Any love story begins with an unforgettable chance meeting, event, romantic date that produces the first and most unforgettable experience. Love relationship built by two people, they fight for their happiness and future. First dates are the most important moments in a couple's life, because they are the foundation for the future. Therefore, at the initial stage, couples try to please and surprise each other. Expressing sympathy and love for your significant other is the key to a long and happy life. love story. After all, everyone is pleased to see when a familiar couple who are already together long years and never ceases to be in love, satisfied romantic dates and surprises for each other. Every woman is a little princess at heart, regardless of her age, and every woman dreams of a fairy tale. But when a fairy tale comes into our lives, we try to find some kind of catch. We begin to delve into thoughts and guesses, especially if a man says I love him in the first meetings
Declaring your love is as serious a step as falling in love, it means you trust and entrust your feelings, your life to someone special. Women are often the first to break. This is not a vice, because we are simply loving, sincere, and by our natural calling we are created to give and share our love. If you are the first to confess your love, your man will definitely not only be pleasantly surprised, but will also appreciate your courage and sincerity, and appreciate your first and very responsible step.
When you are in a relationship, you are overwhelmed with feelings, which in itself brings the moment of declaring your love to your man closer. But what if a declaration of love happens earlier and not on your initiative. What if a man says “I love you” in the first meeting? How to react to this and why does he do this?
Everyone knows the fact that due to sexual differences and differences, men and women also differ in their worldview, in their sensitivity and perception of everything that happens. Therefore, we may not understand why a man says “I love you” in the first meetings. Perhaps this is some kind of cunning plan, one of the points of his insidious plan to steal our heart, or maybe, on the contrary, it is a manifestation of his weakness. The main thing is to consider how a man says “I love you” to you in the first meetings and not only. After all, men by nature are stingy with words, and just don’t say anything.
On the other hand, if a man says “I love you” in the first meetings, but does not mean it himself, then this is bad. Most likely he is trying to please you, because women love with their ears. But think about it, are you satisfied with this? Are you satisfied if a man says I love you in the first meetings, just to tie the woman to him through warm, flattering phrases? If yes, then he played his game perfectly, he got what he wanted, he conquered you with empty words and false words. If this does not suit you, you should not immediately act out of your hand and terminate your relationship with the man. Perhaps he didn’t just want to use you, but simply wanted to strengthen the relationship at the initial stage. And out of his stupidity, he said something that shouldn’t have been said yet, because feelings need to be proven, and not just talked about. Yes, the man made a mistake, but for the good, he can be pardoned.
But if a man says “I love you” in the first meetings and early stages your relationship very clearly and often. Think about the fact that perhaps he needs something more from you than just being together and the love he keeps telling you about. There is nothing wrong with a man and a woman having sex even in the early stages of their relationship, but sex should not be the reason a man wants to be with you. After all, how quickly he wanted you and got you, so quickly he may not want you anymore, and only you will be hurt. Read the man’s declaration of love to you also between the lines, because between the lines lies the whole essence of the message.
Smart people usually say that women choose their men themselves, and the fact that they ultimately take the initiative does not mean that they did not catch your subconscious emotional urge. Clever woman she will choose her beloved man and allow him to be the first to confess his love to her, so that he feels in charge, first, and strong. This is one of the tricks of a smart and cunning woman who wants to be loved.
And if a man says “I love you” in the first meetings, it may also be because he is soft and emotional. And this is not a vice, the main thing is that a man knows what to say, which will please any woman. Therefore, it is better to be glad that a man found the strength to tell a woman about his feelings than to be with him for a long time and constantly wait for a declaration of love. Which may never happen.
But whatever one may say, there is not a single woman to whom they would not confess their love. And it doesn’t matter whether it will be during the first meetings or after a long time in the relationship, the main thing is that the man loves you and is able to understand when it is worth showing and voicing his feelings.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you." Maybe every man who does not tell a woman about his feelings has an inner voice that turns on at the right moment and protects the owner from troubles? While psychologists tirelessly encourage people to talk to each other as much as possible, the stereotype that it is not a man’s business to talk about feelings is still strong in our society.
Let's say right away that not all women need beautiful confessions in verse. Here again, the stereotype about women’s natural inclination towards romance comes into play: “It is believed that women are sentimental and romantic creatures, they need beautiful words about love. And men are crackers. If you manage to “spin” such a cracker with beautiful words, it means he really loves you. That means you are an exceptional woman!” - psychotherapist Maxim Zagoruiko describes a common misconception.
