take care of your moral well-being.

    Abstract yourself

    You shouldn’t get hung up on your feelings, your “temporary misfortune”, or constantly feel sorry for yourself. Think about your other half. After all, he is also worried. And, perhaps, everything falls out of his hands no less than you.

    Get busy

    Upload yourself professional activity or take care of things that have been gathering dust on your desktop for a long time. Try not to make the slightest mistake in production matters, because now you have more free time. Show your professionalism to your superiors - maybe you will be included in the personnel reserve or promoted. Then you will have something to brag about to your loved one when you meet.

    Communicate

    Separation from your loved one is not a reason to forget about friends. IN married life sometimes there is simply not enough time for communication with friends. Now there is a reason to catch up. Go with friends to the beach, to a museum, to a concert, to a club. There is no point in setting yourself up as if you are “breaking away from your husband”; treat it as if you are drowning out the pain of separation.

    Attention! If this type of recreation (clubs, discos) is unacceptable for your couple, you should not play with fire. Come up with a simplified option - a bachelorette party with friends, caring and communicating with younger ones, communicating with colleagues. We do not recommend “fighting” melancholy with hermithood, crocodile tears, or using artificial “simulators of joy” - alcohol, tobacco, drugs and a lot of coffee.

    Find a hobby

    Do something you've always dreamed of, or remember something you've done before favourite buisness, which I had to give up for one reason or another. When you meet your loved one, you can pleasantly please him and your loved ones with crafts, paintings, and compositions.

    If you wanted to skydive or go jumping, do not deny yourself the pleasure. You will also have something to brag about to your partner. Or maybe he will want to share with you new hobby.

    Also good for getting rid of negative thoughts Foreign language courses, courses in playing musical instruments and advanced training courses.

    Take care of yourself

    Visit a hairdresser, cosmetologist, pick up a new style in clothes. Change appearance always useful. Sports activities (running, swimming, yoga, fitness) with a frequency of 2 times a week relieves depressive thoughts and helps you look better. Don't forget about morning exercises.

    Take a rest

    Get some sleep if time permits. Caring for two people is more pleasant, but harder. Temporarily your worries have decreased. Relax and enjoy your holiday. The more you rest, the better you will look when you meet.

    How to be close to your loved one while at a distance

    1. Before your partner leaves, place your a photo together or your photo. Find out in advance which one he likes best and choose it. You can also put your group photo framed on your desktop or placed in any other prominent place.

    How to survive separation from your loved one

    2. Try not to change the daily routine that you are used to while living together. Try to do some things at the same time, if possible.

    Agree in advance about:

    • watching a movie together on Sunday (via Skype or each in their own cinema), you can discuss the plot during or after the screening,
    • listening to music together - the one that you really like, and the one that brings back the most pleasant memories of the events of your life,
    • read books together on Skype or send each other links to books, excerpts from works that affected you the most,
    • discuss your successes and achievements, recognize problems, empathize, consult, as before. If you are used to seeing sunsets and sunrises, this can also be done through communication. Arrange a shopping trip together if you have always liked to do this together: consult over the phone about purchases, share photos of purchases. Make joint purchases by choosing products from online stores.

    3. The epistolary genre has recently become very popular. Send each other sweet messages, postcards, and passionate confessions more often. This helps even the most serious couples maintain the warmth of their relationship.

    4. Wish you pleasant dreams via SMS or calls.

    5. Showcase your creativity:

    • Make photo collages for each other if you know how. Edit and design photos. Come up with an editing idea: who do you see as your other half - a brave knight or a conqueror of snowy peaks? Or maybe you want to depict the two of you against the backdrop of a dream city?
    • if you can, make a video describing your Love , from photos and videos where you spend time together.
    • Create a common blog, your website or a common email, the password for which both know. There you can place your notes, reminders, to-do list, photos, videos, and holiday cards.

    6. Play an online game together. Come up with a punishment/forfeit for the loser in advance. What kind of task will it be? How will he/she perform it – now or at a meeting?

    7. Organize a date via Skype. Clean your apartment, place candles everywhere, dress up in your favorite clothes. Try it virtual sex, if it is acceptable for the couple.

