Being a godmother is a great honor, but also a great responsibility, because she will have to become the spiritual mentor of her godson or goddaughter. If your loved ones have given you such an honor, it means they express special trust in you and hope that you will fulfill this role with dignity.
However, keep in mind that in addition to performing the duties of a godmother at baptism, you will later have to instruct your godson in matters of the Christian faith, take him to communion, and set an example of behavior for him.
As for preparing for baptism, this stage takes the godmother several days. What is he doing godmother during baptism? What does she need to know about the ritual of this sacrament? We will answer these and some other questions.
According to church charter, the godmother cannot be the child’s mother, a nun, an unbeliever and an unbaptized woman. Not only the mother’s friend, but also one of the relatives, for example, the baby’s grandmother or aunt, can act as a godmother. However foster mother cannot perform the duties of a godmother either during or after baptism.
How to prepare a godmother for the baptism ceremony
Preparations for baptism for the godmother begin several days before this ceremony. She, like her godfather, needs to fast for a period of time. three days, and then confess and receive communion.
You also need to talk with the priest, who will tell you in detail what the godmother needs to know about this sacrament and what she will have to do during the baptismal ceremony.
As a rule, the duties of a godmother in preparation for baptism include knowing by heart some of the prayers that will need to be read during this ceremony: “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, etc.
They express the essence of faith, help to cleanse oneself from sin and gain strength to overcome obstacles on the path of life. Although in some parishes knowledge of these prayers is not required: during the ceremony, the godparents will only need to repeat some phrases after the priest.
The godmother's preparation for the baptismal ceremony does not end there. She will need to purchase the things necessary for this ceremony and know what actions she will have to perform during the ceremony. However, let's talk about everything in order.
What else does a godmother need to know about the rules for baptizing a child? You should dress modestly for a christening. You cannot come to the temple in trousers, and the skirt must be below the knees. Women's heads in an Orthodox church must be covered with a scarf.
What should a godmother do during a baptism? The ritual consists of the rite of catechumen (reading special prayers over the child), his renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as confession Orthodox faith. The godparents say the appropriate words for the baby on his behalf, renouncing the unclean spirit and promising to remain faithful to the Lord.
If a girl is being baptized, then the godmother should hold her in her arms during the baptism ceremony; if the ceremony is performed by a boy, then Godfather. Although this can also be done by one of the godparents who better acquainted with the baby and next to whom the child feels more comfortable.
However, in any case, the godmother must be well acquainted with the child in order to maintain emotional contact with the baby and be able to calm him down if he cries.
After this, as a child is baptized, immersing him three times in water in the font and reading prayers at the same time, the godmother must take him in her arms. To do this you will need a kryzhma - a white towel. According to superstitions, drops from a baby’s face cannot be wiped off so that his life is happy.
Then the child is put on a cross (if it was not purchased in a church, it will need to be consecrated in advance) and a baptismal outfit - a shirt to the toes for a boy and a dress for a girl. The baby will also need a cap or scarf.
Even during preparation for baptism, the godmother is obliged to choose these things for the child. In the old days, women sewed them themselves, but nowadays baptismal attire and kryzhma can be bought in a store or church shop.
These things are not washed after christening and are not used for their intended purpose. It is recommended to keep them throughout a person’s life, as they serve as amulets, helping him avoid various troubles and diseases.
What else does a godmother need to do when baptizing a child? After initiation into the font, the godparents and the priest walk around it three times with the baby as a sign of spiritual joy from the union of the new member. Christ Church with the Savior for eternal life.
After the ritual of anointing, when parts of the child’s body are anointed with myrrh and prayers are read, the priest washes the myrrh with a special sponge moistened with holy water.
Then the priest lightly trims the child’s hair on four sides, which is folded onto a wax cake and lowered into the font, which symbolizes submission to God and sacrifice in gratitude for the beginning of spiritual life.
(The godmother will need a small bag in which to place the baby's cut hair, which can then also be stored with the towel and shirt.)
After this, the priest reads prayers for the child and his godparents, followed by churching. The priest carries the baby around the temple. If it is a boy, then he is brought into the altar. At the end of the ritual, the child is applied to one of the icons of the Savior and to the icon of the Mother of God, and then given to the parents.