According to experts, beautiful words Usually lacking in self-confident women - they need regular confirmation of their own importance, as well as auditory women who better perceive information by ear.
Without many words
Answers to all questions about behavior modern man Not only British scientists have it, but also evolutionary psychologists. For many thousands of years, our ancient ancestors adopted a division - men went out in groups to hunt, and women stayed with children and old people and ran the household.
“For men, it was very important to develop the ability to navigate the terrain, act coherently as a team, help each other out in dangerous situations, and restrain their emotions. It was men with such qualities who had a greater chance of passing on their genes to their offspring,” says psychotherapist Maxim Zagoruiko. For women, much more important was the ability to understand the intricacies of personal relationships in social group, understand your feelings and the feelings of other people. Thus, evolution supported the development of emotionality in women and the inhibition of feelings in men. In addition to evolutionary factors, cultural norms also play a role:
"It is believed that a real man must earn money, skillfully solve practical problems and be restrained, continues the psychotherapist. - Talking about feelings is not a man’s business. All sorts of sentimentality is a sign of weakness.”
Dangerous disease
Social psychology shows that busy men there was no opportunity to learn to understand my feelings and practice expressing them. Some people are still unable to figure out what they feel for the woman living next to them. "Do you love me?" - their girls ask quietly. You might as well ask a baby to recite Lermontov.
According to Maxim Zagoruiko, many men are characterized by alexithymia (translated from ancient Greek - “without words for feelings”) - this is psychological characteristics personality, the main feature of which is difficulty in defining and describing one’s emotions. “Signs of alexithymia include the inability to recognize and name one’s emotions, poverty of imagination, greater attention to external events while ignoring internal images and states,” the psychotherapist describes the symptoms. - It is difficult for an alexithymic person to distinguish between bodily sensations and emotions; for example, he may report his dissatisfaction like this: “After talking with her, my head hurts.”
Observation diary
There's only one reliable way To find out how a man feels towards you, ask directly. If for some reason you cannot do this or your question remains unanswered, it is worth using the very mechanisms that allowed our female ancestors to survive while men hunted. Empathy - the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person, to “join” his feelings - can help you in this difficult matter. “If a woman has empathy, she can, sometimes quite accurately, determine a man’s attitude towards herself,” says Zhanna Guryeva, recommending that you take a closer look at how he builds relationships with other people. If a man is cold enough, distant, taciturn and unemotional, if in his parental family they didn’t talk about feelings at all, should you expect him to fall on his knees in front of you and burst into tears of love.
“To determine how a man treats you, you need to be able to understand the feelings of another person; not all women know how to do this, although they endlessly complain about the lack of emotionality of men,” notes Maxim Zagoruiko, recommending observing the actions, as well as facial expressions and gestures of another person and be interested not only in yourself, but also in him. For example, noticing your partner's feelings, you can ask: “Are you angry now?” or “Are you happy?” If your guess does not coincide with the answer, this is normal, says the psychotherapist. But you shouldn’t blame and insist on your version - this Right way to conflict and even greater closure of the partner.
What to do?
If we leave slippery and meaningless formulations on the topic “everything is individual”, then there are three options in this situation: continue to wait until the man decides on his feelings, do not wait and just enjoy the relationship, or do not wait and look for a more talkative person. “A woman herself needs to decide how long she is willing to wait. And if all the deadlines allotted for this have already passed, and the relationship is not satisfying, perhaps you need to think about breaking off the unsatisfactory relationship and opening up to a new relationship,” says psychologist Zhanna Guryeva.
“You can force the situation and take the initiative into your own hands by actively getting closer to this man,” says Maxim Zagoruiko. - As a result, you can get yourself a man who you like, with whom you are in love. Or maybe over time it turns out that he doesn’t really want to be with you, or he may turn out to be psychologically immature, not understanding his feelings, and not wanting to take responsibility.” If you choose standby mode, you may not receive a response or you may receive a response and it will be negative. However, if the answer is in your favor, according to the psychotherapist, there is a much higher probability that this is an adult and responsible man who really needs you.
You have been dating for a long time or even married, but you still cannot hear words from a man with declarations of feelings. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can’t get words of love from your partner. Various thoughts begin to creep into your head, especially if your friends regularly tell you what kind of loving gentlemen they got. But don’t beat yourself up and think that the man doesn’t love you. The absence of these words is explained by specialists in interpersonal relationships. And there is more than one reason.