    8. Give gifts and nice little things - money for the phone, order a gift to your loved one via the Internet and send it to him. You can also send a gift through friends who are traveling in his direction; men can order flowers for girls through the appropriate websites.

    9. Leave quarrels for later. Many people know from their own experience how difficult it is to experience misunderstandings at a distance - not to mention quarrels. And if someone alone stops answering SMS or calls, you panic and don’t know what to think. And there is no way to come and see what happened - what mood the interlocutor is in, whether he is offended or simply busy. There is no opportunity to look into the eyes or hug, which is especially helpful in resolving disputes.

    It is believed that if two people are always close, they do not have the opportunity to test their feelings. People who sometimes live separately are luckier in this regard. After all, separation affects love like the wind on fire: a weak spark goes out, and a strong flame swells even more.

    How do you cope with separation from your loved one?

    Olga VOSTOCHNAYA,
    psychologist

    The situation of separation from loved ones is probably familiar to everyone. Many overcome this with peace of mind and quickly find a new passion. And someone has to long time suffer. Because of this, the question: “how to survive a breakup with a loved one” worries many people.

    Saying goodbye to a loved one is always unpleasant. Emotional pain and apathy are faithful companions of separation. It is much more difficult to get used to this thought when you have already become emotionally attached, “clinging” to someone else. How can you easily cope with a breakup with your loved one? Advice from a psychologist can help with this difficult issue.

    Parting at the peak of feelings is tantamount to surgery without anesthesia.
    Oksana Nerobkaya. Have a banker. Capital Love Story

    Breakup formula

    Experts have come up with the so-called “breakup formula.” According to it, the initiator of separation retains only 1/3 negative emotions(resentment, bitterness, etc.), and the remaining 2/3 remains to the one who was abandoned. However, those who are faced with such a situation have no time for calculations. Here I would like to cope with my surging emotions.

    In this case, the advice of psychologists will come in handy. They will help you calm down and build a clear plan of action, and will allow you not to fall into depression. Thanks to such advice, a person in short time will be able to feel mental relief and open up to new and beautiful things.

    Experts say that the period of separation anxiety can occur before three years– it all depends on the person’s psychotype. How can you easily survive a breakup with your loved one?

    What you should definitely NOT do

    Certain stereotypes have formed in our society. This also applies to how easier it is to survive a separation from your loved one. In most cases, these tips only worsen the original situation. Here are the most common “recommendations”:
    1. Instantly being forgotten in the arms of another.
      The most popular and destructive mistake among people going through a breakup. It is possible that in the first moments it will become easier. But this is not a panacea for sadness. You will only make yourself more depressed later.
    2. Seek salvation in alcohol.
      Besides the fact that it is harmful to health, such a hobby will not bring moral satisfaction. As a result, in the morning you will wake up not only with the same thoughts, but also with a headache.
    3. Turn off all means of communication. Isolate yourself from society.
      Remember that your loved ones and friends need you. You shouldn’t forget about them for a long time.
    4. Thinking that this is a temporary separation.
      It happened, and you need to accept this fact. Let this person go, don’t hold grudges or anger towards him.
    5. Don't be fooled by your brain's tricks.
      Our mind is a complex and multifaceted thing. And, sometimes, when we don’t even want to think about something or completely forget, the brain can suddenly give us “lost” information.
    After a breakup, memories from the past can often pop up in your head: how good it was with your loved one. In fact, this is just an illusion. And there is no need to try to return anything.

    Switch to what really interests you in the present. Over time, these thoughts will either go away completely or will no longer bother you so much.

    And what happens after?


