It seems to many that a wedding is the conclusion of a union between two loving hearts forever, because they are united by God. But in practice, not everything is so rosy; couples married in church also break up, and here the question of debunking arises church marriage How to go through this ritual?
Divorce of a church marriage
It is logical to assume that if there is a wedding ceremony, then there must also be a debunking of a church marriage. But for us, pragmatic children of the 21st century, such an assumption is logical, but not for the church - there is no rite of debunking. The fact is that the church does not welcome divorce at all, and therefore there cannot be any rituals to break sacred bonds - the family is not a toy for you, you had fun, but when you got tired of it, you threw it away. But Orthodox Church nevertheless, he treats the sinful souls of the parishioners with understanding and allows re-weddings, although he does not approve of the back and forth between husbands. The only case of remarriage that is less condemned by the church is the situation when ex-spouse died. In this case, entering into a new marriage is permitted by church canons.
A couple who wants to get married again must submit a petition for dissolution (not debunking) of a church marriage. This petition is submitted to the regional Diocesan administration after the certificate of the new marriage is in your hands. You will also need a passport and a certificate of divorce from a previous marriage concluded under secular laws. Only one of the former spouses can file a petition for re-wedding; the presence of both is not considered mandatory. The priest does not have the right to allow a second wedding in the church. As soon as you have received permission to get married again, you can go to any temple to perform the wedding sacrament. True, the re-wedding procedure itself will be somewhat different. So, if both spouses are getting married a second time, then the wedding is performed in a “second order,” that is, crowns are not laid, but if one of the future spouses has not been married before, then the ceremony takes place in full form.
But it is not enough to know how to dissolve a church marriage; you need to know that this will not happen in any case. Church legislation has a list of reasons for divorce, and as you understand, the column “did not get along” is not there. So for what reason is a church marriage dissolved?
Reasons for the dissolution of a church marriage
The Church considers divorce possible if it occurs for the following reasons:
Permission to remarry is granted to those who are not to blame for the breakdown of the family. But the one whose soul is responsible for the breakup of the relationship will be able to obtain permission to remarry only after repentance and fulfillment of penance. They can get married 3 times in total, and if they get married a third time, the punishments will be more noticeable.
We live in a time of global impoverishment of love, faith and patience, when family values are no longer perceived by modern corrupt people as an absolute and inviolable shrine. Unfortunately, not everything is so smooth in the homes of believers. Lately, we periodically hear that yet another couple married in a church has divorced.
Through the efforts of our author Maria Sarajishvili, we collected 5 such stories and asked another regular author of the portal, priest Pavel Gumerov, to comment on them.
Maria Sarajishvili
FIVE SAD STORIES
"All happy families look alike
each unhappy family unhappy in her own way"
L.N. Tolstoy
Instead of a preface
Angela (Moscow): “...Before the second wedding, my mother was simply read some kind of prayer of permission. And on the same day I married my second husband.”
Earlier it was believed that once you got married, that was it, there was no turning back
Simple and easy. Twenty years ago it was believed that getting a church certificate was the most difficult thing, impossible without special reasons. Few of the parishioners really knew these reasons, and it was believed that once they got married, that was it, there was no turning back.
And the real reasons for the dissolution of the church marriage were as follows. According to According to the definition of the Local Council of 1917-1918, the reasons for divorce in the Russian Orthodox Church can be:
- Falling away from Orthodoxy (the right to ask the court for a divorce belongs to the spouse who remains in Orthodoxy).
- Adultery and unnatural vices.
- Incapacity for marital cohabitation (if it began before marriage and is not due to old age; the case is initiated no earlier than two years from the date of marriage; if the incapacity resulted from intentional bodily injury after marriage, divorce is permitted).
- Disease of leprosy or syphilis.
- Unknown absence (at least three years; two years - if the missing spouse was at war or sailed on a ship).
- The sentencing of one of the spouses to punishment, coupled with the deprivation of all rights of the estate.
- Encroachment on the life and health of a spouse or children (causing serious injury, or serious, life-threatening beatings, or harm important to health).
- Snitching, pandering and benefiting from the indecency of a spouse.
- Entry of one of the spouses into a new marriage.
- An incurable serious mental illness that eliminates the possibility of continuing marriage.
- Malicious abandonment of a spouse by the other spouse if it makes it impossible to continue the marriage.
According to the Basics social concept Russian Orthodox Church “currently, this list of grounds for divorce is supplemented by such reasons as AIDS, medically certified chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, and a wife committing an abortion with her husband’s disagreement” (Article 10.3).