First of all, it is worth remembering that men by nature are less talkative than women. And if it is considered normal for you to confess your love several times during the day, perhaps without even putting any special meaning into it, for a man the priority is actions rather than words. He can confess his love to you every hour, but at the same time behave like the last scumbag, deceiving and playing on the side. So you better look at his actions, they will tell you much more than any words.
It happens that a man’s declarations of love are associated with serious complexes. For example, in his distant childhood, he confessed his love to a classmate, but he was ridiculed. Perhaps even for the whole class. It seems that such things are quickly forgotten, but this is not so. The psychological trauma received many years ago haunts the man even now, when he wants to open up to you. He is subconsciously afraid of being ridiculed. Or that you won't reciprocate his feelings. Or that you will then turn his feelings against him. It is extremely difficult to overcome complexes that have been nurtured for years. Therefore in in this case It’s better to leave your lover and not try to get him to cherished words.
Sincere “I love” implies not only bright feelings towards a partner, but also a restriction of freedom. Having said this, the man admits out loud that you are now the only one for him. But for many it is difficult to sign that they have made the final choice with which they are ready to meet old age and die one day. Inner fear puts a barrier on a man, and he cannot say these words. Perhaps he understands what he feels for you strong feelings, but I’m not ready to announce it yet.
weheartit
Of course, men have heard that they love women with their ears. So this is what they are afraid of. If he says that he loves a girl, it is possible that his partner will begin to manipulate him. “Do you love me? Prove it!” And off we go... She will feel her “power” over the man and at every opportunity she will remind him of what he said. Such behavior is, at a minimum, dishonest towards a person. But, unfortunately, not all representatives of the fair sex understand this.
When the registry office asks whether the desire is mutual and further down the list, people make some promises to each other and take responsibility. It's the same here. When a man says these three words, he will automatically take on certain obligations. Protect, care, help and so on. Not every man is morally mature for such a step at the moment when you hint to him that you want to hear these words. So he is silent and cannot pronounce them. However, there is important point. When a man decides to confess his love, it will mean only one thing: he is mature and ready for serious relationship and a new step.
All of the above are general possible reasons why a man doesn’t tell you his cherished words. Perhaps it is your partner who has another argument in favor of not confessing his feelings. But if there is harmony and mutual understanding in your relationship, you communicate, are interested in each other, the man is always ready to help you, gives you gifts and says compliments, maybe you shouldn’t demand any confession from him? Just get this obsession out of your head. Let everything take its course. There is no such thing that a man will never say such words to a woman in his entire life. Everything has its time.
Is it difficult to give a definite answer to the question and understand the reasons why guys don’t confess their love to girls? Why is it most often the representatives of the weaker half of humanity who take this initiative? There are many different opinions on this matter, which can be analyzed endlessly.
Reasons why guys don't confess their love when they love
In most cases, guys refuse to confess their love to girls because they believe that females are prone to romance and tenderness, but not males. This sounds somehow stupid, like some kind of stereotype. Every person has the right to express their opinion, their feelings and emotions, whatever they may be. So why can't guys confess? dear person in love with maximum sensuality and tenderness?
In particular, this is due to the fact that representatives of the stronger half of humanity believe that even by nature, girls tend to:
- speak sweetly
- smile sweetly,
- wink flirtatiously
- romantic touch
- etc.
And men consider it their “duty” to do something larger, global, courageous and passionate. But this is absolutely not true, real nonsense. Most likely, guys just don’t want to seem somehow sentimental or cute.
But honestly, if a guy really loves his girl, why not just please her by saying a few nice words? After all, girls often simply melt from the words spoken by guys. Exactly romantic and tender. True, it’s a pity that hearing this from men is very rare.
What could be the reason for such a reaction on the part of the guys? Why can’t they just say something nice and tender, preferring passion over romance? This is due to nature, genetics. Men have a goal in their genes:
- navigate in a particular area,
- be able to communicate well with your team members,
- reach an understanding,
- help each other in dangerous cases and so on.
And most importantly, guys don’t like to show their emotions to others. They prefer to remain more closed, trying to appear strong, courageous, and iron-clad. But in fact, as psychologists say, men are much more morally weaker than women. It is difficult for them to endure any losses, insults, and so on. If you hurt them once, it will be too difficult for them to open up to other people later.
As for women, they are much stronger morally. Without fear of being rejected, they can calmly talk about their true feelings. Romantic, tender, everything they think, unlike men, who are never possessed by romance and tenderness.