    Above, we looked at the main stages that will help women and men get through a breakup painlessly. But what to do after these steps? Psychologists have some advice for this question:
    1. Find an interesting hobby for yourself. No matter how trivial it may sound, hobbies help improve your mood, as well as expand your worldview. You will not notice how you will feel a surge of new strength and a desire to create something new and interesting. In addition, many hobbies will contribute to making new acquaintances. For example, dancing is one of the most popular modern hobbies. With this activity you can kill “two birds with one stone”: keep your body in great shape and meet interesting people.
    2. Change your perception. As has already been said, do not rush into a new relationship immediately after a breakup. Separation also has its advantages. You will have time to think about your mistakes and what you can change in yourself. In addition, this is a great opportunity to understand more about what kind of person you need to be happy. You now have a lot of time at your disposal to analyze your actions.
    3. About a change of scenery. Very effective advice. If possible, change your usual environment. Travel to another city or country. Such trips help to conduct better self-analysis, and unnecessary thoughts are guaranteed to disappear from your head.
    4. Plan your life. Previously, you had common life goals and guidelines for both of you. Now you are alone with yourself, it’s time to reconsider your views and priorities.

    The most unpleasant thing about a breakup is not the breakup itself.
    And the fact that they constantly tell you that you made a mistake.
    And as a result, you stop trusting yourself for a while.
    Kristen Stewart

    Healing week

    Today, the so-called 7-day plan is very popular among psychologists. It is necessary to build a clear structure of your actions for the week, to fit yourself into the framework. Here is an approximate plan of action to make it easier to survive a separation from a loved one. And at the same time develop self-discipline.
    1. 1st day. Start keeping a journal. A great way to express all your emotions. Write down your daily experiences in it. Over time, you will be able to trace the gradation of self-improvement. Every week the emotions will become more positive.
    2. 2nd day. Give yourself a gift. It doesn't matter what it is - a trip to the hairdresser, a day at the spa or a trip to the amusement park. The main goal of such a day is relaxation and pleasant emotions.
    3. 3rd day. Review your diet and exercise. You don’t have to go on a strict diet and spend days in the gym. It would be appropriate to do morning exercises, which will then become a habit. It is enough to start every day with 10 minutes of light exercise, and a stream of endorphins will flow into your blood. This clears your head of unnecessary thoughts, and you can focus on what really matters.
    4. 4th day. Appearance. It has already been said above that appearance must always be well-groomed. It gives you confidence. After separation, the desire to take care of oneself often disappears. Overcome it and remember that looking great is a daily effort that is necessary under any circumstances.
    5. 5th day. Arrange a trip to nature. A small picnic will help you relax and put your thoughts in order.
    6. 6th day. Spend time with friends. Don't isolate yourself. Communication will help you not to lose heart and be distracted.
    7. 7th day. End the week with an enjoyable activity. It doesn’t matter what it is – reading, cooking or watching TV series.
    As you can see, many psychologists’ advice overlaps. There are differences somewhere, however, they have the same basis.

    Of all the tips, the following main points can be highlighted:

    1. Put a bold point

    This is a difficult step. Especially in the first month. It is necessary to let go of the person, and yourself too, with a calm soul. Understand that life goes on and there are many new and interesting things ahead. It is important to recognize that you and your previous partner now have very different lives.

    2. Drive away persistent thoughts.

    It's also not the easiest step. There is no point in falling into despair. You can be sad just a little in order to throw out your negative emotions.

    At this stage of life, auto-training will come in handy. Praise yourself for every little thing, admire yourself. Life is Beautiful!

    3. Say no to hate

    One of the most common mistakes is to hate the person from whom the separation occurred. Yes, separation situations are completely different. But there is no point in accumulating anger. This is a page turned, so try to let this person go by wishing him happiness from the bottom of your heart.

    Forgive your ex, because anger and hatred will become a real obstacle to new feelings. Think about your mistakes and don’t blame your ex-chosen one.

    4. It is necessary to understand that you cannot return the past

    Constantly looking back will only cause harm in the form of deep depression. It will be quite difficult at first. But, having overcome yourself, you will soon understand that living in the present and thinking about the future is wonderful.

    Separation from people dear to your heart is always sad. And for many it is very difficult. To answer the obvious question in such a situation, “How to survive a breakup with a loved one?” The advice of a psychologist can give the answer.

    The end of a relationship is not the end, but the real beginning for a new life, new discoveries and adventures. Remember this and be happy.