Now life has become faster, and people are much more informed than before. And the situation with divorces has become much easier.
In front of me is a printed form with the following content: “So-and-so (F.I. written by hand) gives consent to so-and-so (F.I. in words) to marry a second time.” This is a church divorce. Below the short lines there is space for a signature and date. The form says nothing about children and fatherhood. Then the interested party must take the wedding certificate and this receipt to the Patriarchate. There they will put a seal, the papers will be handed over to the archives, and the union sanctified by God will be considered dissolved. A prayer of permission will be read for those who wish to enter into a second marriage. And you can immediately get married a second time.
The Constitution of Georgia recognizes church wedding, but in case of divorce, only those who were officially married have the right to divide property. Children born in a church marriage without official registration receive the mother's surname and have no right to the father's property unless he wishes it.
Apparently, church divorces have reached such a number today that the Patriarchate was forced to prepare appropriate forms. What can you do, divorces are the spirit of the times.
Every day a video is broadcast on TV with the call: “Fathers, remember your children!” Then there are dry lines of statistics for Georgia: “Every third father does not pay child support, every fifth is wanted.” This is only official data, and, as you know, many couples break up before they even reach the registry office. Moreover, all this is happening against the background of the fact that, as Archpriest George (Doreuli) says, “today nine out of ten people will say that they have their own confessor, and on holidays churches and monasteries cannot accommodate believers” (Karibche Magazine No. 6, 2011 .).
Quite a lot has been written about why there is now a pan-epidemic of divorce in the world. It is more interesting to analyze the divorces of church people, initially armed with the teachings of the Holy Fathers on how to deal with passions and rebellious flesh.
Story one
When 18-year-old Tengo and 32-year-old Eka - neighbors on the landing - began to travel to holy places, their mothers only rejoiced. Together, it is not dangerous and spiritually beneficial. The pilgrims returned home with enthusiastic stories. In Mtskheta we met an elder, in Shiomgvim we met a young monk, and so on... We went, of course, taking a blessing from our confessors.
The pilgrims confronted their parents with a fact: “We have just come from Svetitskhoveli. They got married there. We'll have a baby soon."
One fine day, the pilgrims confronted their parents with a fact: “We have just come from Svetitskhoveli. They got married there. We'll have a baby soon."
It’s easy to imagine what started here! Both mothers began to accuse the opposite side of seducing their child.
They shouted, made some noise, and then calmed down. Eka went to live with Tengo on rights legal wife. Soon a boy was born. After forty days, guests began to arrive with congratulations. Tengo's friends sympathized with him from the bottom of their hearts.
You're missing, brother.
Look at you and her...
And everything in the same spirit.
And the difference was really striking. Tall, athletically built Tengo with the face of a film actor and next to him is short, plump Eka with the most ordinary appearance.
As you know, water wears away stones. Tengo left home nervously. He began to temporarily live with a friend. Eka had to return to her apartment opposite, to her original position. The marriage broke up...
Tengo has been living in Russia for a long time, is successfully married, and has children. Eka still lives in the same building. He runs into his ex-mother-in-law on the stairs. My son is finishing school. The grandmother helps her grandson as much as she can. Still, native blood...
Story two
After the wedding, Koba and Tekle, glowing with joy, publicly shared their plans with those congratulating them.
We want us to have a real Christian marriage. We will give birth as many as God gives.
The parishioners nodded approvingly, exchanging comments about the external similarity of the newlyweds.
They look good together.
Koba a serious guy. What a school of life I went through! Out of him good father it will work out.
Koba is a refugee from Abkhazia, who managed to drink through war, and, however, eligible bachelor. Started a business from scratch in Tbilisi, opened sports section for boys, bought an apartment, now decided to get married. And most importantly, an active believer. Every Sunday he brings all his charges to the service, and on their knees they chant in unison “Mamao chveno” ( “Our Father” in Georgian - Note ed. ), so much so that the glass shakes. With boys he is strict, but fair. They listen to him right away.
Tekle is humble, you won’t hear too much. Like a shadow follows his bearded, stern husband.
And the general parish opinion delivered an encouraging verdict.
Everything will be fine for them.
A year later, their boy was born. Then - the second one. Every Sunday, hand in hand with his wife, Koba brought the kids to the Chalice. He also served as needed. A year later, a daughter was born. Outwardly everything was the same. Only Tekle had a kind of exhausted, disconnected look. One servant of God, looking sideways at the family, remarked:
Tekle, apparently, has reached the end of her rope. Having a baby every year, what kind of body can handle it? Where are Koba's eyes? We need to give a person rest.