In addition to the things necessary for the ceremony, the godmother can give the baby an icon with the image of his patron saint, a “measured icon”, a children’s Bible, a prayer book or items that do not have a church focus (clothes, shoes, toys, etc.), and also assist his parents in organizing a festive feast on the occasion of the christening.
We have already told you what the godmother has to know and do during the baptism ceremony of the child. But your mission doesn't end there. As already mentioned, you will need to be involved in the life of your godson and beyond.
You will attend church with your child if his parents are unable to do so due to illness or absence. You will need to promote the spiritual growth of your godson, give him advice in difficult life situations. In a word, take care of him along with his parents, because now you are responsible for the new member christian church before God.
It is more useful for the godfather and godmother to begin preparing for the Sacrament of Baptism long before the sacrament itself. First of all, this preparation consists of studying the Holy Scriptures, the foundations of the Orthodox faith and the main rules of Christian piety.Formally, the godfather does not have to fast, confess and receive communion before the sacrament, however, if you are a believer and are connected to the Church not only by your own baptism, then most likely you adhere to these rules constantly, and it will not be difficult for you to confess and receive communion in advance.
Once you have agreed to become a godfather, do not delay direct training to the sacrament on the back burner. First of all, visit the temple in which it was decided to baptize the baby. The priest who will baptize the baby will conduct an interview with you before Baptism and tell you what you need to buy for the Sacrament. This is a baptismal set consisting of a baptismal cross and a baptismal shirt. In addition, you will need a sheet or towel to wrap and dry your baby after immersion in the font. Traditionally, a pectoral cross is bought for a boy by the godfather, and for a girl by the godmother, who also brings a towel. But if only one godfather buys everything you need, it’s okay. In fact, this does not have any special meaning.
The priest, godparents and child are the main participants in the sacrament. The child’s natural parents only observe the sacrament and pray along with those invited.
The duties of the godfather at Baptism include holding the baby in his arms if a boy is baptized. The godmother is standing nearby at this time. If a girl is baptized, then everything happens the other way around. Before performing the sacrament, the priest in white vestments walks around the baptismal or temple, reading three prayers. After this, he asks the godfather and godson to face west and asks the person being baptized several questions. If the person being baptized is an infant, then the godfather answers these questions for him. In addition, during baptism, godparents read the Creed aloud instead of the baby and pronounce vows of renunciation of Satan on his behalf. Try to learn the Creed by heart. It is in any prayer book that you can purchase at any church store. The boy is taken from the font by the godfather, and the girl by the godmother. The second godparent helps dry the baby and put on his baptismal shirt.
The responsibilities of the godmother and godfather, among other things, include the question of what to give the godson for christening.
Responsibilities of a godfather after Baptism
The responsibilities of the godfather, which he assumes in the Sacrament of Baptism, are very serious, so you must clearly understand what is required of you in the future.The godfather is obliged to give spiritual education to your godson, bring to the attention of the child the main canons of the Orthodox faith, teach the child to resort to the saving sacraments of Confession and Communion, help parents in raising and caring for the godson, and bear responsibility for the upbringing and life of the child in the event that something happens to his parents . But, of course, the main responsibility of the godfather is prayer for the godson.
The responsibilities of godparents also include guarding the godson from various temptations and sinful temptations, which pose a particular danger in childhood and adolescence. The godfather, knowing the character, talents and desires of the godson, can help him with the choice of education, future profession and even a spouse.
Remember that the fate of your godson will largely depend on how well you fulfill your duties as a godfather, so a frivolous attitude towards them is simply unacceptable.
Now you understand why you shouldn’t thoughtlessly agree to an invitation to become a godfather, especially if you already have a godson. Think about whether you have enough strength, patience, wisdom and love to cope with such a serious responsibility as the spiritual upbringing of a child.