    Question for readers

    How did you cope with breaking up with your loved one? Was it very difficult?
    1. You need to understand that very rare relationships last your entire life!
      Sooner or later, you may have some kind of discord or breakup, and you will separate.
    2. There must be an understanding that in this world, in principle, there is nothing so super stable that it would never leave or collapse.

    Understanding this 1 piece of advice from a psychologist on how to cope with a breakup with a loved one will greatly enhance your knowledge.

    2. Find your favorite activity that you want to do and be passionate about completely and with great passion.

    • Regarding your life in general, finding something you want to do, want to live and be passionate about - it greatly supports you emotionally and from all sides!
    • Having it, you will not be so jarred and panicked by some kind of loss, even if you broke up with your loved one.
    • Your favorite hobby, activity, your own path, the energy and passion put into it greatly recharges you, gives you a purpose in life, gives you a feeling of pleasure and enjoyment from life.
    • Thanks to them, you forget about the gray everyday life, completely penetrate into the process, forgetting everyday trifles and interruptions. You no longer worry about what to do if you get dumped or how to get over it.
    • Having broken off the relationship, you can now fully immerse yourself in your favorite thing and fully abide and grow with it further.
    • For example, these could be your projects, business ideas, events, your creativity, financial plans, hobbies and favorite sports. Who is good at what.

    Always remember about your favorite hobby and passion, put it in first place now, and then you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

    3. Realize that relationships, in any case, cannot be a mission and goal in life.

    1. Social programming suggests that supposedly relationships- the most important component in life. That is, people make building relationships the main component of life. This is a very common thing that can be observed now.
    2. She's so Hollywood and from the movies or from some hidden childhood dreams. It occurs in both men and women. And if you do not get rid of this illusion, you will still need advice from a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with your loved one.
    3. There is another wrong belief people have. People come to their soulmate as if under the bosom of a tree from work or school with the conviction “but here I will feel good.”
      And if this happens in your head, then, as a rule, it does not live up to your expectations.
    4. Sooner or later the illusions will collapse. To some extent, people can create this illusion for each other, then it all just falls apart.

    Relationships are definitely important.

    In them we can realize ourselves, let another person realize themselves, establish emotional contact with a partner, make our life and his life easier.

    But in general they cannot be a mission.

    Relationships in any case cannot be a mission in life!

    Illusions of girls

    On the part of girls, this thing is present in their heads more often. And therefore they are more likely to need help and different councils a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a beloved man.

    Girls elevate relationships to a higher rank because they have such biological factor like a family and a child.

    Your problem is that you needed to distract yourself from tightly clinging to relationships and making them a goal in life.

    This will only make things worse for you, because sooner or later your illusions will begin to shatter, and you will again think about what to do when your loved one has left you.

    4. Don’t let yourself slide into an emotional hole after a breakup.

    1. It is very important when such gaps occur and critical moments are not to let yourself slide into an emotional hole. Some people become depressed. You can learn about ways to get rid of depression. They can last not one day, but even a week or two. This can really undermine you.
    2. Emotionally, the problem may be completely trivial. But, for example, a man can fall so emotionally into this gap that he has a desire to go to the mountains, become a monk and do nothing else in this life, or go headlong into business, forgetting about women altogether.
    3. Although in reality it’s not all that serious. Anything can happen. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t make mountains out of molehills, and know everything about how to survive a breakup with a girl after long relationship or many years of marriage.

    5. Solve the psychological problem first: don’t go to extremes and run to look for a new partner

    After a breakup, you may get the feeling that everything needs to be resolved at once, right now.

    Problems need to be resolved as they arise.

    You don't need to decide everything at once.

    First, find harmony with yourself and solve the problem within

    If you are unstable emotional condition, depression, then deal with it first.

    Some people go to extremes after a breakup and quickly run to look for a new partner.

    And this will supposedly be a solution to the problem. This will supposedly close questions about how to survive the pain of parting with a loved one.

    Is this a solution?

    What mistakes do people make?

    People simply cover up their mental wound with a band-aid, looking for a replacement instead of dealing with themselves.

    This swing from one extreme to another does not end well.