Koba at that moment was scolding in rather harsh terms some boy who, upon entering the church, casually crossed himself.
It must be hard to live with him,” the observer continued. - Commanding in the army is good, but in the family the main thing is compromise.
Another year has passed. Koba's fourth child was born. Everything went as usual. Then suddenly a rumor spread: they separated. No one really knew the reason, only speculation. Moreover, all four children remained with their father.
This news gave rise to a lot of gossip, the general meaning of which was in one phrase: “And what was she missing?” The question remained unanswered. Then followed a church divorce in the Patriarchate according to all the rules.
This was about 10 years ago. Koba is still serving at the altar. His children have grown up. He did not marry the second time. What happened to Tekle is unknown. She never came to church again.
Story three
Towards Kostya, who had just been released from prison, the attitude in the parish was in advance condescending and compassionate: “Who doesn’t it happen to?” He was perceived not just as Kostya, but, first of all, as the son of the singer Irina. Sociable, cheerful, despite her limp, she traveled to services from Rustavi. If only, as she said, “sing to the Lord.” With all this, Irina was an Orthodox walking encyclopedia. She lived on a pension of 14 lari (this was under Shevardnadze) and alms collected in her mug.
Soon good news spread: Kostya was getting married on Sunday. Irina never tired of telling all the details to all her sympathizers.
The bride's confessor refuses to marry them. He says that Kostya was imprisoned, and now he is without work and without a home. Let life improve first, then get married
So lucky, so lucky! God sent a believing girl! It was probably our priests who begged me for consolation. ... They fell in love with each other at first sight. There’s just one problem: her confessor refuses to marry them. He says that Kostya was imprisoned several times, and now he is without work and without a home. Let him improve his life first, then get married. And who has it, this job? Half of Georgia is now unemployed. In general, without seeing, he disliked my son. Forgive him, Lord! Priests make mistakes too. My boy has a heart of gold. He loves her two daughters as if they were his own.
The listeners sighed sympathetically and offered their options.
As a result, we decided to get married with another priest and start new life on the territory of the newlyweds.
After the wedding, Kostya and Lena set a small table for several parishioners to celebrate the significant day. At first we went to services together. Then more apart. This also did not surprise anyone. Lena has a flexible schedule - she cleans “when called.” Kostya seems to have settled down to sell icons. Something went wrong with his work. He gave up one thing and took up another. And in the end it turned out that he was hanging on Lena’s neck.
Six months later they separated and did not appear in church again.
Story four
Lyudmila (Moscow):
I got married twice. I believe that there can be no divorce, and now I have two husbands. And then God will ask for both. I returned to my first husband after 15 years. This did not bring me female happiness. And it is unknown how it will end. A wedding is not only a ceremony, but also a Sacrament. It cannot be removed by someone's signature. And, like baptism, it has no retroactive effect. The second wedding is like a second baptism - just an extra cross. So it turns out that I am a harlot.
I struggle with my misogyny in every possible way. Yes, they are all selfish. This is the time now. But we must not offend them even in our thoughts. Otherwise my son will be insulted by my daughter-in-law. And I don't want that...
Story five
Here is another program from the “Ex-Wives Club” series with a story on the same topic.
40-year-old Nugzar, who lived in the monastery for five years, returned to the world. Soon he met 38-year-old Inga. The mutual sympathy that arose between them was so strong that both, at the very first meeting, began to tell each other their past lives. Here we found a lot in common: the first unsuccessful marriage, disappointment in people and timid hope for a better future.
Inga Nugzar won over with his churchliness and knowledge of the Holy Fathers. This quality played a decisive role, and after the third date they decided to get married. Inga was not embarrassed that Nugzar did not have his own apartment, that he and his mother lived with his aunt. Material wealth is a matter of gain, the main thing is the person himself. After the wedding, they sold Inga’s apartment in Tbilisi and bought a house in the village, which the head of the family immediately registered in his name. Which also did not arouse suspicion in Inga, but how could it be otherwise? Soon scandals, jealousy, Nugzar's drunkenness and, as a consequence, beatings began. Inga endured, hoping that the birth of the expected child would change everything. Alas, little Barbara only worsened the situation, adding more financial problems to her non-working parents. The situation became tense, and Inga and the child had to go to a shelter for victims family troubles and from there fight for your rights. Nugzar and his mother remained in the living space they had won, not caring at all about the fate of their own daughter and granddaughter.
And there are many such stories.