The godfather must be aware of the responsibility for his duties
Unfortunately, basically the duties of a godfather now boil down to buying a pectoral cross for the future godson, paying for the sacrament, drinking to the godson’s happiness and saying goodbye to him until an unknown date, regularly marking his godfatherhood with toys or a bill in an envelope. However, for the Orthodox Church the duties of a godfather are not at all like that.In the Sacrament, instead of the baby, you renounce the devil, his pride and his service, and express your complete readiness to marry Christ for the baby. Try to raise your child in such a way that you yourself will not be ashamed of your guarantee in the future.
Remember that there is no responsibility higher, more sacred or more terrible than those you impose upon yourself by becoming a godfather. Of course, it is difficult to lead others along the difficult path of life if you yourself are constantly stumbling, but this must be done because you yourself agreed, took on this and are now endlessly responsible for the one you vouched for.
You might think that such responsibilities and to my own father not able to fulfill. But that is precisely why the Church gave you to help him. You must help each other in the difficult task of raising a child. In addition, you, as a godfather, are obliged to monitor even the baby’s natural parents. Remember, there are so many families in which parents do not care at all about the spiritual and moral upbringing of the child. There are so many dads who don’t consider it their responsibility to raise a child. There are so many mothers who give their children to nannies so as not to burden their lives and not give up their usual pleasures. This is where your field of spiritual activity as a godfather lies. It is here that you must take the floor and remind the father of his family duty to raise and teach his baby, and remind the mother, burdened by maternal responsibilities, of her duty.
If it seems to you that these tasks are very difficult and impossible, then think about the hallowed dignity of the title of godfather and the activity that gives you the right to be an earthly guardian angel little man; think about what blessings the Heavenly Father prepares for those who teach and educate a person in the Love of God.
In addition, for you personally, the activities of your godfather will not be useless. If you understand the need for the spiritual education of your godson, but you yourself are not very strong in this science, then, by all means, study it yourself together with your child.
If you yourself do not often attend church, then now, no, no, go with your child. If you like to chat or discuss someone's actions, then you will have to think a hundred times before saying something, because your little godson or goddaughter is spinning around you. It’s both pleasant for you and good for the child.
Now, if God has brought or will lead you to become a godfather for someone, then you will agree to this not headlong, but having thought it over and prepared for everything thoroughly, and you will become a true godfather for your godson.
Christening is a fateful event for every child and parents. This is the acquisition of spiritual peace, integrity of spirit, God's reliable protection of a person. In addition, the baby has second parents who are always ready to provide help and assistance. The responsibilities of a godmother are especially valuable in later life.
Godmother
Before agreeing to baptize a child, a woman must accept the great responsibility placed on her shoulders. It is important to understand what it means to be a godfather, and not to superficially follow the traditions of Orthodoxy. It is imperative to choose a suitable candidate with faith in your heart and full responsibility. This could be a relative or friend, not necessarily married, but a believer and an exemplary one. If she is not baptized, it is important to be baptized before the fateful day for the baby and be sure to receive communion.
Responsibilities of a Godmother
You should not conduct an interview or casting for the role of second parents. You just need to draw a conclusion about the attitude of the applicants towards God, the people around them and all living things. If the baby’s mother thinks that godparents should only buy a cross and a kryzhma, and then participate in the church sacrament, and that’s where participation in the fate of the new person ends, then she is very mistaken. Spiritual education and development of a child is what a godmother should be able to do throughout her life. IN in this case We are talking about the following responsibilities of godparents:
- Be with the child all the time, help with difficult situations.
- Teach prayers and simply talk about God, his role in the life of every person, and attend church together.
- Every year, congratulate you on your birthday and give gifts on Angel’s Day.
- Take communion regularly, involve your godson/goddaughter in the ritual.
How many times can you be a godfather?
Every Orthodox person can take part in this church rite, an unlimited number of times, if the child’s parents request it. A truthful and informed decision is welcome. Another important question that worries us before the sacrament is who can be godparents, according to church scripture? All believing relatives and friends can take on responsibilities, for example, an older brother, sister, girlfriend, friend, grandfather, grandmother, even stepfather. Cannot be godparents:
- non-believers;
- church ministers;
- people of other faiths;
- unbaptized;
- mentally unstable people;
- biological parents.