    Accept the state you are in now, see it and tell yourself: “Yes, now I am not yet completely in harmony with myself after the breakup. Well, it’s okay, I’ll solve this issue first, and then we’ll see.”

    Remember this and no longer need advice from a psychologist on how to survive a separation from your husband.

    6. What Your Brain Can Do to You: The Broken Record Analogy

    • All your memories of past loves when everything was good, blooming and smelling - it was just an appearance.
      If that balance were preserved, then this would really be so. And this is an illusory appearance. This is already like a broken record, which is also broken.
    • How is your brain playing tricks on you? When you had a breakup and there were a lot of mistakes that you don’t even really want to remember, your brain throws this broken record at you.
    • You put this broken record in your head, where the smooth melody no longer plays, but an incomprehensible grinding sound, a pitiful semblance of a melody and only unpleasant sounds.
    • This record doesn't need to be repaired anymore.!
      You just need to find what you really need!
    • There's no need to even try to come back. It's not worth it.
      Approach the situation soberly, and you will know everything about how to start living after breaking up with your loved one.

    7. Allow yourself to leave forever: there is nothing left to decide, no need to cling.

    Let yourself go forever.

    Understand that there is nothing and no one to resolve.

    Some of you messed up and it is important to understand that this is normal.

    No matter how painful it may be, give yourself the opportunity to leave forever.

    Just like your partner gives himself this opportunity.

    Every girl and every guy gives himself this opportunity.

    Understanding this will close your worries about thoughts about how to survive the breakup of relationships with loved ones.

    8. Make a choice to be cool and not needy, remove expectations.

    1. A person who is not in need is the one who does not cling to other people, tends to give more than to receive and never expects anything from this life! Strive to be one.
    2. A person who is not in need does not think about it, what you will have in the future (even if there is a 99% guarantee, you do not tell others). You can say: “Yes, I have such plans...”. You're going to do it, but you're not living it.
    3. You take what you have at the moment., but you never expect anything to happen in your future - good or bad. It's useless.
    4. Those things that you can cling to in life can be so ephemeral and destructible.
    5. Your reality should not be based on something external!

    A person who is not in need does not need both things and people equally! The paradigm is that they are with them, but there is no fear of loss at all!

    A person who is not needy never asks questions about how to continue living after a breakup.

    A strong man is only glad that weak people They themselves leave his life.

    It’s harder for a woman to live like this, but it’s possible. No need to cling to people.

    Women have a natural need for a man who will protect her, take care of her, they cling to men. This is their problem!

    On our website you can also read about how to get rid of attachment and love addiction.

    9. In the next six months or a year, completely change your perception of the relationship.

    • After your breakup, don’t immediately cling to a new person and don’t try to make him yours for a very long time.
    • This should not be confused with not communicating or getting to know anyone at all. No, you are still communicating and getting close to new people, enjoying the attraction between you.
    • But there should not be this desire to make a person your property for some long time.
    • You must remove the time frame into which you will begin to unknowingly drive a person.
    • Live like this for at least the next six months after the breakup. Then, after six months, based on your inner feelings, you can return to long term relationship with one girl (man).

    A subtle point that needs to be implemented

    Replace the desire to make a person your property with the desire to make him happy.

    The best thing you can do for your partner is to let him live his life to the fullest, and you will be there with him whenever he and you want.

    You still truly love your partner, but you don't try to keep him in any way.

    You must live your own life and give your partner complete freedom of choice.

    Implement this perception and no longer worry about how to get over a breakup with your lover or your secret crush.

    The difference between healthy and unhealthy neediness

    1. There shouldn't be any border and understanding that the person is yours.
      And then you can always go further in terms of developing your spirituality, your level of happiness and harmony.
    2. Yes, you may have a certain percentage of neediness in a new relationship, but this healthy neediness is when you just want to see a person(no matter how you spend your time). You just want to be together.