And again the statistics. Every year, 3,900 children in Georgia are discharged from the maternity hospital with their mother's last name. A law was recently passed to protect the interests of such children born in unregistered marriages. Now a woman has the right through the court to demand establishment of paternity, and then payment of alimony if the DNA test turns out to be positive. The cost of the analysis (2000 GEL) in case of confirmation of paternity must be paid by the accused party. But the law does not consider cases where the father is chronically unemployed and does not have any real estate. And there are a lot of them too.
Maybe it’s worth giving some kind of trial period to those who want to get married, something like several months, so that people can decide how serious this relationship is. And during a church divorce, the problems of each married couple should be considered in detail.
COMMENTARY BY PRIEST PAVL GUMEROV,
rector of the temple under construction
in honor of Saints Peter and Fevronia of Murom in Maryino,
author of many books and articles about family life and raising children
All the above facts and stories in the material are very sad and are an illustration of the words of the Savior: “Because iniquity increases, the love of many will grow cold” (Matthew 24:12).
I have already spoken out on the topic of divorce in the church environment more than once, including on the pages of the portal, so I apologize in advance if I repeat myself. The author of the material on divorce (like all of us, by the way) is very concerned that Orthodox families, which twenty-five years ago set an example of strength and marital harmony, are now also undergoing a considerable crisis. I didn’t even imagine that in Georgia, a country where there have always been strong family foundations and values, everything is also very unfavorable. AND Russian Federation, and Georgia were once part of a single great country, where, despite an atheistic upbringing, people understood that family is a great value, it must be created with full responsibility and cherished throughout life. The state also pursued a pro-family policy. Family values were promoted, the family was provided with support and assistance. Divorce, on the contrary, was condemned. If people did get divorced, it was published in the newspaper, they could have troubles at work, and, in general, most of society condemned divorces.
It is very difficult for young people whose childhood was in a timeless period to build a family
We all know very well what happened after that. State, family, and moral foundations collapsed. Both here and in Georgia. The state has no time for the family. People have ceased to see family as the highest value. All this was aggravated by complete permissiveness and moral degradation. Everyone also remembers what was shown on TV, what was sold in stalls, what songs they listened to, what films they watched and filmed in the 90s. The number of divorces, broken families, and street children was simply off the charts. But the saddest thing is that young people, whose childhood and adolescence were in a timeless period, are now finding it very difficult to create and build their own family. Most of them grew up in single-parent families (in complete families, parents also had no time for raising children, they just needed to survive), the children tasted the poisonous fruits of promiscuity and debauchery very early on. They saw very few examples of happy, strong families. Many, in general, have lost faith that family happiness is possible. Many people have the misconception that they can live without a family. It was then that the general fashion was established.
This trouble, of course, also affected Orthodox children and teenagers. Moreover, they do not live in isolation: everyone has TV, radio, and the Internet. Therefore, conflicts also occur in Orthodox families, family crises and divorces. But not because Christian family and moral values are outdated and no longer work, but because we have changed. We have succumbed to the spirit of the times, we don’t want to work on ourselves, work on our family life. If the Church simply tightens measures and makes church divorce a very difficult act, I think this will achieve nothing. Christian marriage (both now and in pre-revolutionary times) has two sides: spiritual and civil, legal. One does not exist without the other. Before the revolution, the Church dealt with both marriages and divorces. Now it is a state. We cannot refuse to give a person a divorce if his marriage, both de facto and de jure, no longer exists. Yes, there are countries, for example Italy, where it is very difficult to obtain a church divorce, but there it is also very difficult to obtain a secular divorce. Divorce proceedings Sometimes they go there for 5, 10 years.
I believe that for a Christian not to preserve an unmarried marriage is the same sin as to dissolve a union blessed in the church. After all, now there is a whole category of Orthodox people who, having registered a marriage, are in no hurry to get married. They live as if in a trial marriage, thinking that if they divorce now, they will commit a lesser sin than if they separate after the wedding. And, of course, such half-hearted, insincere relationships do not add strength to their union. This is all complete hypocrisy. After all, when the canons and rules about marriage were written, when families were created in pre-revolutionary Russia, they could not be anything other than married.
Male infantilism and irresponsibility are an alarming symptom of our time
Now a little about specific examples given in this material. Of course, it is difficult to draw any conclusions based on such brief information, but you can pay attention to several points. Some of the guys in the stories above married (or wanted to marry) much older women. Some did not want to work and feed their families. This is a very bright and characteristic touch. Male infantilism and irresponsibility are an alarming symptom of our time. A huge number of young people were raised by single mothers, who often fed, watered, pampered them, and solved all their problems for them. Often such a young man then looks for a new “mommy”, sometimes older than himself. In his mother’s family, he not only did not see a working man, but he himself was often freed from all work loads. It is quite natural that this continues in a new, own family.