Baptism of a child - rules for the godmother
The baptismal towel and clothes are made or purchased by the future godmother, and this is an obligatory stage of preparation for the upcoming sacrament. In addition, a woman must first receive communion and confession; on the day of christening, she must have a cross on her chest. There are other rules for baptizing a child in Orthodox Church, which are important to include in the ritual.
Girl's christening - rules for the godmother
It is important for a girl to have a spiritual mother, since she is the first, after the child’s mother and father, to be responsible for him. It is one thing to baptize a baby, and quite another to become a support, support, and spiritual mentor in life for a growing person. The responsibilities of the godmother at the baptism of a girl are as follows:
- Before the sacrament begins, read by heart prayers for the child, including the “Creed.”
- Dress modestly for christenings long dress, tie a scarf around your head.
- Take your goddaughter in your arms after immersion in the font, dress her in clothes white.
- Hold your goddaughter in your arms while walking around the font behind the priests, while reading prayers, and the procession of anointing.
Boy's christening - rules for godmother
During the christening of a boy, an important role is played not only by the godmother, but also by the father, who in the future will provide him with spiritual support in everything. The main responsibilities of a godmother during a boy’s baptism are identical to those during church rite girls. The only difference is the following: after immersion in the font, the baby is picked up by the godfather; The priest also carries baptized boys behind the altar.
Prayer for the baptism of a child for godparents
During the procession, the priest leaves a reminder of what the godparents should do: say out loud three times the prayer “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, answer honestly several traditional questions about faith. Each prayer for godparents at baptism gives a powerful energy charge and helps the child receive grace.
What do you give a girl at christening?
What should the godmother do after the completion of the sacrament? Buy and present your godson or goddaughter with a memorable gift. This is where the problem arises with choosing a suitable present. So what does the godmother give to a girl’s christening?
- silver or gold cross;
- icon of God;
- personal icon of the Guardian Angel;
- silver spoon.
What does the godmother buy for a boy's christening?
For future men, there are also certain requirements for gifts. This one needs to know what is needed for a boy’s christening, so as not to be taken by surprise during the sacrament. Here's what a second mom should do:
- buy a white vest, blanket, towel;
- present a Bible, a personal icon as a gift;
- make another memorable present.
What should a godmother do?
If a woman has her own children, nephews, younger brothers and sisters, she must not forget about her own godchildren. There are a number of beliefs and signs about why godparents are needed. This is what a godmother must do last day life:
- Pray for your godson every day, ask God for a bright path for him.
- Attend church with him, take communion, confess.
- Participate in spiritual formation, growth and development.
- Become a role model in his mind.
- Take full responsibility for the baby if the blood parents die.
Video: what godparents need to know before baptism
For all Orthodox people, baptism is very important event in life, because this is the second birth of a person (spiritual, and the first was physical, when the child was born), the purification of his soul for later life, a kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. A newly enlightened person is absolved of all previous sins. For this reason, the Sacrament of Baptism is necessary for every person who is looking for the meaning of life and salvation.
God-parents
Who are the godparents?
Baptism is a very important sacrament. This is the spiritual birth of a person and the cleansing of his soul from all existing sins. The Church recommends baptizing a child on the eighth or fortieth day after birth. On the eighth day of his life, Jesus himself was dedicated to his Heavenly Father. On the fortieth day, since it is during this period that a woman’s body after childbirth becomes physiologically clean and she is allowed to go to temple, because for small child Mom's presence is necessary.
Naturally, children at this age cannot understand the whole essence of faith; repentance and faith should not be expected from them, and these two conditions are the main ones for union with the Lord God. To do this, the child is assigned godparents, who are subsequently responsible for raising their godson (goddaughter) in the Orthodox spirit. You need to choose godparents very responsibly, because these are the people who will be the second mother and second father for the baby.
How to choose godparents?
You need to choose godparents for your child among people close to you or good friends with whom you regularly maintain contact. These should be people you absolutely trust. Church tradition states that if something happens to the child's biological parents, the godparents take on this role.
Only Orthodox believers who can give an account of their faith can be godparents. For a child, one godparent is usually enough; for a girl, only a godmother is needed, and for a boy, a godfather is needed. But traditionally both are invited to be godfathers. You can choose two, three, four, seven godparents, as you please.