    10. Ask yourself: “Are your feelings and the image of your ex-partner real, or is this your subjective perception?”

    Ask yourself questions:

    1. Is it real that ex-partner gives you some feelings, or is it your subjective perception that paints them that way, making it special?
    2. If a guy’s perception of his ex-girlfriend as “special”, “giving everyone love” and “increasing well-being” was real, then why don’t all guys perceive her that way?
    3. Why don't any of the other people on the planet who are currently around his ex-girlfriend feel better about it as a guy?

    Answer

    The way a guy perceives ex-girlfriend so cool is his personal subjective perception of the girl.

    No one else perceives her like that except him.

    All other people see the same girl, the same appearance, her same face, but their well-being does not improve in any way!

    And it is very important to realize this in order to close concerns about how it is easier to survive parting with your loved one.

    You yourself draw an addition to the image of your ex, it in no way comes from him himself

    1. The guy's just tied to those old emotions tactile sensations and the past pleasures they gave each other. His perception paints her as something special, as if she has a halo over her head.
    2. The same can be said about former men, for which women continue to pine for no response. Your remaining love after a breakup is only your personal subjective appearance.
    3. You yourself and your perception of feelings draw such an addition to ex-person. This addition itself in no way comes from your ex-partner.
    4. This image that your perception paints for you does not exist in reality. Remember this and close all your questions about how to survive the pain of breaking up with married man or the one with whom sooner or later you would have to part.

    11. Your affection is for the feelings and sensations you previously experienced with your partner, not for the person himself.

    Understand that you are attached to the feeling, not to the person himself.

    This feeling is depicted by your personal subjective perception.

    Understand this and it will become much easier for you.

    Ask yourself:

    1. Why don't you feel this way about yourself?
    2. Why does it only occur in relation to other people?

    The answer is that you just don't love yourself.

    People don’t love themselves and, as a result, need outside help; they ask a psychologist for advice on how to survive a breakup with a husband, boyfriend or female.

    12. Really love yourself

    When you truly fall in love with yourself, your total love will be much stronger than the feelings you have for your ex.

    Your self-love will be the strongest and strongest. No feelings can absorb and bind you.

    And then you will forget about attachment to feelings, you will give more to this world.

    And then people will begin to reach out to you.

    Now you know everything from psychology on the topic of how to survive a breakup with a loved one, and you don’t need any forums.

    If you integrate these understandings into your life, then thoughts like “I wish I could move on quickly after a painful breakup” will no longer appear in your head.

    You will remove a lot of pain and suffering from the relationship and begin to look at things more objectively.

    It's your life, make the right choice!

    After reading this article, you will learn how to painlessly survive a separation from a loved one or a divorce from your husband, forgive the person you broke up with, and move on with your life. And subsequently, do not step on the same rake, but meet someone who really suits you, and build with him another, different, mature and happy relationship.

    If a long time has passed since the breakup, and you still have feelings or grievances, still go through all the steps in the correct order, starting from the very first, as if you broke up yesterday.

    How to survive a separation from a loved one/divorce from your husband – 6 steps:

    In the article you will get step by step instructions to how to survive a separation from a loved one or a divorce from your husband. If you don't go through all these steps after Serious relationships, then you, like many others, will face a sad picture: the next partner will resemble the previous one, and there will be no happiness and harmony in the relationship. So, here are six steps to getting over a breakup safely:

    Step #1: Be aware and accept

    The first step in solving any problem is its awareness and acceptance. In order to get over a breakup, you need to accept and understand the situation. If you have been abandoned, then you must understand that this means that your partner does not love you. He doesn't need you. No matter how harsh it may sound, it is true. And without accepting this fact, you will not be able to move on.

    A loving person will fight for everyone to maintain the relationship possible ways, will try to solve your common problems until the last minute. And if a person, instead of going through a crisis in a relationship or compromising on something, chooses to leave, then he did not love you. Realize this and accept it. This is definitely not your person.

    And if this person doesn’t need you, then why should you try to get him back or continue to suffer for him? You have invested in a relationship in which you are not loved. But what’s even worse is that you continue to invest in them now. You waste your time, your energy and strength, your nerves on memories, suffering and worries.

    Accept the situation as it is. And only after that move on.