Women lost shame and dignity and became very accessible. And it also destroys the family
Another reason for the fragility of modern, even church marriages is that future spouses begin creating a family with a very serious mistake, commit a great sin when they begin to live a carnal life together even before marriage. Remember, in the first story: Tengo and Eka arrived from a trip and confronted their parents with the fact that they got married and were soon expecting a child. That is, as they say, they got married to catch up. A person who allows himself fornication before marriage will find it very difficult to remain faithful to his soul mate. This is a common problem that affects not only the male sex. Women lost shame and dignity and became very accessible. And this also destroys the family and pushes young people to commit sins before marriage and betrayal in family life.
But still, in conclusion, I would like to say that despite the frequent examples of all kinds of family problems and even divorces, including those listed here, the situation in church families is much better than in others. I was often approached by different people and different married couples in difficult family situations. So, in the overwhelming majority of cases, these were non-church people, or little churchgoers. Yes, and Orthodox families are overwhelmed by the waves of the sea of life, yes, and they are sucked in by the spirit of this age. But this does not mean that modern Orthodox family is no longer any different from the non-church.
For the sake of objectivity, let's turn to statistics. In Russia, for every 100 marriages, more than 50 divorces are registered. 80% of husbands, at least sometimes, cheat on their wives, 40% of children are born outside the family, more than 5 thousand mothers abandon their children in maternity hospitals every year, more than 4 million are born annually. Do you think this is all said about Orthodox, church-going people?
I think that we, modern Christians, despite any pressure and corrupting influence from the outside, need to constantly remember: who we are and what the Lord expects from us. We have been given a lot, but a lot will be asked of us. We must not give in to passions, not make excuses by saying that we live, they say, in difficult, corrupt times. And at what time, tell me, did the first Christians live, did the martyrs of the first three centuries live? They maintained faith and morality!
The most important thing is not to be lukewarm and lazy, then everything will work out and you will be able, with God’s help, to improve your family life and find family happiness.
The wedding ceremony is inherently a very beautiful and incredibly solemn ceremony. Icons, along with candles, sacred prayers and all other attributes are increasingly attracting interest and are increasingly attracting children who have firmly decided to unite themselves by marriage. Often many people simply chase stunning photographs, interesting impressions, beautiful video footage, without understanding the full responsibility. Appearing before the altar is a sacrament that should only be performed by people who believe and are completely confident in themselves and their chosen one. Nowadays, church marriage has gradually begun to turn into a fashionable ritual, and after a divorce, questions arise like “is it possible to debunk a church marriage” and whether it will be possible to obtain the consent of the church in the future.
What can you do, the family boat could not stand it and crashed into everyday life. Of course, there are a huge number of reasons for divorce, but in this case the important consequence is that people who once loved each other decided to separate forever. Although it seemed like only yesterday they were in full swing preparing for the wedding celebration, on their wedding day they were the happiest on the planet and boldly took the oath of fidelity in church.
Now this issue is gaining relevance at a crazy pace. The main reason for this trend is not at all the increased number of divorces, but the fact that with the new fashion, newlyweds, immediately after completing registration at the registry office, run as hard as they can to church for the wedding ceremony. At the same time, not many people think about the fact that church marriage, in its essence, has always been and remains to this day a very responsible sacrament. All guys, without exception, should think a dozen times before deciding on it. It is always necessary to remember that your union is blessed in heaven and is eternal, so you should not hope for a quick dethronement in the temple. At least that's what the oath sounds like.
In the event of a wedding ceremony, the church marriage is also debunked. But this seems logical only to us, residents of the 21st century. For the church itself, the process of debunking, as it turns out, does not exist. The reason for this incident lies primarily in her negative attitude towards divorce itself, due to which there is simply no such thing as a “severance of sacred bonds”. In any temple they will tell you that family is not a game that you were interested in for some time, and after you got tired of it, you decided to leave it and get a divorce. However, the Orthodox Church is more lenient towards the sinful souls of its parishioners and from time to time allows the process of re-wedding, without ceasing to reproach them for tossing between wives or husbands. The only case when the church will not prevent you from coming to the altar again is the death of your married spouse.