Reasons why a guy is afraid to confess his love
In general, again, according to psychologists, men cannot always understand their true emotions and feelings without knowing how to express them. Accordingly, we get the answer to the question, why don’t guys confess their love to girls? Because sometimes it is too difficult for them to cope with their emotions, to be real. They are afraid to appear weak, too cute and cute. They are afraid that girls won’t like them in this way. Yes, not everyone needs confessions in poetry and mountains of roses under the door. But any girl would like to hear something tender and pleasant from her loved one, right?
So, guys shouldn’t close themselves off, protect themselves with a barrier, or be afraid of appearing weak. Tenderness is not weakness. Declaration of love is not weakness. This is a normal expression of your true feelings. Just don't be afraid. You should hope for the best, and understand and forgive the reasons why guys don’t confess their love.
Are you worried that your lover still hasn’t told you those very cherished words? But do you really want to find out the whole truth about his feelings? Don’t be sad, because some people find it difficult to talk about their love because of the panicky fear of being rejected. Perhaps your man has simply never uttered these words before. Here is a list made up of several signs by which you can confidently judge that he loves you.
1. His kisses are long and passionate
Many people like romantic solitude with endlessly long kisses. But if your man initiates them continuously and his passion never seems to end, that means he really has deep feelings. This behavior cannot be attributed to banal lust, and it is more than excitement associated with your presence.
2. His friends love you
He tells his friends so much about you that they involuntarily begin to trust you. They instantly accept you into their company and feel confident that you can make their friend happy.
3. Your partner tries to be as close to you as possible.
Sometimes people get irritated by someone's presence, and no one likes it if a stranger violates the boundaries of personal space. All this stops working when we fall in love with someone. From now on, we want to be as close to each other as possible, even if we interact in public. 
4. After a kiss, a smile appears on his face
Of course, a kiss can bring a smile even without deep feelings between partners. However, if a person is in love, then after the kiss he will simply shine with happiness. Watch him and you will find out for yourself.
5. He is ready to listen carefully to you
Perhaps your partner is still a man of few words. But when you talk to him, he doesn't sit with a neutral expression, simply indicating his presence. Your partner greedily hangs on your every word. Your words are really important to him. Sometimes he leans closer to hear you better, nods in approval, or asks again. This behavior is telling.
6. He straightens up when he sees you.
People slouch their back so often. It’s as if they are unable to bear the burden of responsibility on their shoulders. But when someone wants to impress the lady of his heart, when he sees her, he certainly puts on an air of dignity.
7. He squeezes your hand
Your hand ended up in his hand. Now you feel how your lover involuntarily squeezed it. Know that his feelings for you are deep. 
8. He calls or texts for no reason.
Your partner does not want to part with you even in moments of separation. That's why he always calls you or writes sweet SMS messages. This means that he thinks about you throughout the day and feels comfortable with you in any environment.
9. Your partner is always nearby
What is the difference between random sexual relations and true romantic affection? Real feelings are not based on carnal pleasures. People want to spend time with each other and do all sorts of things. Does he enjoy going shopping with you and choosing food for dinner? Do you prefer to cook together? This means he is showing true interest in you.
10. He often looks into your eyes
Are you at a bar with friends or are you at different parts rooms where each of you is busy with your own business? At the same time, you often catch a gaze or a fleeting smile. Eye contact between people indicates a strong emotional attachment. Even if you are doing different things now, he still cares about you.
11. He pulls his hair
When people are nervous, they lose control of their fingers and often run them through their hair. It may look too romantic in close proximity to each other. Or your partner is planning to say something important, but just can’t bring himself to do it. 
12. He copies your behavior
Your partner will happily follow you to lunch or coffee. And when you go for a run in the park, he immediately puts on his sneakers. By displaying your behavior in the mirror, he involuntarily demonstrates to you that you have become significantly closer friend to friend.
13. He buys you gifts with meaning.
When we mention meaning, we do not mean the cost of gifts. It's just that your lover really thinks about things that could improve your existence. For example, he can load you with socks, knowing how often you rub your feet to the point of blisters.
14. Your partner laughs a lot in your presence.
So often he finds you funny and giggles when you do something stupid. It may seem strange, but the more often he laughs, the more serious his level of interest in you becomes.
15. His touch is spontaneous
When you're in public place, your partner may unexpectedly touch you. He may touch your hand, put his arm around your shoulders, or draw a sign on your back with his finger. This casual, spontaneous intimacy shows you that your lover wants to maintain contact with you even outside the bedroom.