Church norms state that the following cannot become godparents:
- Leah's spouses are the bride and groom, as they are prohibited marital relations between people who are spiritually related.
- Parents of their baby;
- Minors, because they do not have a clear core of faith.
- Nuns and monks;
- Unbaptized people;
- People of other faiths (also non-believers);
- People who participate in various cult sects and organizations;
- Immoral people because their lifestyle does not deserve to be godparents.
- Crazy people, because they are not able to vouch for the child’s faith, and in the future they will not be able to teach him faith.
What happens during baptism?
Most often, baptism takes place in a church, although it is also possible to take place outside it. Usually the duration of the sacrament lasts from thirty minutes to one hour.
The main participants in the sacrament of Baptism are the child, the godparents and the priest. In ancient times, parents could not participate in the sacrament, but in last years The church has begun to be much more tolerant of this. And at the sacrament of baptism, both the mother and father of the child are allowed to be present (after reading a special prayer).
Throughout the entire process, the recipients stand next to the priest, one of them holds the person being baptized in his arms. Before performing the ceremony, the priest walks around the baptismal room in white robes and reads prayers three times. Next, he turns to the godparents and godson with a request to turn their faces to the west, this symbolizes the abode of Satan. The person being baptized is asked some questions. But since he is still very small and cannot speak, Io’s godparents are responsible for him (if the child is an adult and can speak, he answers independently). Questions and answers to them are repeated three times. Then the godparents need to read the Creed. The Creed summarizes the fundamentals of the Christian faith.
The priest sanctifies the oil (oil) and water and the child is anointed with oil as a sign that he has become a full member of the Christian church. The person being baptized is given a name and dipped into sacred water three times. The godparents take the baby from the font into the baptismal swaddling cloth (kryzhma). If a baby is being baptized in the cold season and for some reason it is impossible to completely undress him (for example, the air temperature in the baptism room is very cold), then the baby’s arms and legs should be prepared in advance; they should be bare. If the room is warm, then the child is dipped naked. After immersion in water, the priest performs anointing. He dips the brush into a bowl of myrrh, and the child’s eyes, forehead, ears, nostrils, chest, legs and arms are anointed. With each anointing, the following words are spoken: “Seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit. Amen". Together with the priest, the godparents repeat “Amen.”
When the process of anointing ends, the Gospel and the Apostle are read and, together with these prayers, a small tuft of hair is cut off from the child. As a sign that the child has become a Christian, a cross is placed around his neck. A lock of cut hair is left in the church as a sign of dedication, and symbolizes sacrifice to God. When the baptism ceremony ends, the godparents accept the baby from the hands of the priest. For this reason, godparents are often called godparents. After they accept the child in their arms after completion of the ceremony, they undertake to raise the child in the Orthodox spirit for the rest of his life. Godparents are also responsible for the spiritual education of their godson at the Last Judgment. If it is not possible to see your godson every day, then you should mention them in your prayers.
Responsibilities of godparents
Alas, not all godparents understand the full meaning of their new “position.” It’s very good, of course, to taste your godson and give him gifts on his birthday, Angel’s Day and other holidays. But this is not the main responsibility of godparents. They must care very much for their godson, and this care includes many things.
You need to pray every day for your godson. You need to accustom yourself to turn to God once a day, namely before going to bed. It's not difficult at all. You can ask God for help in raising your children, salvation, health, well-being of relatives and godchildren. It is very important that the child at least from time to time visit the temple with his godparents; they should take him to communion on a church holiday. All godparents give gifts to children, but it will be better if they have a Christian meaning. A children's Bible would be an excellent gift; all the main events of Sacred History are clearly described in it.
Godparents can also help young mothers who do not always find time to care for their child.
What kind of appearance should godparents have?
At the baptismal ceremony, recipients must have consecrated crosses. Traditionally, in church, a woman should have a scarf or scarf covering her head, and a skirt or dress should be below the knee and cover her shoulders. The only exceptions are little girls.