A couple who has expressed a desire to reunite their bonds in heaven must submit an appropriate application for dissolution of a church marriage using a special form. This kind of application must be sent to the Diocese office immediately after receiving a new marriage certificate. Make sure you have your divorce document and passport with you at this moment. It should also be remembered that you can submit a petition using the above sample, and it is not at all necessary for both to be present.
Remember: the priest cannot personally allow you to get married again after a secular divorce. But immediately after receiving official permission from the diocese, usually several weeks pass before this, you need to boldly go to the temple of your choice to perform this sacrament. At the same time, the procedure will differ from the original one. If both spouses undergo the ceremony not for the first time, then the wedding will be performed in the “second order”, i.e. no crowns will be placed on you. If only one of the spouses was at the altar before, then the ceremony is carried out according to all the original rules.
In fact, many people forget that it is not enough to get a divorce and know the methods that allow you to carry out the procedure for dissolving a church marriage. You should always be aware of the possibility of a refusal. The church has a whole list of reasons according to which a marriage can be dissolved and, as you probably already guessed, the column “they just didn’t get along” is not there.
Reasons for termination
As mentioned above, such a ritual is possible for several reasons, established back in 1918. These include the following:
- Adultery is rightfully considered one of the most significant reasons.
- Departure from Orthodox faith or adoption by one of the spouses of any other faith
- Entry into a second marriage by one of the spouses or both at once.
- Impossibility life together in view of self-mutilation of a husband or wife.
- The presence of serious diseases such as syphilis, leprosy, etc.
- Long-term (more than five years) absence of one of the partners (missing people).
- Attack on the life of a family member.
- Snitching and pimping.
- Discovery of an incurable mental illness, as a result of which the partner cannot be responsible for his actions.
- Conviction and imprisonment of one of the partners.
- Infertility.
- Lack of legal grounds for marriage, including the presence of other spouses or an alliance between close relatives.
However, in modern world life is developing so rapidly that in 2000 the church had to revise this list a little and add a few more items that allow for debunking in the church. From that moment on, the following reasons can be considered sufficient grounds for debunking after a regular divorce:
- Alcoholism, drug addiction or AIDS infection, which were confirmed by a special medical report.
- An abortion performed without the consent of the husband. In this case, exceptions are situations where there were medical indications or pregnancy could further pose a threat to the life of the expectant mother.
At its core, a church divorce and the process of debunking itself are fundamentally different from its secular counterpart, in which case no one will stop you from getting a divorce. Debunking in the church and its main goal is to bless the second marriage due to the recognition of the previous one as non-Christian or without grace. Sometimes a third marriage in the church is allowed, however, all subsequent unions and divorces in the church will be considered a rather serious sin. In this case, only the partner who was innocent in previous divorces will be able to obtain the right to re-marry. The person whose actions caused the destruction of the family will first have to repent and perform penance, the duration and nature of which is almost impossible to predict.
Many people forget that in addition to the need to get a divorce, they now face a debunking procedure. However, for true believers this issue receives maximum priority. Some at this moment feel dependent on their ex-husband or wife until this procedure occurs. Moreover, in the future, when creating new family Very serious problems can arise if this issue is neglected.
Debunking procedure and individual approach
Remember: each church divorce is inherently very individual and requires a special approach. Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all regulation for the debunking process. In the event that one of your friends or relatives managed to get dethroned in the church in the past and, accordingly, received the blessing of a new marriage, this does not at all mean the success of your idea. Even many priests are different different opinions and attitude towards this delicate issue. Correct advice You can only find out how to proceed in the regional diocese. You should also immediately prepare for the fact that almost from the very beginning they will try to reconcile you, try to put you on the right path, convincing you of the eternity and inviolability of sacred church bonds.
Many also ask the question “what to do with wedding attributes?” As you know, after a wedding, newlyweds can most often find icons and even wedding candles, which in most families are customary to carefully store and honor them as family heirlooms. But, as soon as the debunking has set in, some people feel uneasy about keeping these things in the house. In this case, the clergy recommend not to bother your head with mystical or even superstitious ideas regarding wedding items. According to them, no icons are capable of bringing grief into the house, and candles can either be burned independently or lit in the temple. If you are superstitious, then simply do not pass them on to anyone else.
The rite of debunking - how to move on?
Remember, if all your efforts to save family hearth were not successful and you left your married spouse, you should begin to seek salvation in prayer. Pray often that God will give you a worthy partner. Only then will you be able to meet a person with whom you will find happiness again and be able to start a new happy life. Always try to analyze all your past mistakes as carefully as possible so as not to repeat them again. Try to be more patient with the shortcomings of your new married husband or wife and keep love in your heart. In this case, you will be able to carry this feeling through the years and you will not have to think about debunking again.