    Step #2: Live the emotions

    Parting with a loved one is in second place on the stress scale after the death of a loved one. If such serious stress is not experienced immediately, it risks subsequently developing into. It happens that a person gets divorced and immediately begins the next relationship, without waiting until he feels the separation. After some time (several months or a year), he may begin to feel stressed or even depressed, seemingly out of nowhere. He will think - what is this from? After all, everything was in order. The whole point is that the person suppressed his emotions. And this should never be done. IN otherwise, after a while, they will become depressed or seriously ill.

    Therefore, under no circumstances should you hold back. If you want to be sad, be sad. If you want to express your anger, express it in safe ways. Scream with all your might: in the car, in the forest, in the field. Hit the bag, hit the pillows. Don't keep anything to yourself. I suggest you use the so-called method of paradoxical intention - to strengthen the emotion. If you want to cry, cry with all your might, roll on the floor, sob to “All by myself” or any other sad songs designed for crying. Live the emotions on full blast. Give yourself at least a week to do this. Or three. Make sure that during this time all the bad things come out of you.

    At this step you need to gradually stop calling your ex, follow up in social networks, look through photographs and walk in places that remind you of him. Deny yourself these pleasures day after day. Make sure that by the end of this period your visits to the page and walks in places with memories are completed. This is an important need!

    Step #3: Forgive and let go of the grudge

    The third step should be started only after you have fully expressed all the surging emotions.

    So, step three. Forgiveness and letting go of resentment. It doesn’t matter who initiated the end of the relationship - you or your partner. If you loved, then the grievances will remain in any case. And they need to be dealt with.

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    Don't be lazy to change your life. It's in your hands!
    Your psychologist Lara Litvinova


    Instructions

    Think about what you didn’t have enough time for before, what unfinished tasks you have. Make a plan of your actions day by day and start implementing it. Help your brain restructure itself faster and prevent negative thoughts.

    Use it correctly free time and take care of yourself. Think about how surprised your loved one will be with your new love when you meet after a long separation. To do this, sign up for a gym, go to the pool, and run in the morning. Do various exercises that improve your mood and fight depression.

    Change your hairstyle, visit a beauty salon and pick up new wardrobe. Give yourself small gifts every day.

    Watch your diet carefully. Don’t eat away your melancholy with cakes and various sweets. Eat more fruits and vegetables, lean meats, fish, grains, fermented milk products. Don't let stress take over your body.

    Schedule your day in such a way that you do not have a single free minute. Take up an exciting hobby.

    Don't forget that you have a great chance to chat with old friends for whom you didn't have enough time before. Chat with them, discuss last news and it will become easier for you to worry separation. Surround yourself with family and friends who love you.

    Call your loved one more often and tell him about your thoughts and feelings, stay in touch. Don't be afraid to make an extra call to hear your own voice.

    In the evenings, watch your favorite films and programs, and during the day dance to the rhythms of cheerful melodies. Fill your heart with love and beautiful creations.

    Get yourself a four-legged friend. Knowing that there is not an empty apartment waiting for you at home, but a living being, will help you survive the pain of parting.

    Remember that everything will pass, your loved one will return, and you will be happy. The main thing is to love, trust and be faithful.

    For most people, separation from loved ones is a real challenge. A person begins to feel lonely, abandoned, and cannot find a place for himself. Only a developed character will help you not suffer during separation.

    Instructions

    Suffering is most often selfish. So, if to a close friend offered Good work abroad, you are more likely to think about how difficult it will be for you without him. And only then you will be happy for your friend. And all because communication has become your habit, you have become somewhat dependent on it. Therefore, if you want to cure yourself of separation anxiety, look deep inside yourself. We all live in the same space, and indeed close person will always remain so for you, even if you are on opposite points of the globe. Think about it often.

    The circumstances of separation vary. Sometimes a person is faced with a choice: to leave or follow his loved one. This in turn also means separation from home, many people, etc. The most difficult thing in this situation is for those who are accustomed to comfort in all its manifestations. But the world does not stand still, so a person should not relax either. If you boldly move towards change, the pain of breakups will not even visit you. The future is unknown to anyone, so it is better if you are always prepared for the unexpected.

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