Since baptism lasts long time, it is not recommended to wear shoes on high heels, because most of the time you will need to stand with the baby in your arms. A godmother should not have lipstick on her lips. Regarding men, there are no specific requirements for them appearance no (naturally, it’s better to refrain from wearing shorts, because such clothes won’t look appropriate in a church). When going to church, you need to dress modestly so as not to attract attention to yourself; you need to focus on the ceremony itself.
Preparation for the ceremony
Today, almost everyone baptizes children in churches. Naturally, there are exceptions, for example, if the baby is very sick, then in this case the sacrament can be performed in the hospital or at home. Then you need to provide a separate clean room for the ceremony.
To baptize a child, the first thing you need to do is choose a temple. Visit different churches and ask what the peculiarities of the ceremony are in each of them. It is also worth considering that baptism is not always carried out directly in the temple. Many churches have a baptistery (baptistery). The baptismal room is a separate room located on the territory of the temple, specially adapted for the rite of baptism. If the temple is large, then the ceremony is usually held solemnly and magnificently. And some may like the calm, secluded atmosphere of a small church. Talk to the novices or the priest, they will be able to tell you about all the details of the baptismal ceremony.
How to choose the day of baptism?
There is no church establishment of baptism on the fortieth day after the birth of a child. This is due to the fact that until the fortieth day, a woman who has given birth to a child cannot enter the temple, since at this time she experiences postpartum discharge and infirmities. Before entering the temple, special prayers are read over the woman. But, if you want to baptize a child earlier than forty days or later, then no one can forbid you to do this. Children, at the request of their parents, are often baptized before the fortieth day, especially if the child’s health is in danger. In this case, baptism is performed as a protective rite against all evil spirits.
In ancient times, the holiday of baptism was equated in its significance to the greatest Christian holidays, for example, Easter. But today baptism is family holiday. And now the ritual is allowed to be performed on almost any day, except for such great church holidays like Trinity, Christmas, Easter. Often on such days churches are crowded, so it is recommended to move the day of baptism to another date. You can come to most churches without an appointment. The sacrament of baptism usually begins at 10 am, since the service ends at this time. But in this case, there is a high chance that your child will be baptized with someone else, or you will have to wait a little. It is much more convenient to make a preliminary agreement with the priest who will conduct the ceremony on a specific day and time. In this case, your baby will be baptized in splendid isolation and first. It is very important that the day of baptism did not coincide with the critical day of the godmother, since otherwise she would not be able to be present in the temple.
Preparing godparents for the sacrament
In order for all the rules to be followed, it is necessary to prepare for the ceremony in advance. God-parents On the eve of baptism, they must go to church, confess, repent of all sins, and receive communion. It is very good if the godparents fast before the day of the ceremony, but this is not a mandatory requirement. On the day of the ceremony, godparents are forbidden to have sex and eat food. At least one of the godparents should know the “Symbol of Faith” by heart. According to the rules, the godmother reads the “Creed” at the baptism of a girl, and the godfather at the baptism of a boy.
There is an unspoken rule - all expenses associated with baptism are borne by the godparents. Some churches do not have specific prices; in this case, upon completion of the baptism, invitees and godparents make voluntary donations. The amount of these costs is not discussed anywhere and they are not obligatory. But, as a rule, the custom is respected.
According to church traditions, the child’s godmother buys a “rizka” or kryzhma for baptism. This can be an ordinary towel or a special cloth in which the baby is wrapped when taken from the font. The godmother also gives the baby a baptismal shirt and a cap with ribbons and lace, for girls - with pink, and for boys - with blue. Christening shirt persists throughout a person's life. After the baby is baptized, the kryzhma is not washed, as droplets of the Oil of Peace may remain on it. During the sacrament, the kryzhma is endowed with certain miraculous abilities. If a child is sick, they cover him with kryzhma or use it as a pillowcase for a baby’s pillow.
The godfather gives the child a baptismal cross and a chain. Many people believe that it is best to choose a silver cross, some believe that a gold cross is best, and others are of the opinion that it is best for small children to buy a cross on a string or ribbon, rather than on a chain. It's individual.
What prayers do you need to know?