It is always necessary to be soberly aware of the degree of seriousness of the wedding sacrament. Non-believers should also not perform a ritual in which they cannot fully believe. At the moment when the guys came to the temple and asked to organize a ceremony, the priest would definitely have a long conversation with them, thus determining the degree of their faith, baptism and willingness to honor each other and remain faithful in a church marriage. Also, it is in the temple that young people will be able to learn all the information about both the ritual itself and the unique process of preparing for it.
In fact, not everyone is ready to undergo a wedding ceremony, so before doing so, it is recommended to think carefully about everything and carefully analyze it several times. Try to listen to yourself - do you feel inside the desire and need to enter into a family union in the church, is it worth burdening both yourself and your partner with additional obligations, because a married marriage in the future may turn out to be the heaviest burden if family life it didn’t work out, and your joint boat sprung a leak.
After the breakup of a marriage in heaven, life does not end at all. Many in the future will definitely find their soul mate again, with whom they will gladly unite their destiny.
Video on the topic
How does a church marriage get debunked? Under what conditions can an Orthodox person divorce his ex-spouse? Does such a church ritual exist? Let's talk!
Is it possible to get married in church after a divorce and is it necessary, possible reasons
If irreconcilable differences nevertheless arose between the spouses and it was decided to divorce, then it is necessary to contact the registry office, where the formal procedure for divorce will be completed.
A church marriage is not concluded on paper, but before God; it is before him that the spouses are responsible for their family life.
For the church, as an institution, the concept of “debunking” does not exist, since it denies the very concept of divorce, putting the family first.
To be debunked means to enter into a new marriage in heaven, to get married again.
Here good video about civil marriage and debunking.
True, if you come to church and say that you want to get married or remarry out of boredom, you may be refused. The Church considers some specific reasons for divorce to be quite significant:
- Cheating on one of the spouses,
- An abortion performed by a wife without the consent of her husband, without medical necessity,
- Change of faith by one of the spouses,
- Inability to married life, and as a consequence to procreation, loss of legal capacity of the husband or wife,
- Diseases that threaten the health of unborn children (AIDS, syphilis and others),
- Entry of a husband or wife into another marriage,
- Alcoholism and drug addiction of one of the spouses,
- The risk of damage to the health of one of the spouses to the other,
- Pimping,
- Long-term absence of one of the partners,
- Inconsistency with Christian canons: marriage between relatives, marriage before reaching adulthood.
Thus, you yourself can answer the question of whether the first marriage needs to be debunked. It is possible only through a second church marriage. Whether this can be done depends on the reasons given above.
The procedure for debunking a church marriage
As mentioned above, there is no specific procedure for divorce in the church; the church can only bless a person for remarriage, hereinafter we will call this debunking.
The Orthodox Church allows the re-wedding of people who have already been married, and for this it will be necessary to contact the Diocesan Administration. So, how to properly debunk?
- A petition must be submitted to the bishop, enclosing Required documents and wait for an answer.
- You will have to undergo an interview with a priest who will want to know the reasons that prompted you to divorce. Remember that if the reason is not valid for the church, you may be denied a second wedding.
- If you receive a blessing, you can get married again in any temple of your choice.
Ritual of debunking in the Orthodox Church
The process of dissolution is re-marrying in a second marriage with another person with whom you previously entered into a marital relationship.
The wedding will take place the second time in the same way as the first, with the only difference being that there will be no crowns placed on the heads of the spouses.
A crown can only be laid on someone who is getting married for the first time. Otherwise, all the subtleties of the ritual are preserved in their original form.
How to get divorced after divorce
After a divorce in the registry office or in court, it is impossible to go through the divorce process in the church; no one will give you a document confirming that you are no longer connected before God with your ex-spouse.
For a divorce by worldly standards, only a certificate from the deeds department is enough civil status, dissolution of the church union is possible only through a second wedding.
Worldly reasons are not always considered good enough grounds for divorce, that is, if you do not have common interests with your spouse, the problems are related to finances, then be prepared for the church to condemn your divorce. A second marriage is permitted to the spouse who is innocent of the dissolution of the first marriage. Remarriage for those guilty of adultery is permitted only after fulfilling the penance imposed on him by the church.
Is it possible to get married without the consent of the husband or wife?
Since such a procedure as debunking does not actually exist, but there is only a blessing for a second wedding, then come with ex-husband or ex-wife not required.
For a second church marriage, only the presence of you and your new chosen one is required; the former spouse is not required to be present at the second wedding.
What you need: what documents, where to apply, how much to pay and wait
If you decide to dissolve your previous union and remarry and go through the wedding procedure a second time, then you will need the following list of documents to correctly submit your petition:
- Passport,
- Certificate of divorce from first marriage,
- Church marriage certificate,
- If the divorce occurs due to the fact that the spouse has lost his legal capacity or is sick with an incurable disease, then medical documents confirming this must be provided, as well as a death certificate if the first spouse has died.
Along with these documents, you must submit a request to the Diocese for permission to perform a second wedding ceremony. Sometimes a petition for debunking is filed instead. Oddly enough, despite the absence of such a concept and procedure, a ritual, there is a statement about debunking (about removing crowns, removing blessings).
A sample of this application is available.
However, it is better to check which application form to use with the church in which you are going to have the wedding ceremony again. In the church they will tell you how and what kind of petition to write, or they will show you a sample, and tell you which diocese and in whose name to write.
The letter is submitted to the ruling bishop. The waiting period varies depending on how busy the Diocese is; when your application is reviewed, you will be called to a conversation with a clergyman, where it will be decided whether your marriage can be dissolved. Only the husband or only the wife can come to submit a petition; the presence of both is not necessary. This is the procedure for debunking in the church.
There is no fee for the wedding, only a voluntary donation, the amount of which will be told to you by the priest in the church where you decided to marry your spouse.
How many times can you get married?
To the question of how many times you can get married, the church answers quite unequivocally. If you can get permission to get married a second time without any problems, then when you go for permission to get married a third time, they will look at you openly condemningly. It is possible that they will try to set you on the right path, reminding you that rushing from wife to wife (from husband to husband) is not worthy of a true believer.
Actually, maximum amount The number of times a person can get married is three. Especially if you are under 50 years old. But the third time may not be blessed.
Here is an insightful video on this issue, in particular about the third marriage:
However, some priests may have a different opinion.
Going through the wedding procedure more than three times is considered a grave sin! And in principle, according to the church, one should not marry more than once, without objective reasons. Only a widower can obtain permission to get married again without censure according to church canons.
Approach the wedding procedure quite responsibly and seriously; go to the temple only if you are confident in the strength of your marriage bonds and are ready to enter into an alliance not only before people, but also before God. Remember that two people are responsible for the preservation of a marriage and you must be confident in your partner with whom you have decided to connect your life, that both of you are ready to do everything so that your marriage does not break up.
So, the family boat crashed into everyday life. Or something else, the cause is not as important as the effect itself - two once loving friend people's friends go their separate ways forever. But some time ago they were preparing for the wedding, they were the most happy couple on the day of their marriage, and took an oath of fidelity in the church. And what? Since it was possible to get married, does that mean debunking a church marriage is allowed?
This question in last years has become especially relevant. And not because the number of divorces has increased. It’s just that some newlyweds, following fashion, after registering at the registry office, immediately run to get married in church.
Church marriage is a very serious Sacrament. Young people should think several times before deciding to take this important step. After all, a union blessed by heaven is eternal. At least they take such an oath at a wedding.
Church divorce
Let us speak frankly: if you think that civil divorce exists, this does not mean that the debunking of a church marriage is also possible. Such a procedure simply does not exist. There is no such thing as a church divorce.
However, if your family is still destroyed, and you decide to get married again in a church with a new spouse, you should not contact the nearest church. An ordinary priest has no right to give permission for a second wedding. You need to contact the nearest Diocesan Administration, the address of which will be given to you in any church. Please note that before a new wedding you must be in a registered civil marriage with your second spouse. When contacting the Diocesan Administration, you must have with you a Certificate of Wedding in your first marriage, a document on the dissolution of your first marriage from the Civil Registry Office and a Certificate of Registration of a new marriage. Documents for debunking can be submitted by one of the spouses.
Blessing for the debunking of a church marriage
Not everyone can receive a blessing for dethronement and re-marriage. There are several reasons for this, which are described in church legislation:
- incurable mental illness, sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS, alcoholism and drug addiction: medical reports are required to prove the above reasons
- cheating on a spouse, leaving one spouse for another
- assault on the life of a spouse or children, self-mutilation of one of the spouses
- finding one of the spouses wanted or missing for a long time
- change of faith of one of the spouses
- abortion, except for medical reasons
Reasons for dissolving a church marriage such as: bad relationship with relatives of the spouse, inability to provide financially for the family, different tempers are not a reason to debunk a church marriage. Permission for a second church marriage is obtained by the innocent spouse.