Every conscientious Christian should know the basic prayers: “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”. During the baptism process, the godparents say the “Creed” prayer for the child. Each of these prayers is in a short prayer book, which can, if desired, be purchased at the church store.
What should you take with you to church for your baby's baptism?
Baptism symbolizes the birth of a person into a sinless state. new life. Godparents, accepting a child from the holy font, accept a completely pure being who does not have a single sin. Such purity is symbolized by clothing - kryzhma, which, together with the cross, is an integral attribute. The kryzhma is usually bought by the child’s godmother, and the cross by the godfather.
For a small child, a white openwork diaper, a baptismal shirt, or a new towel that has not yet been washed can serve as a cover.
Unfortunately, now that more and more women are giving birth to children “for themselves”, without getting married, without creating a family as such, sometimes there is no need to talk about the role of the father at all.
But there are pleasant exceptions, and quite often there are such responsible fathers who not only eagerly wait for the child for all 9 months, not only attend the birth and support their wives, but also gladly take on part of the responsibilities for caring for the newborn.
At the same time, not all men immediately recognize themselves as fathers and plan to take an active part in raising a child when they can play football with their son or go fishing with him.
As a result, the mother, who has not yet recovered from childbirth (sometimes very difficult), bears the entire burden of household chores and child care; she is tired all the time and therefore often gets irritated. Everyone suffers from this: the family, herself, and even the child, because it has been scientifically proven that the child intuitively feels emotional condition mother and seems to be included in it.
You have become a father. What to do?
Psychologists are sure that the first year of a child’s life is the most best time to establish emotional connection with him, because restoring it at a “conscious” age will be much more difficult. It is often recommended to start communicating with your baby during pregnancy.
It has already been scientifically proven that from the 20th week of pregnancy a child can distinguish the voices of his parents. If you can establish emotional contact with the child during his intrauterine life, then later, when he is born, it will be easier for you to understand him and calm his crying.
Very often, young fathers are afraid of harming their newborn when changing a diaper or picking up the baby. There is no need to be afraid of this, because the baby’s musculoskeletal system is very mobile and cannot be damaged by simple movements. But the benefits of such close communication with your baby are enormous! It was also noticed that the father better than mom copes with the child's emotions. In particular, children who are afraid of bathing or injections immediately calm down in the strong hands of a man.
Young Father Course
Very often, after several weeks of serene happiness, a woman begins to experience postpartum depression. She's tired, doesn't get enough sleep, can't wear clothes the same size, and thinks she's terribly fat. Therefore, the most important responsibility, if not duty, on the part of the husband is attention to his wife and help. The young mother herself should not constantly criticize her husband, otherwise he will lose all interest. It is better to give him the opportunity to learn everything on his own: from changing a diaper and swaddling a baby to light tummy massage and bottle feeding.
What should a new father know?
- date of birth, weight and height at birth, and blood type;
- where the policy and birth certificate are kept (if you have to go to the hospital urgently);
- congenital defects (if any), what vaccinations have already been given, are there any allergies to medications or foods.
Anything can happen to the baby, and then you have to go to the hospital, but mom is not at home. Knowing all of the above points will help doctors provide assistance as quickly as possible.
What should a young father be able to do?
- dilute the feeding mixture and pour it into a bottle;
- prepare a bath for bathing and determine the water temperature:
- rock the child to sleep;
- change diaper, wipe wet wipe dirty or chafed areas;
- swaddle if it is customary in the family and the child will not fall asleep otherwise.
Surely, the father will not have to demonstrate all these skills every day, because for the mother it is easier and more familiar, but every father should give her the opportunity to rest, take a nap for half an hour and fully replace the child’s mother.
And on a day off you need to make it a rule to take an hour and a half walk to the fresh air. It’s also good for health, and at this time mom will be able to redo a lot of useful things that have accumulated over the week. Probably, if the child in the family is long-awaited, then the fulfillment of such simple duties by the young father will bring him even closer to his wife and create the basis for the future upbringing of the child.
After all, the family and relationships within it play a huge role in upbringing, and their foundation is laid from the very birth of the child. And then, in just a few years, dad and son will be able to play football and go fishing, in a word, make all his dreams come true.
